Do you still enjoy going out?

Posted by EPCreep@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 59 comments

49 yo male, having a difficult time wanting to go out and do things socially. My gf is 36 and likes going out, so I try to humor her. But besides going out for dinner or a concert, I don’t really enjoy leaving the house. Even going to the movies is starting to feel like a chore. I enjoy nothing more than just be cozy at home and watching a movie together or shows or listening to music. I don’t think it’s social anxiety, because I actually enjoy friends coming over too. But my gf gets anxious staying at home as she feels we’re not doing anything productive. My question to the community- is it an aging thing to enjoy staying in? How do you find the energy to find things to get excited for and to go do them? Am I crazy for loving staying at home? Just second guessing myself, I guess.

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MNPS1603@reddit

My partner and I are the opposite. I’m 49m he’s 38m - he’s the one who would rather stay home, so not an age thing here I guess. He is more of a gamer/movie watcher/tinkerer and likes being in comfy clothes and being silent. I need social interaction, people watching, to hear the latest gossip, etc. I think it’s just different wiring. What we have worked out is I just go without him. I’ll go out with friends for dinner or drinks, depending on the friends he will go about 25% of the time. If something is important to me he will go, but I finally realized we don’t have to be attached at the hip.

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JackWylder@reddit

Friendly advice- when you DO take your GF out, don’t ever ever EVER let on that you’re not thrilled to be there with her. Taking her out is great, but if you’re eyeing the door the whole time you’re diminishing her happiness.

I love nothing more than being home- and I get to do that 95% of the time without my wife complaining. The least I can do is play along for the other 5%.

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ONROSREPUS@reddit

Yes, way more then my wife who is younger then me.

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Relevant_Fuel_9905@reddit

I think it could be an age thing. I don’t want to go out either other than a very rare big event movie or to go for dinner.

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sane-asylum@reddit

No, I can’t stand it. I really only want to do things on my way home from work when it’s convenient. Once I’m home I hate leaving

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neo101b@reddit

All the time, I hang out with my bro and people who are 30 ish.
We usually go drinking till 6am, my younger brother finds it a bit too much and Im fine with it.
Though it dose start to get boring after a while, I'm 49.

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cleveland_leftovers@reddit

Drinking until 6am at 49?

Is your liver made of steel?

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SadCrocodile762@reddit

I’m pretty sure after a certain age some people just get pickled. I have a friend who can still drink all night and I’m done at like two.

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SadCrocodile762@reddit

Define going out. Local restaurant or brewery or something to hang out and enjoy some food and company. Sure. Club? No way. If my wife did ever leave me for some reason there are plenty of gorgeous 50 something’s I would be interested in dating who probably more interested in my lifestyle. Dating down a generation seems tough.

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MaximumJones@reddit

If you are going to date someone who is in an entirely different generation than you are then you are going to have to go out and try to keep up.

When you were 36 did you want to stay home with a grandpa every night?

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Jynxsee@reddit

53, yes. I still enjoy going out. Comic con this weekend, music festival next. But I'll shut down for a few weeks after that to recharge.

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no_car1799@reddit

This! May is full every weekend and I’m starting to drag, but I’m here for it. I want to enjoy every moment while I can still jump and move!

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boilersnipe@reddit

My brother and I married sisters (not ours) and we go to dinner every Saturday and then a few drinks. Other than that we stay home and hang out with our kids and grandkids

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RedWineBlue@reddit

Haha..thank you for clarifying you didn’t marry your sister. Made me laugh :)

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abstractraj@reddit

Love going out. My wife is 50 and likes to stay in. It’s just personalities

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One-Pepper-2654@reddit

Not all that much, but recently we went to dinner at a small Italian restaurant and then to a movie at a restored 100 year old Art Deco theater with an organist! Tickets were just 5 dollars each and snacks were super cheap. They showed old cartoons before the movie! The place was packed. We couldn’t stop smiling, it was like small town America from 1925. The Roxy, Northampton PA

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GuyLapin@reddit

I was in the same situation. Me 47, her 46. Me happy to have friends visiting us or just us staying at home. Her always searching for a reason to go out. We splitted, sold the house, now I'm happy to stay home and she found a new bf her age that don't stay in place for a day. I bought a PlayStation. Happy alone. Now have a new gf, 43, she always stay at her appartement except on Sunday. Sunday is her day out at the stables with the horse. The rest of the week is at my place or her place but we don't particularly need to go out.

