Got a chill today
Posted by NaturalForty@reddit | GenX | View on Reddit | 55 comments
I was visiting a really nice nursing home. In the corner of a rec room, they had a arcade games. I felt the cold hand of death on my shoulder.
I'm a hospice chaplain, mortality doesn't get to me that easily. But damn...
LoetherS@reddit
Could be for the children / grandchildren of the residents. Ive seen mini basketball hoop arcade style games in a nursing home visiting my grandmother. My family had fun playing it but we didn't have any challenges from the residents...
StartKindly9881@reddit
I’d rather die than live in assisted living,
NaturalForty@reddit (OP)
Assisted living is not nursing care. It's a place where you get assistance, like laundry and cooking.
Fair-Wishbone-1190@reddit
But isn't it hugely expensive? I've heard so many things that I'm not a hundred percent sure on how much it cost, but somebody once told me that they take all of your money out of your accounts before you can even be admitted. Is that true?
shell_shocked_today@reddit
At the one my dad is in - and its a relatively nice one - the cost for a single apartment (bedroom, living room, kitchenette), meals provided, his laundry, and cleaning the apartment was on the neighbourhood of $3000 / month. Which in a high cost of living city isn't actually unreasonable.
Commies-Fan@reddit
Yeah thats unheard of. Theyre typically $7-10000 a month.
ConstantConfusion123@reddit
For assisted living? In my area you might pay that for high level nursing or memory care but not assisted living. Yikes.
Commies-Fan@reddit
Assisted living usually comes with a large upfront cost and then lower payments like a timeshare. OR extremely high monthly costs with no upfront payment.
shell_shocked_today@reddit
Don't forget - I'm likely in a different country than you - I have no idea what is a typical cost here.
Fair-Wishbone-1190@reddit
Yeah I get thats somewhat reasonable. Way more than I could afford but I don't live in a high cost of living area. Where I live you can get a nice one bedroom apartment for anywhere from $800 to $1,000. I couldn't imagine paying $3,000 a month to live somewhere. It's not that I wouldn't want to, I just can't financially do it.
UnicornFarts1111@reddit
You don't get assisted living without insurance. You are talking about a nursing home. They take everything you have to pay for your care and once you are out of money, you get moved to the poorest home available.
MidlifeManifesto@reddit
Honestly, it depends on where you live. Different states have different coverage for seniors. I moved both my parent to where I live because there was assisted living coverage through Medicaid. My dad has passed but my mom lives in an assisted living community near me and. . . it’s nice. Kind people, always clean. She complains all the time, not realizing she won the lottery.
Fair-Wishbone-1190@reddit
Oh ok. Thanks!
badasschurchlady@reddit
I’m on the hunt for a place for my mom right now. Hugely expensive is relative. As long as I prep her meds for her (which is doable) the cheapest place I’ve found is 3,100 a month (most have been in the 4-5 range) Includes food, activities, transportation, outings, once a week cleaning, and a studio apartment. It’s about 25 miles from a large metro area.
Some places do require a buy-in, many do not. The few buy-in places we looked at were about the same monthly (around 4) but, when you run out of money, they guarantee your care until death.
Ecstatic_Substance@reddit
You might Try A Place for mom. They are free and get a payment from the communities. They can help with the search.
badasschurchlady@reddit
Long story but no. They sell your info to only the communities who have an agreement with them. Also, unreasonably, I went to jr high and high school with one of the founders and didn’t like him. I don’t want him profiting from my data. But thank you. It’s definitely a great service for those who need and want it.
NaturalForty@reddit (OP)
In the US, Medicare (insurance for 65+) doesn't cover nursing home care. Medicaid (insurance for poor people) does. But to get Medicaid, you have to be poor. So a senior citizen with any significant assets will have to spend them on nursing care until they're gone, and can then get covered by Medicaid. However, Medicaid only pays a limited amount, and will not get you into a really fancy nursing home. You can get a place that will take care of you, but it will have the look of a nursing home.
cakevictim@reddit
My mother lived in assisted living and loved it. I hope it’s available and affordable when I need it but I’m not too optimistic anymore
ConstantConfusion123@reddit
Assisted living is pretty cool, at least the few I've seen. My dad's lived in two. The one he's in now, he has a nice big room with kitchenette, nice bathroom. It's quiet. They handle all the meals, laundry, trash and cleaning. They also provide medical care and medication assistance. You can even have a small pet.
Is it as great as living in your own house, no of course not. But for those who can't live on their own it's the next best thing.
He pays $3800 monthly. He's one of the lucky ones with a pension so that covers it. Now if he needs nursing or memory care the cost will double or triple.
powerhikeit@reddit
Where and how in the world does he pay $3800 for that? My mother is in a very LCOL state and only the shithole facilities are that “cheap”.
ConstantConfusion123@reddit
Also LCOL, Indiana to be precise. It is a state run facility so maybe it's bad compared to others, but it's clean, the care seems good and there's tons of activities. He's happy with it, anyway.
