You don't feed seagulls in Germany
Posted by Proof_Order1860@reddit | 4chan | View on Reddit | 113 comments
Posted by Proof_Order1860@reddit | 4chan | View on Reddit | 113 comments
Tactical_Epunk@reddit
I'm lost. Who?
Captain_Chorm@reddit
Canada has assisted suicide.
“Helping it by killing it”
Tactical_Epunk@reddit
I know that part, who's the whale? What's the story?
Umak30@reddit
Boomers, animal rights activists and influencers went crazy over a stranded whale in the Baltic Sea in Germany. The experts said the whale would die soon. Crazy activists went crazy, bullied the experts, bullied the local government, demanded that the whale be saved, influencers abused the situations, boomers loved to gawk at it and eat fish sandwiches.. For one month the whale was bullied and tortured because of this crowd.
At the end the animal was dragged out closer to the Sea, and it died soon afterwards and is now stranded near Denmark.
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cata2k@reddit
Nice easy. Why am I supposed to give a shit? You forgot the most important part
droogvertical@reddit
that’s pretty funny
CodSoggy7238@reddit
It was fkn insane. For weeks it was the base small talk in the office. The media event of the years so far. It was a mystical spring.
Daysleeper1234@reddit
I live in Germany, I have seen it once in news and that was it. I had no fucking clue this was happening. So I think this one is on you, champ.
davesg@reddit
Funny...?
oby100@reddit
Comedic. Amusing. Tickles one’s senses.
Ya know. Funny. Like a clown.
Gsichtskrapfn@reddit
Tickles my brain
edbods@reddit
really activates the almonds
RoguRawsauce@reddit
gets my noggin' joggin'
TomatoSpecialist6879@reddit
Vocal minorities yelling before getting their facts right, then doing more harm than good. What a classic.
Automatic_Day5460@reddit
First-worlders who are too removed from nature get absolutely stupid about wild animals dying. I'll never forget all that drama about a zoo needed to cull surplus giraffes and deciding to feed the meat to lions and getting death threats and sued in court, like, what do people think lions eat in nature?
VampiroMedicado@reddit
People on the internet are weird as fuck when it comes to animals.
igerardcom@reddit
Hey, I've seen this one!
rlaxowns@reddit
... way too many times
BadDesperado@reddit
Didn't it also restrand itself a couple of times?
Basically whenever it kinda got free
Single-Bad-5951@reddit
where were they when kony 2012's bravest soldier harambe was kil
fine93@reddit
lol didnt read
AOC_Gynecologist@reddit
thanks for letting us know
Halcyon_156@reddit
Thank you for this writeup and fuck these people. Poor whale deserved to die in peace.
There was a dead whale carcass on the beach when I lived near Monterey, California, and boy did it fucking stink. It was just a mass of rotting blubber tossing in the surf after a while and it was there for weeks or months. It was always a trip to walk past it.
blizmd@reddit
Only one way to get rid of it…dynamite
CrazyTownUSA000@reddit
Should have just sent Peter with a forklift
JuniorCaptainTenneal@reddit
You mean klaus? Lmao
tomtheconqerur@reddit
Can we just hunt hippies for sport? They aren't even sapient.
lexiconhuka@reddit
Here in America we just blow up the whale
Luwuci-SP@reddit
It's basically made of fuel, just asking for it
Tyraid@reddit
It’s almost rude to not blow it to smithereens
Coffeeisforclosers_@reddit
Certain that in the UK (I think) they blew a dead one up on a beach and it didn't go well
nondescriptzombie@reddit
Seattle, Washington
CumTrumpet@reddit
Florence, OR.
Rambozo77@reddit
Salt Lake City, UT
Tyraid@reddit
Cedar Rapids, IA
Paradox@reddit
Giraffe
fibojoly@reddit
Because blowing shit up is a national pastime in the UK? At least if you had said Donegal...
meIRLorMeOnReddit@reddit
That was mostly the IRA
circlejerker2000@reddit
Guys please don't laugh at us, the stupid fish (I'm not going to give him the honour to address him correctly) was nationwide escapism, we neeeeeeed an outlet
Defective_Falafel@reddit
Poland is literally right there.
circlejerker2000@reddit
Unfortunately (?) the german military is nowhere strong enough to invade and occupy another country successfully
BanzaiKen@reddit
Thats never stopped them before.
