What's your weirdest supermarket substitution?

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XA3A12@reddit

They constantly substitute vegetarian sausages or burgers or bacon for the real version… Which we obviously don’t eat since we only order vegetarian food.

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Mia18AJ@reddit

Yes, I had vegan mince substituted with veal mince once…I can see that they both start with ‘veg’ but I wasn’t impressed

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Zealousideal_Pop3121@reddit

Oooof the worst of all the meats to have substituted. Even many meat eaters won’t touch veal.

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pajamakitten@reddit

Baby cows chained to the floor and kept in crates to stop them moving to keep the meat tender.

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And kept in total darkness so the meat stays white ! You can now get ‘ethical’ veal - meaning they are at least allowed to actually see sunlight , but still slaughtered at mere weeks old, I don’t eat either version but when I think about it as a meat eater it does cause me to think - where do we all actually draw the line. Those are the weeks I have a very much bowl of veggies diet !!

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randomentity12@reddit

Sounds delicious

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StockholmGirl29@reddit

I'm a meat eater but would never eat veal or game. Just a personal thing. I draw the line at baby animals and wildlife!

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bornfromanegg@reddit

So you don’t eat lamb?

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funeralpageant@reddit

Baby cows

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zviiper@reddit

Someone’s ordering their shopping from somewhere fancy!

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Mia18AJ@reddit

Ha ha! I think it was just Sainsbury’s

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oldProgs64@reddit

GF food being substituted with vegan (non-GF) 'equivalents'. I'm in doubt what to do as I feel complaining would just result in the picker getting blamed when really it's a training issue.

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frumentorum@reddit

It's not a picker making the choice, it's an algorithm choosing the item that matches the most key words

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Purple_Committee_216@reddit

I'm glad you explained that! This week instead of 2 x 2L unbranded semi skimmed fresh filtered milk I got 2L branded skimmed milk.

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bornfromanegg@reddit

Beats the time I had two 4L bottles of semi-skimmed replaced by two 2L bottles of semi-skimmed.

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Careless_Ad5251@reddit

You can override the choice and make your own

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strawberrychief@reddit

I have problems with dairy and I've had GF instead of vegan/dairy free. Not much use to me either.

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bolasaurus@reddit

And the other way around. I ordered a vegan pizza once and it was subbed with a GF beef lasagne!

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bill_end@reddit

Probably better than the HM beef lasagnes tesco was caught selling a while back

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Mr-Stripes@reddit

As someone who does uber eats/just eat etc in supermarket, some you get suggestions, some you get suggestions, but you have to match the price or lower. Because not every item is in store is on the apps, there are items that dont scan ao you have to find what you can. Though not going to lie. I have been tempted to do some crazy subs, but I think that if I was that person who really needed it.... so I try my best to get as close.

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moonflowered_@reddit

Back when I was vegan I found a box of frozen breaded fish added in among my delivery. Not even a substitution, just a random addition that I didn’t pay for

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preddit1234@reddit

sounds very fishy to me

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New_Pop_8911@reddit

My mum got a bottle of Kylie Prosecco randomly in hers the other week, hadn't ordered it or been charged either

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Mispict@reddit

And this is why computers can't completely replace humans. Incapable of making judgements.

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PierreTheTRex@reddit

This is one thing where LLMs will be better at than humans given enough datasets to train on

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maelie@reddit

My friends once had, in place of Tofu, four pigs trotters. They weren't actually a vegan household but still that is some weird substituting.

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-cunningstunt@reddit

My MIL is a vegetarian, and gets this a lot.

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ChipCob1@reddit

Yep, once got a veg pizza replaced with a meat feast pizza.

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Funny_Tank8531@reddit

This week I got pepperoni pizza as a substitute for vegetable spring rolls 🤷🏼‍♂️ only possible reason free from rolls, gluten free pizza, however did have half dozen plant pioneer from the freezer too and entire shop was vegan friendly

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batgirlsmum@reddit

I got a gluten free pizza substituted by a vegan one. Both special diets, but other than that there’s no overlap between gluten free meat and gluten filled base with vegan toppings.

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Sad-Peace@reddit

I once got a steak and kidney pie instead of a vegetable one 🙄

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RowRow1990@reddit

We had that once. Every item subs with meat, and then an added bag of fish we hadn't ordered .

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Super_Shallot2351@reddit

I just got the Crosta Mollica pizza bases substituted for their meat pizza

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PorkSwordFight@reddit

I once substituted toothpaste with crab paste and condoms with pregnancy testing kit.

I was a very bored teenager.

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Imaginary-Hornet-397@reddit

An idiot, as well.

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Aaron123111@reddit

When I was 16 I used to work for Sainsbury’s and I used to substitute customers flavoured jelly with KY jelly for a laugh

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doegrey@reddit

I mean some of these are hilarious but it’s a very inconvenient.

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Imaginary-Hornet-397@reddit

Yeah, especially for housebound customers.

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Ruskythegreat@reddit

I saw a post where the box of cake mix was substituted with all the ingredients needed to make a cake!

