Supposed to meet up with my friend - they’ve not turned up. What do I do?

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oh_f-f-s@reddit

I'd go around and knock if you know where she lives. She might be hurt or something.

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flangeflangeflanges@reddit

If a friend asked you this question, what would you advise them to do?

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Happy-Possibility-@reddit

I’d message any mutuals, or if you know any of her siblings or parents. It sounds like this is out of the ordinary behaviour for her, so I’d want to check and make sure she’s ok.

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lilfaeri@reddit (OP)

Sadly we don’t have any mutual friends and I don’t know her family so I’m really not sure who to contact or what to do.

It does feel out of the ordinary, but then again I’ve not seen her for a few months so I keep second guessing myself and wondering if I’m just over reacting

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I think you should message her politely and say that you're heading home. If you're nearby or you can get to her house, maybe check in on her. Not in an invasive way, just to make sure she's okay. Obviously, if you're truly, deeply concerned, request a welfare check.

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Mission-Sound9493@reddit

I mean, it's highly likely she's just overslept? I would not jump to friendship ending conclusions quite yet.

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CellistLow8857@reddit

Do you have any mutual friends?

At this point I’d probably send one more message saying “I’m going to head home, I really hope you’re ok. I assume something must have come up, let’s re-arrange for another time! Please let me know you’re alright though xx”

And then follow up this evening or tomorrow.

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lilfaeri@reddit (OP)

No we don’t have any mutuals.

Thank you, that sounds like a good idea. What should I do if I still don’t hear from her though?

I’m not sure whether I should be worried or just assume she doesn’t want to speak to me

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AllThatIHaveDone@reddit

If you're genuinely worried, then contact the police and request a 'safe and well' check.

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Broken_Woman20@reddit

I don’t know your history but given that you only messaged yesterday and agreed on 10am I doubt she doesn’t want to speak to you. If that was the case she would have made an excuse as to why she couldn’t make it today.

My guess is she’s forgotten, got the time wrong or something came up. I would head home at this point and just let her know you hope she’s okay but you’ve gone home now.

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geeadamg@reddit

I would say wait around and don't worry - can you get or do you have a book with you?

If you have social media and a mutual connection then a quick message to them to say something like "I should have met X at 10am but they've not arrived. No reply when I tried calling them. Don't want to intrude but just wanted to make you aware it's unusual behaviour for them in my experience".

You can easily oversleep, forget, double book when it's not a routine.

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