Favourite heathers quote?

[-]

ChumbawumbaFan01@reddit

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, Veronica.

[-]

lorienne22@reddit

When dinner is done, I just yell, "Veronica," and everyone already knows.

[-]

charitytowin@reddit

How would be feel if his son was gay with a pulse?

[-]

Last-Relationship166@reddit

...not a quote, but the scene where Winona Ryder burns the palm of her hand with the cigarette lighter and Christian Slater attempts to light his cigarette with her palm.

[-]

mc_homeroom@reddit

Whether or not to kill yourself is one of the most important decisions a teenager faces.

I know, I know, I have contributed several deep cuts, but there are SO MANY GREAT LINES IN THAT MOVIE!!!

[-]

callalind@reddit

'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw" is the obvious answer....but my second favorite is "I love my dead, gay son!"

[-]

spartacusroosevelt@reddit

I just love that Veronica's childhood best friend was Betty.

[-]

likely2be10byagrue@reddit

And that Sawyer's best friend was Finn.

[-]

herbwannabe@reddit

Archie and jughead were around somewhere im sure.

[-]

MommaBear354@reddit

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

Fun fact my sister, cousins and I were the Heathers and Veronica at an 80s murder mystery party. We called our group Lunchtime Poll 😁

[-]

rokken70@reddit

Damn! I would have gone a full day for a cheerleader!

[-]

KyotiKill@reddit

😶 I've never seen Heather's.

I've seen people refer to it at times, but that's it.

[-]

MaenHoffiCoffi@reddit

I upvote you because downvoting you is silly, but you should see it.

[-]

MaenHoffiCoffi@reddit

Goddamn, would someone tell me why I smoke these?

'cos you're an idiot.

Oh yeah.

[-]

yoursweetbaboo@reddit

“Did you hear? School’s cancelled because Kurt and Ram killed themselves in a repressed homosexual suicide pact!”

[-]

herbwannabe@reddit

Somebidy tell me why i smoke these things....

[-]

ilisko78@reddit

Seven schools in seven states, and the only thing different is my locker combination

[-]

UserIDTBD@reddit

“Dear Diary, my teen angst bullshit has a body count.”

[-]

NaturalForty@reddit

Why was this so far down? It's the right answer.

[-]

I_Did_The_Thing@reddit

I got paid in puke!

OR

I’m red!

(Which I say anytime I’m picking colors for anything)

[-]

BadWolf7426@reddit

Life sucks losers dry, if you want to f*ck with the eagles, you have to learn to fly.

You teach people how to spread their wings and fly?

[-]

Prestigious_Grape288@reddit

I will spontaneously shout this at the randomest times (I am not a parent)

[-]

mmm_unprocessed_fish@reddit

Same. It’s as hilarious now as it was back then.

[-]

vovo76@reddit

I saw the musical a couple of weeks ago, this song was my favourite!

[-]

BillyyJackk@reddit

Lots to scrolling to the right answer!

[-]

DoomsdayMachineInc@reddit

There are many great answers, but this is the correct answer.

[-]

fromOhio@reddit

This is Ohio. I mean, if you don't have a brewski in your hand you might as well be wearing a dress

[-]

6HAM9@reddit

Username checks out

Buckeye, land of the Brew-Thru

The Breeders rule

[-]

callalind@reddit

Oh F&\^S! This one! How did I forget it? I still use this one!

[-]

I_Did_The_Thing@reddit

Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. Nobody at Westerburg’s gonna let you play their little reindeer games.

[-]

snachyderm72@reddit

Hey, that pud wapper just stepped on my shoe!

[-]

TheOsirisOfThisShit_@reddit

Pudwapper is a massively underrated insult that I have tried to keep alive.

[-]

MediaValuable1130@reddit

So when you go to college, what do you think you’ll major in?

[-]

TheOsirisOfThisShit_@reddit

You're mixing the two best lines together.

"It's so nice to meet a girl and not have to ask her what her major is."

(silence)

"So when you go to college, what subjects do you think you'll study"

[-]

Weird-Girl-675@reddit

“Fuck me gently with a chainsaw” I still say on occasion.

[-]

CraftLass@reddit

More frequently than I would like to admit.

[-]

Weird-Girl-675@reddit

It’s kind of tied with “Motherpussbucket” when I’m frustrated. Just depends on if I’m alone or around others.

I’m also the oldest in my dept so most of my movie references go over their young heads.

[-]

mc_homeroom@reddit

Moby Dick drank some bad plankton and crashed through a coffee table.

[-]

Gold_Dig2200@reddit

Save the speech from Malcolm X, I just wanna get laid.

