Do you think school bullying in Uk is not as bad as they represent it?

Posted by NoNectarine97@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 45 comments

I moved to the Uk back in 2010 from Eastern Europe and switching schools was such a relief considering how much I got bullied in my school in back in my home county . If you are neurodivergent and awkward, schools in Eastern Europe are hell.

For the first time in my life, I wasn’t scared to attend school. From my experience and this is coming from someone is only 174cm tall (so easy target ) bullying in Uk secondary schools does not go beyond the typical banter . Popular kids either ignore you or spread gossips, and the chavs who barely attend will just joke with you by yelling your name and if you call them out their excuses will be “omg it’s a joke “ . Either than that, physical bullying is lot less frequent in uk schools.

What’s your opinion?

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No-Television-9862@reddit

I came from a council estate in a very poor area, I got bullied quite a bit at school, I realised as an adult I probably only got bullied because the kids went home to crap lives and being able to bully me was probably the only time they had some sort of control in their lives

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leclercwitch@reddit

Mine was bad. Really bad. It was everyone, about everything, from being 5 years old to 16 years old. I was beat up, psychologically teased to the point where now, as an adult, I don’t believe im likeable or anyone will ever love me. I am 4’8” and have been since I was 12. I was fat, spotty, liked anime, and liked girls as well as boys. Try navigating that as a teenager when ask.fm is now a thing, your house is getting egged, your dad is accused of being a paedophile and I get pushed down the stairs at school but it’s ME that gets suspended.

Fuck off with school bullying isn’t that bad. I don’t think people actually like me and it’s all just a joke. I have rejection sensitive dysphoria and a genuine fear of losing my friends because I don’t want to be the 10 year old nobody wants to play with again.

I was bullied to the point of self harm and suicidal thoughts. I didn’t do well in my GCSEs because I didn’t want to be here anymore because of this fucking horrible awful kids.

What’s worse is none of them remember. I worked in a local pub and I see the kids I went to school with and none of them apologised. None of them. Actually, one did. To my sister; not me. Told her to tell me he was sorry. They’re all spineless fucking bellends and what they did to me was unforgivable and it ruined my life. It’s still ruining my life because of the after effects of thinking everyone hates you. For 11 years while your brain is forming, I learned I am unlikeable. I am now having to unlearn this and I’m 30 for gods sake. This post is really hurtful to the people who had it bad.

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racsssss@reddit

My experience was: if you were weird and quiet people left you alone/were even a bit friendly towards you(me), if you were weird and loud/tried to stick up for yourself, you attracted bullies. And yeah it tended to be more name calling, gossip, mocking etc than getting beaten up.

Physical stuff tended to be more fights between equals than bullying, like two of the chavy kids would get in some feud and start swinging at each other. This was late 2000s to mid 2010s.

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SamVimesBootTheory@reddit

Wish that'd worked for me, I was weird and quiet and it made me a massive target.

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NoNectarine97@reddit (OP)

You are absolutely right and this is another reason why I felt bad for this kid who was extroverted , but on the spectrum and always ended up saying out loud inappropriate things and others gave him a very hard time .

I on the other hand was very quiet and kept to myself , however I occasionally got the “do you ever talk “ and popular kids always commented when I said something, “omg you can talk”

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SamVimesBootTheory@reddit

So I was in school in the 90s and early 00s

I was bullied a lot but it was all verbal and being ostracised I was never physically bullied and I don't remember if anyone else at school ever was and I think at points I had thoughts like 'Sometimes I'd rather get beaten up as then I'd have proof' as I remember never really being able to get across how bad it was to anyone but my parents since there wasn't really any proof.

I also never understood the whole 'oh only girls pick on girls and only boys pick on boys' thing as I was picked on by both but the tactics would vary as well like girls tended to be more sneaky whilst boys would be more outright blatant about it.

I think though also the optics of bullying have changed, cyber bullying wasn't really a thing when I was in school but I think it was just starting to get noticed and so I would guess that's a large avenue for it now.

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breaded_skateboard@reddit

In my 30s now, but My first suicide attempt was in year 5 primary school as a direct result of bullying.

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Obvious-Water569@reddit

I think it's worse. The vast majority will go unreported, probably the worst of it.

