Firthy2002@reddit

Losing 3 close relatives, including a parent, within as many years.

yazshousefortea@reddit

Hugs. Thanks for sharing. The being shunted down the list of other people’s priorities is really hard and crushingly lonely.

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rickastleyisagod@reddit

I feel you. I’m asexual and moving into my mid 30s. Even my ‘late bloomer’ friends have mostly settled down now, and of course I’m happy for them and understand that their partners/children need to come first, but it fucking hurts not being a priority anymore. Friends are all I have.

I mourn the loss of the life my son could have had if he didn’t have special needs, sounds silly when now I written it but I had dreams for him he’ll never accomplish. He’ll never leave home or have a job he really likes, have fiends or go out on weekends, drive or solo travel. Silly things but things other young people look forward too.

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LubyJ83@reddit

This is perfectly written and exactly how it feel. I had to have counselling to come to terms with this and grieve the life I imagined for my twins. Both have special needs, neither will ever live independently. It still makes me sad but they are happy and (relatively) healthy. We just live a different life now and thats ok.

I do feel that parents/carers of children with special needs are so isolated. Nobody understands. Friends and family expect you to do what their kids are doing and its just not going to happen!

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leah_amelia@reddit

Being transgender. It's incredibly difficult and liberating at the same time. Realising you're not the gender you were assigned at birth both brings a sense of relief and a sense of profound loss at a childhood and a life you will never get to have.

Knowing your existence is hated by a good chunk of people and they have the ear of the government which makes the laws about your right to exist in public. Knowing people who ended their lives because of the wait times for treatment. Being demonised in the press for wanting to go for a swim or a run in the park. Constantly worrying about being harassed at the gym or in public. I worry about being mistreated by authorities or public services, even though I haven't done anything wrong. It's been 10 years since I started transitioning and it does get easier, but it never fully goes away.

Here's a really specific one - Finding shoes that fit, which don't look shit, because you were forced to go through a puberty you didn't want or like and having your body permanently altered because of that.

If I'd have known at the time puberty blockers existed, I would have jumped at the chance. Just to even have the language to describe how I felt and not be ashamed of it would have made all the difference. I was told as a child not to even think about queer people, let alone trans people unless it was to laugh at them. Little wonder I ended up with substance abuse issues in my teens and early 20s. Most trans people I know have had substance issues because of those things. Most have self-harmed or tried to end their lives.

For me personally, (and I know this isn't the case for all trans people) knowing I will never be able to carry a child really hurts. Like on a soul level. I know cis women also sometimes can't carry a child too and that is an experience which I can empathise with, though the reasoning why is different, of course.

Frankly, just posting this comment worries me because I know there's a good chance I'll catch hate from people online simply for speaking my truth and saying how I feel.

I don't want to hurt anyone. I am a deeply committed pacifist, but the papers would have you believe I'm one comment or misgendering away from harming every single woman around me. We are not a violent community - we just want to exist with the same rights as everyone else and lead quiet lives. I don't want my gender identity to be the most interesting thing about me. In fact, it's actually one of the most boring things about me. I'd much rather talk about The Elder Scrolls lore.

The service was life saving. If I'd even left it one more week, he would either have been arrested or ended his life.

Solid_Western_138@reddit

I was restrained when I first went into the psychiatric unit and all the stuff my then partner brought in for me was stolen whilst that was happening. 0/10 do not recommend.

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Fit_Afternoon4604@reddit

Having to cut a parent completely off, especially when they were previously a good parent.

The person who gave birth to me is only ever referred to as first name (at the rare times I talk about her) but it does sting that when I think back to my childhood, she really was a 'mum'. Nothing will undo the damage she did (and tried to get away with) though

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BigRimeCharlie@reddit

As someone who's cut their mum off too I feel ya. Took me far too long to do so too. I bet we both know that deep down there's nothing else we could do.

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SmallPinkHo1e@reddit

🫂 and people who had great parents cannot fathom that we have to cut them off to save ourselves. "But she's your MUM?!" Yes, and she was also many of our first bullies.