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humanityisdyingfast@reddit

I used to work in a a supermarket and someone once ordered ready-made mash. We’d ran out so I subbed it for a spud and a masher

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Imaginary-Hornet-397@reddit

I hope the customer was not one who had no wrist or hand strength. Such as an elderly customer with arthritis. Ready made or pre-chopped foods aren't just for lazy people, you know?

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bill_end@reddit

Nice thinking, but often people who buy ready made foods aren't doing it for convenience/laziness (not that there's anything wrong with that).

Quite possibly you may have been delivering to a spastic or someone with muscular dystrophy who couldn't peel and mash a potato even if they wanted to.

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UnacceptableUse@reddit

!dick

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humanityisdyingfast@reddit

“A spastic”Jesus what year is it? 1966?

You do make a fair point but if someone has specific accessibility needs they need to actually say so when ordering. My supermarket had customer notes on our scanners for things like that. It wasn’t part of my job as a minimum-wage, fresh out of Alevels supermarket worker to psychically infer why someone bought ready made mash lmao

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Crusty_White_Baton@reddit

I remember that post!

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jtothemofudging@reddit

The supermarket was out of eggs, flour, butter, and sugar?

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shuffling_crabwise@reddit

Other way round. They were out of boxed cake mix, so provided the raw ingredients instead

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jtothemofudging@reddit

Sorry, completely misread that!

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veryblocky@reddit

No, the other way around, out of cake mix. So they gave them the ingredients required

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Firm_Doughnut_1@reddit

I would love that to be fair

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theprocrastatron@reddit

I mean thats vaguely sensible at least.

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Unbeknownsttooyou@reddit

Ordered veggie kofte meat.. they delivered 5 x byriani spice mixes.

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ExtremeActuator@reddit

A friend ordered a kilo of lemons to make homemade lemonade and they were substituted with a litre of lemon Fairy Liquid. She couldn’t even employ the old adage because life (or Tesco) hadn’t given her lemons.

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Imperterritus0907@reddit

I switched to Ocado because I was tired of this shit with Morrisons. Not only they substitute less but they tend to be more reasonable choices..

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slaff88@reddit

Ordered a bottle of Gentleman Jack Ale online from asda. Received a litre bottle of Jack Daniels instead. I don't even like Jack Daniels lol. I think the bottle of Ale was £4.40 and I wound up with a decent gift for someone 😂😂

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Good-Gur-7742@reddit

I got the mother of all substitutions the other day.

I had ordered two bunches of tenderstem broccoli, along with a load of other veggies.

The supermarket decided to substitute every unavailable vegetable with more tenderstem broccoli. We ended up with FOURTEEN bunches of the stuff.

I ended up getting the full shop refunded as I complained that this was clearly insane.

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pixeltash@reddit

When ordering from Asda I always mark no substitutions.

I've had entire orders be out of stock, except the packet of sweets I ordered to make it over the delivery threshold. I love paying £4 to get a van bring me some sweeties.

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Amazing_Goal_8003@reddit

At least you won’t be anaemic

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Good-Gur-7742@reddit

True. And luckily I love it. But what an insane substitute.

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Amazing_Goal_8003@reddit

What tickles me most is that they would have been right near other veggies. Someone actively chose to send 14 bunches of broccoli 😂

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Mglfll@reddit

Seen posted before someone having tampax subbed for a twix, interesting choice there

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Lonelysock2@reddit

T...x it's the same!

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doegrey@reddit

Sorry, twix wouldn’t cut it. Would have to be a full block of chocolate.

..And a tub of Icecream too.

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jinglesan@reddit

Well, Twix fits

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YoungGazz@reddit

I would have upped the ante and sent a 4 finger KitKat.

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Negative-Associate38@reddit

You can see the thinking behind it though - appeasement and apology.

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Worried_Cheesecake80@reddit

Cereal replaced with cat biscuit. Was years ago still makes me laugh

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The_Little_Squidge@reddit

I have strawberry flavoured water subbed for a balloon weight.

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kalendral_42@reddit

I ordered a pack of sliced ham (about 6 slices) ended up with 6 packs of streaky bacon at 20 slices a pack. At least that one was freezable/eventually usable

I’ve also had orange scented bleach substituted when I ordered orange juice - almost completely useless

Worst one though that was absolutely useless was ordering a BLT sandwich & getting a salmon sandwich instead - everyone in our house is allergic to fish & shellfish

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Least-Conference9547@reddit

A female friend got lynx shower gel instead of tampons,she was like"yeah,i will just shove that up there to stem the flow"to the delivery driver!!!!

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SianyBabe@reddit

I would have been happy with Lynx. I once got baby nappies.

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ausernamebyany_other@reddit

At least that's vaguely in the ball park as something that absorbs bodily fluids!

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QuarantinisRUs@reddit

Friend of mine got mushrooms instead of tampons

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pajamakitten@reddit

Were they closed cup?

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Zal_17@reddit

Surely that's how you get a fungal infection?

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SapphiraeLupa@reddit

I had one bad, although not bizarre, experience with substitutions, and now I always select 'no substitutions' on my orders.

