I can't take Software Development anymore
Posted by whinze@reddit | ExperiencedDevs | View on Reddit | 166 comments
Hello guys,
32M and 12+ yoe here.
I've been experiencing JS fatigue for a while (couldn't put a name on it until last year, but been feeling it for at least the last 5 years), trying to keep up with frameworks, concepts, endless updates, and now AI and AI workflows, System Design, side projects... it never stops.
I used to like (not love) doing what i do, even if it resulted in both excitement but extreme frustration sometimes, it was manageable.
Lately though, i've been mostly feeling frustration and a deep sense of losing control.
AI was very exciting at first, it felt like the frustration part was mostly gone (excepted when the "fix bug" loop didn't do the job). But now it's like everything i do is reading code and test the app.
I don't know if i can keep up, yet dev is the only marketable skill i've ever had.
I feel deeply disconnected from myself and from the world, from the industry too, i have constant FOMO and i have lost the sparkle for a while.
Have you guys been experiencing the same kind of issue? How did you get out of it? Or if you are still in it, how are you coping?
CrewMember777@reddit
I'm sorry you are going through this, but I'm glad to read it because it makes me feel like I'm not at all alone in the same feeling/sentiment. I'm SO tired dude. I think I'm gonna take a break. The current pace is just nuts and AI has made a lot of things worse. It is hard to connect to something when it has shifted to being so superficial. Hang in there. Best of luck!
whinze@reddit (OP)
The feels, best of luck to you too and i'm honestly relieved that maybe all this had you realize you need a break too
_MrsBrightside_@reddit
Do you have enough savings if things go wrong? Like layoff or whatever. If so, try and remember you’ll have some time to try and learn whatever new shiny thing is in when that happens. It can help with the stress. We sometimes feel we don’t have time and are exhausted when we also work so it’s good to tell your brain “hey we are okay”.
If you don’t have enough then that stress might make you feel like you need to learn everything possible to secure employment. This is the boat I’m in 😂 but instead of overwhelming myself I’m giving myself 2 hours a day at work to learn what’s on my list. Do make a list of what you value and don’t change it, also get off dev social media for a bit.
whinze@reddit (OP)
I used to have it, and on this period i felt indeed relieved seeing this constantly clear way out
Last year i had a huge financial leak due to home acquisition + renovation and it accelerated the entropy about my mental state. I have not financially recovered from it yet, but i wish i was in a better situation right now. We are indeed in the same boat, huge feels!
I try to stay away from dev social media since reading your thoughtful answers, not easy because the algorithm has pretty much stuffed my nose in it
n3phtys@reddit
very important.
Software developers, even outside the big corps, earn good money. Be able to survive 6 months without a job. If you cannot do so, solve your issues in this regard first.
Even better once you have enough on the side that you can say 'no' to 'promotions'. That's freedom.
vladlearns@reddit
take a break, relax, then find a topic you really love and try to apply AI workflows and system design, whatever you struggle w/ to that, then it will be easier for you to do it commercially
goofysnorkles@reddit
Second the advice to take it easy. If I may ask - what part ever made it fun? Solving a real problem, talking to people, elegant solutions or something else?
I would just try to do that if I had the choice.
whinze@reddit (OP)
What i liked the most was seeing the "wow" faces on the people i work with. UX designers, stakeholders and the product team etc.
Frontend used to be impressive and visual, and now AI just sucked the magic out of people's ability to wonder
goofysnorkles@reddit
Wow due to the UX? As in the interactions you designed and coded yourself? Because if there's one thing I dislike about AI it's the sameness of the UX.. maybe you could focus on the design?
whinze@reddit (OP)
Yes, due to UX/UI, animations and general look and feel
I'd love it actually, but i believe companies would never recruit a dev who's only doing design things
ObsidianGanthet@reddit
I have 7 years of experience with frontend and I understand you completely. I just wish I'd started earlier and had more fun times before it all went to hell
DardanGameDev@reddit
Not OP but for me we went from “oh I fixed this and it’s working” dopamine to basically having AI do 90% of the work and us being more like testers.
Unv-432-369@reddit
You're in a burnout phase. Escape to nature.
The race will keep going on forever.
Don't multi-task. Go in-depth in one area and keep the fundamentals sharp.
Agile, Sprints are designed to manufacture rats and goldfish — Our brain is not designed by nature to continuously multi-task.
Employer, customer does not care about your health.
— I should have realized this and taken action upon. You should too.
I always hated JS because it's like a wild jungle when compared to other programming languages such as Java which is more civilized. Full-stack is bad for our brain and good for the employers.
I know some people who are cruising through their career and always stayed with a confined set of tech. For e.g. Java, C++ and Data Domain. On the other hand, I did full-stack and shot myself in the feet.
whinze@reddit (OP)
You're absolutely right. Last year i've been wanting to switch to Java in order to be able to grow from a more stable soil. Always hated Agile, but i guess most of us do. And you're right about the fact that the industry had us normalizing the full-stack path, alienating ourselves.
I can't agree more
zhezhijian@reddit
Since you're a FE guy, what if you learned TypeScript and wormed your way into the back-end from there?
whinze@reddit (OP)
I second u/Throwaway__shmoe, it's still JS unfortunately, with the perpetual shifting tooling that comes with it
Throwaway__shmoe@reddit
It’s still fundamentally JS at the end of the day. For me, not speaking for anyone else, it’s not just the footguns built into the JS syntax that make me dislike it, it’s the entire ethos around its ecosystem in which Typescript very much is a part of.
human_boulder@reddit
I feel exactly the same. We are almost the same age and same years of experience. I tried taking a break from everything for a couple of months and it worked for sometime and I am now back to how I felt now that I started working again.
This endless FOMO is eating me alive. I spent the entire last weekend trying out various terminal editors because of FOMO. And once I am back to work on Monday, I completely deleted every config I created because it didn't fit my flow. I don't know what's happening to me. I even tried therapy for a bit and I am not a talkitive person at all.
whinze@reddit (OP)
I relate so much, down to the personality. i used to take 2-6 months breaks between jobs to reset the machine but eventually it always catches up with me when returning to work.
Southern_0301@reddit
Are you in USA ? How do you get next opportunity after gaps like 6 months?
whinze@reddit (OP)
No i'm based in France, i switched to being a contractor and i always justify the gaps with side projects, travel, etc.
Now that i think about it i never fully got away from dev even when having a long break.
bluetista1988@reddit
The FOMO never goes away because there's always some revolutionary paradigm-shifting new technology that comes around.
My survival strategy has been to maintain "article-level competence" (IE read 1-2 articles about it to understand the use case and how it works) about the hot shiny new thing that comes around, let the hype cycle play out if I don't need to interact with it, and then pick it up later if it sticks and I end up needing it.
