“Gifted” Kids program

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rengregory@reddit

Looking back, my school had two "gifted" programs, quest and omnibus, and I was in both. To this day, I'm not sure which was gifted and which was special. Either way, I did OK in high school and college, and struggled to learn how to navigate effectively until meeting exceptional mentors in my 30s.

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mysocalledmayhem@reddit

I’m also incapable of finding joy in anything unless I’m immediately good at it, and perfectionism is paralyzing my from ever trying new things 💁🏼‍♀️

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PhoneJazz@reddit

This, I don’t understand how people can find satisfaction in a “challenging” job. I want a boring, routine job that I can do in my sleep so that I don’t have to worry about making mistakes and getting fired.

I’ll take my “challenges” in the form of tabletop gaming and online games and puzzles.

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_R_A_@reddit

There needs to be a a middle ground between challenging enough to be stimulating but easy enough to be accomplishable.

It's a brutal Goldilocks zone.

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PossibleBluejay4498@reddit

Ah yes, the Csíkszentmihályi "Flow state".

Really enjoyed reading his book on Creativity.

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NewsgramLady@reddit

Some people like conquering things and know that being challenged is a path to growth.

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More-read-than-eddit@reddit

Yeah I don’t think being challenged with annoying work issues is a path to personal growth

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NewsgramLady@reddit

Anything that gets you out of your comfort zone contributes to personal growth.

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thelaineybelle@reddit

Even if not for growth, I like my work to be busy and challenging bc otherwise my dang brain will run amok from lack of stimulation.

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MetaPhalanges@reddit

In general, I think our brains are supposed to run amok to some extent. We aren't naturally wired to do any one activity for 8 hours straight, not even sleep.

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ijustsailedaway@reddit

Yeah, that’s definitely not the same thing. I personally need my job to have either the crushing threat of deadlines or something interesting to work on or I can’t function. But I am super anti-grind mindset.

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Puzzleheaded_War6102@reddit

Sir this is a Wendy’s

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COMMENT0R_3000@reddit

I thought this for years until I got on some good adhd meds lol

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FoofaFighters@reddit

I'm a creature of routine by default but the daily routine of dealing with the various challenges at my job gives me satisfaction, if that makes sense.

The reason is, I spent 20 years working on my feet in a gigantic, loud carpet factory and now have an office job in a far quieter work environment, and the transition would have been even tougher had my new job been strictly sitting in my little office doing menial computer work. ADHD and (likely but undiagnosed) autism mean i get bored really quickly, lol.

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TlMEGH0ST@reddit

Ooh same. My friends were trying to teach me a new game (Rummikub), I was getting so frustrated that I wasn’t getting it immediately and they were like “it’s supposed to be fun. we’re supposed to be having fun” but I only like things I’m good at!

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JerriBlankStare@reddit

and they were like “it’s supposed to be fun. we’re supposed to be having fun”

Oh this would have made me even angrier! 🤬😤😅

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arcxjo@reddit

Isn't that just 500 but with tiles instead of cards?

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disappointedCoati@reddit

That game is so addictive

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mysocalledmayhem@reddit

Well well well, I know what I will try to learn today instead of doing the homework I’m supposed to

(yeah, it’s a mindfuck being back in school.)

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really_isnt_me@reddit

Rummikub is seriously one of the best games I’ve ever played! The first 2-3 times I was clueless and felt like giving up, but once you start to get the hang of it, it’s soooo fun.

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fruity_oaty_bars@reddit

I feel this so hard, but I downloaded Duolingo and it's kind of fun learning a new language. I definitely sucked at first, but now I understand way more than I ever did.

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mysocalledmayhem@reddit

I’m on day 403 of my DuoLingo!

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After_Match_5165@reddit

I'm in the same job I started when I was 20 because I was good at it.

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raikougal@reddit

Yes. Exactly this. Once an artist friend of mine got all up in my face about trying sculpting and I was like "Why would I do anything I know I'm not gonna be good at?" because I have tried it before and guess what? I suck!

And ooh boy does it piss off anyone when I say "I know my limits." or "No, I don't want to." or, "Maybe you can."

I wasn't actually in gifted, but they wanted to put me there. I skipped that, but just narrowly cuz I transferred from public into private school. Private school didn't have gifted programs back then but the teachers got terribly mad at me because I could usually outsmart them and they came for me lots of times. Not to mention, ugh, I could read. Like really read. And even though at the beginning of the year the teacher said reading aloud was optional, after she heard me read for the first time she MADE me read EVERY FUCKING TIME SHE CALLED ON ME. God damn I hate that bitch to this day.

There was also an incident at this school that caused me to be homeschooled, not education related, rather, a whole entire discrimination case in case anyone wants to ever heard that story.

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Complex-Canary7927@reddit

Omg this just turned on a lightbulb for me. I really struggle to enjoy something if I’m not good at it.

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Express_Signal_8828@reddit

It's interesting to think why some of us ended up like that and others not. I was a gifted kid --not in gifted class since those did not exist in my home conurry, but skipped a grade and there were expectations (as well as a constant undercurrent of tall-poppy-syndrome and "she will fail when put in the real world").

I never failed and have exactly the life I wanted. No big titles next to my name but a job I (sometimes) enjoy with financial stability and the kind of freedom I dreamed of. And I seek my challenges outside of work, in things I'm objectively terrible at: running, learning an instrument. But funnily, because I have zero natural talent at those things, the finished race or the learned song are possibly the things I'm proudest of.

I do have a competitive side and chronic insecurities, but still enjoy those challenges I get to choose.

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Moxielilly@reddit

I get this. I was in the “gifted” program and I was never that anxious about school. I procrastinate too much, so sometimes I would work myself into a frenzy over maybe not completing a paper or project in time, but mostly I figured out pretty early on that whether or not I was actually “smart,” I was really good at taking tests and knowing what answers they wanted from me. That came easy so I never worried about it much, but it also never meant much. It was just a given. I worried constantly over social interactions and various extra curriculars, the things that did not come naturally to me at all. And I too have taking up running and other hobbies as an adult that I am objectively terrible at, but any achievements I’ve made in those areas are the ones I remember and feel good about. I never cared when I got straight As or high standardized test scores. I’d already been told that was the expectation for me, and I met expectations, and it was fine, but I didn’t feel any real sense of achievement until I tried things that I didn’t already know if I’d be good at them, then failed for awhile and slowly got a little better. That is a much more satisfying process, but it took me until adulthood to realize it.

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sweet_pickles12@reddit

Did I write this in a fugue state?

I got the highest ACT score in my grade… outscored our valedictorian my multiple points… I was one of the weirdos at my school so everyone was like “wow congrats” in this shocked tone. I was like… yeah, I guessed on a lot of these questions guys.

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JennJoy77@reddit

I was extremely weird in high school, and everyone reacted like "uhhh - YOU? Really?" whenever I achieved something notable - honors all-state choir 1st chair soprano, National Merit Finalist, etc. - some teachers even got super pissed off, like it made them look bad that a student they hadn't cultivated or supported (and in some cases had actively treated like dirt) had done these things to spite them.

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spatter_cone@reddit

They tried to put me in special ed from kindergarten-3rd grade and then something just clicked for me and I got tapped for the gifted program in 5th grade. It was confusing to be told you’re one of the dumb kids to end up being one of the smart ones, I never got over that imposter syndrome. I ended up working a smart people job but all I’d rather do is fish, hike and play in the mountains. So I work to be able to do that.

Anywho, I got the ADHD for sure. I’m in my early 40s now and I’m having to go back on meds as my symptoms are suddenly no joke. My doc says perimenopause will do that to some women. I’m grateful that I’m not self medicating with booze anymore so that’s a win I’ll take.

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IceXence@reddit

I used to be a gifted child, but everyone was cool with it and no one ever pressured me to do anything. I pressured myself into getting top grades and the one time I had a poor one (it happens to everyone even gifted kids), I developped anxiety. I felt I needed to be this good otherwise, I was worthless.

In the same years, I also realized I was in poor health, struggling to climb a few stairs without panting. I told myself a 19 years old ought to be able to climb a few stairs and I had always admired athletic people... So I took a subscription to the gym and I started my real journey.

It took me 6 months to manage to run 15 consecutive minutes on the treadmill at a pace barely faster than walking. 6 months of getting on that cursed threadmill and... utterly failling at meeting my goal.

Today, I've just gotten back from my 22km long slow run. I have ran half-marathon and the marathon too. Everyone thinks I am athletic and I am known for being "the fit one".

Still, to this day learning how to run remains one of the hardest thing I ever done and it did wonder to my mental health. I needed to learn how to fail at something and bounce back. It also remains the thing I am the proudest of.

Now, I genuially believe running cures most ailments.

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LilMushboom@reddit

same 🫠

The second you are labeled "gifted" adults would get pissed off if you ever WEREN'T immediately perfect at anything. Putting that expectation on an elementary school kid is insane in hindsight but that's just how it was back then.

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blitz-em@reddit

I used to be a perfectionist, then I finally accepted that perfect was the enemy of done. Now I get done with things a lot faster and no one ever complains it's not perfect 🤷‍♂️

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Aware_Policy_9174@reddit

I had a soccer coach who would say “good enough is the enemy of excellence” but I changed it to “perfection is the enemy of progress” when I started doing therapy and realized how toxic that thought pattern was.

