Does everyone have a middle name in the USA? Do all women take their husband’s surname?

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DSpiceOLife@reddit

Most of the women I know who are under 40 didn’t take their husband’s last name. But I think it is still the norm in most of the United States. (My wife and I combined our last names into a new one!)

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triggsmom@reddit

I have one. My father in law did not. He was a twin and his mom couldn’t find a middle name she liked for the boys

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Arleare13@reddit

it seems like in the US everyone has a middle name. Is it true or is it just some people that have one?

The vast majority.

I was also wondering if women still change their surname to their husband’s after they get married.

Most do, but it's not universal.

I see a lot of professional ladies with "Firstname Lastname (formerly lastname)" in their email signatures. It seems to be a pretty common way to try to mitigate that. My wife purposefully delayed starting her own business until we got married so she could do all the paperwork under her new name (only like a few months, she didn't delay years or anything).

theshortlady@reddit

That's what I did. My husband has a much easier name to pronounce.

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Dry-Huckleberry-1984@reddit

I’m the opposite. My husband has a very uncommon/unpronounceable last name, so that was one of many reasons I didn’t change mine (career, degrees, overall sexism, etc).

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TalkingRose@reddit

My maiden name had a vowel near the end that no one ever expected, so my life was littered with constantly correcting the spelling to people. Really looked forward to ditching that issue when I got married.

I feel like the "highly educated" statistic makes it sound like women who achieve higher education are more likely to reject social norms.

The real answer is that the more highly educated you are the more likely you are to have published research under your name. This is the case with my sister-in-law.

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AlpsHelpful1292@reddit

I don’t have any publications and I still wouldn’t change my surname because I think it’s a weird and pointless tradition. I don’t want to have to change all my documents and I’ve lived in countries where women keep their names.

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minicpst@reddit

I was 23 when I got married, liberal, college educated, but took his name because I hated my middle name. So I made my maiden name my middle name and took his. My name flows much better now, and I share a last name with my kids. That was important to me.

Later this year my oldest will be changing her name. She got married earlier this year and they’ll both be changing their names to a new name. They’re combining their last names to a new one (not hyphenated, totally new name).

But because we’re all politically aware, liberal, and educated, they won’t until after the midterms. Just in case. That way their names match their birth certificates and passports.

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Healthy_Blueberry_59@reddit

Why couldn't you share your last name with your kids?

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minicpst@reddit

Traditionally in the US they take the father's last name.

It was also something he wanted to do (to share his name with his kids).

So given that I had been wanting to change my name since I was six, and my new name was great and my old one wasn't, it was an easy decision.

His new husband also did the same thing. Had been wanting to change his name, so he also has our last name now.

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Healthy_Blueberry_59@reddit

I get that. Did your kid's father marry a man after he was married to you?

It is very rare for a man to take a woman's last name, even if he hates his name. For me, it's something I don't get at all. I can't imagine changing my name.

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minicpst@reddit

He did.

It's lower in my social circle as well. The only reason my wife took my name is she hated her maidenDenis.

It’s not like they said “smarter women don’t change their names” (although that might be true, I don’t know). It’s specifically just correlated that more education means you’re less likely to change your name. This is probably because more educated people tend to get married later, so the woman has more of an adult life history with her original name, and because they’re more likely to have a professional title or career tied to their original name.

I’m always surprised when people change their names though. I don’t get it. It’s not very common where I live.

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LynnSeattle@reddit

You’re wrong though. More educated women are less likely to change their names when they marry. This is true for younger women too.

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allegedlydm@reddit

It’s not inflammatory to provide statistically accurate statements.

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cheyannepavan@reddit

Statistics show that the higher your education, the less likely you are to change your last name. There's no arguing that, but those are just the overall numbers — they don't necessarily have anything to do with your individual situation or the situations of people you know.

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Leothegolden@reddit

It’s trending downward on taking your husband’s name. This will become less common in 20 years from now.

