To those with super common surnames, like Smith or Jones, does it affect your sense of identity?
Posted by trendydoggo@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 247 comments
I don’t have a rare surname by any means, in the top 200, but I’ve only ever met 2 people with that surname and none with my exact first and second name combo. I feel a significant part of my identify comes from my name and haven’t changed it in marriage for that reason. Similarly, a couple I know has broken gender norms with the husband leaving his surname behind (one of the most common names in the UK) to take the wife’s as their name is very rare, they deem it more interesting. If you have one of the top ten most common names, how often do you meet people with your surname? Or is it still a rare phenomenon for two Smiths to meet? And have you ever met anyone with same first and second name? Does having a common surname affect how you identify with your name, or do you feel part of a big family of hundreds of thousands of people? Do you ever wish you had a different, more unique name? And would name rareness affect your decision on changing names by marriage?
zephyrmox@reddit
Why? I really struggle to understand this as a concept?
VegetableActual7326@reddit
I also have a really uncommon surname, when you meet nobody outside of your family with that name it does start to feel like yours. If I see someone else with my surname it's a big deal
My grandma had 1 boy, my dad, so the name isn't even common in my wider family.
Squeezieful@reddit
I have 2 very uncommon surnames, double barrelled.
I worked for a bit at a company and my manager had the same last name as one of mine and EVERYONE asked of we were related. Who knows, maybe we are distantly
trendydoggo@reddit (OP)
Well we just have a saying in our family that involves our name, like a little idiom with our name and we refer to it a lot, always have as a family! But I think that’s a unique one for me and my family, don’t think most people have family idioms really… so maybe that’s my own unique why
pm_me_your_amphibian@reddit
Where are you from?
zephyrmox@reddit
I struggle to see how an idiom creates a sense of identity either. It's just a name, a phrase - I'm a person....? It has zero impact on the person that I am.
trendydoggo@reddit (OP)
That’s okay, you don’t understand, you don’t know my family or our idiom and how it relates to my/our characters, and that’s fine ! But if you wouldn’t be happy to rename yourself a number, then perhaps you understand at least a little bit.
zephyrmox@reddit
I wouldn't want to be a number because that's just... not a good name? I quite like my name, I wouldn't want to change it but it isn't my identity. I see them very seperately.
No_Albatross_5104@reddit
I dunno, I feel that too.
I could never imagine changing my name if I got married because my name is who I am.
It was my nickname, it's my family, it's a signpost to the historic and geographical locations of my ancestors.
I do also like my last name so that is also probably a part of it.
Beginning-Mango8891@reddit
I'm a Smith and I really like being a Smith. I feel as though my community is huge 🙂. I kept my name after marriage and my children are double barrelled X-Smith. My sisters and brother did the same.
It also gave me the chance to use unusual first names for my children without overburdening them, if that makes sense.
I can't imagine being anything else now.
Hot-Cat-2451@reddit
I changed my name when I got married and went from having a surname that had a pretty rare spelling (I’ve only met one person other than family with the same name in 40 years) to a super common name. I’m still bitter
ChickenNew7324@reddit
I'm a Welsh Jones. My full name is so common that most people I meet tell me they know someone else my my full name. I'm always mixed up with other people of the same name in university/work systems. I regularly emails intended for someone else with the same name. I once got someone else's PRESCRIPTION. Same full name, same birth year, living in my post code. It's a pain in the arse. BUT I'm very hard to find online!
McFizzleKicks@reddit
I've been wondering about this. I have a rare-ish name. I was the only one with that surname in the phone book, only one at school etc. Never met anyone with my name. Tbh, it kind of made me feel special and a bit unique, which may be misleading, as I am now incredibly average..
h00dman@reddit
It was Ramsbottom, wasn't it?
VariousClassroom8056@reddit
Ramsbottom by name, Ramsbottom by nature
McFizzleKicks@reddit
Lived upper ramsbottom
Pigflap_Batterbox@reddit
The view’s a bit shitty there.
love_in_october@reddit
There are two people in the world with my surname and the other is my husband (my maiden name was rare enough and then we hyphenated). I think it's pretty cool. We're easy to Google.
Erivandi@reddit
Same. I work for a large organisation and the only other person with my surname listed on the email system is my dad, who worked in a completely different department and has since retired.
hiresometoast@reddit
My name is rare too, basically just means I have to spell it out every time.
not-my-circus1992@reddit
I've married into a unique surname and I now feel like this. I am also average in reality but it doesn't stop me tooting my own horn 😂
Jimbob136925@reddit
Well I have never met a John McFizzleKicks before... So I guess this checks out.
Apprehensive-Owl-101@reddit
I'm David Asplenium, beat that.
Rich-Lychee-8589@reddit
Its a pain when youre trying to do your ancestry...and find a Smith in there
Jonestown89@reddit
I once had a delivery driver ask me my surname and I said 'Jones' and he said 'oo exotic' and I still think about that regularly.
IOnlyUpvoteBadPuns@reddit
Not related to OPs question, but I once got told at euro car parts that my order "wasn't very sophisticated". I think he was aiming for "complicated", butI often think back to the shame that coolant and screen wash has brought upon my family name!
sgch@reddit
I once got told by a Dominos driver that my pizza order was "unique" and I genuinely think about it all the time.
Jonestown89@reddit
One of the other most awkward times in my life was then the BT engineer said ‘how’s the wifi upstairs?’ I misheard and thought he said ‘how’s the wife? She upstairs?’ And I said ‘yeah she’s good fine why? Do you want to talk to her?’
Outside-Resist4688@reddit
We have a one-room toilet at work and the light wasn't working. A workman turned up and I thought great he's come to sort the light.
He signed in and said 'so where's the loo?'
I took him to the toilet and went in to the tiny room with him to demonstrate the problem when he looked at me like I had six heads and said 'do you mind if I piss in peace?'
He was there to sort a roofing problem out. The ground did not open up and swallow me...damn thing.
Particular_Tune7990@reddit
And he was Williams the postie
EatingCoooolo@reddit
What sassy driver
you-effing-numpty@reddit
Absolutely ruthless!
MissKatbow@reddit
Absolutely roasted you
fotfddtodairsizr@reddit
Lmfaoooo 😂
SwaggersHereditary@reddit
One of my ancestors is literally called “Abraham Bagelhole”
re_Claire@reddit
I have a rare surname but it's not related to anyone in my family. My mum had been married in her 20's and never got around to changing her name back after they divorced. Later she met my dad, got pregnant, they were engaged but he left before I was born (real stand up guy - went away on a work trip and then sent a letter home saying he had decided fatherhood wasn't for him). My mum gave me her surname at the time. She eventually changed her name back to her maiden name when I was in my mid 20s and now I have the surname of someone who I'm not related to. I need to change my surname to my mum's maiden name but haven't gotten around to it yet as it's expensive having to change my passport etc.