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WaltzFirm6336@reddit

When I cut my dad off in his 70s, one of my friend’s questioned if I couldn’t just hang in a few years for my ‘inheritance’? Yeah, if I’m cutting myself off from potentially upwards of 500k, you need to realise that’s how much I don’t want this man in my life anymore. Worth every penny.

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Pristine_Health_2076@reddit

Honestly I am really struggling with this. I recently went no contact with my mum after hanging in there for years because I am disabled with very little income and no other family or safety net. I’m extremely stressed about it.. but the thought of having to continue to grit my teeth through a relationship with her is misery.

My dad passed four months ago, I just had to go no contact with my mum about a month ago. It has been tough losing both parents at once 🫠

Surviving sexual abuse. I don’t know how to explain it, but having this crushing guilt and shame that you feel like you can’t share. I had a PTSD relapse earlier this year and it’s so hard to ‘admit’ it to people that you can’t get out of bed because your own brain is fighting against you.

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pxl8d@reddit

Been bed bound 8 years with severe and debilitating neuro pain. Not stopped for a second.

Ive also had maybe 12 or 13 near death experinces now, like minutes away level.

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melanie110@reddit

My childhood. SA as a child both my sister and I and my mum didn’t nothing to prevent it as he was our babysitter. The beatings, further abuse, being put into care and being dragged out when it suited her so I could babysit my younger sister so she could go out. The amount of new dads I had, which then lead me into a life of drugs and alcohol. Stealing cars etc. this was all before being 16. I left at 15 and never looked back.

I did try again with her but by then she was a raging alchi who ended up sleeping with my son’s dad 2 days after we broke up.

I am now happily married to the most amazing man, 2 grown kids and we’re doing well for ourselves.

People look at me like I’ve never had it hard but most wouldn’t believe me if I started. But that’s on them and none of their business my husband has really helped me put all this to bed 🛏️ very the past 18 years.

Her name is not mentioned and it’s better that way for me

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Embarrassed_Park2212@reddit

Hearing the words 'Your child has cancer' then helplessly watching while they get poisoned so they can be cured. Living, after, always under the threat of reoccurrence. So far, 10 years later, still in remission.

I know how fortunate I am, other parents are not so, and I don't take it lightly.

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Eskoala@reddit

Psychosis. Believing a bunch of really weird and horrible things for months and sometimes years after an episode is a complete headfuck. It will destroy relationships. It will make you never trust your own brain again. It will have you looking over your shoulder every time something reminds you of it. The trauma from being hospitalised will never go away.

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O_C_Demon@reddit

Surviving suicide attempts.

The guilt and shame are absolutely soul crushing.

I know I wasn't well at the time but the publics perception of an "easy way out" or being "selfish" are so far wide of the mark as to be ridiculous.

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louilou96@reddit

Every now and then getting a flashback to it out of no where.

I hope you're okay, I know I struggle with this massively

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O_C_Demon@reddit

Thank you 😊

Yeah being a 'typical' man in my 20s and 30s and now in my 40s I never really dealt with it properly so now I have CPTSD to deal with too.

Hope you're OK as well. It's awful

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SugarMedical5349@reddit

This might be a bad take, but the idea that it's 'selfish' is ridiculous, you're the one battling your own issues and struggles so shouldn't focus on others, it's completely personal. Alot of the time you feel that way it's because of others acting 'selfish', so shouldn't feel obligated to others.

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Talking to one of your closest friends about how he felt suicidal.

Sharing that sometimes you felt that way too.

Remembering the last time you spoke to him in person was the day he helped you keep going without knowing it.

Checking in between, thinking he was getting better.

Having the feeling on St Patricks day to call and not calling for whatever reason.

Finding out two weeks later that was when he did it.

I'm so sorry that happened. You explain it so strongly.

I'm an AFAB and I had a girl peer on peer CSA me as a kid. I know its not the same, but its one of those ones where its weird because she was a girl, and she was 14, so even though I was the same, its hard to talk on. At the time the perpetrator had to be 5 years older than you for it to count, which really messed me up.

