Kids and deodorant | TheaterFire

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Atillion@reddit

I just bought some after seeing a video from a middle school teacher saying "your kids stink, get them deodorant"

My kid was like YES THANK YOU! and I asked if anyone ever said anything about him smelling and he said yes. I was like, brother why didn't you tell me?? 😭

So don't count on them to tell you, but definitely count on them to stink.

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red286@reddit

I was like, brother why didn't you tell me?? 😭

When I was that age, I didn't realize it was 100% normal, so I started freaking out. I'd scrub the hell out of my pits in the shower, but by noon they'd be stinky, and I couldn't for the life of me figure out what the fuck was going on. It wasn't until my PE teacher told me that I needed to ask my parents to buy me deodorant that I clued in.

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Marsupial-Old@reddit

Man the showering thing. Everybody knew I stank. My step mom would make comments about how I smelled so bad I made her eyes water and she couldn't be in the same room as me. They made me feel like I was disgusting. I started washing my armpits every time I went to the bathroom. But did those assholes do anything about it? No. For two years this went on until my (fraternal) twin started to need deodorant and I used hers

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Particular-Day-7457@reddit

This made me think of my mom 😅 she is an aid at a school and the 5th grade gets to go to the Y for swimming lessons and the teachers call it every year ‘the great defunking’ 🙃 so I guess BO starts around then lol

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4luminate@reddit

my kid was that kid. except he was only with us 50% of the time...but we were primary contact with the school, so when teacher told my kid that he needed to shower on a Monday, after being with pops on the weekend, wifey and i were the ones contacted. it was fucking mortifying.

and it happened more than once.

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Lucky-Remote-5842@reddit

As someone who works in a school, don't worry. We can tell which parent they're with at a given time. 😄 It's not always the Dad's house that's lax in hygiène, permission slips and homework, either.

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FormidableMistress@reddit

My best friend's kid always came back from his dad's with a rash around his mouth when he was little. Kid constantly had ring worm too. The dad had a husky and a muddy yard and you could see where the dog came in with a muddy tail and left muddy tail prints along the walls. The whole house was disgusting so the kid was always sick before he was able to be responsible for his own hygiene.

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4luminate@reddit

oh yeah, ring worm was pretty common, too. and pinworms.

none of this shit happened at our house till kid came back from pops. it was infuriating.

eventually this kid chose to live with his dad 100% of the time because he had total freedom. if that wasn't obvious.

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If I noticed my kids stunk when they first got to that stage I just matter of factly said “hey you stink, you need to take a shower and put on deodorant”. If they get offended I said “it’s my job to tell you that. I do it because I care. If I don’t tell you who will?” And sometimes added “Do you just want to go around stinking???” 😂

Aww! I just read your update and it sounds like it all worked out well! I was going to say it’s dad’s job to tell her/ask her in this case (just to protect your relationship with her), but it sounds like all is well!

U8 LAX and Hockey. Those kids need deodorant. And perhaps a lesson on hanging their equipment to dry out between games/practices.

magpieoneeye@reddit

Just grab a roll on and a stick option, kid might prefer the feel of one over the other. If kiddo is a tomboy she might prefer the smell of boys' options.

Please also ensure she has access to period products of her choice, or a range of options if she's not there yet.

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misskellycupcake@reddit (OP)

She's not there yet. I'm going to grab pads today. I already have a BJs box of tampons. Terrified she'll start it when she's here and I'm the only one home. But her mom only lives 2 miles away so I figure if that happens I'll just call her up and she can come get her for some bonding time.

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magpieoneeye@reddit

You're wonderful. If you're on good terms with Mum, maybe ask her how she'd prefer you respond if that happens? Some parents have strong views about the products their child should use.

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Trying so hard (but also in a chill way) to convince my 9yo that she doesn’t have to do things (especially like shaving off body hair) just because other kids might do it.

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misskellycupcake@reddit (OP)

I also started shaving because my friends did, super Italian girls, they started really early. I'm so blond I barely had anything visible but the pressure to fit in at that age....

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Blackbird136@reddit

Exactly the same, except I do remember a few times being in the car, and when the sun would hit my thigh hairs, making them visible, I felt embarrassed.

