Where would you hide the following sized items at home? A SIM card/ microSD, an orange, and a bag of sugar

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miffyonabike@reddit

My house is so messy I could just throw stuff like that in a cupboard and it'd take months to find

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SpudFire@reddit

Sd card in the bag of sugar. Bag of sugar inside a bag of flour in the kitchen cupboard.

I'll leave the orange under the bed. They'll find that quite easily of course, but it will make them think I'm terrible at hiding things and therefore assume I don't have the sugar or Sd card and give up

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Spoonylingus@reddit

Genius. Pure evil genius!!

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DagenhamDav@reddit

Sugar is corrosive and will destroy the sd card

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Previous-Ad7618@reddit

Ok we need to keep an eye on this guy

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Charlie_Yu@reddit

I’d glue it under my blue bin outside. Orange might be a problem but I don’t think they’d really notice? Second choice would be under soil in the garden but orange may rot

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HawkTenRose@reddit

SIM card? In the lining of my swimming costume, because it has little pockets for the breast support, no one is likely to look in it though.

An orange? Probably in plain sight with all the other oranges in the fridge?

Bag if sugar — in a Tupperware container in my diabetes drawer. If anyone asks “I’m diabetic. A spoonful of sugar is the easiest and cheapest solution to a low blood sugar. Leaving it there is easily accessible.”

The trick with the last one isn’t hiding it, it’s making people glance straight over it because it’s not an unusual thing to do in a specific situation.

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moon-bouquet@reddit

..You refrigerate oranges??

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HawkTenRose@reddit

Are you not supposed to refrigerate oranges?

(They taste better cold)

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AhoyWilliam@reddit

I'd never find an orange in the fridge, it would never occur to me to look there. So in that sense you have successfully hidden the orange.

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HawkTenRose@reddit

I need to know where you keep oranges now please?🙏

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moon-bouquet@reddit

In the fruit bowl with everything but soft fruit, ie berries, which do go in the fridge.

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Djinjja-Ninja@reddit

A fridge fridge temperature orange sounds amazing.

I do it with grapes, but never thought about oranges.

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ginger_lucy@reddit

And then take your lovely cold orange and eat it in the shower.

Seriously.

r/ShowerOrange

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Djinjja-Ninja@reddit

Just when I think Reddit couldn't surprise me...

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HawkTenRose@reddit

Well, it seems logical to me (orange juice is from the fridge so oranges should be as well) - I know we don’t keep them there in stores but oranges taste 10x better from the fridge. Albeit that might be because our kitchen is also a conservatory so it gets boiling in there. That can’t be great for most fruit.

Frozen grapes and frozen bananas are gorgeous.

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BG3restart@reddit

The vegetable drawer of the fridge. Nobody else goes in there ever.

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super_sammie@reddit

I worked in a prison for a long time. I’ve searched probably 1000 cells? Likely more.

The places you can hide things if given the time and reason are quite frankly ingenious.

I’ve seen kettles dismantled and those sorts of items hidden inside the plastic.

Things supported under window ledges, in pipework, in the structure of furniture, inside people, inside clothing and more places than you could ever imagine

So turn off all the music and TVs etc, get your SIM card, SD card orange and cocaine and just sit around and look.

Consider how easily you want to be able to retrieve it and then let your imagination run wild. The first few places you think of?

What I will say is there are very few places you could hide something that a trained working cocker can’t find!

My choice? I’d wrap it in a condom tie it tight and then tape it round the u bend of my toilet.

Do not flush the toilet.

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pipedreamexplosion@reddit

Sim cards, USB devices or sd cards are easy to hide in such a way as to avoid dogs. Dogs need a surface to stand on to sniff around things so you need to look up, light fixtures, switches, the top of doors, between window trim and walls or inside picture frames would all work depending on how hard people are searching and how much they want to find the item. The orange is harder but not impossible, I'd probably opt for round the u bend of the toilet with a string caught in the thread of the connection to stop it getting flushed away during use. A bag of sugar is tricky if it needs to remain in a single bag shape, if it can be spread out into a number of smaller bags of up to approximately 14 grams each then light switches and light fixtures are back in play but you'd need quite a few small hiding places like that, round the toilet, in drains, up chimneys or inside the boiler. If it needs to be one single bag shape then I'm going for inside the boiler I think, ours has a void only visible from above when almost fully dismantled and is placed around 2 meters up on the wall with no easy access to it for sniffer dogs or persons tbh (I'd need to borrow a ladder from the neighbours whenever I needed access).