Would you mind talking about the more unique aspects? Please feel 100% like you can say no here though, I just would be interested in holding space and hearing your perspective.

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undercovergloss@reddit

Healing from abuse. I left abuse during pregnancy and I’m 7 years out - yet I’ve never fully recovered.

Also, being forced to ‘coparent’ with your abuser’ and having the legal system and services (like social) enable your abuser and said abuse to continue - just because you have a child with them. It is the ultimate hell out here.

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Alwayslearnin41@reddit

Losing my religious belief after being raised in a high demand religion. It's a unique type of trauma, fear and grief.

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Having a debilitating illness which means I live my life in some amount of pain and although I appear fine, there’s a lot of things I can’t do because it will result in my body hurting. So people just think I’m boring and pop a lot of ibuprofen.

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ThickAd8749@reddit

Saving a friend from suicide...The strange feeling of having lost them forever, even though they're still here. The feeling that they're probably disappointed that you saved them. All of this just six weeks after losing your student to suicide.

The ripple effect is catastrophic.

If you're reading this, please stay.

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imtiramisu2025@reddit (OP)

Seeing the pain i caused after a suicide attempt was really hard but I am so glad it never worked and that I was taken to hospital in time. Even if not right now im sure your friend will be very grateful you saved them.

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ThickAd8749@reddit

Thank you. And I'm so glad you are here.

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marbmusiclove@reddit

and read this letter

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sugarsnapsea@reddit

Never really having a Mum.

Mine has a mental illness, it was called borderline personality disorder but I think its called something else now.

Unfortunately, with that condition and not being a very nice person - my childhood and teenage years were largely awful. As an adult we're very low contact, only due to my youngest sister. Once she's an adult then me and my mother are done.

I've found lots of people don't believe that a deadbeat Mum can exist, people often try to make excuses or tell me she really does love/care. There's not room in most discussions for me to say, well actually she was very verbally and physically abusive to me and my Dad.

It feels very lonely at times to not have a Mum who cares about you. Made worse when people question your experiences because an abusive Mum isn't possible to them. They say ''well she's your Mum, you only get one'. I've cut her off for a reason - so please just believe me.

I've gone through quite a lot, I think I'm just collecting traumas at this point. I've experienced abandonment from my parents, abuse, homelessness, poverty, bullying, having a hidden disability, injustice, control, having men taking advantage of me, suicide attempts. Despite it all it's turned me into an empathetic and non judgemental person. It's taught me though, that even when it feels like you're in hell, there's always some good in every situation even if it's just helping others in the future.

I find the most down to earth people are the ones that have gone through a lot and it's nothing to be ashamed of, even if people don't understand you.

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ssebarnes@reddit

This!

I didn't realise I'd been through a lot until I met my boyfriend. He asks me time and time again how I cope, and I settled with the fact that I got bored of feeling sad, angry - does ruminating on these emotions change the past? No.

I take every day as it comes, and I am very happy to be here. I have a roof over my head, access to food, and wonderful friends / boyfriend.

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Honest-Cover9513@reddit

I can can empathise with how you feel. A close friend of 40 years has asked me how I'm not completely mentally unwell, because shes seen what ive had to deal with over the years. I say to her that I didn't get through all that just to become an a***hole! And the hope that got me through everything was that life would eventually be good, and i was right! Best to you, friend

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Solid_Western_138@reddit

Having an episode of psychosis.

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JeevestheGinger@reddit

I feel really fortunate with this. I have a bunch of mental health issues, and epilepsy, but psychosis isn't part of my normal presentation. I had a bad reaction to a new anti-seizure med though and one of the side-effects was basically short (a few hours) back-to-back episodes of psychosis. I don't remember most of them but the bits I do were (in retrospect) hilarious (I gave birth to a family of hamsters that lived in my trouser leg and I squished them when I sat down 😂). I'd had musical hallucinations before (part of severe tinnitus) and you can often work out that what you're hearing isn't real from context (eg a full orchestra isn't actually playing when I'm walking down a country road) but this was full-on delusion and it was... mind-bending.

