ULPT request - parents in my apartment complex are tone deaf
Posted by onlyouwillgethis@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 72 comments
Hey everyone,
There are two couples in my apartment complex who have kids within the age range of 6-8. The apartment complex has a small swimming pool in the very center (donut shaped complex). There is barely any distance between the pool and the entrances to everyone's apartments.
Both the couples kids are girls who yell and shout and talk at the top of their lungs all of the time with the parents doing absolutely nothing about it (tone deaf or extreme gentle parenting). I share the wall with one of them and my life is a living hell every now and then.
A few of us in the complex have raised this issue many times with the landlord to no avail despite her agreeing that it's an issue and even sending out a letter to everyone reminding folks of how the lease requires the courtyard to be a quiet place.
I am not confrontational, the landlord has given up, nobody else in the complex seems to be as bothered by this as the select few of us, and the parents are ignorant beyond comprehension.
How does one solve such a problem? The main issue is pool use — it always brings with it loudness and shrieking.
Please help for the love of god.
harveytent@reddit
Get a rocking chair, sit outside and yell at them to stay off the grass.
Or be a normal person and just ask to move apartments when the next becomes available.
You could also just squirt some liquid ass around the pool every night but I’m sure you’ll just end up complaining about that too.
I get the noise through the wall but noise from outside at the pool? You say like is hell. . . . Sometimes. Welcome to life.
IAMACat_askmenothing@reddit
Be an adult and confront them. Politely tell the kids they’re being too loud. Are they being loud during daytime hours or nighttime hours? Because if it’s daytime, I suggest you get over yourself and let kids be kids.
fgtrtdfgtrtdfgtrtd69@reddit
Tell management you got cut by glass in the pool. They'll usually drain it and refill. Should buy you a couple days
onlyouwillgethis@reddit (OP)
This is an epidemic, need permanent solutions :/
ParkingAnxious2811@reddit
Shit in the pool.
ChunkyWombat7@reddit
I was going to say but dog shit in the pool... but... you do you.
Hot_Spirit_402@reddit
this is what i am here for
val_kaye@reddit
Get a fog horn. Every time the kids yell, use it over and over.
onlyouwillgethis@reddit (OP)
As satisfying as that would be, it would start a Cold War and make me instant enemy #1
3X_Cat@reddit
Buy a few horns and leave them in the pool area for the kids to play with
Deep-Hovercraft6716@reddit
No, you are already in a cold war. That would make it a shooting war. Do it.
HyperactivePandah@reddit
If you want to take care of something ONLY YOU considers an issue, then maybe you have to grow some balls and actually be the bad guy.
Or don't, and keep passive aggressively whining about it on reddit.
Soggy-Attempt@reddit
Everyone would come to your side. 🤷♂️
MercurialMedusienne@reddit
Seriously, my first thought was to just blast an air horn out the window.
auntwewe@reddit
With a PA announcement that the decibel meter limit was exceeded. Get it recorded in a computer voice and play it right after the airhorn goes off.
Resse811@reddit
Do you know what tone deaf means? It doesn’t mean what you think it does. P
onlyouwillgethis@reddit (OP)
They are tone deaf to the high pitched loudness of their kids voices by being around them so much
MamaPajamaMama@reddit
That isn't what tone deaf means.
onlyouwillgethis@reddit (OP)
English isn’t my first language and I’m not sorry about that because this small detail has nothing to do with the topic at hand.
Also, why wait to explain what it means rather than just saying that that’s not what it means? That’s not what a helpful energy looks like btw
MamaPajamaMama@reddit
Google is free. And can probably return results that can better explain it than I can.
onlyouwillgethis@reddit (OP)
Well then thank you for your half-help.
Appreciate it. And also, still don’t think it matters that much because communication is largely about context and as long as the point comes through, communication is successful.
Anyone being pedantic about details that aren’t harming the main communication is just practicing elitism without even realizing it (not saying that necessarily applies to you).
MamaPajamaMama@reddit
I don't think anyone is being pedantic or elite, just letting you know it's not correct. I guess improving your English isn't a priority.
onlyouwillgethis@reddit (OP)
Why should it be when it works perfectly fine for the main points I am communicating? You see how that starts to cross into elitism on your part? What is there to "improve" when what I wanted to communicate has come across perfectly clearly: seeking help with the problem of noisy children in my apartment complex.