I'm much happier this way. I don't need to be on the bleeding edge of every shiny new technology and I certainly don't need to be a social media thought influencer beating the drum about how ~~microservices~~ ~~nosql~~ ~~serverless~~ ~~graphql~~ ~~nodejs~~ ~~blockchain~~ some tech is going to render all previous methods and alternatives obsolete.
BusinessWatercrees58@reddit
Therapy is more about thinking than about talking. Talking is really just how you communicate with your therapist so they can tell you what you think about, but most of the work is thinking, not talking.
Not sure why this feels similar to the AI coding discussion but yeah.
Ashken@reddit
Stick with therapy yo, it’s been helping me a lot. If you’re not comfortable talking to your therapist there’s nothing wrong with finding a new one.
WillingnessFresh3194@reddit
If you have a startup dev job or I assume you are the cofounder of that startup, maybe focusing on that solely will change your perspective? I mean, company policies and mostly “work” pattern is exhausting whether you are in the creative side or the “endless bug fixing side”.
For me I get tired of endless instructions from other members whether the product manager/analyst or other devs I work with. I sometimes feel like I am becoming the AI instead of AI working for me. I shift my focus sometimes in my free hours in my side projects where I can feel I am alive, because why not? It is my design, my way of coding, and my product. And then when fire has bit lit again, I can go back anytime to the company work with a better perspective, or let’s say a hard reset.
sagarcastic@reddit
This seems like burnout, may be start taking interest in business side of things, understand why you are doing what you are doing. That helps to see beyond immediate/ day to day challenges and gives long term perspective.
valkon_gr@reddit
No advice from me, feeling the same. There is no way I am doing this for 25-30 years. It's not that I will quit, it's that I will go insane or crash and burn one random Wednesday. AI, Agile, Sprints, meetings, fomo with the new shiny thing. It's too much, feels like my brains is split into 10 pieces or something.
Izkata@reddit
I was feeling similarly to this around my 4-year and 8-year marks. I had a suspicion about it both times and I'm pretty sure in my case it was right: Visionless product owners. A couple years into each of those teams we started just redoing the same things over and over because we still had development resources to use but they had no idea what they wanted to do. On top of that, once or twice I had a suggestion for a new visual to help understanding some data, which no one liked, then months later the designer "came up with" the same thing and they loved it.
After that I moved to a maintenance team (to the surprise of my manager who didn't understand why I'd want that instead of new development) that didn't have a product owner or designer, we were entirely self-driven and knew anything we touched had direct positive impact. It's been about 7 years and that's only starting to happen again because of how my skip-manager is pushing AI.
Additional_Rub_7355@reddit
For me it's more that I don't know how to keep up to date with all the things we are expected to know.
mq2thez@reddit
You’re burned out.
Stop chasing the hype. No more side projects. No work outside of working hours. Don’t push the limits during work. Just do your job well enough and be done.
whinze@reddit (OP)
This actually hits hard. Thank you.
I can't help but fear obsolescence. If I stop trying to keep up, will I still be employable in 2 years? AI is moving fast enough that "doing my job well" might look completely different soon, and I genuinely don't know where the line is between a healthy step back and falling dangerously behind.
I feel trapped in the side project, we're at the launching phase, dev is "done" and we've opened a start-up with an excellent ex colleague. I don't know how to handle this
stingraycharles@reddit
Yes, you will still be employable. You're currently having a distorted view, which is common in people that are overworked: "I need to work even more / harder, that will solve my issues!"
Been there, done that. I'm 43YO, and I actually took a 2 year break around 31-33. I went to South East Asia. After a few months of volunteering, I started feeling energetic, passionate about programming again and dove deep into side projects and whatnot.
And when I returned two years later, I was very much empoyable.
kayGrim@reddit
I want to preface this by saying, that I think your core point is definitely true. Working hard gets rewarded with hard work in my experience.
However, I do not think the current market is the same one it was 10 years ago when you took that sabbatical. Layoffs are happening more and more frequently, toolings are getting more complex and changing faster than they ever have. One product I work with did more updates in 2025 than they had altogether over the previous 9 years! The issue is that no single person can possibly keep up with it, but that paradigm is new to our industry and so developers (and their managers) haven't adapted to it yet.
All that to say I am in a very similar mental state to the OP for very similar reasons.
UntestedMethod@reddit
Same. I am basically looking for my way "out" if the industry. 40 and been doing software my whole life. At this point I'm basically looking for the right entrypoint into a trade or entrepreneurial endeavor, meanwhile preparing financially, lifestyle, and any other way I can to smooth the transition.
LobsterAlpha@reddit
I agree that this is not a good time to be leaving the workforce, lots of change, AI, layoffs. But i think that is a risk to be weighed against continuing to work while burnt out and mounting stress and frustration that could lead to an eventual crash.
I think devs should put their health first. it's worth the risk
CurrentlyAdulting@reddit
Thanks for the perspective — this is why seniors are so critical.
RoyDadgumWilliams@reddit
That’s not a side project bro, you have 2 jobs
ItSeemedSoEasy@reddit
I started out in asp. Like the original Active Server Pages written in Visual Basic, the company stuck with it for a couple more years until they finally migrated to C#. I got offers for jobs for years because I'd left it on my CV. I worked somewhere for a year that had VB.Net with webforms that I gradually migrated to C# and asp.net MVC. I got offers to migrate VB.Net code to C# code for almost 10 years after that.
I met a guy at the start of my career who was making bank programming COBOL. I thought he was a fool. There are still people making bank programming in COBOL 20 years later, and they make more money than me.
The industry does not actually move as fast as you think it does. The pressure to publish new stuff, release new blogs, make new frameworks, is not a reflection of how businesses actually use programming languages.
Until all the job postings for you have converged on a tech, you don't need to know that tech. 15 years ago, for FE, that was jQuery. A few years later you could still get away with jQuery, but maybe know one of Angular or React. Then a few years after that, it was clear React was the winner.
Right now, today, 8 years later, if you still just knew React you'd be fine.
Unhappy-Ladder-4594@reddit
Focus on solving problems, not on coding itself. Coding is a means to solving problems. AI is not full-on solving anyone's problems all on its own, despite hype to the contrary. Problem-solvers are still very much in demand.
abrandis@reddit
Your issuing isnt just burn 🔥 out, it's adjustingthe new reality in the software dev world , hand coding doesn't matter anymore, deep knowledge of languages, frameworks ,api, devops isn't what sets you apart, the value of that knowledge has dropped a lot .. I know I'll get a lot of hate from devs here , but it's the underlying reality .. AI will generate 95%+ of the code and your job isn't to re-write it , it's to fix any major bugs that the AI slop creates...
I get why devs, musicians, artists all pooh pooh AI systems, because what made them "artisans " was knowing the intricacies of making good art and taking pride and understanding how much work it takes to reach a specific level of competence, knowing the details and putting them together was what made you valuable, that no longer matters . The details are now machine generated ..
your value if you still want to have one is figuring out how be the one to guide the machine and be able to fix its slop when it make an error .
