Finding a Beneficiary
Posted by Cutaway2AZ@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 40 comments
So I’ve been called smart my whole life by everyone who knows me and this mixed with substance & alcohol abuse and generally being “not right” means I have meandered through life on a poorly disciplined track and yet still seem to ended up in my late fifties and doing reasonably ok, by which I mean I have a house that might be worth about 400k and a 401k/ira worth perhaps twice that (for now) along with no debt except for 150k mortgage.
Ok so not awful despite everything I’ve tried to do to screw things up, and there’s obviously only me because I don’t have any family and I don’t really have any friends either.
But I’m somewhat friendly with a young couple in of about 30 who live nearby and have a 2-year old child. I was thinking maybe I would make them my beneficiaries in some way as I currently have no will.
How would YOU do this? Say something like “for the benefit of the children of x & y”? Or set up a trust? Or make it education-based somehow? Or just mention the parents and have done, quit trying to control people?
Elliott2030@reddit
Keep in mind that you will probably live another 20+ years and that young couple might move away or otherwise exit your life.
Make your will as you see fit (of course), but don't tell them about it because in 10 years you might change your mind and if they saw you as how their kid was going to go to college and didn't make their own arrangements, it could get unpleasant.
When the kid is 16 and they're still your chosen family? Absolutely tell them, but not before. Time has a way of changing things in ways you can't imagine.
Cutaway2AZ@reddit (OP)
Yep, makes perfect sense. I kinda hope i’ll be around for a bit as I seem to have finally gotten my shit together a bit I might actually enjoy things for a bit. Also very good point. Time passes and things change, and making promises for far in the future is a bad idea, i have learned. On the other hand, I might drop dead tomorrow. I think my main purpose really is to somehow make sure that the fucking hospitals don’t just take everything.
Ok-Entertainment5045@reddit
You need a will otherwise everything will go to the state
JessieColt@reddit
Personally? I would find out about setting up a Scholarship Trust for the child that would only trigger/go into affect upon your death.
Anything of value you owned would be sold off and those funds, along with any cash you still have when you died, after your estate was settled, would then be used to fund help the Trust.
In the mean time, you might be able to set up the Trust now, and add some funds to it like a someone would for a 529 for their own kids. Just a small amount of money every month so that the Trust remains active and the funds slowly growing, pending the bulk of the funds being added to the trust when you die.
Since a Scholarship Trust is set up to fund the education of a selected group of people, you might be able to set it up so that the child's education is funded and if there are any funds remaining in the trust then any children that they have are also able to use the funds in the trust for their own education as well.
Contact an Estate Planning attorney who can also handle Charitable Trusts and discuss your options with them if you want to do something like that.
Prize_Equivalent@reddit
That is awesome and will be such a blessing to leave!
DoctorChimpBoy@reddit
Anything in a will without direct beneficiaries goes through probate. It's a mess.
Just name them as direct beneficiaries on your bank or financial accounts. You'll have to pay a lawyer to notify them and provide death certificates for claims when you die. Every company steals dead people's assets unless someone specifically claims those assets.
You would need a trust if you want to make sure the kid's college gets paid for without parent interference. 529's are owned by adults and they can just take the money anytime they want. I don't like the idea of dead people controlling others with their money, but in a few exceptions it's warranted.
CaChica@reddit
I’m all about charitable donation. But I think you leaving it to the family would have incredibly huge impact. I’d spend a little to meet with the lawyer and structure properly. Ask around or Google for a good estate attorney in your area.
I am proud that you have made up this far in life. We all have our paths. They are all an adventure, for sure.
Take care
MissMurderpants@reddit
I have friends doing this. My d ac poised and I are thinking of setting up a scholarship fund in an area we feel could use it.
ZeroCalorieCoffee@reddit
I’ve heard of these situations before … and wow, what a gift you are leaving behind.
HermioneMarch@reddit
You will have to tell the parents if you want to do this because you will need to include full names, birthdates. Social.
Or you could give it to a charity in tgeir honor.
Sudden_Idea9384@reddit
I agree. Go to Naela.org
MindFluffy5906@reddit
Please see an estate planning attorney. They can help with a trusted for your assets, Power of Attorney, Durable Medical Power of Attorney, set up choices related to medical care should you become incapacitated. You want to make those choice, not someone else. You can also designate fiduciaries to act as your POA and follow your trust wishes and distributions as per your instructions, which will take the emotional toll off of anyone you may be close to in the future. Good luck OP!
IntrepidElevator4313@reddit
I would just do it. Don’t ask them. Don’t tell them. Just let it be a nice little surprise after you’re gone. A final good deed.
Pattycakes1966@reddit
I wouldn’t tell them. If you want to do it then keep it to yourself.
Philosopher2670@reddit
For any retirement accounts, you can name and change beneficiaries fairly easily. There should be instructions of their web pages.
For other financial accounts, you can set up "Pay on Death" (POD) or "Transfer on Death" (TOD). Ask at your bank about those.