Astrazigniferi@reddit

My big kid just turned 11. At the beginning of the school year, almost the very first message that his teacher sent out was “after our first gym class, it is apparent that our class is ready for deodorant!” And they’ve talked about it multiple times this year. They had 5th grade sleepaway camp this spring and wanted the kids really ready to handle their own hygiene. It’s part of their health curriculum, too.

My kid hasn’t actually hit the stink yet. He’s a competitive gymnast, so we’d know. But we bought him deodorant for camp, keep it in the bathroom, and encourage him to use it now. We want him to have strong deodorant habits in place by the time he really needs it.

Honestly, our biggest challenge is just getting him to actually shower. He never wants to take the time. 🤦🏻‍♀️

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misskellycupcake@reddit (OP)

You'd think we're showering them with poison they way they avoud it!

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BiscottiLeading@reddit

My kids doctor mentioned it at a yearly check up when he was 11. Said it was a good habit to start before it was a problem. Since we were playing hookie for the rest of the day we stopped at the store before going home. I let him smell all the different kinds. He wasn't finding any that he liked and I asked what he was looking for. He said cookie dough or muffins. I did eventually find a sugar cookie scent for him, but it's seasonal and expensive. I usually stock up in early January.

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misskellycupcake@reddit (OP)

That's adorable. I hate when things are seasonal!

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Classic_Breadfruit18@reddit

Either one is fine. I just bought one for my kids, and when they got used to using it they started looking for different scents/ brands themselves.

misskellycupcake@reddit (OP)

Yup. Turns 11 this week. She's tall but hasn't started changing yet.

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KatyLouStu@reddit

Deodorant, like shaving products and menstrual care products, was in the house and talked about well before it was needed. 8/9 years old was the sweet spot for us.

"Here. I got this for you for when you need it. Here's what I use and how I use it. Here's the areas of your body this is meant for. Please let me know if you have any questions or problems or need help." (sometimes there's deodorant like Lume that you can use on your pits, AND feet & genitals too, and grooming shavers that you can use all over your body, etc.)

My kid is 16 and does sports, and has always asked for the same one. I think my husband suggested that version back in the day.

On one of our more recent trips to the store, he said he needed some. We couldnt find his regular at first, but even after we did, i pointed out that there were other scents and types and multiple versions, if he wanted to try something different.

I ended up very allergic to the brand my dad and Grandpa used but didn't know there were other brands for like two years.

So in the early 90's I chose a two year armpit rash because nobody would just talk to me about it.

Do they not bring kids into the gym and handout deodorant anymore?

I remember the gym teacher taught everyone how to apply it properly and we all got a gift bag with body wash and deodorant.

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misskellycupcake@reddit (OP)

They're 50/50 with us but the school is in the next town over so I don't know how they roll. I met the kids two years ago but I just moved in over the winter so I'm just settling into how to best help them through the next few years of changes. My partner isn't the best with the gitly stuff. He had no idea of she had deodorant. It just occured to me when I needed a new one that she's never asked for a refill. She'll ask for new socks and underwear when she out grows them but I was just like... oh yeah, deodorant might be a thing for a 5th grader.

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Rdubya291@reddit

I just buy him what I use. Just have to remind him to put it on. And that wearing it, is not a replacement for a shower.

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misskellycupcake@reddit (OP)

Showers are such a battle with kids!

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RaspberryVespa@reddit

So my thoughts ... You could just go buy her one and give it to her (and hope she appreciates and uses it), or you could take her to the store and let her choose her own so she can select her own scent (or unscented, which is actually best anyway) and then she can feel some autonomy in making a grown up decision for her self (which she might really appreciate). Definitely take the time to educate her on antiperspirant vs deordorant, and explain the differences/benefits/cons between white solids and clear gels. Maybe also explain how and when to put it on so as to not get it all over her clothes. These are things I wish someone would have told me when I first started using deodorant. But I had zero guidance and had to figure shit out on my own.