Now I use my grand IQ to decide what type of lipgloss to wear and how to hit three keggers before curfew.

I love my dead gay son!

[-]

ChEDave82@reddit

Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?

[-]

Chemical_Author7880@reddit

“I wonder how he’d feel about a gay son with a pulse” (or close to that)

[-]

Chemical_Author7880@reddit

Thank you! I knew I was off on the wording.

Which I can’t excuse as I love that movie, saw it in theaters and had it on video!

[-]

Reasonable-Click2857@reddit

This was the first line that popped into my head!

[-]

Foulmouthedleon@reddit

“Remember fuckin’ Kansas, son?”

“That was the one with the wheat, right?”

[-]

snachyderm72@reddit

"Now I've seen a lot of bullshit. Angel dust. Switchblades. Sexually perverse photography exibits involving tennis rackets."

[-]

Federal-Toe-8926@reddit

Not really a quote, but I'll occasionally get Que Sera Sera stuck in my head

[-]

KarateHotChop@reddit

You were nothing before you met me. You were a Bluebird. You were a Brownie. You were a Girl Scout cookie.

[-]

Plant-Lady-6@reddit

Transfer to Washington. Transfer to Jefferson. No one at Westerburg is going to let you play their reindeer games.

[-]

Mandyvlp@reddit

I often perform this monologue to no one in particular 😆

[-]

7piecechicken@reddit

I always tell my kids to get off their MTV Video Games all the time.

[-]

hmmmweirdIguess@reddit

I was pleased to see that she used the word "myriad" in her suicide note.

[-]

EMale1965@reddit

"They certainly seem to have an open-door policy on assholes!" 😊😊😊

[-]

Naive_Lengthiness882@reddit

How very.

Which I use today, to the great puzzlement of young people.

[-]

Somewhere in the very beginning, before the start of a class, one of the OG Heathers said - “I have a note from my plastic surgeon to get out of P.E. He said any activity involving balls flying at my face was out.”
Other Heather - ‘Well there goes your social life, Heather!’

(They seem to have taken it out of the version I rented recently 🤯… best line ever)

[-]

Alternative_Sort_404@reddit

I don’t even remember seeing Clueless… guess I’m old now

[-]

BatCorrect4320@reddit

That’s from Clueless

[-]

mrsrobertfossil@reddit

That joke was in Clueless

[-]

KarateHotChop@reddit

I should have let you take that job at the mall.

[-]

minionofjoy@reddit

Ich blugha bullets

[-]

Milesotooleaudio@reddit

Ich lüge

[-]

Mandyvlp@reddit

My grandfather snagged a bunch of these during WWII

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Don't remember that one? Is it the movie? I've only seen the parts musical so far

[-]

luna_noir@reddit

Oh bless you. Please watch the movie.

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

I'll try rent it!

[-]

KreiaDarthTraya@reddit

I think it's free on some services like Tubi

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Ooh yay have tubi

[-]

luna_noir@reddit

The musical is but a pale shadow.

[-]

marrklarr@reddit

Musical?

[-]

smarmy1625@reddit

filmed version of the stage production

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Yeah theres a musical version!

[-]

Soggy-Professor7025@reddit

What’s your damage Heather?

[-]

dogslogic@reddit

Veronica says you're being a real cooze

[-]

Mandyvlp@reddit

Say you like to suck big dicks.

Ok, ok! you like to suck big dicks.

[-]

Harkonnen_Dog@reddit

gif

I love my dead, gay son.

[-]

Leafs9999@reddit

"Didnt you read the sign, it says no queers allowed?" "No, I didnt.But they seem to have an open door policy on assholes".

[-]

Mandyvlp@reddit

“Hey what did your boyfriend say when you told him you were moving to Sherwood Ohio”

“Answer him, dick”

[-]

EllaMcWho@reddit

The line delivery for this one … impeccable

[-]

Leafs9999@reddit

Definitely doing his best Jack Nicholson here.

[-]

Mandyvlp@reddit

“Thank you, Pauline. You call me when the shuttle lands”

[-]

NaturalAd8452@reddit

I said “fuck me with a chainsaw” more times than I’d like to count.

[-]

terra_cascadia@reddit

*Gently*

[-]

cugamer@reddit

Pretty much anything JDs dad says.

[-]

Chemical_Author7880@reddit

Eskimo

[-]

EpponneeRay@reddit

“Heather, Dinner”

[-]

TheDarkestStjarna@reddit

I made your favourite. Spaghetti with oregano.

[-]

TheDarkestStjarna@reddit

Relax mom, why so tense?

[-]

stayweird3000@reddit

“Real life sucks losers dry. If you want to fuck with the eagles, you have to learn how to fly.”