FlowOfAir@reddit
I haven't tried to keep up in my career. Never once I questioned myself about being employable. Most I spent unemployed were 3 months, I'm on the ballpark of 8 yoe.
whinze@reddit (OP)
What's your stack? Are you enjoying what you do and are you excited about improving your skills for the sake of improving your skills? (i mean as "i like what i do and i don't consider documenting myself about it like a chore")
FlowOfAir@reddit
My stack is whatever my employer needs out of me. If it's a wholly new stack I'll spend a few days learning the basics, then everything else I learn in the job. I hardly if at all learn outside work. This way I've used all sorts of stuff including Java, C#, Rust, Python, etc.
If I don't need it at my work, I don't even look at it period. Tech is always going to grow and evolve and it's always going to be different year by year in ways it's unreasonable that you will learn it all. Stick to the basics and you'll be golden regardless of the specific tool. AI even makes it better to navigate unknown codebases and learn languages you never touched in the past.
whinze@reddit (OP)
How would you define the basics?
FlowOfAir@reddit
Think about this for a little. Tech changes a lot, year by year. Tell me now, what does NOT change? Since this seems framed as an absolute I'll give you a little bit of leeway: what in tech has stayed constant over several years? I'm talking at least 10-20 years, the longer the better. If something is long-lived, then it must be worth something, right?
I have a few things in mind but I want to see your mindset on this.
whinze@reddit (OP)
Tech-wise I'd say algorithms, design patterns and system design? Also deployments, monitoring etc.
It's hard to say, a lot of concepts are constantly improving with new tools, new architectures, new ways. And these "old" ways would typically be easily compensated by AI
But company-wise mostly people skills
FlowOfAir@reddit
Brain ignored this until now, apologies. This is EXTREMELY important. All senior+ engineers I've seen are heads down working on people stuff. To me at least, technical expertise and delivery times is a non-issue, pretty much regardless of what I'm working on. I just need to navigate influence and related people skills better, and this is where I am placing my energy to grow because after a certain point you don't need more technical skills even if you haven't reached a ceiling, you need better people skills.
Case in point. My tech lead, who's a principal engineer, often asks a senior engineer (lower grade) from a different team to review his code because he's the SME on that matter. The tech lead is very skilled and pretty much my manager's right hand, but the senior engineer is calling the shots on the architecture of that system (which is developed by various teams) and the best practices.
I'm working at a very large tech company (name not to be disclosed, but rest assured you have used our products), and a lot of very skilled people work here. So I know I'm not making this up.
FlowOfAir@reddit
Correct! Those things are the things that will ALWAYS carry you. New tools, architectures, ways... Don't get too enthralled on those. Did you know microservices was the latest hot thing years ago and companies are now recanting because it's hell to maintain over large monorepos? Microservices have their place, but it's not a thing most companies should care about.
In terms of tech: SQL, HTML + Javascript, at least one or two backend languages that are widely used. If you need to stay up to date, look at the market and make sure you're up to date on the highest sought skills. Don't dive deep into niches or try to beat the market by guessing the next hot thing - you don't have the resources to make experiments, that's a thing you only do when resources are plenty (such as big tech), and you're clearly not in that position. You're burnt out, meaning your energy tanks are depleted and you seriously need to backtrack. That pacing is not sustainable and the thing that matters the most, you, will end up in a position worse than not knowing the next hot thing.
floobie@reddit
This is the approach I’ve been taking. I’ve been more or less in .NET/React for my career so far, but there’s always been some random internal tooling or legacy code that’s required me to go beyond that (Python always shows up, VB is inevitable), and I ended up using like another 5 languages on top of this stuff at school (I took electrical engineering, though).
My point: You learn what all languages do, make note of important differences as you go, and learn the specific frameworks well enough to do your job well. Becoming a total wizard at any particular framework, IMO, is increasingly pointless. This is where AI tools are truly increasingly good at filling in the gaps. If I know what I want to do and why I want to do it, but I don’t know the exact syntax or conventions in whatever framework or language I’m using, I’ll get some help from the AI.
IMO, now is the time to focus more on thinking architecturally and focusing on design patterns, how things will be deployed, etc. If AI can barf out the nitty gritty, this kind of skillset will mean a lot more going forward.
The best part: These skills can largely be learned on the job. They come through experience and being generally observant. You can supplement as needed outside of work, but I’d argue that really doesn’t need to be “omg I don’t know every new JS framework I need to learn them all ahhhhhh!!!!!”
Make sure you’re learning the right stuff on the job so you don’t have to outside of the job. And, even if you’re working on boring crap for a while, literally just reading through code as you work and working your pattern recognition muscles a bit is still learning.
RandyHoward@reddit
Same, and I'm going on 25 yoe. I keep up with the things I need in my daily job. I also make sure I'm aware of the technologies available in the market, but I don't learn them deeply. Just enough to understand the basics of how it works and why it might be used. When I get into a role that requires a technology I've never used, then I learn it deeply.
Oakw00dy@reddit
My advice: Quit trying to learn every new library or framework. The landscape is changing, in where knowing how to use a particular tool is lot less important than knowing when to use a particular tool. Software development will be a lot less straight up coding and a lot more being able to understand the business and the domain, and then applying the best practices and technologies to bring value.
zrail@reddit
That's kind of the thing, though. In a business context software development has always been about deeply understanding the business and domain and applying technology to bring value. For a lovely period of time we could also incorporate a bit of artistry and artisanship to the work, which are the things that many of us find most enjoyable.
The frontier labs and data centers everywhere may crash and burn but the technology itself isn't going anywhere. If we as a profession want to survive we need to either guide the business toward appropriate usage of the tools, or we need to come to terms with being a blue collar profession and embrace collective action.
Oakw00dy@reddit
Well said.
U4-EA@reddit
And watch your lifestyle. Your stress tolerance is MASSIVELY affected by both sleep and diet. If you eat a clean diet and and get a full night's sleep every night, the difference is absolutely profound - you can wake up in the morning with the same head you went to sleep with or you can wake up in the morning with a recharged brain. Don't drink caffeine within at least 6 hours of bedtime and don't drink any fluids within at least 3 hours (so you get uninterrupted sleep i.e. you don't need to pee during the night).
mq2thez@reddit
You’re being paid to do it right now. That’s fine. Just… learn during working hours. Take it easier on yourself.
ai_senior@reddit
Is this all written by AI?
“This hits hard.”
whinze@reddit (OP)
I tried to formulate it in my native language and couldn't find a way to express this feeling in idiomatic english ("ça me met une gifle")
But no, except for tiny parts about grammar or idioms, human here
derrikcurran@reddit
I see nothing wrong with your writing, including "This hits hard", which I've heard plenty of human beings say. People are just twitchy about AI right now.
ithinkilefttheovenon@reddit
Counterpoint: AI is moving so fast that the skills we need keep changing. The skills we learn today will be obsolete in 3 months. I could put lots of time in to learn every new method and process, even the ones that turn out to be fads, or I could sit back and wait for things to settle down, and then learn the skills that stayed relevant. I’m a fast learner so I’m not worried about falling behind. I know I’ll be able to pick up the necessary skills when I need them.
