What are your experiences of leaving London?
Posted by Harbinger-of-gloom@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 59 comments
Me and my wife have both been Londoners our whole lives, which is a city we love, but having just had our first child and another on the way we keep returning to the idea of selling our outer London house for somewhere more rural. We want more space for our children, a slower pace of life, less traffic and more opportunities to engage with nature. However, the reality is once we leave London, we will never be able to afford to move back - so it would be great to hear experiences of those that have made the move, especially if you have kids that have been though rural schools etc
peppermint_aero@reddit
Does it have to be somewhere more rural? If you like city life but find London too much/too expensive, consider another city?
In somewhere like Manchester the suburbs can be much more affordable and you can be in both the city centre and the Peak District in under an hour.
You also don't have to sell your London house - I appreciate not everyone wants to be a landlord but it is an option.
PootMcGroot@reddit
Same with Leeds - the outer suburbs are within walking distance of the green belt.
Fun_Formal2435@reddit
to be fair, Outer London suburbs are also in walking distance of the green belt.
Ok_Economist7901@reddit
Affordable for Londoners, the irony.
peppermint_aero@reddit
Yes, the OP is a Londoner. Appreciate there's a broader point to be made about housing prices but this was a piece of advice given to an individual.
BreqsCousin@reddit
If you move to the countryside you will spend more time in traffic because you'll have to drive everywhere
IHoppo@reddit
As someone who lives in the countryside I never spend any time in traffic.
Relative_Sea3386@reddit
Lucky you! How do food, wares and money arrive at your doorstep?
IHoppo@reddit
Deliveries - don't you have those in cities? They're amazing.
Money - when I commuted I got a train at 6:00am, after a 25 minute drive. Zero traffic. Home at 7:00 from the train - again, zero traffic. I then W'd FH for 6 years.
How far can you drive in London without being stuck in traffic?
Mald1z1@reddit
You dont need to drive because you can take the tube or bus
IHoppo@reddit
Amazingly we have buses and trains outside London too. But the question was about cars and traffic.
Mald1z1@reddit
They're abysmal compared to london.
The person brought up traffic becaude by contrast in ldn you won't be in traffic as you will be on the tube.
IHoppo@reddit
And in my experience you're not stuck in traffic in rural areas. Whereas London buses are caught up in traffic.
Mysterious_Fall5714@reddit
I have never looked back, you can get very stuck in a London centric bubble and yes, it’s an amazing city. BUT, there’s a whole world out there. My kids know and recognise people wherever we go, we are on the beach every weekend and honestly? The pace of life being so very different means we enjoy our time together so much more. We’re not desperate to cram quality time in between commuting, we’re just living it.
geesegoosegeesegoose@reddit
Being recognized everywhere you go sounds like a special level of hell.
Mald1z1@reddit
Me too haha. And that's why i was so happy to go back to london.
Also from london, you can still be at the beach every weekend. Brighton, Margate and Worthing are super close with multiple fast trains.
Mysterious_Fall5714@reddit
😂 I just mean when we’re going out to kids places they usually bump into a kid they know. Probably didn’t explain that well.
Ok_Economist7901@reddit
With respect you didn’t move to a crappy neglected seaside town did you ? You undoubtedly had a hefty sum of money to be selective. Londoners bang on about moving out of London but they have the money to choose the most desirable places. So yes life will be great.
Mysterious_Fall5714@reddit
You actually couldn’t be more wrong.
AcesAgainstKings@reddit
CharGPT has ruined "and honestly?"
Mysterious_Fall5714@reddit
Showing my age as the whole idea of using ai tools freaks me out, skynet is close! 👋
Mald1z1@reddit
London is very rural for a city and from London you can be at stunning spots within 10-30 minutes such as Richmond Park, lee valley, Surrey, Kent, Sussex, windsor, etc. And the cotswolds is only 1 hr away on the train.
Also I didnt feel life was that much slower in the country. Everyrhing took ages and I had to drive my car everywhere so life at home was alot more rushed and busy.
Lastly I would ask you to question yourself when you say you need space. Living in London, the entire city is at your disposal. What more space could you want than that? You have parks everywhere and lots to see and do for free. What do you want space for and could this be solved just by moving closer to a park ?
sc33g11@reddit
Born and raised in London and moved out of Hackney just over a month ago to West Sussex, thought I’d be dragged out kicking and screaming but I am absolutely loving it.
I’m in the office a couple of few days a week but I actually enjoy the commute more because I can sit on the train and just relax as opposed to the frantic overground/Lizzie line commute from Hackney.
I do have a two year-old but I just feel like life is so much easier here and I feel a lot more free. Luckily, I am still working in London and have lots of friends there so there’s never a week where I’m not back, but it’s so nice just being able to shut the door on it.
I also bought a three bed house (with three bathrooms) for the same price as my one bed flat so there’s that too…
OverpricedMoleskine@reddit
Will likely be doing the same within a few months! How are you finding the commute in? How long does it take you?
sc33g11@reddit
I love it as I say I just get to sit on a train for 45 mins which is a spa break when you have a toddler haha door to door takes about 1h15
BulkyAccident@reddit
Rural is going to be a huge culture shock and I'd avoid it however romantic it might sound to you right now.