Scasne@reddit
Nor is the Airforce strong enough to bomb London, and I say that as a Brit
Single-Bad-5951@reddit
it's a shame our airforce won't bomb London
gunfox@reddit
Could have bombed that whale though…
AOC_Gynecologist@reddit
appropriately matched adversary
meIRLorMeOnReddit@reddit
I’d say there’s only one or two militaries in the world that can do that. And neither of them is Russia.
PM_MeYourNynaevesPlz@reddit
Either whales are fish, or nothing is fish.
REEETURNOFTHEMACC@reddit
[ Removed by Reddit ]
Shalashaska87B@reddit
The TV in Italy talked about this some days ago, but nowhere near what Umak30 explained: the news was about a whale stranded on German shores and an extremely complex rescue operation carried out to help the animal. Nothing about boomers, youtubers and injuries caused by some idiot(s).
Learning that the whale died "shortly" after being returned to the open sea is a bit saddening, NGL.
celebral_x@reddit
Experts said repeatedly, that the whale would die.
sneak_man@reddit
What is with this sentiment about Canadian assisted suicides people really have no understanding of that shit they think it's extremely common and unregulated or something
ArtfulBroom@reddit
In 2019 there were 5665 cases of MAID being administered. In 2024 it was 16,499 That’s 5.1% of all deaths in Canada in 2024. Data for 2025 is still being analysed, god only knows what that number was
Hearasongofuranus@reddit
Seriously? What the fuck? Did they install suicide booths or is that just euthanasia or inability to live off of pension so they get a pass on state mandated rope?
sprinkill@reddit
Wa- Wait...you're telling me that the recipients of the State mandated suicides are hanged? Are these not just mass executions?
LegOfLamb89@reddit
They're not mass executions or hangings. They're a medical intervention for people that have terminal illness or some other incredible incurable disability. A friend of mine had a stroke and was left paralyzed from the neck down. She was on feeding tube and assisted breathing and all that. She chose maid and went out on her own terms. She was a badass and missed dearly, but ill always remember that she looked death in the face and said let's go. rip kells
sprinkill@reddit
Naw, fuck that. They're hangings.
LegOfLamb89@reddit
Yeah fuck you. My friend made her choice and I'm glad she was able to die with dignity not forced to live trapped in a hospital bed with no possible solution.
sprinkill@reddit
Hangings.
jewmas@reddit
instead of slowly and painfully dying of an incurable disease you can just die how you want. Is that such an insane idea?
nondescriptzombie@reddit
Slowly and painfully dying of depression....
If it was just terminal cancer patients it wouldn't be so controversial.
simp4malvina@reddit
you can always tell when a take is from some dried up sponge brained boomer because of the ....
nondescriptzombie@reddit
You can always tell when a take is from some fried out TikTok brained Zoomer because of the reliance on emotion and complete inability to tackle the material head on.
simp4malvina@reddit
Calling your comment 'the material' implies it is something of substance.
nondescriptzombie@reddit
Like I said. Can't engage, would rather hurl insults.
trainsssssssss@reddit
[ Removed by Reddit ]
jewmas@reddit
You have no idea what you're talking about
nondescriptzombie@reddit
O-kay.
FuckRedditIsLame@reddit
My mother in law was diagnosed with an incurable medical condition that according to MAID, would qualify her for prompt death. This diagnosis was 30 years ago however, and had she been euthanized then, or a few years subsequently, she'd have missed out on the 30 or so years of productive life she's had since, along with the landmark events that have happened in that time, like attending her kids weddings, or becoming a grandmother, to name just two things. Her condition has certainly made her life more difficult at times, and the initial prognosis was very poor, but with good care and a good outlook on life she prevailed - and that's infinitely better than just letting the state put you down.
jewmas@reddit
And i watched my father in law slowly waste away and scream in pain for the last months of his life. Before M.A.I.D existed.
FuckRedditIsLame@reddit
There absolutely have been pretty well publicized cases of people with no intention of dying being counseled to consider death - this is problematic. There's also the fact that when your treating doctor starts suggesting euthanasia, and there are very very low bars to qualify for this, then that is going to have an effect.