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blitz-em@reddit

That seems to work for coaches in sports, but that's only because in sports there can only be one champion, and everyone else is a loser. In life, anyone can be a champion, and it doesn't take perfection. The master has failed more times than the novice has attempted.

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mysocalledmayhem@reddit

I’ve been trying to frame things in terms of grades, since that clearly brought me a sense of accomplishment.

In the scheme of things, no one is doing their A level work at all times all day everyday. We just aren’t. Regardless of how greeeeat I think I am or what a martyr I’ve hyped myself up to be (that’s sarcasm, kinda), I’m just average. C grades are average. Average is ok. Average is not bad. Average still passes. Average is….life.

Just because I came up to think “if it’s not an A, I may as well be failing,” I’m truly bummed at what I’ve missed out on (and still am) just because I’m scared to admit….i am sometimes just “okay.”

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therealpopkiller@reddit

Good lord it’s like you Apple+C’d my brain

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lobsterbandito@reddit

Oh hi, did I write this?

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Busy_Fly8068@reddit

This is because you view struggling as existential annihilation. The process is literally an affront to your identity. And, if “being good at stuff” is a learned defense to keep you safe, you have to try EMDR.

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mysocalledmayhem@reddit

Oooooo I have been interested in it. CBT has done wonders for processing why I think the way I do (all or nothing, catastrophizing) but I would like to try some alternate methods.

You summed it up perfectly. “An affront to [my] identity.” Goddamn, that is it.

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Busy_Fly8068@reddit

Oh, you have to try it. CBT teaches you to argue with your reflexes. That’s a tough road to go.

If you get a flood of emotion upon facing a challenge, it is cold comfort to think, “welp, there it is again. No need to feel this way, this is my response to blah blah blah”. It’s exhausting and distracting. Who cares if you better understand your thoughts — it doesn’t help!

EMDR interrupts the signal in the first place. You can’t hold the terror of the emotional flood and watch the lights or follow your doc’s finger around. When it works, the emotional distress literally disintegrates in real time. That gives your body a data point.

It isn’t magic but it made a difference when traditional therapy (and meds!) didn’t do much at all.

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Odd_Soil_8998@reddit

I used to be this way. Now I'm kind of the opposite -- I have a lot of fun when I suck at something and can just screw around. It's when I start to get good that it becomes frustrating. Once I start caring whether I succeed it kinda sucks the joy out of things.

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madsci@reddit

I had a girlfriend who loved board games and card games but I struggle to jump into a game and just have fun without getting all caught up in figuring out the optimal strategy.

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mysocalledmayhem@reddit

I feel that.

The poker craze of the mid 2000s/2010s really sucked the fun out of socializing with certain friends for a good long while.

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Thamnophis660@reddit

I'm similar to this, unless most steps to learning something new is enjoyable to me, I get frustrated and don't see the point. Enjoyable challenges, not mostly frustrating challenges or I'm out.

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cat_at_the_keyboard@reddit

Same 😔

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spatter_cone@reddit

Same here, reading these comments makes me feel so much better. I struggle with new things but I tell myself that everything I enjoy was once a new thing that I just got good at. Fly fishing will always be one of the loves of my life because it’s a constant humbling and learning process that helps remind me of this.

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AnteaterCritical9168@reddit

YES. 100%

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80s_angel@reddit

I’m also incapable of finding joy in anything unless I’m immediately good at it

Are you me?!
But seriously I’m the same way. I’m trying to push past it but it’s hard. 😩
I keep reminding myself that I won’t be good at everything but practice makes perfect and I can’t improve if I give up.

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xMyDixieWreckedx@reddit

Exact same.

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Imaginary-Pain9598@reddit

Twins.

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Turbulent_Ad9508@reddit

Scored in the 99% of that test in 3rd grade. Was moved out to challenge classes in the portables.

Had a good run in my 30s. Burned out and mental illness took over.

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Entropy907@reddit

Challenge in the portables? Pierce County, WA by any chance?

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Turbulent_Ad9508@reddit

Omaha, Nebraska

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JDz84@reddit

I can smash a tangram, tho…

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shrimpcreole@reddit

Guess there really was a whole cohort of us banished to the portable classrooms for chunks of the week, learning about logic puzzles, origami, and intro to computer coding? I'm functional but still failing to "meet potential".

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McFly1986@reddit

Malcolm in the Middle was pretty accurate

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bluesun_geo@reddit

My school’s portables were for the “boom boom” classes where they hid the disabled, pregnant, low IQ etc.

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therealskittlepoop@reddit

Good lord, I was associating this post with elementary school & that threw me a bit 😆

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therealskittlepoop@reddit

Ha I still do the logic puzzles (and others, been buying those penny press pubs for years lol)

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Down-In-The-Weeds@reddit

Same. I have definitely not lived up to any potential 😞

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Jane__Delawney@reddit

My mental illness started right around the time I was graduating college (bipolar usually hits between 18-22). I truly had so much potential, but instead the last 20+ years have just been chaos, heartbreak, and missed opportunities. My friends in those classes with me did not end up with mental illness and have gone really far, I’m so proud of them.

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lizzibizzy@reddit

I have had a similar trajectory… lots of highs and lows. Currently, I’m on my last month of mood stabilizers after 20 years. Started tapering in February. A lot of females were diagnosed with bipolar disorder decades ago but it’s actually ADHD & ASD. Not everyone, but it’s being seen a lot more. It’s amazing how much clearer I think now lowering the mood stabilizers and taking two non-stimulants for my ADHD and continued therapy.

Also, I’m changing careers again (my degree is basically useless) to avoid burnout for the millionth time. Going back to school to get in a career where I can choose when I want to work. Also, have been working on starting my own business. Basically, finding ways to make money without one, full time job where I have little autonomy because I’ve realized that’s where my problematic cycle starts.

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Jane__Delawney@reddit

Oh wow! I feel seen for sure. My doctors have suggested I likely have AuDHD but I haven’t looked into it further, however it makes a lot of sense. I had no idea there were non-stimulant meds either, which has been a big reason I’ve just stayed on what I’ve been on. Thanks for that info friend, maybe it’s time to start going down another path

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lizzibizzy@reddit

Yeah. I didn’t do well with stimulants. It takes a while to build up in your system. One makes me less agitated and things easier to deal with in real-time. The other helps with my executive disfunction and memory. Perimenopause really skyrocketed my ADHD issues.

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Jane__Delawney@reddit

Oh my goodness, we are very alike! Though I’ve gone into almost total isolation mode

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Reasonable-Wave8093@reddit

hugs

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therealskittlepoop@reddit

Hello. Are you me in my 20s? There was a time I had like 20k in the bank (a LOT back then lol), a home in a hoity toity area, a bmw I special ordered —funny how none of it was enough for inner peace lol

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arcxjo@reddit

They gave us the test in kindergarten and 3 of us "passed". 2 of them got sent to a different school, but my parents thought I needed to stay at the old losers' school for social purposes, instead of the one that the only 2 friends I had were now at.

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Archangel_Omega@reddit

Similar boat, but when I hit the burn out phase I turned into Wally from Dilbert and started "coasting on the coat-tails of my intellect" again as one of my favorite HS teachers phrased it. Started acting my pay-grade instead. Could I do better? Easily, but I've realized the pay bump want worth the effort. I phrase it as my "give a damn busted" and I've been content with that. This song has become my personal anthem at this point.

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Mcayenne@reddit

Ditto- and the crushing imposter syndrome for me.

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SubBass49Tees@reddit

Imposter syndrome, and burning through my actual work tasks so quickly that it looks like I'm just hanging out at times, but it's just that I'm THAT efficient at getting shit done.

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mom_bombadill@reddit

The portables! My advanced class was behind the stage curtain in the multipurpose room. After high achievement I lost my dad to cancer when I was fifteen, subsequent depression, alcohol abuse, squandered potential, now I have two beautiful kids and an okay job doing what I love

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floodums@reddit

Woah, my burn out happened in 11th grade when I got gf and became an actual burn out. I was laser focused on getting stoned and getting laid... I regret nothing.

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Cole_Townsend@reddit

OMG! I loved being the highest scoring student in the gifted program. I love enciting the envy and loathing of the other nerds: a perfect excuse to not talk to them. I made friends with the ostracized and "othered," and they tended to be better people. Of course, after two consecutive AP history exams, I lost my fucking mind and flunked out, and then kicked out of the gifted program.

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Eclectic_Paradox@reddit

🙋🏾‍♀️ and I wasn't diagnosed until I was 37 🥴

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JDz84@reddit

The more I learn about adult ADHD and autism in females, the more convinced I am that I’m not completely neurotypical.

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McFly1986@reddit

Not me, I ended up with an engineering degree but after some stints in various roles I mostly do back office non-technical project management.

Probably a little under-promoted for my years of experience, but I don’t really have any regrets.

Latent anxiety did come out in my adult years (trouble sleeping and stuff like that, too many existential “what am I doing with my life?” type of questions) but it’s managed well.

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floodums@reddit

Yeah I was "gifted" until paying attention in class wasn't good enough and I had to start studying, which I simply couldn't do.

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McFly1986@reddit

This happened to me in middle school… just early enough to light a fire under me

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KellyAnn3106@reddit

Same. I was reading at 3, scoring perfect on the standardized tests in school, and labeled gifted. I rarely studied or did homework because I didn't need to. I got my ass handed to me in college because I had no discipline or study skills.

