Have any of you recently sober xennials made the same realization I have that you’ve never been in a serious relationship sober?
Posted by natronmooretron@reddit | Xennials | View on Reddit | 19 comments
It hit me like a ton of bricks when it dawned on me. I’m better now but, there’s still a light sting. Are any of you making amends or coming to grips with this kind of shit?
DreadPirateR2891@reddit
Nerd speaking. Alcohol is the only reason I briefly developed any relationships. I haven't even had a second date since COVID, let alone sex or a relationship. Maybe the RenFaire this fall holds hope?!
supergooduser@reddit
I'm an alcoholic with 14 years sobriety. It definitely is dating on hard mode.
Aggravating-Alarm-16@reddit
Between booze, gen X apathy , and general lack of self esteem ; I was able to date lots of people.
I already hated myself , so getting mocked by pretty girls was a walk in the park.
But they were all crappy people
lurkiddy@reddit
I got sober when I was 22. Obviously I'm not lurking in this sub for the fuck of it.
I've gone through marriage and divorce sober. Married to my favorite wife now, we have a 10 and 8 year old at this point.
I have no idea how people get sober later on in life, y'all baffle me.
Congratulations on living life sober and on Life's Terms. It's a ride for sure.
Mudcreek47@reddit
yes
TwoAndTwoEqualsFive@reddit
I got sober in the middle of a divorce. Looking back on the years I was married, there are so many alcohol fueled regrets. I’m about 5 years post divorce and 5 years sober, and I’m just now learning to accept that the things I did in the past have made me what I am today. I’m truly amazed at the things I’ve been able to accomplish in that time, including a sober relationship. There have been so many sober firsts with my partner that all feel brand new. Up until my sobriety, I had not fully experience many things sober since the 90s.
mattpunk77@reddit
I haven't been in a serious relationship since I got sober 3.5 years ago.
justsomeyeti@reddit
I'm kinda the opposite.
My only two serious relationships have been during my sober periods (99-00, 09-now).
The rest of the time I was showing up to clubs with a golf ball and a wad of cash because that's pretty much the only way a dude that looks like me gets casual encounters.
Turns out, when I am sober I am husband material, but I never have been fling material
lavasca@reddit
Golfbalk? Are you buying rounds at Top Golf? I’m genuinely curious about how golf factors in.
justsomeyeti@reddit
It's an ounce of cocaine
_ism_@reddit
not exactly but kind of, a lot of things i'm doing for the first time
natronmooretron@reddit (OP)
Right on. I feel you
mistyayn@reddit
It took my husband and I 7 years after we initially got sober to learn how to be married and to stop doing stupid things to hurt each other. The last 5 years have been really good but how we made it through the first 12 is a miracle.
Ok-Context-5538@reddit
It also took my husband and I 7 years after I got sober to have a meaningful, healthy, sober relationship. Interesting.
natronmooretron@reddit (OP)
That's cool that you made it through together.
Hammerhandle@reddit
I spent the entirety of my marriage save the first few months, sober, after building the relationship through and around drinking. To say it was a miserable 14 years would be an understatement. I'm 18 months post-divorce now, and I want to neither drink nor date ever again.
PhilosopherOk4592@reddit
Yep. Single now and don’t drink often, but every relationship. 😭
SaltBag666@reddit
I had my first sober relationship last year! It was awesome at first but he was an avoidant and then ended up coming out the closet. Moving forward I have a preference for men who don’t or rarely drink. Most of my relationships have been boozy. Yuck.
MyNameIsCaulfield@reddit
Yep