Missing my Mom… tell me your lovely “Mom” memories.
Posted by Mountain_Crab0813@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 23 comments
Coming up on the 6 year anniversary of her passing. (MS is a bitch). While it is somewhat lighter heading into this dreadful anniversary, I still struggle with the “what ifs” (remember that Shel Silverstein poem?)
My therapist suggested writing down any happy memory that popped into my head the past couple of months - to re read when I feel those sad feelings hit, and it’s helped.
I would love to hear stories of your Moms that make you smile. I’ll start …
Mom would hide the TV Guide from us before we got home from school. We weren’t allowed to randomly scroll channels, so we would spend time hunting for it, get bored of that - and go outside to play instead. Great parenting tactic Mom… miss you still.
Imadethis23@reddit
My mom taught us girls (three of us) independence. She didn't raise any sissy's. We can drive stick, haul firewood, earn our own paycheck and so much more. Phooey on waiting for a man to take care of us. She's been gone almost 16 years and I miss that woman every day.
itsshakespeare@reddit
When I was about twelve, I was off sick from school - it was summer, and I was so fed up about it. My Mum sat me outside with a blanket (because I was cold even though it was sunny) and gave me a romance novel and poured me a small glass of cider. She said it was her favourite way to relax. I felt so grown up and happy she was sharing it with me. Sending lovr
alex_dare_79@reddit
The phone calls, not quite daily between us, but almost daily, and if more than a few days, one of us immediately thought something was as wrong. Could be about something important, could be about the mundane details. God I miss those calls.
Karate_Lauren@reddit
My mom has been gone for 10 years and I miss her so much. If I was going through some issue or problem in my life she knew just what to say to make me think. It must have been a mother-daughter thing. And she would always brush my long hair and that was my favorite thing.
Fit_Subject_3256@reddit
My mom was a total original. She was silly, funny, brilliantly smart, and had a huge heart. She was a very hard working single mother who went back to school and earned two university degrees while my sister and I were little. She waited tables at night and went to school during the day. She was such a role model!
My fave mom story - one rainy day, my mom offered to drive us to our school bus stop. I was probably abt 8 yo and my sister was 6. My mom drove to our bus stop but kept driving right past it! Of course, we yelled, “mom, you missed our stop!” But mom kept driving, in silence but with a big grin on her beautiful face. She drove like that for a good 45 minutes until we saw where we were headed - Disneyland! My mom played hooky that day and so did we. We were so poor we couldn’t afford souvenirs or even to eat at Disneyland that day. But we were thrilled to be there and we are bagged lunches quite happily. We spent the whole day at Disneyland with my mom that day, in the rain. I’ll never forget it and it taught me the importance of surprise, fun outings with my own children.
try-catch-finally@reddit
On my wedding day, told the rest of the wedding party she’d would “disown me if I got my ear pierced”
I was 21M at the time. She later told me “I just don’t want my neighbors to think my son is a homosexual”
Later, when my adult daughter came out, she commented on her Facebook page “this ISNT what it looks like, is it?”
Oh growing up there was the old “look at my hand- I broke a blood vessel when I slapped you” or better “I cut my hand on your braces when I slapped you”
Yeah. Some of you have decent moms. Some of us prayed to be put in an orphanage-
Taminella_Grinderfal@reddit
My mom used to love to do wacky holiday things and they didn’t end when I grew up. One of the significant ones I recall, when I turned 35, I was given a handmade treasure map to follow around the property to find my birthday gift. 🤣 it was cash, and I still have the “treasure chest”.
wmmforbes@reddit
Showing up at a pool hall at midnight looking for me with curlers in her hair and a night gown. miss her
Formal_Plum_2285@reddit
My 7th birthday. My birthday is in July. This particular year, it was so hot. So instead of having the kids at our house, my mom took us all to the beach. She had brought lunch and watermelon and we played in the waves all day. We got to pick which icecreams/popsickles we wanted twice that day. And when it was time to go home, she revealed huge bags of pick and mix candy for each of us. It was 45 years ago and still the best day of my life.