But honestly I feel no affinity to it. My mum's maiden name and my dad's surname are both really common compared to my rare surname and I can't imagine caring if my surname becomes more common. I'd just be happy to have the same surname as my mum. I don't take my identity from any of it though. It's just a name.
OpenHearing1562@reddit
My first and last name are uncommon. I just spend my life saying it and spelling it straight after on phone calls 😂 hated my first name as a kid, love it as an adult. Definitely don't feel unique though as I'm named after family members. My surname does make me feel closer to my dad who has now passed though.
Megacityone1@reddit
I'm a Brown, my first time is quite unusual tho. I love my name and think it's unique. My partner of 10 years has a unique second name and I also love it but if we did get married I'd keep mine. The idea of a woman changing her second name to become part of the man's family is kind a weird to me. My second name connects me to my family (direct family, not every Brown)
Main_Protection8161@reddit
In short no, and I find your "obsession" with familial names very, very odd.
MrsWaltonGoggins@reddit
I grew up with a very common surname (top 15) and a fairly common first name, though not the most common spelling. I used to find it exciting when there was an actor or athlete with the same surname when I was a kid, but I grew bored/sick of my surname.
When I got married (I’m a woman), I took my husband’s name because I wanted a change, even though my new surname is even more common (top ten)! It also means that I now share a name (first name spelt differently) with a famous woman from history whom I admire, and I find that quite cool!
I do often joke that well-known people with my new surname are “cousins”, “great uncles” etc. But I like the anonymity of basically being unGoogleable due to how many people share my name.
Erivandi@reddit
Username checks out!
lunchbox3@reddit
Yeees. V common name checking in and the anonymity is genuinely helpful. I will say I do always use my NHS number to confirm info to avoid mishaps!
SleepySloth2468@reddit
Opposite experience here. I had an uncommon surname and the only people I ever heard with it were my family and grandparents. Where I grew up everyone knew my family so anyone who recognised my name immediately knew I was “one of them”. Not that it was a bad family but that was my whole identity, just known as so and so’s granddaughter/daughter etc.
I married and changed my name to a super common surname and then I felt like I became my own person. I was judged by my actions and not preconceptions based on what people thought of other family members.
AshamedNetwork777@reddit
Not really. Beats having a super complicated unpronounceable surname no one can spell right or remember
F_DOG_93@reddit
I kind of agree. My name is Faisal. And probably 2 people in my entire life (that weren't Muslim, Arab, or south Asian), have ever managed to say my name properly on the first try. In fact, nearly every workplace I start at, I have to keep reminding people how to say my name, even after months of being there. I recently started somewhere new a couple months ago, and even some people in my immediate team still couldn't say my name properly.
laughinggrvy@reddit
Fih-sal/sul?
laughinggrvy@reddit
I was in the same uni class as say "Dee MacDonald" while I was "Deb MacDonald". A lot of staff assumed we were the same person, which lead to mix ups. Wouldn't have minded as much if I wasn't the better student.
Actual-Sky-4272@reddit
Easier to hide.
AccomplishedRain9@reddit
I have 3 very common names.
I have lived with a housemate who shared first and middle names with me and worked with a guy who shared first and last names with me.
I hate it so much and really wish my parents had an ounce of creativity when naming me, but I also feel uncomfortable changing my name legally because I'm named after a family member, so it would feel disrespectful.
ampmz@reddit
As someone with an unusual name, I fucking hate it and wish my parents could have been boring. I guess grass is always greener on the other side.
iamthefirebird@reddit
I think, in this case, the grass is greener in the middle of the road.
jordsta95@reddit
Unusual in the sense of it's a rare name? Or unusual in the sense that every time someone tries to say the name you have to correct them?
If it's the latter (and it's not a foreign name with an odd pronunciation), I'm sorry for you. I never understand why anyone would do that to their child.
Like if you're naming your child Sinead or Javier because of some familial tie to a different culture, and want to preserve it. I get it. But if you're calling your child Aurial or something just to be "quirky", it should be deemed child abuse in my opinion.
ampmz@reddit
Not a cultural name but a name that’s similar to another name. I constantly have people refer to me as a name that isn’t my name, it gets spelt wrong all the bloody time, even when it’s in my email signature!
cregamon@reddit
Are you Johnny Infantino?
bumsaplenty@reddit
I guarantee that there are people out there for whom those names mean nothing unless they are you. You are what give those names meaning.
If that sounds too sentimental, it is because I am drunk
DigbyDoesDallas@reddit
I have 3 very common names. My last name is Smith and I married a Jones. We also recently moved and it just so happens our direct neighbours also have the same first names as the pair of us. Our mothers also have the same name.
It makes me very hard to find on social media which I like.
LoreOfBore@reddit
Alas
skullturf@reddit
I had a friend with the last name Smith, and two of his uncles were named Bob Smith and Bob Jones.
It sounds a little bit like a child was writing a story and trying to make up character names but ran out of steam.
Sparkly1982@reddit
At least it's more difficult to doxx yourself. You could probably tell us all your actual name and still be perfectly anonymous, somehow
iMac_Hunt@reddit
I have a very rare surname - so rare that as far as I know we are the only family in the world that has it.
I always say I wish I had a more common name. If you google my name the first page at least it’s all me - my linkedin, a few random articles I’ve been in etc.
That said, I suppose my surname does have an interesting story at least.
skullturf@reddit
I live in Miami and during one recent semester, I had two different students named Miguel Angel Gonzalez
Munchkinpea@reddit
But did you get to buy things with your name on?
As a child I felt very hard done by that my name was never on anything in souvenir shops.
Taylor_Kittenface@reddit
I also grew up as a Bart in a sea of Borts.
doegrey@reddit
Have you thought about either changing your first name and making your current first name a (second) middle name or just adding a second middle name and going by that?
It is easy to change. Worst part having to change all of your legal IDs.
DhkPandi@reddit
Are you sure it's the family member and not your local butcher? Given the commonality of the name
iamthefirebird@reddit
I've always known at least a few at any given time. It's never bothered me. If anything, it gives me a stronger sense of cultural identity, since it's known for being from a particular area. Maybe it would be different if I were addressed by my last name regularly, but I'm not a teacher and my first name is my own.
SealBSmith@reddit
Not at all, the world is so complex that it doesn’t really mean much. Most common names also have odd names involved in the lineage. I have Morton and Simpson as direct blood yet my dad’s a smith.
All it does is give us the chance to respond to any doctor etc when they say “so what’s your surname?”
“Smith, bet that narrows it down HAHAHA”.
Outside-Resist4688@reddit
My name is Lorraine and all through school my nickname was Lorraine Kelly. As an adult working with vulnerable people what do my service users affectionately call me? Lorraine Kelly. All my life people have laughed and said 'what would you do if you married a bloke whose surname is Kelly?'
I did get married to an Irish bloke in March as it happens.
You don't need 3 guesses for his surname.
Sea_Pangolin3840@reddit
My son in laws surname is only held by his family there's no one else in the world has it .
CaveJohnson82@reddit
I have a completely common first name but my maiden surname was quite unique; I was the only person in the country and possibly the world with it.