It does my head in that you can't CHOOSE your substitution. When I bought groceries online in South Africa, where online shopping is not nearly as developed as in the UK, the app has the option for you to pick what you want as a substitute in case an item is out of stock, or you can pick no substitute per item, rather than for the whole order. I can't understand why the UK grocery ordering systems haven't developed this feature.

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KittyTurquoise@reddit

Got a shedload of green beans instead of a bag of onions once. Like red onions, leaks, shallots, frozen onions would’ve been better. It was quite obvious the order was for a large bbq haha

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Round_Information_55@reddit

I once ordered a smoky bbq fajita kit and it was substituted with a pineapple. This was almost 10 years ago and I’ve still never quite figured that thought process out

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Routine-Pair-7829@reddit

Ordered the packet mix for making pizza bases.

The substitution was…

Suet dumpling mix.

Ahh yes, I just couldn’t wait to make my lovely suet based pizzas. Lovely with pepperoni on top.

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Etheria_system@reddit

This is why I shop at Ocado. I’m coeliac so can’t have most substitutions. They let you turn off substitutions or only have certain substitutions.

I tried doing an Asda online shop once and it was an absolute nightmare, they just swap things for any old shite.

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Agniology@reddit

Re:Ocado Same here.

We set substitutions off but have only ever had 3 missing items in 9 months.

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Etheria_system@reddit

The only thing I’ve had missing in the last year was a box of cat food and I order from them weekly. I find that they tend to say something isn’t available before you check out and that means the majority of the time you get what you order which is helpful.

Reading all the ridiculous substitutions people get from other places make me feel even happier about sticking with Ocado

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Agniology@reddit

Yep, Definitely sticking with them :)

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Desperate_Divide_988@reddit

Ohhhh…and we bought 17 large Toblerones in a row. No matter which flavour we went for, they sent us a different one. By Toblerone number 8 we didn’t even want them anymore but we had to see whether they’d ever send us the flavour we ordered 😂 We gave up before they did (we also have a buttload of Toblerone in our cupboard now!)

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Temporary_Eye_9758@reddit

It’s not the weirdest but my supermarket are doing some strange things with fruit over the last few weeks.

Ordered 1 x 300g of blueberries. They sent me 3 x 200g

Ordered 2 x 227g of strawberries. They sent me 2 x 600g

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Desperate_Divide_988@reddit

Had that a few times recently - the driver said that if the item I’ve ordered is not in stock, they now try to replace with bigger sizes if possible. And the smaller packs of berries often go out of stock quickly in our local supermarkets so we’ve been getting loads of free berries.

We’ve also been getting the same with meat too…it’s really weird but I’m not turning down free chicken breasts or topside steak.

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CocoRufus@reddit

Kitchen roll instead of cat litter. My mind was truly boggled

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Desperate_Divide_988@reddit

I mean, they gave you a way to clean it up, I guess? 😂

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CocoRufus@reddit

Well...yes...😳

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LumpyTelephone8067@reddit

Christmas crackers for cream crackers

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Desperate_Divide_988@reddit

Once ordered custard doughnuts and got a vanilla-scented candle.

Another time I ordered curry powder and they sent me oregano.

Please just…no.

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Not_Good_HappyQuinn@reddit

Ordered a mini whiteboard, they substituted it for white board pens ….. useless as I didn’t have a whiteboard!

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No-Extension-2378@reddit

This one made me laugh!

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TheSpyTurtle@reddit

Fresh strawberries: Strawberry lip balm.

C'mon dude

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RoyalConflict1@reddit

I once had a different size of nappies, that was probably my worst substitution.

My best was when I ordered one whole duck that was on offer but they sent me two organic large chickens instead

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AdLower3335@reddit

I was once given a 4 pack of baking potatoes in substitute for tobacco! I guess the picker was a Sir Walter Raleigh fan…

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PercySmith@reddit

When they are this absurd surely it's some minimum wage worker thinking fuck it and having a laugh right?

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Curiousferrets@reddit

Unfortunately not, we can't even get away with that. We'd be fired.

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Quailpower@reddit

It's an program that does the subs, not a worker

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nicowltan@reddit

It’s all nightshades, innit.

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Dazzling_Bat_Hat@reddit

Many (many) years ago Tesco subbed me a bag of potatoes for the 2 pints of milk I’d ordered. Not great when you are just back from holiday and dying for a cup of tea. Just why??

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radandro@reddit

i once had tescos substitute frozen mash potatoes for frozen croissants. i found it so funny i kept them 🤣

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Apprehensive_Ad4172@reddit

Not a supermarket substitution, but I ordered a curtain rail from Amazon and got sent a cricket set.

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shanypoos@reddit

Not a substitution but made me laugh. This was at the start of on-line supermarket ordering and we lived in a remote-ish area and the internet was...slow to say the least. Mum had ordered and 44 loaves of bread turn up, delivery man asks 'did you mean to order this many? ' the deep breath he took with eyes raised to the sky when I said 'she probably wanted 4' still stays with me till this day!