Mountain_Crab0813@reddit (OP)
She’s smiling right now somewhere thinking “the pick and mix was a home run”. I love this.
umeboshiplumpaste@reddit
My mom is still here and doing well. But I am endlessly grieve-y about so much that I'm crying daily and constantly throughout, and spending a great deal of time in the time machine of my mind with my inner child.
Something I just did a couple weeks ago was buy two bottles of the perfume she wore in the 80s. I found them on Facebook Marketplace for $5 each opened. I was so freaking excited. And when I got them and opened them in the front seat, I burst into tears.
They are an instant time portal to my mom when I was little...the smell of her coat in the downstairs hallway closet, and the way I'd dig through her coat pockets looking for coins and her half eaten packs of Velamints...the smell of her bedroom in the summer when the A/C was on, and how I'd walk into her room past her closet to her vanity and look at her perfumes and makeup while she was at work. I have literally been opening the perfume boxes every morning when I get up and every night before bed, like a new ritual. A time machine to my childhood mom, back before the divorce and before everything went to hell. It's a smell of my mom but also a smell of time, of safety, of so many things.
She's only 30 minutes away in the car, but I need the version of my childhood mom, too. And the perfume gives me that.
Do you have any perfumes or make-up, or something sensual/sensory that can let you be with your mom in tiny moments when you miss her?
Mountain_Crab0813@reddit (OP)
Gosh, yes. The smells of things. My Mom adored that “sun, moon & stars” perfume. I haven’t smelled it in years - that’s a good idea! I thank you for this.
umeboshiplumpaste@reddit
Oh, I'm thrilled for you to buy it and get to "see" her again ❤️! It's instantaneous comfort and sadness. But it's so special. If you buy some of those felt adhesive pads meant for furniture legs, you can also make your drawers, closet, and car smell good with the perfume.
BottleAgreeable7981@reddit
Besides having her to talk to, I miss her baking and a few trademark meals she'd make for special occasions.
She always supported my school events whereas my dad did not, and this has made me very active in my daughter's school stuff, especially band.
I was a band kid, she's a band kid and it's fun to help out.
Mountain_Crab0813@reddit (OP)
Band kids are the best (former band kid here).
butterflygardyn@reddit
My memories of my mom are everyday memories. She was always there. At home you could find her either in the kitchen or in her sewing room. Later, after I grew up, she was always on the other end of the phone. She was the only other person who was excited to know every detail of my babies' lives.
My mom was the best napper. She would read every afternoon and take a 20 minute nap. I can remember being little and playing outside and telling friends we couldn't go inside til mom's naptime was over.
Mountain_Crab0813@reddit (OP)
My Dad had a sign he would put on our door that said “mom is napping”. Glad I wasn’t the only one!
Lost_Taste_8181@reddit
Back before cell phones, I was around 17 or 18 and went out to dinner with my friends at a place like Sizzler or something. A waiter came up to me , asked if I was _, then told me my mom was on the phone. I immediately panicked, figuring it must be something like my dad died because no way would she go to the trouble of tracking me down like that otherwise.
Nope. She was calling to tell me that she had left a video they rented in the car, and to please drop it off at the house after we ate so they could watch it. The movie? “Indecent Proposal.”
Gonna tell that story at her funeral one day.
Mountain_Crab0813@reddit (OP)
🤣 This has to be a regular story at holidays… “remember that time…”
MaximumJones@reddit
My mom was an extremely abusive alcoholic, which is why I do not drink.. Thanks mom! 😎
Mountain_Crab0813@reddit (OP)
I am sorry to hear this, but happy you realized the cause and made changes for yourself.
Hot_Rock@reddit
I was struggling in school and the English teacher assigned us to write a longish short story. I don’t remember the specifics but I knew I’d never be able to do it. I was very stressed already have severe emotional problems and she knew it. So she sat down that night and wrote one for me. About how aliens had come down and infected two teenagers with a mysterious illness everyone was worried and so forth and so on. Last page the story took a twist when reader found out that teenagers were actually Martians and the aliens were humans and the illness was just the common cold. It’s was very very good. I got a double A plus and never said a word to anyone about it but her. It tears me up every time I think about it. She passed in 1993.
Mountain_Crab0813@reddit (OP)
This is so fantastic ❤️