ULPT Request - getting back at upper management
Posted by cycolyst@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 26 comments
So we negotiated a raise (we are behind comparable jobs by 30%) took us a long time but we were able to negotiate a whopping 2% and 3% over two years. We heard all of the typical excuses like we can't afford it, it doesn't look good to our shareholders etc. After we got our raise and it was implemented upper management gave themselves a 15 to 30% raise. We are signed into a 2-year contract so we can't strike, want some good ways to get back at the company over the next two years, without giving individuals away who are performing the unethical life pro tips.
stabbingrabbit@reddit
Run for Union office. Get a better contract. Tie your pay to upper management.
cycolyst@reddit (OP)
Going to have to play the long game on that one
elite_meimei@reddit
Write a letter to the editor or have an interview with a local newspaper. Try and tank their public image?
Start feeding birds in the parking lot next to management's cars until the birds regularly poop all over them. Put vaseline or motor oil on the inside edge of all their office door handles. Swap all their pens for dead ones - when they replace them, do it again. Mysteriously have the printer/copier go down every day. Contact an orphanage or children's charity in the company's name and promise an enormous donation and organize a massive publicity event around it.
cycolyst@reddit (OP)
That's what I'm talking about 😜
rokar83@reddit
Make friends with the janitorial staff. Start working late. One night have the janitorial staff leave open management offices. Disassemble their chairs. Put frozen shrimp in center of chair. Also put frozen shrimp in any cavity you can find and reseal in their offices.
elite_meimei@reddit
this is beautiful
Different-Phone-7654@reddit
Orbees they will pay you in plumbing.Â
cycolyst@reddit (OP)
I feel like this punishes the janitorial and maintenance staff, although I like the idea. Management would of course have to pay for it
Different-Phone-7654@reddit
Janitors and maintenence defiantly don't have a snake in the shop.Â
UpsetMarsupial@reddit
Have a read of the Simple Sabotage Field Manual. It was written by the US govt during WWII and declassified in 2008.
https://gutenberg.org/cache/epub/26184/pg26184.txt
cycolyst@reddit (OP)
Definitely will read, implementation will depend
Fuzzy-Comedian-2697@reddit
Work appropriately for your pay.
You make 30% less than market rate?
You work 30% less than standard.
This isn’t even unethical, it‘s just equivalent exchange. Can’t expect top employees for shitty pay. If they cancel the contract, make 30% more at the competition.
cycolyst@reddit (OP)
Thank you, I have implemented this one
YESmynameisYes@reddit
I read recently about a disgruntled former employee leaving a great many fake reviews on glassdoor. Reviews saying the environment was really supportive, the benefits robust, the perks extensive, the pay amazing. And that as a result the company had hiring problems for many years afterwards.
paulmp@reddit
How does that cause hiring problems?
FragrantArt8270@reddit
When candidates hear what the company offers for the job and it doesn't match the great reviews, they will be dissatisfied and walk away.
TongsOfDestiny@reddit
The French found an amazing solution to this sort of problem about 230 years ago
ComfortablyMild@reddit
No, this is ULPTs...
TongsOfDestiny@reddit
Oops you're right, thought it was r/illegallifeprotips
ThisAppsForTrolling@reddit
Damn…. r/subsifellfor
sweetalkersweetalker@reddit
It used to be an active sub, IIRC.
SundayRed@reddit
Be really good at your job and move somewhere else.
I_Be_Strokin_it@reddit
That's not unethical. Know what sub you're in.
Green_Yesterday3054@reddit
Quit and make 28% more at a competitor.
27onfire@reddit
Get a few burners and create havoc at home for your management team.Â
I'm order to do this you have to really sell it.. don't half ass the affairs.Â
Go All In.Â
Maybe be the affair partner in a few. Kill that lust and revenge @ once.Â
ComfortablyMild@reddit
File a formal complaint against the top person in your management through their HR system. It lowers their KPIs.