Delivery drivers of the UK, what is the wildest thing you’ve ever seen on a delivery?
Posted by Salem-dolly@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 326 comments
I went to a kids party and had my face painted. Came home, completely forgot about it and later answered the door to the delivery driver. It wasn’t until I opened the door and saw his face that I remembered my face was painted like a donkey. It made me wonder what other strange/funny things drivers see every day?
CheekMaleficent3654@reddit
Did a delivery outside Bradford upon Avon. As I approached the house I could see through the window and a woman was lying on the sofa, naked and pleasuring herself.
EatingCoooolo@reddit
Ladies, if the delivery driver was sexy and he asked for some what would you have said?
Percypocket@reddit
If he used the word 'nookie' it could be Jacob Elordi asking and I'd slam the door in his face
CountvanSplendid@reddit
What about ‘have it off’ or ‘a bit of how’s your father?’
From_Strange_Seeds@reddit
Now then love, mind if I shimmy it up you for a fair go?
behemuffin@reddit
Spot of the old rumpy pumpy?
EatingCoooolo@reddit
What if he just said “some”?
Candid_Low_926@reddit
Let me fulfil your fantasy. Yes. But unlikely in your case. You win some, you lose some. Never a threesome.
EatingCoooolo@reddit
Lol nah, that would never be me.
EatingCoooolo@reddit
People are downvoting instead of answering the question
Familiar-Woodpecker5@reddit
Ask tradies, it happens more than women let on.
0rlan@reddit
Why the downvotes? Never happened for me, but I do know for 100% certain of several occasions this has happened!
Familiar-Woodpecker5@reddit
No idea. I know a few tradies and I’ve heard many stories. I would have happily given my electrician more than a cuppa.
0rlan@reddit
You mean like a biscuit? Lol 🤔
AllThatIHaveDone@reddit
If strange woman came to your door and asked you for sex, can you honestly say you'd be happy to let them in? Seems like a good way to get robbed and/or raped to me.
EatingCoooolo@reddit
If I was single, I would pour her a gin and tonic and we’d chat first.
Familiar-Woodpecker5@reddit
Such a gent
EatingCoooolo@reddit
First wine and dine then 69. 😂😂
Agitated-Handle-7750@reddit
Banging a woman that came to your door begging for a shag doesn’t equate to wining and dining just cos you lubed her up with a gin my man.
AllThatIHaveDone@reddit
Robbers and rapists being famously incapable of drinking either, of course.
Octoboy1@reddit
If shes offering me sex then definitely not. There has to be something wrong with her
dr_herbalist@reddit
Some of us would risk it.
Familiar-Woodpecker5@reddit
For a biscuit
AllThatIHaveDone@reddit
I'm not that desperate 😅
yeeyeevee@reddit
i’m sorry you mean the teeny tiny town next to mine? the whole country and you’re telling me something that happened like 4 miles away from me
CheekMaleficent3654@reddit
Yes. Winsley to be exact.
Have_Other_Accounts@reddit
... Go on
CheekMaleficent3654@reddit
I couldn't stand there staring. Just knocked on the door and she answered securing her dressing gown.
FeedingTheBadWolf@reddit
You didn't even let her finish 😭 appalling
HesitantBrobecks@reddit
Boss: "and why did this delivery take you over 20 minutes?"
Particular_Good_8682@reddit
Did you say "need a hand" 😜
MaskedBunny@reddit
"I have a 'package' for you"
King_Six_of_Things@reddit
Did you happen to hear a distant guitar playing 🎶bow chicka wow wow🎶? 😆
oncejumpedoutatrain@reddit
'Carry on, was right there!
Anxious-Haggis@reddit
“Special delivery”….
blitzwig@reddit
Haha, typical Bradford upon Avon!
ian_s@reddit
Man, have you never seen American pie?
space_coyote_86@reddit
"hi... I have a package for you"
Daveddozey@reddit
Bend and snap
Top_Explanation_3383@reddit
Was she hot?
CheekMaleficent3654@reddit
She was quite attractive, early 40s. Didn't show any embarrassment, don't think she realised I'd spotted her.
staminaplusone@reddit
"Well, i'll let you get back to it"
AbjectGovernment1247@reddit
Oh that was just Sandra.
sandra_nz@reddit
Lies! I'm in Cheshire.
anomalous_cowherd@reddit
Lies! You're clearly Sandra in New Zealand.
Reddit Detectives win again!
sandra_nz@reddit
I'm not sure that place really exists.
TapVast4683@reddit
Is it near Old Zealand?
RagingMassif@reddit
I've been there. It doesn't.
anomalous_cowherd@reddit
Either it does and you're wrong, or it doesn't and... who's saying this?
AbjectGovernment1247@reddit
I thought it's where the Hobbits lived?
thunderkinder@reddit
Well it's not on all the maps, you might be right 😂
AbjectGovernment1247@reddit
There's more than one naked Sandra?!?
I'm shocked!
hungrybuniker@reddit
Of course! Naked Sandra Nude Sandra Tits out Sandra Bare boobed Sandra Free Fanny Sandra Glimpse-her-Gash Sandra..... The list goes on!
AbjectGovernment1247@reddit
Pass the smelling salts!
I don't think I can handle this new knowledge.
theautisticneo@reddit
I wonder if that was my aunt
WhoThenDevised@reddit
That was the one and only time delivery came early.
miIk-skin@reddit
Pretty good.
racloves@reddit
I think I saw that on another website…
JohnLennonsNotDead@reddit
Did she answer the door and say just eat?
mkeytail@reddit
she was just navigating the canal
blamordeganis@reddit
“Dear Penthouse. I thought your readers might be interested to hear about something that happened to me the other day …”
Fragrant_Ad3224@reddit
You are Robin Askwith and I claim my 5 pounds!
genxerrr@reddit
That's a very nice expensive village.
Przyer@reddit
Wasn’t the driver but my friend had one last delivery left and we were gonna hit the gym after. I was on the way so he picked me up.
He delivered a box of cakes to a baby reveal shower thing, he knocked on the door; heard a “come in!” And boom he walk out with pink dust all over him. They thought he was the dad and let off all those smoke and confetti things.
exgiexpcv@reddit
"GENDER REVEAL!!! YOU'RE A GIRL NOW, HA-HA!"
BakaZora@reddit
Assigned Female At Delivery
exgiexpcv@reddit
I honestly was not expecting downvotes for that one, I thought it was fairly good-natured.
ans-myonul@reddit
Trans person here - your comment is hilarious, don't worry 😀
DrRudeboy@reddit
I'm almost entirely sure the downvotes didn't come from pro-trans people.
exgiexpcv@reddit
Fair enough.
exgiexpcv@reddit
Got nothing but love you, my sibling!
Faith75070@reddit
Congratulations! It's a girl dad! Your friend must have been really surprised to be reavealed as dad.
Boat_Original@reddit
Was he though? You would've thought the mother would know who the father was...
