Dudes (and less specifically ladies too) - when you started attending weddings in your 20s, did you really *not* know you were supposed to give a gift?

When I got married (setting aside that it was a big mistake), we emphasized to our friends (who were all also struggling) that gifts were _optional_. Also, part of how we kept costs down was by asking (if they were comfortable with it) friends to help out via their skill sets rather than monetarily. The DJ handled the music list, a baker made cupcakes (they refused compensation), others helped with decorations, and too many others helped in too many small ways to name. It was lovely to have the opportunity to share something about our friends and family during the celebration.