ULPT request last ditch effort to get squirrels out of my bird feed?

Posted by singular_boba_pearl@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 101 comments

Okay so I've tried the normal things like banging on the window but they've slowly stopped getting scared by it and will come back very fast. I understand that they need to eat too but they're fucking gluttons. They will climb onto the feeder and shake it if the seeds they like aren't on the ground.

And yes, before you ask I have spent 20 minutes watching the squirrels with hatred on several occasions. I also scatter seed along the ground for the birds that prefer scavenging (some birds prefer the feeder and some prefer eating seed off the ground.)

I live in Texas if the legality plays a role. Is there like a sound I can play on a speaker that won't scare off the birds but will scare them off? I would use the spicy bird seed but I hate the smell with a passion and I have to keep the bird seed in my room.

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wheresjim@reddit

My brother and I, both engineers with many patents between us, used to really enjoy trying different ways to prevent the squirrels from using the bird feeder at my parent’s house. Our conclusion after several different methods being applied is that squirrels are amazing hackers. There is nothing you can do to keep them away from the bird food

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PotatoWasteLand@reddit

Shotgun

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culprit007@reddit

My mom just feeds them separately. 🤷🏼‍♀️🤣 Squirrels come right up to her for a peanut. Heck, some of the birds do, too, now.

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metalflygon08@reddit

Spicy food!

Birds don't even register it, the Squirrels will.

I scatter ghost pepper flakes in my tomato garden to keep the squirrels out (leftover from a chili contest last year).

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_muck_@reddit

I'm pretty sure everything my husband does to get rid of the squirrels just makes them smarter and stronger.

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singular_boba_pearl@reddit (OP)

That's what's been happening to me, they've stopped getting scared by anything lol. They're getting more and more audacious by the day

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schwelvis@reddit

I suggest you watch Mark Rober's video about squirrels and follow his lead.

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jkp56@reddit

Sprinkle cayenne pepper in the bird feed, it does not bother the birds. But it bothers the squirrels!

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cascasrevolution@reddit

perfect! it wont stink up op's room cause it lives in the spice cabinet!

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seeingeyefrog@reddit

Add hot peppers to the bird seed. Birds cannot taste it but the squirrels do not like it.

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Different-While8090@reddit

Walmart used to sell great big bags of seed with added hot peppers. They may still and it was dirt cheap.

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Good-Froyo-5021@reddit

I did this and it stopped the squirrels but the birds stopped visiting too. Someone mentioned to me that even though the birds can’t taste the spice, it might give them indigestion? Not sure if that’s true or not.

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bluecheetos@reddit

Still an eye irritant.

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Good-Froyo-5021@reddit

Good to know! I dumped the spicy seeds the other day and sigh the squirrels are back

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inaghoulina@reddit

I did this and my squirrels and chipmunks did not care (I have a video feeder I can watch them munch away)

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bluecheetos@reddit

They prefer Flaming Hot sunflower seeds.

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BruceSharkbait@reddit

I ordered powdered Carolina reaper off Amazon and sprinkle it over the birdseed

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41VirginsfromAllah@reddit

Or just order powdered capsaicin, it’s the chemical in peppers that makes them hot. Apparently it doesn’t bother birds.

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RudeOrSarcasticPt2@reddit

Birds have no taste buds for heat. They cannot taste capsaicin, and squirrels can smell it a long ways off. That is why it is nearly impossible to poison them, as well as unethical and bad for downstream wildlife.

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ComfortablyMild@reddit

Lube is ethical. Unethical, electric fence. You can buy tiny ones.

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wyglif_@reddit

Hang a Slinky on the post the bird feeder is on.

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mountaineer04@reddit

That will work the first 3 attempts.

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aboxofkittens@reddit

If you do one mini and one regular slinky (so there are two layers of slinky) it works for a lot longer.

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bluecheetos@reddit

So six attempts

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wvce84@reddit

I want to try this to see how the squirrels problem solve it

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MikeyRidesABikey@reddit

Mark Rober has an entire series of YouTube videos devoted to setting up complex mazes and problems that squirrels have to solve to get food.

