Have you experienced blocking out a whole chunk of your life?
Posted by popsy13@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 70 comments
[removed]
Posted by popsy13@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 70 comments
[removed]
zephyrmox@reddit
I believe I have SDAM. I have very little real memory of my childhood. I know certain things happen, but I don't recall them really.
No_Mood1492@reddit
Yeah but for me it was trauma related
theegrimrobe@reddit
same, my whole schooling was very traumatic, i still suffer with the effects of it to this day but the actual memories of it are vague at best - the brain does this to somewhat protect us
RaspberryJammm@reddit
When I was age about 17 I suddenly realised I couldn't remember anything about my childhood before maybe age 13-14ish and then it all came back in my early 20s, hitting me with full force.
Snout_Fever@reddit
Yup, it was trauma related for me too. Could never remember anything at all about a big chunk of my childhood, and it all came back to me completely at random while just sat watching TV minding my own business in my late 40s which was (and still is to some extent!) a bit of a crazy time to put it quite mildly.
PastafarianFSM@reddit
Same. In my 40s now and working on trying to reveal what I missed between 0 and 10 years.
CrazyPlatypusLady@reddit
I hope you have psychological support on hand. Unlocking can be a wild mental ride.
popsy13@reddit (OP)
Im thinking its the same with me, I’ve seen proof in writing or a photograph, and that’s the only reason I can accept I was there, it doesn’t trigger the memory of it happening though
buy_me_a_pint@reddit
I try to block out loads of things mainly from school etc
Lyrakish@reddit
Yes, because I grew up in a stressful and abusive household right until I left home. Trauma skews your memory capacity. I can't remember big swathes of my childhood
Actual_Banana_1083@reddit
I have large gaps of all sorts of periods of my life. No autism, ADHD, trauma or substance abuse.
annedroiid@reddit
As well as all of the awful reasons other people have put down it's also quite common for people with ADHD to not remember much of their childhoods.
RaspberryJammm@reddit
Thats interesting. I have adhd and probably am autistic too. Always had poor memory of my childhood but presumed it was trauma related.
PullAndTwist@reddit
Was going to post this myself so I'll just upvote your comment instead!
KirasStar@reddit
As people have said, this is often trauma related, however, it is also common with autistic adults, if that is relevant to you.
MaxieMatsubusa@reddit
Do you think this is related to trauma just from autism and being so exhausted or is this seen in autistic adults who were supported a lot? I only mention because I have autism and childhood trauma so it’s hard to disentangle the two.
miffyonabike@reddit
I have ADHD and I think there's a theory that brains can either be great at pattern recognition or at encoding and storing memories, but not both at the same time.
So there are reasons other than trauma why people might not be able to remember events.
KirasStar@reddit
I reckon this is a huge aspect of it! I think autism is related in its own right as well though, as it is something they specifically brought up at my assessment.
Dry-Air-6915@reddit
Trauma of being undiagnosed for so long and having to grow up and live live with an abusive narcissistic bipolar parent with no support
princessicat@reddit
You might want to look up SDAM r/SDAM
No_Candle2537@reddit
Yep. I barely remember any of the first few years of my kids life.. feel terrible about it, but I was being abused pretty horrifically, so I can forgive myself to an extent.
smurfthesmurfup@reddit
I don't remember much from when my kids were newborns, sleep deprivation messes up memory formation
lalajia@reddit
oh god yeah. luckily I was a FB addict and posted snippets or photos most days, so I now look back on the "on this day in.." posts with a WTF, I have no recollection of this at all!
MoonShineWashingLine@reddit
This makes me really sad as my youngest didn't sleep well until she was 7. I've lost so many memories. But I've also just found out I have a condition called pernicious anaemia, which means I can't absorb B12, which is also crucial for memory formation and recall.
kool_kats_rule@reddit
I was going to mention B12 deficiency - that's another reason for missing memories.
