What are the best names in UK sport?

There was a horse called **Hoof Hearted** for the simple reason that when am excited commentator would say the name quick in a run in it would be pronounced *Who Farted*

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Ivelearnednuffink@reddit

Wayne Rooney wanted to call one of his horses Norfolk Enchants for similar reasons.

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Fine-State8014@reddit

When I worked at the bookies years ago, there was a gelding called noble locks that used to run.

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stewieatb@reddit

That's the nickname of one of our greyhounds.

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Few-Calligrapher3910@reddit (OP)

No no, I didn't specify, you are correct. I would have done exactly the same.

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stevenjameshyde@reddit

Ice hockey player and former Gladiator Hilton Ruggles

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No-Permission8050@reddit

I always thought 80's dartist Byron Wozencraft had a great name

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ToadInTheHole7181@reddit

Sounds like someone from a Harry Potter book.

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Bantamtim@reddit

Bradford City signed a Chilean forward called Willy Topp in 2007. He liked to play in the hole.

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Representative-Bass7@reddit

There was a footballer who they just called him by his surname Kanu, his first name was Nwankwo, or the German, Kuntz

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Jip_Jaap_Stam@reddit

Former Swindon footballer Danny Invincible

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yearsofpractice@reddit

Always a fan of the 90s Southampton player Nicky Banger

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detectivebabylegz@reddit

NFL has some doozies, like General Boott, Ha Ha Clinton-Dix and Kool-Aid Mckinstry. As for UK sports, I've always been partial to Ricky van Wolfswinkel.

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Krakshotz@reddit

There’s a guy who plays/played for Duke University called Memorable Factor, he was born in London and went to Eton

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Few-Calligrapher3910@reddit (OP)

They have to be sponsored surely? I know US sports and sponsorship to a degree, but that has to be the case, right?

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detectivebabylegz@reddit

General Booty is legit, but the others are just nicknames from family members that stuck.

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Few-Calligrapher3910@reddit (OP)

That's insane. I love the NFL nicknames that stay for years, but that's still insane.

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Casual_Precision@reddit

Let’s not forget former football agent and director, Neville Neville

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abfgern_@reddit

And Edward Woodward formerly of Man United

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pjwlondon@reddit

As Noel Coward is supposed to have said of the actor of that name "Sounds like a fart in the bath"

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Legitimate_Corgi_981@reddit

I thought he got burnt up inside of the Wickerman?

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Few-Calligrapher3910@reddit (OP)

I love the Neville Neville thing. His parents obviously hated him

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What used to be my local cricket club had a scorers hut that was paid for in the will of a long time player. His name was Richard Perfect. Now of course as it was funded by him there's a nice big sign on the front to thank him. He didn't go by his full name though, so there's just a big sign that says: "In memory of Perfect, Dick"

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Belsnickel7777@reddit

Rafael Scheidt is one that I remember from my childhood, signed for what was big money at the time by Celtic... And turned out to be as his surname suggests

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Intelligent_Mine_121@reddit

Steele Von Hoff (not British but competed in Britain often enough) Fairfax Fenwick Wingfield Fiennes Billy Twelvetrees (nicknamed '36' by his Irish teammate)

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Greedy-Ad-3779@reddit

Ex footballer, Fitz Hall. Not particularly interesting until you hear his nickname, 'One Size'.

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TrashbatLondon@reddit

Also, ex footballer Dele Adebola had to reassure people that he didn’t get the Ebola virus, its just his name.

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newnortherner21@reddit

The acting head coach of Burnley FC is Michael Jackson. Though he would like to be called Mike.

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kittysparkled@reddit

Someone already mentioned my contribution, Steele Retchless, so I'll just say hello fellow CIS listener and are you a small town murder turkey too?

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Few-Calligrapher3910@reddit (OP)

I don't even remember how I found it, but I was there for the first episode. I'm a Patreon now because I like the bonuses as well. They're just likable and I like to support them.

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kittysparkled@reddit

They got me through lockdown, which is when I found them. I'm a Patreon supporter too 😀 is live to go to a live show but no way do I want to go to the USA at the moment.

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Few-Calligrapher3910@reddit (OP)

Choo Choo!

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kittysparkled@reddit

Yaaaaaay!

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Few-Calligrapher3910@reddit (OP)

Yay indeed!

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ChewpapaNeebrae@reddit

Rochdale AFC Goalkeeper Oliver Whatmuff 😕

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Few-Calligrapher3910@reddit (OP)

Oh, that poor kid.

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SubTeamLeader@reddit

Sorry but what? https://preview.redd.it/2k12wgfow41h1.jpeg?width=2674&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=13aeffcba949099dd47dc5287ea16669879c07c0

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Few-Calligrapher3910@reddit (OP)

Absolutely

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StatisticianUsual471@reddit

Rod fanni

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lidlberg@reddit

Max Power or Jan Vennegoor of Hesselink

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Few-Calligrapher3910@reddit (OP)

Haven't thought of Jan in years. He was so good.

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-Rhymenocerous-@reddit

Theres pig racing online and theres one particular squealy-boi called Piggy Smalls

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Few-Calligrapher3910@reddit (OP)

Ok, this officially my favourite this far .

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datguysadz@reddit

Richard Money, obviously nicknamed Dickie Dosh.

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Green-Strategy-6062@reddit

Fanny Chmelar

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matthewmayer@reddit

Ebony Salmon

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b1ggu5dicku5@reddit

Freddie Flintoff

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Sendhimoffdiabolical@reddit

A couple of 90s rugby league players, aussies but played over here, Tulsen Tollett and Steele Retchless.

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Few-Calligrapher3910@reddit (OP)

Steele Retchless? Are you serious? He's got porn or WWE written all over that name.

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Sendhimoffdiabolical@reddit

There's more... like Fui Fui Moi Moi.

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AffectionateAd8377@reddit

Came just to say FuiFui MoiMoi. 😅 Best name ever. Tried so hard to get ar'lass to let me call one of kids FuiFui. 😂

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Sendhimoffdiabolical@reddit

Haha. I feel like there's more, you know. A load will come to me through the night 😂

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Few-Calligrapher3910@reddit (OP)

Steele Retchless? Are you serious? He's got porn or WWE written all over that name.

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Murka-Lurka@reddit

Micky Mellon Footballer

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