I don't know your father in law's condition, perhaps he was someone who genuinely would have benefited from less months of life, or perhaps he simply didn't receive the best care to manage his condition as he reached the end - and if he was experiencing unmanaged pain as it sounds like from your description, then that would absolutely be the case. In any case, MAID was responsible for 5% of Canada's deaths last year alone... and as of next year, simply being mentally ill will become a fully qualifying condition - there's something badly wrong with what's happening.
jewmas@reddit
First of all give me a source on those well documented cases. Second he had terminal inoperable bile duct cancer. He was on fentanyl patch and injections and was either sleeping or screaming in pain. Believe me it was managed his organs and blood were literally just dying and his final weeks were just torture. If he wanted to communicate or figure anything out he had to be off the drugs for a bit because he couldn't really communicate while he was on them. Between doses he would literally tell us "kill me". Third. You say 5% of all deaths. THOSE PEOPLE WERE TERMINAL. So yeah you say a number and act like its insane. But those deaths aren't BECAUSE of maid. They're because of their diseases. This way they just didnt have to spend their last moments suffering. But you would rather he stay alive and starve or be poisoned by his own blood that wasnt being cleaned by his liver anymore?
Proof_Order1860@reddit (OP)
It's being prescribed for depression, imbecile
Jurjinimo@reddit
Let's see the proof on that one
IcyPride2973@reddit
Hey, no misinformation on my racism subreddit.
It’s not being used for that, but there is a case that a woman is trying to get through the courts stating that as a reason.
The bill has had 3 extensions now for the exclusion of depression and mental illness as a reason. The original bill allows for it, but is on hold now until 2027 for an additional vote.
Bill C-62 is the 3rd delay bill.
jewmas@reddit
Its not avaliable for only mental illness fuckwit
NOChiRo@reddit
"the line to your specific treatment is 9 months long but we can kill you right now to avoid the pain".
Jardinesky@reddit
Here's the actual report.
Basically there's two categories: terminal and suffering horribly but won't die right away. Of that 16,499 number, 15,767 were terminal. So over 95% of MAID cases were people dying of something (Over 10,000 of those were cancer) and choosing to skip over the last chunk of suffering.
The second category is 732 people. About half of that was neurological conditions. So stuff like Parkinson's, ALS, Dementia, and Multiple Sclerosis. These people apply ahead of time, knowing that they'll deteriorate past the point where they want to keep on keeping on.
I don't know about you, but if I was dying of cancer, I'd at least like the option to get off Mr Bone's Wild Ride. I don't know if I'd take it, but it's nice to know I can choose to if I want.
Supremely_Zesty@reddit
It's basically being unplugged from life support with a complementary shot of morphine to make the ride smoother. Nobody is being tossed in a wood chipper because they have the big sad. It has to be approved by doctors and basically it's only for people who are already dying. Stuff like stage 4 cancer, debilitating strokes and other serious diseases and injuries with no hope for recoy
Hearasongofuranus@reddit
25k people per year tho?
Supremely_Zesty@reddit
yeah? People die. Those dying on the hospital bed have access to it. It's not surprising to me at all. You're given the option of rotting away in the hospital or taking the shorter route surrounded by your loved ones on the day of your choice. They can't force you to use it. It's essentially the choice between a morphine shot and going to sleep painlessly or passing away a few painful weeks later as you slip in and out of consciousness waiting for the reaper. Many are in pain and tired and take the simpler route. I can't blame them. When I'm old and decrepit, possibly demented, I'll likely have an advocate provide the same thing for me too.
Wagosh@reddit
Those people would have died anyway. That's why they requested assisted suicide and got it .
Hearasongofuranus@reddit
My brother we're all gonna die anyway.
jungleass98@reddit
Not all from a terminal disease and not all with zero quality of life. They aren't just giving away state sanctioned suicide to anyone. But even if they were who gives a fuck. If you want to die I think it is your right. Even if it's just a bad case of the sads. It's their life. Most of these people want to die with some level of dignity or self autonomy before their disease progresses and strips them of that. I dont want to be strapped to a machine until it just cant keep me breathing any longer. Staring out of a window from your starilized white room at the parking lot until your organs fail is a pretty bleak life
Supremely_Zesty@reddit
Exactly so why not go out painlessly with dignity instead of withering away as a brain-dead husk on 24/7 life support but still technically "alive"
Captain_Chorm@reddit
It’s for the terminally-ill
Reynarok@reddit
Or when a wheelchair ramp would be inconvenient
ArtfulBroom@reddit
Tbf whilst this is extremely grim, I sincerely hope that the majority of these people are the ones who make the last 3 months of their life a $100k hospital fee on top of their $50k funeral, but I kinda think those people are too selfish to consider suicide
Desperate_Golf7634@reddit
Guess its their solution to cutting healthcare spending.
jungleass98@reddit
Two birds and all that
bannabananabanna@reddit
so worse than the cough
Milsurp_Seeker@reddit
It’s almost like you can google “woman offered assisted suicide” and see a depressed woman and a 84-year old woman with BACK PAIN being offered death as a medical response.