I think the home vs activity ratio in a relationship is very important. You need to be with someone who you don't get bored with.

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Limo_Wreck77@reddit

Not really.

I'm 48 and the only things I like leaving the house for are trips to the cinemas, concerts and going to the gym.

I work from home full time so that's a bonus.

I've built myself a pretty damn good movie library here, I have vinyl, CD and book collections and I just love being home surrounded by my cool stuff.

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asj-777@reddit

I'm older than you but YES. Home is where all my cool shit is. I'm probably a bit of a hoarder at heart, but it's cool stuff that I like to enjoy. I work a lot, so for me, being able to sit out on the deck in the summer with a cold drink and a good book, with a steak on the grill, feels like vacation.

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Imyourhuckl3berry@reddit

Not as much anymore, will still occasionally got for dinner and a movie/show but most days just like staying home and hate dealing with all the traffic and people

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asj-777@reddit

Most of my money, and a huge portion of my free time, goes toward the house, so when I have free-free time I like to stay home and enjoy the fruits of my labor.

I don't mind socializing, but I find that my free time is so limited and I have so many hobbies that there's never enough time to do everything I want to do.

That said, I'm in my mid-50s now, and in my mid-30s I was probably way more out-of-the-house social. But now I work more and can't afford to outsource general home maintenance, so there's just less time, or at least it feels like it.

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Yada-Yada-Yadda@reddit

No you're not being crazy. I used to enjoy going out. I find it more stressful than staying home. For example, when I stay home and have friends over, I just worry about whether my place is clean and has enough seats to accommodate everyone. My wife is a little more stressed, not because of not being productive, but just wanting to make sure everything looks nice. My friends can be an ass and point stuff out. But going out.... we live further from the city than my friends. They take an Uber. I have to drive 30-45 minutes. Find a parking spot, usually spend 20 mins finding a spot, paying $20-$30 for that parking spot. Walk to the restaurant or bar, spend about $100 on food and drinks, fight the crowd, wait in line to use the bathroom, become deaf, and walk back to my car late at night, hoping we don't get jumped. That gives me anxiety....so I usually don't go. But...they have caught on and have been recommending places in strip malls with more parking, and during the day rather than at night. So..I guess i'm getting old. Now I get it...I'm turning into my Dad.

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LeighofMar@reddit

We like open air festivals and events because we can go at our own pace, see what we want to see. Otherwise our going out is bike rides, antique stores, parks and gardens or road trips to do all these things somewhere else. Life revolves around my home which is my oasis.

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dodgerecharger@reddit

I feel sorry for the girlfriend, i hope she has friends around, who enjoy going out too.

I am 50 years old and still enjoy concerts, going to the Clubs, movies and so on.

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Hedonistic_Yinzer@reddit

I tried dating someone younger once. It didn't work because we were at different stages of life. Think back to when you were 36. Would you have been content to sit home and watch the news and be in bed at 10:00? It isn't just an age Gap. It's a generation gap as well.

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FormerLaugh3780@reddit

Dinner only, then home. Anything else is really uncomfortable for me.

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Kindly-Might-1879@reddit

It’s pretty much a case of you’re now old enough to have “been there, done that” so staying at home feels like a vacation. I still gave a bucket list of big things I want to do but for most nights, I’m staying in.

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glurbleblurble@reddit

I’m 50 and I love going out for cocktails and dinner. Maybe the occasional show. It’s not like I’m out at da clerb until 3 am.

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CleMike69@reddit

Love going out I enjoy people watching personally, meeting new people etc

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MrBrawn@reddit

Im asleep by 10.

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Bubbly_Following7930@reddit

Even in college, I preferred staying in at night. That's always been my tendency so it's not just age. It's not that I don't lie leaving the house, it's that I'm tired and don't enjoy staying out late.

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Ok_Magician5842@reddit

Me and the missus have date night weekly. Thats fun. Beyond that, nah.

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timfinn1972@reddit

Nah. You’re good. Got my house set up better than outside. Don’t go to cinema as my projector and sound system is awesome, can watch anything I want now with IPTV set up and no noisy morons with bright phones in front of us. My wife cooks better than a restaurant and we have better wine. Couldn’t think of anything worse than going to a gig to watch a load of old guys shuffling round on stage with 15,000 people holding their cameras up. My bed is better than any hotel and the pillows sheets towels and duvet covers are better than 5 star.

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small-gestures@reddit

Go out? Where? Gawd for how long? At night? With who? Why? Can’t we just stay in? What time does it end? No drinks or anything afterward? Your sure? What about the dog?