Pick the outskirts of a city instead - something with a good train and transport link - so you're able to access all the amenities/culture/etc that you've been used to while still getting green space.
Keep in mind you may also want to visit friends and family back in London so accessing some kind of mainline rail will be handy.
Jumpy_Imagination208@reddit
Also this.
I worked as a letting agent for a number of years, including when Covid hit. We rented properties in towns, villages and rural areas. When Londoners said they wanted “rural” it actually meant they wanted the suburbs of a town. I remember one rural property where we were getting a lot of interest from Londoners but the feedback was often that it was too isolated, and I realised that I needed to really emphasise to callers how isolated it was; the next guy that called up, I was very clear, I made him aware that there was no corner shop (or any shop) within walking distance and he goes “this is exactly what me and my girlfriend want, we love rural, we only want to see rural properties”.. they drove down from London, I drove from 20 mins away, we get down to the house and they go “we haven’t seen a pub in a while, is there one within walking distance”, obviously I tell him where the closest pub is, which is a perfect location for a Sunday country walk, have a Sunday lunch and then the country walk back (probably about an hour) and he goes “no, we’re young, we need something a bit more lively”.. yeah and if you had not been so adamant on the phone that you only wanted to view rural properties, I’d have told you about a suburban property that you could have viewed this morning but have now missed out on completely.
peppermint_aero@reddit
I mean if you've only ever lived in London it's understandable you might not have a realistic picture of what "rural" looks like.
Thomasinarina@reddit
As someone who actually lives in a fairly rural location it is laughable to me what their version of ‘rural’ looks like.
Jumpy_Imagination208@reddit
“Rural” but walkable to a train station, less than an hour from their office, and walkable to shops, pubs, restaurants… yeah… we need to talk about what is meant by Rural, and Hamlets, and even villages.
Dennyisthepisslord@reddit
Yeah I love in a village, a mile away from a park bigger than anything in London and yet can be in central London in less than a hour. City dwellers might call it countryside but I go to far smaller places to truly see the country
ohnobobbins@reddit
We really didn’t enjoy it half as much as we thought we would. We did go fully rural in a tiny hamlet, but we have family in the village and I joined the WI etc. We were bored, isolated and spent most of our spare time on mowing and garden upkeep.
Luckily we only tried it for 18 months and rented while we did. Long story short, we moved back to our old flat in London and finally got an allotment. Much happier now.
We are possibly going to move out once we’ve retired, but to a town house in a big village with shops etc.
I think the thing we missed the most was walking out of the house and getting on a bus and going somewhere interesting/cultural.
drakon99@reddit
I know people who have moved out of London to more rural locations with kids and regretted it - healthcare is worse, schools are worse, transport is worse, there’s less things for kids to do, less culture etc.
We moved to Manchester for more space and to be closer to family, and while it’s good, London is better.
jelly10001@reddit
I moved away to another city for university and even there, public transport on a Sunday wasn't always the most reliable. If I'd been somewhere rural it would have been non existent, which is fine when you can drive, but when you're a 13 year old kid who wants to go out with their friends, it's very frustrating. It also means you could end up spending more years of your life being a taxi service for your kids than if you stayed in London.
Other things to consider - do you need to get to London for work at all? If so, being packed in on a commuter train probably won't feel like having the slower pace of life that you wanted. Also, have you looked into the cost of that? What would there be nearby for your kids to do when the weather isn't great? Would moving somewhere rural take you away from family and friends who could perhaps help with childcare? How easy would it be to make new friends? Would you mind having to drive everywhere?
Competitive_Pen7192@reddit
People always move further out each time they move as they want more house for the money.
I grew up in the suburbs of north London but was pushed out to Essex as I don't have a casual half a million for a house.
Rather than rural why not just a commuter town? The South East is literally one giant dormitory to feed the capital with workers. Plenty of choice for every budget. I wouldn't live rural because commuting into London would suck and having no shops or community nearby wouldn't help the children when growing up.
minisaxophone@reddit
There are more family oriented areas of London, especially on the outskirts all around
Maybe look for the best of both worlds?
Nkhotak@reddit
I grew up in a small village but have lived in London since my late twenties and brought my family up here. I love the countryside, but am glad raised my children here.
The village had no shop, only a couple of buses a day and only one other girl the same age as me (who I couldn't stand.) so as a child, I was completely dependent on my parents to see friends, go to the shops and school. As a teenager I'd cycle the four miles to town so had a bit more freedom but still needed lifts to a lot of places. There was nothing like the range of baby groups and classes, extra-curricular activities for kids and part-time jobs for teenagers that we've had within a short walk in London. And then there's the access to cultural life that can't be matched outside a city, not to mention the convenience of having late night shops a five minute walk away when you realise you've run out of milk.
Village schools can be very small, so none of the economies of scale that can allow large London primary's to afford specialist staff for art/music/sport. If you're lucky there might be a bus to secondary school, but it's likely to limit what afterschool activities your children can get involved in, otherwise you'll be having to do the school run throughout secondary.