[-]

TheDarkestStjarna@reddit

You're beautiful.

[-]

frostedpuzzle@reddit

Greetings and salutations.

[-]

AproposOfDiddly@reddit

I use this phrase on the regular to this day.

[-]

frostedpuzzle@reddit

It’s also in Charlotte’s Web. I suspect it was a reference with Slater being the spider about to trap Ryder.

[-]

sziklai-pair@reddit

I definitely overused this one back in high school (movie came out when I was in 9th grade)

[-]

karenw@reddit

Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling.

[-]

Kazzlin@reddit

"Nag, nag, nag!"

"This is Ohio. If you don't have a brewski in your hand, you may as well be wearing a dress."

[-]

TickingTheMoments@reddit

Could somebody tell me why I smoke these damn things?

Cause you’re an idiot.

Oh yeah, that’s it.

[-]

Kazzlin@reddit

"You two..."

[-]

siannan@reddit

CORN NUTS

[-]

Become_Pneuma462@reddit

I still say this every time I see them in the snack aisle and then immediately grab a bag or 2

[-]

electrictatco@reddit

I don't patronize bunny rabbits.

[-]

mrsrobertfossil@reddit

Yep the winner

[-]

Visible-Freedom-7822@reddit

This is my absolute favorite!

[-]

SushiGirlRC@reddit

I'm older Gen-X. I only saw this movie last year lol.

[-]

RapsodicalDisciple@reddit

"guess who belly flopped in front of a semi while wearing a suicide note today?"

[-]

PurfuitOfHappineff@reddit

If you were happy every day of your life you wouldn't be human, you'd be a game show host.

[-]

Reasonable-HB678@reddit

Though I put this as my favorite, I've scrolled way too much to see it elsewhere.

[-]

No-Raisin-6469@reddit

Eskimo

[-]

Reasonable-HB678@reddit

Is this turnout weak, or what? At least 70 more people at my funeral.

[-]

CmdrDTauro@reddit

This needs to be higher

[-]

Reasonable-HB678@reddit

If you were happy every day of your life, you wouldn't be a human being, you'd be a game show host.

[-]

broberds@reddit

"Like a suicide thing"?

[-]

Remote_Sherbet_1499@reddit

I love my dead gay son!

[-]

Stardro@reddit

Having a gay son, this whole scene hits different in our household, in the best ways. Any time kid and bf walk in Dramatic "My son was a homosexual!!" Grabs kids face "I love you dead gay son!!!"

[-]

Minimum-Dare301@reddit

Love this!

[-]

lcplscary@reddit

Gotta let the BF know what he's in for joining the family! 😂

[-]

Nanarchist329@reddit

This is the one. I say this all the time.

[-]

76Clover@reddit

Me tooooo!

[-]

beaushaw@reddit

As do I. 99.9% of the time I get some really weird looks.

[-]

Comedywriter1@reddit

This is the one.

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

THEY WERE NOT DIRTY!

[-]

Minimum-Dare301@reddit

I love my damn gay son!

[-]

pumkinut@reddit

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw

[-]

oep87@reddit

This. I use it all the time.

[-]

ladyrose403@reddit

this ended up being my 12 year old's favorite quote after i watched the movie w/ her.

[-]

IchBinDurstig@reddit

Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?

[-]

NothingAndNow111@reddit

Did you have a brain tumour for breakfast?

[-]

Murky_Possibility_68@reddit

There's a new sheriff in town.

[-]

Doja_Gnat@reddit

gif

[-]

wynand1004@reddit

Well, they seem to have an open door policy on assholes.

[-]

AmbassadorParking144@reddit

Eskimo.

[-]

bugbrown1@reddit

"I love my dead gay son"

[-]

PapaDeE04@reddit

Came here to say this, absolutely slayed me the first time I saw it in the theater!

[-]

Mangolandia@reddit

What’s your damage?

[-]

althius1@reddit

This, but unironically. I imagine no one truly appreciates it, but if someone is acting kind of pissy, my go to is absolutely, "What's your damage?"

[-]

Mangolandia@reddit

Yes, but it backfires with pissy teens (offspring, specifically)

[-]

Flappadingo@reddit

I got paid in PUKE

[-]

CmdrDTauro@reddit

Lick it up baby. Lick.it.up.

[-]

Ok-Prize-6634@reddit

I would say “fuck me gently with a chainsaw” on loop.

[-]

LucyEwalker@reddit

What’s your damage?

[-]

SadCheesecake2539@reddit

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw

And

I love my dead gay son

[-]

Original_Musician103@reddit

I still say “what’s your damage, Heather” to deserving individuals

[-]

RealityDependency@reddit

Corn nuts.