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Significant_Froyo899@reddit

Weed killer instead of rose feed. Both in a green bottle so…

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Dramatic-Energy-4411@reddit

A delivery driver once told me about a time scouring pads were substituted for sanitary pads.

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Chiliwidle@reddit

I have had veggie burgers replaced with frozen meat doner kebabs...

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Yodathefrenchie@reddit

Ordered a plug in air freshener, got a battery rechargeable charger

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StockholmGirl29@reddit

Ten, yes ten, large Lindt chocolate bunnies as a substitute for two Mars bar Easter eggs! I was thrilled! This was a Tesco online shop just before Easter.

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Yamahaha125@reddit

My son got his beef jerky substituted for dog beef jerky. His mates dog was his best friend all week.

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bill_end@reddit

At least he noticed. Reminiscent of that tabloid story about an elderly couple who had been buying "pate" for months until a guest came round and asked what they were doing with dog food and no dog

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Massive_Resource2887@reddit

I got AA instead of AAA because they decided to go for the same brand as I had selected rather than the same size of battery.

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ryan34ssj@reddit

I once bought a last minute secret Santa gift. It was a mug with some marshmallows and a sachet of hot chocolate. Instead I was sent a small frying pan that you use for eggs

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Squashface1@reddit

I got 3 peppers and 3 courgettes substituted with 6 cucumbers… I also ordered a cucumber. So I had 7 cucumbers.

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Miss_Type@reddit

I'd be alright with that, I love a cucumber.

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Squashface1@reddit

I think they assumed I must do too!

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testdasi@reddit

Reading all the comments reinforces my choice to disable substitute.

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lady_faust@reddit

I do.. less stress! Received batteries instead of sausage rolls once

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Infamous-Ordinary-39@reddit

I ordered paper plates for a party and got a pack of A4 paper from Sainsbury's.

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Striking_Example_394@reddit

I can see where they were going with this. Dried Bay leaves were subbed with Bayliss hand wash.

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BabyAlibi@reddit

Steak and kidney pie replaced my tiramisu 😐

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Original_Document748@reddit

they subbed my lactose free yogurt with normal yogurt

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Lopsided_Soup_3533@reddit

AA batteries for AAA batteries like i understand the logic but AA batteries won't fit in an AAA slot

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chroniccomplexcase@reddit

Full dairy eclairs (that burst and spread cream all over other foods) for vegan gyozas… I’m not only vegan but allergic to dairy and got all my shopping for free as had to send 4-5 items away covered in cream. Me and driver had a good laugh at where they got the idea that eclairs and gyoza were a sensible sub?!

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OverlyAdorable@reddit

We ordered toilet roll and got substituted bread. Then during lockdown, when people were panic buying toilet roll, my parents bought 5 loaves of bread, each one got substituted with packs of toilet roll

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jonathing@reddit

We had bread substituted with nothing. How can Sainsbury's have no suitable alternative to a loaf of bread.

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Wiggles_21@reddit

This literally happens to us almost every week with Asda! I've stopped even ordering bread, we just get it from the corner shop now

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fenney@reddit

Happened at my Sainsbury's not long ago. Bread delivery broke down, it was Sunday morning so shelves were sparse anyway, and we used up all the sensible substitutes. Ran out of all white sliced, then wholemeal, then most of everything else. There's no point sending out a milk loaf or a pack of Eccles cakes instead of a your govis, it's just going to come back and probably get damaged in transit, so we just weren't sending bread.

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sapphire-sky-dragon@reddit

Milk loaf is bread though so its better than no bread at all.

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sapphire-sky-dragon@reddit

Happened to me at tesco last week... just no bread good job I had some in the freezer

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Ghille_Dhu@reddit

We had something similar but with cheddar. There apparently was no cheddar in the whole of Tesco.

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phatboi23@reddit

tbh with supermarkets i can understand.

1 or two deliveries not making it can throw a whole lot off as they don't store all that much these days.

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ZombieGash@reddit

This happened to me with pita. I bought 2 white 2 brown. They gave me 1 white and 2 brown. Why not give me 3 brown or something else similar to pita? They have other brands 🫩

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Wiggles_21@reddit

10 years ago my husband moved to UK from Iceland and he'd never seen a coconut irl before, so I ordered one on Tesco to show him. They sent a pineapple

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Legit_Vampire@reddit

My friend order 2 punnets of strawberry's and got a cauliflower and parsnip as substitutes

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BelleMStevens@reddit

I work on Customer Services and had a customer return Mr Matey bubble bath. He had ordered Mates condoms.

We had another customer who received a small Toblerone instead of the 50g Old Holborn she’d ordered. Her exact words were “have you ever tried to light one of these f*ckers?”

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Captain_Stable@reddit

I had a friend (yes, one of those stories) who apparently once had shoe polish swapped for a single kiwi fruit.

Yes, took me a few minutes to work out the thinking behind this. >!The shoe polish is Kiwi brand!<

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Wild_Region_7853@reddit

I read this as supermarket superstition and could not figure out why anyone would have those

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mandykg@reddit

My flatmate once ordered tuna which was substituted for cat food. We didn’t have a cat!

