Fatigue and brain fog as a Xennial dad and husband (it’s the booze)

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blamberr@reddit

I quit drinking 11 years ago. Now the thought of it makes me sick. I don’t know how some of my friends live how they do — they look like shit and are always drinking and sometimes still smoking. Meanwhile, I look great and I haven’t been sick in seven years 👍🏻

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rohm418@reddit

Judgmental, high-and-mighty friends will do that to you.

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blamberr@reddit

lol man I just feel and look better than them. That’s objective fact and not a judgment. If they want to die in their 60s, have at it. I’ll enjoy the time we have

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rohm418@reddit

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BigFatBlackCat@reddit

I’ve heard that the CO2 detectors have to be calibrated or something like that. They require a bit of maintenance? Idk. Maybe try borrowing one from someone else to make sure your’s is working. I think firefighters can come and check too.

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Tall-Problem-6183@reddit

I love Reddit for things like this. You never know if a comment like this will save someone's (and their family's) life and all it took was 60 seconds to be a kind person and post something intellectual, nice, and true.

I'm the same way. I'll say .... something something ... just in case you haven't experienced it this way and I hope this other perspective I'm telling you helps in some way. If it doesn't, no big deal. And I'm grateful.

Not life-saving at all, but ... I do it all the time as an experienced server telling the newbies what works to help your customers when the kitchen goes down and it takes 53 mins for entrees to come out. * I'm looking at you Mother's Day *

First - are they gonna get hangry? Get them soup or whatever small things you can grab yourself and not wait for a chef to give it to you. Comp it if needed. Offer kids menus if they're bored coz they have crayons and puzzles. Even to a table of all adults. Offer a free dessert - even if they take it home. Thank them for their patience first and foremost. Then apologize and try to make it right.

HeyBird33@reddit

When else am I gonna play video games. I can’t just go to bed when the kids go to bed, where’s the me time?

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Dazzling-Yoghurt2114@reddit

fucking a bro

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Emotional_End2305@reddit

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IndependentMammoth20@reddit

What do the bros think about this? Do they know?

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Guelph35@reddit

I hope you meant to include a comma in there somewhere

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EvilMilkshake@reddit

Don't judge

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FoofaFighters@reddit

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Tetris Pete, please come to the Principal's office....

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Tetris_Pete@reddit

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Claim312ButAct847@reddit

(gesturing broadly and the world around us) Ya know, about like you'd expect

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thrakkerzog@reddit

I do sometimes feel that I need a few beers to clear out the cobwebs. It's not something that I do frequently, but it really helps to turn my mind off for just a little bit and to relax.

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okieboat@reddit

This is me. I feel like I would be 20x of a roaring mess without the several times a week 2-3 IPAs

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InternetConfessional@reddit

I was just reading this thinking the same thing 😂

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ineffable_my_dear@reddit

Fucking same.

Congrats!

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BoyznGirlznBabes@reddit

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When I was younger I drank 2-5 beers a night, I remember going on a work trip where I couldn’t drink for 2 weeks and I scared I’d have withdrawals….then I discovered after the first few days I just slept way better.

I realized there’s a world of difference between my unhealthy level of drinking and those who have much worse drinking problems.

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thegholahayt@reddit

how we justify things to ourselves

Alcohol took the love of my life from me in the blink of an eye. She didn't drink herself to death, or combine substances. She drank between 6-12 beers a night, after work. It was damage over time.

"Alcohol-induced hypertension" caused a stroke, which caused a cardiac arrest, and she died despite me performing instant CPR and having paramedics onsite in 7mins. both late GenX.

I hit a point in drinking and mental health that I had to finally admit I'm not invulnerable and talk to a doc a few months ago. I also kind of peaked during COVID and then stayed at that peak more or less since then with a few maybe 4 or 5 month gaps of "behaving" in between.

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jtho78@reddit

Wet brain is a term for a reason. You are going to notice dozens of health level up’s. I’m almost at 1000 days.

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Z0idberg_MD@reddit

Is this a thing if I only drink 2 a night and never binge drink? (4 drinks for me is maybe a handful of times a year and 6 is 1-2 times a year at events like weddings across an entire day)

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jtho78@reddit

For wet brain? I don’t think so. But you will see cognitive improvements, better sleep and other benefits. WHO says no amount of alcohol is safe to drink.

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os_beef@reddit

WHO says no amount of alcohol is safe to drink.

Partly because it's a pretty nasty carcinogen.

