ULPT Request - Dog peeing on my hydrangea

Posted by meaniemuna@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 57 comments

I have a Limelight Hydrangea that I received 2 years ago as a gift. I absolutely love this hydrangea and it sits right in my front yard surrounded by a ring of lavender. I spend a lot of time caring for this plant and the other plants in my garden, its a hobby I enjoy immensely

We have new neighbors that moved in some time over winter. They have a large young Malamute, probably a year old. They take this dog on several walks a day, which is great, but he's been pissing on my hydrangea. Its starting to turn the leaves yellow. I had to stop using Liquid Fence (we have deer) because he would stop to piss on it MORE when I did.

I got an emitter thing, the one that flashes lights and a high pitched sound. The dog is now attacking the emitter and ripping it out of the ground, THEN pissing on the hydrangea

I've talked to the owners and told them to stop allowing their dog to do this twice now. They pretend to understand but have made no changes

I've also tried citrus peel, cayenne pepper, and fox urine. Anything I put on there just increases the amount of piss

I don't want to hurt the dog, it's really not his fault. I need ideas please!

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kawaiian@reddit

Sign that says Lawn Chemicals in Use - For your safety, please keep animals and children off lawn

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Houseleek1@reddit

Pretty solid idea. It may work well enough to stop them for the length of time it takes to break the habit.

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john_the_fetch@reddit

Lots of ideas for the dog. Which I like. But there's also a problem with the owners...

If you can plant a barrier of weeds between the sidewalk and the hydrangea. Select weeds that get stuck in dog fur. You likely know of some in your area that stick to your shoes like velcro.

This shouldn't really hurt the dog at all (unless the owners really suck). But it will be such a pain in the ass for the owners to clean out of their malamut fur. And they have A LOT of fur.

They'll steer clear of your lawn. Even avoiding that route entirely.

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OldMetalHead@reddit

My old neighbor swore by this method. I haven't tried it, but I trust this guy's common sense.

Buy a capped piece of pip and fill it with quick lime.
Bury it vertically in front of where you don't want the dog to go to the bathroom. The pipe opening should be about level with the soil. The pipe prevents the quick lime from degrading too fast or all leaching into the soil.
Refill with a funnel as needed.

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sajaschi@reddit

Drizzle honey around the hydrangea and on the edge of the nearest sidewalk. This will attract (potentially bitey) ants AND be a big ol sticky mess when the dog walks in it and gets honey (and probably ants) all over itself. Malamutes have super thick fur so it would be a real chore for the owners to have to bathe it after every walk. Also I think ants give off a chemical scent that is pretty unpleasant to cats and dogs. And after experiencing ant bites, dog might be more cautious.

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sajaschi@reddit

Maybe more ethical but still not great: Try putting rotten meat juice along the OTHER side of the sidewalk so the dog is more attracted to spots further from your hydrangea?

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PtZamboat@reddit

Pour fish emulsion on the area closest to where he approaches your garden. The smell of it undiluted is enough to make him puke. Lasts a long time. Careful if your house is downwind, seriously don’t want that smell near you

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econ40@reddit

My dog rolled in fish emulsion and then jumped on the bed to share his good work with us.

0/10- do not recommend this strategy

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ProdigalNun@reddit

Dogs like stinky stuff... the more it smells, the better. My dog rolled all over a decomposing fish. Maybe it would have the opposite effect?

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zamfire@reddit

Yea that's actually great. Dog rolls in nasty and the owner has to deal with it. Win win

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Knitsanity@reddit

🏅

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NetWorried9750@reddit

My dog loves that stuff, would roll in it if I let him

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phallic-baldwin@reddit

Try coffee grounds near the base of the plant. The dog make not like the smell and stay away while the gounds will be good for fertilizer

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ArtSlug@reddit

Starbucks gives away 5lb bags of coffee grounds for fertilizer! Hydrangeas LOVE IT.

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Knitsanity@reddit

We have a really good, albeit slightly boring for this sub, solution.

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Foozoolalafdarian420@reddit

Dogs hate this one trick!

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Knitsanity@reddit

Send your husband over to piss on their front door. Whilst maintain eye contact with their Ring.

Obviously a joke. Do not do this....seriously. 😂😂

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Imaginary_Guarantee@reddit

Hang a camera really obviously there where it can film the owners and the dog. Many people don't like to be filmed while being an asshole.

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meaniemuna@reddit (OP)

I have a camera and have shown them the footage. They really do not care at all

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NetWorried9750@reddit

Good fences make good neighbors

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sajaschi@reddit

Have you posted it on your neighborhood/city Facebook and Nextdoor pages? I would literally post the footage every single time. Do you know their names? You should absolutely Name & Shame if you can.

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AffectionateMarch394@reddit

Stand outside with a hose and "water" the hydrangea whenever they are out with the dog. Make sure you use a WIDE spray.

Bonus points, it should rinse the pee right off.