[-]

babygotbooksandback@reddit

BQ or plain?

[-]

tomdav226@reddit

BQ!

[-]

bugbrown1@reddit

Omg, every time I see those in the store. 😂

[-]

tomdav226@reddit

Great pate mom but I gotta motor if I want to make the funeral on time.

[-]

jaime_riri@reddit

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw

[-]

tronassembled@reddit

We all said this constantly and it needs reviving

[-]

FeelGoodNotBad@reddit

Lick it up, baby! Lick. It. Up.

[-]

bugbrown1@reddit

I forgot about this one! 🤣

[-]

Dry_Outcome2117@reddit

What’s your damage, Heather?

[-]

amosborn@reddit

I yelled this at someone in traffic just a few days ago. I haven't thought of that phrase in ages.

[-]

catahouladog1@reddit

I still say this on the regular!

[-]

Dry_Outcome2117@reddit

I swear I say it almost every day!

[-]

IamGypsyStarr@reddit

It’s my inner monologue frequently enough. Like when I get a brain fog or do something lame.

[-]

smellsogood2@reddit

I have a sweatshirt with this on it. Not everyone gets it, but those who do love it.

[-]

the_good_twin@reddit

Every night, I call my son to the table by yelling, "Veronica! Din-ner!"

[-]

bugbrown1@reddit

😂

[-]

Keefer1970@reddit

I still use "fuck me gently with a chainsaw" regularly.

[-]

jaime_riri@reddit

ditto

[-]

Mama-Rock-73@reddit

Same

[-]

Timely-Ad-4109@reddit

I love my dead, gay son.

[-]

11systems11@reddit

Came here to add this

[-]

7GrenciaMars@reddit

OMG that was such a perfect moment from that movie. Wish I had an award for you. 🦝 Here's a racoon instead because they are one of the most most awesome forms of chaos ever.

[-]

Which-Arugula-1982@reddit

This thread is why Reddit fucking rules.

[-]

Sea-Butterscotch9805@reddit

You want some pate?

[-]

this_kitty68@reddit

“Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?”

[-]

PurfuitOfHappineff@reddit

Obligatory not-fun-fact... Kim Walker, the actress who played Heather Chandler and said that line, died of a brain tumor :(

[-]

KarateHotChop@reddit

Dear God: Why’d you have to kill such hot snatch?

[-]

Greeney_Eyes@reddit

"I'm gonna have to motor if I wanna be ready for this funeral in time" or words to that effect.

[-]

Walzz111@reddit

These are all quite good

[-]

Ok_Cicada_3420@reddit

“Why are you such a bitch?” “Because I can be.”

[-]

StrangeAtomRaygun@reddit

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

[-]

lylemcd@reddit

Dad: Why do I keep smoking these things
Heather: Because you're an idiot.
Dad: Oh yeah....

[-]

ikonet@reddit

* Veronica, but this is a great one lol

[-]

lylemcd@reddit

Derp, thanks for the correction.

[-]

PinkyandElric@reddit

I dunno, can you bleach out urine stains?

[-]

frostedpuzzle@reddit

"Will someone please tell me why I smoke these damn things?"

"Because you're an idiot."

"Oh yeah, that's it."

[-]

ConfidenceFragrant80@reddit

"You two..." 😏

[-]

RealityDependency@reddit

Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs, darling.

[-]

nevermore0069@reddit

"I love my dead gay son!"

[-]

fungusamongus8@reddit

I love my dead gay son

[-]

TheVioletEmpire@reddit

There it is.

[-]

zestfullybe@reddit

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?

[-]

RedSparrow1971@reddit

Beat me to it

[-]

RealityDependency@reddit

Did you eat a brain tumor for breakfast?

[-]

6HAM9@reddit

“Wonder how he'd react if his son had a limp wrist with a pulse?”

[-]

GenXgirlie@reddit

Great patè but I gotta motor if I wanna make this funeral…

[-]

fleabus412@reddit

Why'd you have to kill such hot snatch?

[-]

KarateHotChop@reddit

Dear God,

[-]

wjrj@reddit

" My date for the prom kinda flaked on me."

[-]

AskTheAdmin@reddit

Big fun

[-]

Loveyrose521@reddit

Veronica! DINNNNNNERRRR!

[-]

ChiknenPuffn71@reddit

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

[-]

gevander2@reddit

I love my dead, gay son!

[-]

marzipancetta@reddit

Came here to say this

[-]

House_Junkie@reddit

“Such a pillowcase!”

[-]

CarlatheDestructor@reddit

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw. Do I look like Mother Theresa?