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Delicious_Proof9753@reddit

The SIM card would go underneath a title on my roof

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giraffe_cake@reddit

A sim card could go behind a faceplate of a light switch or take out the light fitting and place it behind that, presuming i couldn't put the sim/sd card into something that could already be placed inside an item that takes these things incase they are looked at/seized. Its very small, so litterally anywhere could be a potential hiding place if you look around enough.

Does the orange and the bag of sugar have to remain intact? I am presuming so. The naughty orange could be arranged with other unsuspecting oranges or fruit assemble. If not, I'd hid the orange and sugar possibly inside a stuffed toy, inside a mattress, hidden under floorboards or behind the bath panel. Depends on how badly I dont want these items to be found. Could possibly dig a hole under a flag outside and place items under it and then seal it back up.

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AssociationGold8745@reddit

For the SD card, I'd assume police would search light fixtures, but maybe not if you pop out the back box and drop it in the cavity. (If it was a billion bitcoin, say, it'd be worth chipping it out of the cavity later).

The bag of sugar should naturally have a large spoonful mixed into water and sprayed around the neighbours sheds and gardens to confuse the police sniffer ants...

The orange is tougher, but if it's to be hidden for only enough time before it goes off and if it can't be damaged, then I think putting it in behind a light fitting in the ceiling might be an idea? Even better if you've not got loft access.

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DamagedButRepairable@reddit

The trick is to buy 20 cards and scatter them in different hiding spots, so only YOU know which one is the real card.

Get your plumbing done. Simply hide the entire bag of sugar in the workmans tea. (he may complain its not sweet enough, so it may require additional sugar)

Hide the orange up your ass. Seductively invite people to remove it. They will refuse. You will be sad. They will not get the orange. If they DO try to get the orange, its a win-lose situation

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AhoyWilliam@reddit

If they get a hold of the orange though, you might end up with that classic "monkey trap" problem where an orange or similar is placed into an orifice that the monkey can insinuate their hand into and grasp - but then in their desire for an orange they refuse to let go of it, meaning their hand cannot withdraw from where it has gone due to exceeding the orifice dimensions.

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yearsofpractice@reddit

I love this kind of post. “Erm… where would you hide - just for the sake of argument - a metal water pistol, a 999.999g bag of sugar and an 80kg bag of meat? LOL”

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AssociationGold8745@reddit

I was accidentally over served at the kebab shop and now have an 80kg roll of Donner to dispose of.....

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IntermediateFolder@reddit

Buried in my neighbours rose bed.

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dreadwitch@reddit

Sugar I'd dissolve in water.. Obviously only if I know I'm getting busted. The sim card is I'd make a cake of some bread maybe, squish it right in then freeze it. One look at my crammed freezer would put anyone off emptying it to look for something that tiny.

I'd slice the orange up and put it in my 30 yo bowl of pot pouri.

My ex sold weed many moons ago and thought he had all the good hiding places... Inside a speaker was his fave. He would roll money up and slide it into the hem of curtains (lol an irrelevant story.. I once put prawns in the hem of an exes bedroom curtains 😂) or socks he then rolled into pairs.

He wasn't that good because we got busted and they found most of the weed and money... Although they were looking for weed (they knew he grew it) and for some reason completely missed the huge bar of squidgy black sitting in a drawer in the living room.

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Flibertygibbert@reddit

Hollow out a loaf of sliced bread, placed bag of sugar (in clingfilm) inside the loaf. Replace in original plastic bag and place in freezer.

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Far-Presentation6307@reddit

Easy, simcard goes inside the orange, orange goes inside the bag of sugar, and the bag of sugar... Goes right up my b...aking cupboard.