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thombthumb84@reddit

It’s the same thing!

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Bright-Coconut-6920@reddit

Ordered coconut oil for my hair got sent goose fat

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Particlezen@reddit

I got marshmallows instead of micellar water from Morrisons

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ProfessorYaffle1@reddit

My personal favourite was the time they brought fish food (the little flakes) in place of the fish flavour cat food I ordered...

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MarsStar2301@reddit

My cats might not have minded that, they often used to try to eat fish flakes when they were kittens! (They still, thankfully, don’t seem to have sussed out that the fish in the tank are food, though…!)

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ProfessorYaffle1@reddit

Mine might have been willing to try it but I think he'd have been miffed if that was all that was on offer .

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Honest-Cover9513@reddit

Ha! I ordered tuna and they substituted cat food!

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Pearsepicoetc@reddit

I got bird seed in the place of "three bird roast" dog food.

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CandidLiterature@reddit

Mint scented foot cream received instead of fresh mint…

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jinglesan@reddit

Yup, got toothpaste instead of mint too

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ACharredCell@reddit

My friend got mint sauce instead of fresh mint... not exactly "weird", I suppose, but he was nonetheless unimpressed -- "I can't put this in my Pimm's!"

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phatboi23@reddit

you could... it'd make it worse... but you could. lol

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ACharredCell@reddit

Fair point 😂

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THXORY@reddit

I always select the option not to have substitutions these days

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learxqueen@reddit

Probably not that strange but I ordered blueberries at Christmas and instead got sent cranberries.

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glytxh@reddit

If I walk around in the opposite direction to what the store design herds people in, I become immune to impulse purchases and psychological manipulation.

Kinda motivated by spite, can’t lie.

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LuDdErS68@reddit

A white sliced loaf substituted for three packs of pitta bread. Sainsbury's. I didn't complain, I just laughed.

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Novel_Kooky@reddit

We had mushy peas in place of beef oxo cubes. And another time we had asparagus instead of daffodils!

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Zealousideal_Pop3121@reddit

When I used to nanny, the mum got a food delivery and they’d given her a Robbie Williams cd instead of the Norah Jones one she’d ordered.

There was another insane sub but I really can’t remember what it was. It’s bugging me 😂😂😂 but it was 22 years ago

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Crazyblondie11@reddit

Slightly different but I once got a random 3 tubs of Ben & Jerrys in my food shop, best day of my life!

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doegrey@reddit

I had this once and reluctantly handed them back to the driver. I figured the person wanting them would have been devastated to not have received them.

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Odd-Scallion-7553@reddit

I ordered an Indian spice mix to make a curry, and I got a bag of bombay mix.

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nick9000@reddit

My Sainsbury's delivery driver once told me that a customer ordered a Kiwi fruit and received Kiwi shoe polish.

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doegrey@reddit

I once ordered lemons for cocktails and received a lemon scented cleaner.

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BabynATrenchc0at@reddit

Vegan sausages replaced with meat gluten free sausages. On what planet...?

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veryblocky@reddit

I get the impression that, in the eyes of whatever system runs the supermarket, gluten free and vegan are the same thing.

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doegrey@reddit

Sadly that’s very true. Dairy as well. I’ve been to restaurants before where for dessert I got a banana snd and an apple.

I’m gluten intolerant. Don’t take my dairy away too! 😭

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Etheria_system@reddit

Coeliacs get vegan subs that we can’t eat as well.

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Broken_Woman20@reddit

Ah yes, the vegan/free from subs! As a household with vegans this is quite common. They don’t seem to understand that vegan and gluten free are very different things. Whilst a lot of free from things are often vegan as well, it’s not always the case.

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Diadem_of_Ravenclaw@reddit

I had spring onions substituted for a bunch of daffodils 🌼

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LF-04@reddit

Ordered dairy free ice cream, received full dairy diabetic ice cream.

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GreekVicar@reddit

I once got ground coffee when I asked for coffee filter papers

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NextTomatillo2335@reddit

Doughnuts for onion rings!

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-cunningstunt@reddit

My flatmate once got banana nesquik instead of bananas

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kettlecottage@reddit

I once asked the Tesco delivery man what the weirdest substitutions he'd seen were. He said he'd once seen a box of condoms subbed for a pregnancy test, and a bottle of suncream subbed for after sun.

As for the most ridiculous one I've had, we ordered a large variety of different cheeses one Christmas as we were hosting. Turns out they didn't have any left in stock, so they tried to deliver no less than 11 blocks of cheddar.

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EMILLKSLEEPA@reddit

I ordered some chicken breasts, they sent a 4 pack of thin sliced ham.

Customer service didn't care until I said I can't eat pork as it's not halal. Got a refund pretty fucking quick lol

Side note, I don't have any dietary concerns and definitely ate that ham.