The administrative problems people warn about is largely a myth. In a world where families come in all shapes and configurations, systems have generally caught up to the reality that a name doesn't define the legality or the unity of a household.

Can you read?? I said men are not more entitled to using and owning their last names than women are.

eeeicrammm@reddit

I also know a few women who have legally changed their last name to their husband’s when they got married and use it in their personal life but keep using their maiden name in their professions.

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biancanevenc@reddit

And vice versa. I've known women who didn't change their name legally and kept using their maiden name in their profession, but socially went by the husband's last name.

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ElleM848645@reddit

Much smaller as in more women don’t change their names? Because it’s also like they in my circles. I’d say it’s like 50/50 or 60/40 changing names. I didn’t change my name nor did my sister, but my other sister did. I think the people that get married in their 20s are more likely to change their names than those women that get married in their 30s or 40s. In my professional circles it’s a minority of women that change their names at marriage. I think once women are more established in their careers they are less likely to change their names.

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MrsPandaBear@reddit

I think it depends on the your social circle too. I think I know one other person who didn’t change her last name and she didn’t change it because she was a doctor and it would be a pain. Almost everyone else I know changed their last time or at least hyphenated their name (and it’s always the women that hyphenates, never the man.) But I live in a red state, in a red-ish suburbia where everyone is married, settled with kids in a more traditional setup.

I’m sure women who marry later, who have established careers, who aren’t as tradition minded, are far less likely to change their last name. When I was in my 20s, I felt there was more people that frowned about a woman not changing their last name. But now, in my 40s, the issue never comes up except as a curiosity. It’s kind of “to each their own”. And with the threat of the SAVE act, my husband is actively telling our girls to never change their names for marriage.

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Adventurous-Time5287@reddit

i actually don’t know a single person who didn’t change their last name when they got married.

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audioaddict321@reddit

Yeah, among my Xennial/Millennial cousins, 4 kept their birth name and 1 changed. 1 more TBD, but that's it.

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Karnakite@reddit

Went to a wedding recently in which the couple combined their last names. Think Smith + Jones = Smones. I thought it was a neat idea, but not something everyone can do.

I personally never saw the point of a woman changing her last name when she got married. I actually despise my last name and would love to change it, but not through marriage.

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I’ve noticed an increase of women who take their husbands name socially but not legally. I kind of wish I did that because having my last name match my family is nice but it was so hard to change my last name that you’d have thought I was the first woman to ever her name with marriage (despite it traditionally and currently being the standard)

At one point in the process the poor woman ahead of me at the dmv was also trying to get her married name put on her drivers license but couldn’t because at the counter she noticed that her newly issued social security card had a typo. The office had hyphenated her last name with her old one instead of changing it like she had requested so now she had to restart the entire name change process from the beginning

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Excellent-Abies-3187@reddit

I got married later in life (at 50) but was planning change my name to add his to mine with a hyphen (my last name - his last name). Hubs didn't pressure me, told me to do whatever I wanted to. I went to the social security office 3 times and waited in line for hours and never to see anyone. So I gave up. It gets confusing with household things (is the account at the plumbers in my name or his name?) but in general, I'm glad I didn't change it. if I were younger and we were planning to have kids it might have been a different story. Professionally it was much easier to keep my maiden name.

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pgm123@reddit

The vast majority.

Growing up I knew several girls with no middle name. The idea was they were going to take their husband's name so their maiden name would then become their middle name. I don't think that's common but I knew more than one person with that situation.

That said, I'm a man and I do NOT have a middle name. I have a middle initial only. Which is BASICALLY a middle name and it stands for a middle name but crucially, especially in the early days of internet forms, it is not the same thing. Now most forms seem okay with a single letter but for many years I dreaded any kind of automated system that asked for a full name.

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KingBobIV@reddit

A middle name is common enough that's in often required on government forms. You'll see NMN (no middle name) or NMI (no middle initial) on forms and IDs.