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IndividualCurious322@reddit

SIM inside one of my books. A random page. I've 1,500+ so good luck. I'd eat the orange and add the sugar to my current amount.

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Siggi_Starduust@reddit

Unfortunately for you, Electronic Storage Detection Dogs exist. Much like their drug detecting cousins, they are trained to sniff out a specific chemical compound (TPPO) that’s used in the manufacture of electronics - including SD cards.

The orange could probably be found by a normal police dog and the bag of sugar by any copper who’s put the kettle on to make a brew.

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terahurts@reddit

Electronic Storage Detection Dogs exist.

Wouldn't the obvious thing be to hide it with(in) a bunch of other electronics in plain sight? Just pop the case off a game controller, remote control, an SSD or thumb drive and tape the SD card inside.

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JavaRuby2000@reddit

I actually just Googled this and apparently it wouldn't work as the dogs are smart / sensitive enough to detect which item was the most recently moved. You could tip a whole bucket of microSDs on the floor and they can fairly accurately find the right one. Even if you paint your entire house in TPPO they can still find the item that isn't supposed to be there.

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J8YDG9RTT8N2TG74YS7A@reddit

Yeah, this is what I would do.

I'd take an existing USB drive with nothing on it, open it up and tape the SD card inside.

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hhfugrr3@reddit

So you're saying we need decoy stuff for them to find... or maybe a spray that makes our entire fraud office... sorry I mean home.... smell like a sim card?

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handysmith@reddit

I'd drop the SD card into the box of random ancient cables, either they ignore it as a false positive or considerate the lot, either way I win.

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Alas_boris@reddit

I've usually got about 10-20 oranges in a bowl on my kitchen worktop, so would place the contraband orange in there to hide in a crowd.

Similarly, I would put the SIM/microSD inside one of the many phones/digital cameras/obsolete electronics and cables that are filling a Lidl bag for life in the loft.

Bag of sugar I'd dissolve in to water, and put it in a bottle in a cupboard.

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JavaRuby2000@reddit

You could combine both the sugar and orange and make sweet and sour sauce. Most microSDs are waterproof so you could stick that in as well.

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Alas_boris@reddit

You could make marmalade, but that might attract bears.

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illwrks@reddit

For your own safety, remove and dispose all batteries from devices in that Lidl bag.

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Alas_boris@reddit

But .... What if I suddenly decided I want to start using my 2MP digital camera, or an old Sony Ericson mobile phone again?!

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PeterJamesUK@reddit

dissolve in to water

This guy ketamines!

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VRS38@reddit

Id hide something small in one of my lego sets. Only monsters would destroy lego to find evidence

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sideone@reddit

We have 26kg of loose lego in two tubs. Good luck finding anything in there.

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Whithorsematt@reddit

I don't know, if they bring in the police spaniel it will be all over it if mine is anything to go by.

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VRS38@reddit

Damn, I hadnt even thought about the sniffer dogs!! My plan is ruined!

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PrinceBert@reddit

Or they'd be REALY desperate by that point as they've rummaged through literally every other possible scenario. I'd wager an SD card might be able to be wedged inside a Lego brick so they might even dismantle it and still not find it.

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joylessbrick@reddit

They could use a metal detector and only dismantle stuff with metals in it.

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VRS38@reddit

I could hide the bag of sugar in the Krusttly Burger.. as long as they dont think about opening it..

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ANAL_PROLAPSE_KISSER@reddit

in the butt

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Traditional_Map3571@reddit

the ol prison pocket

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pattybutty@reddit

I think they mean in the house, not the garden. Besides, isn't water bad for SD cards?

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steveakacrush@reddit

You can get a bag of sugar in yours?

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Acceptable-Sentence@reddit

Simply dissolve in a litre of boiling water then pipe it in

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CarpeCyprinidae@reddit

You havent thought this through

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ANAL_PROLAPSE_KISSER@reddit

It's a bit of a stretch

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HilariousMotives@reddit

Comes back out as chocolate.

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Agitated-Builder-582@reddit

Explains the user name

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Serberou5@reddit

It is indeed an interesting username that's for sure.