Przyer@reddit
They didn’t check the door. Just one of the girls shouted come in
GreenCup3426@reddit
Chuckling at 'baby reveal'. It's like, congratulations, its definitely a tiny human 😂
dervish666@reddit
That’s brilliant
This_Suit8791@reddit
Many times people have came to the door mid shower/bath/shave. Best one didn’t happen to me but my friend who I was on the phone to at the time was just about to knock on the door when the person (man) opened the curtains while being completely naked. Didn’t think you could hear shock until that day lol.
Turbojelly@reddit
Woman is having a bath and the doorbell rings. She rishes downstairs naked and asks through the door: "Who is it?" She recieves the answer: "The blind man". So she opens the door, naked. The mans says: "Here's you blinds, nice tits."
ExaminationDefiant13@reddit
But how fast *did* she rish?
Wasted_Existence_544@reddit
Faster than the Flish
exgiexpcv@reddit
I've done this, sadly. I've learned over years that keeping the SIL happy makes the brother's life marginally happier, and she likes borderline expensive / hard-to-find forms of alcohol.
I do a deep dive, researching one of her favourite bevvies, and find a reasonably obscure but very highly-rated bottle of booze internationally, order it, and arranged delivery, which will require me being at home because it requires a signature. It doesn't arrive on the date specified. I'm a bit unhappy, but OK, things happen. I call the delivery service, and they assure me that it will arrive the next day. It doesn't. I call again, am assured again, and the next day, right as I'm in the shower, the doorbell rings.
Shampoo in hair, etc. But I got it.
And she loved it, so -- nice.
Round_Grand_4716@reddit
I was mid wee and I heard my 4 year old answer the door to a delivery driver. I don't know how I didn't fall down the stairs trying to get dressed and run at the same time.
hhfugrr3@reddit
Just reminded me of the time my 6 year old came upstairs happily holding a sweet. I asked where he'd got it. He said a man at the door gave it to him. Needless to say I ran down the stairs to find out who this fucking sweetie weirdo was. By the time I got there, I could see Santa's sleigh a bit up the road and loads of people following it along. Turns out that some local group run a Santa's Sleigh around town at Xmas and that day was our turn. My kid and opened the door and got himself a sweetie.
redsteve72@reddit
Pulled up to deliver a parcel and as I was getting close to the door a man ran out and jumped into his car and sped off in a hurry, thinking I’d missed the opportunity to deliver it I knocked on the door just to see if anyone else was home. I’m guessing it was his girlfriend who answered and had assumed he’d forgotten something and had come back as she answered the door in a tiny t-shirt, I was looking down at the parcel so as I looked up I saw everything below the waist and she squealed in shock, pulled her top down and everything popped out above. I handed the parcel over and politely said “good morning”. Made me smile for ages too.
GJThunderqunt@reddit
When I was a paper boy, I happened upon our PE and history teacher stark bollock naked in her garden.
The next day in history the atmosphere was... Tense.
Responsible_Wall6834@reddit
Was there a naked PE and history teacher in the garden, or a naked PE teacher and a naked history teacher in the garden?!
blitzwig@reddit
I think we need to add an English teacher to assist at this point.
tiredbutnotdefeated@reddit
And a maths teacher to count how many are naked now
JohnWoosDoveGuy@reddit
This was what I was thinking. Hiw many naked teachers were involved here?
GJThunderqunt@reddit
Just the one teacher, actually.
staminaplusone@reddit
Still no luck catching them teachers then?
Dropbear2026@reddit
Was the teacher Mr Peter Ian Staker?
0rlan@reddit
Studying biology?
SpudFire@reddit
Can women be stark bollock naked? That seems like a gender-specific phrase
mkeytail@reddit
Come now, women can have bollocks
hamshanker69@reddit
Yeah, top bollocks.
OnlyStu@reddit
Chesticals
Thinkinstuf@reddit
I have heard women call men's moobs that.
GJThunderqunt@reddit
I mean it would be a biological sex related thing, not gender. Women can have bollocks too.
But also, yes.
Johnny_Glib@reddit
I'm guessing you failed biology class.
PrincessPK475@reddit
Public health scientific researcher.
Gender and sex are different and there are three biological sexes not two.
Google complete Androgen Insensitivity Syndrome.
Jesus__of__Nazareth_@reddit
What's the third gender? David Bowie?
PrincessPK475@reddit
Google is right there my guy. I gave directions and everything. Don't ask for free labour.
CAIS - if your thumbs are tired will also work.
Jesus__of__Nazareth_@reddit
Holy shit, it's called a joke.
FeedingTheBadWolf@reddit
Omg I went to the gym once and our PE teacher was there. She was like 63 and not in a cubicle and just towelling herself enthusiastically by the lockers, tits a'swinging, chatting to me about this and that. Like clearly completely fucking unfazed that she'd encountered a student in the wild and certainly wasn't about to cover up her lady garden on account of it.
I actually thought she was a legend for that, I had newfound respect for her after that day lol
GJThunderqunt@reddit
Very similar, totally unfazed at the time but between then and the next day she'd clearly thought "oh shit, Glastonbury is a 14 year old boy" and 14 year old boys were particularly shitty humans back in 1993/4.
FeedingTheBadWolf@reddit
Hahaha oh dear. To be fair this happened in the literal final term of school so I guess she knew she'd be rid of me soon regardless 😛
Faith75070@reddit
She knew exactly what she was doing. Glad you didn't mind.
PennyPitstop68@reddit
Why was the OP in the garden? Was the two subject teacher in the front garden? Or were they in the back garden? Was the teacher sunbathing? Exercising ? Gardening? In the nuddy so many questions.
GJThunderqunt@reddit
Delivering a paper. It was the front garden which I had to walk through to get to her door. To put the paper in
earlgreytoday@reddit
Maybe OP was playing Theft and Shrubbery.
ozzieowl@reddit
We do beg your parden but we are in your gar......... f*uckin hell!
mkeytail@reddit
She forgot her PE kit
smedsterwho@reddit
That's all ancient history now
Fatbeau@reddit
Donkeys years ago, my auntie tied my grandads hair into pigtails with pink ribbon while he was asleep. The insurance man knocked at the door and grandad answered the door with his new hairdo! This was in the 1940s
Chordsy@reddit
This happened to my late mum and I will always giggle at this.
My mum loved halloween, and in the village we lived in was big on the kiddies trick or treating. So my mum gothed up (her new romantics 80s outfits) and handed out sweeties for the kids when they knocked on.
This halloween night I was also waiting for an Amazon parcel.
Amazon guy knocked on.
My mum opened the door with her theatrics
Amazon guy looked bemused but handed her the parcel.
My mum, mortified, extended her arm with the bowl of sweets
The amazon guy took a handful of sweeties, and left.
Bigallround@reddit
I delivered to a dude with a parrot on his shoulder once. Got a £10 bonus for winning the "most unique photo" competition the company ran. I believe they posted it on their various social media pages.
nuadusp@reddit
they got permission to do that? do they like contact them after the delivery or something?
Bigallround@reddit
As long as you don't include a person's face in the delivery photo, everything else goes I believe.
nuadusp@reddit
That's a worrying concept
Particular_Good_8682@reddit
Well all they take a pic off is you at your front door, so depends what you have in your porch on show to the whole world lol
hamshanker69@reddit
As long as it's good compliant, yes, but we've had complaints from people that their feet were in the POD photo.