[-]

spidermans_mom@reddit

Came here for this

[-]

elder_goth@reddit

Same, chainsaw fucking always wins

[-]

stolen_guitar@reddit

I don't patronize bunny rabbits!

[-]

electrictatco@reddit

Put this one in too

[-]

ernurse748@reddit

Now I know you understand. PRAISE JESUS!

[-]

KarateHotChop@reddit

Let’s take another look at today’s lunch.

[-]

DeadLined784@reddit

Shut up Veronica! If it weren't for me you'd still be playing Barbie Dolls with Betty Finn.

Is that paté?

[-]

KarateHotChop@reddit

How I wish these were actually consecutive quotes.

[-]

DMonkeyMind@reddit

I love my dead gay son

[-]

Cmorethecat@reddit

This right here

[-]

BlackLakeBlueFish@reddit

This is the best answer.

[-]

CoverCommercial3576@reddit

eskimo

[-]

hiccup_78@reddit

Es-kee-mo

[-]

hiccup_78@reddit

No way, no day

[-]

FullyFunctional3086@reddit

Gotta motor if I'm gonna make that funeral.

[-]

KarateHotChop@reddit

Call me when the shuttle lands.

[-]

WandaTrusslerBeauty@reddit

I would like to register a complaint that the image on this post is not from the original movie. I will not acknowledge any other versions of this IP but the original, thank you.

[-]

unknowner1@reddit

“Diet Coke-head”, I still say this often

[-]

pointless_narwal@reddit

...swatch dogs, and diet cokeheads

[-]

Warm_Safety_9550@reddit

“I’m a no-rust-build-up man myself.”

For some reason, my favorite quotes are often the line nobody else seems to remember.

[-]

TheBetaUnit@reddit

"I put a Norwegian in the boiler room!"

[-]

klements7@reddit

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw!

[-]

instantlyadorable@reddit

Came here to say this

[-]

DreamTheaterGuy@reddit

"Heather, why can't you just be a friend? Why do you have to be such a mega-bitch?"

[-]

ParsleyMostly@reddit

Because I can be

[-]

BabyInABar@reddit

Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?

[-]

Suspicious_Sundae931@reddit

Sad factoid - the actress who delivered that line died from a brain tumor.

[-]

Oriencor@reddit

Dear Diary, my teen-angst bullshit now has a body count.
gif

Or..
ESKIMO.

[-]

AskTheAdmin@reddit

Greetings and salutations

[-]

DMonkeyMind@reddit

Corn nuts

[-]

DMonkeyMind@reddit

Can’t remember exactly something like “My teenage angst has a body count

[-]

Dull_Translator9692@reddit

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw

[-]

temp_flor@reddit

This!!!

[-]

thonnard42@reddit

"Great paté, but I gotta motor if I'm gonna make this funeral."

"Fuck me gently with a chansaw."

"I LOVE MY DEAD GAY SON!"

[-]

Smittles@reddit

These are the three.

[-]

TransportationDue856@reddit

I’m feeling a little superior today.
Let’s go get a slushie.

[-]

Paulbac@reddit

I love my dead gay son.

[-]

Chalice_Ink@reddit

I wonder how he feel about a limp wrist with a pulse.

[-]

HavBoWilTrvl@reddit

I don't like my friends.

I don't like your friends either.

[-]

Chalice_Ink@reddit

Our love is God. Let’s go get a slushie.

[-]

CompetitiveFun5247@reddit

Corn nuts

[-]

CoughItUpChompers@reddit

BQ or plain?

[-]

rimmo@reddit

BQ!

[-]

bb9116@reddit

"... the MTV videogames..."

[-]

d-u-n_done@reddit

Because you’re an idiot.

[-]

juan_samuel@reddit

I LOVE MY DEAD GAY SON

[-]

heathers_damage@reddit

The. Entire. Damn. Movie. Obvs

[-]

oedipa17@reddit

“Gotta motor if I’m gonna make it to this funeral.”

Common conversation-ender in my household, when someone has to stop talking and get moving (usually not to a funeral).

[-]

PurfuitOfHappineff@reddit

…usually

[-]

SensitiveElephant501@reddit

"I heard it was really gnarly. She sucked down a bowl of multi-purpose deodorizing disinfectant, and then... SMASH!"

[-]

tbodillia@reddit

I love my dead gay son!

Gay because they found bottled water at the scene.

[-]

PurfuitOfHappineff@reddit

If you don’t have a brewski in your hand you might as well be wearing a dress.

[-]

SugarsBoogers@reddit

Came here to say this one. Still cracks me up!