Stock-Contribution-6@reddit
If it makes you feel better, you might not be employable even with keeping up. The job market is just shit and if you demand fair pay you're out of the companies' budget
ericmutta@reddit
The day a person understands why this is good advice is the day they become a software engineer in every sense of the word. Knowing when to stop is how you code for decades (27 YOE in my case) without stopping permanently.
mq2thez@reddit
I’m 16 years into what’s probably going to be a 40+ year career. I do good work and I work hard when it’s needed, but this is a marathon, not a sprint. Gotta work at a sustainable pace for the long term, not sacrifice my life right now.
ericmutta@reddit
Well said. It is especially important to watch your health. We obsess over code and often don't want to eat or sleep until "it's done". Sometimes you have no choice and have to put in the hard work, but it's always worth remembering nobody failed in life by being healthy. Eat. Sleep. Code. Repeat until the whole world knows your name!
nvictor-me@reddit
This is solid advice. If you fear obsolescence you can mentor young people who are still in college, they’ll keep you updated.
Wonderful_Trainer412@reddit
Very useful advice
evilmint@reddit
I did more than well enough and got hit by a layoff wave either way. Either you keep up or you get laid off.
UnderstandingDry1256@reddit
"You need to work less" is the shittiest advice ever.
You're tanking your market value
You're paving the road to be replaced by ai or just someone better
It simply does not work if you have bills to pay
Find something you love and find the way to do it for good pay - this is the only solution.
FlowOfAir@reddit
Said by a tech bro who has no personality outside their job.
whinze@reddit (OP)
Actually i can relate to what he said, but i don't know if it's just confirmation bias because of what i'm going through right now, or if it's a cold sociologic point of view
FlowOfAir@reddit
I'll say the former. He sounds like the sort of tech bros who will make sure the market is as shitty as it is so people like you will push themselves to burnout just to keep these assholes happy.
UnderstandingDry1256@reddit
Perfect! I'll take that as praise for doing a good job, haha.
No respect for folks who are doing just "well enough" without pushing beyond that. Disposable material.
FlowOfAir@reddit
No respect for people who have no personality outside their jobs. Soulless trash.
UnderstandingDry1256@reddit
You said that haha. Excellent engineers are also fun to deal with most of the time. Boring people are also mediocre at work.
FlowOfAir@reddit
Good golly, guess I'm an excellent engineer, then! I'm just not fun to deal with if you're an asshole, I'm otherwise pretty fun to be around.
And if you're not finding me fun to be with, guess what, you might be in fact an asshole.
void-wanderer-@reddit
Talking about a human being as "disposable material" is disgusting.
whinze@reddit (OP)
Okay i got you, i've just seen his answer
whinze@reddit (OP)
Okay i got you, i've just seen his answer.
UnderstandingDry1256@reddit
chatgpt said once - in order to be successful, you need to stay focused for much longer than most people find comfortable.
Perfectly said, but you need to find the niche you actually love.
Like, with AI stuff it is kinda easier to impress people with what you are going, but you need to be consistent to make it stable and production ready.
yxhuvud@reddit
No. Work smarter, not harder. That is just as true now as it ever has been.
UnderstandingDry1256@reddit
Agree. Though it takes lots of effort to setup the smart way.
There are no shortcuts.
jayjonas1996@reddit
But then folks churning tickets through slop AI will get all the recognition and I’ll be forgotten because AI write detailed PR descriptions and reviews
Windyvale@reddit
Oh did companies start rewarding performance again? I wasn’t aware.
zrail@reddit
The reward for performance is you get to keep receiving a paycheck.
Windyvale@reddit
Funny, that’s not the impression I get when they get laid off anyways.
jayjonas1996@reddit
Ding ding ding
Frequent_Bag9260@reddit
Um, you clearly haven’t seen the job market
Ashken@reddit
Dammit man, I can only take so much disillusionment in one thread!
Outside-Storage-1523@reddit
(Not OP but have exactly the same thoughts. I even stopped all of my side projects) I agree with this. However I also found that what is really tough is what to do when I'm "done".
My brain still needs somehow to satisfy its creative crush. This is even more urgent because now I get negative satisfaction from my work so I need more satisfaction from life outside work to just feel OK. It's kinda difficult to do that without any side projects. But drilling into any creative hobby while working turns me back on the road of burnout very quickly. I have family and kid but I don't get much satisfaction from there, unfortunately. I'm just not that type of person who enjoys family life. Everything that I enjoy requires certain level of mental capacity -- I can't simply sit down, watch a show -- I need to do something creative, to achieve something, to figure out something, anything.
As a side note to the first point -- I started enjoy programming after a few days of vacation. Actually I'm nagging to go back to some low level programming projects (the one I enjoyed). The problem is, whenever I went back to work, even just a day of work, the burnout came back. I genuinely hate my work so much that I told that to all of my team members except my manager. I don't care. I just need the $$$. If there is a way to just do nothing in my work but still get the $$$, you bet I'll be there in a second.
So I think I'm now in a dead corner. I can't quit my job. I can't quit my family. Everything is dreadful. All problems are fundamental so therapy probably doesn't work (like, it might make me feel a little better for a little while, but I don't need therapy for that).
God, I need to grit through another 15 years, until my kid goes to college and I can finally rest. I don't know whether I will have ANY mental capacity to do ANYTHING then.
Strangely, I'm actually not that depressed. I never thought about suicide or hurting anyone including myself. It's just the drag.
mq2thez@reddit
Friend, some therapy would likely be really helpful. I have a young kid at home too, and therapy gave me some of the tools I needed to be a lot more present and enjoy the moments.
Like me, though, it sounds like you get “the itch” — that need to feel like you’re using or exhausting your brain. Passive consumption of content just doesn’t do it, I have to be engaging with it.
For that, I have a lot of hobbies, and rotate them. I build Gundams when I get the itch to do stuff with my hands. I play a few different genres of videos games when I get the itch to dissociate or get in flow or grind or just get a good story. I do photography when I get the itch to create things, or when I don’t feel like I can handle the world around me but I have to be in it anyways. I wake up early a few days a week and exercise hard, which also helps a lot with the itch.
From experience earned doing things the hard way: I essentially never scratch the itch by programming anymore. It’s always the road to burnout. I’ve done some brief experimentation with AI on weekends, but only with specific, small goals (ex: write a skill to read JPRG guides for me and create TODO lists so I can do everything without reading spoiler-filled guides). I only do this stuff when work is really slow, though, because it takes away from my ability to do my work at full throttle.
Outside-Storage-1523@reddit
Thanks. I think right now the most important thing for me is to find ways to enjoy myself without going into any programming gig, as you said they will bring back burnout eventually.
