ULPT Request: Deter People from Speeding?

Posted by girlaimee@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 47 comments

I live on a residential street that used to be a dead-end at the top of the hill. Well, they decided to make the street go all the way through and put in a bunch of new homes up there.

It used to be a quiet street, and now there’s a lot of traffic. 25mph road, but people go flying up and down the street way too fast.

What ideas have you? Those goofy little “child holding a flag” things isn’t something I want to do. I’m looking for something…creative.

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I read one idea about putting a realistic looking deer or some other animal by the road. The majority of drivers don't want to hit anything, much less risk getting blood and guts all over their nice car.

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This-Positive286@reddit

And they will NEVER catch on!

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Guilty_Objective4602@reddit

Just move it to a different location every day. They’ll never notice it’s fake.

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Ozmorty@reddit

Australian urban drivers are so confused by inflatable deer.

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Jonny-Propaganda@reddit

Park in the street. Narrower roads slow traffic.

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blindtoe54@reddit

park your neighbor's car on the street.

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blindtoe54@reddit

Aren't there pothole stickers? Lol. Or those flat speedbump stickers.

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Pleasant-Minute6066@reddit

Fake speed camera?

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prodgodq2@reddit

Second this......you can get these pretty cheap.

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girlaimee@reddit (OP)

I actually had this idea, but couldn’t find one that was affordable. Do you happen to have a link?

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prodgodq2@reddit

No specific link, just search Amazon or ebay for fake security cameras. You'll see all kinds. I would recommend getting the bigger ones so they're more visible. Some of them some with LED lights so they look very realistic.

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Munky1701@reddit

You aren’t the police… That’s their job. Keep your kids out of the street and just go on with life.

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New-Geezer@reddit

Why are you here?

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Specialist-Yam8579@reddit

Plan A. Chalk outline of a run over child or two. Cheap. Not likely to incite anyone’s ire. Doesn’t cause permanent damage. Washes away with the rain.

Plan B. In concert with the first idea.

Draw some very large very distinct hopscotch outlines in the street at several points in the road. This drives home the idea that kids in the neighborhood play in the street.

Plan C. Most municipalities have some of these portable speed measuring trailers. Bitch at your councilman or council person or Mayer or specificity the cities safety director until they park one on the tree lawn. Most people WILL slow down if they realize they are exceeding the posted speed in a residential area.

Plan D. Photo Radar device. Sell the city on the revenue angle.

Plan E. Somewhat risky. Stand on the tree lawn and videotape those truly traveling at excessive speeds. That might get confrontational if they stop to complain. But it’s a opening to have a pleasant chat about the fact it’s a residential area with children. Without getting irate or confrontational yourself.

If they ask how your measuring speed just say an App. If they claim they weren’t speeding but they hit the brakes you know they were. Just point that out.

I’m actually a professional driver with 3 millions miles. Understand that many peoples focus while going down your street is actively scanning the whole area for playing children and other hazards like cars backing out directly in front of you. That happens a lot.

They should of course be paying attention to the speedometer but that requires taking their attention the road for a second and then re focusing. That takes time and their attention away from the most important thing. Scanning for danger. It’s not abnormal for someone’s speed to creep up. Would you rather have them looking out for kids or staring at the dash. That’s essentially distracted driving.

If it’s downhill then physics means speeds gonna creep up. That’s normal and expected. Some slack is needed as long as they aren’t out of control or willfully ignoring the speed limit.

You’re really looking for the drivers that are completely ignoring the posted limit and driving with reckless abandon or some sense of entitlement.

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erisod@reddit

Sheet of plywood on the road

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New-Geezer@reddit

Or a bunch of bricks

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Icy_Mango6803@reddit

Record sounds of kids playing, kicking football, running, yelling.

Play loudly

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humdrum_spider@reddit

They make realistic foam toy bricks for kids. Epoxy them randomly on the road.

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birdhouse2015@reddit

This is the best one! Haha!

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StrikeSea7638@reddit

Talk to your city council for speed bumps

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girlaimee@reddit (OP)

Yeah, but that’s not unethical.

Plus, the city council is busy giving taxpayer money to billionaires to build apartments. No money to address actual problems.

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StrikeSea7638@reddit

I highly doubt your city council has access to billions of dollars.

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girlaimee@reddit (OP)

That’s the point. They’re giving taxpayer money to people who are already billionaires.

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TheGoochTaint@reddit

Building apartments is usually a very good thing. It will help house people and drive rents down.

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elite_meimei@reddit

Paint one of those pictures that look like a real 3D speedbump but it's just paint. Put objects like wood or barrels on alternating sides of the street so people have to weave back and forth.

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bigdave41@reddit

Have two guys stand either side of the street and mime as if they're holding a cable and pulling it tight across the road at windshield height

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Throwythrow360@reddit

I did this as a kid in the UK, once. Within a minute a guy pulled over to presumably call the police on us, we ran 😂

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TheGoochTaint@reddit

Only time I ever did this the first car slammed on his brakes and started chasing us while shouting bizarre stuff at us. Pretty sure he was drunk.

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TedW@reddit

The photo thing guiltier than two children dressed as construction workers, is two running children dressed as construction workers.

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litttlebats@reddit

Throw a piss disk at every car speeding by

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nosyHedgehog@reddit

Unmarked speed bump. Just don't let them catch you...

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nikdahl@reddit

Roadside trees

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meddit_rod@reddit

Discard a child's bike along the way. Add a nearby shoe for garnish.

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Jeullena@reddit

Make some pot holes. Make a lot of pot holes. Turn your road into swiss cheese.

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Freypaints@reddit

Series of 2x4’s across the street pylons down and painted neon orange for courtesy.

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jimmythefly@reddit

Large murals (chalk or paint) in the street slow down traffic, at least a little bit.

In some areas the intentionally put in brick/cobblestone sections which also have the effect of slowing traffic I've seen it most often at intersections) -you could try painting or stenciling on brick look paintwork too.

But really DIY speed bumps are probably the answer. You can also get a couple of junk cars and park them on opposite sides of the street really close together, most cars will slow down when passing between parked cars on a residential street.

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stabbingrabbit@reddit

Spray paint pot holes. Or get a 3D artist to do it.

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emax4@reddit

If there's a turn, use lots and lots of gravel.

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Quirky-Invite7664@reddit

Fake speed bump

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EagleBigMac@reddit

That's a real speed bump so also get the rebar spikes to nail it in and bring a sledge hammer, wear a hard hat and safety vest put up a cone and act like you belong install walk away and get picked up around the corner come back later to your home in different clothes.

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BoredCheese@reddit

Buy a few cheap kickballs and be outside when you know speeding is most likely to happen. Watch and listen for your culprits’ approach and roll a ball across the road in front of their car where they can see it. Most people’s first reaction is that a child will be following the ball so they’ll slam on the brakes. You can retrieve your ball and lecture them about killing your kids if you want.

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nayrwolf@reddit

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