Now I'm Common First Name Common Surname.
I was not going to change my name upon marriage but I did, must have been feeling romantical (lol) - changing my name did give me a bit of a crisis but the actual name didn't, it was more about losing an existing identity.
I was one of about seven with my first name at school as well and that never bothered me.
MarsupialPrimary8128@reddit
If two smiths meet and marry, or two anyone's, not meeting and calling themselves Smith² is a wasted branding opportunity
JennyW93@reddit
The opposite of what you’re asking, but I have a very unusual surname. Despite that, I’ve found two doctors and one nurse with my surname (I am also a doctor) through publishing in academic journals. The two doctors are butt doctors, the nurse is a urologist. I’m a head doctor, so I clearly missed the memo and chose the wrong end (or the right end, I guess).
chillingonthesofa@reddit
You chose wrong end. Obviously.
MidasToad@reddit
Part of my identity is in my name: not what it is, but where it came from. Yes, it is common, but it has the heritage of my ancestors behind it. The reason my ancestors have this name is interesting, and the common bond with people from the same area with the same name helps me feel belonging and kinship.
...it is annoying having to have a number after my email after being the 11th of my name in the organisation, and having to field 'wrong person' mails.
Sea_Photograph_3998@reddit
No one else has my name. Love that shit. One guy in Alaska is close, but he dropped the z from the surname, as Americans do.
EducationalWeek885@reddit
Sorry to say this. But if a significant part of your identity comes from your surname and you think it makes you special then you really need to find something more important in your life. Names are literally just the noise people use to get your attention.
No_Albatross_5104@reddit
Hard disagree. I'm the epitome of having a ton of hobbies and interests, and doing some objectively more notable things in life.
I feel a close identity with my last name. It was my nickname for most of my life. It ties me to my family and extended family who are close. It directly relates to myself and my existence as "me".
It also signposts my heritage and ancestors, and even the location in the UK my ancient ancestors came from.
I don't think about it every day, but I would never change my name.
EducationalWeek885@reddit
Erm I hate to tell you this. But everyone's last name (who hasn't changed it) ties them to family and extended family, heritage and ancestors. Haha.
It's great to be proud of your heritage, but really strange to be proud of a name. What is your last name if you don't mind me asking?
No_Albatross_5104@reddit
No shit sherlock.
It ties me to MY FAMILY.
I'm not "proud" of my heritage, and I'm not "proud" of my last name. I feel deeply connected to my last name, and it's an ingrained part of my identity.
Neither OP nor I said anything about "proud".
EducationalWeek885@reddit
That was my point. Everyone's name has those things so this sense of pride is really strange.
No_Albatross_5104@reddit
Literally no one said pride babe.
EducationalWeek885@reddit
That's great. I mean you mention your ancient ancestors which I doubt you can trace your family back to. Sounds an awful lot like pride. You just hury as you have just realised all names link people to their families lol.
No_Albatross_5104@reddit
Hury? What's this word supposed to be?
Well here's a little lesson for you then: Some surnames in the UK and across the world are directly linked to a place, building, region, or people.
Have you heard of Scottish clans? Or perhaps names that are linked to large estates or castles? Or names that are linked to a literal village, such as Thomas Percy for example. Or careers: Henry Bowyer was a longbow maker.
There are names in regions of the world that have barely left their small town for centuries until the 1900's so they can be directly traced back to castles, woods, villages etc.
And then there are names that appear in certain countries, but originate in foreign countries, and directly relate to historic events such as the mutiny of the bounty, or geographically shifted due to the slave trade.
Capiche?
EducationalWeek885@reddit
And imagine putting capiche at the end of a response. What a strange little man
No_Albatross_5104@reddit
I'm a girl.
And it means: "do you understand" Which actually makes perfect sense in the context.
Why are you so triggered by the fact I feel connected to my last name?
It's so weird how aggressive you're being over something that is literally my own personal feelings? 😂
EducationalWeek885@reddit
I know what it means, it's just a strange passive aggressive way to end that I haven't heard or seen someone use in decades.
So you are from the US then?
No_Albatross_5104@reddit
The irony of you calling someone passive aggressive...
And no, I'm English, I'm currently standing in my flat in London as I type.
Why can I not personally feel connected to my own last name? Why is it you, stranger on the Internet, thinks they can tell me I don't? You don't even know what my name is....
EducationalWeek885@reddit
If you don't understand the meaning behind words your best not using them. Well done for standing in your flat? Is that the response you are after? Again - no one cares what your surname is, what it means or where it is from. You really are a strange person that it means so much to you
No_Albatross_5104@reddit
Oh honey. You really think you're good at arguing don't you? 😅
Stay in school kid.
EducationalWeek885@reddit
Great comeback. Why do you speak like an Italian American from a shite 80s film?
No_Albatross_5104@reddit
Probably because I used the word capiche I guess....
And you're right, no one outside of New Jersey knows that word.... /s
EducationalWeek885@reddit
Yes people know the word but using that unironically and ending sentences with kid etc. it's just strange that is all. But it's fine we have established you are a strange person.
No_Albatross_5104@reddit
Hahaha I'm a strange person am I?
EducationalWeek885@reddit
Haha by one person, I wonder who that might be?
Taylor_Kittenface@reddit
I think they're triggered because their surname is something like MonkeyButtFace. Bless them 😂
No_Albatross_5104@reddit
Hahaha that's got to be it. 😂
EducationalWeek885@reddit
It should have said angry. Your really defensive over your little name aren't you?
All last names are linked to one of those things, that's the whole point. Your not special. I assume you are American as no one in the UK is this obsessed over their name and trying to claim some kind of link to an area or people that they just don't have.
No_Albatross_5104@reddit
Wrong again. I'm English.
Again why are you so insanely triggered because I feel deeply connected to my last name? You okay hun?
I have never ever said "special". I never said "proud".
I only ever said connected.
I'm just gonna assume this is all a trigger because you hate your last name or had a tough up bringing. There's literally no other reason to be this aggressive because I feel connected to my own last name.
EducationalWeek885@reddit
You just sound like an American that's all.
I am fine with my surname. It's derived from an occupation and is very obviously from a certain region in the UK. The same as most British names. I just don't base my personality round it and don't think it makes me extra connected to the UK. Imagine thinking you are special because your name connects you with your family lol. AHH bless.
No_Albatross_5104@reddit
Okkkkay, I'll bite.
Imagine your grandfather was a globally famous, iconic and beloved British F1 driver derived from generations of motorsport history who when everyone heard the name connects your entire family to him?
Then imagine the rest of the family grows up in that world with a deep-rooted and inherited love of motorsport.
Then add onto that, some family members might really enjoy history, particularly British history and visiting historical sites and reading books, and leaning about the history of the British Isles.
Then add on that said family are really close and caring and feel like a giant extended family that all gather for parties regularly.
Perhaps you might feel connected to your last name in those circumstances too....