Handbag_Lady@reddit
Just for costs, my mom is in independent living and it is $4300 a month. Three meals a day, a single apartment with kitchenette, cleaning and laundry. They have TONS of activities but the cool thing is that they allow those who know and live there to teach whatever they can. My mom is really into crafts so she does the greeting card making class and the knitting and crochet class.
I imagine by the time our ages are there, they will adjust and we get whatever we'd like.
ResidentTurbulent647@reddit
At the antique mall this weekend and several vendors were selling skateboards. ‘Vintage’ skateboards. That was my oh shit officially old moment.
CK_CoffeeCat@reddit
There better be a regular paper-and-dice RPG going on in care homes by the time I get sent to one. If I live that long.
TheRPM3@reddit
What’ll it be, “Asleep on the Borderlands” or “Rec Room of Horrors”?
WeenyDancer@reddit
We'll start one up if not
CK_CoffeeCat@reddit
Heck yeah!! 😁
Moondra3x3-6@reddit
I donated my mother's unused medical supplies to a nearby Memory Care facility. As I was walking out, a patient looked at me and said You're an angel, your mother is proud. My conversations were strictly over the phone regarding the supplies. I smiled back at her and said thank you.
eastbaypluviophile@reddit
My MIL is on hospice and deteriorating rapidly. Today she woke from a doze and told my SIL she dreamed she was looking at a calendar with a big red circle around this Friday the 15th. We figure we have 3 days left with her.
Ecstatic_Substance@reddit
I worked in the Senior Living space, what it’s called now. It’s not what we think of. Yes there are still typical nursing homes which make me sad. And some bad places out there. But the space has been redefined.
I had no idea when Zi started working all the options, floor plans, etc.
You Have independent Living, Assisted Living and Memory Care. Some place have great programs where you can “age in place” and adjust the level as needed. What you pay really depends on what you need…more care equals more cost.
You have singles, doubles, quads, couples, 1,2,3 bedroom. I was amazed at the options available throughout the country.
There are activities, bars, restaurants, etc.
As for, when I get too old I’m having my kids take me to the train station.
catnapspirit@reddit
I mean.. that does sound kind of nice. Nothing to do all day but play arcade games for free? Hmm..
NaturalForty@reddit (OP)
Not for free...I'd guess the residents are paying $20k a month.
UnicornFarts1111@reddit
It depends on the facility. I think in my area they cost between $6k and $10k a month.
NaturalForty@reddit (OP)
That sounds right. This is the most bells-and-whistles place I've ever seen and I'm sure its cost is well above average.
sfdsquid@reddit
If it were free I'd move in tomorrow.
skip-spacegrass@reddit
On the bright side, we'll be the first generation to bring a gaming system to the nursing home. There's nothing but time there, I'll be happy to spend my final years showing kids what experience looks like on Call Of Duty.
Crystalinfire@reddit
A few years ago, I saw a wii that had been donated to a nursing home. So thats already happened.
runawai@reddit
By then, our hands will be all arthritic, but we’ll still beat the swipe and tap generations.
lunicorn@reddit
Did they have good music?
CapstickWentHome@reddit
If my kids stick me in a retirement home that doesn't have regular Doom tournaments, I'll be sorely disappointed.
Fannnybaws@reddit
Sounds like a dream scenario...I'll probably be in a tent.
itgoesineasy@reddit
Just shows you we aren’t kids in body but still are in spirit.
curious-thatguy@reddit
Don’t go to Sam’s Club, they got them there too.. you just gotta buy them ✌️
GooseberryPotato@reddit
👀 Just me maybe but I find this somewhat reassuring. I’ve had nightmares about being in a nursing home being forced to watch Gunsmoke and sing Bicycle Made for 2
NaturalForty@reddit (OP)
No, I've been visiting nursing homes for 20 years, and the entertainment changes with the times. These days you'll hear doo-wop and Elvis. In 20 years it'll be Madonna. Unfortunately for goths and punks, intense, creepy music bothers people with dementia.
GooseberryPotato@reddit
Which version of Madonna, because if it’s version 1.0 ummm 20 years might be a bit late 😂
ScreenTricky4257@reddit
I think it's actually called Daisy Bell.
Boochiecoo@reddit
Past life memory, maybe
Teaspoonbill@reddit
Have a friend about 20 years older than me, twice divorced, no kids. His health has deteriorated rapidly the last eighteen months, and he has just recently moved into assisted living. A mutual friend and I visited him for lunch last Friday. It seems like a perfectly pleasant place, but yeah, that possibly being my future reality felt rather less theoretical than it did before seeing our friend.
Embarrassed_Cat2697@reddit
I had walked into my sister's house the night she died. I used my key because she didn't answer, and I felt the reaper as soon as I walked in. I peered down the hallway, and she was in bed, so I left. I had grown up in that house and i had walked in many times while she lived there. I wouldn't find out she died until the next day, but I felt a presence in that house I'll never forget.
ScreenTricky4257@reddit
Put up some high scores.
Boochiecoo@reddit
It’s the weird things that just get you right in the… I don’t even know what.
NaturalForty@reddit (OP)
The feels. That's now old slang, so we can use it.
Roadkiller611@reddit
Yessir. Right in the feels.
MaximumJones@reddit