Since kids are forgetful I just buy any toiletries my stepdaughters might need while they're at our place and keep them in their room. Now that they're older (almost 10 and newly 14) we'll go out together and I'll let them pick what they want. When they were younger I just got cute, girly kids stuff that I thought they'd like (and did). When the oldest was 10/11 I picked up the deodorant in the photo below and she'd actually use it (kids tend to be super hesitant/stubborn when it comes to deodorant). If your stepdaughter is anything like mine the skincare and perfume obsession is coming soon! It's so much fun (for me and the girls, my husband but so much, ha!)

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misskellycupcake@reddit (OP)

Yes! I only moved on over the winter so it's all new to me, trying to guess what they already know or will soon need. I never thought about it til I needed to get a refill ofy own the other day and realized she turns 11 this week and probably should get some. Herigher dgd I don't have a relationship so I'm very in the dark. I don't want to pry or embarrass her, you know? I'm getting her a dove vanilla for this house today so she doesn't have to pack it every week and I'm going to get a thing of pads just because who knows when that'll become necessary.

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KellyGreen55555@reddit

Aww, you seem like a sweet person to think about this stuff. I’m a foster parent so I deal with this a lot. An 11 year old girl may not need it yet (some do, some don’t). Just ask her! It shows you care. She may even want to pick some out just to feel older? She also may not care to shop for it but needs it. Everyone is different. With two older brothers she likely doesn’t know how fun this stuff can be. In general, boys are pretty basic when it comes to this stuff. I have two kids I bought deodorant for in 1st grade. Everyone’s biology is so different.

Ihavenotimeforthisno@reddit

I think I got my kids some deodorant and perfume for Christmas and they started using that themselves. Now they pick out their own when shopping.

Yeah. I just learned about this today. I have a box of q-tips that's probably approaching 25 years old. And I've never used any of it for my ears.

What's becoming more surprising to me is that there isn't a single other East Asian person in this thread?! That's almost unbelievable.

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jp112078@reddit

Full disclosure: I’m white as hell. But am friends with many SE Asians so am aware of this. It’s definitely a blessing to have this mutation, I assure you!

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wildplums@reddit

What?!?

Yes, you probably are.

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KaleidoscopeShort408@reddit

There are cultural differences around this topic; in some countries/ethnic communities deodorant use is much less common, and the smell of sweat/body odor is seen as neutral. And of course there are people who naturally sweat less/don't smell as much as others. But if you're in America (among other places), yes, you probably do smell unpleasant to other people.

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ken830@reddit

I'm Chinese-American. Raised here. But no one has ever mentioned to me that I smell unpleasant. Not as a kid. Not as an adult. It's been decades. You would think at least someone would've said or hinted at it by now if it were true. At least a girlfriend or even my wife or at the very least, some kid (kids are the most honest people and have no politeness filter). Seems impossible.

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KaleidoscopeShort408@reddit

Interesting. Do you mostly interact with other Chinese-Americans (as in, were your girlfriends Chinese-American? Is your wife?)? I don't know if this is one of the ethnic communities where not wearing deodorant is the norm - that would seem to explain it - but my experience as someone socialized to prefer/expect deodorant is that if someone doesn't use it, I will definitely notice. Just about everyone has body odor to some degree. But I would only mention body odor to someone in my immediate family or a partner, if I did it at all.

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ken830@reddit

Sort of. I grew up in San Francisco, so I grew up with a large Chinese community around me, but not exclusively. Yes, my girlfriends and wife are Chinese-American. In the San Francisco Bay Area, the Asian community is significant and I work as an engineer in tech companies, so it's also disproportionately-Asian.

I had to look this up and it seems 80-90% of East-Asian people have a gene mutation (ABCC11) that results in virtually no body odor. Shrug

She didn’t have body odor yet, but we wanted her to get used to wearing deodorant before it became an issue.

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iheartnjdevils@reddit

I've just bought but found he was more excited to use the ones he picked out.

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JoyRideinaMinivan@reddit

We just bought some for our kids. When they get old enough to care, they can go sniff deodorants to see which one they like best.

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EricSparrowSucks@reddit

I grew up in the Teen Spirit era. My older sister had every scent on her dresser and I just started using them too. Just put a few different ones in the bathroom and let them figure out which one they like! I’m 40 now and still have 5 different ones in my bathroom. I can’t tell the difference between them (I wanted the Secret Wicked ones, regular Secret Clinical usually get bought in bulk at Sam’s, I have a random Teen Spirit from a vacation where I forgot to pack a stick, a Dove x Crumbl one that was part of a set, and a random Degree gel) but I like the variety.