EducationalWeek885@reddit
Look I don't know if you are trying to impress me. But I couldn't give a shit who your family are. But of course your not proud, nope you never said that.
Well done you like your family. You are unique in that respect.
A-Corporate-Manager@reddit
I understand what you are saying. But the reality is that people are shallow and remember details when they stand out.
I have had my CV selected because of my surname. Someone thought it was cool. My wife has already noticed a difference and obtained a nickname that I had growing up. She has had people come up to her in meetings, remembering she signed off a document, why? Because of her surname.
So yes, an interesting person does not need an interesting surname - but a unique surname is going to make people think you're interesting.
GL17CH3D_R4M_5YN7H@reddit
I legally changed my name because I wanted it to be all mine. It mattered to me because I found myself. My surname is what I'm best known by now and it feels great to hear and feel seen, even if it just noises. Sometimes it matters but you're absolutely right that it shouldn't be the only thing that matters.
Chrolan1988@reddit
Spot on
r5dio@reddit
my surname is in the top 10 most common in london / top 30 in the world and not rlly tbh 😭
Logical_Hat_47@reddit
I had relatives called Jones. One of them used to say that everyone was called Jones until some of them became horse theives and had to change their name.
MumblingMak@reddit
Not a common surname growing up, but married into a far more unusual one. Big regret!
Ok-Dance-4827@reddit
Why regret?
MumblingMak@reddit
Because now I’m stuck with a stupid surname, and will forever be associated with the idiot I married 😂
Ok-Dance-4827@reddit
🤣🤣 that’s funny and now I’m wondering if he’s a lovable idiot or an idiot idiot
MumblingMak@reddit
Probably best to ask his new wife, I wouldn’t be very kind 🤷🏼♀️
Ok-Dance-4827@reddit
I’m smith and I’m marrying a jones lol
InfaSyn@reddit
I've only ever met one person with the same not particularly exotic surname as me. He called me on teams after a meeting to see if there was any relation. There was not.
Crowleyer@reddit
Ask someone named Patel or Singh. Lol
WilliamShaunson@reddit
I used to work with 3 people called Mohammed Patel. Big Mo, Little Mo, and New Mo. I was 1 of about 6 'Daves'.
thecheesycheeselover@reddit
Or Nguyen. I temped at a college with lots of Vietnamese students just after graduating uni, and could not BELIEVE the number of Nguyens.
aytayjay@reddit
I have a top ten surname and over the years have met many people with the same surname and work with several now. I've met two different people with the same first and last name. One caused a mix up at college when taking my A-Levels, and one was at work where we frequently got each other's emails - thankfully that one got married and changed her name.
I don't feel any kind of way about it really. It's so common that there's no family connection about it and it's barely worth commenting on.
I won't be changing my name on marriage. I might have if my partner had an interesting name but he also has a top ten surname so there's no point going through all that hassle to have exactly the same issues.
eralcilrahc@reddit
Mines Harrison which is common and I’ve never thought this far into it at all
Diligent_Pangolin_47@reddit
Eurgh, I went from an ugly but quite rare name to a normal, boring one, but what was worse is that it went from the beginning to the end of the alphabet. Not looking forward to my kids’ graduations - we’ll just turn up near the end I guess.
malemember87@reddit
Not really.
ElvishMystical@reddit
I have an acquaintance with the last name of Cameron and he gets a lot of stick, but this might be down to the fact that his first name is David.
TakeItCheesy@reddit
I have the worlds most generic name, I now barely go by it lol
Some_Ad6507@reddit
Of the 100,000 people at work, I know I’m the only one with my name. I know someone who has 47 included in their email. Still looking for a higher number
Gbrown546@reddit
No. Haven’t once thought about it. Think it’s a bit weird to base an identity on your surname
Darwen85@reddit
I have an uncommon first name, not single other in school with me but a top 5 surname, I never thought about any of that until I saw this post, I think I would be the exact same person no matter my name.
MrTurleWrangler@reddit
My surname is quite common but I've never met a single other person with my first name so it level out
sjb128@reddit
There was a recent post in the /LegalAdviceUK subreddit about a shopkeeper with the common and generic German-Jewish surname Epstein who’s getting harassed outside his shop by a nutter who found him on Companies House, which was pretty wild.
cherrylippz@reddit
I’m happy about having rarer first name and surname. No plans on marrying, but I can’t imagine ever giving up my surname. And at school I was glad to not be indentified as Short Emma, New Jess or Blonde Claire etc.
For the first time ever I work with someone who has the same surname, and I genuinely felt a bit put out when I realised 😅
KingForceHundred@reddit
I’ve an uncommon surname too but don’t feel it affects my sense of identity.
Boring-Print9058@reddit
I don't mind having a common surname. A mate's got a rare one, it's always commented on, everyone butcher's the pronunciation and he always has to spell it out when giving his details. Think that might get old pretty quickly.
Chemical_Ad_1618@reddit
My English. surname has a silent letter so it sounds like it starts with the second letter & I always have to spell it out as people will look at the wrong letter of the alphabet when collecting prescriptions, ticking a list etc. At least it’s a short name.
R1ceKai@reddit
Cockburn?
Boring-Print9058@reddit
It's itching more than burning to be honest. I'm not saying his surname, but it's far rarer than Cockburn and he probably wouldn't appreciate me talking about it.
killevery1ne@reddit
Crabbe is my best guess
box_frenzy@reddit
Id rather have a common surname than a common first name.
No one at school, work, or my friendship groups have the same first name as me, even though it’s a proper name (and not weird). Just not so common.
Chemical_Ad_1618@reddit
I dated a guy whose surname was jones. When he got married he changed it (I think for reasons you mentioned)
On the TV show Made in Chelsea Ollie Locke married Gareth Locke and they sign their names as Gareth Locke Locke and Ollie Locke Locke!
As a teacher I taught someone who had the same first and last name as one of my friends.
ProfessorYaffle1@reddit
I have a common surnam but a relatively unsual first name, and I quite like that. It means if I use my initial and surname I can be fairly anonymous but with my first and last I'm rarely confised with anytone else.
from goggling my name, there are 2 hits other than me if I search for first + last - one was in 2 or 3 silent films in the 1920s and the other is an cademic who has published several books in their professional field and has a slightly unuual hobby which has appeared in a couple of minor news stories ( (and who I suspect is the person whse emails I used ocassionally to recieve back in the mid 1990s , mostly relating to waht shofts they were supposd to be working) But I am the only one in the UK as far as I know.
My first name is one of the old fashioned names (like Edith and Wilfred) which have become more popular in recent years so it would not surprise me if there start to be a few more popping up in online searches soon, I think the easrly ones must be in their late teens by now - there is also a fairly well known acrtoe who has my first name so that will probably have made it a bit more popular.
-mmmusic-@reddit
i don't think mine is very common, but it's not uncommon either. somehow, people don't know how to spell it weirdly often, even though it's quite a common first name, with a big celeb with it as his first name, too
VariousClassroom8056@reddit
My name combination is quite common in the UK, there are hundreds of us in each town and more in the cities. You're most likely to see people with my name brawling outside a bar or attaching flags to lampposts.