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mwako@reddit

When I had a Trezor I used to hide it in a beehive.

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lxxmng@reddit

The MicroSD goes into the battery compartment of a carbon monoxide detector that has been beeping for three years because nobody in the house wants to be the one to deal with it. The bag of sugar is a perfect fit for the middle of a giant bag of grit or pebbles for the garde

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Eatthebeatz@reddit

someone else house / forest

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tooskinttogotocuba@reddit

I'd put the sim/SD cards in the orange, put the orange in the bag of sugar then shove the whole kit and caboodle up my arse. Always one step ahead of the law

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Lufc87@reddit

My mates dad was a bit of an interesting character, similar to Del Boy, but more successful. He passed away suddenly. In the years following his death, whilst decorating etc., they found varying amounts of cash:

Behind the bath panel

In an ice cream tub in a chest freezer

Under a hatch fashioned in the floorboards below the fridge

In the water tank in the loft

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jamesdownwell@reddit

I think your mate's dad was an actual criminal.

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J8YDG9RTT8N2TG74YS7A@reddit

If they were over 60 it's not all that surprising.

Lots of older people don't trust banks. When my grandmother died we found around £30K stashed in the attic of her bungalow. A lot of the notes were out of circulation as they were the old ten pound notes.

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RadaghasztII@reddit

Nice try cartel.

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Reddit__user_@reddit

Orange inside a grapefruit.

Bag of sugar inside a bag of flour.

SIM card and micro SD in bike tire or model car tire.

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br0wn0ni0n@reddit

My theory is that, unless they need to forensically cover every single fibre of your possessions, hiding stuff really wouldn’t be that hard. I can’t believe that the average search would uncover things that someone has put real effort into hiding.

A section of skirting board that can be removed would be a simple one or any part of a unit or furniture that can be dismantled. An SD card can be tucked into any little item. Maybe inside the fuel tank of an old lawn mower? In a bag tucked into the nook of an old tree trunk in the back of the garden? In the soil of a house plant?

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Bifanarama@reddit

Re-paper the bedroom wall, using sugar syrup as paste.

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Bifanarama@reddit

The sim/sd card is the tricky one. Police have dogs that are specifically trained to find such things and have been known to find ones that have been buried in a garden.

Whether coating the card in orange and sugar will put the dog off the scent is not known. SIM Suzette, anyone?

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Boxxy_T_Morningwood1@reddit

I have been procrastinating for a long time on an old broken phone, hide the sim in that along with the sd card. Who’s going to question why they are there. Also my pets have good hides in their enclosure so hide the items in there. If my pets can be not visible then the items won’t be ether.

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HumanBeing7396@reddit

Open a supermarket selling (among other things) oranges, sugar and SD cards. Hide the needle in a big pile of needles.

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Rinskki@reddit

Under the neighbour's decking through a gap in the fence 😎

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True_Sir_4382@reddit

Depends on the house but it’s really easy to peal back carpet and unscrew floor boards or you could hide it in/under the insulation in the attic

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CarpeCyprinidae@reddit

I wonder if adding sugar in paper under the floorboards might cause more problems than it solves

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ginger_lucy@reddit

The police will just follow the trail of ants.

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K-Motorbike-12@reddit

The SD card I'd put inside the cowling of GPU cooler or CPU cooler. Find that sniffer doggy.

Simcard - I'm assuming the micro simcard - inside my shower head.

Sugar, quite hard to hide a 1kg bag of sugar, but probably inside the huge back of coke on the staircase.

And the orange will be hidden within the isolation foam in the loft. I'll then put an asbestos warning logo up there. That will get them strung up with health and safety policy and red tape.

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Guilty_Struggle_6089@reddit

Orange in the fruit bowl

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Albert_Herring@reddit

I'd just carry on with my normal day to day life, in which I mostly can't find any of those things anyway.

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bars_and_plates@reddit

I'd come over for a cup of tea and hide it in your house.

Sorted.

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theNixher@reddit

Very small objects, I would waterproof bag, tie and secure to the inside of a sink waste pipe.