[-]

muffyrohrer@reddit

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

[-]

gunscythe@reddit

I have used this since the movie.

[-]

Reneeisme@reddit

This one. Used regularly for years.

[-]

mamahollman@reddit

I'm in going to prom or going to hell

[-]

Dutch7422@reddit

The answers can only be found in the MTV video games

[-]

issafly@reddit

"These are 'Ich luge' bullets."

[-]

Key-Cattle-2866@reddit

“I mean, this is Ohio. If you don’t have a brewski in your hand you might as well be wearing a dress.”

“Save the speeches for Malcolm X. I just wanna get laid.”

[-]

roysterino@reddit

Heather my love. There’s a new sheriff in town.

[-]

delulu4drama@reddit

Myriad

[-]

roysterino@reddit

Nice.

[-]

PurfuitOfHappineff@reddit

Es-ki-mo

[-]

Milesotooleaudio@reddit

Rubbing noses with Jesus

[-]

djferguson3@reddit

Corn nuts!

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

You all understood the assignment good job

[-]

rcw00@reddit

BQ or Plain?

[-]

fabfotog@reddit

BQ!!

[-]

needhelp1209@reddit

Came here for this.

[-]

Upbeat_Literature483@reddit

Sit and spin

[-]

KayNay420@reddit

What’s your damage?

[-]

Ok-Toe3535@reddit

I still use this irl all the time, only I add the Heather

[-]

Diarygirl@reddit

I get confusion from people sometimes that don't understand why I'm calling them Heather lol.

[-]

Ok-Toe3535@reddit

I mostly do it to my spouse & he’s used to my weirdness.

[-]

Soledad_Sequoia@reddit

Dear Diary,

My teen angst bullshit has a body count!!!

[-]

calmlikeasexbobomb@reddit

…the way that life… can SUCK

[-]

tanhauser_gates_@reddit

dump truck

[-]

Gisselle441@reddit

Damn. I'd be willing to go half a day for a cheerleader!

[-]

jen_esse@reddit

"Fuck me gently with a chainsaw, Heather! Do I look like Mother Theresa? If I did, I probably wouldn't mind talking to the geek squad!"

I use all or parts of that quote all the time. Especially the first part. I love it!!

[-]

Gisselle441@reddit

I also the nerd's reaction.

spits out drink "Did you see that? Heather number 1 just looked right at me!"

[-]

CaliMassNC@reddit

Extra points for savagery if you work at a Best Buy.

[-]

SuccessfulAd5806@reddit

Seven schools in seven state and the only thing different is my locker combination.

[-]

CADman0909@reddit

This is Ohio…

[-]

srboot@reddit

I love my dead gay son!

[-]

10blizzard@reddit

Came here to say this!

[-]

Feminist_Hugh_Hefner@reddit

this is the go-to line with my partner when mocking the cargo-shorts and New Balance dads...

[-]

Fit-Bus2025@reddit

Never seen the movie. I'm a Gen X'er.

[-]

ljw1031@reddit

Why not?? This a classic Gen X movie!!!

[-]

mdjordan71@reddit

Umm? Watch it, now. It’s the antithesis to all the John Hughes feel good movies full of Heathers.

In a world full of Heathers, be a Veronica!

[-]

76Clover@reddit

Whaaaa? This is a Gen X movie

[-]

Fit-Bus2025@reddit

I think it was made in the 80's?

[-]

76Clover@reddit

Yes came out in 89 I was a junior in high school

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

That's cool! It's basically mean girls with murder

[-]

Fit-Bus2025@reddit

I will put it on my watch list.

[-]

PM_ME_UR_FLOWERS@reddit

It has Christian Slater and Wynona Ryder

[-]

Cheap-Unit-2363@reddit

Transfer to Jefferson, transfer to Washington. No one at Westerberg wants to play your reindeer games.

[-]

TheClearcoatKid@reddit

“I’ve been a school administrator for thirty years, and I’ve seen some serious shit: switchblades, Angel Dust…sexually perverse photography exhibits involving tennis rackets…BUT NEVER ANYTHING LIKE THIS!”

[-]

PurfuitOfHappineff@reddit

"Are you a Heather?" "No, I'm a Veronica."

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Winona aced that role

[-]

icrossedtheroad@reddit

Oh man. When she gets in the shower fully clothed in her finest black and you could STILL see how big her tits were and how tiny her waist was. I was sooo jealous.

[-]

Trike117@reddit

“I love my dead gay son!”

[-]

whatsasimba@reddit

"Wonder how he'd react if his son had a limp wrist with a pulse."

[-]

icrossedtheroad@reddit

I tend to get the nervous giggles at funerals and I'm always so scared to get THAT LOOK that she gets in response to her giggle.