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okieboat@reddit

I had to join the military after starting college with basically a full ride and then achieving a whopping 2.0 after 4 years and 4 different majors. I had 0 study skills and 0 discipline regarding school. Thankfully it worked for the most part. Was able to go back and college was easy. Started to think that maybe the PROMISE group I was a part of in elementary school wasn't bullshit. Now....now it's just bad.

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Opposite-Peak5020@reddit

hello, twin!

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3652@reddit

I feel this. I have a genius level iQ, and people think I’m joking when I say I’d give 30 iQ points in exchange for 30% better work ethic.

Being so smart you never have to study becomes a crutch. Might be HS, might be college or adult life but it will limit you.

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gilded_lady@reddit

Same to a smaller degree. When I finally studied what I loved (history) I aced shit no problem. Trying STEM was a hot mess for me. Then again I've also figured out since my visual/spatial thinking skills are crap but I also probably have some degree of a photographic memory too. That latter bit only clicked a year or two ago when a boss asked me about it and it was like .....ooooooh that makes sense 😂

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zoobernut@reddit

4.0 or above through highschool and promptly failed out of college here. Same issue. Funny thing was I took plenty of honors and AP classes but they were not the same as living alone and being solely responsible for myself.

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fictionalbandit@reddit

I was also in this club

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cybergandalf@reddit

This was me, to a “T”. I even graduated high school at 16, aced my SATs and got into the university. Crashed *hard* because I hadn’t built the skills needed to actually function in college. Ended up dropping out and not finishing my degree until I was in my 30s. I’m moderately successful today, but barely holding on to normalcy.

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floodums@reddit

I went into the trades.

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Astrazigniferi@reddit

Yep. Straight As in high school to straight Cs in any difficult subject in college. Took me until my junior year to figure shit out and I’ve never gone back for grad school.

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toomanyusesforaname@reddit

Lots of us didn't really learn how to learn until our 20s lol.

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whenveganscheat@reddit

I meet high functioning people on a daily basis that couldn't make a burrito without 4 YouTube videos and an excel sheet. Learning can't start without telling one's fear of failure to stfu

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Aware_Policy_9174@reddit

No I have to take a class before I consider myself knowledgeable enough to watch the YouTube video. Duh.

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whenveganscheat@reddit

Just buy the YouTube for Dummies book. It s super helpful if you can read words

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Bad-Moon-Rising@reddit

That's me too. Homework too. If papers had to be written outside of class, I either didn't do them or I half-assed them. Never did any assignments I was supposed to. I skated by on thin ice in high school and managed to have a B or C in classes. College was an absolute disaster for me. I had no idea how to study, how to manage my time, I couldn't make myself do anything I was supposed to. That stuff meant a lot more in college than it ever did in high school and I flunked out after 3 semesters.

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wiserTyou@reddit

I was the same way. I never had to study for math and some sciences, I'd just pay attention in class. Social sciences were relatively easy as well because they just required a quick skim of the material and some regurgitation of information.

Physics, chemistry, and biology destroyed me. Physics I found interesting enough to study, but every once of willpower I had couldn't motivate me to study biology.

Fortunately engineering students cheat like it's a hobby. I could always trade calculus homework for the rest.

I took a lot of history as well because I needed a nap during the day.

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floodums@reddit

Same. Trig and chemistry. Didn't make it to physics haha.

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nudave@reddit

Wait, you could pay attention in class?

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floodums@reddit

If it was interesting, yes.

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QuantumTerminator@reddit

I was in it. They would bus students from county schools to a dedicated section of a middle school. They called it, "The Center". It was every Friday. It was cool to be exposed to programming in BASIC on an Apple ][ a very long time ago.

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Illustrious-Yam-5837@reddit

I took the test and was an epic fail. Also I remember thinking "gifted" kids got presents 😆

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DrenAss@reddit

My parents were apparently told I should skip ahead a grade (my podunk school didn't have gifted classes). They declined, which I think was due to ignorance or not wanting to deal with the change.

Either way, I'm happy I didn't skip a grade. I turned out fine, and I'm dysfunctional for other totally separate reasons.

Also I'm not that smart. Traditional classroom learning and reading on my own was just really easy for me. I'm low key kinda stupid when it comes to lots of things. 😂

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droneupuk@reddit

Got the ADHD and -tism which explains the gifted underachiever label.

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unbalancedcentrifuge@reddit

Hello, fellow AuDHDer, who was labeled both gifted and a chronic underachiever.!!!

I would say lets have a convention but I would forget to ever rent the hall, fixate on how much people dont like me, and then circle around to randomly take apart my 3D printer at 2am and lose the pieces before going to bed and getting up late for work all while drowning in anxiety about work and also feeling guilty about my failure of an imaginary AuDHD convention.

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odar420@reddit

I have found my people.

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Aware_Policy_9174@reddit

There’s dozens of us!

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Appropriate_Ratio835@reddit

gif

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unbalancedcentrifuge@reddit

gif

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Brokelynne@reddit

🫡

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droneupuk@reddit

This is why I don't let myself get the 3 d printer.

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unbalancedcentrifuge@reddit

It is in my hobby graveyard at the moment....It has plenty of company.

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lizzibizzy@reddit

Oh, how the phrase, “Well? If you would only follow through with something…” triggers me. Yeah, I know. It annoys me too and I wish I could because I have so many great ideas, and the best intentions to.

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HighOnPoker@reddit

Still is, homie!

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amazonhelpless@reddit

Yo.

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InternationalRow1653@reddit

Me, I have now realized this. Haven't had it medically confirmed but I believe I am part of this group.

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illini02@reddit

I always see people say this.

This definitely was not the case for me.

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More-read-than-eddit@reddit

Yes gifted class seems to have been a more meaningful thing to others than it was to me (just a random prelude to honors and so by a different name)

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cubsandpink@reddit

Glad it’s not just me!

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Firebrat1978@reddit

Omg, thank you! I was identified as gifted in pre-k and was in the GT program for kindergarten through 8th, before going (along with a bunch of other GT kids) to a public college prep high school.

I’m still friends with a good number of them and, yeah, we’ve had our share of issues, but most of them are due to family situations or other typical kinds of things - not due to be gifted or in gifted classes. For the most part, we are all functioning fine - no massive crash outs or anything 🤷🏽‍♀️

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villentretenmerth88@reddit

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sanguineseraph@reddit

AuDHD and yep!

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arcee7416@reddit

I got the Generalized Anxiety Disorder and my sister got the ADHD 😑

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MaruSoto@reddit

Everyone in mine seemed kinda stuck up. Was still fun to get out of class though.

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Clean_Usual434@reddit

I’ve never put the 2 together, but it’s certainly possible.

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Serenity-V@reddit

Autism. Most of the kids in my program were, I now believe, high-functioning autists.

Our middle school Gifted teachers taught us, and the "resource" (i.e., diagnosed as learning disabled) kids. The accelerated-track teachers couldn't stand us.

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sarcasmexorcism@reddit

the kids in my gifted class were known to be the smartest ones. and then me. i couldn't/hated doing homework, couldn't/hated writing essays. i absolutely struggled through high school and a bit o college until i went back to earn a degree as a 40-something.

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brokenman82@reddit

I really was in gifted classes. I was not gifted. For some reason I’m the only person that noticed this until I got to high school and they put me in normal classes

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Jokierre@reddit

And the BIG problem with the shift to normal classes was that key lessons were missed along the way. Everyone else was ready for algebra while I completely missed learning basic measurements because I was looking for Carmen Sandiego in the gifted lab.

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nudave@reddit

Where in the world was she?

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Ex-PFC_WintergreenV4@reddit

She ransacked Pakistan
And ran a scam in Scandinavia

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StellaErrata@reddit

She put the “Miss” in misdemeanor When she stole the beans from Lima

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islipped83@reddit

They took us out of Reading for our gifted class. Turns out, I missed out on critical “reading comprehension” instruction and struggled bad in HS to catch up on the skills.

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wrldruler21@reddit

Keep your head up, gum shoe

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Upstairs_Giraffe_165@reddit

Facts!!!

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Sanchastayswoke@reddit

I had to pass tests to get into the gifted classes at school. You didn’t?

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brokenman82@reddit

They had everyone do some sort of test. I don’t remember everything about it, it was 3rd grade. But I remember it was a combination of things including drawing and what not. And yes when I mentioned drawing I know that sounds like what OP is describing. But the class I was in was literally called ‘gifted and talented elementary students’. We called it GATES. Always felt out of place in there

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Sanchastayswoke@reddit

Well then you are “gifted”. They don’t let you in if you don’t pass the test. What you were feeling is probably akin to imposter syndrome.

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IkidIgoat@reddit

I was too and now I think it’s literally just because books were a thing in my house. Not so much my genius as the education system under serving my peers.

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kevin_james_fan@reddit

This is me too!! I’m glad to hear there were more of us

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brokenman82@reddit

I will say most of the people in my classes (that I can remember anyway) were in fact ‘gifted’. I know of a few doctors and lawyers out of the group. But I also know some very successful people that were straight C students in school.

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kymreadsreddit@reddit

I tell my students this ALL the time. There is nothing wrong with getting C's if you are trying your best. You know kids with C's can do after high school? The same stuff the kids with A's and B's do. It's about your effort.

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Rare_Background8891@reddit

I just read something about how sometimes kids look like stellar students, but it’s just because they listen and do what they are supposed to do. They are compliant. I was that kid.

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Stinky--Whizzleteats@reddit

I think my gifted program was for low level troublemakers who could be easily distracted with a puzzle.