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IndependentMammoth20@reddit

I don’t know, who says no amount of alcohol is safe to drink?

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os_beef@reddit

I guess we'll never know.

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jtho78@reddit

Which makes sense.

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Blackbird136@reddit

Feels unfair that men can allegedly drink TWICE as much as women before they’re considered to have a problem. 😂 I draw a laughing face but really, wtf. Seems like body weight would affect this more than gender would?

I did the exact same thing as you about two years ago and it’s made a world of difference. I rarely drink on the weekends now and I don’t at all during the week because the habit is gone.

While I do enjoy going out to happy hour every now and then and I’ll have drinks at celebrations, the clear-mindedness, energy, and $$$ saved is worth the overall reduction, for sure.

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_Talo_@reddit

Only one way to find out!

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Sufficient_Turn_9209@reddit

Wet brain is from long term heavy alcohol consumption m

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jeremiah15165@reddit

I made a decision to stop drinking the day my kid was born, best decision I ever made.

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WearyMatter@reddit

Yo. 43. Two kids. Drinking ramped up during COVID. Didn't love who I was becoming.

Stopped boozing. What do you know. Lost weight. Felt better. Exercised. Lost more weight. Sleep improved. Felt even better.

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Penn1103@reddit

👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻👏🏻 This is awesome! I have 2 close relatives I wish would make this realization. One 68 male other 43 female. The 43 female cousin also had alcoholic parents and sibling. Dad shot himself. Her brother hung himself, and mom, my aunt 61 passed with cirrhosis of the liver. She would go get 2 liters of fluid drained from her abdomen and then go buy beer and wine. My cousin sits at home drinks all night and sleeps all day. Has not worked in 20 years. Gave her 2 and 4 year old up 20 years ago because she’d rather drink.

I myself chose to stop having drinks maybe 8-10 years. I just hated blowing money to feel awful. It just stopped agreeing with me. I have a sip of champagne maybe twice a year and I don’t even enjoy that.

Great self awareness and ambition to improve yourself and better serve your loved ones OP. It’s not always easy.

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RaspberryVespa@reddit

People just don't realize what a number alcohol -- even just a few drinks a week -- can do on a body's brain and peripheral nervous system. Good for you for figuring it out!

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Chi_Nap_King@reddit

How much were you drinking? Everyday? 2-3 times a week? Were you getting drunk every time you drank? Tipsy?

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rob132@reddit

I got to take up drinking so I can give up drinking.

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ScooterDoesReddit@reddit

Down 55 lbs, down 3-4 shitty friendships that turned out to be alcohol consumption based, zero cocaine shenanigans because the inhibitions haven't been lowered, no panic repair texts needed to be sent, no bruises of unknown origin, no work call-outs due to "food poisoning," no dramatic/traumatic situations my son has had to witness...

Corporate-Scum@reddit

I quit at 41 and it gave me my life back. Boozing borrows against your youth, and when you don’t have that energy anymore, it drags you down.

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Claim312ButAct847@reddit

It's poison and it kills brain cells you never get back. Before it takes your life it takes your identity and your sanity.

Just watched my nieces lose their dad to alcohol, the emotional damage it inflicted on them is heartbreaking.

We are the same age lol. But yea that’s basically how much I drank nightly for 20 years 1-3 a night. More recently closer to 1. Not enough to be drunk but enough to start affecting the sleep and mornings.

A few years ago had to stop for a few days for a dental issue and then few days turned into a dry month etc and never picked up regular drinking again.

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birdsword@reddit

I drink moderately, mostly saturday's and less so Sunday. I have stopped before and felt worse. Was eating more junk food and gained weight. A feel like a few beers are probably okay for me. Sleep is a different story though. Alcohol is a complete disruptor.

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bikingmpls@reddit

Absolutely - very easy to see on sleep tracker. One of the reasons I stopped.

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rr196@reddit

I've got a brother in his early 20s and he said drinking almost any amount makes him feel like crap which is crazy to me because everyone I knew in their 20s we could drink like crazy and still go to work without feeling like utter garbage. I find it interesting that alcohol sales are in the tank, inflation and cost of labor/shipping is through the roof but somehow the quality of alcohol has remained the same? I mean they have to cut costs and corners somewhere and I think wherever it is has led to this "feeling like crap" feeling I hear everyone including those 10-15 years younger than me talk about. Honestly 22-24 year olds telling me any amount of alcohol wrecks them the next day and it isn't some plastic bottle blue Giorgi is very strange.