The reason I say I'm fortunate is because it got me to understand what it's like to be psychotic - but I didn't have paranoia. I think back to how distressed and lost I felt during my 'regular' psychosis and I honestly don't think I can think of anything scarier or more lonely than going through paranoid psychosis. It gave me a glimpse without experiencing the full horror. And it cleared right up as soon as I stopped the med.

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Glad-Pomegranate6283@reddit

Absolutely this. I experienced this from 14-20 bc camhs thought I was making it up. Doing pretty well now but I can’t really watch any intense horror films or stuff that seems creepy/off bc it makes me feel like I’m going into pro drome

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AutomaticInitiative@reddit

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TurbulentHamster3418@reddit

Yes you can have a lot of people there for you but they can’t get it so you still feel so lonely!

I don’t think I’ve processed much so scheduling in a small breakdown for later in the year 😜😂

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SpaceCatSociety@reddit

Username checks out. I am just trying to find some talking therapy. I am still in active treatment so nowhere near ready to process this, but also I am a year into it. It just never ends

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TurbulentHamster3418@reddit

I feel you, I was diagnosed in September, had chemo November-April, got surgery on Friday. I’m lucky I get good sick pay so planning on taking some time off later this year after radiotherapy.

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SpaceCatSociety@reddit

Definitely do! Many people say radiotherapy is nothing but I found the fatigue from it unbearable. It hit 2 weeks after I finished my 20 sessions, and it lasted about a month. The radiotherapy sessions themselves weren’t too bad but some days the wait was over 2h. That’s really dependent on where you’re treated though. I think we are unlucky where I am.

I definitely will use every last day of sick pay.

Being “consensually” molested from age 8 through 15 by someone I knew. Was obviously too young to know at all what was going on but it felt good and I was ok/“consentual” with it until the end when I was around 15 and started to realise it was wrong. It hit me pretty hard in my first year of uni when I realised I’m actually super fucked up and my drug/porn/alcohol abuse has stemmed from this. I was addicted to porn from maybe 9-10 years of age. I’m much better now but this will likely have repurcussioms that last my whole life. I tried to kill myself after a night out with flatmates and friends and was hit by a car about two years ago when I was going through extreme burnout during uni + work + this bullshit. I’m 23 M now and I’m doing much much better. My partner and my ex partner helped a lot. I have a good support system now and I know how to hopefully protect my future children from what I went through. I have also since been diagnosed with both ASD level 1 and ADHD which seem to have also caused some issues alongside this but now I know and can treat my symptoms!

Working_Bowl@reddit

Losing a best friend - not because they have died, because they have chosen to drift off. Lost my best friend of nearly 30 years this way and it hurt - for a long time, for years. I still don’t know why, I think they just decided to change their circle of friends (which they did a lot throughout their life, but I was always part of it, until I wasn’t). It was when they completely forgot my kid’s birthdays, not even a text. That’s where I drew the line and decided to let it be.

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CensorTheologiae@reddit

Chronic illness, of any kind.

Most people seem to be incapable of understanding that it is not just being acutely ill for longer, but a different beast altogether.

It's awkward if you become chronically ill at an early age because you realize that most people also become chronically ill if they live long enough, but there's no way you can get them to relate.

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Honest-Cover9513@reddit

I totally relate xx

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imtiramisu2025@reddit (OP)

I agree, I often get I hope you feel better soon. Like which part of chronic do they not get. Im only going to get worse and because im 33 and look well people cant understand how I can be ill.

Its the grief of the person you were, the life you wanted. The actual physical symptoms and the guilt of letting people down.

This is such a great point. These people are real humans with real lives and real stories. Many of them have been through so much just to get to somewhere safe. The fear mongering around immigrants really minimises and diminishes their struggles.

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mrsdontknowwhoiam@reddit

Being the starter point for genetic mutations.