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Greyface13@reddit

It’s a lot of work to change your name. And the name on your driving license doesn’t match your birth certificate. But it’s cool if you have kids to have everyone in the family with the same last name. That stops being true, though, if you get a divorce.

That being said, it’s a choice & not sure of the exact proportion, but no one blinks an eye, if a woman keep’s her last name. It definitely is not rare

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IvoryWoman@reddit

Most Americans do have middle names, so that our mothers can let us know that we’re in BIG trouble by including them. “Sheldon Lee Cooper, you get in here right this instant!” Notable criminals also often get denoted by being called by their full names, such as Lee Harvey Oswald. They’re quite useful at times.

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Aggressive_Power_471@reddit

I have a middle name but my mum and her siblings do not. I did not take my husband's last name but my mom took her husband's name both times she wed (1 divorce and currently married to #2). Honestly now a days it varies (I know one guy and he and his wife made up a surname) but the majority is middle name and wife takes husband's surname.

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Hot-Yogurt5539@reddit

Very few of my friends took our husbands’ names. We are feminist professionals and we never considered it. We have our own identities that are no less important than our husbands’.

Almost everyone I know has a middle name.

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rnmissionrun@reddit

The vast majority of Americans have middle names. A small number have more than one. An even smaller number have none.

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KindraTheElfOrc@reddit

most but not all, pretty much the answer to both

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throwraW2@reddit

I’ve only met a couple people who don’t have a middle name but it happens. I’ve met more people with multiple middle names actually.

In regards to marriage, the latest stats I’ve seen show about 70% of women still take their husbands surname. It used to be much higher.

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One of my friends didn't have a middle name, so in junior high, she started saying her middle name was Kelly. That didn't last very long

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I don’t have a middle name, but don’t know many people that don’t have one

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ReddyKiloWit@reddit

Most have at least one middle name. (I have two, fortunately both have the same initial letter.)

Most women take their husbands last name and most people hanger one middle name.

Some people have two middle names and even fewer people have no middle name.

I'll take my cookie now.

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uwu_mewtwo@reddit

Almost everyone has a middle name
Most women (80%) take their husband's name

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native_shinigami@reddit

I hope my future wife doesn't. Only ppl of my blood line will.

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Original-Locksmith58@reddit

So like, your kids? Won’t that be confusing for them?

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disheavel@reddit

I mean ultimately it's a question as to whether one grandpa or the other grandpa is more important and awesome of a person to justify carrying on a name. Such nonsense.

My children with my wife have different last names. It's just not a big deal at all. Teachers, neighbors, aunts, uncles, no one cares. The only people who have ever cared are our mothers (their grandmothers)... and I think it is just because they had to change their last names so they want to inflict that pain on everyone else.

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Original-Locksmith58@reddit

I try to be a live and let live person but I typically find that approach confusing. Names have purposes and there are lots of administrative/social edge cases where sharing a family name is a lot easier. If you don’t like the tradition of taking the man’s name, I think have everyone in the new family unit making a brand new one makes the most sense. But a lot of the people I see doing this stuff still have a traditional Christian wedding, which confuses me even more, cause why do you like one patriarchal tradition but not the other? I don’t mean to offend but it just comes off as virtue signaling that will make headaches for your kids. All in or all out.

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rkb70@reddit

I didn't change my name and our children all have DH's last name. We've been married over 30 years and I can assure you that it is not a problem. I can't fathom what "administrative/social" issues you think it's causing. It didn't cause "headaches" for my kids - I don't even know what you're speculating there.

Regardless, you can use your logic to decide what name you want to use, and other people can use their logic to decide what name they want to use. And what type of wedding you have has zip all to do with what name you choose to use. I can't even figure out how you came up with the idea that using the name you were born with is "virtue signaling". By your logic, it makes more sense to say that someone changing their name upon marriage is "virtue signaling" - claiming they'll avoid 'headaches" for their kids and "confusion". (To be clear, I don't think that. Everyone can use whatever name they want, for whatever reasons are important to them. Period.)