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sunflowebloom@reddit

My favourite one was in lock down, my neighbour ordered anti septic wipes, the type you use in the kitchen. She received an anti septic cream for wounds! I just had visions of her rubbing it into the kitchen counter

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CauseOptimal8501@reddit

I bought a whole chicken once and they subbed it for sliced ham. Weird but would have been ok if my partner wasn’t deadly allergic to pork. Also a weird allergy.

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Miss_Type@reddit

So I read that as your weirdest supermarket superstition. I have to park in the same row of the car park, if you're interested!

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Hyperion2023@reddit

Sudocrem for crème fraiche

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Bungles_Balls@reddit

2 packs of size 4 nappies substituted with one pack of newborn and one pack of size 6. My friends bottle of Oyster Bay wine was substituted with oyster sauce.

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NighthawkUnicorn@reddit

They didn't have tampons so how about some chopped carrots?

Um thanks Asda

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meteoricboy@reddit

Ordered croutons and got salad dressing… same genre but yea not remotely the same product

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Mumof2wifeof1@reddit

Ordered a pumpkin. Received a garlic. Tbf they are the same shape 😳

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Legal_Ad_326@reddit

I ordered vegan sausage rolls and got a slab of Country Life butter instead

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tiptoe_only@reddit

I ordered a chopping board from my supermarket's homewares range and received a pair of scissors

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twofacetoo@reddit

From what I've heard most supermarkets will substitute stuff based on the price first, to avoid charging you more or less for what you ordered. So you'll order something like a 6-pack of toilet roll and instead get a bottle of coke, because it's the same price, so it's the same thing

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angels-and-insects@reddit

A mop bucket instead of a mop head, four times running. Very related, yes; in no way a practical substitute.

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WideGassySea@reddit

Years and years ago I got American Tan tights in place of some light bulbs.
Felt very random.

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NotSorryWeMissedYou@reddit

I’ve delivered someone’s shopping where they’ve ordered some jars of coffee, and they ended up with 2 bottles of cava somehow.

I feel a lot of these I ordered a few fish fillets and ended up with a jug of engine coolant subs are a bit dubious as

- Subs are generated on the pickers device automatically. They’re typically in the same aisle and a similar product.

- If the picker cannot find a suitable sub, it gets flagged for management to go out and find themselves, worse case scenario it’s not picked and the customer isn’t charged.

- certain items, like OTC medicines, cannot be subbed.

Also I’m pretty certain all supermarkets have the option to choose no to subs on specific items.

And no, putting a note in the section for delivery drivers does not mean you won’t get any subs. It might mean that your driver cannot find your house though!

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No_Eggplant_619@reddit

Honestly, this one was so bizarre it doesn't even sound real, but Ocado once substituted fancy bread with octopus tentacles

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Extra-Question9273@reddit

They were out of Covid tests so suggested a pregnancy test as a possible alternative

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Giddyup_1998@reddit

I don't allow substitutions.

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exhauated-marra-6631@reddit

Ordered a light bulb with my asda shop. Got substituted candles instead.

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ammym@reddit

Ordered gluten free soy sauce, it was substituted for vegan green pesto! This happened twice haha

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HalfAgony-HalfHope@reddit

I once wanted hot dogs and got tinned ham 🤷🏻‍♀️

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ChemistryWeary7826@reddit

4 pack of Tetleys bitter instead of tea bags.

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AcePlanespotting@reddit

Coffee for baby formula milk

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Wrong-Pizza-7184@reddit

When my daughter was at uni she ordered tampons. They sent chocolate.

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Divewench@reddit

Someone understands.....

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Divewench@reddit

Brown shoe polish for black shoe polish. Bottle of wine instead of cold relief capsules (liked that sub).

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LBunzz23@reddit

A friend once ordered a bag of tea lights (the candles) and it was substituted with a tin of tomato soup

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No_Cartoonist981@reddit

Only one odd one was martini for Prosecco, I don’t drink either but thought it was odd?

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jnnewbe@reddit

For a while, every time I ordered Cinnamon, they sent Cumin.

The most recent was when I ordered a Galaxy bar, just the snack size, because I was feeling all naughty and shit. They sent a 360g size one instead. Wish I could say I gave it back...but I powered through it like a champ.

I've definitely heard weirder ones though!

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shanna811@reddit

I ordered strawberries and a salad not a fruit salad the kind with lettuce.

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gemztar@reddit

Once ordered a 1 litre bottle of JD whiskey for a gift. Replaced with two 700cl bottles at no extra cost! I did not complain.

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KezzaK2608@reddit

14 litres of JD?... i wouldn't complain either.

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gemztar@reddit

70CL 😅I was still chuffed.

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KezzaK2608@reddit

Glad to hear it, a gift to give and a gift to keep 😃

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phatboi23@reddit

everyone's getting a hangover haha

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Escapedtothecountry@reddit

Christmas crackers subbed with cream crackers.

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yodellingposey@reddit

Brillo pads instead of sanitary pads

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phatboi23@reddit

i don't even have a vagina and winced at that.

oooooooof.