For the house, you might need to put that in your will, so you should get legal advice for that. Wills are also harder to change that the other 2 cases above. Do not name a minor as a beneficiary without legal advice, as it can create difficulties in some circumstances.
Cutaway2AZ@reddit (OP)
Helpful, thank you
jajsmother@reddit
I was in a really bad car accident and there was a witness who saved my life. I have added her as a partial beneficiary to various accounts, I had to include her birth date during the process. For a house you would need a will.
They do not have to be informed of the things, it's perfectly fine to give someone an unexpected windfall. When the time comes it will be life-changing for my person,I get emotional thinking about it. I don't have an exceptional amount but it would be enough for a decent home and a little left over.
NEVAR1971@reddit
I see your heart is in the right place which I highly respect! I guess the best advice I can give you is:: just do what you feel is the right thing. It really doesn't matter so much "who" you help just as long as you help "someone".
Cutaway2AZ@reddit (OP)
I think this is right
RealCrazySwordGirl@reddit
Whatever you do, don't tell them about it. You don't want them to feel indebted or weird around you. If some lovely older person told me that he was bequeathing his shit to me, i would be very uncomfortable going forth
eclectic-up-north@reddit
I suggest: 1, having a conversation with a family lawyer. Tell the lawyer what you want to do. 2, talking to the parents over coffee in a relaxed situation with the kids in another room. 3, Find local charities that whose work you support. 4, Head back to the lawyer and get this /properly/ written up. I would make your lawyer's office your executor.
Finally, well done keeping it "together enough". "Not right" can be enormously difficult to deal with, and you did.
MaximumJones@reddit
Yeah, screw all those charities that literally save lives, feed starving people, provide homes for people living on the street...
Instead you should leave all your money to some random couple down the street you barely know and who probably do not give two shits about you.
Murky_Possibility_68@reddit
Possibly without telling the parents of a 2 year old . (Op, I find that legally improbable at best.)
Twisty12223@reddit
It's their money to give to who they want. But whatever.
Cutaway2AZ@reddit (OP)
So what’s the difference between? Those who benefit from charities don’t care about me - is that relevant? These people are getting by but some cash would really help them get ahead. Doesn’t seem to me like either one is morally better than the other
-lousyd@reddit
Does this young couple know this? Are they okay with this idea?
CountryMaleficent439@reddit
I would not tell people they are in my will.
Cutaway2AZ@reddit (OP)
Ah, so this is possibly the most important question I guess and definitely one I would ask I think, before taking any action. I think it might make some people uncomfortable or make them feel obligated or whatever I don’t know. But then if I don’t tell them then i’ll be dead anyway so-who cares? Also isn’t there a trope where a mysterious or unexpected inheritance changes a life? Great Expectations? It’s not billions anyway. Probably in a few years it’ll only cover a dozen eggs.
Sensitive-Rip-8005@reddit
It’s your money and have a right to do with it whatever you want. I just suggest that you revisit it at least yearly or with any major events. I’m in a similar situation.
I have a combination of charities and people listed as be beneficiaries. When I meet with my financial advisor, they ask if I have any changes to the beneficiaries. I usually semi-joke that no one has pissed me off so all is well. Though I have removed people that I am no longer in contact/cut from my life.
Life changes, people change.
Reader47b@reddit
If you want to be specific about how the money is used, you will need a lawyer, and full legal names and birthdates. You can also leave your money to charity - if there are specific charities you like. There are many ways to do that.
Agent7619@reddit
Anyone but letting it surrender to the state
Perfect-Essay-5210@reddit
What a life changing event for those children. Stipulating that the money is for their education or job training will give them a head start on a debt-free future.
JasminJaded@reddit
I’d hire a lawyer to write it. They can tell you if a will is good enough or if a trust is ideal. I think if they’re worth willing the money to, they’re worth deciding how to spend it. Perhaps include a line saying it’s for the benefit of the family’s continued wellbeing or some such.
AshDenver@reddit
I’m doing charities and just straight-up the parents of the minor children. When they come of age, I’m updating to the kids directly.
shawshank1969@reddit
Ask your attorney, but I think you can set up a trust for your assets and then list the trust’s beneficiaries in your will.
gumdrop83@reddit
This may very well be different depending on where you live. I went to a presentation by an attorney in my area not long ago, and it was interesting how things differ by area.
This is one of those questions where getting a lawyer’s advice is critical
Mindless-Baker-7757@reddit
You need a will. You can log into your 401k website and list them as beneficiaries today. A lawyer may tell you to setup a trust for the kid that they can use for education and then after they are 21yo they just get the money.
josephus_jones@reddit
You could do what I did. Get clean and sober (going on 6 years now), start dating a sober woman in her early 40's, get pregnant together and start your new life with a clear head and someone to enjoy the rest of what you have with your family and your new life. If that isn't an option, go with a trust. Lol
josephus_jones@reddit
A 529 in the kids name is tax free and will set get education up in its entirety. But make sure there's a beneficiary to that account when it's being drawn up. You can still do that and a trust.
Cookiecakes71@reddit
This is very kind of you. First, I would recommend creating a will. You can name them in your will.