Deadandbeauty@reddit
I once had a police officer pop in for something mundane related to our building. My sister and I asked to take a photo of him pretending to arrest her, he took one too for the station wall 😅
Frantastic79@reddit
If you want to expand your portfolio, I often answer the door with one of my snakes around my neck. :)
Upset-Elderberry3723@reddit
Aren't they supposed to be procedurally deleted? Seems like the kind of thing you would need customer consent for.
exgiexpcv@reddit
Weird. We had a guy in my neighbourhood who went everywhere with his parrot in his shoulder; he always wore the same vest with the parrot's spoor spattered on it as well. People knew well not to mess about with the bird, too. Pretty bird. Bitey bird.
nightfire_83@reddit
Bit different, but i was a window cleaner and my mate saw a young teen going hell for leather to some porn on the house we was doing. Don't think he even knew we was there.
Mate came down the ladder and left that window
CharieRarie@reddit
A few days post partum, I answered the door in my dressing gown while feeding my newborn (expecting a close friend).
It was a delivery man.
The dog ran to greet him, I lunged for the dog, my dressing gown fell open, baby came off the boob and started screaming, milk going everywhere, naked toddler then appeared holding a full potty to tell me she’d done a wee… to top it all off, I burst in to floods of tears!
The poor poor man just gently placed the parcel on the floor, and very slowly backed away. This was 10+ years ago and I still feel so sorry for the guy!
I-am-bea-@reddit
I have an almost exact story 😂 Boob out, crying baby, my 4 &6 year old going crazy behind me, and I cried so hard at her but my posty was a wonderful lady, she closed the front of my dressing gown as I cried and told me I was doing such a good job and how she always regretted not breastfeeding her kid, I sobbed harder, I was 9 days post section with my 3rd, middle of covid, she shouldn't have even been that close to me! Her name was Dianne and she stopped to check on us pretty regular after that, just for a minute or two over the next few months anytime we had a package or we had the door open for the dog, I was miles away from all family, Husband was working and only able to come home 3 days a week to keep us safe, I had PPD, I probably wouldn't have survived that first few months without her check ins... I'm convinced she was an angel, she even brought me a Christmas present! I bought her one too (and the kids made her a card) as a thanks for checking in, but I never expected anything! She must have changed routes or something, because once 3 was crawling, we never saw her again... I say very grateful words for her to whatever higher power exists very regularly 🖤
murrayflew@reddit
This made me feel emotional, some people are just so wonderful.
I-am-bea-@reddit
People are beautiful, I love that as soon as I start to lose my faith in myself/humanity/life, the universe always seems to throw me something to remind me that life is actually wonderful and people are mostly truly good! I've been through some pretty horrendous things, and because of this, I live by a 'Be who you needed' mantra, because people have always been who I've needed, if only in some seemingly small way. Dianne the post lady genuinely saved my life, and she probably has no idea at all 🖤
CautiousJump3942@reddit
Oh yeah I’ve definitely answered the door with my baps out during early post partum. Didn’t even have the baby in my arms for context either. Luckily, she knew me and knew I’d just had another baby 😂.
AbjectGovernment1247@reddit
Motherhood is not for the weak! 😄
MaskedBunny@reddit
Neither is delivering parcels it seems.
AbjectGovernment1247@reddit
I'm honestly thinking of retraining as a delivery driver.
Sounds interesting....
ProfCupcake@reddit
Reminder that there are two children and a bucket of piss involved in this story.
AbjectGovernment1247@reddit
Maybe, I'll stick with my current job....
The_Red_Thirst@reddit
Creepy fuck
ridethetruncheon@reddit
I had a breastfeeding titty out to a delivery man once. I can relate 😭
Thatusernameisinvali@reddit
Same here. There was no chance of me disturbing that baby 🥴
_FreddieLovesDelilah@reddit
Breast feeding amazes me so much like women’s bodies are fucking awesome.
Thatusernameisinvali@reddit
It doesn't feel very awesome when they're pulling your shirt down in the middle of asda! But yeah it's pretty cool. It feels like every day I learn a new benefit to it. My little one has just turned one and we're still going strong
Bertish1080@reddit
Remember my ex wife doing that in Sainsbury’s, staff were good enough to ask if she wanted to go somewhere more private but she declined politely. I was bagging up the shopping and my daughter then decided that it was a good time to turn her head to see what I was doing 🤦
AnastasiaDevlin@reddit
Tiddy witchcraft
ridethetruncheon@reddit
Awh babe this is the cutest. 16 months I did ❤️ imagine a whole human falling out of you (unmedicated birth), then your tits just feed them for 16 months. It was absolutely absurd on reflection.
Ok_Monitor_7897@reddit
Nothing reminds you that you are mammal more!
CharieRarie@reddit
It is magical! This particular incident aside, I loved feeding my babies. Made me feel like I had super powers, keeping these tiny humans alive with the awesome power of my breasts 😄
noname2808559@reddit
And me! They must see a lot 😂
PrincessPK475@reddit
I very much would like the delivery men in question to begin chiming in on this thread actually 🤣
Live-Negotiation3743@reddit
Postman has seen my boobs more than my husband at this point
FeedingTheBadWolf@reddit
That sounds so stressful!!!
If I was your delivery driver I would have come in, popped the kettle on for you, instructed you to sit down and drink your tea, emptied out the potty, dressed the toddler and petted the dog. But I guess IRL that would be considered weird. I just hate to see people struggling and I'm a mother myself, so...
Then again I guess delivery drivers are on a very tight schedule.
I have definitely had my BFing boob out on more than one occasion. In fact it was in the corner of an Evri delivery photo at one point ...
CharieRarie@reddit
Oh bless you, that is so kind. You are a lovely human!
I must admit, I did find the baby/toddler days a LOT. Lots of cute moments and special memories, but very full on. My kiddos are all older now and things are much calmer. Little kids are lush, but I’m loving big kids even more. They even make me cups of tea! Plus I get sleep now haha. We have a gorgeous baby niece nearby though, so still plenty of baby cuddles. I’m very lucky 🥰
FeedingTheBadWolf@reddit
Aww that sounds lush! At 2 and 4 we are still deep in those trenches with ours 😂 I find the toddler period not so bad but babyhood was horrific. Like, I miss it, sentimentally, I miss my kids being tiny etc, but I don't miss what life was like back then..wish I could just time travel back and spend time with them then but with my current level of sleep satisfaction 🤣
CharieRarie@reddit
Yes, exactly that!!
MuppetFactory@reddit
If it’s any consolation, I opened the door to the Amazon guy with my whole nipple accidentally hanging out. I only realised after I shut the door. I had just finished pumping and thought I’d pulled my tshirt back up properly but alas no. I was so used to having my boobs out all the time I just didn’t notice. Poor bloke.
StonLenslow@reddit
I’m sure he wasn’t too horrified. Probably went to the pub later and escalated the incident to you both now having an affair.
Curly_Angels@reddit
🤣
-cunningstunt@reddit
My neighbour said she did this to the Evri driver once. Luckily he was our regular driver who knew she had just had a baby. She said he really politely pointed it out and told her not to worry, he’s a dad so he understands. She was mortified though!!