Even in 2026 schools, local authorities and parents simply aren't equipped to negotiate the kind of bullying we see these days. A huge amount of it is online and hidden from everyone but the victim and the perpetrators.

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Immediate-Escalator@reddit

I think the only people who say that bullying isn’t a problem in schools are the senior leadership teams of the schools and the academy trusts.

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gimmematcha@reddit

Also Eastern European and neurodivergent. That’s your experience but it may not be others’. I have heard unfortunately of someone taking their life due to bullying here in the UK. Also it’s not fair and you sound a bit dismissive in your title - you have a point of reference, people born here don’t. It doesn’t mean their experience is less valid and that bullying here in its own form is not as impactful.

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Brilliant-Elk-1343@reddit

It's complicated. It's different to countries like the US. Here, it's more cyber bullying, and a lot of more "psychological" than necessarily physical. And it's definitely gotten worse. I left school before all of that social media shit made students worse.

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sockhead99@reddit

As a parent of two nuerodivergent and openly gay children, I can hand in heart say that bullying in UK schools is as bad (if not worse) than represented. Both my kids have experienced physical and psychological abuse almost daily for two years. Both kids had significant time away from school and had deep running mental health issues as a result. it was only when we highlighted a disparity between how the school had handled a case of racist abuse and bullying to how they had handled blanted homophobic bullying that they stepped up and dealt with the issues head on.

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miowiamagrapegod@reddit

bullying in Uk secondary schools does not go beyond the typical banter .

Erm. What?

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Bounty_drillah@reddit

According to teachers I know, it's more about cruel psychological bullying via social media. Along with the usual name calling and teasing.

When I was in school late-90s and 00s there was a lot more physical violence. Rampant homophobia, racism and the like.

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Competitive_Pen7192@reddit

Yeah homophobia and racism summed up my low attainment school in the 1990s in London.

We literally had black v white football in the playground because the ratios were fairly even... Lost count of how many times the p**I word was said.

So many people got labelled pf, fggt or just gay as a stock insult. Or the word gay was used as a negative for something bad happening.

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pjkm123987@reddit

proof and pool?

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Kvark33@reddit

I would say bullying itself now is way worse. Luckily I went to school in 00’s, the majority of bullying then was in person, physical and name calling. Being bullied I remember knowing that at the end of the school day, I could go home and the bullies weren’t there. Now with social media that fear and anxiousness must be there 24/7. Horrible.

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KerryKinkajou@reddit

In my hometown we recently had a 15 year old lad commit suicide because of bullying in school over social media. Involved the sharing of explicit sexual content, really awful stuff and it's believed that he actually killed himself whilst on video call as he was being egged on. I'm not saying I'd prefer the prejudice and the physical violence, but the ramifications of social media are horrific.

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smellyfeet25@reddit

Bullying can cause suicides. it is abuse

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Bounty_drillah@reddit

That's bleak.

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Key-Seaworthiness227@reddit

Agree. I got attacked at two different schools in the 90s. One - headbutted multiple times, the second time the person only got one punch/slap in before a teacher pulled them off. BUT the second one was because they had failed to jump me after school. And that school was in a posh area 💀 most of the bullying was typical exclusion from doing stuff, being picked last for teams etc. social media must make all of that sort of bullying worse.

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lilphoenixgirl95@reddit

My sister was punched sometime around 2010 and made to apologise to the girl who punched her (after years of verbal bullying) and left a huge bruise on her cheekbone.

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Key-Seaworthiness227@reddit

I was given litter duty (had to pick up litter for weeks at lunch time and couldn’t talk to people). Teachers at the one school were bullies themselves.

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Chester_b@reddit

Apologize for what?

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Timely_Egg_6827@reddit

Her face getting in the way if like teachers at my school in 80s. You target the one that is least likely to fight back.

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RockAndHardPlace81@reddit

I think it massively depends on what kind of school you went to. I went to a brand new school in a middle class area and bullying was thankfully only verbal, can't remember anything serious. However, my friend lived in a dump of a town (her words not mine) on a council estate an hour away that was fairly deprived. She was stabbed by another girl with a compass once and kicked a lot other days (secondary school) and her brother was dragged off the toilet and badly beaten (primary school). Both scenarios the teachers did nothing so they were taken out of school and homeschooled.

