New Dallas job listing in my LinkedIn feed today - did a little tweaking as a public service
Posted by Tejanisima@reddit | Dallas | View on Reddit | 12 comments
Teddy forgot a couple of details in his newest posting in search of a staff assistant for the Dallas office, so in honor of my late father, a Republican who came back to Texas the year I was born to start a recruiting firm and walked into my office there in 2013 to ask, "Why does Ted Cruz have to be such an asshole?" after Ted's fake filibuster, I did Ted a solid by fine-tuning his ad to reflect what my experience as a constituent calling his office suggests really matters to him. Edits are in red, for obvious reasons.
(Original ad listing: https://www.linkedin.com/jobs/view/4413065156/ )
Tejanisima@reddit (OP)
Forgot to add that they should have a tolerance for hearing more curse words than they've ever heard in their life, primarily directed at their boss but probably also occasionally at them.
Darth_Molotok@reddit
I would take the job just so I can know what it feels like to shower multiple times in a row and never feel clean
ExtraMayo567@reddit
I met some guy from this office once at a chamber function and mean mugged him the whole time. Poor guy.
Traditional-Hall-591@reddit
What a hero!
Corgisarethebest123@reddit
Do you really think calling them does anything?
happyklam@reddit
I got an email response from his office this week that I found incredibly laughable. Primary context being: I cannot remember the last time I wrote because I was never getting responses but was likely from a few months ago. I also cannot decipher what this message was in regards to as I wrote several times about a myriad of topics and this email appears to address... Nothing?
"Dear H. Klam,
Thank you for contacting me with your views. Input from fellow Texans significantly informs my decision-making and empowers me to better represent our state.
As I represent Texas in the Senate, it is always helpful to hear from folks about what is on their minds. I believe that if someone from our great state is taking the time to write me then, more than likely, many more Texans have been thinking about the same issue, even if they have not written to share their thoughts. As such, by reaching out, you not only have shared your views but you have also represented the views of others which is a service to our community.
A lot of issues in Washington, D.C. are hotly contested and there are well-meaning groups on both sides. It is important in a representative democracy like ours that people have the ability to share their views passionately and respectfully with people, even with those who may hold opposing views. Thank you for joining the discussion in a way that reflects the best of our great country.
Thank you again for sharing your views with me. Please feel free to contact me in the future about any issue important to you or your family. It is an honor to serve you and the people of Texas.
For Liberty,
Ted Cruz United States Senator"
Tejanisima@reddit (OP)
Daaaaaayum, at least when Cornyn writes back to say he's going to ignore what you said and instead go with what he already promised his funders he'd do, he specifies the issue on which he's being a mealy-mouthed, spineless wuss.
happyklam@reddit
Cornyn used to at least give realistic human responses. I never aligned with his viewpoints but I could see where he was trying to represent his constituents in his mind. Now it's all just copy/paste MAGA talking points.
notadamnprincess@reddit
The lack of any substance given its length is truly stunning. Damn near majestic.
adam_ltt@reddit
“about serving a role” absolutely sent me because you just know the poster has been waiting years to make this joke
adam_ltt@reddit
politics aside this edit job is honestly pretty funny
Inhocooks@reddit
Got him