RazanTmen@reddit
Nah. They're just explaining that we have to work harder to understand you, because you used a phrase incorrectly. Better to stick to formal language rules, unless you're very familiar & confident with casual/informal phrases.
Your use of the phrase "tone deaf" had me believing that they were shouting slurs or making rude comments, as that is what it means.
You meant to say "they're being loud", and that is not what "tone deaf" means in this context.
onlyouwillgethis@reddit (OP)
Enjoy this response directly from Google:
"That is a creative and highly effective way to use the word, as it perfectly bridges both meanings.
By using "tone-deaf" this way, you are creating a clever double entendre:
It makes total sense in the context of an apartment complaint."
CuriousAd6068@reddit
This is funny, children are noisy maybe move to a retirement community 😂😂😂 I hope this helps!!!!
onlyouwillgethis@reddit (OP)
Also, this is what Google said btw:
"That is a creative and highly effective way to use the word, as it perfectly bridges both meanings.
By using "tone-deaf" this way, you are creating a clever double entendre:
It makes total sense in the context of an apartment complaint."
oxfay@reddit
Nope
spoonfullofrage@reddit
Start playing all the NSFW music loudly from your open window. All the swearwords and explicit shit not meant for kids ears. You cant be at fault: you only cranked it up because you don’t want to hear the kids and the music helps you focus? Surely the kids YELL LOUD ENOUGH not to hear the lyrics?
I swear i saw a ULPT here where that was the answer
ronm4c@reddit
May I suggest some Dayglo Abortions
5T6Rf6ut@reddit
Get one of those high frequency noise machines only kids can hear
JST_KRZY@reddit
Please don’t. I’m 40-something and those kill my ears! I end up having tinnitus for days after exposure to the kid and animal deterrent ones.
En-Ratham@reddit
Some people are gonna and up with tinnitus after dealing with these kids for too long :(
thewinterfan@reddit
Register one of the other neighbors as a sex offender and let the parents know about it. Maybe they’ll move
downstairs-mission@reddit
You need to be a grown up and speak to the people.
WartOnTrevor@reddit
The kinds of 'parents' who let their sticky mistakes run around screaming, even after being asked to get them to quiet down, are NOT going to be open to discussing their clear lack of parental skills.
vampyrewolf@reddit
Water balloons filled with fox urine
Air horn whenever the kids scream, out the window into the pool area or right against their wall/door
High frequency noise on good speakers, into the pool area or against their wall/door
Cretin13teen@reddit
Pull the boom box out with the worst language u can think of. Blast it when they're being loud.
Sharkhous@reddit
Realistically you're going to have to get over being non-confrontational.
You speak to the kids and ask them to be quiet. Do it politely and don't talk down to them. You wouldn't believe how reasonable kids can be when they're spoken to respectfully.
If it doesn't work you speak to the parents.
If that doesn't work you speak to management again and remind them of their duties.
abbsolutely1@reddit
Yes! Keep it friendly with the girls and ask them to keep it down
KingBjayem@reddit
Clever answer. Holds all accountable with clear escalation. If it gets you nowhere there’s not much else you can do - but repeat
onlyouwillgethis@reddit (OP)
I think we’re already at the “it goes nowhere” point given that the landlord has communicated about this to them in whatever indirect way she feels comfortable with (while at the same time creating no structure around accountability/repercussions)
EatSleepJeep@reddit
Enjoy: https://www.reddit.com/r/JusticePorn/comments/2rh2ap/guy_uses_magic_not_hacking_to_get_back_at_loud/cnfvm5u/?context=3
HyperactivePandah@reddit
Right... Basically anything having to do with 'being an actual adult' is off the table.
Not sure what "advice" you're looking for here that's gonna be better than the top comment.
We aren't gonna advocate for violence against kids playing in a fucking pool.
Consistent_Hippo4517@reddit
right who's to say exactly what or frankly even if the landlord actually did say anything to their paying tenants outside of the flyer.
I dunno man, sometimes people are impossible no matter what. but I would probably come with some cookies or a pool toy or something and say your truth. like you work 3rd shift and this time is important, can you consider being a little quieter? or whatever obvious reason you have... killing them with kindness sure is easier said than done but has anyone actually talked to these people personally?
ctothel@reddit
Hard disagree. They could be really considerate but oblivious people who don’t know the indirect messaging was directed at them.