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Specialist-Leek8645@reddit

I think what they saw in me was a quiet academic kid but the reason I became fascinated by language and words was that I had so much trouble expressing myself and feeling understood clearly. I needed to know exactly the right word for every situation for OCD reasons. I tried harder than other kids in English class but I don't think I was gifted. I didn't get straight-As and I sucked at math. I was put in slightly advanced English but my school tended to mix students with the idea that they help each other. I was also in a class that was well below my level for that reason, like a peer tutor or aide, so I didn't learn too much that year. Felt more like on the job training haha. I also helped the old typing teacher become the new word processing teacher. I don't regret that experience and it makes sense for a small farming town that valued practical skills.

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ChalkDoxie@reddit

Tested into the gifted reading program but according to my parents I was bored by it, so they said no to it.

My kids (and some of their friends) have since tested into gifted programs for math and science (and cognitive ability whatever that means) and I believe they use those tests to make the classes and provide appropriate support and challenge in the classroom

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mischievous_misfit13@reddit

I was put in dumbdumb math in 4th grade and smarty pants math in 5th. That always made me laugh. But i also wonder if i had a better math teacher in dumbdumb class and thats why I excelled in 5th grade. I took higher up math classes until calculus or stats became too hard and dropped it. Diagnosed adhd at 40.

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Busy_Fly8068@reddit

C-PTSD is the working theory on my end.

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chronophage@reddit

Autism, ADHD-I, and cPTSD… I got the trio!

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ancilla1998@reddit

By our powers combined we are ... Barely Functioning Adult!

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Busy_Fly8068@reddit

Gooooooo Therapy!

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okieboat@reddit

What happens when the therapist laughs at you.

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Barnitch@reddit

All further proof I've had zero original experiences.

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lizzibizzy@reddit

What about the GAD? That’s a fun addition.

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QueenSqueee42@reddit

Same!

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yarnandwienerdogs@reddit

Same. I'm doing better now, but I realllly had to let go of other peoples' expectations of where I should be and what I should be doing. Once I realize my parents' expectations were totally about them and not actually about me, it was a bit easier. Same with teachers, and bosses, and coworkers, and extended family, and reddit commenters, and anyone else really.

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Exciting-Hedgehog944@reddit

Hello my people! My brother and my dad are also clearly ADHD ers but somehow it took a while to recognize me (female diagnosis sometimes sucks). Was in gifted “groups” and then finally the academically talented program all the way through school. Then a bunch of really bad things happened at home and now cPTSD as well. However miraculously I would be considered successful with graduate degree. I did burn out of my management career after having family because it was just too much. Still work full time, just individual contributor.

Now I am working hard because my child in young 5s is clearly textbook ADHD and not getting the support he needs because I suspect he will be labeled “gifted”, and there are children in his classroom with higher support needs. I am not waiting for bad crap to happen or for him to struggle. We are raising our concerns loudly and frequently and someone is going to listen. His (private) counselor is working with us to get the appropriate testing so he can get what he needs in full kindergarten next year because the school has not been very helpful.

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ferret96@reddit

ADHD and C-PTSD here as well, with a tiny overlap into Autism. Was in gifted classes from 1st thru beginning of 6th grade when I crashed out. Had a minor mental crash in my early 20s, then a big one in 2015. Recently got diagnosed with ADHD now that I'm in my late 40s.

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QueenSqueee42@reddit

I'm on this ride with you, friend!

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bobrosserman@reddit

I wasn’t in the program because my Mom said no, but barely getting by with adhd thanks.

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Extra_Intro_Version@reddit

Giftedness and ADHD are completely independent things.

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Barnitch@reddit

I was in the gifted program where I went to the special school twice a week. Looking back it's crazy I was pulled away from my regular class that often. I burnt out on being smart by the end of college and also discovered the highs and lows (literally) of substances along the way. I bummed around in the service industry for a while until I entered the mind-numbing corporate world where I steadily continue to underperform. My ADHD diagnosis came in my 40's. I never even suspected it because as a female, I thought ADHD was just the loud and annoying boys who wanted attention and couldn't sit still in class. Now we know how it presents in females, but seriously, just add it to my mental illness roster.

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User8675309021069@reddit

Not me.

Mine turned out to be the Tism.

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fwast@reddit

I didn't even know what gifted was until I moved out of the ghetto in middle school years and went to a more "richer school". So to me the idea of "gifted" was a rich people thing by the time I heard about it. My parents didn't even pass high school, so they had no idea about any of that stuff.

I did date a girl that was "gifted" in highschool and she had some mental problems for sure. Was taking lithium and bipolar.

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rinky79@reddit

I mean, not just ADHD, but yeah. I got into one of the top law schools in the country because my hyperfixation superpower is standardized multiple choice testing.

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anarchistapples@reddit

Yes, definitely. And also, I grew up in a very multi racial community and the gifted program was very obviously used to retain white families with the district. These programs have unexamined racism embedded into them

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Murphy_Dropkick410@reddit

Gods damnit I am in this picture and I don't like it. self medicates with more caffeine

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i--make--lists@reddit

🙋 Diagnosed at 31. I had never for a moment suspected it, then discovered I was textbook. Blew my mind.

I didn't think it could happen again, but I was told this week by a medical professional I should seriously consider getting screened for autism. I know they're often comorbid and have overlapping signs and symptoms, so I looked it up and, yeah, it fills in all the blanks. I'll probably get tested. Mind blown again.

I really hope there's not a related third neurological acronym that'll get sprung on me in another 15 years. Diagnoses lead to understanding, which is great, but goddamn.

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Bl4ckM3sa3457@reddit

Undiagnosed aspergers looks a lot like "gifted". Now I am an almost 40 yr old adult who is in full time mask mode. I work a high stress job with a high work load to keep from losing it. Personal projects always in either mania mode or under the rug of procrastination. Stay strong out there folks.

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anakusis@reddit

Audhd but yeah

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josephsleftbigtoe@reddit

Or, in my case, autism.

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JungLeo143@reddit

Yeah, I was in moved out of kindergarten to first grade bc I wasn’t interested in what they were doing. Then moved to a private school with smaller classes. Then moved back to a public school. Then placed in gifted and talented. Throughout, I was always in trouble for being in my own little world and having bad grades bc I just wasn’t interested. The had me evaluated and I was diagnosed with ADD and ODD yet I was never actually angry or even argumentative. I just wouldn’t do the things, so that didn’t make any sense. My IQ was high, so it wasn’t a cognitive issue. They would even sit my desk outside of the classroom because I was unable to focus bc of all of the noises. Can you imagine the feelings of isolation as a small child? 😭 But noooobody clocked the ‘tism. I am undiagnosed, but I be knowin. Fast forward to college when I actually cared because I was interested and I made a 4.0. 🙃

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Primary-Strawberry-5@reddit

One of my friends taught himself to read at age 3 and when he started kindergarten, on the first day the teacher did a handout that she just wanted the kids to color the pictures on but my friend read the actual instructions so the teacher called his parents to say he was too advanced for kindergarten, but they wouldn’t send him to first grade early (at that time schools in my home state didn’t actually require kindergarten attendance). My friend ended up graduating a year early in high school but got kicked out of college his second semester because he stealing motherboards from the computer lab and trying to resell them on campus

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JungLeo143@reddit

LOL This reminds me of how my father always used to say that I was “too smart for my own good.”

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Primary-Strawberry-5@reddit

His dad owned a salvage yard and let him use a bunch of scrap and equipment for unhinged science experiments and I used to help him break down circuit boards so that he could have a hefty supply of components. He also constructed a miniature still out of a commercial espresso machine and we almost got caught making hooch several times

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JungLeo143@reddit

I love this lore. I’m picturing a naughty Nikola Tesla.

gif

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BabyJesusBukkake@reddit

Hey, I skipped K, too! Right into first grade, and then GATE classes in CA. Did a unit on the book Never Cry Wolf in 4th grade.

Moved to Boise, Idaho with my fam when I was 10, 5th grade. It sucked.

Fast forward to my sophomore year, 10 grade English. We did a unit on the book Never Cry Wolf and it was then I truly understood how far behind Idaho schools really were.

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ashlyn42@reddit

Fucking GATES program.

Earlier this week just sorted through a box of “school memories” and found a 5th grade “letter to my future self” - which side note - got maybe one out eight goals correct - (got into college - yay debt!)… then less than five sheets later found my Gifted and Talented Excellence certificates from 3-6th grade.

Literally snorted. Joke.

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gmlogmd80@reddit

Hey, another Kindergarten skipper

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Primary-Strawberry-5@reddit

I couldn’t find the motivation to write a term paper on something I was exceptionally knowledgeable on, but god damn could rattle off facts and recognize patterns

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CosmicMamaBear@reddit

Deadlines made me panic. But I can see patterns across society, history, weather, migration. I used to argue with my grade school teachers about memorising spelling words that broke the "rules". If they had explained the history of English and how it pulled from different languages with different rules, I would get it. That was High School or College level in my US State.

But I would not have had a breakdown in 3rd grade. 😀

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gmlogmd80@reddit

Yup. Turns out, daydreaming about becoming a hermit might be a sign. I got skipped a couple of grades and I've always likened it to early parole for good behaviour.