I’ll see what I can do. Thanks!
mq2thez@reddit
One of the most helpful things a therapist has done for me was point out that the way I do my hobbies is pretty similar to how I do my work. The trick is to keep things similar but not the same, so that I can find the things my work isn’t doing for me and have a good venue to scratch those itches without exhausting the part of my brain that’s tired from doing all of the work stuff I don’t actually enjoy (but have to do).
big-papito@reddit
To me, working on side projects excites me about building and makes drudgery at work tolerate. This is how I also experiment and learn new things. That said - one has to pace themselves.
mq2thez@reddit
Yeah, fair play. I used to be like that early in my career, but now side projects just add to the burnout.
devonthego@reddit
I feel you, it happened to me a few times during my career. I'm 41yo and have been in the industry for 21 years (yes, in case you'd ask, I joined the workforce since I was 20).
As someone has mentioned, you're having burnout. But please don't confuse it with overwork. Working too hard is not causing burnout, it has something to do with your career path and your expectation from work has changed. You want to progress further, but your current job makes your feel stuck. It's a big sign that your job is not aligning with your career goal, so all of your efforts feel like they're not worth it anymore, even they were fine before. Everything you do now as a daily routine is meaningless, which makes every little thing feel harder than they should.
My advice is to take a break (as long as you can), and don't touch computers while you're on vacation (or use computers for something that is not work-related, but avoid it as much as possible).
Or you can go out more, meet people, talk about life, volunteer and help your local community, teach programming to kids in your neighborhood, or online, or something you feel your skills are valuable to your community, but trust me, being good with computers is a very valuable skill, let alone program it, don't doubt yourself.
FudFomo@reddit
JS was the worst part of my job but now I just have Copilot work on those SPA shitshows. AI has extended my career because I was about to hang it up because my days were spent maintaining Angular and React legacy apps with tons of code debt. Treat AI like a tool to leverage up your productivity and value as a dev.
cosmopoof@reddit
I had that feeling sometime about 20 years ago. Tried to move away from development. Noticed that the grass isn't greener on the other side. The perspective helped me understand that I love software engineering after all.
whinze@reddit (OP)
Your answer deeply helps, thank you. Radically changing careers is something I've been fantasizing about for a while, but I've always wondered if I'd just be running away from something that would follow me anywhere. Hearing that the grass isn't greener from someone who actually tried it means a lot.
slickvic33@reddit
I came from healthcare, its definitely not greener. I love my tech job where i get paid more, can use the bathroom whenever, am respected, dont touch human poop
lunacraz@reddit
i actually came from another industry before swapping into development (finance specifically)
and that perspective has made me enjoy my current career way more
slickvic33@reddit
Be a product manager, be a people manager, try sre, try dev ops, try backend development, try another language?
WhenSummerIsGone@reddit
do something creative that isn't analytical. I've been experimenting with abstract art of various kinds, and it's great: watercolor, zentangle, free jazz. Even cooking can be creative and relaxing, with the stereo on. I've been learning to grill, lol.
Manfluencer10kultra@reddit
Herding some goats somewhere seems more appealing every day.
bdanmo@reddit
Yes, I’ve been experiencing that and it has nothing to do with JS for me. I do platform stuff so it’s similar with the new tooling and flux all the time. That losing control and frustration is a universal thing regardless of tech stack. Shit is bad right now and you know it intuitively before you can name it intelligibly. A lot of people around me have been laid off; I am the only person left reporting to my manager. 4x the scope, same pay, because AI. Markets are out of control; I am trying to find a used car because my wife’s bit the dust, and they are all hot garbage below $20k. And just the bare fact that I am a senior/principal at a mid-sized firm, yet I need to bust my ass trying to find a useable car for dirt cheap because it’s all I can afford (with a small family and small house) since everything is so expensive now. It’s not just work that’s got me burned out, but the fact that my salary is affording me a life feeling as dead broke as I was in college because prices are skyrocketing all around. Everything is terrible.
sippin-jesus-juice@reddit
Same, but I burnt out years ago when small companies started to copy FAANG interviews. It was easier for me to get a Senior Engineer role at Apple at 21, than it is to get into a no name, low pay role at 26.
Once you do land a role, it doesn't matter. You still need to grind leetcode, learn new tools and constantly upskill while shipping features at work.
I know our job is cushy, but the constant layoffs, endless interviews, salary fluctuations it's all just too much. I'm autistic and ups and downs have taken a toll on me. At this point, I'm probably switching to a trade or labor work.
PackageMedical3916@reddit
I hear you on the AI part. Transitioning from 'creating' to just 'reviewing and testing' AI-generated code feels like losing the soul of the craft. Many experienced devs are moving towards deep architecture or infrastructure projects where AI still struggles and actual human logic is the only thing that matters. Maybe it's time to stop keeping up with everything and just master one deep, complex problem?
authentic_developer@reddit
12 years of JS fatigue and now AI on top of it sounds less like burnout and more like the absence of any single thing you've been allowed to go deep on. The treadmill rewards staying shallow across 15 frameworks, and AI has added a new shallow layer where you're now a code-review-and-test loop for code you didn't write.
The fix that's worked for me is picking one thing you'd be okay being the person on for the next three years (a specific domain, not a framework), and giving yourself permission to actively ignore the rest of the FOMO. Boring, but the FOMO is the bleed, not the work.
EddieJ@reddit
I'm someone who was previously a solid frontend that feels like I'm losing it to this shallow AI layer. How can this advice actually apply to the job hunt, where every damn employer now expects a full stack? I would much prefer to specialize in JS/CSS (just look at all the others in this thread that prefer the opposite). Where are the jobs that enable this?
snam13@reddit
I don’t think they are saying specialize in frontend or backend. That is too broad IMO, it has to be much deeper (or you could consider it more “niche”). For example, on backend, it could be optimizing redis queues or being knee deep in email sending. On frontend it could be deeply understanding loading speed and animations to produce performant visual effects in web apps. Perhaps not the best examples but these are the type of things that human experience still beats AI at imo.
Just my interpretation. I’m on the side of taking this advice so take this for what you will.
n3phtys@reddit
Most office jobs come with burnout, and things like Agile or meaningless tech changes (looking at you, JS ecosystem) or AI slopification increase burnout. Burnout comes primarily from doing something that you do not think brings fulfillment or value.
There are jobs where 60 hours are easy, and jobs where 20 hours of boredom will make you burnout faster than you may think. Burnout also is not a weakness of character, that's the problem. We try to work against it, but that strengthens it. Do not push through, take some days off, go on vacations. Go 3 days without smartphone or anything with a keyboard. It really helps if it's only beginning to get worse.
One big problem with software developers is that senior / lead developers have the big skill (if they're any good) of foreseeing consequences and managing complexity. Things like AI seem to be solving many issues. Non-developers think they can become important enough not to be replaced while the AI will surely be perfected in a few months or years. The majority of non-invested software developers hopefully knows better - Claude will not become better faster than the slop the current models generate in unseen numbers. If you're a good developer who knows the basics you won't be replaced in the long term, the only thing that might happen is your company going bankrupt because of AI hype failing to deliver.