[-]

PeptoBismark@reddit

“it’s good to want things”

My favorite reply when someone wants something from me that I don’t care to give.

[-]

Majik_Sheff@reddit

My kids have heard this one more times than I care to think about.

[-]

nochickflickmoments@reddit

This is the one I use a lot

[-]

thelaceserpent@reddit

Teenage suicide, DONT DO IT! 🎶

[-]

icrossedtheroad@reddit

I've sung this regularly since its first release.

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Drugs and alcohol they don't mix!

[-]

TwistedMemories@reddit

I very much love Winona Ryder. She’s the only person in the world that would make weak in the knees if I met her.

And I had volunteered for SXSW and worked the panels room meeting and speaking with hundreds of famous people. 🥰💕

gif

[-]

MaximumJones@reddit

gif

[-]

g0estoeleven@reddit

Eskimo. It’s so mysterious

[-]

DirkBelig@reddit

Veronica: "Lots of people drink bottled water."
JD: "Yeah, but this is Ohio and if you don't have a brewski in your hand you may as well be wearing a dress."

[-]

Rich-Concept781@reddit

Mineral water

[-]

mc_homeroom@reddit

Save the speeches for Malcom X... I just wanna get laid!

[-]

bro_hal@reddit

My son’s girlfriend asked me just yesterday if I had seen the Heathers musical.

I said no, the movie is perfect and needs no musical.

[-]

Tchio_Beto@reddit

I agree that the musical wasn't needed, but in its defence it was quite good. Not as good as the movie, but it was worth the price of the ticket; which was a birthday gift so... Ha!

The attempted TV series from a few years ago on the other hand..... I'd rather take one of JD's "Ich Lüge" bullets in the Occipital than admit its existence.

[-]

ItsCatCat@reddit

FUCK ME GENTLY WITH A CHAINSAW!

[-]

CharmingDagger@reddit

My wife and I still say this to each other

[-]

PsychoticMessiah@reddit

Great pate, but I gotta motor if I wanna be ready for that funeral.

[-]

JadedAd6614@reddit

Because you’re an idiot.

Also- oh, the humanity!

[-]

reversedgaze@reddit

what a waste, oh the humanity. And "if you wanna fuck with the Eagles you better learn how to fly"

[-]

delldarlin@reddit

Lick it up, baby! Lick. It. Up.

[-]

Highchest_Heavyfoot@reddit

"I LOVE MY DEAD GAY SON"

[-]

PurfuitOfHappineff@reddit

C'mon, it'll be very.

[-]

xczechr@reddit

So very.

[-]

conspicuousmatchcut@reddit

I looked like a Betty Finn and that's the reason i could sneak this classic into any junior high sleepover when I was a kid.

"Hey Heather, what happened to your urge to purge?"

"Fuck it."

[-]

OverPaper3573@reddit

So it looks like they've shot and killed but they're really just unconscious and bleeding?

[-]

jax2love@reddit

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

[-]

sane-asylum@reddit

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw

[-]

flungcow@reddit

💯

[-]

YerMan4Craic@reddit

Beat me to it. There’s no other answer.

[-]

Adorable_Bag_2611@reddit

So much of it. I blame this movie for the type of guys I dated.

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Relatable

[-]

DirtyBoots_1990@reddit

Ditto. My ex had a similar look to Christian Slater - and was a little crazy. Attractive but bad combination.

[-]

chairmanghost@reddit

What are you trying to do kill me?

What are you trying to do, sleep?

[-]

YouMustBeJoking888@reddit

Not sure it's my favorite, but 'Fuck me gently with a chainsaw' comes to mind first. Also, 'my dead gay son'

[-]

SamHandwich0@reddit

Looking for the dead son quote- also the cops finding the bottled water bit cracks me up.

Bottled water has come a long way towards mainstream acceptance since that movie.

[-]

OverPaper3573@reddit

Yeah but if you ain't holding a brewski you might as well be wearing a dress. 🤣

[-]

SouthernWalk1928@reddit

Ditto… I love my dead gay son rocked in the movie theatres

[-]

FirstNoel@reddit

Greetings and Salutations...

[-]

pandemicblues@reddit

Still use it.

[-]

FirstNoel@reddit

Yep...same here.

[-]

Sean_theLeprachaun@reddit

Lick it up, baby. Lick. It. Up.

[-]

fridayimatwork@reddit

Corn nuts

[-]

Sanjomo@reddit

Well they seem to have an open door policy for assholes.

[-]

Sanjomo@reddit

CORN NUTS!!! BQ or regular?

BQ!