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Into-the-stream@reddit

My kid has the -tism, is in a gifted program, and every kid in the class is either autistic or has a bully of a parent who makes the kid think their only value as a human being is their marks and what university they end up in. The bullied kids pass that anxiety on to the autistic kids, and 95% of what the teachers do is manage this snowballing anxiety.

My kid wasn’t handling regular school well, and they were invited into the gifted program. I’m glad we did it because they are much happier, but there are some HORRIBLE parents out there who think of it as kid-Harvard and ignore the glaring neuro-divergence of most of the kids.

If you have a kid who is thriving in regular stream, leave them. Studies show being in a gifted program has zero impact on success later in life.

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SunDependent9523@reddit

I took my son out of the gifted program and started homeschooling by 2nd grade

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RaechelMaelstrom@reddit

A lot of the big a, sprinkled in with some bipolar to add bursts of energy at times.

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AshDogBucket@reddit

Same

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Jub_Jub710@reddit

I was diagnosed with tourettes because apparently, girls can't have high functioning autism or learning disabilities. College was not a great time. My mom bought all the "So your kid is gifted" books and decided i had grown out of everything else she didn't like.

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Klutzy-Delivery-5792@reddit

Yyyyup. When my own kiddo was diagnosed as on the spectrum it made me realize many things about myself.

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Secure_Bed_9110@reddit

https://i.redd.it/zd5y83335j1h1.gif

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Deep-State-Pizza@reddit

I was “too shy” for the gifted program and to skip a grade, so I decided to become a bare minimum student.

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jtho78@reddit

Aware_Policy_9174@reddit

Upvote for TAG. When I went to college I learned most places called it GAT and that pissed me off for no reason.

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pawogub@reddit

Not me. I feel like they thought I was stupider than I really was. They had me in special ed from kindergarten through 6th grade then I did good on some tests or something and they put in normal classes. Never told me what they suspected my learning disability was, but apparently they thought I got over it or it went away.

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Into-the-stream@reddit

The secret we’ve learned since the 80s is most giftedness and learning disabilities are just asynchronous development: kids whose development is out of sync with their peers, and it does indeed level out by around grade 6. You can’t really say a kid is truly smarter than average or has a learning disability until much later than we thought.

Don’t tell all the parents convinced their 4 year old is The-most-brilliant-child-ever-born-who-can’t-possibly-belong-in-a-regular-class. Part of the reason they are I’ll have gifted programs in primary is because parents are insufferable, not because it’s actually helpful for most kids.

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Specialist-Leek8645@reddit

Yeah I'm still not sure if they thought I was gifted or disabled. I suck at test taking bc I read everything too literally and want pages of context. I was in advanced classes but my grades weren't perfect bc I was lazy, depressed, distracted and hella' anxious. I was in easy classes where they told me I was there to help mentor classmates but were they just telling me that? It was weird, like I spent that class in a lower grade.

I think at the time, everyone hoped for the "They'll grow out of it" all-purpose solution. Take notes but don't worry, it'll go away and they'll be normal, just wait and see.

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OhhhyesIdid@reddit

🙋🏻‍♀️

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MommaOfManyCats@reddit

Nope. I went to a small school though. Of the kids in my gifted class, I'm one of only 3 who finished college and 2 who earned a graduate degree. I remember being really young and my brother convincing me that gifted meant special ed though lol.

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rialucia@reddit

Ah yes, after I was diagnosed with ADHD at 38, I learned that there’s a term for this: Twice Exceptional.

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djspacebunny@reddit

It was actually autism... or CPTSD... or both. Anyway, we out here still doing cool stuff and trying to make the world a better place than when we found it.

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therealpopkiller@reddit

Went to gifted school all throughout elementary, gifted classes in middle school, advanced in HS. Now my industry collapsed and I’m doing gig work to stay afloat. I have no work ethic bc if it’s doesn’t come easily I have no interest in it. Plus I’m super depressed but I don’t feel it bc of meds. And the world is changing too fast for me to want to engage with it anymore. Anyway, gifted school didn’t do a ton of good.

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Dfiggsmeister@reddit

I was in gifted classes middle school and on because I switched from private to public school after third grade and my public school system refused to test me. I was the weird kid that ate his boogers in class and hung out with the computer nerds and goth kids. Turns out I was ASD the entire time but I wasn’t the “typical” ASD kid. That was fun to find out in my 40s.

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_ism_@reddit

autism but yeah

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AlmiranteCrujido@reddit

In my case, "giftedness" was mostly a side effect of being on the autism spectrum, or as we'd have called it back then if I'd had a diagnosis, Asperger's.

My special interests pushed me into reading incessantly, and the other long-running special interest with computers being a marketable job skill.

I may also have ADHD - the fact that my bupropion calms me down strongly suggests that - but it's a much smaller factor in my life than the ASD side.

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sapient_pearwood_@reddit

In this picture, don’t like it

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Magnetheadx@reddit

I haven’t been diagnosed. But I’ll take a guess :)

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Fallsfrostdew@reddit

Where is the correlation between gifted and adhd? My adhd has mostly been a hindrance when it comes to academic and vocational things.

I was considered gifted but I struggled with structures and was poor in academics due to it. ADHD made my life in the modern world worse, not better.

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Jingoisticbell@reddit

When do middle aged “ADHD” ppl stop LARPing as “gifted”?

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Sylaqui@reddit

Yeah. ADHD and top 2% iq apparently. It doesn't really matter in the grand scheme of things.

I'm a scientist and teacher now, nothing spectacular but I'm happy. We mostly end up in the middle somewhere.

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Odd-Fox-7168@reddit

When I was in grade School, I got an OQ test at least three times. I asked to see my records later. The first one was quite high, the second was a lot lower and the third went up again. This makes me doubt those tests. Anyway, I was put into GT groupings and dis well at first maybe bc everyone assumed i was smart? I also had a lot of support at home. By the time i hit high school, i felt very average. Same for college. I bécame a high school teacher bc I couldn’t imagine doing anything “more.” I mostly enjoy teaching high school and I’m pretty good at it, but i often wonder if i lived up to my potential.

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Embarrassed_Quail910@reddit

Years, I am 48 and just got diagnosed. Blah!!

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woofiegrrl@reddit

At the same time, for me. I was in G&T from 1st grade and got an ADHD dx in 3rd grade. Back then (1985ish) we didn't know they were related though, so I got double bullied for being a nerd and being "special needs" at the same time. Cannot recommend, and sometimes I envy people getting diagnosed now because we have so much more understanding. I'm sure it would've been helpful for a lot of folks to not feel like they were failures earlier, but an early dx was no picnic either. Yay, neurodivergent trauma for everyone!

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Otherkin@reddit

I scored in the top 1% in 4th grade and was put into gifted classes. I never learned to study. I think I have some form of ADD. But I also have schizophrenia, so when I finally burned out, I burned out *hard.*

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iwasnotarobot@reddit

ADHD + CPTSD + a dash of tism.

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T1sofun@reddit

Same recipe!

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ReinventedNightly@reddit

Excluded from the gifted program because “you’re so smart but you don’t apply yourself” 🫠

ADHD dx at 47, because smart girls mask like nobody’s business.

But I kick ass at parenting both my 2E kids.

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gilded_lady@reddit

Definitely not ADHD here, but I do have some imposter syndrome lol.

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Charming_Ad1688@reddit

100%

Though my gifted program was in a conversion van so I have no idea if it was legit.

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T1sofun@reddit

Gifted. Diagnosed with adhd at 10 years old. Parents rejected the diagnosis because “girls don’t have ADD” and “ADD is just a nice way of saying pain in the ass” and “they just want to sell more Ritalin”. I did really well in school, but couldn’t do math. Still can’t. It never felt creative enough to keep me interested. Parents told me I was just disorganized and lazy. I was only disorganized by other people’s standards. Handed in every paper on time, was never late for anything, but my locker contained a lot of forgotten lunches and milk cartons. Bedroom always a mess.

I’m still unmedicated, but I’ve been able build a life that works for me. Chaotic enough to give me calm.

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greendocklight@reddit

Yup.

In elementary school, I was one of two token girls in the program, which was 3 days a week for 90 minutes IIRC. The teachers scheduled "fun" things at those times while we were away. The gifted program was mostly sitting around a table doing math problems. As a socially anxious kid who was not good at math and who struggled to maintain friendships, it was pretty much the worst thing ever. The second year, I begged my mom to opt me out, but then the gifted program teacher called her and bullied her into making me go (probably didn't like the optics of only one girl), and she caved. So in addition to social awkwardness and hatred of math, I gained my lifelong suspicion of authority figures.

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everybodys_lost@reddit

My "giftedness" i realized many years later (when it accounted to not much of anything) was just being an avid reader.

All the standardized tests put me at high school level reading in 3rd-4th grade... But it was only because i read everything and anything from the time i was in 2nd grade....

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P-a-n-a-m-a-m-a@reddit

They’re often co-diagnosed/labelled - call twice exceptionality (2E).

Whether the diagnosis of ADHD (and in some cases, autism) is accurate or the presentations are simply a function of higher intelligence is still being debated.

I’m married to a gifted person (who almost certainly has undiagnosed AuDHD) and a child who is shockingly bright and is diagnosed with symptoms of AuDHD (hyper focused, hyper active and inattentive)

We’re about $8k and seven years into understanding this.

The Davidson Institute in Reno is doing some interesting research on whether the ADHD and Autism labels are accurate and in-fact, separate conditions. Either way, seeing occurrences is VERY common.