I have a blood disorder that has no familial link and was caused by a mutated gene.

This led to my daughter having to be tested (thankfully negative) but any future females born from my blood line will have to be tested.

I’ve recently found out I have breast cancer too and due to already having mutated once and having zero family history of breast cancer they’ve taken bloods to check for genetic markers in that too as there’s a chance if I’ve done it once I can do it again.

It takes about 3 months for those to come back and if my freaky deaky body has managed to pull that one off too I don’t think I will be able to forgive myself even though it’s not something I can control.

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Midnight_weirdness@reddit

Being ignored for 12 years by doctors and becoming disabled because they refused to even check. Also because I was a jabbering mess and lost my ability to walk and at time talk due to pain I was cut off by parents and siblings for not being there for them when they had a bad day and receiving abusive messages because I didn't make them the attention they needed.

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KEW95@reddit

Having invisible disabilities and more than one, so people think you’re making it up/exaggerating, even healthcare professionals.

Having your life essentially stolen from you by childhood bullies screwing you up for decades to come because of the resulting trauma and mental illnesses, as well as the lost opportunities because you couldn’t stay in school with them, so no exams, graduation or uni. Being so far behind because you don’t have the education or job experience the vast majority of people have and feeling like you can’t break through because there’s always someone “normal” they can choose instead, while you struggle to get anywhere.

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Peter-Clarkey-Cat@reddit

Emotional abuse from a parent/carer..

When I was 16 I ran away from home (my dad and step mum) after years of emotional abuse; the best decision of my life and I even have a tattoo of the bus number that took me away from it!

My step-mum is an awful person and I was constantly bullied, belittled, threatened and even spied on; my dad too much of a coward to step in.

When I tell people they either assume it was physical or even sexual abuse. When I say it was 'just' emotional abuse they never seem to quite grasp it.

I've even heard someone say that maybe she was just being stern like some parents are and that maybe I didn't see that because I was a teenager. Which yeah I know that is sometimes a parenting approach but this was EVERY conversation, never any tenderness or care, she would actively look for things to use to bully and belittle me, I would catch her listenening outside my bedroom door and she would listen in on my phone calls (conveniently doing the 'washing up' by the house phone every time I spoke to my mum, friends or granddad). In hindsight I think she had her own mental health issues, but it was no excuse.

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DisMyLik18thAccount@reddit

Being married to a mentally abusive, clinical narcissist

Adjasent to this - Being someone who's extremely suseotable to coersion, i.e. 'A doormat'. I've Had a lot of things happened where you'd think, 'Why would you go along with that?' and the best way I think I can explain it is that my nervous system is wired to react as if there's a gun to my head whenever someone is angry at me. Hard to understand until you're in that moment, doing something you objectively don't want to, because of the sense of some perceived danger

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MathematicianSea563@reddit

Being SA’d whilst having a severe mental illness.

No one in the world prepares you for going your whole entire life not being believed, and screaming in frustration at not being believed.

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wachieuk@reddit

I believe you

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Chemical_Ad_1618@reddit

M.E/CFS/ long covid

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Glad-Pomegranate6283@reddit

ME sounds like such a tough illness, I have several friends with it. Some of them get private treatments like LDN but those who are severe and or under the nhs just get fobbed off. I have asthma from long covid and suspected PoTS, finally going private bc the nhs tell me I’m anxious when I know it’s not that. I’m probably going to cry when I’m diagnosed tbh bc the misunderstanding really weighs on you

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Chemical_Ad_1618@reddit

Yeah I was in a stressful job which affected my heath, I developed asthma but it was un-diagnosed for about 9 months. The next year I got the flu and developed ME/ CFS. I’m worried about Covid as my asthma medication is strong so I’m scared of developing COPD one type is resistant to asthma medication (too severe)

I’ve heard about LDN on Reddit and apparently hard to get hold off but a chemist/doctor in Glasgow is suppling people in England too.