MoonShineWashingLine@reddit
Yep, you don't to have pernicious anaemia to have B12 deficiency either. There's lots of reasons it can occur.
St2Crank@reddit
There’s also the possibly your PE teacher wrote you a cut and paste school report.
Alternative-Emu9189@reddit
I'm missing the best part of a couple of years of my life when I was a teenager with really bad depression.
Dry-Air-6915@reddit
Wish i could block out my abusive bipolar mother. Only good memories i have are of my father
Wish id never been born tbh
aBitConfused_NWO@reddit
Perhaps you are an aphant (someone with Aphantasia) and have the commonly related condition SDAM (Severly Deficient Autobiographical Memory)?
OkIncrease6030@reddit
I blocked out most of my primary school years. I was a little fat girl, getting bullied by classmates and my dad, who was also beat-with-belt kinda guy. My mom took my brother and me and left him when I was 11, and my life wasn’t perfect after that, but I have normal recall on everything post-divorce.
So yes, and it was trauma-based similar to a lot of other’s experiences. I grew up in the US but married a Brit and immigrated to the UK, so I hope it’s okay to answer this.
IansGotNothingLeft@reddit
Yes, my late teens, but that is due to trauma. I also don't have an awful lot of memory from actual childhood, but I know facts about it.
I don't think it's uncommon to have no recollection of certain facts about your childhood. But if you think you might be blocking out literal years, then it might be worth getting therapy.
Historical_Project86@reddit
My memory is sketchy AF, I think it's possible to forget quite a bit of one's childhood. I probably only remember most of the major points because I've been reminded of them since they happened.
hhfugrr3@reddit
Pretty normal not to remember lots of childhood. You did an afterschool club for maybe an hour once a week for a couple of months back when you were 11. I'm not that surprised it's not a big childhood memory.
Enough-Ad3818@reddit
I've a few years missing from between the ages of 12-16.
However, in contract to a lot of the commenter here, I don't think my issue is emotional trauma.
I played ice hockey for quite a while, and at one stage suffered 3 pretty heavy concussions in the same year. Once recovered, I recall struggling to remember some of my early teenage memories, and I dont think they ever came back.
I don't think I've lost anything important, but it is weird to think I can't recall anything from 12-16, because I took some impacts to the head at the age of 23.
pixelunicorns@reddit
Yes, my family lived in an area for 3 years and I always thought we only lived there for 1 year. So when sharing all the places I've lived as has been wrong, my mum only corrected me a couple of years ago. After talking about it more with my parents and therapist, I realised I have blocked out a very traumatic period for my youngself which my therapist has told me is completely normal. I still only have fragments of memories, but it seems that a lot of my childhood nightmares stem from there.
Jerico_Hill@reddit
Apparently trauma can sometimes do the opposite and you tend to remember a lot which is where I sit. Not every thing but I remember school very well.
RRW2020@reddit
When years of your life are missing, it’s often a sign of trauma. Your brain will literally forget parts of life to protect you from the effects of what happened. Also, some people just have really bad memories! ☺️
random_username_96@reddit
I can barely remember any of my life up to my teen years - I could give you facts (we lived opposite the school, this is who my teacher was, this is what the classroom looked like) but I couldn't for the life of me connect to my younger self or really know what her day to day thoughts and experiences were.
It's gotten a little better with therapy, and I also found a memory box last time I visited home which is helping to tease out stuff.
Loads of people default to poor memory being down to trauma, but I don't know if that applies to me. I mean, it theoretically could, and I have just completely blocked that trauma out, but I'm really not convinced.
I'm interested in other comments talking about how autism and ADHD can lead to a reduced/poor memory. Is there any clear explanation as to why? Neurodivergency is something I'm looking into at the moment.
Reasonable-Cat5767@reddit
Yep, I know facts about much of my childhood but the actual memories are non existent. If I didn't have those facts that I'd been told, it'd be one big empty wasteland...