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madsci@reddit

I only got into the GATE program because I was struggling (with undiagnosed ADHD) and it wasn't until we went to the school psychologist that we discovered I was already eligible based on my standardized test scores. My sister was, too. I don't know why no one bothered to ever tell us about the program.

I've never taken an IQ test but the GATE cutoff was 130, so presumably it's above that, and yet I've still never passed an Algebra class with better than a D. Well, not one that wasn't computer-based or independent study, anyway. It took another decade or more before anyone would get around to diagnosing me with ADHD.

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leicanthrope@reddit

If only I had "applied myself"...

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martin-silenus@reddit

It's likely both.

A ton of highly and profoundly gifted kids are also neurospicy. Autism, ADHD, dyslexia, OCD, executive function issues, SPDs, and on and on. One of my favorite facts about the intersection of neurodiversity and giftedness is the average IQ for dyslexics is 135.

Helping these kids can be very challenging and interesting.

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KinkMountainMoney@reddit

Not sure how functional we were, but it was nice to get away in a smaller class with other weirdos.

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YoohooCthulhu@reddit

Here, I don’t know about “just” but the two are part of the way I think for sure.

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PlaidChairStyle@reddit

I wasn’t in any gifted classes and got mediocre-good-ish grades. Cheated a lot in high school.

Went away to college, felt like a moron and constantly raised my hand to ask clarifying questions because I had no shame and just didn’t want to fail. Learned to study hard, because I felt at a intellectual disadvantage. Then people started calling me “the smartest person” in my classes, which was utterly baffling. Got super high grades, and never cheated once. Became a TA for the freshman and sophomore required humanities classes. Accidentally double majored in philosophy because the classes were fun. Graduated Magna Cum Laude and was a .01 percent away from summa. Got a graduate assistantship in grad school.

Why was I so mediocre in public school? Was it because my parents never advocated for me? I don’t remember even being tested. None of my teachers ever saw anything in me. Was I just mediocre? I almost didn’t go to college, because of how mediocre I was.

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Worth-Mistake-9673@reddit

Damn thank you for posting this, as it is similar to my experience and I just posted a comment complaining that we always see posts about the gifted underachiever but never hear about the inverse - the kids who never got attention but went on to discover they actually were smart and high-achieving.

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PlaidChairStyle@reddit

I have given young people this advice: it doesn’t matter if you’re smart—it only matters if you work hard. Because that was my experience!

My sibling was on the gifted track in public school and always got all As easily—ended up failing an engineering major in college because they didn’t know how to study or what to do when classes were hard because it had never happened to them before.

My sibling struggled with un/under employment and living at home until their late twenties when their friends convinced them to move away.

I feel like the gifted track did them dirty!

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IceXence@reddit

You probably never were mediocre. You simply weren't trying before probably because you didn't think you had it in you. Then in College, you wanted to succeed so you did all the right things: you asked questions, you did your work, you studied and it paid of.

You unlocked the potential you had all along.

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Cold-Nefariousness25@reddit

I was always in the top classes and found everything easy and boring, so I never learned to work on something challenging. Then I went to grad school and things were hard for the first time. I learned to struggle and found my people.

I still have ADHD but know how to control it (most of the time). Do I have paralyzing fear of starting something? You betcha! I also have gifted kids that I am teaching to work on the hard things.

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johnvalley86@reddit

Any of my fellow gifted kids remember doing model UN? I always got some crap country so me and all the other kids just sat in the back bullshitting the entire time

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Rare_Background8891@reddit

lol. Going through this now with my own kid. He’s in a STEM magnet program. He’s had some testing, but nothing conclusive. I say he’s….. something….

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Thamnophis660@reddit

It was just a need for entertainment and stimulation that I was reading and writing at a higher level and consuming different topics. School was usually the same 4 boring subjects repeated year after year.

I never felt I was "gifted" just bored.

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Jewbacca522@reddit

This right here. I could read high school and college level books in 4th grade about engineering, manufacturing processes, airplanes and boats and cars.

But trying to get me to read an “age appropriate 4th grader book”, good luck teach. I’ll squirm my ass all over the classroom just to avoid opening that book.

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Specialist-Leek8645@reddit

Haha you reminded me I was such a snotty know-it-all that I read Bram Stoker's Dracula in 4th or 5th grade. We had to do book reports but I used one book instead of several. It was way over my head, don't get me wrong! The teacher was a good sport for letting me. It did not help me make any friends, however, and I could have used some of those. I was happy to graduate bc to me public education was forced and unenthusiastic. I couldn't wait to go to college where ppl wanted to learn and challenge themselves. It represented intellectual freedom for me.

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CosmicMamaBear@reddit

I was one of the 80s kids who missed lots of regular class to go to a national guard base to be with others who drank the liquid that made us sick, we listened to casset tapes, and got asked questions about how we felt. What other kids were thinking. If we saw shapes and colors with tones in the headphones. Men with clipboards evaluated us.

We also did excelerated memorization.

I now have synesthesia and focal point seizures because of LSD.

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725Cali@reddit

I just received notification that my daughter will be in the gifted program. She is not on the spectrum and does not have ADHD. I have read and heard so many negative things from people who were in gifted programs that it has me a bit worried. But I know that she needs more than what the regular curriculum offers.

Any advice would be greatly appreciated!

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59apache01@reddit

We had too many "Un-gifted" at my school for there to even be a "gifted" program!

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bgva@reddit

Someone said we were just overstimulated and the teacher put us in "gifted" programs because they didn't know what to do with us. I think about that from time to time.

As a former kid who was "too smart to make dumb mistakes", I think being gifted did nothing but give me anxiety about making a mistake. I also think I was such a slacker in high school because I just didn't care about reading The Scarlet Letter or whatever, and felt (at the time) I'm never gonna use any of this in life.

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Specialist-Leek8645@reddit

sounds very familiar.

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Jewbacca522@reddit

That quote describes every parent-teacher conference my parents went to my entire life.

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bgva@reddit

Same. I admit hearing a teacher tell you "I'm disappointed that didn't apply yourself as much as you could've" cuts kinda deep.

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Just_Spinach_31@reddit

I was in gt. Pretty sure it's autism

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Phoniceau@reddit

Nope. Just creative.

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Pawneewafflesarelife@reddit

My dad was a research assistant on several of the early ADHD drug trials so when the school said every year that I was, he refused to let me be diagnosed, based on his old experience with the kids being drugged hard.

In his head, he was protecting me, but as a 40+ year old who doesn't have a formal diagnosis, it's.... inconvenient.

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Express-Cow190@reddit

I wish we had something like that but my school didn’t have that option. I was offered to skip a grade but I was already socially awkward and wanted to be able to relate to my peers at some point.

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linseeds@reddit

The "gifted" thing went pretty well until I took organic chemistry in my third year of college. I discovered I had no idea how to learn something that I didn't immediately understand. I tried to pass the class a couple of times and then switched my major to art. Looking back to my childhood, I'm pretty sure I have an ADD thing going on as well.

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CayseyBee@reddit

The older I get the more I realize I either have always had it or it’s perimenopause induced, self diagnosed but when I mentioned it to my daughter she was like duh, mom

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violetstrainj@reddit

Do not discount yourself just because you’re neurodivergent. Having ADHD just means that you don’t do well in normal classroom settings, it does not affect your intelligence. That’s always bothered me when people said that. I always felt that having ADHD proved that I was smarter than even I thought, because I’ve achieved so many things on hard mode.

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mobster1@reddit

the g & t students i knew all became potheads and dropped out of college

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Worth-Mistake-9673@reddit

Okay sorry, but I am genuinely exhausted of seeing this discourse everywhere. We have seen SO many posts just like this.

My experience was different and I never hear about this perspective. Who had people always treating them like they were stupid and couldn't do anything right, only to find out later in life that you actually were smart, capable, gifted?

For me, I was always the stupid one in my family who couldn't do anything right, but I ended up breaking out from the conditions I was raised in and became the only one of my siblings to go to college and not only graduate cum laude with my BA but then went on to earn an MA, was a professor abroad for many years, and have a strong career where I am knowledgeable and respected in my incredibly complex and niche field. I still have to remind myself that I'm not stupid and get surprised when I am heard, listened to, and respected because no one ever treated me like that as I was growing up.

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Specialist-Leek8645@reddit

I remember one day in my 20's getting a call from my hometown school department. They had a big brown file to give me of all the notes and testing they did on me when I was little. I remember the testing but didn't think I'd ever get a whole file about it. They never did figure out why I walk into walls (still do). My OCD was always complimented and my anxiety made me such a well-behaved child. At least the school had an idea there was something wrong with me.

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mizushimo@reddit

I was a really smart kid but failed the gifted test because I always took too long with my answers and didn't finish enough of it, I was also considered stupid by my peers because I was really emotionally immature and impulsive. It seemed like the gifted kids were all studious and mature with good art skills and hand eye coordination, I was sloppy and had trouble finishing assignments in the allotted time.

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Starbreiz@reddit

GATE. Taught myself to read at age 4. Played alone at recess. Was even evaluated for autism as a kid but was a girl in the 80s.

Perimenopause hit and I finally got diagnosed.

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ArtaxWasRight@reddit

I loved gifted class. It was called IDEA, and they would pull us out of class once or twice a week to go to it, which was freaking awesome. Greek myths, homonyms, genealogy, rhetoric, paleontology. In 6th grade we even discussed some concepts from quantum theory, and our awesome trekkie teacher explained with elements from the final season of TNG and the first of DS9, which aired that year (Worf slipping btw quantum realities, wormholes, etc). Then we moved away and there was no gifted program.