Honestly, you sound like you're just trying to come up with made up problems to convince women to change their name. It's not your name - why do you care so much?

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Original-Locksmith58@reddit

Your reaction tells me I didn’t communicate very well. I don’t care what other people do with their names, but I value logic and consistency. I think it makes sense for the family unit to share a name, whatever it is. The current “system” in place is that the woman and subsequent children take the man’s name. Some people have an issue with that because of patriarchy, Christianity, whatever, but then they still engage in a bunch of other traditions tied to the same “problem” - like getting married in the first place. I don’t understand the logic. It just seems like a lot of people don’t do the name thing as an hollow “fuck the system” and then change nothing else about their behavior, and I think that’s virtue signaling AND boring. If you don’t like the system, get creative, do your own thing, y’know?

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rkb70@reddit

”I think it makes sense for the family unit to share a name”

Then you do that. Not everyone thinks it “makes sense” or matters at all.

”The current “system” in place is that the woman and subsequent children take the man’s name.”

Lol! That “system” isn’t even completely standard throughout Europe, and it quite recent in many places, including parts of Europe (including Scandinavia). Most people of Mexican ancestry i know use two last names, the Russians use a different system, etc., etc. There are so many people here from various places who may or may not do what is typical where they’re from, women with established careers, etc., and almost no one cares.

”Some people have an issue with that because of patriarchy, Christianity, whatever, but then they still engage in a bunch of other traditions tied to the same “problem” - like getting married in the first place”

Are you seriously saying that women who don’t want to change their name are being “inconsistent” if they’re religious, or even get married? That makes zero sense. Naming conventions are not in and of themselves related to religion. Indeed, the naming convention you describe is much more modern than Christianity specifically. Plenty of people are religious but don’t feel the need to change their name upon marriage. And of course, people have been getting married for far, far longer than there have been any “naming conventions”. This “logic”, lol, makes absolutely no sense.

”It just seems like a lot of people don’t do the name thing as an hollow “fuck the system” and then change nothing else about their behavior, and I think that’s virtue signaling AND boring.”

(1) Women don’t change their names on marriage for all sorts of reasons, and ”fuck the system” isn’t typically even on the list.

(2) Change their behavior? What does that even mean? What are they doing that is needing “change”?Women are not allowed to get married or be religious if they don’t want to change their names when they get married? That isn’t remotely logical - you claim to value logic and consistency” but this is all just a red herring.

(3) Using the name you were born with isn’t “virtue signaling” - it’s literally the path of least resistance. You, on the other hand, are virtue signaling, trying to claim some kind of moral superiority with your fake “logic”, when actually you just want to control women.

(4) Boring? I didn’t know name choice was supposed to be “exciting”.

”If you don’t like the system, get creative, do your own thing, y’know?”

Why? I don’t need to be creative - I have a name, everyone has known me by it my whole life. My kids don’t care, and it never caused confusion. Some of their friends had parents with different names, and no one cared about that, either.

You’re out here alternately saying kids are going to be harmed by their mother not changing her name (they’re not) and people are going to be confused (they’re really not, but if they are, that’s their problem) and telling women that if they don’t want to change their name, then they can’t get married and they can’t be religious.

The biggest problem with the patriarchy is telling women what they have to do, and that’s what you’re doing. Women don’t need to “prove” themselves to you by refusing to get married or not being religious, nor do they need to take their husband’s name if they don’t want to. They can do what they want, and your opinion on that doesn’t matter because it’s not your name.

It’s not that you’re not communicating well - it’s that your arguments aren’t actually logical. You just want to tell women what to do.

Of course, you’re obviously a bot just trying to stir things up, anyway - real people don’t hide their posting history.