Larger objects I would hide in appliances like washing machines and tumble dryers, they have so much empty space inside. (no I don't mean the drum, I mean INSIDE the machine).

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CarpeCyprinidae@reddit

SIM - wrap in clingfilm. Cut off bottom of toothpaste tube. Insert within, roll up bottom of toothpaste tube again.

Orange - wrapped in clingfilm inside the cold water tank in the loft.

Bag of sugar - Inside the sofa.

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IllustriousSundae607@reddit

Insert card into orange Make marmalade

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Silly_Hurry_2795@reddit

SIM card/micr SD in the base of a fat candle, wax is easy to hollow out enough to leave a small void then plug and warm it to hide what you've done. Orange id make a chistingle and leave it in the open somewhere really obvious A bag of sugar id dissolve in water and leave the bottles in the fridge

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redunculuspanda@reddit

🍑

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Legitimate_War_397@reddit

Okay Mr criminal, your chosen objects are similar in size to the illegal kind “bag of sugar” 👀

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xafoquack@reddit

Surprised water pistol wasn't on the list

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mangonel@reddit

A 70kg chicken

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AssociationGold8745@reddit

That's ridiculous, a 70kg chicken indeed, no no, what I'm hiding is more like a whole hog or sheep , I mean it is a whole pig, I was going to do roast pork baps as a surprise....

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pajamakitten@reddit

Pigs will eat anything. Just give that 70kg pig to a pig farm and it will be gone by morning.

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Avenger1324@reddit

Do you know what nemesis means?

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AssociationGold8745@reddit

Listen hear, my pedigree chum

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danmingothemandingo@reddit

Use the tacky stuff that sticks the sim card to the paper it gets sent out on to stick it to the main circuit board of a random electronic item like a television. Or I'm swapping the sim card in the electricity smart meter for the one I'm trying to hide. Doubt they'll think of examining that sim 😂. The orange is getting hidden in the middle of a bowl of clementines. The Sugar is getting dissolved into a large bottle of water in the fridge, and can always be evaporated back into crystal sugar later, with the paper sugar bag rolled into the middle of the kitchen roll.

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Dru2021@reddit

Pour the sugar water in to ice lolly moulds and freeze em with sticks in. Maybe add some blue raspberry favouring / dye. That shit is tight… tight!

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WanderWomble@reddit

I'd give them to my kids and tell them not to lose them. Figure wed find them several months later in a totally random spot.

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KatVanWall@reddit

I have a snake, so I'd hide the SD card somewhere in his tank.

TBH I have a 9-year-old who loves her toys and trinkets, so good luck finding anything in my house! The orange would probably be fairly easily hidden in her bedroom somewhere - maybe in the middle of one of the roughly one billion stuffed toys she has.

I have a cupboard under the stairs that goes right back into the point, but has a shelf at around knee level at the end that goes all the way to the back. So I'd put the bag of sugar under that, tucked right up into the point, and then stack all the rest of my understairs crap - tool boxes, power tools, ladders, ironing board, sewing box, large games, crate of stuff from pre-house-move that I haven't got around to unpacking, bread maker, extension cables, rolls of wrapping paper, buckets, about five hundred bags for life - in front and in my pantry just like it was. If they can get through that lot, good luck to them.

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HashDefTrueFalse@reddit

I think you've already failed if you're hiding things somewhere that (1) is owned/controlled exclusively by you and (2) will be searched in the first place. Despite this, that orange is going in my ass.

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DutchOfBurdock@reddit

I'd hide the sim card in the orange and the orange in the sugar bag and the sugar bag innocently sit in the cupboard.

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Entire-Chicken-5812@reddit

Fed training 101 this thread

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Dr_Gillian_McQueef@reddit

Sd card/SIM inside the hem of the curtains, Orange tucked inside the toe of a shoe, sugar in the soap powder box.

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juanito_f90@reddit

SD card and orange inside the boiler, behind the vent.

Bag of sugar inside the chimney breast in the loft.