I ended up getting a PhD from the most famous school you can think of. This was a mistake. No permanent jobs. Adjunct gigs all over, but those contracts expired before the eggs in my refrigerator. Taught my tits off till eventually I just ran out of runway. I moved away and do menial labor jobs. Grim shit.

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CSWorldChamp@reddit

I’m seeing a lot of “or’s” here, but I think most of these should probably be considered “and’s”. You can be gifted and autistic and ADHD.

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SilverAsparagus2985@reddit

OR had to work through crippling CPTSD? But you know photographic memory was helpful so I can vividly remember each detail. 🫠

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El-Royhab@reddit

They only let the "well behaved" smart kids into the gifted program, so I was frequently excluded. When I pushed my way into honors English in jr high, I got nothing but contempt from the teacher in spite of having every right to be there.

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disappointedCoati@reddit

I did Gifted from 1st grade until they swapped it for AP in high school. I am a messy perfectionist with anxiety. No adhd though.

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trustme1maDR@reddit

I was in the gifted program. My mental health took a dive when I went to grad school and my professors were not impressed with me. It was the first time in my life I had to learn to be ok with being mediocre. I'm still working on it decades later.

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Charrbard@reddit

In our school system, the gifted class was just the wealthier popular kids club ran by one of the students aunt? Or some relative.

My friend and I consistently held near 100 avgs in every class for years. We were pretty much the only two. But we were both in working class families, and the extent of our parental involvement was getting signatures. Neither of us were ever approached about the "gifted" program. Not until the first year of high school when the state took a look, said wtf, and sent me off to college early. Not sure whatever became of my friend. But suspect he's some nasa dude somewhere.

Admittedly, I had some issues with authority and my friend mostly followed my lead. College was great despite being too young for socializing.

Now I am suspicious about the number of my friends and acquaintances that are being diagnosed with it late in life. I have to wonder if the symptoms are so broad now that almost any one from our generation would qualify.

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Cautious-Ordinary475@reddit

Me. Diagnosed in my late 30s after seeking psych help when my executive disfunction was making the career I love unbearably stressful.

Doing better now that I’m medicated but still pretty stressed.

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Astrazigniferi@reddit

Nothing diagnosed, but probably and now I’m watching my kid go through it too. My parents opted not to put me in the self-contained gifted program, so school was always easy and I never learned how to work through a challenge. I crashed hard in college.

When my kid qualified for the gifted program, we went ahead a switched him to the full program and it’s been really great seeing him be challenged and have to put real effort in. What it had also made obvious to us as his family, is that there’s probably some neurodiversity going on. Maybe a touch of ADHD because now that his work takes longer to complete, he struggles to stay on task. Maybe autism because he’s got some sensory issues and seems to need to unmask and release obnoxious behaviors at home. However, since he’s doing well in school and appears to have “social interaction with other humans” as his special interest, we can’t get either his teachers or his doctor to take us seriously enough to start a full evaluation for either condition. And it will cost thousands of dollars to have it done privately. It’s super frustrating.

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Jewbacca522@reddit

I was in gifted class from 2nd grade through 5th.

Diagnosed with moderately severe ADHD at 34 (42 now), by my mental health counselor wife.

Adderall changed my life, and it pains me to think how much easier my life would have been through school had I had access to it then.

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ODB247@reddit

I was in the gifted program and my mom told me it was because I was dumb and they felt sorry for me. I was reading at a high school level in 3rd grade though. After that I got put back in normal classes and learned the art of just doing all the work the night before or morning of the deadline. I was kind of left with no direction because none of it was very exciting and I didn’t see the use of working through things that actually challenged me because I could work around it or didn’t need it.

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Samgash33@reddit

gif

Diagnosed ADHD at… 45. Probably ’tism - one son diagnosed and my dad never said a word to me his entire life.

Now I get abused by normies - the ones at work can’t wait to replace me with AGI, and my spouse who has decided my executive failures = free rein to schedule whatever, whenever and leave me to fill in the gap.

God I wish I had discovered a way to do self discipline and work before burning out all alone in grad school when things became challenging.

But hey, those syllogisms were pretty fun!

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bassjam1@reddit

Well if you didn't know, the rest of us certainly knew what gifted meant as we watched you leave to go to your "special" classes

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Witty-Stock-4913@reddit

I would love to see this studied. Because the percent of neurodivergence seems shockingly high. Hubby, me, now kiddo. All ADHD (I'm late to the party, because I was the quiet daydreamer type).

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BloodFromAnOrange@reddit

I just liked to read.

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Pretend_Designer_206@reddit

*raises hand*

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TheBr0fessor@reddit

Obligatory

r/aftergifted

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nikoledaisy@reddit

I was in the gifted kids program and oddly enough the school they sent us gifted kids was called Spectrum. Diagnosed as AuDHD

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scronide@reddit

Being abnormally good at school is not normal. QED. Knew it from a young age, but wider society didn't see us until Rain Man.

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unbalancedcentrifuge@reddit

Yep...I was both in gifted classes and labeled a chronic underachiever. The gifted classes were absolutely worthless by every single metric (I was in a crappy rural school). Since I was a girl and mostly got As, no one even thought about ADHD despite the fact that I am a textbook inattentive type. Now I have a PhD. in biotech, and my ADHD gives me a unique skill set that my companies have valued. However, I still have a pile of unopened mail, and my desk is absolute chaos while I hyperfocus on problem solving an experiment until after midnight.

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llammacheese@reddit

Oh! Me!! Seeing it in my own child now, too!

It’s been an interesting run as an adult noticing all of the things that I did growing up that were really ADHD showing its face. When my husband and I moved in together, I explained to him that he would likely never see me clean, but that doesn’t mean I don’t clean up, I just have to do it at odd hours, otherwise it feels like I’m doing it because someone else expects it.

On the flip side, if I am cleaning while he’s present, don’t interrupt me because I’m in the zone and the second you say something or offer a suggestion for what needs to be done, the “zone” closes and I’m done for the day, even if I’m mid-task.

Didn’t realize that the first was the avoidance thing that people with ADHD experience, and the second was hyper focus- until I started learning more about how ADHD presents in girls vs. boys and why in our generation girls were rarely diagnosed.

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NovaForceElite@reddit

Oh honey, that's not what they meant by gifted. /s

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ArcadesRed@reddit

Couldn't spell at the required level in 2nd grade. I was also kind of a little shit. So they tried to make me redo the year. Mother forced them to do tests, including an IQ test. Scored 145 and positive for dyslexia.

Immediately started to go to the dumb kids special education for spelling and after school smart kids school at the university 3 days a week. Snack during the 30min drive every day was fruit pockets and/or pop tarts. I cannot stand either to this day.

Starting in 3rd grade Ohio had yearly standardized tests that I always aced. I made the school look good.

7th grade, I realized that the special education classes had literally taught me nothing. Demanded to be returned to general population. Pushed hard for it because I was so insulted at what they had done. I proceeded to brute force memorize spelling and the rules of sentence structure.

8th grade, parents could no longer afford to send me to the university. Being the 90's, that meant I lost access to my accelerated absorbing of info. I realized that the school gave zero shits about me unless I failed a class. They did want my state test results though to pump up their numbers. GPA settled into a comfortable 2.3-2.5, I despised homework so I stopped doing it.

10th grade I demanded to be allowed to go university again. This time under a program to take college classes on the state dime during the school day.

12th grade I aced the final state test. And the school was forced to graduate me as a honors graduate with a 2.3 GPA.

15ish years later I realized I actually had untreated ADD my whole damned life. And that my parents and teachers knew the whole damned time.

10ish years after that I still haven't gotten it treated. But I am starting to feel dumb, mentally foggy, and am highly considering it.

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absolutnonsense@reddit

Yeah... I'm pretty sure the "gifted program" I was in had like 1-2 legitimate geniuses and the rest of us were just high functioning (mostly undiagnosed) autistics.

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Gadshill@reddit

Was never in gifted programs, but I have been succeeding in a technical career including obtaining a masters. I’m far from ADHD as well. If anything I have to stop myself from focusing on the task at hand for family and health reasons.

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A-Supurb-Owl@reddit

I wasn’t in it either but got a PhD and am highly contextually micro famous in my field, so I did find academically.

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LooLu999@reddit

I was in GATE 5-8th grade. I loved it so much and it was the best part of school for me. I’m not neurodivergent, I don’t think lol, but I wish I would’ve harnessed my intellect instead of choosing to be a rebel partier instead 🥴and to this day, slow processors fill me with a silent rage. Idk why I’m like that haha

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fromthedarqwaves@reddit

I joined the gifted class in middle school because a girl I liked was in it. But then i got put into a different gifted class than her. I had to take a test to get in so i was a least good enough according to that test. In Highschool i tried to keep the same path but took a nosedive into reality and changed into regular classes sophomore year and on. I was so much happier and better off in the normal classes. My Highschool had some real eggheads which made me realize I wasn’t one of those. I graduated comfortably in the middle of my class of 355 students.

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FormidableMistress@reddit

In high school I was in IB and that's when my executive function crapped out. I would freeze. I'd panic until the project was due, unable to do anything about it, unable to talk to my parents, and then relief would wash over me after the deadline passed and I failed.