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gajaybird@reddit

You willing to spend $100? Get a Yankee Flipper bird feeder. You will have to charge the battery. If you can watch the squirrel attempt to get feed, you will laugh out loud, truly. There are videos on YouTube if you want to see it in action.

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Hraefn_Wing@reddit

My mom had one when I was a kid and it was hilarious. One clever squirrel did learn to reach up, set it spinning, then eat the spilled seed but it was way less than when the squirrels could just sit there and feast.

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Keelback@reddit

These squirrels won't stop. Damn clever and persistent. Here is a couple of serious attempts.

One.

Two.

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Icy-Lingonberry6485@reddit

I know someone who uses a leaf blower every time the squirrels go on the feeder

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SCARLETHORI2ON@reddit

hanging or standing? baffles work great for standing, Yankee flipper or top domes for hanging.

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seancailleach@reddit

So glad someone mentioned the Yankee Flipper. My mom loved that video.

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SCARLETHORI2ON@reddit

my dad runs a bird feeder store and those videos used to crack me up as a kid on family work days. still love it

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seancailleach@reddit

Birdwatcher’s General Store had it on loop.

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FrannieP23@reddit

Putting a dome over my feeder did the job.

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mmedd@reddit

Get a dog

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singular_boba_pearl@reddit (OP)

I have one, he just lazyyy

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No_Educator_6376@reddit

Six pack of beer and a Pellet gun shooting them for the sport.

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RIPdon_sutton@reddit

OP said they live in Texas…

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anyname6789@reddit

So make sure it’s a six pack of Shiner Bock.

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fentsterTHEglob@reddit

[ Removed by Reddit ]

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No_Educator_6376@reddit

Ok thanks!

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YukariYakum0@reddit

So local craft instead of Budweiser? Okay.

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No_Educator_6376@reddit

Too bad

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slovbell@reddit

.22

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Junior_Ad_3301@reddit

I capped a couple of them on my burd feeder, but it's kinda pointless unless you exticntify the entire neighborhood. We are blessed to be in an area of mature hardwoods and 1 acre lots. New squirrels show up immediately to replace their fallen comrades

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bluedelvian@reddit

It doesn't sound like you've tried anything at all. Have you invested in some squirrel proof devices?

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singular_boba_pearl@reddit (OP)

Broke teenager tbh, if I could afford it, I'd just buy them peanuts to eat as well but it's really not in the budget ☹️

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CloudDancing108@reddit

Put vaseline on the stick/pole the feeder is hanging from. They’ll slowly slide down in defeat multiple times.

May have to reapply Vaseline every couple of days until they learn.

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bluedelvian@reddit

Contact your local/county extension office if in the US, they may be able to point you to free resources or communities. Four H used to be a great resource as well. You could attempt to make a device by watching YT videos.

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NikkeiReigns@reddit

Get really good with a slingshot. Squirrel gravy.

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Particular-Tax8106@reddit

If your feeder is on a metal pole, just grease the pole. They can’t climb it. Little shits slide right down, it’s hilarious.

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mrkstr@reddit

I'd just suck it up on the spicy bird seed. Get an airtight container to store it in? Ooo. Add spice AFTER you put it out. Sprinkle it with cayenne pepper.

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fishinspired@reddit

Clay pigeon trap launcher or skeet thrower. They run about $63 at wall mart. The angle of adjustment is 5-35 degrees and can propel an invader with pressure rather than electricity. Peanut butter applied to the surface area of a clay pigeon will allow ejecting the squirrel to a more desirable location.

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lisep1969@reddit

pole squirrel guard

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tedthedude@reddit

Those big wooden rat traps. They work very well on squirrels also. Use peanut butter for bait. Don’t ask me how I know.

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Historical-Remove401@reddit

I tried safflower seed, and they left it alone. It’s much more expensive than sunflower seed, though.

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KittyKattKate@reddit

Grease the pole, string, sides..everything.

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3X_Cat@reddit

Tame the squirrels and raise a squirrel army!

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Opposite-Shower1190@reddit

Throw unsalted peanuts on the ground for the squirrels.