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Original-Locksmith58@reddit

I’m gonna assume you’re a kid, because you’ll definitely learn better with time. Try not to get so worked up, champ.

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rkb70@reddit

Lol! You’re actually hysterical now. 🤣😂

You have clearly never been a married woman who didn’t change her name and/or you live in an incredibly old-fashioned place and have never spent time around people who are different from you at all.

T_so_fly@reddit

I have no middle name. US born to US born parents. I was the only person with no middle name in my HS graduation class out of 200 students.

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TheBlazingFire123@reddit

I knew some Africans without a middle name

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AlpsHelpful1292@reddit

I teach mainly Hispanic students and about 20% do not have middle names.

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HessianHunter@reddit

In Latin American culture one or two "first" names and two "last" names is typical. Those aren't exactly middle names but for convenience on government forms the second given name is usually just listed as their middle name.

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Imthatguy2002@reddit

No middle name here, just checking in

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hypo-osmotic@reddit

Neither is legally mandatory, although both are so common that there can be the occasional logistical problem if you don't. E.g. paperwork that expects a middle name/initial or security intervention if one of the parents has a different last name from their child

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ElleM848645@reddit

There is no issue with someone having a different last name then their child. It’s never been an issue once for me. Schools, doctors, coaches all know who the parents are. I’ve flown with my kid and it’s never been an issue. It’s also very common for women to keep their name in the northeast.

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MarkNutt25@reddit

Its funny, when I got married, my wife's family were the ones pressuring her to take my last name. While me and my family were fine with whatever she chose!

Surprisingly, my grandma was super supportive of her keeping her maiden name. It turns out, she had wanted to keep her maiden name when she married my grandpa, but was kind of bullied by his mother into changing it.

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Intermountain-Gal@reddit

Before I begin, I love your country! It’s so beautiful!

When it comes to the U.S. you need to keep in mind that we are a large, diverse country. We are diverse in every way you can imagine, because we have people from every country in the world, plus our native populations. So when anyone tells you “all” Americans translate that to “some”!

I’m not saying this to embarrass you (I hope you aren’t). It’s just that I’ve discovered that a lot of Europeans don’t really grasp just how big and diverse we are.

To answer your question: Not everyone has middle names. It’s much more common than when my mother was a girl. Back then they figured a girl’s maiden surname would become her middle name when she married. That isn’t a sure thing any longer. More and more women are keeping their maiden names, at least professionally.

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PretzelCat17@reddit

Does everyone and do all? Definitely not. But it’s certainly extremely common to have a middle name. I personally don’t know anyone who doesn’t. I know more people that have two middle names than have zero.

im pretty sure practically everyone in america has a middle name, i guess itd be possible to not have one if they came from somewhere they're uncommon or nonexistent.

and yeah most women take their husband's surname but occassionally theyll add it to their last name (i.e. a woman named ms. smith marries a man named mr. jones, she might change her name to mrs. smith-jones) or the husband will take her surname, though thats very rare

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Oliverboliver64@reddit

No. But everyone is personally know does. No. It's still pretty traditional but I didn't and I got married 36 years ago. Many professional women don't but some do.

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Sbarb1000@reddit

Does anyone know the history of giving a child a middle name in the US?

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StormCloudRaineeDay@reddit

No and no. Middle names are not required and not everyone has one. I have no idea about numbers or percentages, but I don't think it's rare to not have a middle name.

My grandfather's family were from rural Arkansas and none of them had middle names. No one ever gave a reason why, they just weren't given one when they were registered.

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On_my_last_spoon@reddit

The other end of that is my Grandmother was British and she had 3 middle names! And she used her 3rd middle name in life.

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Majestic-Ad-6702@reddit

I know a few Chinese-American families who do English first names and Chinese middle names. I'm not sure I've ever met a Chinese American with an English first and middle.

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On_my_last_spoon@reddit

What was interesting is that I believed everyone had a Chinese name, but it wasn’t a legal name unless they were born in China or Hong Kong. And even then I’m not sure.