There was a project for my freshman geometry class I didn't even attempt. We had to pick a commercial building in town, go to the property appraisers website (the internet was brand new btw) and find the dimensions of that building's rooms, then figure the square footage. Then we had to take those measurements to a local carpet store, get the prices for the carpet for those rooms, and also carpet samples. We had to show our mathematical work for the measurements and pricing, with printouts from the property appraiser's site and carpet business of costs. Plus the stupid carpet samples.

It was so fucking stupid. I can't imagine what that carpet store thought with all these high school students coming in and asking for samples and printed estimates for projects that weren't real and weren't going to translate into sales.

At the beginning of that program there were 100 of us and they told us 75 of you are going to flunk out and not make it. Gee thanks. The handful of kids that did make it through the entire program got into good colleges pretty quickly but then had nervous breakdowns. Some are successful but all are burned out. Nobody is running a Fortune 500 company.

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goykasi@reddit

I was tested to join those classes for years in elementary. I guess I always just barely missed the cut, and then my mother would raise hell for not letting me in. I think watching that fucked me up.

Eventually, I went in to one of the greatest imposter syndrome heavy careers — software development. I’m a good developer, but I’m a better drinker.

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J-How@reddit

Never have I wanted a shirt in a movie more.

Gifted classes, math team, academic team, perfect SAT score, and I blew a full ride at a (not-too-challenging) state school in the first two years. Finished my B.S. at another school and then did really well in law school several years later. I had to figure out how to be an adult / professional. It’s still very challenging, and I struggle very much with being “deadline oriented” (some might call it procrastination).

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garygnu@reddit

No gifted program was available for me, but I would have qualified. No ADHD, just a job where being smart is barely useful.

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actionerror@reddit

It was a way to get out of gym class. But it was full of snooty know-it-alls and we did nothing that was considered advanced that I ended up going back to the gym instead. At least gym was fun and the kids not insufferable.

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B4SSF4C3@reddit

Yo

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elliemff@reddit

My 8th grade algebra teacher once showed me a B beside my name in the roll book, and told me she’d never seen it before me but it stood for Both Gifted & Talented. At 42 I found out it was really just both ADHD & autism.

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Bleacherblonde@reddit

Me too! Diagnosed at 35 lol.

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dragon34@reddit

Meeeee

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Samondel@reddit

Autism, but yeah.

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Adrasteia-One@reddit

I have suspected that this was my case, but I'm as yet undiagnosed.

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TinyGIR@reddit

Undiagnosed but something ain't right.

Actually, I'm peer reviewed - someone who was diagnosed with AuDHD even thinks I'm on the spectrum.

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Adrasteia-One@reddit

Yeah, if anyone we know is diagnosed, they would likely be able to spot some signs.

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TartofDarkness@reddit

I should’ve been in Clue, but my grades and conduct weren’t good enough.

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JamesEpic356@reddit

I was in the program, then booted after they changed the selection criteria. Easiest way to give a kid a complex; tell them they’re “gifted,” then tell them they decided you weren’t special after a year 😡

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Starboard_Pete@reddit

There was some debate over me in school; I could draw photorealistic portraits in 6th grade, and got most mathematical concepts instantly, but I couldn’t get through one page of a book without being bored to death, and doodled in most of my classes. The eventual conclusion was that I was not “gifted.”

Also, female student in the late 80’s/early 90’s Rust Belt…so they just never considered it could be some sort of spectrum ADD or ADHD thing. I was labeled “smart but spacey, and sometimes willful.”

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ScaryTransbian84@reddit

The gifted kid to trans pipeline is real. All my focus in school was a direct result of me trying to bury my real self and just be the “smart” kid.

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Ok-Wasabi2873@reddit

Most of the gifted kids in my class turned out pretty damn good. Particle physicist, multiple college professors, bioengineering researchers, and heard one is a hedge fund manager.

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ZaphodBeeblebrahx@reddit

Never had a doctor tell me I had a problem so I choose to believe I’m just gifted.

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Imaginary-Pain9598@reddit

Since I was raised not to complain I have a hell of a time trying to get ANY type of diagnosis beyond gifted which I feel was borderline-low anyway. 😭

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DoctorBlazes@reddit

I ended up being an anesthesiologist, and there are a significant nunber of my colleagues on the spectrum.

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FemaleMishap@reddit

It's me! Gifted and talented, and totally unprepared for life.

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Responsible_Park3317@reddit

Yeah, AuDHD is my "gift". Learned that shit in my 30's. Explained SO MUCH trauma. My old man still thinks I'm just lazy and worthless, but he's got so many useless collections lining the walls of the bedroom he doesn't share with his wife, that I can't hear his judgement over his hypocrisy.

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nosleeptilbroccoli@reddit

Was in magnet/gifted programs, AP classes in high school, perfect math and science ACT/SAT scores, near perfect in the other subjects, scholarships paid for most of my college.

Now, while I do have a very successful career and a good life, I have insane ADHD and inability to focus. I try to control that with learning new hobbies and directing my hyper-focus episodes into productive creative outlets, but my brain tends to go haywire a lot and it’s gotten worse as I get older.

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facesnorth@reddit

I was gifted just enough to not get into any of the gifted nor the remedial programs.

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Verbull710@reddit

Nope, just smart 👍

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yathrowaday@reddit

Yup. Now a (NTT) Full Professor.

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them00nisdown@reddit

Called out of grade school class for testing, told by my teachers and the mornig announcements that I has tested into the gifted class and I would be leaving class once a week to go to another school. The days comes, teachers send me out on the buss to go to the gifted school. Get there and the teachers says she has know idea who I am and why I'm there. Never sent back.

It took till the end of jr high to get back into advanced classes. Failed miserably and barely graduated with 2.4 gpa. Get to college finally via gibill and the marine corps, 4.0 bachelors, masters degree, and doctorate.

I just wish school was school and challenged kids. Watching my kids do school is horrible. Absolutely being thought nothing and not being challenged. Catered to at every possibly moment of having to overcome a challenge.

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apolliana@reddit

All my friends were in the gifted program, but I wasn't, despite being by far the biggest nerd in my whole year. Every year after standardized tests I'd hope and wait for the envelope telling me I'd gotten in, but it didn't come until the last possible semester for it--2nd semester of 8th grade. The class was really cool but what I remember most were my years of gifted program envy.

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SlapHappyDude@reddit

Why not both? Giftedness can mask ADHD.

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FoppyRETURNS@reddit

We have to stop teaching adhd as a weakness and leave the status of disability to the... disabled. If I wasn't "adhd" I would be forced to function on normie energy. I do not envy that.

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freshpicked12@reddit

OCD for me!

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BloodyPaleMoonlight@reddit

I didn't have friends until I went to college, so my giftedness was literally having nothing else better to do than make good grades.

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Benzinni1@reddit

Yup same here

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wittylemur@reddit

I was in some of the gifted classes (humanties) and in some normy- classes (science and math) i also spent time in Special Ed because I had a speech impediment

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brakeb@reddit

Yea, "gifted" program here... All it did was get my ass kicked because I got to miss out on tests... Then there was the Christmas breakwhere I misunderstood the teacher's assignment, jumped ahead and did like 100 lessons in the math book, and not the "extra lessons in the back. She was nice about it and started me on pre-algebra in the 6th grade for the last half of the year

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Sceadu80@reddit

Turned out to be moderate autism and CPTSD. I had a good run as a scientist before burning out spectacularly at about 40.

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Purple-Sherbert8803@reddit

Is it me or did Covid make every kid on the spectrum of something?

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AbaloneCat@reddit

Autism for me. The term twice-exceptional didn’t become a thing until later so I thought “oh we are just the smart kids”. Looking back, all my GATE peers were spectrum or ADHD who did well academically or were creative. I had no awareness of my deficits, except maybe on a subconscious level. Special Ed was the other side of the coin - for neurodivergents who didn’t do well academically. In fifth and sixth grades, we had the option to be paired with a SPED student during recesses, and it now makes sense why I felt more comfortable hanging out with them. Basically I didn’t know how to engage in group play and did better 1:1 with someone I didn’t have to mask around.

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Primary-Strawberry-5@reddit

In the second half of 8th grade my class got split into two groups. Group A and Group B. They started me in group B until they did some skills testing and dropped me into group A with the more accelerated kids. Which was weirdly way less homework and more educational “games” (think pattern recognition, complicated word play and stuff). Then high school came and I was just anonymous and trying not to stand out

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Scissorsguadalupe@reddit

I'm pretty sure my mom lobbied for me to get into the gifted program

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Equivalent-Mousse-93@reddit

My mom lobbied to get me out because she thought it would ruin my chances to find a suitable husband. You know, a top priority for most third graders. 😅

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swaggering_yak@reddit

My mom definitely did because I was bored as hell. I remember having to do an IQ test with the school psychologist

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Scissorsguadalupe@reddit

I think I got in because of my Mom's huberous

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likesblackcoffeebest@reddit

Not ADHD in my case. I was diagnosed with autism when I was 25, though.

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Most_Luck4971@reddit

Nah, my brothers were both very smart and got in, def no ADHD. I was ADHD and never got tested.

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Lethave@reddit

Talented and Gifted 1-8th grade. I'm now convinced they just wanted to silo us so we could cannibalize each other trying to get the highest grades instead of disrupting a regular class because we were above grade level and bored. Had the best field trips and extracurricular classes, though.

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LarryGoldwater@reddit

Whatever gets the mortgage paid

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