When you get really old, do you plan to say goodbye to loved ones in good time?

Posted by ApprehensiveRun1382@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 17 comments

Happy weekend guys,

Here’s something to ponder.

Will you do a sort of farewell tour once you feel that day coming.

Your close family you’ll probably see up till the end. But what about friends that you don’t see much?
Maybe a sibling who’s just as old and immobile as you?

As strange as it is, don’t you want to give a proper goodbye rather than drift away?

[-]

Top_Classic8445@reddit

Cause we all go anyway, I'ma say goodbye today

[-]

In my experience you don't necessarily know the day is coming. Mum stroked out one night, no warning. Grandad had a heart attack without warning. Uncle had a heart attack out on the farm, at 43. Cousin took his own life at 22. Nan lived to 103, spent 20 years saying goodbye on visits thinking it might be the last time.

You might as well make sure you're saying the important things every day, cos you never know when something will happen. There might be a bus with your name on it right around the next corner.

[-]

snakeoildriller@reddit

True, and I've often been the victim of "we better have [unpopular relative] to stay for Christmas - it may be their last one". Of course it wasn't.

[-]

firthy@reddit

The unpopular ones go on for ever…

[-]

moreidlethanwild@reddit

A friend had a “living wake” a few months ago. Basically a wake but he was there. He arrived to his funeral entrance song, friends took time to share their favourite stories and memories, everyone drank too much and had a blast.

Definitely going to do similar!!

[-]

FreeBogwoppits@reddit

My neighbour threw huge parties at age 90 and 95 as his Farewell events. After the age 95 party he went home, went to bed and died in his sleep.

My grandfather had a parade of people through the house doing "firm handshake" and "all the best" when he was close to the end. He was 86, and there were lots of visitors who travelled the length of the country to carefully not say the word goodbye.

As for me, no. Even if I know my departure date and I'm healthy enough to see people, it's no. Relationships fade naturally, I'm not spending my last days performing for other people.

[-]

Morganx27@reddit

I don't think so, I don't think anyone knows it's coming with that degree of certainty. Imagine if you did your tearful final farewell and then lived another 6 months, it'd be like when you say bye to your friend and end up walking the same way.

[-]

Short-Shopping3197@reddit

Nah fuck em. The best thing about being dead is letting other people deal with shit for a change.

[-]

Competitive_Test6697@reddit

Make some videos for them to see when you're gone

[-]

w0tth3f00k@reddit

Everyone I’ve loved who has passed has died instantly so I’ve never experienced the chance of saying goodbye to them. I would hope my loved ones get that opportunity with me. Being able to say goodbye truly is a gift.

[-]

Federal-Mortgage7490@reddit

not really, it would be too sad. I could imagine saying the nice things to them like it's been great having you as a friend all these years etc etc but when it's time to leave and you are on the doorstep about to turn around it would be 😭. Would be traumatic. Death is traumatic enough.

[-]

RoutineAbroad3486@reddit

I just make sure I let everyone know I love them and that I appreciate them, I’m only 32 but life is fragile and I’d rather people know now just how much they mean to me.

[-]

CMR1891@reddit

I’ve got death anxiety. Every time I speak to people I realise that it might be my last time. I wasn’t brought up in a household that professes love, but everytime I see anyone, I try to make them know that I appreciate them. I do the same when texting my friends too and they think I’m weird because I’ve never told them my inner thoughts!

[-]

When replying to submission/post please make genuine efforts to answer the question given. Please no jokes, judgements, etc. If a post is marked 'Serious Answers Only' you may receive a ban for violating this rule.
Don't be a dick to each other. If getting heated, just block and move on.
This is a strictly no-politics subreddit!

Please help us by reporting comments that break these rules.

I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please contact the moderators of this subreddit if you have any questions or concerns.