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TheWarmestHugz@reddit

Yeah my psychologist said I had a “mild eating disorder” serious enough for it to be on my notes but not serious enough for me to get any support for it…

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Strong_Access_8179@reddit

I have ARFID, which is along those lines. Even before anyone was ever talking about ARFID, it was abundantly clear to me that there were certain foods I disliked but could eat if necessary/if I wanted to be polite, and certain other foods that would simply make me gag no matter how desperately I wanted to just eat like a normal person, so it had to be a mental illness of some kind.

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Mountain_Yellow_5891@reddit

I was speaking to colleague about this, how me and my friends were preyed upon by older guys. I used to laugh about it buts so sickening and traumatising

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HAZZ3R1@reddit

Nearly becomingly paralysed and leaving with knees that don't work properly but I'm 1leg lighter after they chopped it off.

Not only the amputation is a reason others won't under stand is that I used to be so sporty and to slow it down so much is a feeling most won't understand

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Woodall57@reddit

Foster care and a traumatic childhood full of neglect and instability. It impacts you in lots of ways no one else understands. For me it results in ruining friendships, feeling mis understood by people and being on your own or missing out on a lot of things everyone took for granted growing up or as an adult.

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EitherChannel4874@reddit

Long term chronic pain.

Most people know what pain feels like and many people know what it feels like to have pain for a month or two but none of that can prepare you for 24/7 365 pain.

It's like a parasite that feeds on all your hopes and dreams.

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Losing my brother to suicide 2 years ago. My only sibling. I've always been mentally unwell and deep down I think most people would've expected me to be the one to do it if it were on the cards for either of us... but for it to be him, The Adored One, my rock and my best friend, my cheeky little brother, it just made no sense. It still doesn't. Having your entire world view shatter beneath your feet with only the unending darkness below is a shock I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. To have your life so violently strangled and sundered into two; from that moment, you're forced to live a life in which they died whilst the ghost of the life you could've had floats alongside you. Please, please, love your cherished ones whilst you can, as much as you can.

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YouDontLookDead@reddit

Waking up to an explosion that destroys your home

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IamNATx@reddit

Disability in general is something people don't understand properly until they experience it personally... invisible disability is an amplified version. I think I experienced a lot of things from a young age that people wouldn't understand until later on in life generally (if at all), but invisible disability trumps anything IMO.

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Lola787SG@reddit

Being raped at age 13 by a boy from school, convincing yourself it’s your fault and keeping it a secret for years until I couldn’t anymore. The ‘friends’ I shared it to didn’t believe me. I ended up at the police station once my parents found out because of my suicide attempts and a police officer told me I was in fact raped.

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Trash_Panda_Leaves@reddit

Where to start? Seizures is the most recent answer, but I was also hit by a bus when I was 15- I was on a zebra crossing. I can't talk about my childhood without my co-workers getting distressed over tiny admissions so idrk where to draw the line.

Oh, I also had a 7cm and 16cm ovarian cysts in my body. Originally they were strongly saying the right one was cancer but in the end they found cancer in my stomach lining they said they didnt care about and the cysts themselves were benign!

AMA I guess? But yeah, I feel isolated from most people because the real me is too heavy for them.

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Alternative-Emu9189@reddit

Although they exist, I know a number of people with IBS but none of them have chronic pain from it like I do. Rather than being a shared experience it tends to result in people just being dismissive.

It's challenging for a number of reasons, but primarily that it's 4 or 5 different sets of pain that vary. The two most common ones feel like I've drank bleach and the other one feels like there is a red hot garden fork scraping the inside of my stomach.

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bubbles_blower_@reddit

Loosing my mom the day before my birthday was a lot to cope with. And then living and trying to do life without her advice.

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Scottishspyro@reddit

I was groomed as a teenager, impregnated, and due to my own mental instability at the time he's raised by my mother. Extremely uncommon now, but if you look back a generation or two unfortunately every family has at least one member of the family who is someone else's child.

Rotating 24/7/365 shift work. Really fucks your body and mind.