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ItsDarwinMan82@reddit

I did too, and I loved it. I gag at now.

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skywalkerRCP@reddit

My son, who is 17 now, we just started buying for him and then at some point he found what liked. My daughter, 11, wears what I wear (Dr. Squatch) because one day she just put it on and has ever since. She's a daddy's girl.

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IslandGrover@reddit

Dude. That's funny - my HS girlfriend came in wearing her dad's deodorant one time and I just about gagged. I could get near her without picturing him.

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skywalkerRCP@reddit

Lmao

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29flavors@reddit

Definitely the dad’s plan all along.

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chawrawbeef@reddit

I ask the internet what to do

When I was in 5th grade they combined two classes one afternoon and then divided us by gender. We had our first sex ed lesson. They gave each of us girls a little baggie with a booklet of info, a sanitary pad, a panty liner, and a travel-sized tube of Secret Baby Power deodorant.

I can't remember what happened for my first kid, but the second one, for some reason, stunk really early. I just told him he needed to buy some, took him to the store, and asked which scent he preferred.

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BrianJPugh@reddit

As with toothpaste, soap, and shampoo once they got around 10\~12 years old and the kids version run out I just have them use the same stuff I'm using. For deodrant though I just have extra sticks that I put their name on. My daughter just picked up what ever her mother had.

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elphaba00@reddit

I'd always get the five-packs of Degree from Sam's, so sometime in the middle school years, I'd start leaving one on his dresser. With my youngest, I guess she just bought some for herself. She'd always put together her "look" the night before, and I started noticing a thing of Secret. She's both my proactive and reactive child

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LKayRB@reddit

My kid’s friend started using it last summer and she wanted some, she was 8. This year apparently the gym teacher has been demanding they all use it; 3 swipes each arm 🤣

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squarebodynewb@reddit

Either buy them all the same, or buy them all dif. Thats all i got on deoderant.

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Ok_Bike_369@reddit

make sure it has extra aluminum in it

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emsumm58@reddit

i bought my daughter one that seemed fun - it was like gummy worm scented.

I don’t have kids of my own, but I still remember with horror my mom telling me she was going to start buying me deodorant in fifth grade.

To put this into context, I was above 90th percentile for height, but third percentile for weight. Despite this, my mom was always taller and skinnier, and would fat shame me. She was deeply immersed in the ‘low fat’ diet culture. When I was 9, she flicked my thighs and told me she was going to start buying me diet yogurt and pop. My grandma brought back macadamia nuts from Hawaii and I was forbidden from eating any because calories. This started me on a path of self deprivation and disordered thinking about food.

So if my mom telling me she was going to buy diet food was her way of telling me I was fat, her buying deodorant must have been telling me I stank.

I wasn’t really an outdoor kid. I could usually be found inside playing video games or reading. That was the year the Pogo Bal was everywhere, and I was obsessed. I was under the impression that deodorant had to be reapplied every time you sweat, so I would literally jump on the Pogo Bal for 2 minutes then run inside and put on more deodorant. I often had excuses to miss gym class, but was terrified of sports day at the end of the school year. There’s no way I’d be caught dead with a deodorant stick at school, but I’d inevitably get sweaty running around in the heat. I was a math whiz and ended up convincing my teacher to let me tally up the points for the different teams rather than actually participating in the activities. Bullet dodged.

Get your kids deodorant… unless religious/spiritual reasons… then you still gotta find something that keeps the scent down.

It’s up to parents to keep kids from being the stinky kid. Unlike our latchkey parents, we can help our kids stay above pigpen levels of dirtiness

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PiggyBear6667@reddit

My kids started to smell like onions around age 9, I remember my cousins were the same when we were little.
We just started adding deodorant to the morning routine between flossing teeth and brushing hair.

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cashews_clay15@reddit

I got him unscented deodorant at 11.

"I'm picking up a few things at the store. What kind of deodorant do you like?"