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Stupid_Snowmeiser@reddit

It’s pretty interesting to see the different cultural tendencies. I have a friend who moved here with his family from from the Middle East and he has several middle names.

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Atex3330@reddit

That second point is state dependent as I frustratenly found out. In Texas you can not change your name to anything you want. As a woman I had the option to keep my maiden, hyphenate, or take his last name. His was hyphenated from birth and we wanted to use just one of the names. Nope, had to do a legal name change.

That's surprising. At least that NJ actually made something easier for once. When I got married, I could name myself whatever I wanted.

I have a middle name, my wife that didn’t take my last name explained to me that I was spelling my middle name wrong my whole life

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sprachkundige@reddit

I was going to say among my peer group, most women don't, but I was surprised at the statistics posted here so I decided to check. I got married last year myself, so I have a handy list of all my friends from our guest list. Of the married couples in my generation:

19 couples (16 m-f, 2 m-m), neither spouse changed their last name*
10 m-f couples, the wife took the husband's name.*
1 m-f couple, the husband took the wife's name.
2 couples (both m-f), the wife uses her maiden name in some situations and her husband's name in others. I don't know, in either case, whether they changed their name legally or not.
1 couple (f-f) created a new last name that both changed to.
1 couple (m-f), she hyphenated, he didn't.

*As far as I know. It's possible that some of these 19 & 10 couples are actually "sometimes" instead of always "no" or "yes," but I am only aware of the one usage.

I did not change my name and plan to continue to go by my maiden name, but I would not be upset if someone (especially, if we have kids, people who know us through them, as they will likely have his last name) called me Mrs. Husband'sName. We also sometimes refer to ourselves together as the "PortmanteauNames" mostly as a joke but we're also fine with that being used for us collectively.

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Zippity-Boo-Yah@reddit

I didn’t am have a middle name but I do now, as when I got married I did change my last name and now my maiden name is legally my middle name.

One of my sisters has a middle initial only. The other sister has an actual middle name. Funny how we have all 3 options.

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byte_handle@reddit

1 - Does everyone have a middle name in the USA?

No. Many do, but not all.

2 - Do all women take their husband’s surname?

No. Most do. Some hyphenate it with their previous last name, and some just keep it whatever it was.

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geaddaddy@reddit

My wife does not have a middle name and did not change her name when we got married.

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soulsista04us@reddit

No and no. America is huge 350+ million people of all types of cultures and background.

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currencyofcats@reddit

Myself and my four siblings all have middle names, some of them have a couple middle names! I also sometimes go by my middle name as I like it more than my first name. As a woman, I did not take my husbands last name as I think it’s dumb and archaic, but many women still do. It’s the assumption that you will or did, much to my annoyance 😅

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thesweetestberry@reddit

Everyone I know has a middle name.

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Subterranean44@reddit

Most of the Americans I know without middle names are from Spanish speaking families. Specifically Mexico. But many of the have middle names as well 🤷 I think it’s more common to have one in the USA than not.

Not everyone has a middle name, no.

My wife and I have the same name, but not because she took mine. We both hyphenated [my last name]-[her last name], which goes against tradition in at least 2 ways.

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atxlonghorn23@reddit

Do you realize that middle names (or at least having multiple given names) used to be very common in Italy too? Apparently the practice of giving a middle name has only died out in the last 30 to 40 years.

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redwaorok@reddit

Yes it is and some of us have two middle names.

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drnewcomb@reddit

On documents you sometimes see “NMI” in place of a middle name or initial. It means “No middle initial”.

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Greedy_Pomegranate14@reddit

Yes everyone has a middle name, but it’s never used except for the odd government or hospital form.

So the OP's question is overbroad, but I'm sure they didn't mean whether literally every single person in the United States has a middle name, and literally every single woman in the United States changes their name when they get married. Most people who post here realize that not every one of the more then 350 million Americans does the exact same thing, just like not every one of the people in their country does the exact same thing. There are always outliers and exceptions.