Being first in scene to death and injury, the accidental death, the murder, the suicide. Trying to comfort the woman who after 60 years of marriage woke up next to her now dead husband. The really nice bloke who at 27 we’d all thought had beat his cancer.

The moral injury of trying to provide good care to increasing patients, while numbers of staff decline.

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RedonculousCherry@reddit

I'm a carer for my partner who has seizures. Adjusting to being a carer was hard, friends and other things slowly slip away, becoming invisible - and all the judgement about him, the ableism and discrimination. Totally relate to the spark part too, especially when I'm the one who has to order incontinence pads etc. If you know you know 🥴

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imtiramisu2025@reddit (OP)

I can't begin to imagine the weight of what you're carrying. Im really sorry you are going through this

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AltoCumulus15@reddit

Being a witness to a fatal accident where the victim was someone you knew well, and trying to revive them but not succeeding.

Still have nightmares.

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wardyms@reddit

Performing CPR on a family member and it not having a positive outcome.

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WairyFings4@reddit

Then having to pick your life back up again and carry on, with people often telling you how lucky you are to still be here. Yes, I know I'm lucky but I live in constant fear of the cancer returning and killing me - sometimes it's just all a bit too much. But it feels like people expect you to be so happy and grateful all the time.

I'm the child of a Schizophrenic. She has been in hospital or care homes for a total of half her life Haven't met anyone to properly talk to that has similar experiences. Have had the odd chat with people who think they've had similar experiences but I tend to find they or a relative had a big clinical depressive episode/suicide attempt but thats not the same level of messed up.

You're all obviously out there but I suspect we aren't that common. Being raised by someone with extremely severe mental health issues is prone to f@@kijg you up and I suspect we self select ourselves out of the gene pool.

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InkedDoll1@reddit

Having my leg lengthened, probably. Not many people even knew the surgery existed at the time, let alone how it was done. I haven't met anyone in the wild who's had it done, although i know Rivers Cuomo of Weezer has!

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CosyColouringBooks@reddit

Grief after my mam died, it'll be 13 years later this year and I still find life really hard without her. I also went no contact with my dad the same year she died because he made my childhood absolutely shite and refused to take any accountability when I tried to talk to him about it when I grew up.

Finally, when I had my beautiful daughter. She's 9 later this year and we went through IVF to have her so I automatically thought because she was so planned and so wanted that motherhood would come so easily. It didn't, and I had horrific post natal depression. That combined with the very very dark intrusive thoughts and crippling guilt was probably the hardest period of my life, all without my mam to support me which I found really really hard.

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Stonecoloured@reddit

18 months of cancer treatment. 4 different types of chemo, immunotherapy, surgery, radiotherapy & a 6 month trial.

The surgeon say he'd got it all & had clean margins! Having to tell everyone I actually wasn't in the clear, the pathology report showed active cells, despite treatment... Telling my family I'll be doing 6 more months of treatment.

I hope the majority of people never experience cancer treatment.

But also - speak about it! Break the taboo!

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SpaceCatSociety@reddit

I hear you, very similar story. Been in active treatment a year, another 6 months of chemo and then more surgery. It never ends.

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KaijuicyWizard@reddit

My cousin died by suicide the night of my wedding. Had been at the party having an absolute ball, being the life and soul as ever. He was so happy for me.

I got a couple of hours the next morning to reminisce on the beautiful blur of the night before and then my husband got the phone call. It was an entirely shattering experience and eclipsed everything else in my life in a moment.

Mother in law passing away while we were on honeymoon in the US - Wife made the hardest decision ever to stay as her mum was so excited for us to go, and wanted us to stay - She went into the hospice the day after we landed

It’s the strangest memory to look back on, as we both had an absolutely amazing trip that we’ll never forget, but there are also entire parts of it that were consumed with grief.

My wife describes it as like living two lives all at once

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Jlaw118@reddit

Caring for my grandma with late stage Alzheimer’s and just wishing she’d pass away peacefully as she’s got no quality of life whatsoever anymore.