Yours sincerely,
Wayne Kerr
tiibaalta@reddit
Thought Muhammad for sure, after the first sentence.
king_ofbhutan@reddit
or McLovin?
JorgiEagle@reddit
Here’s the thing though, having a rare surname is cool and all, and there was a bit of satisfaction of knowing when the substitute teacher reached you because of the very noticeable pause,
But let me tell you, the amount of time that people spell it wrong is infuriating.
I don’t have a rare surname, it’s pretty common, but it’s Danish.
I’ve yet to meet another person with the same surname (given I haven’t been to Denmark much)
The most infuriating and frustrating time was when they did yearbooks? In high school (stupid thing I know)
They managed to misspell my surname. The surname that is spelled correctly in my email address, that I had sent the quote I wanted.
The person responsible had been in my form class for the past 5 years.
I’m still angry at it
decentlyfair@reddit
I used to be a Jones and I fully embraced it, loved being a Jones. My current surname is 5 letters long and I have to spell it every fucking time.
toady89@reddit
My first name is rare, I've only met a couple of people with the same name and weirdly both times were in quite small workplaces. My surname is also rare and I've never met people with the same one though there's a couple of famous people who share it, one of whom spells it differently. I hate my first name, I don't really care about my surname though it does bring me a load of followers who either assume I'm related to a famous person or enough of a fan to use it as a fake surname.
DefinitelyNotEmu@reddit
I changed my name by deed poll when I was 25, it cost me only £15.
Anyone can do this.
thecheesycheeselover@reddit
I have an uncommon surname (apparently outside the top 31,000, lol), but don’t really feel it as a source of my identity at all, so that part of your post was interesting… . My first name’s very common and I feel about the same towards both. They’re just my names, hard to imagine I’d be very different if they weren’t what they are.
Years ago I tried to find out if anyone else had my first & last name, and there’ve probably been more but the last one I could find died in the 19th century… I’m 100% confident once you throw in my middle name there’s never been another in history. I do like my middle name, in fairness.
nooneknowsmehereeee@reddit
Not really. Though it does throw me when someone asks how to spell Smith - it’s very rare that it happens so I have to think about it for a second lol
Sensitive-Vast-4979@reddit
Weirdly my surname isn't rare but somehow I only know of one person im not "related" too with the same surname ( both families lived on the same farm and both the dads had the same first name but apparently it was a different bloke but seems suspicious)
Arlincornwall@reddit
I went from an uncommon surname to a common surname when I got married, I kind of like having an easier name tbh and being a bit more anonymous. That surprised me, I was quite adamant that changing my name was ridiculous before we got married.
Although on Facebook after we got married, I double barrelled my name for fun mainly to wind up my husband, and some of my husband’s family assumed we’d both done it. Turned up to a family wedding with double barrelled names in our place settings, caused hell with his family how though I’d forced him into losing the family name 🤣😂
Kj539@reddit
I’m a Jones and I honestly have never thought about it tbh. For some reason though whilst on the phone, I appear to pronounce ‘Jones’ as ‘James’ (I have a hybrid north/south accent as we moved whilst I was a kid) when I have to spell out ‘Jones’ they’re like huh, ok…
Over-Language2599@reddit
I have a common name and am occasionally confused with one of the many other people with my name, most recently last week, but I don't think my name has anything to do with my identity.
ximina3@reddit
Both my first and last names are very very common, and the combination of them is also crazy common. Like, I signed up to a gym and they had to come up with a way to differentiate me by middle name because I was one of 5 members with the exact same name.
My ex-boyfriend dated another girl with my exact same name right after we broke up too. That was surreal, because he was posting about her all over his socials and I was getting confusing messages from mutuals.
I got married a couple of years ago and didn't hesitate to change my name to my husbands.
ButtercupBento@reddit
My husband has a super common name. First and last. Think John Smith common but obvs not that. He always gets stopped at customs. We think it’s as his name could be a bad alias
I married and changed my name from an uncommon one with an uncommon spelling and that had great mickey taking opportunities so gladly became dull Mr Smith (again not that name). It’s great! I don’t need to spell my name, everyone can understand it on first go and much more minimal mickey taking occurs
RequirementEasy4273@reddit
Mine isn't quite top ten but common enough that I've shared a name with people in every workplace. Stopped feeling like "mine" a long time ago, just feels like a label.
terryjuicelawson@reddit
I don't have a very common at all (real) surname, and have only really seen it in the wild with a different spelling. I have always wished I was a Smith or Jones rather than have to spell it out or people look confused by it. Identity is just fine thanks.
oraff_e@reddit
A friend of mine is a Smith and he married a Smith, so it does happen! They joked they were going to double-barrel 🤣
Kingz1991@reddit
I have a very boring surname, but my first name is more unique, so it kinda balances it out.
MrsKToBe@reddit
I always thought my maiden name was more unusual as I didn’t hear it often. That was until I started work at a large utilities supplier and discovered there was someone there with the same first name, middle initial and surname as me 🤣It also stood out a country mile when i discovered through ITV DNA journey show that I’m distantly related to some famous people.
My married name is Irish and pretty common, but I’ve had to become used to saying ‘yes, that’s 2 Ls’ I didn’t consider keeping my own name when I got married, although I kept it for my academic work as my Masters thesis research was very niche.
sar_tr@reddit
Kind of related.... You should watch 'Are you Dave Gorman' starring... Errr... Dave Gorman. 'Tis very good. https://www.imdb.com/title/tt0280247/
robbodagreat@reddit
I have a pretty uncommon surname, but there was someone with the same first and last name as me at my uni. I once went to a party with some of his friends, but sadly never met the guy himself
zorba-9@reddit
They were an alias
rbrown1991@reddit
My great aunt was delighted that I was a boy as I could continue the family name. My surname is Brown. I honestly don't think she was joking. I don't mind having a common name, it's easy for people to say and spell which saves some hassle. I don't find it strips me of any identity.
Tulcey-Lee@reddit
I have one of those names and it is boring but no one has ever been able to take the mickey out of it as it’s so boring.
Me and my partner have been together 14 years. Neither of us have much stock in marriage but I’ve said maybe just so I can have a more unique surname (still not that different but better than mine!) ha!
you-effing-numpty@reddit
Mine is common, my mate's is incredibly rare. We were chatting about her taking another surname if she gets married, she wouldn't want to but would do it as she still values tradition. Whereas it made me realise that as a bloke I'd be willing to take the rare surname ie I have no attachment to my surname.