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bigdave41@reddit

Don't even pretend - just turn the hose directly on the dog and the owner every time they come past

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SpoonFed_1@reddit

"and the owner".... lmao

yeah, the dog does not need to be educated, it's the owner that needs it

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bigdave41@reddit

I mean the dog is attacking random devices on other people's property, if the owner won't train it then getting blasted with water might function as aversion training

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Jacktheforkie@reddit

Those devices are literally painful to my ears, likely just as bad for the dog

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sajaschi@reddit

That's the point tho

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Jacktheforkie@reddit

They’re absolutely useless for their intended purpose and just serve to be an absolute nightmare for young people

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dungonyourtongue@reddit

Report to animal control via email what is happening and that you have told the owners to stop allowing it. Photograph/video all future incidents and make report for every occurrence.

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DuckyDoodleDandy@reddit

Motion video camera, like a trail camera. In a good spot to capture the action, but not where it can be easily accessed by others.

Plus a little fence around the bush.

Publish photos of the neighbor letting his dog use your bush as a toilet everywhere.

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sajaschi@reddit

This is way too ethical for this sub LOL

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Indigo-Dusk@reddit

You need something that dogs don't like to make it want to leave. I think they don't lile the smell of spices. The stronger, the better. Also, I think they hate coffee grounds. Surround your plant with it, and I'd go as far as putting a shit ton around the edge of your yard. Make it so the dog doesn't even want to enter.

Also, if you see the owner, spray their ass with some Liquid Ass. You gave them a chance.

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KarinsDogs@reddit

Coffee Grounds will change the color of the Hydrangeas. Dogs hate the following USUALLY: Citrus, Peppermint, Plain Black or White Ground Pepper. There a product called Fooey. Not sure if it’s safe for plants. I’m a Dog Trainer. Good Luck.

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Indigo-Dusk@reddit

Thanks for the addition

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mladyhawke@reddit

Is there enough room to put a small fence around it?So the dog can't get so close

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Rich-Canary1279@reddit

I second this. Use small decorative fencing, preferably with spikes on top to deter the dog stepping over it, and place out a ways to prevent the dog from just peeing on the bush through the fence. Works great. Eventually the dog might forget about the bush and you can remove it. Better yet, put it all around your yard - a lot cheaper than a full on fence but still shows clearly you're not okay with people letting their dog wander into your front lawn (I think it's really rude people do this anyways - let your dog use the side step for a toilet!). You can get a short enough one it can still be stepped over by people and bigger dogs, but most creatures are interested in paths of least resistance.

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fingers@reddit

Get a small ryobi leaf blower. Always leaves to blow.

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fingers@reddit

Start vacuuming the sidewalk.

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fingers@reddit

Fight dog puss with dog shit. Get some fake dog shit you can put on the sidewalk so they begin going the other way.

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Jacktheforkie@reddit

Electric fence, that dog won’t piss there more than a few times after getting shocked

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Jacktheforkie@reddit

Those devices are beyond useless, they’re more a hazard as they cause serious pain to those who can hear it

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Critical_Cat_8162@reddit

Motion detector sprinkler

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fingers@reddit

Water balloon fights are awesome!

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fingers@reddit

Do you have disgruntled children who need water guns in your house?

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YESmynameisYes@reddit

I planted stinging nettle for the lovely foliage. But I may be slightly more flexible with my definition of hurt- it is definitely an irritant to dogs as well as humans.

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alwaysabouttosnap@reddit

Don’t use a motion sprinkler. Use a sprinkler that requires you to activate it (either with a remote or an app). Then literally sit there and wait for them to walk up so the dog can piss, and nail them with the sprinkler.

Time to get petty even if it costs a little bit of time.

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CrossFitMathIsHard@reddit

Motion activated sprinkler.

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meaniemuna@reddit (OP)

I forgot to mention that we tried that (it was $50) and got the Amazon guy twice. And my kids constantly

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BalognaMacaroni@reddit

Have the Amazon guy or your kids pissed on your hydrangeas ever since? Sounds like it’s working exactly as intended

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meaniemuna@reddit (OP)

You're right. How could I overlook that

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Tinmanwpk@reddit

Absolutely.

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jagger129@reddit

Put a ring of something that looks like Ice Melt around the whole thing. Tell the neighbor that you’ve done this and that it’s toxic to dog’s paws because it is. It causes burning and if they lick it off, it is toxic. Then put a tiny sign that says poison or a skull and crossbones. Tell them you are not responsible for their vet bill if they allow their dog to walk on the ice melt to get to your hydrangeas

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SpoonFed_1@reddit

Black Pepper

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Bratchan@reddit

Course the simple solution is motion sensor sprinkler... course camera so you can see that beautiful thing happy to them.

OK hear me out. Stuff animal dog on a stiff leash. So you can 'walk it'. You rig that bad boy up with a sprayer so it looks liek its pissing. Even as cheep as a hose with a sqeeze thing like the flowers that squirt water. You walk you knew dog into their yard and you have that sweet new little doggy you got to piss fox piss(or fish fertlizer) on what ever you want of theirs. Oh no im sorry my dog just pisses where he wants like you car door etc. Yeah i know it smells bad dog got an infection. So you can go for a stuff animal that looks real or you go fake as fuck.

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