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MotherofaPickle@reddit

For me, it’s all dependent on sleep. As I am fairly sure I have started Peri, I have insomnia at least two nights a week. Sometimes drinking helps (wine, at the strongest), sometimes not. Sometimes exercise helps, sometimes not.

It’s a “fun” rollercoaster.

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JWWBurger@reddit

Anyone supplementing NMN or NAD+? It’s been life changing. So much damn energy and focus like I’ve never had in my life. I’m not saying I’d choose to go to work, but it’s almost fun now when I’d dread it not too long ago. Finishing out the day with zero emails, my clients are getting responses to questions hours faster most days. It almost feels like a game when you have the energy for it.

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therempel@reddit

I started experiencing something similar in my mid 30s. Massive brain fog, fatigue and exhaustion. Initially I thought I was just getting older but after a couple years of struggle I was diagnosed with Celiac Disease.

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Resident_Pomelo_1337@reddit

Congratulations on it!

I absolutely have felt this. It’s great to see more people normalising not drinking and recognising the effects of even moderate levels.

Enjoy the show!

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Pantsickle@reddit

I'm not trying to be a downer here, and I'm very seriously and legitimately happy for you and everyone else that has experienced positive health benefits after quitting drinking, but for me it's been the exact opposite: I quit drinking and gained ten pounds, I became less active, and I developed brain fog for the first time in my life. I don't want to start drinking again, but man I really thought I'd feel better after I quit. I feel worse in every regard, mentally and physically. Can't focus, struggle to lose weight, chronic pain has gotten way worse...it's like a cosmic joke.

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76@reddit

45 y/o husband and I recently switched to NA beers and it made a big difference. We still imbibe socially, but the habit of drinking like you mentioned feels pretty well mitigated by the non-alcoholic drinks. This may not work for everyone but worked well for us.

If you're relating to the tiredness and brain fog look into fatty liver disease. Everyone is susceptible to due to diets and as we get older, the long-term stress on our liver takes its toll. You can have the alcoholic or non-alcoholic version. But the non-alcoholic version is also affected by alcohol. If you know that you've had a standard American diet processed foods and sugar for a long time, then you likely have it.

It won't show up on test unless it's more advanced, and most people only discover it incidentally during an abdominal ultrasound.

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Hatecookie@reddit

My dad was a mean drunk, I’ve always been grateful my stomach is too weak to handle a lot of booze. I find it hard to imagine drinking so regularly, I would be puking my guts out daily. Part of me is a little jealous of people who can enjoy it.. but then again, maybe not.

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New_me_310@reddit

Second this. I gave up booze at 37 and have never felt better. 44 now and not going back.

Life is so much more colorful. I’ve made new friends. I travel frequently, have taken up new hobbies, and rediscovered old ones, like reading for pleasure. And, my kids aren’t growing up around alcohol like I did, which I love.

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HiHawaiiHigh@reddit

have you tried coffee? /s

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Lost-Boysenberry-302@reddit

I’m doctor (who drink) and this is so real (for my patients who can pull it off)

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Wapiti_whacker82@reddit

Man, I wish I could say the same. I have a couple drinks a month, but my brain is always foggy, and I'm always fatigued.

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noonesaidityet@reddit

I want to preface this by saying I always love reading people's sobriety journeys and success stories, because I root for people finding the light again after substance abuse issues whether I know the person or not. It's uplifting to know people made it out and found that light again. It's just not my story.

In less than a month I will be 5 years sober and I hate when people ask me "Don't you feel so much better now?", because honestly no, I don't. The only thing that cleared up when I stopped was weirdly the severe knee pain I was having. That was gone within a couple weeks. Drinking was keeping my anxiety kinda somewhat at bay, and stopping drinking made it all come back, like every bit of anxiety I should have felt during that entire time was waiting for me to get a clear head and I was a complete wreck for the first couple years. I quit cold turkey and I most definitely should not have, or at least I should have gotten treatment instead of doing it on my own. I'm very lucky in that sense, because that first few months of recovery was mentally and physically hell. I can not say I feel better 5-years sober than I did at the height of my drinking, whether mentally, spiritually, or emotionally. I play and write music as well, but since I stopped drinking, that creative drive has disappeared.

Yep, I have a close friend that went through the same thing. He was hitting it pretty hard before Covid and it got worse during and afterwards. Still he has always been high functioning and it never really impacted his life in a way that was threatening his job, relationships or anything else but now that he quit, it’s like night and day. He’s almost back to what he was 15 years ago.