Hopeful-Wonder7644@reddit
Very grateful for my very common name. It provides a level of anonymity that allows me to blend well enough. People cant easily find me on social media as there are so many people with the same name!
coconutoats@reddit
I’m literally named after the queen 😭😭😭
FPH_Gaming@reddit
Freddie or Elizabeth?
coconutoats@reddit
Brilliant! How have I never heard that one before
evenifihateit@reddit
As a child I had the 11th most common UK surname and a first name that was the most used name for baby girls in the year I was born. I have never been in a school class or social group of my age that doesn't include at least one other person with the same first name. When I got married I made my husband's surname my own, and as his is both foreign and quite rare in his country of the origin I am the only person in the whole of the UK with this combination. So I went from being one of thousands to the only one! It is cool to know there is no one else in the whole country with the same full name as me, but I don't think it particularly impacted my identity when I was one of loads and loads of people with the exact same name.
Specialist_Emu7274@reddit
I have a common surname. I don’t really think about it other than it’s boring. My first name is more uncommon though so that might help. I don’t really understand why your identity would come from your surname, I’m sure there are far more interesting things about you that form your identity. There’s people I’ve been friends with for ages and I don’t even know their surnames
Dr_Lahey@reddit
I have a very common first and last name, which at one point was the most common name in the US, and I knew 2 others with my name in my home town.
Has never bothered me at all.
StacysCousinsAunt@reddit
I was a Jones and despite it being a really common surname, I've only actually only met two people with the same surname. I've lived within 2 hours of the Welsh border my entire life
I've always kind of enjoyed the anonymity of it that there are thousands of Firstname Jones on social media so I'm harder to find
badger906@reddit
My GF is a smith. I call her Miss generic lol
ladybigsuze@reddit
I'm a Clarke. It's boring but it doesn't really bother me. I like my first name and it's fairly unusual so it balances out. I was actually working with another Clarke today and at one point I had about 3 unrelated Clark(e)s in my wider circle.
(I only ever see it in context of my full name, so its quite weird to read what I just wrote. Like when a word loses meaning)
RaggedToothRat@reddit
I hated growing up with a common surname. My first and middle name are also fairly common. I remember in primary school, kids joked that I was married to a boy in my class with the same surname. There were two other girls in my year with the same first name. I could never make an email or username using any combination of my name unless I include multiple numbers. You know how your Facebook page link is created using your first and surname? Mine has six digits after it, and I created my FB account in 2007. Once, I went to the bank and didn't have my account details. The worker looked up my name and they had 9 other customers registered at that branch with my same first and surname, and three of us had the same middle initial! I longed for the day I could get married and change my boring surname. Only to fall for a man whose surname is also in the top ten. We decided to make up a new surname entirely when we got married. Now I get people complimenting me on my cool surname and I say, "Thanks, I picked it myself."
Ok-Sleep-7449@reddit
I quite like the anonymity of a common name and surname. Even if I used my real name online it’s hard to find me
HankHippopopolous@reddit
I have a rare name but literally couldn’t care less about it.
It doesn’t define me or who I am. If my name was something else I think I’d still be exactly the same me.
Literally not something I ever think about except for when I have to write it or tell it to someone.
Professional-Test239@reddit
I have the name Williams which I believe is number 3. Makes no odds.
We place far too much importance on our surnames. I remember all four of my grandparents and I’m as much a Parry/Davies/Roberts as I am a Williams. And then remember that each of my grandparents were only 50% their surname.
You’ve only got to go back 5 generations which is, what, a century to realise that I have 32 g-g-grandparents and 31/32 were called something other than Williams.
InviteAromatic6124@reddit
Are your family Welsh per chance?
My partner's surname is also Williams, and she is from Pwllheli in North Wales. She has been looking at her family tree for many years and roughly 90% of her family tree, going back as far as 1100 AD, have the surnames Williams, Griffiths, Evans, Parry, Davies, Roberts, Jones and Hughes. Most of her distant family and ancestors have resided in and around the Llyn or other areas of North Wales.
Wlliams is so common in her family tree that her maternal grandmother's maiden name was Williams, she became Griffiths when she married my partner's grandad and then her mother ended up marrying someone else with the surname Williams!
Professional-Test239@reddit
Yes I'm from basically that part of the world. My four grandparents I spoke about were from Harlech/Harlech/Barmouth/Wrexham. And yes, we don't have enough surnames to go around.
pixelunicorns@reddit
Both my partner and I have fairly common surnames, but he also has a common first name which means when he works on big projects there's usually multiple people with the same name, that can be annoying. He gets known by the company he works for and role rather than his name, though still gets emails and meeting invites meant for someone else.
I've met plenty of people with my surname and I always joke they are some long lost distant relation, many people have played along with it, which is always fun.
whitebelt_ric@reddit
Surname is Jones. Never even given it a seconds thought, so no.
han2electricboogaloo@reddit
I'm a Smith. I don't want to say my first two names on here but they are also incredibly bland. I absolutely hate my name.
Could have been worse though, my sister's middle name is Joy. Which is ironic because she's not a joy whatsoever.
Nerry19@reddit
My name is litterally 3 of the most common names. It doesnt bother me too much, but id like a cool nickname and never got one, people just shorten my already short and boring name. Drives me mad, because my bf has a really unusual name, and he has about 10 really neat nicknames.
Loralea13@reddit
I'd like a more common surname, I've never met anyone with my name, which is handy for email addresses and usernames and such as its never taken, but any time anyone asks it, to fill out forms etc I just jump straight to spelling it out without even saying what it is.
Anon_on_internet@reddit
I spent a large chunk of my life with a relatively common, but Scottish, surname.
The question "how to you spell that?" or, mostly, people simply spelling it incorrectly, was a feature of my youth and early adulthood. Which explained why I ditched my feminist cred to take my husband's easy-to-spell, common surname 😄
I've never met anyone with the exact same combination of first & last name, but I know they're out there.
Morganx27@reddit
I have a very unusual surname, I know of maybe 2 people to share it who aren't directly related to me. One's an artist whose exhibition I happened across, the other was a drummer in a famous band (but not in the most well known lineup).
In primary school, we had a topic in one of our lessons which was my surname. It's like if my name was Susan Trigonometry or Janet Mitosis, it was super weird.
Apprehensive-Till910@reddit
I like the anonymity.
External-Praline-451@reddit
Yes, this is a key benefit in the age of the internet. People who try to choose super unusual names for their children are setting them up to be easily found online! Maybe they think that's a good thing though...
InviteAromatic6124@reddit
I have a rare name (my dad is Indian so I've only ever met people from India with my surname and have never been there myself), so I can't speak for myself with this question.
My partner, on the other hand, has a very common surname (Williams). After seeing so many people in her family tree with the same recurring surnames, she has 100% decided to take my name when we get married because she wants an unusual and potentially unique full name.
She most definitely makes her name part of her identity.
OverTheCandlestik@reddit
A good friend of mine is called John Smith and he really doesn’t like being the most English name in England so he goes by his mothers maiden name
draenog_@reddit
I have a very common first name, middle name, and surname.
It has pros and cons. On the one hand, it's much easier to be semi-anonymous online. If someone googles my name they're probably going to get dozens of results, even if they put other keywords in their search.