I know there’s a fair few people out there who have been through this and understand but a lot of people don’t understand the emotion and feelings behind it. Deep down we lost her years ago, we just didn’t know it.

Me and my partner have been caring for her over the last four years. She’s got no life whatsoever anymore. She’s literally an 80 year old toddler. She can’t speak or communicate properly, can’t use the toilet, can’t even tell if it’s night or day.

I’ve spent hours on multiple occasions having to physically fight her to get in the shower when she’s soiled herself. She’s had physical poo in her hands before now asking me what it is and refusing to wash her hands. She’s got up at 2am in the morning and wandered the house before now, trying to get out.

Honestly it’s the most cruel disease to ever exist and nobody understands it at all until you’re in that position of caring for somebody. I tell people often and all I get is “aww that’s awful. Is it her long term or short term memory that’s affected?” And look at me shocked when I tell them her memory of events isn’t affected whatsoever, it’s her speech, behaviour and understanding of things more than anything.

We’ve had to throw in the towel in recent weeks and she’s moving into a care home in the next few weeks

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imtiramisu2025@reddit (OP)

Bless ya, sounds awful. I saw my brother in law go though this with his mum who was only 64 and its heart breaking. Sounds like an odd thing to say but I was glad that although my mum died it was from cancer and fairly quick. Not in pain for long and was still her until then end. It would have been so much harder to lose her before actually losing her.

My grandma had a brain tumour and we lived with her and she would try to climb out the window and do some very odd things.

Sending lots of love

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Jlaw118@reddit

No it’s not odd sounding at all, my grandad had terminal cancer and it’s still awful, but he had so much more quality of life up until the last few days of his life. He received so much support from the hospital and district nurses which my grandma literally gets nothing and she’s a lot worse health wise than my grandad was

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damned-n-doomed@reddit

My nana has Alzheimer’s too. She’s only in the early stages but my god it’s hard. Everyone always says to just “go along with what they say when they’re confused” but my nana genuinely believes that:

- Her main carer is part of the mafia, he owns her, he’s taken her bank card and her bungalow, and he’s going to kill me and my dad soon

- There’s cameras all over her room recording her, and they’ve installed a camera underneath her skin

- (this is by far the worst one) every night 10 men come into her room and “have their way with her”

It breaks my heart, she’s such an intelligent person, spoke and taught 4 languages, knew all sorts of random facts and to see her like this is awful. I’m grieving the loss of her when she’s still alive, and I know it’s going to get so much worse.

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Jlaw118@reddit

We went through similar with her last year, though admittedly not to those extremes!

If somebody didn’t turn up to her day centre, she’d presume straight away they’d died. She overheard the day centre bus driver complaining about something and came to the conclusion he’d walked out and quit. There was a day me and my partner were a tad quiet more out of fatigue, she was convinced we’d fallen out and wouldn’t take “we haven’t,” for an answer. Honestly there was more and it was driving me batshit crazy 🤦🏻‍♂️

Sending love to you too, it’s awful!

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PamVanDam@reddit

I thought the death of my parents was it …. But it’s actually cancer and chemo

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ShinyHeadedCook@reddit

Amphetamine addiction. To not sleep for weeks and dive downwards into psychosis is an experience I lived through and survived. Made me strong but never again

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emmadilemma71@reddit

To be fair, I dont think anyone really understands until they experience any situation directly. People can sympathise and listen, but they dont see the background hardwork.

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Strong_Quiet_4569@reddit

They might get something different than the next person. E.g. Some people get bitter and angry, others actually mature and incorporate the experience more gracefully.

All down to a myriad of situational and personality factors.

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Lower_Canary5713@reddit

Having parents that care more about themself than they care about you.

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JP198364839@reddit

Quite a few things.

Being emotionally and physically abused by a partner and when telling people after the split them not believing you and still choosing to have her in their lives is a tough one.

Losing my dream job two days after buying a house for no reason other than the boss, who I’d met twice, was an arsehole was a tough thing to cope with too.

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