SnooMacarons9618@reddit
I have an odd memory, I remember some thing very well, but a lot of my childhood is at best foggy. To be fair to me, I suffered a sever head trauma when I was *very* young, which I've always considered to be the reason. But honestly, I suspect this is fairly normal.
Think of *everything* you did yesterday. Try going through action by action. Can you even remember actually getting up, showering, having breakfast? Or do you just know you did those things? For me, I know I did those things, I know what I did at work, but I don't remember them, if that makes sense. And that is just yesterday, as you go back further it seems normal that you would remember less but know you did some things. I know where I went to nursery school, I remember some parts of it vividly (we had a nap time on camping style cot/beds - I remember those, I haven't the foggiest what else we'd have done). In Infant school one of my teachers was someone I know very well and still like (she's actually my brothers mother in law), but I couldn't remember a single interaction with her as a kid. At junior school I know one of my teachers was an older man, who was strict (the only time I've been caned), beyond his name and a vague recollection of what he looked like, I don't remember anything about him. My final teacher at junior school was a new teacher, a young lady - I was just about old enough to have a crush on her - I don't even know her name, but I know I liked her and wasn't really quite sure why I liked her so much :) Rinse and repeat throughout life.
Chemical-Cake4208@reddit
People remember far less than they think they do, and of what they do remember a lot of it is wrong. Which is why eyewitnesses are a terrible way of solving a crime. I have teen diaries, I can open a page and be baffled by most of it, the people, the events. This is a well researched area. You aren't unusual and it is unlikely to be trauma, most people forget loads.
samfitnessthrowaway@reddit
I have no recollection of teaching horse riding whatsoever. But apparently I did when I was like 16/17.
My mum recently found the certificates and paperwork that say I'm a fully qualified instructor. Literally NO memory of it. I remember the stables, but not ever teaching there. Bizarre.
I did semi-regularly (maybe once a month) get blackout drunk between 15 and my mid 20s, which I partly blame for now having an abysmal memory, but I've always been naturally forgetful.
gander8622@reddit
Yeah, I do struggle to remember things. My friends bring stuff up I have no recollection of.
No weed or any drugs, not a massive drinker either or trauma.
I think most of the last half of 2010s is but a blur. Raising kids, establishing careers etc I think does a number on you, well on me at least.
Optimal_Collection77@reddit
The 90s helped a lot. I'm 48 and can't tell at this point if I was funny and did it or made it up...I did have some great adventures either way
cubesnack@reddit
2020 is a blur... I remember only one thing - going to the shops (with the social distancing rules when they were counting how many people were in and out of the place) and bursting into tears in deserted Superdrug in front of empty shelves where soap used to be...
Slightly_underated@reddit
I have the same. I have almost no memory of my childhood up to about 16. I can vaguely remember some minor details but on the whole it's just not there. Photos tell me It exisited and my parents live in the same house so I do still have a strong connection with that time of my life but if my siblings say do you remember this or that I really don't. They could recall wallpaper type, specific accidents or funny things. I don't have those memories to recall. It's crazy, for a long time I thought it was normal, and for me it is. But I'm glad I'm not the only one out there.
Weird_Georgiana@reddit
My mother said she had no recollection before the age of 11. Her only memory as a child was her father coming home on leave from the Navy and he had a kitten in his pocket for her.
Left_Set_5916@reddit
I have a disability that effects my memory, so I do know I can't remember a lot of my childhood compared to what my phone can remember of her.
But I can't say I'd would have forgotten that. I remember being rubbish at football and cricket at school for instance(or most other sports).
Ill-Appointment6494@reddit
I can’t remember a lot of my childhood either. And I’ve no idea why.
Relative_Sea3386@reddit
I cant recall either - not trauma.
Maybe a sign of normal upbringing and living in present rather rhan tinted memories in head?