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BazingaQQ@reddit

54 and yes, i do - problem is convincing other people to come out too and most of them are 5-10 years younger than me.

Bloody kids

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MishtotheMitt@reddit

Nope

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LowKaleidoscope3342@reddit

I still go out about once a week, I jog and then go straight to the grocery store. Sometimes I roam around in malls but that happens only about once a month.

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DeeLite04@reddit

I still like going out and I’m 50. I’m also pretty extroverted.

However as I’ve gotten older it takes more and more out of me to go out and I’m very content to stay home more and more the older I get. We have entire weekends where we have no plans but to stay home and I like that. In the past I would have hated having no plans.

So yeah as we age I do think our preferences change about going out. But I don’t think staying home all the time is great nor is going out all the time great either. It’s a balance.

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MienaLovesCats@reddit

Occasionally

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BigRudy99@reddit

Not particularly. We go out to walk in parks, maybe get some food from time to time. Most of our excursions are for exercise/fresh air.

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atzitzi@reddit

36 and 49. Why.

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sickiesusan@reddit

And he seems surprised?! 😂

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Distinct_Magician713@reddit

I'm almost 60 and still like going out.

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OkIncrease6030@reddit

Mid-fifties and I still go out at least once a week. Nothing has changed except I feel like I’m too old for dance clubs. It’s usually dinner or a pub with my husband and/or friends, a bookclub meeting, or a house party or barbecue. 😁

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Champsterdam@reddit

47 here with seven year old twins and I still love going out. Restaurants, bars, terraces for drinks. We have trams going by all day and I sit and wish I was in one heading into town to drink on a terrace and watch the tourists

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Skeezy_mcbuttface@reddit

both my wife and I are in our early 50s, we just became empty nesters.... we go out all the time now. Go to concerts, go out for a nightcap, go pub crawling with some friends. We're still relatively young at 52, let's party!

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RizzmwitTheTism@reddit

I don’t enjoy going out at all. I used to love dining out but would rather get it as takeout and eat at home now. I feel like I’ve done enough “out” stuff and traveling in the past and just want to relax comfortably now.

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BornTry5923@reddit

No, but I'm a homebody with chronic illness. I had all my fun going out in high school. Bern there, done that.

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Real-Emu507@reddit

I'll drag my ass out of pajamas for concerts and music. Not much else. Too people- y

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Finding_Way_@reddit

Oldest of GenX and very extroverted

My need for stimulation has changed A LOT

Happy to charge my social battery eith a short trip to the library, a book club, church, having frinds over, small concert in a park, etc

Definitely don't enjoy going out as I once fid. Wben we do, the atmosphere is usually more low key. Even for travel i prefer off season.

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LithiuMart@reddit

I'm 53 and my partner and I still go to see live music a few times a year, and it would be more often but it's a three hour journey each time. The only thing that has drastically changed in 20 years are the weekend pub visits, which were a staple part of every weekend to meet up with friends on a Saturday. Now we've all drifted apart and none of us go.

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Fair-Wishbone-1190@reddit

I never leave my house except for work. I hate so much even going to the grocery store that I put it off until I can't go any longer. I used to go out to clubs and bars 5 nights a week as a young person saying I'll never be an old fuddy duddy. And now that's exactly what I am. But I love it. Spending my nights home with my kitty by my side watching movies is my peak excitement. And I'm good with that.

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ORF1Live@reddit

I enjoy being at home too. My house is cosy, my favourite people live there, all my stuff is there. We still go out but for me it's really not essential. My husband likes going out, but he's less bothered than he used to be.

I've always been a bit of a homebody.

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DPax_23@reddit

We go see bands often enough. Maybe like 15 shows a year. Once or twice a year we do the opera. Breakfast out almost every weekend, dinner out once a week, events at our synagogue. I spend a lot of time out doors running. I also spend a lot of time at my favorite coffee shop, maybe 3 to 5 times a week. Often enough I end my runs there. My wife is taking a class. Our kid is rower so we end up at parents stuff and regattas somewhat.

I feel like a homebody, but we're actually out and about a lot more than people we know.

You couldn't pay me to go to the movies though.

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grateful_john@reddit

I’m 60. I see live music once a month or so on average, have football season tickets and do some volunteer work as well. I also enjoy staying home with my wife and hanging out. Find the balance that works for you.

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CitizenChatt@reddit

Yer an olde man.

Remember l, you can sleep when you're dead.

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