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PKblaze@reddit

We're going back a couple of decades, but it sucked here.

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Wishmaster891@reddit

OP is average height, hows that an easy target?

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RegularSlimPro@reddit

It could be quite bad back in the 80s / 90s but sounds like it has got better. Or perhaps changed and just gone online.

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Proud_Ad_8915@reddit

When mine were in a mainstream school they got bullied daily. The school did nothing. I took them out. Bullying, in my experience, has always been rife in schools and not stopped.

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imtiramisu2025@reddit

I think the impact of the psychological element social media brings into it should not be underestimated. There is no escape where as in the past they couldn't impact you at home.

I grew up with physical abuse and have also experienced emotional abuse from a partner. The emotional for me was much worse. Might not be the same for everyone though.

I also went to school in another European country for my part of my childhood and the other thing thats different is that if id gotten bullied my teacher had the right to smack that child or the father would have. In England you can't do shit. No consequences at all

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WastelandOfConfusion@reddit

I used to have it all the time, and then one day I started fighting back, and every time anyone did anything, the response was immediate. I ended up enjoying it in the end with each time being the highlight of my day. It’s funny how they want to be friends with you afterwards.

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sanans@reddit

I imagine it's different in different schools and areas in the UK, but growing up in the North East as an undiagnosed autistic kid, in secondary school around 2014-ish. I regret the impact bullying has had on my ability to build relationships as an adult and how miserable I was in my childhood.

I see a lot of people saying it was mostly psychological in their experiences but so much of it was physical or even straight up sexual assault in my own experience.

I remember being benched (One kid bends behind your legs or puts their bag there while another pushes you over them.) and seatbelted (Yanking the handle at the top of your bag hard enough to drag you backwards or hurt your shoulders.) relentlessly.

Scrubbing (Grabbing snow or commonly chunks of ice and rubbing it in another's face), pushing others over on ice on purpose in the winter.

Other kids slamming their fingers in the area where your anus is. Punching you in the crotch.

The worst for me was the time a bigger kid pushed me over on the ice simply because he didn't like me and then proceeded to kick me in the back of the head over and over. He didn't get punished and I didn't get sent to a doctor or hospital for what easily could have been a concussion or worse.

It was abysmal and I wouldn't want another kid to go through what I went through. I have a lot going for me these days but I also feel stunted in so many ways as a result of all the fear and abuse I had during my school years.

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SmolKits@reddit

I have nothing to compare it to but I was bullied to the point of self harming and contemplating suicide so it was pretty bad for me (no the teachers didn't do shit)

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NoNectarine97@reddit (OP)

In form did bullying come?

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SmolKits@reddit

It was all verbal abuse both in person and online when social media started to properly take off. There were a few occasions when people threw things at me. It was always the lads so it was brushed off as "they just like you". Some of the girls did but they mostly didn't even really acknowledge me

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lilphoenixgirl95@reddit

I personally found school hell as a neurodivergent girl who was very slightly overweight (like, BMI of 26) during the 2000s when it was okay to fat shame women until they died of anorexia

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PreferencePleasant53@reddit

In my albeit limited experience, bullying is horrific and teachers/heads have no power to deal with real issues. They seem to side with whatever is easier for them, especially when it comes to dealing with kids of difficult parents.

We’ve dealt with bullying, cyber bullying, theft, creation of ai CP, heckling, social media bullying, following, physical attacks and it’s felt like it’s not been dealt with sufficiently.

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JustAnother_Brit@reddit

Depends on the school, my school had a huge wealth disparity with each class having at least 2 people in the top 1/0.5% and at least 2 in the bottom 15%. In the seven years I attended that school there were a few stabbings, several hospital visits and some pretty bad physical violence. Although most of those were money related and a few people who enjoyed hurting people. But most neurodivergent people stick with the other neurodivergent people so you’d be less of a target

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trippykitsy@reddit

Brits are very good at psychological bullying

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FornyHucker22@reddit

I can only speak for a good while ago but it was fine, sure there were names and incidents but nothing major. guess it depends on the kid on what they can deal with and what they have grown accustom too. kids can be mean that’s just nature but it’s a lot more than that.

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