Feeling out of sorts at work
Posted by Cold_Huckleberry_791@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 5 comments
I’m in my 6th month working in business development for a tech company. I’m in my late 50s and have a lot of experience in my chosen field, but the new company is tangentially related to my previous industry. I’m still learning some of the terms and technology jargon in the new space.
I feel out of sorts during many meetings. By this, I will speak up and some of the people will shoot down my ideas, or correct me. I do a good amount of listening and not talking. The company I work for is foreign and is based in a country where the people are nice but straightforward in telling you when you’re wrong.
My boss is a good guy, but a driver (he mentioned this recently to me) and he is super busy. I don’t want to confide with him either as it’s not his job to be a psychologist for me.
I shouldn’t be that concerned as this is my last stop in my career. But I am a bit bothered. I am grateful to have work as many aren’t as fortunate these days.
Maybe I am just venting, but it makes things a bit uncomfortable at work.
Anyone else deal with this? If so, how?
icy_sylph@reddit
6 months is not a long time in a new job, especially one that is 'tangentially related' to what you were doing before. Give yourself some grace. If you're still feeling the same way in another 8-10 months, maybe take stock again and see how things have or haven't changed and whether it feels like a good fit 'long' term.
It's tough to go from the well-respected expert to the know-nothing noob and it can feel like a hit to the ego, for sure. Especially if any part of your identity is/was wrapped up in your work persona (ask me how I know!).
If you can, embrace the Beginner's Mindset as best you can. Ask questions and take in info (which it sounds like you already are). If you offer an idea and it gets shot down, do you understand why? Is your understanding of the topic too superficial? Are there institutional knowledge reasons why whatever your suggestion is cannot be implemented/attempted?
From your own side, are you doing the 'at my old job we...' thing? (it's super easy to do). If you can rephrase to eliminate reference to your old company and ask as if from a genuine place of learning 'have we ever tried XYZ?' is a much different framing that can result in you finding out a bunch of relevant stuff and/or your idea getting more traction than it would've otherwise.
OldHead1776@reddit
Sometimes you get in with a company and it's just not a good fit. My previous company was like this. It was the third incarnation of a similar company started by some guys I've known for 20 years. I worked for the first incarnation, and although I was asked, passed on joining their second. Years later, I was burned out by my job, and a well timed phone call from one of them had me on board. Everything was different. The principals were taking kind of personal project roles, and the people in charge of engineering were complete asshats. I didn't get along with any of them. This despite the old principals still wanting me to go to lunch with them every day. Lots of head butting. Lots managers trying new things, "let's see how agile works for this", and no clue how to implement anything. I hated it, and was back into burnout mode. I made it a year, but then was gone.
Took a few weeks, but I a smaller firm where I have a direct impact on things, people listen to me, and I can get my hands dirty every day. No drowning in meetings. I'm perfectly happy to stay here.
Ray_The_Engineer@reddit
Oh yes, I get this. I changed careers, 13 years ago, from engineering to technology consulting for emergency management. An entirely new set of acronyms coming from the particular type of work we did, plus government terms, and I was basically the dumbest guy in every meeting for over a year. It was very much a "sink or swim" situation, and there were a variety of uncomfortable, and well, traumatic situations that I had to deal with.
Adding to that, I had a similar issue with people on my tech team. No one wanted my ideas (I'm the rookie). I'd give a suggestion, it would be shot down, and then a long discussion would ensue, where the team would talk it out...and half the time they'd come back around to an idea that sure sounded an awful lot like mine. I shut up, after a while. I'm an introvert, and don't always deal well with this kind of dynamic.
I stuck it out though, and it worked out in the end. I got pulled over to another company 9 years later, doing similar work, and suddenly I was treated as the authority instead of the village idiot. It's been rewarding, and I wouldn't change my decision all those years ago to make a change. Hang in there! It can be rough, but we're a tough generation and can push through it.
howaboutanothergame@reddit
Honestly, I’d stick it out - you are still early days, still in transition and adjusting to a new culture. BD can be an extra high pressure environment and I recon it can take 12 months to really understand a new job/industry.
Maybe get a coach every couple of months to talk things through - I’ve found that particularly useful - especially if your line manager is not ideal to talk to.
Hone things improve - reach out if you want to talk further.
dudeatwork77@reddit
“people are nice but straightforward in telling you when you’re wrong.”
I don’t see a problem here.
Deal with what?