From my personal experience, nothing is better against burnout than learning basics (go read a book about algorithms for fucks sake, or let ChatGPT quiz you about them), managing your health and fitness, and taking vacations of some form BEFORE you need them.
A vacation doesn't need to be chilling on a beach or whatnot. Hell, you might also enjoy doing something else. Or maybe learn about a different niche of Software Development? Just don't take game development, that's going to kill your enthusiasm pretty fast.
throwaway_0x90@reddit
Indeed, there's no easy answer.
AI is redefining what it means to be a SWE and the bitter truth is that the new SWE definition will not be a match for 100% of the previously-defined SWEs.
Better_Lift_Cliff@reddit
My main issue is that I don't know wtf else I could be hired for.
throwaway_0x90@reddit
same here if I'm not a Test Engineer/SDET then I give up. I'll just work in retail or fast food for minimum wage. I'm not capable of any other high paying career.
Better_Lift_Cliff@reddit
Bartending seems kinda fun
throwaway_0x90@reddit
true, at least you get to hear some interesting stories!
sot-programmer@reddit
This feeling of being overwhelmed and losing the spark is incredibly common, especially with 12+ years of experience and the constant tech shifts. It's easy to feel burnt out trying to keep up.\n\nFocusing on sustainable pace and protecting your mental space is key. Maybe explore:\n\n Deep Work Blocks: Schedule uninterrupted time for focus, minimizing context switching.\n Skill Niche Down: Instead of keeping up with everything, specialize deeply in what genuinely excites you.\n Disconnect Regularly:* Intentional breaks and disconnecting from tech are vital for refreshing your perspective.\n\nIt's a marathon, not a sprint, and your well-being comes first. Hang in there.
Better_Lift_Cliff@reddit
I feel this. I always just "liked" software engineering and was never a huge computer guy outside of work. My enthusiasm has plummeted over the last couple of years as AI has taken hold.
I thought that switching from a soulless corporate role to a more "ethical" startup would fix my problems. And it did help somewhat. But only a little. I still feel the same fundamentally.
If money weren't an object I'd be a wildlife biologist or a chef.
Terminal_Monk@reddit
I was and still a very passionate person towards tech and programming. Everytime I build something I genuinely am happy that I solved a problem. I'm 34 now and almost 11 years experienced.
What helped me is that developing this maturity that no matter how passionate you are about something, if it becomes work, you will come across phases where you absolutely hate it. It's part of what work is.
To compensate this, I was doing side projects but the side projects also scope creeped and burned me out.
I think what truly helped me is to have this sense of detachment from work. I go to work do exactly what was expected from my role, and to do that I am willing to wear all sorts of clown makeup and dance on top of donkey.
When the workday is done, I detach myself completely from work. I don't think much about work. There are a variety of things you can do. And this also changes from time to time. I was and still am a gamer. So I play games. I got into simracing a couple of years ago so doing that gave me something new to learn that is not again something in tech. I do some 3d printing from time to time.
Spending time with my family, and recently I've also started travelling.
TL;DR; do not seek passion or beauty in work. Do not seek peace in work. Work is work. U just do it for paying the bills. Also develop a hobby that's unrelated to coding to get your mind off it.
And also if the current company's pace is too much, maybe try a different company
thodgson@reddit
I've been at this for a very long time and what you are feeling is burnout. Take a break.
Ok-Shower6174@reddit
Unpopular opinion: The reason you’re miserable is that you’re still trying to be a 'Software Engineer' in an era where that role is being commoditized into oblivion.
I’m a mid-level dev in safety-critical systems, and I realized early on that if your value is tied to writing code, you’re on a terminal treadmill. The 'sparkle' isn't gone; it just moved.
Stop chasing the 'new' and start chasing the 'critical.' Move to a sector where 'boring and stable' is a feature, not a bug. You'll find that having control over a system is way more satisfying than having control over a syntax.
Additional_Rub_7355@reddit
I just hate jobs and i want to enjoy programming on my own. That's my problem, making it a profession was wrong, it sucks. Although most jobs suck tbf.
Messibo_@reddit
I used to love programming until it started paying my bills. Now I just want to live in the woods and never write code again lmao
Some_Guy_87@reddit
I feel very similar as an Android dev with 11 years of experience (plus university, so technically 16 years of software engineering life).
There was always a certain magic to creating something in software engineering for me, and therefore I often had side projects that I was passionate about - making games in 2D and 3D, doing web-based stuff, exploring the power of python for automating certain things, etc.. This all vanished in recent years and I was only able to occasionally get excited about work when reading books that gave me ideas to try some process improvements etc..
Now that I am out of my current job very soon and will have to look for something new, I noticed how bad things really are. It's not really about having fun anymore, it's about "acting your experience". I feel like there is an unconquerable amount of things I need to learn and master. AI workflows might be the smallest issues with how recent and fast evolving it is, but even things like deeper knowledge about programming languages, automation technology, parallel processing concepts, scalable applications, efficient database usage, you name it. Heck, I don't even know much about docker+kubernetes, good shell scripting and similar things.
I always made up for lack of knowledge and enthusiasm by doing my best and was always among the best people at my workplace, but now that the safety net is gone and I have to prove myself to others who don't know me, I noticed how much behind I actually am and how much harder it is to bridge the gap without the fire behind it. Just pushing through to reach expectations is such a different mindset than the playful "I love creating things" I used to have.
The current social media vibe is not making things better with the daily "It's all over soon, we won't get a job anymore", I'm already completely burnt out by this profession, although I only just made it through maybe 1/4 of my career. Trying to get some distance from it for now and just enjoy life while I have the chance, but there is a voice in the back of my head telling me to better get started leveling up already to get a job...
Perfect-Campaign9551@reddit
Google has kind of made android dev a pain the ass now. Back in 2009-2010 it was pretty simple.
Some_Guy_87@reddit
It feels like they re-invent things unnecessarily often times (probably because some people want to get promoted), but overall I feel like I've been rather lucky in that area compared to the standard backend engineering with its 1000 frameworks you "should know" 😅 .
mrsocks_7@reddit
What are you planning to do in your time off?
Green__Hat@reddit
From early in my career I realized that I wasn't going to be able to deal with it long term. I guess it was a blessing in disguise because it led me to discover the FIRE movement (https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/FIRE_movement) which was eventually my way out of it.
The other alternative I can think of is moving away from tech jobs. People here often say that every other possible job is going to destroy your body, but unless the only people you know out of your tech bubble are in construction or the mines, you probably know plenty of people doing all sorts of things for a living, none of which are particularly more harmful than software development (which is not without its physical issues).
The only real, objective advantage of this job over most others is the money. Everything else people claim is great (working at home, in an office, on a chair...) is mostly subjective. If you're frugal enough to live on an average salary, you can work any job you like.