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front_torch@reddit

My wife took my surname.

We also coincidentally have nearly the same middle names.

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Intrepid_Practice956@reddit

I was taking dance lessons around the time I got married. My teacher, a relatively young boomer who kept her maiden name, was surprised and found it very difficult to remember I was changing my name. I haven't checked in with her recently...I wonder how she's doing.

One of my doctors has published papers and kept her maiden name. She said its a big procedure to get her married name linked to her papers, so its much easier to just stay with her maiden name. I don't remember a lot of details as she told me about this 10 years ago.

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aquay@reddit

no. no.

i've noticed that non-religious people tend to not have middle names, compared to reglious. a guy i dated used to write 'NMN' on forms. i had to ask if that was short for norman or something. it means 'no middle name.' that's messed up.

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Novel-Damage9370@reddit

I’m going to respond to your middle name question as I think the comments have thoroughly addressed the surname question. I’ve known maybe one person who did not have a middle name. I’ve also known a whole family whose tradition was to have two middle names in addition to first and last names. But overall, I think it’s most common in American culture for people to have first, middle, and last names.

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These-Ad5332@reddit

Not everyone. But it is common to have one or more middle names.

Not all women. Some women do take their husbands last name, some hyphenate, some keep their name.

In older generations it was very commen for women to have a first and last name then upon marrying use their maiden name as a middle name. Younger generations are actively working to change that.

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Southern-Interest347@reddit

Most everyone has a middle name because they're free. And no not all women take their husbands last name but most do, sometimes they hyphenate it.

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There are some people without a middle name. I know of only 2 that I know of. I'm sure there are more, but talking about middle names just doesn't always come up in conversation.

No, not all women take their husbands surname. It's becoming more common not to. It's a personal choice. However, if a woman has advanced degrees or a career prior to becoming married, changing their name may affect recognition in their field. And sometimes name recognition is important.

I do know some women that kept their surname after marriage. Had kids. The kids had the dad's surname. Then that caused drama with contacting the school. So then they hyphenated their surname and husband's surname.

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Lachtaube@reddit

My husband has multiple middle names so I didn’t take his last name.

JK I didn’t take his last name because my last name is cool. He does have multiple middle names for some reason.

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ticklishintent@reddit

Neither my brother or I had middle names. So there are some of us out there. But it's rarer for sure.

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Mayor_of_BBQ@reddit

I’ve only ever known one person who had no middle name…

Funny enough, she was married and had not taken her husband’s last name

Icy_Huckleberry_8049@reddit

no and no

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Ana_Na_Moose@reddit

Typically, if a woman marries a man, she takes his surname. Also, most Americans have middle names.

But neither of these points is universal. For example, my mom didn’t have a middle name at birth. When she married my dad, she took his surname, but added her maiden name as her middle name.

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acciodragons@reddit

I took my husband’s last name because I liked it better than mine.

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SpunkyBlah@reddit

Most people have middle names in the US. Some women change their names when they get married, but not all. Sometimes both married partners change their names to have hyphenated last names.

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forever-salty22@reddit

Most people do. My mother did not have a middle name and it caused a lot of problems for her when filling out documents

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cheekmo_52@reddit

Not everyone in America has a middle name. We have too many different cultures here for anything to apply to “everyone” except taxes. That said, middle names are exceedingly common. More than 80% of children born in the US are given middle names.

Likewise, not every married couple takes the husband’s last name. There are same sex marriages where there could be two husbands or no husbands. However, is still a common practice in opposite-sex marriages for the wife to take her husband’s surname, (80% do) but it is becoming less widespread with each new generation. Today, it isn’t out of the ordinary for for each person to retain their own surname, or to hyphenate both surnames, and while rare it is sometimes the case that the husband takes the wife’s surname too.