National_Entry8708@reddit
Are you me? Because my postie definitely had similar experiences around that time lol
CharieRarie@reddit
Lol! Glad it’s not just me, chaotic mothers unite! 😄❤️
Due-Republic-1686@reddit
This wins. I haven’t read the others. I don’t need to to know that this wins.
PrincessPK475@reddit
🤣 thank you for painting this picture because it's oh so very real
CharieRarie@reddit
The glamour of being a parent, eh? 😂
Lettuce1939@reddit
🤣🤣
KimShibbyBob@reddit
I had our postie look through our side window to see if I was in to accept a delivery (not seen him before or since), he saw me chilling on the sofa breastfeeding.
bopeepsheep@reddit
I answered the door with unwiped baby draped over my shoulder, bum-out. You bang repeatedly on my door while I'm doing a nappy change? You don't get to complain when I answer.
Highdraulixs@reddit
The last part of your message is so entitled 😂 it's your delivery, you know it's coming - you ordered it and you should be ready for it. They can complain all they want
bopeepsheep@reddit
I ordered someone wanting to talk to me about a political party? Don't recall that.
Anyway, glass door with working doorbell. You ring it, you don't bang on the glass and expect politeness. If he hadn't seen me through the glass he'd have gone away but no, my shouting "come back later" and "stop banging on the door" weren't enough of a clue.
Highdraulixs@reddit
Literally on a thread and reply SPECIFICALLY about deliveries - can't blame me for assuming that at all.
Of course my original reply changes when it comes to unsolicited visits.
bopeepsheep@reddit
It was "how I answered the door as a new mum", in response to the same. Conversation works that way.
Highdraulixs@reddit
You replied to a comment about DELIVERY, because the topic of the thread is specifically about DELIVERIES. Reddit works that way.
bopeepsheep@reddit
Oh noes, the conversation police have arrived. Stay on topic, everyone!
Highdraulixs@reddit
And this is why men run the world and women like you are SAHM. Completely dense.
Thatusernameisinvali@reddit
You soon showed your true colours
bopeepsheep@reddit
Also: guess what happens a lot with a new baby? Deliveries of things from other people, that you really don't have any way of tracking.
Forward_War_6624@reddit
As a posty you wouldn’t believe the amount of doorbells that don’t work or are out of charge. Always better to knock
PrincessPK475@reddit
Funny thing about that.... Babies tend to not time their blow out shits so well and dgaf about your Evri ETA
Highdraulixs@reddit
Okay so then don't complain about them knocking on your door when it does turn up? Not that hard to understand is it
PrincessPK475@reddit
I wasn't complaining. i made a tongue on cheek comment. You ok bro? You need to step outside and watch watch some birds? (Sincere)
Highdraulixs@reddit
I didn't say YOU was complaining? Are you seriously this air headed 😂
PrincessPK475@reddit
Well.... Nobody complained about them knocking? You sure we read the same thread?
Definitely go sit outside for an hour. 2 if you're still feeling this rude and bitter. A hot shower helps x
Highdraulixs@reddit
"You bang repeatedly on my door while I'm doing a nappy change? You don't get to complain when I answer."
Literally above my reply that YOU replied to. Please, get some brain cells, having a conversation with you must be exhausting.
PrincessPK475@reddit
She didn't complain that they knocked. She's saying they don't get to complain about the state she answers the door in with a newborn/toddler - especially given that most drivers will hide a package and leave and not repeatedly knock.
Seriously, you ok? What's going on in life Hun? - again totally sincere.
Highdraulixs@reddit
"You bang repeatedly on my door while I'm doing a nappy change?"
If you don't see how passive aggressive that is, and is obviously complaining, then you need to go back to school and learn to understand basic social queues.
PrincessPK475@reddit
Ok go suffer some more by your own choosing.
I'm more concerned by your irrational level of annoyance over a comment made in jest that really wasn't that deep honestly. But sure, double down.
Highdraulixs@reddit
It's funny how you think I'm annoyed by this, maybe a self reflection?
HideousTits@reddit
Ha! All of your comments have been incredibly aggressive. I think some self-reflection is in order.
You seem very wound up about such a small silly thing. I imagine there’s something else going on in your life right now which would explain the aggression.
Maybe step away from the online bickering and get some air.
PrincessPK475@reddit
🤣
HideousTits@reddit
*were
mierneuker@reddit
If it helps you get over it, it is stupendously funny. Well done, superb work, no notes.
CharieRarie@reddit
I can have a good laugh about it now, I was mortified at the time haha! Thankfully my friend arrived shortly after to provide much needed moral support 😄
Yayzeus@reddit
Have you told this story before on Reddit? It sounds very familiar.
CharieRarie@reddit
Very probably! I’m getting old, I tend to repeat myself ;-)
4x6x8@reddit
This has to be in the prequel series of motherland.
ParadoxicaIIy@reddit
I hope that it was long enough ago that they didn't have to take proof of delivery photo. Yikes
CharieRarie@reddit
Hahaha, no he didn’t need to take a photo thankfully!
rainbowruin@reddit
I do home shopping delivery. Wildest I've personally seen is when delivery to a regular customer, older fella lives alone and just gets his weekly beer delivered. Pulled up and went to the door and knocked all as normal. Moments later the door is thrown wide open and a young lady dressed as a saucy maid is stood posed in the door way, obviously expecting someone else. Her look of embarrassed horror still makes me laugh and I've never seen someone empty the crates as fast while one handedly holding their skirt down. Delivered to the same address since and its always been the old fella and never got an explanation.
No_Recording1088@reddit
She could have been a relative staying there and expecting her fella to arrive. The older man was probably gone away that day and she was house sitting etc and she wasn't told by him about the regular beer delivery.
rainbowruin@reddit
Very possible. It was how unexpected it was for me and the poor young lady I think that drove it into wild territory
lxxmng@reddit
I once answered the door to a courier while still painted like a donkey from a kids party. I had completely forgotten it was there until I saw his face. We just stood in silence while I took the parcel. Drivers: what is the strangest thing you have turned up to?
ExultentPisces@reddit
I saw a fella driving a BMW use his indicator before turning.
I went home and told my wife. She said I was crazy, I must’ve been seeing things. But I know what I saw dammit!
rockintheburbs77@reddit
I raise you the fully exposed breastfeeding booby, except I didn’t have a baby attached to mine and I also had a streak of said baby’s💩on my forehead.
glastonbury13@reddit
I run an educational history workshop company
I often answer the door as a...
Pirate Knight Explorer Ancient Egyptian Ancient Greek Ancient Roman Viking 1960s dude ✌🏻
and 20 other costumes I'm too tired to list
I get a lot of comments 😅
TeHNeutral@reddit
Mr Ben?
General_Sector_9892@reddit
Back in the 90's I had a parcel to deliver to a private address on a hot summers day on the edge of the Chase in the Midlands.
A large detached house, down a private driveway. I knocked on the door but there was no answer. There was an unattached building so I pushed a 'delivery left card' and walked to the building.
Looking down the side of the house I saw a woman sunbathing on a sunlounger on the lawn in the rear garden and shouted to her that I had a delivery.