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ddttm@reddit

In a ready prepared, self addressed parcel, when the police arrive, enthusiastically welcome them in, as they pass you in the doorway, sneakily put the parcel outside, then while the search is going on, hope that a neighbour spots the parcel and takes it in for you. Collect it from them later and rejoice in your criminal brilliance. 😂

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ribenarockstar@reddit

I have hundreds of books, so I’d tuck the SIM card into one of those.
The bag of sugar… inside packaging for sanitary towels, if it’s one of the small 500g ones?
The orange… bottom of a crisper drawer in the fridge, under the bags of ground coffee.

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bezsez@reddit

Are you a contestant on the next series of Taskmaster?

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Bibblejw@reddit

MicroSD/SIM card, if I can do it without it looking "disturbed", or if it's going to be hidden for long enough to make it look normal, then basically anywhere that doesn't normally get opened. Off the top of my head, I'm thinking behind the cover of a door handle, or in a slot inside the body of a door (taped to the top if it's an emergency).

The bag of flour, there are enough places in the house that have voids without being normally accessed. Something like behind an oven or washing machine?

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AdApart5035@reddit

For the SD card and the orange, seal them in a zip lock bag and stick in one of my fish tank canister filters. I'd hope the water and the smell of the filter sponges might interfere with a sniffer dog's process. I'm not sure about a bag of sugar though. Maybe there's a blind spot on the bathroom roof - it's a downstairs bathroom and so the roof is accessible from one of the bedrooms.

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theartofnocode@reddit

The loft. Those dumb fucks never check in there.

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j_the_inpaler@reddit

Typo you put bag or sugar rather than bag of drugs Pablo !

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terahurts@reddit

SIM/SD card:

Quick and simple/easy access: Under the loft insulation, behind plug socket or switch plate, taped behind kitchen cabinet kickboard. Remove finial from curtain rail and pop inside the tube of the rail. Taped/glued into the hollow space behind the boss of my desk fan. Under an ear cushion of my headset or headphones. Pushed into the gap between a shelf and the wall.

More elaborate or not needing to get to it quickly: Disassemble some electronics, an old hard drive (I have a collection of old hardware bits and bobs), a power tool or USB Flash drive and tape/hot glue inside. Put in a waterproof bag and frozen inside a portion of extra food or buried in garden planter or under the shed floor. Remove a hinge from one of the kitchen cabinets, glue/tape in the hole or back of the hinge. Drill a hole or cut a slot in the top of a door. Under the false floor in our porch. Dropped down the seat tube of a bike. Inside a 3D printed object (Trivial to pause a print, remove some of the infill, insert the card then let the print continue or to design an object with a slot ready for it).

Orange sized and bag of sugar sized:

Bottom of one of the boxes of assorted crap in the loft or shed, Buried in the flowerbed, buried in next door's flowerbed, bottom of a tub of paint, inside boarded up fireplace. Our house has these weird little cupboards built into the walls of the bedrooms and kitchen. The doors are normal height but the space goes all the way up to the ceiling. It would be pretty easy to create a false roof or false back.

(One of my relatives used to be married to a very dodgy cop. He used to keep weed in re-glued frozen food boxes in the freezer or taped to the trunks of the conifers in his garden.)

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Existing_Doughnut985@reddit

All up my asshole

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Previous-Ad7618@reddit

Out a Nintendo switch up there too, then if they check your ass they'll think the SD card just has your Zelda save on it

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danmingothemandingo@reddit

The sim card gives a nice edge to the orange going in

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StatisticianUsual471@reddit

The old prison suitcase

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user_error101@reddit

Hide bag of sugar in a bag of flour.

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Even-Funny-265@reddit

SIM card in the weird little pocket you get in a pair of jeans then fold them up and bury them at the bottom of a clothes drawer. Orange, wrap in foil and attach a little wire and hide in the Xmas decorations box in the loft. Bag of sugar, cover it in some sort of fabric and hide in plain sight as a doorstop.

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ServerLost@reddit

OP you HAVE to realise how suspicious this sounds 🤣

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DamMofoUsername@reddit (OP)

The only suspicious this is it took me 24 minutes to remember collars stays

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