Kathrin Mentler and Mirriam Lancaster.
They just offer that shit like American doctors offer opioids.
sneak_man@reddit
It's almost like you are eating up media fear mongering slop. Two people being offered assisted suicide as an option for whatever isn't as insane as you're trying to make it out to be. Weren't 95% cases terminal illnesses? Want to talk about that buddy?
Milsurp_Seeker@reddit
Buzzwords.
“Hey you’re sad and you cracked a bone in your spine that can be fixed by pain management and bedrest. Have you both considered killing yourself?”
I’m not even taking about terminal cases. Those make sense. People being offered to be put down over very minor issues is a real problem.
pVom@reddit
I really think you're downplaying her condition. Back pain is really really shit. It's extremely painful plus she's 84, even many young people never really recover from a bad back injury. My stepmom was in her late 30s and bedridden for 9 months and was in sever pain the entire time, despite being doped up to her eyeballs. Then she had to go through withdrawal from opiates. Even now she has issues 20 years later.
I knew a girl who had a back injury car accident in her 20s and still had chronic pain years later and lost her full range of motion.
Like it's really, really shit, I wouldn't blame anyone already in the late stages of their life deciding not to go through that.
sneak_man@reddit
😭 what buzzword? Fear mongering slop? So buzzwords make me wrong?
That's not what it's like, for the mast majority of cases, and again, you're just reading what other contrarians wrote about it instead of actually looking into it. Not all pain can be fixed with just like opioids and rest. Do you know a single thing at all about back pain? You can barely injure it and it'll feel like the worst pain you've ever felt. Having that on top of probably several other health issues creates the case for it to be an available option. Same goes for mentally ill people. If you would actually read about it, you'd know for a fact that this is not just like a plan B it's the last option once you've exhausted all others. This all just stems from a fundamental lack of understanding when it comes to medical practice and zero motivation or effort into learning more about it
FuckRedditIsLame@reddit
If you're suggesting that MAID isn't the most common way to end up dead in Canada, you're right. If you're suggesting that it isn't appallingly overused and far too easy to qualify for, you're wrong and the pretty horrifying statistics that are starting to come in back that up.
hEdHntr_@reddit
dude i WISH it was that easy, i'd be in canada by now if it was. pretty big market for cheap barbiturates.
FuckRedditIsLame@reddit
To qualify you just need to be eligible for Canadian public healthcare, subjectively experience 'enduring, intolerable physical or psychological suffering', and have 2 doctors or nurses(!) sign your paperwork and that's it, you're good to go. And as of next year mental illness alone will become a qualifying factor.
sneak_man@reddit
Why are you acting like enduring intolerable physical or psychological suffering isn't a huge hurdle for most of the population. I have yet to see any significant evidence that it's overused beyond people just claiming that it is. The more I actually read about it the more it makes sense to at least have the option instead of playing into this fear mongering stuff
ahamel13@reddit
It's becoming a lot more common and the stories of people who are being pressured into it are alarming.
sneak_man@reddit
It's an option, it has it's upsides and it has its downsides. I doubt that it's being pressured on a broad scale, but open to whatever info you have
hEdHntr_@reddit
i wish it was as unregulated as people say, i'd head over in a heartbeat
Skafandra206@reddit
Well, that's exactly why it can't be as unregulated as people say
hEdHntr_@reddit
i mean im not exactly doing much for the public good lmao. many who have severe mental illness are the same
Skafandra206@reddit
This will come off as insensitive, but even as just a consumer, you are more useful alive than dead for society. I'm not fully on board with it, but I can understand why most societies had, and still have, some way of frowning upon or legally punish suicide.
LegOfLamb89@reddit
Yeah as it stands if you lose your faculties to dementia or alzheimers you're forced to die of those diseases, because you can't consent to MAID. You should be able to have a standing order/dnr type thing in these cases.
IcyPride2973@reddit
That’s how it’s currently set up, but the original bill which has now had 3 separate extensions banning the use of it by citing depression and mental illness.
Eventually it won’t pass, and you’ll literally be told to krill yourself because you are sad.
That’s the original bill.
MisfitActual0311@reddit
Enjoy your death pod retirement plan. Do you think they'll allow you to hit 60 before they deem you a burden to the state?
sln1337@reddit
they just should have blew up that fucking thing.
droogvertical@reddit
The analogy is hard to miss