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Eyupmeduck1989@reddit

Oof

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ZombieGash@reddit

Ouch haha

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Honest-Cover9513@reddit

Oh, that's insane

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Crazyblondie11@reddit

Owwweee hahaha 🤣

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AdmirableAthlete8823@reddit

😳

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JonJo42@reddit

Jif Lemon Juice replaced with Jif Lemon Cream Cleaner. Pancake Day nearly ruined.

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newphone_newme@reddit

Around halloween i ordered 3 large pumpkins for the kids to carve. They sent 1 tiny one and 2 packs of paper pumpkin bunting. Not outrageous but I was entertained when the driver asked if he could photograph them as a group of drivers had a competition for the most ridiculous substitutes they were sent to deliver!

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randomguy1337@reddit

I used to be a delivery driver, I had a delivery into an army barracks, beer and obvious ingredients to make vodka jellys.

The gelatin was out of stock, so the computer decided fairy cake cases would work... The LCpl just decided to accept and try the mess hall for the missing gelatin instead.

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anemoneatnight@reddit

Bag of flour instead of a loaf of bread

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LordJebusVII@reddit

I ordered a single tin of branston beans, they substituted it for 4x4 packs of heinz beans because they were on offer. I told the driver I didn't want them, he said that he had taken them off the order but only 1 pack was listed so I could have the other 3 for free.

I ended up with 12 cans of beans for free because they substituted 1 can for 16. Not the strangest substitution I've had but the most interesting

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GunnerParky@reddit

Asda once subbed my daughter's sanitary pads for bread rolls.

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kumran@reddit

2 pies replaced with 5 pies.

Different filling but same brand, same size, and 3 more of them. No complaints but confusion.

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TheSecretIsMarmite@reddit

Incontinence pads instead of Calpol. Like, FFS.

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Squeak_Stormborn@reddit

I had a vegan pizza substituted for pork chops. Can't help but feel someone had fun with that one.

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ordinarybloke1963@reddit

scouring pads instead of toilet paper

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LadyInAllPower@reddit

Was meant to get chocolate Choux buns instead of eclairs. But I actually got toothpaste 🤷‍♀️😂

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sentient_custard@reddit

I asked for a dog grooming brush and they added a dustpan and brush

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Jumpy_Chemistry_417@reddit

Honestly, the logic behind some of these substitutions feels like a total lottery. The vegetarian swap for actual vegetarians is bad enough, but getting fish food instead of cat food is a whole new level of chaos. At least pease pudding for pate is a bit of a stretch, but I’d be fuming if my cat’s dinner turned up as aquarium flakes.

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abbieadeva@reddit

I ordered multivitamins for my toddler that were on 3 for 2. They subbed them for some expensive post menopause vitamins that weren’t on the offer but still sent me 3 boxes. It’s took my shopping to £35 more than it should be and rejected my payment cos I used a certain card for shopping and hadn’t budgeted that amount in the account.

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Musicola@reddit

Kids nappy pants substituted with a basketball.

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pandabearrose@reddit

Ordered freshly squeezed orange juice & got jif lemon bathroom mousse

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Frankifile@reddit

Pampers for san pro.

Even the driver was like WTF, and just sort of went I’ll errr take this back then.

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lodav22@reddit

Toddler sippy cup instead of toilet cleaner. The only thing I could see is that they both had “Duck” in the name of them. 🤷🏼‍♂️

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Ecstatic-World1237@reddit

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bolasaurus@reddit

Xmas food shop arrived a few days out from the day, just enough time to pop out and pick up anything that didn't show up. Good thing too because...

No swede, subbed for a cabbage. No carrots, subbed for a cabbage. No cauliflower, subbed for a cabbage. No parsnips... you get the idea.

I ended up with 5 cabbages total! I love cabbage so I kept them all. Was able to get the missing veg at the local co-op, but the Christmas cabbage-pocalypse will always stick in my memory.

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_ninja_cat_@reddit

Matchbox cars for a box of matches.

I get where they were coming from but I couldn’t give a box of matches to a 2 year old 🤣 My local Tesco are usually really good but this is one of the few subs I had to reject

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BeanOnAJourney@reddit

Not a substitution but a search suggestion: searched for "baby leeks", results said we have nothing matching your search. Did you mean "baby legs"?

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medlilove@reddit

My housemate once did an order from Sainsbury’s and in it ordered a mattress protector for a double bed they substituted it for two single bed mattress protectors….

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mhoulden@reddit

Sainsbury's has a curry meal deal: 2 premium starters and mains for £15. Or it would be if they sent the right items. I handed things back because what they substituted made the whole thing £30 more expensive. Another time I ordered a lunch meal deal with an apple strudel slice. I got a carrot and hummus dip pack instead.

A driver told me about someone who ordered a toothbrush and got a hairbrush instead.

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Inverclacky@reddit

When I used to get online shopping I would order 4 loaves of bread and put 3 in the freezer. One time they subbed 48 (8 packs of) breadcakes instead. I kept 2 packs and sent the rest back. I was still laughing after he left.

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Aphra_@reddit

A plastic washing up bowl was substituted for a ceramic pasta bowl

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Royal_Damage5006@reddit

Not that weird but I just got fresh lasagne sheets replaced by fresh tagliatelle. I’m not sure where to still attempt making lasagne or not. It’s still pasta I suppose!

