Living in Germany is draining me

Posted by Long_Relationship578@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 34 comments

This is more of a rant, but I need to get this off my chest. And this is not a "anti-Germany" post, I am just talking about my experience

I moved to Germany 4 years ago, on paper this place was supposed to be perfect, great working conditions, safe, good infrastructure, good economy.

Welp, now 4 years later I am still studying German twice a week (I started learning German during the pandemic) and whenever I mention this to other immigrants that live here for way longer, they tell me not to bother as I will never be able to get to the level I aspire to get.

Since I dont speak perfect German (B2), my work possibilities are limited and my salary is considerably less then what I should normally earn.

(I work in German, but I understand this is a major disadvantage for me. I never managed to find a single job in which I could work in English)

The infrastructure and walkability is amazing if you live in the city center, unfortunately I couldnt get an apartment in the nice part as it would require a extreamly high salary, so now I need to drive everyday as the train system is a joke (Autobahn is pretty cool tho)

Although I am now in a pretty good job, I had 2 severly abusive bosses back-to-back, and when I wanted to sue them, I found out that I cant even record them screaming as proof. (Germany has very strick data protection laws, and if I wanted to sue them, it would be a he said/she said situation)

All my doctor apointments where comically bad, to the point that I dont trust them at all.

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Commercial_Ebb_4372@reddit

GERMANY produces trump, hitler and auschwitz. What did u expect of the culture.

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18297gqpoi18@reddit

Why did you choose Germany? You should come to the US or London?

I’ve been to most European countries but not Germany. It has never been appealing to me let along working. Gosh no!

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bluedelvian@reddit

I'm kinda surprised the trains and buses available to you aren't sufficient.

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Calm-Comment-9255@reddit

Your post reads kind of aggressive and there is a sense of entitlement regarding what you deserve in terms of salary and living space etc.
If this is also the vibe you give in real life i think germany is not the right place for you. People here do not hesitate to give back the same energy, also in customer service situations.

I feel like the challenges you describe every immigrant faces in different countries, i personally think germany is more forgiving than many other countries. If the language is an issue maybe scandinavia or Netherlands would be a better fit.

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Apart_Flounder_6145@reddit

I'm curious in what ways you think Germany is more forgiving? Could you give an example?

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cshy85@reddit

Move to a more exciting country! I occasionally work in Germany and the place sucks the life out of me.

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ak4338@reddit

What is your degree that you weren't able to find work in English? That matters a lot. What city are you in that the transportation is so bad? That matters quite a bit too. I live in Hamburg and even on the outskirts I can get around early with public transport, though there are some neighborhoods that are not as well connected definitely.

No place is perfect, even on paper. I think you may have had a bit of a case of those colored glasses on coming here and realized that your expectations weren't quite accurate. You'll either have to adjust your expectations, change your circumstances, or go elsewhere. As for the language, it's a hard language, even my language teacher says that. It takes time but it is important for getting by here.

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Long_Relationship578@reddit (OP)

Outside of IT, who really manages to work in English? Some years ago, maybe, but I think this isnt the case anymore

My problem isnt with city transportation, its with DB. All RB get cancelled and delayed all the time.

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ak4338@reddit

I know many people working in the sciences who work in English.

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bruhbelacc@reddit

and whenever I mention this to other immigrants that live here for way longer, they tell me not to bother as I will never be able to get to the level I aspire to get.

A lot of people who are angry at themselves will tell you this to normalize the feeling that "It's not them, it's just the language".

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lissybeau@reddit

I would disagree as someone who lives in Germany. German is an extremely difficult language to learn.

When I started german classes my friends both German and international told me “life is too short to learn German”. So I’ve seen this as pervasive feeling at least in Berlin.

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bruhbelacc@reddit

If you speak English, then at least linguistically, it isn't in the category "difficult". Socially, every country can have unique issues - e.g., people being okay with English or not being supportive enough.

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Long_Relationship578@reddit (OP)

Yea... Although its hard not to feel like the fool that loses all their free time swimming against the current

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HVP2019@reddit

It always confuses me when people say “on paper things … perfect”

Matters of culture, language, familiarity and other well known negatives should had been considered together with walkability.