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RikkiLostMyNumber@reddit

I'm not saying you should do this. My old gf's Dad wired up a birdfeeder with some speaker wire attached to a car battery to solve this problem. Turns out the birds won't land at all because they are sensitive to electromagnetic fields. The squirrels, on the other hand, kept getting knocked off the thing and would just head right back for more.

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f1ve-Star@reddit

Plant native plants to feed the birds. Trumpet vine for hummingbirds etc. it's better food for the birds, much more economical and all around better.

Then place piss disks in the feeder for the squirrels to find.

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aannoonnyymmoouuss99@reddit

This is the answer. Native plants to your area will bring birds and butterflies. Piss discs always the optimal choice.

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doubleshort@reddit

Put cayenne pepper in with the bird seed. Squirrels hate the heat and it has no effect on bitds

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Gamken@reddit

saw your post and thought of this

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MorgainofAvalon@reddit

That's one dizzy squirrel. 🦫💫

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allaboutmojitos@reddit

It’s not ULPT, but as soon as I bought seed without corn, they stopped bothering. Occasionally they’ll still come after one of my feeders, but I bought the kind that closes when they step on it so they move on

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EmployeeEmotional895@reddit

Pop them in the butt with a red rider. Fun to drink beers on a weekend in a lawn chair and take some target practice

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ozzy_thedog@reddit

lol move the bird feeder somewhere that the squirrels can’t access it. Also you are spreading bird seed around the ground. So…. Maybe don’t do that. The birds can figure it out on their own, you’re literally just feeding the squirrels and rats and mice by doing that. Spilled bird seed is probably the #1 attractant for rat activity at otherwise clean well kept homes.

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bluecheetos@reddit

Somewhere the squirrels can't access it? Like inside a bank vault? In my experience if squirrels can see it they'll figure out how to get to it.

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ozzy_thedog@reddit

Squirrel proof bird feeder pole. In the middle of the yard so they can’t jump to it. Plus a tray to catch the bird seed spillage. I’ve also got a feeder on a pole that closes when they climb on it, they learned to shake it so the seeds fall. Placed a Tray on the pole to catch the seeds, now they don’t bother.

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bluecheetos@reddit

The tree rats around my house would launch themselves from the top of a 100' pine tree in the neighbors yard repeatedly until one of them stuck the landing.

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PhantomCuttlefish@reddit

I feel your pain! Squirrels are gluttonous little shits. I tried everything from scaring them away whenever I saw them to using foul-smelling sprays to sticking sharp kebab sticks in the ground near the feeder.

What eventually worked for me was a two-part system. First, I got a squirrel-proof bird feeder. It's weighted so that it closes up whenever anything as heavy as a squirrel climbs on it. Unfortunately, it doesn't completely discourage them from trying anyway and scaring away the birds in the process.

So, second, I got an open feeder just for the squirrels. It's shaped like a little picnic table and is mounted closer to the ground. They've learned by now that this is "their" food. The squirrels still definitely hang around my other feeder, but mostly just to pick up anything that gets spilled on the ground. And the birds now sometimes pick at the "squirrel feeder," so I guess it's fair all around.

This is ULPT, so, uh... I guess include "fuck their dads to assert dominance" somewhere on the to-do list.

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Then_Bar8757@reddit

pb balls

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Hot_Pen7909@reddit

r/airgunhunting will have some ideas for you

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OkAdhesiveness5025@reddit

Here is a link to a design that I want to try myself. If you have a double Shepherd hook like I do, you would have to split the bag from bottom to top, wrap it around the pole, duct tape the cut you make from top to bottom so that the bag is whole again, and then zip tie and duct tape the bag in place on the pole. It would have to be high up enough on the pole so they could not jump above the bag. https://www.patheos.com/blogs/religionprof/2012/01/the-most-effective-squirrel-baffle-ever-and-it-came-free-with-your-birdseed.html

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bluecheetos@reddit

Plants convert fertile dirt into seeds.

Squirrels eat seeds and turn them into meat.

Man eats squirrel meat and turns it into fertilizer for soil.