[-]

flungcow@reddit

💯

[-]

Timely-Tourist4109@reddit

Corn nuts!

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Drain cleaner!

[-]

SquirrelFun1587@reddit

This is my favorite too

[-]

scottwricketts@reddit

"I prayed for the death of Heather Chandler many times, and I felt bad every time I did it, but I kept doing it anyway. Now I know you understood everything. Praise Jesus, Hallelujah!"

[-]

OreoSpeedwaggon@reddit

Chaos is great. Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs.

[-]

murrayzhang@reddit

Why do I smoke these things?

Cause you’re an idiot.

Oh yeah…

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Huh, I always remembered it as reading spy thrillers?

[-]

Sockm0nkey@reddit

It was a scripted exchange. They said the same thing to each other a few times in the film. The mom would usually chime in with, “you two…”

Thats what makes the “Little Miss Voice of a Generation…” tirade so awesomely jarring. It’s the only time she utters anything worth saying in the entire film. Then she quickly retreats to the safety of the familiar, “Pâté?” afterward.

[-]

Piscivore_67@reddit

He says that in another iteration of that conversation.

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Oh yeah I remember

[-]

thelaceserpent@reddit

There were multiple times they had basically the same conversation.

[-]

Stardro@reddit

Chaos is what killed the dinosaurs. I use it way more than I should be allowed to.

[-]

True_Carpenter_6484@reddit

When Little finger said “Chaos is a ladder!” In GOT I thought of this quote.

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Chaos is great!

[-]

middlingachiever@reddit

Great pate but, I gotta motor

[-]

True_Carpenter_6484@reddit

I literally say some of these still on the regular.

[-]

Downtown_Anteater_38@reddit

Did you have a brain tumor for breakfast?

and

What's your damage?

[-]

AltRuralBelle@reddit

My 2 favs🤣

[-]

Barthle@reddit

"My son's a little. And I love him. I LOVE MY DEAD GAY SON!"

"I don't patronize little bunny rabbits."

[-]

Ok-Toe3535@reddit

Are you a Heather? No, I’m a Veronica.

Great pate’ but I gotta motor.

[-]

designsbyintegra@reddit

You’re not a rebel! You’re fucking psychotic!

Close second:

You don’t get it do you? Society nods its head at any horror the American teenager can think upon itself.

[-]

Kayleighbug@reddit

Well they, uh, seem to have an open door policy for assholes, though, don't they?

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Kurt and ram my number one enemies

[-]

JohnnieLawerence@reddit

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw

[-]

Historical_Bath_9854@reddit

I still say this😂🤣😂

[-]

jen_esse@reddit

Me too!! All the damn time!

[-]

clintfrisco@reddit

i love my dead gay son!

[-]

Rejit@reddit

“The only place different social types can genuinely get along with each other is in heaven.”

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Got no time to talk I'm a dead girl walking!!!

[-]

DoucheyMcBagBag@reddit

Get crucial!

[-]

lobstahMac@reddit

Oh you two...

[-]

Roddy_Piper2000@reddit

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw

[-]

turtle0831@reddit

Fuck me gently with a chainsaw.

[-]

strumthebuilding@reddit

https://i.redd.it/vsegl5ri1q0h1.gif

[-]

Far_Anywhere5994@reddit

The extreme always seems to make an impression.

[-]

HeavyTea@reddit

Eskimo

[-]

Rasputin1916_@reddit

Our Love is God. Let's go get a Slushie.

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Our love is god!

[-]

Iwantallthedogs74@reddit

I blame not just society, but a society that tells it's youth, that the answers can be found in the MTV video games.

[-]

Tiny-Zombie@reddit

I have two exchanges …

"Thank you, Mrs. Fleming. You call me when the shuttle lands."

Miss Fleming: “Whether or not you k!ll yourself is one of the most important decisions a teenager can make,"
Veronica: "Get a job!"

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

(its Not a party without the corn nuts!)

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Famous last words

[-]

Veronica: “Because you’re an idiot.”

Dad: “Oh yeah…”

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Maybe you should see a doctor heather?

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Haha, love those ones!

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Sorry Heather....

[-]

in-a-microbus@reddit

My favorite is "Try the red one!"

It's comedic, fatalistic, and accurate to JD's character.

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Yay! JD is the reason I love red flags/j

[-]

AtomicPantsuit@reddit

Eskimo

[-]

ExpiredHotdog@reddit

I tried to pick just one and my brain exploded.

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

Relatable

[-]

Subject-Chart7371@reddit

"Greeting and salutations", though "Well, fuck me gently with a chainsaw" runs a close second.

[-]

Moist-Falcon-2037@reddit (OP)

A classic