She waved me through and I approached her and asked that she signed, printed and dated my paperwork. Which took her about a minute to do.
The lady of the house didn't bother to get up and continued to lie where she was. Wearing nothing but a bikini, she was probably early 40's. Curvaceous, busty and tanned. She was absolutely stunning and without doubt the most beautiful woman I have ever seen.
Imagine Alexandra Bastedo..... That's how gorgeous she was!
I still don't know if she was teasing or genuinely she didn't realise how sexy she looked just lying there. Her bikini left nothing to the imagination and her body, her looks and her figure were nothing short of perfection.
I made sure I thanked her in my mind as I left. I never delivered there again and I often wondered how she would have looked in tight jeans & high heels.
Her husband was one lucky guy!
sparkysmonkey@reddit
I opened the door to track and trace dressed as a culturally inappropriate French man during Covid
bub-bub-wub@reddit
Did you at least say “Bonjour”?
TeHNeutral@reddit
Ow can I bee of elp
No_Recording1088@reddit
In an "Alloa, Alloa" accent?
SeaIntelligent4504@reddit
Friends were delivering holiday packages to underprivileged kids - one was received by the dad, who was stark naked, hiding his body behind the door....which was glass paned. It was that dimpled privacy glass, but it turns out it doesn't provide much privacy for your privates if they're pushed up against it.
TeapotUpheaval@reddit
He couldn’t afford clothes. 😢
SeaIntelligent4504@reddit
It was more that they'd woken him up and he slept naked.
YorkshireRiffer@reddit
Mick Hucknall and his Pink Pancakes
Uhura-hoop@reddit
Wow
devster75@reddit
😂😂😂
EatingCoooolo@reddit
Lmfao
DonnyDagger@reddit
I used to deliver for a local Chinese when a first passed me test, I thought I knew my area 100%, turns out I didnt. Was handed an adress, never heard of it, used Google maps to get there, gated community hidden away down a country lane hidden in trees, 5 large houses all on one small drive, flash cars on every drive. Got to the one i was delivering to, fuckin upside-down pineapple on a table next to the door. Rang the bell, sure enough a mature lady answered the door, bollock naked apart from a dog collar and lead, I was stunned, didnt read out the price just held the food up, could hear all sorts of noises in the background, they paid for their £50 worth of food with £80 told me to keep change. Was secretly devastated they didnt invite me in. 🤣😭
Lunaspoona@reddit
Delivered to a house, guy answered the door and about 10 girls came running screaming to the door.
They saw me and ran away screaming.
I am 5ft and was 20 at the time. I'm also a woman.
The guy was laughing and apologised, apparently they were expecting a guy.
Not sure what their plans were but i suspect I saved a colleague from being sexually harassed by a group of women.
FlatCapNorthumbrian@reddit
I wonder if your male colleagues would’ve cursed you if you told them there was a chance they were going to be flashed by ten women?
Lunaspoona@reddit
It's still sexual harassment regardless of their gender.
FlatCapNorthumbrian@reddit
Yeah. But most guys I know aren’t going to complain about some lasses flashing them.
FlippingGerman@reddit
There is another answer that does just that, or at least calls it awkward.
Cool_Professional@reddit
Not deliveries, but similar context.
The dad answered the door, behind him in the hall a young boy (5-7) picks up a hammer and just puts a big hole in the plasterboard.
Same day i had a gentleman ask me to assist him in aiming his member to pee into a bottle (he was told no...)
These are just two stories off the top of my head and you see all sorts going on out there
No_Recording1088@reddit
The boy bashing hole in the wall could have been autistic and they do similar stuff like that.
GroundbreakingAsk730@reddit
What a weird thing to say. Im autistic and as a kid never bashed any holes in any walls.
BestEmu2171@reddit
If you want to fit more opportunities for wild tales into each day, use the app from Navm8.com (built by real delivery drivers).
Optikal-Omega@reddit
Former Ocado/Morrisons delivery driver.
Knocked on a door one Sunday morning, the door has two or three steps going up to it. Man answers in nothing but a pair of old stripey boxers, with his knob hanging out of the hole right at my eye level. He wasn't even phased when I told him to put it away.
Had a pair of young female uni students who answered the door in nothing but their knickers, giggling and laughing. Their order was only a few items so I assumed it was some sort of challenge or prank. It wasn't as exciting or sexy as you may think... It was just awkward.
I've called the police after witnessing a woman openly beating her children whilst I delivered their shopping. She had answered the door and a small kid, probably no older than 3 tried to look round her and she just lashes out and stuck him across the face. Another kid was already crying in the house and when she disappeared to take a load of shopping inside, I could hear her shouting and screaming at that one too. It was awful and as much as I wanted to intervene, in that immediate moment, I had no idea what to do. So I went to myvan and called the emergency services. I have no idea what happened to them, but I hope the kids got the help that they needed.
There was a regular woman who was morbidly obese. The only way I can describe her feet and legs were like elephant legs and had blackened. She would sit at the door on a stool and inside her house was piled high with rubbish with like a path carved through it. And the smell.... Oh god. It was beyond awful.
We had a policy of taking shopping inside if the customer requested it. Another lady who seemed lovely asked me to bring it in. Her floors was lined with straw and animal fecal matter. She kept a bunch of rabbits living indoors with her. She had literally turned the downstairs of her house into like a giant rabbit hutch.
That's just a few of the crazier ones. I have more crazy/sad/funny anecdotes from my time working there. I worked there for 7 years including through the lockdowns and absolutely loved it. Visiting peoples homes you really do get to see the very best and very worst of people.
opachki_kobachki725@reddit
Thx for sharing! It was interesting to read
Super-Antelope4605@reddit
Really enjoyed this read!
Salem-dolly@reddit (OP)
Brilliant! I find the general public fascinating 😅
Rich_27-@reddit
I had to deliver a parcel to an address in the next town over, thought I recognised the name, it was a lady that was involved romanticly with my mate.
Went to the address and knocked on the door.
My mates brother answered, he looked rather hot and sweaty as if he had been doing some strenuous exercise at the young ladys address.
He sheepishly took the parcel and I believe the relationship didn't go much further
hhfugrr3@reddit
Is your mate called Rhodri and his sheepish brother, Ryan?
Almost_human-ish@reddit
The thing about sheep and guys with Welsh names is just a stereotype!
Least-Entrepreneur23@reddit
I used to deliver garden sheds and during one delivery, on a fairly rough housing estate, I knocked on the door and a little girl answered, she couldn't have been more than 3 or 4, and she said "Are you my daddy?" (I wasn't)
younghearts_runfree@reddit
my niece used to constantly ask people if they knew where her dad was (he wasn’t lost - he was at work) 😂
No_Recording1088@reddit
That's sad to hear that. Poor kid.
Ok-Spring7906@reddit
I delivered print to a strip bar outside of their opening hours -
Clubs always look real grotty in the cold light of day, and then a bunch of lingeray clad women doing standard every day stuff.
Very un glamorous.