On the other hand, it can cause issues. I put myself forwards for a sort of professional directory to do with my work recently, and it quickly became apparent that I wasn't the only [first name] + [second name] combo on the website working in my field. 🙃 We had a few months of emails attempting to make contact with us getting sent to the wrong person before the coordinator of the directory was like "...do you guys have a middle name initial we could use to distinguish you?" and I had to email back like "I mean, I do, but given trends for girls' middle names in the 1990s there's a strong chance that it won't actually help..." 🫠
If I ever get married I may end up double barrelling my name to make it slightly more unique. If not, I might have to consider adopting a second middle name so that I can at least be [common first name] [common middle initial] [uncommon second middle initial] [common surname] 😅
herwiththepurplehair@reddit
My maiden name is fairly unusual, and one that I would constantly have to spell to people especially over the phone. My married name is joyously common, one of the top ten most common names in the UK, and I don't have to spell it any more.
faultybox@reddit
I have a very common surname in England, and while it's a part of my identity, it being very common doesn't change anything about how I feel about it. It's old English, so it's nice to have that little bit of unique heritage to England.
I see names as a tool though, so I think I would be more annoyed about having a long surname or one that is difficult to spell than it being common.
Joanna1604@reddit
Having a common surname (Smith) does not bother me. It's still my name regardless of how many others share it. You are not special just because you have a rare name, it probably just means that you have to spell it when telling someone you name. I've never had to spell out my surname.
I've sometimes had an odd look when checking into a hotel in this country, but that's their problem not mine and it doesn't bother me.
What about forenames? Do you think people feel that way if you happen to have a first name that's common? Would you go so far as to change it?
Emergency_Mistake_44@reddit
My surname is in Top 5 most common for England and I don't really care? I'm not sure why people get so hung up on surnames anyway to be honest. Everyone at work calls me [first name], all of my family and friends call me [shortened version of first name], I don't use my full name on social media anywhere and unless proving identity over the phone or filling in a form, I rarely see/hear my full name anyway.
There are different surnames throughout my extended family due to marriage/non-marriage and other reasons, who cares? I know who my family are, what is says on my passport doesn't change my feeling of identity one bit. I know where I'm at culturally and all the rest.
keefm5a@reddit
I went to a gig where my friend was on the guest list and he told the door person his name was "Mike Smith." The door person smirked and said, "That's a pretty common name." He replied, "I like to think of it as popular."
Upbeat-Marzipan1122@reddit
My name isn’t Smith or Jones but it was super rare, when searching I was the only one with my exact name. I have gotten married and taken my husband’s name which is still rare but slightly more popular than my maiden name. My name was definitely linked to my identity and I regret not double barrelling my name. I feel even more attachment to my maiden name as I was one of the 3 girls and that is the end of my family name.
Subaruchick99@reddit
Double barrel it now! Or add it is as a(nother) middle name.
sossighead@reddit
Mine’s in the top 20, and probably in the top 5 in the region I’m from.
I’ve never really thought about it. But I do work at a company with a guy who has the same first and second name as me. We’ve never met but we’re always forwarding each other emails meant for the other one 🤣
bopeepsheep@reddit
Moderately common maiden name, slightly less common married name (with bonus 'the usual spelling, not the variant'), but not that much sense of identity either way. I'm published under current name, and all relevant work experience etc is in that name.
More importantly, I discovered a few years ago that 'our family name' only dates back to WWI and before that we had a much more unusual name, mostly found in one UK town/area. (Nice-ish reason for the change: lad signing up for the army decided to take his stepfather's name and put him down as next of kin, father on his marriage cert, etc.) So that removed any "but this is who I am" feelings still lurking!
Subaruchick99@reddit
I have a common surname and a very uncommon first name. I ❤️ my first name.
Substantial_Bus5687@reddit
I very much enjoy having a common surname, I love being unremarkable and unmemorable, it's almost like an invisibility superpower. If one's sense of identity has to be derived externally from a unique name, i doubt they have much of an identity to begin with tbh.
InkedDoll1@reddit
Yes, to the extent I changed it, many years ago. I hated being so common and ordinary. Now I'm pretty much unique!
MediocreMan_@reddit
You changed your name, solely because it was common?
InkedDoll1@reddit
Yep. My last name, not first
gonetospacebrb@reddit
I have an extremely rare surname (married into it). We’re talking 800-1,000 people globally with the same and to be honest it doesn’t give me a sense of identity. It just means I constantly get people making ‘funny’ comments on it and asking if it’s legit (Facebook even thought it was a joke and wouldn’t allow the change). It can be a bit of an annoyance! Even if I had a common surname I don’t think it would bother me that many others had the same.
ScarletScotYew@reddit
My maiden name is common, which is also my MILS maiden name (no relation - we hope 🤣). I/We now have a surname that I didn't think was uncommon, but you just don't see it widely used, and if I do come across it in the wild I feel quite warm and fuzzy. Something that never occurred with my maiden name.
cari-strat@reddit
I was a top-3 surname but I never met anyone else with my first/last combo and I quite liked my name. It was easy, I didn't have to keep spelling it out, it was harder for people to find me which was better in terms of keeping job and private life separate.
Current name is very uncommon, a couple of hundred worldwide and I believe I'm the only one with my first and last name. I have to spell it out every time someone needs to take it down, and obviously it's super easy for anyone to track me down if they want. On balance I probably preferred my common name.
Alone_Improvement735@reddit
Yes and no. I have a super common first name to go with my super common surname so am very used to hearing both names not referring to me. At school, I’d generally assume someone was speaking to someone else if I heard my name shouted but as I got older I do generally respond or at least look.
I never had a major connection with my surname. Yes it was my identity but I’d see it crop up (along with my first name) and it wouldn’t be referring to me. I don’t mind sharing a name with others as I know no different but I was more than happy to change my surname when I married to a much more uncommon one. My name changing doesn’t change what makes me, me and my achievements are all still mine. I’d probably have a similar sentiment if I’d had an uncommon surname from birth, but I certainly would have thought about it for more than two seconds.
Ill_Inspection_8036@reddit
Out of curiosity I checked, only about 300 people in UK have my surname. Around 1000 worldwide. Yet I still don't feel it has any bearing on my identity.
Curiously nobody ever asks about it.
Bastrato@reddit
I have the 9th most common surname in Britain (if you combine the 2 spelling variants, each individually are 27th and 29th). My way of spelling it is most very common in Scotland but not very common at all in England. So I spend my entire life telling people there isn't an E on the end of my name. It is tiring after a while, particularly as I regularly get asked if I'm sure. Which is a weird thing to ask a man in his 40s.
No_Match_Found@reddit
Not common, they’re popular.
GlitteringVersion@reddit
Not sure if it's relevant but I went from having an exceptionally rare surname, to an incredibly common one, through marriage.
Where as I do love my married name, as I share it with my husband and children, I do miss my maiden name because it was so unique. I used to get a lot of compliments on it. I still use it for work, so I'm not completely separated from it.
Although my married name is much easier to spell over the phone, and I don't hear many mispronounciations of it. It's also nice to come across the same name - makes me feel a part of something bigger.