You can even combine both approaches, save/invest enough to at least get to coast-fire, and then move to a lower paying job.
mrpmorris@reddit
You are trying to keep up with too many things.
I used to do the same thing about 30 years ago, but after many years I noticed that a high 90% of things I had forced myself to learn either fell out of fashion or weren't even worth learning.
I decided to ignore the newest and shiniest things. Instead I would only learn new things if they actually intrigued me or if they had been around for a few years and were starting to appear as requirements for jobs.
It was a great decision, life is so much more relaxed now. I only look for a new thing if the things I work with don't do the trick for a new requirement at work.
Perfect-Campaign9551@reddit
If we can't even make a high quality app with the tech we have now, jumping to some new tech isn't going to help that. That what I think these days. We need to create quality and software fun to use. Tech stack doesn't matter that much
Winter_Persimmon_110@reddit
I got laid off right as AI was taking off and the first people who reached out to me when I updated my status on LinkedIn were people trying to sell me AI resume services.
I sold my house and moved to a lower cost of living area. I don't like the financial insecurity. I had friends that had been jobless and looking for over a year and I didn't have that money for mortgage payments etc. When I sold my house I did have money.
It's a privilege a lot of people don't have, to be able to give up on the career for over a year. I'm trying to use the little I have to build a life that takes as little money as possible to maintain. This involves getting into other disciplines where I would have hired a contractor or mechanic before. Learning is no problem for me and almost anything is less boring than trying to learn Kubernetes, for me.
hooli-ceo@reddit
I mean... you don't have to keep doing it? If you don't like it then either accept it as a job ("work") and keep making money to pay the bills or do something else. That's about the options you've got, as I see it. Not sure why the internet needs to know this, though.
Tacos314@reddit
This is how the industry is, how it has always been, sadly if you can't find a way to balance things your self you will burn hard.
Steps you can take
* Figure out your personal life - workout, friends, family, social lfe, hobbies, etc..
* Spend 2 nights a week not at home minimum.
* Have defined work hours and don't work outside of them
* Go out and touch grass
You have to figure it out. If you can't handle sitting in an air conditioned office / desk while having AI do the hard work so you can play on reddit 😄. All while getting paid well above median salary. Maybe the career is not the right one for you. It's not the right career for a lot of people, the constant learning and growth can weigh on ones mind. leading to a lot of anxiety that you don't find in a lot other careers.
zica-do-reddit@reddit
Been there. First thing to do is to go to the doctor and do a full physical and mental evaluation. You may be eligible for a medical leave of absence.
Saykee@reddit
You're burned out man. Take a break.
I burned out of a 5 year job and haven't been able to getab job in 2 years...
Take a step back, relax, and just treat it as work. Before it's tool late. Don't quit your day job but don't treat coding as your life. Reconnect with things you used to do before it took over.
xSaviorself@reddit
You need a hobby away from the screen.
SeparateDark251@reddit
What others have said. This is a job, not a world-changing experience. I've known developers who crack open their laptops after a long day of work and work 5 more hours at home. Don't do that. Get a hobby.
The last time I did serious side project work was in the late 90s, when I was developing my own tools on a job that literally required zero work from me. I learned to program. I got straight A's in my night classes because I could work on my assignments during work hours.
Now? When I close my laptop, I don't want to think about programming until I'm back at work.
igootkks44@reddit
A lot of people hit this after years in JS land, especially when every year feels like a new stack to chase. It can stop feeling like building and start feeling like nonstop upkeep.
What helped me was cutting the noise way down. Fewer tools, fewer side projects, less trying to keep up with every new thing. AI can help, but if it turns into just reading diffs and running tests all day, it can still feel draining. I’ve seen folks use tools like claude code and trylotus ai to keep the boring bug fix and feedback loop stuff moving, so they can spend more time on actual product work.
Also worth checking if this is just burnout and not “I hate dev now.” Those are different. Burnout can make everything feel flat for a while.
You do not need to keep up with all of JS. Most people do not. Picking one lane for a bit can help more than forcing yourself to track every trend.
TaXxER@reddit
32M and 12+ YOE?
Did you not study?
derrikcurran@reddit
What do you mean by this? Are you asking if OP has a degree? Why?
Outside-Storage-1523@reddit
I'm in the same boat. I no longer cares about my work -- just do whatever that can get pass without getting fired, and I have stopped working on my side projects. I used to want to get into lower level programming so I did the xv6 labs as well as some other kernel stuffs on the side, but now I simply don't want to look at them anymore.
I think life is just like that. A few people good and lucky enough managed to grab all the joy and fame and what not, and most of the people simply get a job. That's it. That's reality and I'm gradually accepting it.
I don't think there is a way out. I'm so scared that life after retirement will be even more boring and dreadful. I don't think therapy is going to do anything and I don't want to take pills. Therapy is useless for people who have fundamental issues in every part of his life.
forbiddenknowledg3@reddit
Unironically frontend is so much better with AI. React (especially with Redux) has so much boilerplate that the AI handles now. Then quite often I can't get a designer (I'm on internal tools which is low prio for them) and the AI does that now too (today I had it generate some svgs).
I suppose theirs a lot more frontend code for it to train on or something? Because compared to backend it's pretty good IMO.
scottmkr@reddit
I am nearly 37 and been doing for nearly 20 years now. I honestly think it’s just social media, it is relentless and now with AI you are just seeing so much more than we would have seen even like 5 years ago. I dread to think the increase in posting is these days.
Burnout is the real factor and I wish I build hobbies that were not work / software dev related so I can escape to that. This is something I am working on now but it’s not easy.
InfiniteDevExpert@reddit
v1dal@reddit
Hello man, I'm on your same boat, exact same age, and similar YOE, (10) here, also TypeScript dev, frontend, backend, full stack, mobile everything.
I can relate to everything you say, I would say I'm not that burned trying to keep it up, but I just feel a profound disconnection with my job, I also juggle sideprojects non-stop, including, some successful ones, which makes it even worse, as there is people behind asking questions, having issues....
I don't know what is the solution to this, I have enough money and a lean lifestyle to stop working for years but I'm unsure of doing that.
But I do feel burned out and all my joy and spark gone.
Anyway, if you want to chat ship a DM, I think we are not alone.
cooking-chef-2000@reddit
I'm rather scared. I'm a few years into corporate software engineering, and I'm afraid the same thing is going to happen to me.
What healthy habits do you all have to make sure you don't burn out? I feel like preventative measure would greatly help me because recovering from burnout is a lot of work
Intrepid-Ostrich2226@reddit
Whatever you like. Ex I like drawing, dancing, video games and intellectual quizzes.
Intrepid-Ostrich2226@reddit
I decided to go to backend, C# and so on. Heard about a local government company developing their own JS framework and imposing it to employees and thought I am done. My frontend colleague admired this persons of the company who wrote this new JS framework and got bonus for it.
recycled_ideas@reddit
Jesus Christ it's not twenty years ago. Shit is more stable than that.