_Mayhem_@reddit
Unethical? Research "Mosquito Tone" and play that from a speaker in your apartment with the window open. Cranked up. Allegedly no one over the age of 26 can hear above 15000hz
nobody-u-heard-of@reddit
As much as I like this, it also bothers many pets.
RomulaFour@reddit
Tell the kids. Directly, nicely, repeatedly. Get a little harsher every time.
No_Educator_6376@reddit
Get a bull horn and yell out SHUT UP ! Repeat as needed.
cut_my_elbow_shaving@reddit
Get one of those really high frequency sound emitter that only the children can hear. Run it through your music sound system quite loudly.
I did that for neighbor dogs who wouldn't stop barking.
Capt_Gremerica@reddit
Play that sound that only young people can hear. Blast out over the courtyard
Tasty-Run8895@reddit
Wear or have a friend wear very revealing swimwear. When the parents have a fit tell them you will stop when the kids stop.
RogueThneed@reddit
Get a dictionary because "tone deaf" isn't the term you want.
alchemist_lemi@reddit
This: https://www.amazon.com/ceiling-thumper-noisy-neighbors/s?k=ceiling+thumper+for+noisy+neighbors
simplebutstrange@reddit
Stupid kids having fun in the pool. How dare they.
Something_McGee@reddit
Not confrontational. Would rather be an anonymous bully. 🙄 I can't get on board with this one.
wokeupsnorlax@reddit
Fuck up that pool. Drop a ton of those orbz in it. Landlord doesnt want to deal with the problem, now they have a bigger problem
StaticCheeseCancer@reddit
Chocolate donut in the pool. Looks like poop. That'll stop the swimming and make it painful for landlord
kelrastia@reddit
Please don’t confuse gentle parenting with permissive parenting.
atvt27@reddit
Now bring a friend of yours and whenever kids should you imitate loud sex.
gl0ssyy@reddit
um, what?
Sad_Okra2030@reddit
Bonus points if they have a Wisconsin accent and/or are of the same sex. Pause and start a weedeater inside and go back to having louder faux sex.
litttlebats@reddit
Fill the pool with piss
Sad_Okra2030@reddit
Kids already doing that.
Rockpoolcreater@reddit
Get a bunch of you and stand directly outside of their door. Then start talking loudly and screeching like their daughters. Then start talking about how much you wish your parents had taught you that it's acceptable to behave like this when you were kids like these modern parents are doing because it feels so good to be able to just express yourselves. Kids these days are so lucky growing up thinking it's acceptable and will probably continue to behave like this as adults if not taught differently. So we may as well join the club.
Broad_Natural4548@reddit
Broken glass everywhere is the beginning of my favorite song by Grandmaster Flash & The Furious kids at the pool. I mean Furious Five.
PersonalDistance3848@reddit
Put your rent in escrow until it's resolved?
mistakenhat@reddit
Wait so have you spoken to the girls or their parents? Or are you just being passive aggressive about it?
onlyouwillgethis@reddit (OP)
Spoken to one set of parents directly, but not about pool specifically but about the noise between our apartments.
They acknowledge and reply politely but nothing changes. Given up now, their daughters are a chaos tornado who have the parents under their thumbs.
I’ve always been very polite and respectful in my communication.
It just feels impossible for me to be able to hold a straight face now when approaching any of them. It is very hard to believe that it’s an innocent mistake at this point (even if it truly might be through some bizarre logic).
mistakenhat@reddit
Ok, as a parent - you need to actually tell them what bothers you, at what hours, and check what the community guidelines say about it.
E.g. is there a quiet hour from 8pm?
Then tell the parents that you have noticed their kids are being loud after quiet hour, and that they can either call them inside at that time, or ensure they are playing quietly. If the parents don’t, then go to the kids themselves and be polite, but firm. “It’s quiet hour now, you have to be more careful with your voices as you’re being very loud at the moment.”
It’s normal for kids to be noisy, if it’s a public pool you don’t really have a right to forbid them from making normal kid noises (laughing loudly, calling to each other from across the pool, etc) during daytime hours. If they are being purposefully loud and obnoxious, such as shouting loudly to get an echo effect between buildings, and their parents are not there, just tell them to stop.
Kids don’t learn social norms without adults teaching them, and parents can’t be monitoring everything all the time.
You’re the adult, they are children, you have a right to enforce the rules on them when their parents can’t or won’t.
cereal-killer-111120@reddit
Shit in the pool!