“Foggy” and “forgetful” accurately describes him during that decade and a half. It was like dealing with a man-toddler that needed a nap or woke up too soon and was lethargic and grumpy.

After drinking a minimum of 3 beers a day for 17 years. I finally called it quits last year. Was tired of being tired. We have two young children and they wake up early ready to take on the world everyday. I hated walking up tired or hungover and not enjoying the morning with them. There are a couple times I still get the itch to grab a beer or pour a glass a whiskey. Settling for a soda water is never as enjoyable but at least I am not stealing joy from next morning.

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Woad_Scrivener@reddit

I stopped drinking years ago, and the brain fog come on this year.

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GarblingCumfarts@reddit

I basically quit drinking in early Feb of this year. The first 15-16 days were so fucking hard. My body was like "Hey dude, where's the booze at". Then after that, I noticed I was actually sleeping through the night for the first time in years. It didn't require getting drunk to sleep w/o interrupted sleep. Now I'm sleeping better. I'm not saying I'm done with drinking entirely, as I'll have a beer here and there, but the need to get drunk is finally on a backburner. The real test is when we open up the in-ground pool in the summer and it's night and I want a margarita or 3.

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Administrative_Suit7@reddit

After two weeks of not drinking/eating well, I'll leap out of bed each morning, remembering all sorts of events from my early life I thought I'd forgotten. Then I'll have a couple of beers.

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Epicardiectomist@reddit

I've been sober for 2 years and almost 4 months now. It's so easy to be completely lost in the fog of booze.

The fucked up thing is that you watch your physical and cognitive self improve, but the reasons go unchanged. Putting down the bottle is only part of it - learning how to manage the things that drove you to the bottle in the first place is key.

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Spare_Independence19@reddit

Now that people are sharing the horrors and negative sides of drinking online I believe it influenced a whole generation to not drink. I know a ton of factors also play into it like legal weed and anti social social media ect. Either way its good to see.

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WhatTheCluck802@reddit

Good for you.

I hardly drink at all anymore.

I stopped drinking three years ago. Best decision ever. I do miss it sometimes but then I remember how I used to feel when I drank and I'm good to go.

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MAWPAC@reddit

Same, cut down to nearly zero booze three months ago. Weight is down. Energy is up. Feeling super satisfied with the effect. Don't see a point for starting up again.

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ridinbend@reddit

Alcohol and age, also very likely sleep apnea was occurring.

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DrunkenMaths@reddit

I agree with you. Alcohol is a serious toxic and I feel SO much better having it rarely. It should be up there with coke, H and speed as far as it's effect on your body.

I still have a drink socially from time to time. One drink once a month is the average.

I’m lucky as I was never dependent on booze, but that didn’t stop me from abusing it.

walter_grimsley@reddit

I tried to stop drinking a couple times. Even went for a few "several weeks dry" spells. But lately I've been going through some really tough personal stuff and been reaching for the bottle again and again even though I know I shouldn't.

I don't get staggeringly drunk. but I will have a beer or two or a few glasses of wine when I get home. The bad news isn't letting up. I cut out fast food and starting eating more fiber and salads, and taking B and C supplements which seems to be helping.

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LakesideScrotumPole@reddit

Thanks for the post. I’m 43 and have the same drinking habits you laid and pretty much the exact same symptoms. Can’t wait to hang it up and start feeling better!

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putitontheunderhills@reddit

Switched from a half bottle of wine most nights to 20mg edible most nights and it improved my mood, my sleep, my weight, my appearance, my skin...

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Pankosmanko@reddit

I went through in patient rehab in 2019 at my VA hospital. Been sober since. It makes a huge difference in the quality of life. Plus, like you said, we’re not getting younger.

I also quit cigs (2020) and vaping (2022) which helps a ton too

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Fluid_Change_9647@reddit

I was in the military and drank a ton, a habit that I kept once I got out and carried into my early 30s. I kicked the habit-usually just a lot of beer, and lost about 50 pounds, started biking 30 miles a day, and had a lot of the same effects you described. A few times a year I go to the deer lease and would stop for a case of beer on the way and then just feel awful again. I finally just decided that I probably drank all that needed to already and it’s okay to let it go, I’m not in my 20s anymore and want to be around for my son. Luckily long term damage was done and all of my labs come back in great shape for liver, heart, and kidney function. My colonoscopy was clean and I’m very lucky. Good on you for quitting

Also 45 years old, and I'm feel ya.