The circle of life continues.

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parkersdadguy@reddit

Birds have been around for , conserably, a long time - you don't have to feed them. Your a squirrel feeder

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RudeOrSarcasticPt2@reddit

Bird feeding is not a year round endeavor. Winter feeding is actually bad for songbird genetics. Winter is how nature weeds out the weak, the sick, and the genetically inferior. Allowing the GI birds to breed weakens the entire species overall.

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singular_boba_pearl@reddit (OP)

Oh god... What have I become?

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Specialist-Bandido@reddit

Squirrel girl

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Kat_Smeow@reddit

Get one of those cute horse head squirrel feeders and enjoy!

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f1ve-Star@reddit

Or the Ferris wheel of corn.

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bluecheetos@reddit

There are hundreds of videos online showing exactly how to take care of this problem. Just google "squirrel catapult".

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Just_blorpo@reddit

We strung a wire cable that is maybe 12 feet in the air between a tree and the house and the bird feeder hangs from the middle of that cable. And its design allows us to slacken the cable and lower the bird feeder to load it with seed.

The cable has a fixed connection to the tree while the house fixture is a pulley wheel so that after the cable reaches the house and goes into the groove of the pulley wheel it turns downward toward the ground at a 90 degree angle. That end of the wire, near the ground and right up against the house, has a detachable concrete counterweight attached to it.

To slacken the cable and lower the birdhouse for seeding we take the counterweight off. To restore tension and make the wire taut again we put the counterweight back on the cable.

Both the end of the cable and the counter weight have a dog clips on them.. So detaching and reattaching the counterweight to the cable is done using those clips.

Since squirrels could of course still crawl along the taut 12 foot height cable, we put liter sized plastic soda bottles along the cable to create a blockade. (With the cable running right through the spout of the bottles.)

This has worked well for us.

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Best-Structure62@reddit

For Christ's sake this is ULPT. PISS DISKS!

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RudeOrSarcasticPt2@reddit

I have several ways to get rid of squirrels, but they are likely to get me downvoted to Hell. As I don't know the laws in TX, I cannot state them openly.

As for legal means, I can suggest that picking up some live catch traps is a good investment. Stale breakfast cereal rolled in peanut butter is a great rodent bait. If you choose to release them, at least 4 miles out is how you keep them from coming back.

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Artesso@reddit

Befriend the squirrels then ask if they can help you move some heavy furniture

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Apotak@reddit

You might enjoy the squirrel series of engineer Mark Rober. First part can be found on youtube

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TheOuterEdge@reddit

As others have said, squirrels are sensitive to capsaicin where birds are not. Spice is the answer! Give the squirrels some peanuts and they can eat too

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mrmrmrj@reddit

A squirrel proof birdfeeder is the first idea I had.

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FlipZer0@reddit

Easiest way? Feed the squirrels.

Make a low flat feeder, like an old bird bath, and fill it with unsalted peanuts and larger seeds like sunflower. Put it on the opposite side of your property and you should be good. A fed squirrel is an absent squirrel.

My grandfather had a slate rock retaining wall supporting the upper lawn from the lower driveway. The rocks were a whole chipmunk metropolis and they would empty bird feeders within an hour of putting out seed. Gramps took an old bird bath and put it at the corner of the property at the woodland, then hung grandma's bird feeder at the opposite diagonal corner and the feeder heists went way down.

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More_Bigger@reddit

Usually a nice sign like "SQUIRRELS PLEASE DON'T EAT THE BIRD FEED" works pretty good, unless these squirrels can't read, which of course makes them victims of circumstance, what with most wildlife literacy rates being what they are today.

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f1ve-Star@reddit

Damned gubernment!!

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zoppaTheDim@reddit

Relax learn to enjoy watching squirrels.

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beamerpook@reddit

I also agree with the spicy pepper. That seems to work for our squirrels.

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Renjenbee@reddit

Cayenne pepper. Birds can't taste spice, but squirrels can

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Laserdollarz@reddit

I put cat fur on my plants that I don't want squirrels to eat.

After that, piss disc

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