MintyPinkDreams@reddit
I’m a jones but I only know 2 other jones’ makes no difference to me
Adminisissy@reddit
What do you mean by "its a significant part of my identity"? I could perhaps understand that if you have a big named brand attached to it or are royalty but struggling to think of any other reasons.
BOrdinary01@reddit
Have to say from a genealogy pov common surnames can be a bit difficult. However once found its the story of the person that is important, not just the name.
rhyithan@reddit
Not even slightly. My identity isnt tied to my name, its tied to my person. A name is just a name
dazzlerdeej@reddit
I have a very common surname where I live and my first name was very common when I was born. I knew of two other people my age with my name in my small town, and we were often confused for each other. Now I’m in a Facebook group just for people with our exact name, and there are currently 52 members. I’ve never really wished for a different name, though I sometimes think having a less common surname would make researching my family tree a bit easier.
slade364@reddit
Mine's pretty rare in the UK because it's Maltese - so whilst I can't directly answer the question, I can tell you that having an uncommon surname doesn't affect my sense of either.
In fact I only really think about it when I write it down.
mad_saffer@reddit
Nope, but just to be funny I spell it out every time... "That's with an 'i', not a 'y'".
yellowsubmarine45@reddit
Its not something that it had ever occured to me to care about.
Robertinho678@reddit
I've never met anyone with my surname outside of my family. That said, I don't think that affects my identity much, other than the occasional mustard related joke
ARK_Redeemer@reddit
Every time I hear someone give their last name as Smith, I always think of a line from Doctor Who.
"Smith? You've got no imagination! Try again, Mr Smith."
BurkesRoad@reddit
I chose my own name by deed poll, so I always like it when someone says 'cool name' or something like that.
ConstructionSoggy556@reddit
I have super common first and last names. In college, I had a class with TWO other students with the exact name. The professor had to refer to the three of us with our first name and middle initial. There is a minor celebrity with my name, and I’ve gotten jokes about that over the years. I used to whine to my parents that they should have given my siblings and I more exciting/unusual names since we have such a common surname. I’m old now, so I don’t care anymore. 🤣
Commercial-Emu6363@reddit
Yep I was a Smith and loved the privacy it gave me. People could rarely find me on socials and I was easily forgotten.
I have a very unique surname now after marriage and I love the connection it gives me to my partners family, and the heritage that comes with that but I am still a Smith on most of my non legal things because I’m happy to just blend in.
kirstinet@reddit
Alas.. another Jones here! But my family seem to like the more common surnames.. Mum was a Brown.. her mum was a Smith and her mum was a White! Makes it difficult to research family history somewhat..
Fit-Vanilla-3405@reddit
My daughter has taken my husband’s very boring common surname and I fret for her sense of coolness cause I have a badass last name. So I have no idea but her first name is kinda cool but with the last name it seems a little blah. I never say her name without her middle name… which is my last name.
Old_Introduction_395@reddit
My ex was a Smith. Several times when he ordered things in person, people would smirk, as if they didn't believe him.
I have a common surname, at school there were others with it, and everywhere I've worked. Only becomes an issue when email or loggons get confused.
The__Groke@reddit
I grew up with a pretty uncommon second name that I had to spell and didn’t ever meet anyone with the same one that wasn’t a relative. Of course they exist it’s not THAT uncommon but still, it was really annoying. I took my husbands name when we got married and honestly it’s been a delight being so anonymous and never having to spell it.
No_Law_1528@reddit
I have a surname that is similar to a fairly common surname, I have to convince people that I know how to spell my name. It took me three attempts to convince DVLA and two to convince HMRC. I had to attach a sheet and spell it out like JONES Juliet Oscar November Echo Romeo.
Automatic_Union8147@reddit
When I was younger I used to be sensitive about being a Smith and was even embarrassed because in the U.K. common has another meaning, rather than simply ‘popular’. However, now I’m older, I don’t care. I always joke that when I go to the dentist or doctor and they call out ‘Mr Smith’, three of us stand up!
FornyHucker22@reddit
better than some dodgy sounding surname 😅
Quiet_surprise79@reddit
My surname isn't even in the top 500 most common and I went to school with someone unrelated to me with the same surname. It was a school of 500 pupils. Everyone asked if we were cousins.
I haven't met anyone with the same (very common - one of the top 10 names for my gender in the UK between the 90s and 2020ish) first and last name, but I know they're out there because I've searched business names before.
Bowtie327@reddit
Frosty_Leg4438@reddit
I wonder if this is one of those things you only think about IF you have a common name…
I have, thinking about it, quite an unusual and cool surname, but it’s not something I ever particularly think about or attach any sort of value or identity to?
lilfaeri@reddit
My surname is very common. I don’t really feel any sense of identity with my surname and am looking forward to the day I get to take my partner’s name as it’s lovely and relatively unique.
Thankfully my first name isn’t that common so I’ve yet to meet another person with the same first and last name as me.
I have met a few people who have the same first and last names.
Somehow, I know 3 people called ‘Mia Harris’ and also went to school with two people called ‘Michael Smith’ who were in the same year so there was a bit of confusion. One decided to go by Mikey and that has stuck now.
Pure-Coconut628@reddit
I had the surname Smith and never really thought much about it, just joked about it being a super common surname but never affected my sense of identity, however, I have since taken my husbands name (super, super uncommon, double barrelled) and now whenever I have to give our surname I always joke it was easier when my surname was Smith! I dont feel any way about my identity with either name, just it was a bit easier with Smith!
MediocreMan_@reddit
No, not in the slightest, and I have a very common first and surname.
Name is a tiny part of identity.
WatermoonApollo@reddit
Not my sense of identity, but I do wish it was prettier. Or flashier. Just *more*.
DangerousDisplay7664@reddit
I don’t really define myself by my last name. It’s the same name as everyone else in my family and that’s all that matters - not that even that REALLY matters as I have step-siblings with a different last name and it doesn’t make us feel any less a family 🤷♂️
Particular_Tune7990@reddit
I'm not in Smith or Brown territory but not that far off- my first name is also very common.
Honestly, yeah I find my surname boring and am very grateful that my wife chose to take it on when she married me as like 'why would you want such a dull surname'.
But it's just me. When I say this to people they look incredulous and just tell me I have a fine british surname. The combo with the common first name does mean that in at least three of my working establishements there has been another with same first name/surname combination. A couple of famous sports people too as it happens. I managed to meet one once when he got a new mobile phone delivered intended for me - twas quite amusing for a few moments.
In the end - 1st world problem really isn't it?
Significant-Bend571@reddit
I called my GP the other year and got the address for the guy that always skipped school and blamed me for it. Not sure why she asked me to confirm who I was by reading the whole address out to me but it was funny hearing her backtrack after I mentioned we had a history
MountainMuffin1980@reddit
No? Feeling a significant part of your identity being tied to your "unique" name just sounds odd.
Danimalomorph@reddit
Nope. Not at all. Not one bit. No.
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