Been drinking since I was 15, got healthy in my early thirties, dropped a ton of weight, cut back on drinking, and started working out 5-6 days a week.

I still work out 5-6 days a week, but during Covid, I started drinking a couple of IPAs every week day, and binge drinking a 6 pack + mixed drinks on Saturday and Sunday. This was also during Covid.

Kept that up for a few years until this year, when I started white knuckling the week days, but kept the binge drinking on Friday, Saturday, and Sunday.

So, decided to just quit drinking for a while to see what happened since I was tired of coming out of the weekend more tired than I was going in.

In just two weeks, blood pressure dropped from a consistent ~130/90 to ~115/80, and I've dropped 7 pounds, most of it water weight, but I'm sure some of it was actual body weight because I'm not sucking down an extra 5,000 calories of alcohol every week.

Also, anxiety has dropped considerably and I have a ton more energy. I love IPAs....but, it's kinda hard to justify drinking considering what it was doing to me.

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andiinAms@reddit

Alcohol is absolutely one of the nastiest things we can put in our bodies, hands down.

Nice to see the younger generations avoiding it these days!

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Hootinger@reddit

Agreed. I stopped drinking and I actually have good sleep and wake up feeling refreshed.

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os_beef@reddit

Yep. Quit in my late 30s, and went through a lot of personal growth. Mental accuity and focus mostly came back within the next several months and years. I missed so much by being drunk for that long. Life is way better now.

Still got ADHD, but I'm pretty sure that has always been there.

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Right_Hour@reddit

46 here checking in with the same. Been a tough 10 years, to be honest. So, yeah, beer and/or wine daily, plus cocktails etc. When I realized earlier this year that I haven’t been sober for longer than 2 days in a row and a first thought that went into my brain was “damn, that’s rough, I need a drink”, the lightbulb went off in my head finally.

Just 2-weeks sober and I’m already feeling better. First thing I noticed is how much better my sleep has gotten.

The goal is to get back to what it was before - no more than one day a week, and not every week at that.

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I had to quit drinking about 2 and a half years ago for medical reasons. I really didn't want to, I really liked drinking. I don't even miss it anymore now and actually am a bit grossed out by it (I don't care if anyone else drinks, but the smell of beer makes me think of the taste and it's all negative reaction now). How much better I feel waking up in the morning alone has made it worth it. I have some regrets I didn't do it sooner, but I'm glad I did and I'll never go back.

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Workamania@reddit

My drinking has fallen off a cliff in my mid to late 40s. I can only handle a few drinks a week. My max is one shot, one beer, or two high noons. Don't worry about it. We aren't pledges trying to rush a frat. Enjoy your life with or without booze.

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TheDukeKC@reddit

3 years sober for me. I just hit 40.

There is nothing I’ve done that has improved my life more than quitting drinking. Nothing compares. You can’t out run it and the older you get the harder it becomes.

I never tell people to stop drinking but I will tell them how dramatically it has improved my life.

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gravteck@reddit

Almost 10 for me. Had to "go in" a couple times before it stuck, but it changed my life, literally reborn.

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user_1445@reddit

If you ever visit the Garmin subreddit you’ll be amazed at the number of people who have given up or at least severely cut back drinking once they see what it does to their daily fitness.

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Zuribus@reddit

Yes, the watch is screaming at you if you overdo, it can tell you are wasted with the stress alarm...and it shows on your morning sleep reports, like, you see literal data that alcohol screws you up badly. I turned off all that, I just need the GPS anyways. But Im on my 133 days sober...and I would be lying if my Garmin didn't help a bit with that decision.

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cointerm@reddit

Yeah, I quit drinking about 10 years ago. I really noticed the change in cognitive processes after about 6-9 months. It was a big change. Better memory, better thinking, faster. That really was the biggest thing for me, I wish I had done it sooner.

Great job on quitting, dude.

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PeonyDropper@reddit

You are a spouse’s dream!

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BlankPaperTiger@reddit

I quit a couple years ago. I had no idea how much of an impact it was having on just my general mood. I went from being the guy no one wanted to be around at work because I was so miserable to a guy a lot of supervisors seem to want on their team (or so i'm told, i'm still a bit skeptical). It's weird cause in a lot of ways I feel like i haven't changed who I am, but according to my boss it's like working with someone else entirely.