Madassmutha0001@reddit
I had a delivery job a while back and one of the best stories I have is: stopped at a set of traffic lights and this lady pulled up in the next lane, I was able to see down into her car and there she was with her hand between her legs stroking her pussy... the guys back at base went wild until I dropped the word pussy..... cat! No word of a lie a little kitten🐈
Simon170148@reddit
I delivered to a guy who was naked and pleasuring himself on the sofa. He was watching porn on the tv and then after averting my gaze to said tv, I realised he was one of the stars of the show. He invited me into the flat. The next thing I noticed was a video camera on a stand next to the tv pointing to him sat on the sofa and quite possibly recording him pleasuring himself. I did what I think most people would do and left sharpish but a part of me wonders how successful I could have gone on to be as a porn star.
In nearly 2 decades as a delivery driver, no other incidents even nearly as wild.
Galbs@reddit
Did you go in?
Simon170148@reddit
I stepped inside the door. That was as far as I dare go
Huggertron@reddit
Numerous people answering the door naked.
Houses with £50,000 cars sat outside then when someone opens the door there is literally nothing inside the house in regards to possessions or furniture.
Delivering to a two up two down terraced house and women opened the door along with FIVE adult Rhodesian Ridgebacks, I commented on how cosy it must be in there with them, she said yes it was, considering the other 3 were in the back garden.
Rowen Atkinson answering the door.
Patrick Mower answering the door.
Roy “chubby” Brown answering the door.
Doing a delivery to a full on Mr Trebus style hoarder where they couldnt open the front door and I had to pass the package to them throw a gap in the front window.
basod1@reddit
I was manager of delivery drivers. We lose parcels every day. Even when we spend an hour on cctv trying to locate. One time there was bottle of piss in a tray. Took 30 mins of meticulous tracking and we located which driver it belonged to. He was emptying his van of trays and forgot to empty that particular tray.
Pixiebel81@reddit
Someone I know was an extra in game of thrones. Came home after filming a battle and ordered a takeaway, only realised he hadn't washed the makeup off after getting a horrified look from the delivery driver and then saw him running back down the drive like a bat out of hell
__Elwood_Blues__@reddit
I bet he was gone when the morning came.
Far_Bad_531@reddit
Oh It’s cold and lonely in the deep dark night
emdave@reddit
But I won't do that.
shiveryslinky@reddit
I answered the door dressed as a facsimile of The Girl With The Pearl Earring, but it was styled solely using baby clothes and a cotton wool ball tied to my ear.
Lockdown was a strange time.
Ok_Leadership_2967@reddit
Slightly less embarrassing than if you’d been the girl with the pearl necklace
LoquaciousAlanqa@reddit
Naked grandma.
cloudylemo@reddit
It’s going to sound a bit of a boring one, but the wildest thing I ever saw (delivering pizza) was a woman morbidly obese woman sending her 3/4 year old to the door to collect the daily pizza and kebab.
It would be the same order every day. 2 kids meals, 12” pizza, dinner kebab no salad, chips and wedges and a 2L bottle of coke. I saw that every day for 8 weeks and every weekend for 2 years.
The lady was unable to stand and lived on the sofa. Presumably she had help looking after the kids during the day and the dad helped on the evening after work.
Galbs@reddit
Poor kid
reni-chan@reddit
Ew
bitofafixerupper@reddit
I don't know why you're being downvoted so much, it's gross and so sad that she can't look after her toddler
reni-chan@reddit
I mean I love pizza and kebabs. I have doner on nan myself maybe once a month after the gym, but just the thought of eating one every single day makes me sick, hence Ew.
bitofafixerupper@reddit
Oh, well people can eat what they want I guess but the part that I think is foul is the fact her toddler is having to get up and get her food when it should be her getting him food. She's obviously not getting up and taking care of him properly. Poor kid.
starderpderp@reddit
Somehow I enjoy this story more than others. Real look into life of people who you never think about, you know?
inevitablelizard@reddit
This one is just sad.
SpoopySpydoge@reddit
Okay I have a bit of a wild one. Not a delivery driver but an out of hours GP. This is in NI.
Doc was doing a home visit one night and turned out he used to work with the guy who answered the door. Turns out the guys brother had just passed away and was being waked out of the house of the patient he was visiting.
Guy says to the doc ah sure come on in and see him (deceased guy) in the living room. Doc felt too awkward to say no and walks in and there's a good few people in there already just chatting. He looks at the coffin and it's empty and he's wondering wtf is going in and says to the guy where is he?!
Guys says "where you could always find him" or something similar, and points to the end of the fireplace. A couple of people move out of the way and the family had, no joke, made some sort of rope/pulley system to hold the dead guy up with his elbow leaning on the fireplace. Apparently he used to always stand there.
Responsible_Egg_6896@reddit
Delivering to an area full of gypsies, and they'd literally blocked off the road with plastic barriers and were having a bare knuckle boxing fight in the road. I was like wtf, one came over to my van a said feck off or you'll be in the ring with em. I found an alternate route believe me.
sunshinebttrcupfishy@reddit
I want to hear more about gypsies!! In my mind they're all like Brad Pitt in Snatch--a little wild.
Responsible_Egg_6896@reddit
Unfortunately I wasn't offered a caravan or any dags lol. It was a bit strange but if that's how they roll, crack on I say lol
RagingMassif@reddit
I made some deliveries in the Formby area of the UK (Footballers from Manchester and Liverpool live there). WAGS are quite friendly and polite but no gossip.
The only one surprise is one player's delivery instructions were "use PIN 1234 and deliver to the house" so I'm at the end of the drive way and bang in the PIN, doors swing open and I drive up to the house. The house has glass walls, so you can literally be in the drive way and see through the house to the back garden, well between those two was a WAG in her undies. Being a professional minimum wage earner I averted my eyes and rang the door bell, she found a dressing gown and opened the door. We agreed that in future I would ring the door bell before driving up to the house.
AntiqueParty1112@reddit
Delivering pizzas for a country wide franchise in the south east, last order of the night came through 10:45pm. Get there about 11:10pm, knock on the door, no answer but I can hear someone having the absolute granny shagged out of them. Knock again, no answer. Phone the number on receipt, door opens of a women in a t shirt and a guy on the sofa behind her keeping himself to attention waiting for her to come back!!
NoSir7320@reddit
I have never heard that phrase before. Golden - i have tears in my eyes I am lolling so much
Menyana@reddit
Granny!!!!!! You've got me cackling in hysterics
Zenmont@reddit
"granny"?
NotSorryWeMissedYou@reddit
So I was parked up on a break, in a layby/gateway next to the main road out in the hills/countryside and I see a blueish VW estate go by in one direction and think nothing of it.
About 20/30 mins later, I see the same car go past again in the opposite direction, only that he's playing his skin flute while driving. We even locked eyes as he drove past.
Apart from that, the standard people you don't want to see in their lounge/night wear, and I've probably caught a few people off guard by coming early while they're mid-bonk.
_98_98_@reddit
Skin flute 🤣
leopardprintrovert@reddit
This reminds me of the time my husband painted his whole face in red and black devil style for no reason, then answered the door to the pizza delivery man. They just stood chuckling at each other for a bit before going about their evening.
scribe_sg@reddit
Boys being boys 🥰
International_Cow_17@reddit
r/guysbeingdudes
Hollyhop_Drive@reddit
Weirdly wholesome 😄
smurphinden@reddit
At uni I used to deliver for dominos. One time these 2 girls answered in dressing gowns and one 'accidentally' flashed a boob. Almost certainly a dare. That was a good night.