You don't have to learn every new framework, or every new concept, you have to learn the framework you can get a job in and understand it well enough conceptually that you can pick up the next framework you can get a job in.
You don't have to use every new feature or every new update. Write react and think that server components are stupid, don't use them, join the club, membership fees are very reasonable.
You don't have to have some insanely crazy AI workflow, they don't work, knowing how to explain what you want to an idiot works and it works quite well without a thousand MCP servers.
You don't have to do side projects. Anyone who expects you to have them is a sad sack workaholic that you don't want to work with or for.
This is a job. That's all it has ever been. You do it well enough that you can get paid and find the next one and that's all you need to do. If you love it and want to spend your free time doing it, go for it, if you'd rather spend time with your partner or hug your kids or golf or read very specific erotic fiction, do that instead. It's a job, that you do for money, so that you can pay your bills. You do what you're paid for and the minimum required to cover your ass in a job hunt and then you go home and you live your life.
Intrepid-Ostrich2226@reddit
I decided to go to backend, C# and so on. Heard about a local government company developing their own JS framework and imposing it to employees and thought I am done. My frontend colleague admired this persons of the company who wrote this new JS framework and got bonus for it.
HoratioWobble@reddit
You're chasing hype, the industry goes in waves of trying a load of new technologies until one sticks.
React is a great example of this, there were so many similar frameworks or libraries that achieved the same goal in different ways and i'm not just talking Vue, Angular etc.
Everyone is trying to work out how to use AI right now, it's why you're seeing so many tools and concepts pop up, people know they want it to work they just haven't worked out a standardised way to work with it.
Javascript libraries will always have cycles of tooling and popular libraries until one sticks and a few become the common ones everyone uses.
Easiest way to approach it is to go with the flow, don't force learning, be flexible and learn to sell yourself
I'm 20yoe, my experience has been mostly like this - HTML + CSS, - PHP - Node (Express) - Native android, - Native iOS - Cordova - Still doing PHP - Using node for backend more (Nest) - React (Started with CRA, the Next and now Vite) - React with Typescript - React Native
In between all that I did a few major Java projects, C# and a bunch of other random languages.
I currently almost exclusively use Node for my backends, React Native for apps, React for frontend. I work with other stuff like Kotlin, PHP, Swift, C# when I need too but most companies still want a variation of the stacks I started working with a few years ago.
I've not done additional learning or side projects to learn new skills, I rarely even work beyond 5pm honestly I just learned to convince hiring managers that I can do what they need even if I've never done it before.
captainuberawesome@reddit
Slightly older than you with about the same amount of experience and felt that way for the past few years. What helped me was to get on extended (parental) leave. I'm on month 5 of my leave now (planning to come back to work after 9 or 10 months) and I finally started to feel passion for programming again a month or so ago, before that I haven't even opened my laptop once.
Now I want to learn new things again, I want to tinker with AI (not the expensive versions though on account of not being paid and all), I want to build pet projects again (I have small scraps of time I can use for that but that's still better than the apathy I felt before). And having my son has made me feel passion for life in general I haven't felt in a while
YMMV of course, in my country parental leave is protected and people can't be fired during it (and for some time after unless there is a cause) so I'm not particularly worried about being out of job.
AstroWoW@reddit
Not an option for all of us. Standard paternal leave in my country is two weeks, which is ridiculous.
whinze@reddit (OP)
First of all, congratulations for your kid!
I deeply hope you keep this level of energy and happiness even after going back to work!
no_spoon@reddit
Why are you reading code? I barely read code anymore.
mechkbfan@reddit
Happened about the same time for me
Took a holiday, found a less stressful job, focused on backend instead of frontend. Much better place now
JavaScript land sucks (for me)
britishpcman@reddit
Basically the same here, same age, same experience
I've actually been forced into a data engineering role this year which shakes things up a bit.
I need a good long break though I reckon.
peripateticman2026@reddit
Nobody cares.
CalmLake999@reddit
The side projects is what kills you. Stop it.
TRodz@reddit
Experiencing similar thoughts. What’s helped me the most is to pick new hobbies that require manual labor. In my example I bought a car and started DIYing lots of fixes; woodworking; returned to musical instruments. All things that can be benefited from AI but don’t require me staring at a screen.
It’s also helped a lot to have a workout routine between gym and running. Helps me keep my mind occupied away from mundane things
CaptainAdderall89@reddit
I can related dude. It just feels like it's an endless churn of every changing requirements.
Ashken@reddit
I’m definitely into it and I’m definitely coping. I used to cope with exercise but I got injured and hadn’t gotten back into it since. So I’ve been working on a side project in Rust for a couple of years. And that was holding me together a bit because I could finally stop looking at React all damn day. I don’t recommend that unless it’s a project you really want to do and would enjoy and don’t mind taking time with. Don’t build it to try to get money or anything like that.
Another part of the issue is work environment. Think about how toxic your environment might be right now. I’m better it’s probably at a minimum notably more toxic than before AI was prevalent. It’s because now people are trying to treat each other like LLMs. It’s a mess.
The 2 things keeping me afloat right now until I can start exercising again are therapy and making music. The music is an emotional and creative outlet and the therapy helps me actually identify and understand those emotions that I can then put into that outlet. I recommend therapy for sure if you can.
gmatebulshitbox@reddit
Almost same age and the same experience. I'm starting to think this is mid age crisis thing. But I'm still frustrating by AI. People use it more and they don't getting better. They don't grow and improve their skills. Considering to switch to car mechanic.
letsbefrds@reddit
Take a vacation.
Come back with a new mindset man. AI is here to stay, use it more efficiently make it do things you don't want to do (for me it's write test). Frontier models are pretty good at architecturing apps unless yours is very niche. Manually do what you want and use it as a documentation dictionary and vibe what you don't.
At the end of the unfortunately it's just a job, maybe coding can help you building something you love (with AI it's a lot easier).
I know it sucks but we just need to find something more than just writing the best damn code we can currently create because a couple years from now shits gonna be old legacy code.
whinze@reddit (OP)
Yes that's what i've been trying to do for years (building my own products), unfortunately didn't work for now : product-market fit, distribution, people sometimes and the work load is too huge for negative costs (i mean it's costing money)
Same for AI, but this kind of usage is what makes me already pretty obsolete. AI workflows are going far beyond this "simple" yet very enjoyable usage and this i can see it at my job or at other companies
Typhon_Vex@reddit
Mood
UnderstandingDry1256@reddit
Just look around. Think what kind of stuff you really love, and look for the companies that are doing something in the area. Lile, travel or pets or bycicles or whatever.
This is what differentiate boring job vs something you will be excited about.
whinze@reddit (OP)
I thought being product-oriented would make a difference, but I keep coming back to the same realization : i'm still just producing code. And I genuinely don't know if the problem is the field, or something deeper.