When you eat out, ask the waiter if they have human flesh. When they say no, shrug and order something off the menu. Be sure to leave a nice tip.
Posted by weirdinchicago@reddit | CrazyIdeas | View on Reddit | 33 comments
Saint-Spaghetti@reddit
And if they say yes? What if they remove my menu and return with a pamphlet that shows people, their bmi, and current mental state?
Momma didn't raise no bitch but this idea could put you in a compromising situation quickly.
174wrestler@reddit
"No, but we have bacon."
Human skin and pig skin are very similar. They use pig bellies, i.e. bacon, in the lab as a substitute.
GulfCoastLaw@reddit
In this economy?
Machiavvelli3060@reddit
Cannibals are the ultimate humanitarians.
Ok-Rooster4557@reddit
I've never had a waiter around when I was eating out..... oh... nevermind
CuntSnotGargler@reddit
I don't understand why people on reddit are so vulgar.
Decent_Criticism9772@reddit
i agree cuntsnotgargler
Ok-Rooster4557@reddit
It's only vulgar if you have a vulgar mind as well
BeerAndTools@reddit
Do you see their name?
Ok-Rooster4557@reddit
Yeah
RestInPillows@reddit
Because anonymity brings out people's true selves
TRDBG@reddit
You've never worked in a restaurant in your early 20s
GoliathBoneSnake@reddit
No, but my ex did.
Ok-Rooster4557@reddit
Was she a head waitress?
Ok-Rooster4557@reddit
Never
PM_Your_Wiener_Dog@reddit
It's the guy that comes around & asks if you're enjoying your pie.
Ok-Rooster4557@reddit
Guess I've never been anywhere that fancy I usually just enjoy my pie then go
chemprofdave@reddit
“Try the Long Pig - it’s very tender.”
paulin727@reddit
I usually ask the waiter if I can eat his flesh.
Penis-Dance@reddit
Long pig
chLORYform@reddit
If you wanna keep the bit running longer, ask for long pig.
Phy_Scootman@reddit
How do you convince mom to drop you off at a restaurant and leave you with "dinner + good tip" money? Or is this a clandestine, playground pontificated personal goal?
VisionAri_VA@reddit
The reaction you’ll most likely get is an eye roll (“Hey, Marge; looks like we got an edgelord at table 12.”)
hamburgernet@reddit
High risk, zero reward
Atelier1001@reddit
As a waiter I can cheerfully share with you that all food has a non 0 percentage of human flesh.
Alert_Cover_6148@reddit
That’s reassuring!
PurrMysteryGal@reddit
This would label you as “the interesting customer”.
OkDrag3967@reddit
Would definitely recommend doing this in some town that you’re traveling through and not your hometown
atomicshrimp@reddit
Alternatively, when the waiter says they don't have human flesh, squeeze their arm and say 'but it looks so realistic!' then widen your eyes in horror and run away, screaming 'Replicants! The replicants are here!'
Get_your_grape_juice@reddit
But just the tip.
glitterfaust@reddit
I’d be confused thinking they were asking me personally if I did, to which the answer would be yes.
Get_your_grape_juice@reddit
A slice of your finest meat, then.
DoookieMaxx@reddit
Calm down r/foundsatan