If you do move out, try the outskirts of a large town or small city. Your kids will have some of the opportunities and independence that London kids do, while still having the space and easy access to the countryside.
FletchLives99@reddit
We stayed in London. When the kids were under 4 it was actually pretty convenient (eveything's close, including friends). From 4-11, I did wonder if the country might be better. But then once they turned 11, they could do stuff by themselves and take the Tube places. By 13, all the kids in the county/ smaller towns complain that they're bored and need lifts everywhere. I'm really glad we stayed.
Jumpy_Imagination208@reddit
I only lived in London for 6 years before returning to my home town and I never want to return to London- but perhaps it’s different if you’re a proper Londoner. It’s the little things like saying good morning to random strangers, being able to leave windows open and being able to easily get to the beach/ countryside on days off. Another big reason for me moving out is that I never wanted to have or raise children in London- i know not every child joins a gang or hangs around with people who carry knives, but it was a factor.
That said, I still work in one part of London that has a community feel.
Could you rent for a year to test out an area? Because a town in Surrey, Kent or even St Albans is going to be very different to certain other places, and villages are going to be very different once again.
Although now I do want to move to a rural area, I’m glad I came back to a town, where I can still walk everywhere - I’d recommend moving to a town first before going to a village or fully rural.
DazzleBMoney@reddit
Everyone’s welcome to raise their kids wherever they prefer to, but I don’t get why people fret about raising kids in London as if it’s particularly dangerous. There’s many many other towns and cities around the UK that are much worse to raise kids in, have higher rates of youth crime and violence, all without the opportunities that London offers.
Jumpy_Imagination208@reddit
Yes, you’re right, a lot of other cities are more dangerous, I wouldn’t want to raise kids there either. But many people do.
In terms of work, yes there are more opportunities in London, but I’m not sure there are more opportunities for kids, unless I’m missing something? Forest school is a big thing around us. We also have a couple of schools that an agricultural programme for both wellbeing and also for the kids to learn about rearing animals and plants (it’s only half a day for each year group each week). I don’t remember that being a thing when I was at school but I think it’s great.
Choice-Demand-3884@reddit
Moved from East London to very rural Cumbria about 2 years ago. Best thing we ever did.
I still love London and I'm lucky to go down for work about once a month.
DingoBingoWimbo@reddit
It's nice, I miss London but there's a whole world out there
Fun-Yam2210@reddit
Regret. Rural Canterbury.
geesegoosegeesegoose@reddit
Hated it. Downsized and moved back.
AcceptableCustomer89@reddit
Why are your two options a metropolis and rural? Plenty of lovely towns within a stones throw of london
lil_chunk27@reddit
I lived in London for my 20s and moved early 30s to a different city. I loved London and honestly we would have stayed but were priced out and we wanted the security of home ownership, especially as we've since had a baby. I do love where we live now, but honestly the cultural life and job market are just not on the same level as in London.
Where I am is a city but still near enough to nature which is a good balance I think. I grew up in a small town and was very adamant I still wanted to live in a city - everyone is different and for sure it's great to explore nature with your kids, but I think being a teenager in a more rural setting is a bit miserable since you just constantly need a lift everywhere.
OldCaptain3987@reddit
I moved from London to a small town in the country side, I would never come back. I have 2 kids and I feel jealous sometimes of the childhood they are having. You won’t regret it
Correct_Elk2320@reddit
Rural? You will be in for a shock. This is not a cosmopolitan society.
Mental_Water_2694@reddit
Great
Human_Environment_92@reddit
I moved out of London to the coast 3 months ago. It’s the best decision I could have ever made for myself. I adored living in London, it’s an incredible city but I was ready for a different life and the move has changed everything in the best possible way.
Academic_Painter3162@reddit
Big difference in speed of life, and scope. The FOMO in the first few months was wild. Your world can feel suddenly a lot smaller when you cant just hop on the tube and come upon a new world whenever you fancy. As a general rule, people outside london do not love hearing about how different / great / more advanced things are back in London. You will probably feel very bored and a bit claustrophobic at first, but personally I’m much happier out of it.
You will learn, whether you like it or not, not to feel unreasonable rage when the bust is a few minutes late, or you miss it and theres not another one coming in five minutes.
Logical-Title5403@reddit
The best feeling ever
ThatNiceDrShipman@reddit
Don't hurry back now
Logical-Title5403@reddit
Don’t worry won’t it’s scruffy
DazzleBMoney@reddit
There’s a lot of commuter towns surrounding London where you get significantly more for your money, that are easily within an hours drive or train ride into London, that offer a good balance of being close to nature/countryside yet also being within a walk or a short drive of the local high street. You don’t have to move somewhere rural unless that’s specifically what you’re looking for
Wise-Pay-8993@reddit
depends tbh you said you live in outer london, thats huge and theres many places in outder london (within m25) which have a good mix of country and a tube line and so on
Whitewitchie@reddit
Born and bought up in London, but had to move just outside to afford a house. I would not consider anything really rural, as idyllic as it might sound. Go for a large town or city where you can afford to live and work comfortably.
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