Also had a part time summer job as a postie. Had this huge block of flats and the lift took forever so I used to take the stairs. The stairwell windows looked out onto the bathroom windows in the flats and in one I could see a woman in the shower pleasuring herself with the shower head. Very 'hard' to hide my smirk when I knocked on her door 2mins later to deliver a package (sadly not a euphemism).
shegaveitallaway@reddit
I had been dying fabric red with no gloves, hands and arms all red and wet, I didn't think it looked like blood really but the delivery guy looked horrified.
Hollyhop_Drive@reddit
Way back in the day, temping for a company, I was sending out amount owed letters for paltry amounts. £1.98, 79p, that kind of thing. The first batch has just been taken away to be franked, when I realised I had a cut on my finger that was bleeding profusely and had been for a while.
If you received a debt recovery letter in the late 90s, with blood smeared threateningly across it then I am really very sorry.
Salem-dolly@reddit (OP)
Haha brilliant!
Varabela@reddit
Giraffe in lingerie chasing a one armed guy on a unicycle trying to steal the giraffe’s baby. Mental
JohnLennonsNotDead@reddit
I used to be a milkman, a woman answered the door and took her gown off once. I was flustered to say the least.
It got worse after that as when I got back in the float, I was told there was a bomb on it and couldn’t go under 5mph which was made even more difficult by a large stack of empty boxes in the road.
Moral of the story, always carry a brick.
RiverOk8406@reddit
Alright Dougal
Individual_Pass3933@reddit
I was a driver for Amazon while I studied. Not a lot left to surprise most of us. They have a strict "don't enter the premises rule" that I would skirt if the recipient was visibly disabled, elderly, pregnant or had they hands full with a new born. I'd only really go 1 step into the house and pull the door over as I stepped back. But one time an old dude, 70+ asked if I could put it on the kitchen counter. 5 meters into the house. It was heavy, no problem. Unfortunately I was dodging piles of human shite while carrying 15kgs of whatever the fuck was in the box. Reckon he was just rectally incontinent and couldn't help it, but grim all the same.
Countless guys answering the door in their boxers or pants either hanging out the bottom or visibly hard. They always got an "it's a cold one today" or similar.
A handful of "pizza dare" type scenarios, only a couple of them memorable. One was a woman in her 40s, yoga-mum type build. Absolutely breathtaking gorgeous woman.
welshgirl0987@reddit
I used to deliver pizzas when I was at uni. A voice shouted "open the door" No word of a lie there was a bloke in the hallway with his partner on their knees over the stairs and hes just pounding away "Tips on the side" I was like "the actual?"
DitchViking@reddit
I think the weirdest was probably delivering home shopping. Two houses with an alley between them but connected over the alleyway. Pathway to both gardens was blocked by a clothes airer.
House I want is to the left, so I squeeze my way past and knock and the doors opened by this woman who calls for her husband (who looks eerily similar). Then her sister wife appears. (Not even gotten to the weirdest part yet)
I politely ask if I can move the clothes airer, as I've got like 30 totes to wheel in. "sure, just don't let the sheep out".
I chuckle and carry on, lugging tote after tote of shopping to these three weirdo's, then just as I'm about to leave, I turn and look at the front door of the house next door, which has been left open. In the doorway is the biggest, grumpiest looking sheep I've ever bloody seen, and I live in Devon.
It turns out that second house is solely for that sheep.
I carefully put the airer back across the passageway and gtfo of there.
Wolfdarkeneddoor@reddit
A girl on a gorilla mask standing on a skateboard filming me with a video camera (early 2010s) as she opened the door when I came with a pizza. No idea what that was about. Wasn't the only weird thing to happen that night either.
LadyMirkwood@reddit
In the 90s, it was a Saturday and my mum went out but I was to wait in for delivery of our new oven. I was told after 1pm
So its 10 ish and I'm a bit bored, so teenage goth me decides its a great time time to practice my make up from The Crow movies.
11am, the guy is early and knocks and is greeted by a small girl with full corpse paint make up in pink pj's with poodles on. He just full on loses his shit laughing at me while I stood there like a lemon.
cocacola999@reddit
Reminds me of being locked out after going out, so slept by the door. Milk man woke me up. I must have looked a state after my goth makeup had all run
Satansrideordie@reddit
I’m a postman and every day the same house orders like 10 separate samples of artificial grass. I’m sure he’s trying to fill his garden
Ok_Afternoon_9229@reddit
I put a car in the back of my delivery truck once. Used so many straps yo hold it in place it looked like something out of hellraiser!!!
Ok_Afternoon_9229@reddit
I think the craziest thing was a doll that was a lifelike resemblance of a dead family member (7 year old) but it had their actual hair, nails and teeth inserted into it. Creepy AF!!!
sweetonionchild@reddit
So far, a middle aged man in nothing but bright green briefs, who knew I was coming as I was delivering his fish nd chips. I wouldn’t mind if he made an effort to cover himself with the door or something but he was just stood there without a care in the world
jonathing@reddit
The Tesco driver who delivered my shopping yesterday had to contend with me, wearing only a pair of very tight cycling shorts with the bibs turned down and a heat rate monitor strap. He'd arrived a few minutes early and I had just that moment finished my very sweaty training ride on Zwift.
EricRuaat@reddit
Random but I've been debating on grabbing a bike and kit for zwift, would you recommend or any pros/cons you could share?
incredibubblez@reddit
Vacmaster Cardio is as important as the rest of the kit. You'll hate it otherwise.
jonathing@reddit
I'm an injured racing cyclist so I've been using Zwift for rehab/training while I'm unable to ride outside. I have a kickr core turbo and I'm using my road bike on it with the zwift cog system. I like that I'm able to keep my bike fit and position and I'm able to tweak my fit to accommodate my injuries rather than trying to replicate it on a new frame.
The gamification keep me interested, can I level up on this session, which wheels do I want for this course, etc. Zwift itself is a good tool for controlled training, I can decide to do four hours zone 2 and I can be sure that I'll stick to zone 2 for four hours much more easily than when I would ride outside. But four hours on Zwift is an exercise in mental fortitude, despite all the community aspects and the gamification, it does get a bit boring after a few hours.
If there's anything else you'd like to know just ask.
baggsie_42@reddit
‘Sorry I’ve just KOM.’
togtogtog@reddit
Are you a woman? UU
jonathing@reddit
I am not, I am an emaciated middle aged man
togtogtog@reddit
Once you said 'lycra' I knew that would be the case. But it would have been hilarious if you were a portly middle aged woman with your bibs turned down and a heart rate monitor strap.
And I say that as a portly old woman myself.
Candid_Low_926@reddit
Taylor Zwift?
Overall_Status_5828@reddit
Wanna chat?
jonathing@reddit
Strangely, no he didn't
smedsterwho@reddit
Could have offered him a ride
nothisactualname@reddit
Regular supermarket customer, always asked for crates to be stacked in the doorway, always emptied slowly. Bending over, loose top, no bra.