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paulcager@reddit

They should have thrown in a tube of glue as well. DIY lasagne.

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nikokazini@reddit

Ordered builders black tea bags, got decaf instead

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skratakh@reddit

Durex strawberry lube instead of lurpack butter. This was for an office order.

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RetroBoxRoom@reddit

We’ve had raw Turkey steaks, swapped for Bernard Matthews Turkey Ham.

Beef stakes swapped for Quorn.

One Christmas we ordered a Christmas cake, only for it to be swapped for a far larger one. Only for the original Christmas cake to turn up as well.

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jinglesan@reddit

A big cake and a little cake? Sounds like it ended in tiers

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RetroBoxRoom@reddit

Nah, just a big cake - a little cake - and a sore tooth. Sadly the dance moves didn’t catch on that New Years.

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LayingInBracken@reddit

A Christmas miracle!

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cds2612@reddit

Cat food for tomato puree

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CrazyPlatypusLady@reddit

I dunno, it's a toss up between a miniature normal Hovis loaf in place of a gluten free loaf, or sanitary towels switched out for... Drumroll... Economy toothpaste.

I'm not entirely certain how the second one happened because surely it's not actually possible for a system to tell you to grab that?! Or was the picker working on their own initiative and if so, were they dropped from space within the last 12 hours?

We'll never know.

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SilverellaUK@reddit

Marigold gloves for bananas.

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reciprocatingocelot@reddit

I once asked for BabyBio ( a brand of plant food) and got weed killer. That's the exact opposite!

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SirDiesel1803@reddit

During covid I ordered a pack of 20 benson and hedges gold 100s

They sent on substitution 100 benson and hedges silver.

Great great day 80 free fags.

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Scared_Experience688@reddit

Ordered a shepherd's pie mix, got a bottle of Radox shower gel.

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east_cam@reddit

It was over lockdown.

Ordered: aubergine Received: cavolo nero

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FloofyRaptor@reddit

In the very early days of Tesco delivery I help my friend unpack and instead of a bottle of washing up liquid she received a enormous bag of cat litter.

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Super_Ground9690@reddit

More just mildly frustrating was when they brought me, a then-heavily pregnant person, beer with alcohol instead of the alcohol-free beer I ordered.

The driver started telling me the substitution, glanced up and saw my huge belly, and went “I guess you’ll want to send that one back then” 😂

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SuperExstatic@reddit

Years ago we had an 8 pack of Coca Cola replaced by a 24 pack of Coca Cola , now they just say out of stock no substitute

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anxious_antelope813@reddit

They once have me Venus razor refills instead of my cauliflower. Utterly baffling.

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hobbleit@reddit

I haven’t had any weird substitution, but at work someone orders nappies, which we didn’t have, and the Justeat app suggested fabric softener as a substitution.

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Broken_Woman20@reddit

Fresh tomato for tomato ketchup.

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D0wnb0at@reddit

Instead of a frozen pizza I got a bag of something frozen, was like yams or something, some type of foreign vegetable which looked like pealed potatoes.

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YoungGazz@reddit

Nappies instead of Baby Wipes, not the best alternative makeup remover.

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TimedDelivery@reddit

Nipple shields for breast pads.

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WhyN0tToast@reddit

Ordered some dark green paint from Asda, got sent a dark purple paint instead.

Not that weird but funny that someone thought the colour doesn't really matter as long as they get some paint!

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bopeepsheep@reddit

Marmite for loo roll. Everyone involved was baffled.

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ASpookyBitch@reddit

Wait.. every time I see it on the shelves I always wonder who is actually buying it…

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ThisIsAnAccount2306@reddit

Talking about pease pudding, around 1999 my father found a tin of it in the back of a cupboard that went out of date in 1988. Thing is, we moved house in 1992, meaning he transported a 4 years out of date tin of pease pudding from one house to another.

Never had any "weird" substitutions. They did once try to give me a 250g jar of marmite for the same price as the 500g jar I ordered (which was on offer). I rejected it and went marmiteless out of Principle.

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plant-strong@reddit

I got sent Durex instead of Duracell once.

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Weezlecheesle@reddit

I’ve had two:

Frozen raspberries for a raspberry and white chocolate ice cream.

But the worst I think was a crispy duck and I was given duck fat.

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Nature-Medicine-888@reddit

Potato salad instead of a jar of olives

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Warm-Reference-4965@reddit

A friend ordered beef mince to make spaghetti bolognese. She was sent a couple of cheap steaks instead

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Mrmagicdan@reddit

I once ordered some frozen Yorkshire puddings. (I tend to make most things myself but can’t be arsed with those!) Instead I got a bag of frozen roast potatoes. They’re very different things. And if I wanted potatoes I’d of ordered potatoes! 🤦🏼‍♂️🤷🏼‍♂️ I did eat them and they weren’t too bad.

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Violent-Moth@reddit

At Easter we had a pack of lemon fondant fancies substituted for a huge chocolate cake

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