Glad-Pomegranate6283@reddit
Yeah tbh I barely remember much of my childhood due to abuse/trauma. Since doing EMDR I remember more random snippets but not a ton
Fureniku@reddit
My therapist has recommended I try EMDR, how are you finding it?
KatVanWall@reddit
I don’t remember a lot, have no idea why, didn’t have childhood trauma as far as I know!
Sometimes I’m unsure how much is real memory and how much is just remembering anecdotes my mum told later as well :/
Fureniku@reddit
Yup, also trauma. Late last year uncovered a very traumatic memory I'd hidden away which was... fun to deal with. But also have a 3-4 year period in my mid 20s that is a general blur and all merges together, I'm aware they existed but I don't remember much of what happened and of the stuff that did I couldn't tell you what year it was.
Unable-Object-8469@reddit
Yes, but I had a bad car accident and I got amnesia after it. I eventually got my memories back, except for the week before the accident, the accident itself, and the day after. I don’t remember any of that.
Did you had a traumatic experience? Maybe that’s why you can’t remember that part of your life
Aware-Turnover6088@reddit
Yeah, there's all kinds of things I don't remember. The funniest one I discovered recently was when I was telling my friend that one of the few bands I regret not seeing when I was younger was System of a down. My friend told me that I did go and see them with him! I have absolutely no recollection of it! I was smoking a lot of green then though. I'm sure they were great, and I had a great time, but there's not a trace of it in my memory!
YchYFi@reddit
You can see them again. They still tour.
YchYFi@reddit
I am the same. I don't remember holidays from when I was a teenager and child much.
It's quite common to not remember chunks of childhood.
DrMoneybeard@reddit
I have trouble with memories during major depressive episodes. This includes a lot of my time in university.
Defiant-Tackle-0728@reddit
There are periods I dont remember.
Mostly trauma, i spent my teens in and out of care in a home. There a chunks of that time thats fuzzy.
Then there is the period post 7/7. Much of the first 3 months I dont remember and the following 3-6 months is hazy.
There are other parts of my life I wish i could forget
oscarx-ray@reddit
I'm not being facetious; how much alcohol do you drink and how much weed do you smoke?
popsy13@reddit (OP)
I don’t smoke weed, I did for a while between the age of 16-18 or so, but I’d already lost the memories before that. I went to therapy and they suggested my mum write me a memory book, she wrote down things I wouldn’t have a memory of anyway (like what it was like when I was born, things like that)
oscarx-ray@reddit
Concussions from sports and being beaten up, and alcohol abuse wiped a good chunk of my teenage memories. I barely dabbled in weed, but I know what it does, which is why I asked - I am not trying to be a douche, but those things can take out memories that others have of us. That was all.
popsy13@reddit (OP)
Oh! I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to come across as rude, I appreciate your input so thank you.
Do you struggle to remember an instance if someone reminds you of something you did years ago? Like it comes back as a complete blank?
oscarx-ray@reddit
You didn't at all. I was just making sure that my point was clear because I have been a silly sausage. There are days, weeks, people, and even "friends" I can't recall from the times when I was loopy for one reason or another.
popsy13@reddit (OP)
It’s a bloody strange thing isn’t it? It just got me today with my old school report, I have zero memory of playing badminton? Especially after school! So weird!
thank you for taking the time to reply, it’s appreciated
Demonthief27@reddit
And here I am at 31 having smoked weed since I was 15 (stopped a year ago) and I can remember very vividly a lot of my early years memories. Just random things like playing with a pink power ranger on a bookshelf in my room, or losing my digidex then finding it under my dad’s bed, brother playing resident evil 1 and Stan playing in the background all sorts
oscarx-ray@reddit
I've had some "sad brain" times, but they didn't mess with my memory. It was the alcohol abuse and unconsciousness that did it for me, but some of my homies got it from bad times or drugs - or both. It's not strange, it happens to a lot of us for a lot of reasons. The key is working out why, and making sure that you're in a safe mental place now to keep the rest going forward, y'know?
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