Pretty sure she did it on purpose...
DizzySweets@reddit
Probably around 2010, I had finished a 14hr night shift in a care home and was dozing in the living room, woke to a frantic knocking at the door. There was a delivery driver, maybe DHL or something, big company, he was shouting "the dogs, the dogs, they're only small, come quick" then he ran down the drive. I was still a bit out of it and shattered but followed him.
He was right, two houses down a litter of pups had escaped, small hole in the fence. They were maybe 4 month old, and I think 5 or 6 of them. I grabbed a plastic box and put them all in and I had the best day whilst waiting for their owners to return! They were a hoot, I posted a letter to the neighbours to let them know where the pups were and we played and napped all day. I still have pics of them somewhere.
Now I'm a bit older and wiser, why the heck did I follow that guy, fuck, that was dangerous. Why did they leave such young puppies outside, dangerous and cruel. I lived on a busy road so could have been a much different day.
x99kjg@reddit
A few years ago I delivered to a block of flats, took forever to get in for one reason or another, but when I did get to the right door it was an end apartment, proper dark and dark hallway, smelt really bad. Door opens and this large man wearing nothing but the tiny pants is stood there. Says "hello sir, nice to see you". Invites me in which I quickly declined, practically ran out of there before I got bummed.
Chelsea2021972@reddit
Long time ago I was delivering on my local estate, and I delivered to an elderly neighbour who I'd known for 20 + years. I rang and he answered in full gimp costume, and in the background was a woman dressed in full leather gear with her boobs on display. I nodded to him,passed him his parcel and left sharpish. I've also had numerous naked men and women, and turned up to one house with an ambulance and police cars outside.
velvevore@reddit
Not a delivery, but I once left a dildo standing upright on the floor in the front room. A council worker walked in there and screamed aloud.
I had no idea why. I didn't see it until after he'd left.
Probably for the best.
Foundation_Wrong@reddit
I delivered a pizza to a very muscular young rugby player who was wrapped in a small towel
-cunningstunt@reddit
One of my regulars at the pub I worked at told me this story. Him and his colleague were delivering a sofa. They pulled up to a house where the woman, who looked and seemed normal enough, met them outside.
They unloaded the sofa and carried it to the front door, she opened it and said ‘follow me’ and casually tiptoed around the multiple piles of shit darted around the hallway.
When the guys refused politely to come in she started screaming abuse at them, most of it homophobic slurs. They dumped the sofa on her front path and left, with her screaming at them the whole time.
parkscon@reddit
I delivered to a house once and a guy in his 60's answers the door in a french maid outfit with a name tag on that said "Madame Fifi"
Another guys last name was Anal. I asked how you pronounce it and he said "as quickly as possible"
InnisNeal@reddit
least he wasnt arsey about it
parkscon@reddit
Bravo!
jelsei@reddit
It was hot as hell last summer, and I was working well into the evening. Too hot for anything but a small white crop top, especially when my old banger of a car had no A/C. I got to the door of a maisonette type flat, one of the last deliveries of my shift. I knock the door and it opens, the door opening to reveal nothing but a quiet young man and a set of stairs.
All of a sudden I hear a massive WOOFWOOFWOOF and this HUGE Boxer dog comes bounding down the stairs, and he launches himself on me, paws over my shoulders. Luckily I am not afraid of dogs and I made a fuss of him - but the guy I just delivered to grabs his dog by the collar and yanks him away, he looked scared shitless.
Before I could make a joke to let him know I was okay and not mad, the guy WHIPS around and faces the wall. I look down, and both of my girls were out on proud display - the Boxer dog's paws had caught on my top and pulled it halfway down my stomach. The guy just mutters a sorry and slams the door as I'm scrambling with my top to put the girls away LOL, it's the funniest story I have and I retell it a lot. Unfortunately, I did not receive a tip.
Cpt_Dan_Argh@reddit
Not a delivery driver, but I have once received a delivery whilst fully dressed as Dracula. Made a joke that it was my new toothbrush he was delivering (it was a large box so thought it was funny at the time) in the Dracula voice. He took a selfie with me and left with such a smile, that's a good memory, must do it again.
Used-Meaning-1468@reddit
Not a driver, but part of a wild delivery.
My friend had some garden bits delivered from littlewoods and one thing was broken so she booked a return.
Her partner had just left for work when there was a knock on the door. She thought it was him, so decided to strip off quickly and try and have a quickie (trying for a baby). So she opens the door and instead of it being her partner it was the delivery driver. She shouted and shut the door.
A couple of days later I was at her house when there was a knock on the door so I answered it. I had a box shoved into my hands and the delivery bloke almost sprinted down the path.
I said to my friend that the driver was a bit of a (beep) and basically shoved the box at me. Well, she starts laughing and tells me the story of what had happened originally. I was mortified.
Even all these years later he will not look at me when he delivers.
Another time, I was practicing for my massage therapist course, so was doing a full body massage on the same friend in the living room. I hear a noise and look out the window and there's the window cleaner. Got an eye full of her knockers. Luckily for her because he's never even upped the price in over 10 years 😂
AshalaWolf_27@reddit
Obligatory naked guy panicking trying to hide behind the door after realising I'm female.
Also, pretty sure I caught someone cheating once. Had called a (female) customer for early delivery, who responded "I'm at work, but my husband should be home". Arrive at the address less than 5 minutes later, knock, and a very hastily dressed woman, who sounded nothing like the one on the phone, answered the door. The husband appeared a few moments later also poorly dressed.
TriBird1983@reddit
I was trying on a new wetsuit and the doorbell went. It would have taken too long to take the suit off so I answered whilst wear it and (as I love multi taskibf) I was breaking in a new pair of heeled boots
mkeytail@reddit
It's what they want to see you should be more worried about.
exgiexpcv@reddit
"Does this . . . excite you? You are intrigued, yes?"
Salem-dolly@reddit (OP)
I’m intrigued!
Bluenose70@reddit
I did a delivery, super hot day - no one answered the door so I went into the garden to leave the parcel in a safe place. Yep, you probably guessed it - I heard a scream, a woman was sunbathing topless or naked, I'm unsure, in her back garden. If she didn't scream I wouldn't even notice she was there, it's so busy tbh. For a while I genuinely thought I was gonna get the sack because amazon will sack you off at the drop of a hat but nothing came of it.
Badlydressedgirl@reddit
Not a driver but I accepted an amazon parcel while getting ready for a Halloween show, so I had black eye contacts in, a bald cap on and a large, fake wound on my chest. Poor lad got quite the shock
oncejumpedoutatrain@reddit
Woman in underwear opens the door, another lady in underwear lying in bed, I see this all from the door.
Man offered to give me (a man) fillatio as a tip, I politely declined.
Another time a quite attractive lady answered the door in underwear and a pink see-thru gown.
Imposseeblip@reddit
Guy came out from the door behind the bloke who answered the front door. He was wearing nothing but black pants and a leather gimp mask. Did a little yelp and retreated back inside lol
Chuffing_Knackered@reddit
Delivering a parcel to a naked man just strutting about the garden. I get it, naturists exist, but it surprised me.
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