I never lived in Germany but even I am not surprised about negatives you mentioned. So why haven’t you added those negatives when you “ put on paper” negatives vs positives.

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Long_Relationship578@reddit (OP)

I didnt expect the transportation being as bad as it is, even when I read about it, its far worst.

I cannot predict how long it would take for me to learn a language, it took me 3 years to learn spanish to a higher level I have on German right now and with way less dedication.

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Sufficient-Job7098@reddit

I have been an immigrant in US for 25+ years.

I was born and raised in USSR. The world and my country have been changing non stop during the times I lived at home. The world, my home country, US continued to change after I moved to US.

I expect for changes to continue.

I grew up knowing that being an immigrant puts me at disadvantage, not knowing English puts me at disadvantage, being away from family and friends puts me at disadvantage. All of those very basic negatives were considered against positives.

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mavikat@reddit

What is the purpose of your post? To blame a person for not knowing outcomes in advance? If so, well done.

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Sufficient-Job7098@reddit

To warn others to take well known negatives as seriously as walkability.

As for OP to make sure to consider well known negatives when making future plans.

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palbuddy1234@reddit

Agreed as I'm in Switzerland and I'm supposed to be both rich and have plenty of accessible social services....i.e. free heath care, daycare yet low taxes.

I think Germany is great for Germans and Switzerland is great for the Swiss. As there are no integration problems, you have a great network and know where to find cheap stuff.

I suppose that's the fun of being an expat/immigrant. It's always easier being a local.

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TomBerlin100@reddit

You can't record them with a device but you can set up a notebook and write down all incidents, including what exactly happened, when, who was present, etc. This is a very strong evidence when it really comes to an internal or external confrontation regarding what you call "abusive bosses". Also, involve the workers council in such cases.

Regarding doctor appointments, also we Germans have bad experiences and it gets worse every year. Check "Jameda" where you see doctors ratings.

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Long_Relationship578@reddit (OP)

She would never scream at me in front of the other, was either in her office or in mine

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TomBerlin100@reddit

Does this happen during formal 1:1 meetings with her? Is there an office next to it and someone heard her screaming?

I highly recommend writing all the incidents down and talk to the workers council. This is exactly one of their fields to help.

Also, if this happens again, write an email to her summarizing the meeting you had and pointing out the difficult atmosphere and ask for a follow up to discuss future way of working together. Into this follow up meeting take someone from the workers council with you.

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Apart_Flounder_6145@reddit

How do they verify they the accuracy of the notebook? Is this considered a valid unbiased evidence?

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TomBerlin100@reddit

Yes, it is seen as a strong evidence. Additionally: Usually an awful boss is known company-wide as an awful boss. Which supports the case of OP. But, to be sure, always try to involve other parties, mainly the workers council which has a lot of power in most organized companies up to the point that they can make members of the management board leave the company.

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Apart_Flounder_6145@reddit

Thanks for the advice

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Ac1dRa1n09@reddit

I lived in Germany for nearly 7 years and can't relate to any of this... I think you need to focus on techniques to improve your German language skills and maybe move to a different area? I know plenty of expats (myself included) and refugees alike who focused on learning the language and were able to live and work in the language daily with no problems. I lived in Hessen, Rheinland-Pfalz, Mecklenberg-Vorpommern and Berlin and in all of those places I had no issues with public transport even in the most country of places (other than some of the more obvious problems with the German train system like delays and such etc) or finding good doctors etc..

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Gullible_Passion_331@reddit

What country are you from? That might have something to do with it.

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Long_Relationship578@reddit (OP)

This always reads as "maybe you are not civilized enough to adapt to our high standards", but I literally finished school and uni in Norway ?????

Why dont I get back to norway? I am need distance from my family. No, I will not live in other cities in Norway, tried, just too close still, no I will not live in Sweden, that place is a shithole, and I refuse to ever learn danish

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Gullible_Passion_331@reddit

Not really.

It's pretty sensible to suggest that someone from the Netherlands or Denmark might find living in Germany easier than someone from India or China.

Seeing as you're from Norway and want to speak English, perhaps try the UK?

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