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TheMrsH1124@reddit

Y'all don't have middle names anymore??? Just trashed the whole Roman custom huh? Sorry Marcus Tullius Cicero you're just Mark now

Anyways to your question - middle names is not really so much an American thing as an English language/culture thing (though the French seem to go to the other extreme and have a great many names per person). Since it's a long standing cultural tradition, it's still one here in America.

Lillie-Bee@reddit

I dropped my birth middle name and took my maiden name as my middle name.

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Kamena90@reddit

Most people have at least one middle name. A lot of women still change their surname, but it's a lot more acceptable than it used to be to do something different.

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TopperMadeline@reddit

No, and no. On the second one, it’s becoming more common for women to keep their maiden names.

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I don’t have one. In my family it was tradition to take your husband’s surname and then your maiden surname would become your middle name. I’m not married so I just don’t have a middle name, but my brothers all have one.

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blackunycorn@reddit

The vast majority have a middle name, and many people have more than one middle name. It’s especially common in Hispanic culture to have multiple middle names but not exclusively.

Many women, maybe even most, change to their husband’s name when marrying. It’s considered normal but verging toward very slightly old-fashioned. When I got remarried, I strongly considered keeping my maiden name, but I love my husband’s name and it’s uncommon, so I took it.

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Having_A_Day@reddit

The vast majority of Americans have a middle name, yes. In older generations it was more common to not have one, these days with the way our ID systems and databases are set up it's a necessity.

JurisUrsus@reddit

Most people I know have a middle name.

Not all women take husband’s name. I know many who haven’t.

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ConstantlyCryingGirl@reddit

I have always had a middle name, but when I got married I legally changed middle name to my maiden name and then took my husbands last name.

yelhmoo@reddit

I like my last name and didn’t want to change it. It’s more common for it to be an automatic thing, but it’s becoming more common for both parties to choose together, or for both to keep their original last names

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My aunts didn't have middle names!

But that was because of a tradition in my area of the South where women take their husbands surname, and then change their middle names to their maiden name.

MonopolowaMe@reddit

My husband has two middle names and I kept my name when we got married. We’re an anomaly.

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citygirl_M@reddit

I never changed my name and never had to undergo the hassle of changing it, but I kept my name because it is … my name.

My husband kept his name, too.

We did give our kids his last name, but I have a friend who hyphenated her own name but gave their daughters her last name, and their sons his.

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violetcat2@reddit

Most people here have a middle name. The majority of wives take their husband's surnames. However the govt is trying to pass a law that puts a tax on people who change their last name by making them buy a passport if their driver's license doesn't match their birth certificate. For this reason I go by my husband's last name socially for continuity sake, so people can tell we're married, but legally on documents I have my maiden name.

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Aquarius_K@reddit

Americans like middle names so much my parents gave me two.

And you know why not, its only 26 letters and 3 spaces altogether 🙄 LOL I named my kid Katy and gave her the father's last name because it's only 5 letters.

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ehhhhhhwatevs@reddit

Most people have a middle name that is another first name (meaning a personal name and not a family name). Like John Michael or Jane Marie. In the southeast US, there is an old tradition where a child gets the mother's maiden surname from before she was married as a middle name. With this, the child may end up with 2 first names and 2 last names (family names). If that person is female, she would replace her father's family name with her husband's family name when she gets married but keep both middle names.

So if a woman whose father's family name (her maiden name) is Smith marries a man whose family name is Jones, her last name changes from Smith to Jones. If she has a baby girl, she might name her daughter Jane Marie (first and middle) Smith (mom's maiden name) Jones (dad's family name). No hyphen, the last name is Jones. 4 names.

It is true that people in the U.S. almost universally have middle names which they are given a birth. It's so common that we don't think about it.

Seidhr96@reddit

No and no. It varies by personal preference.

parts of Eastern Europe is where I've noticed that's common.

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leeloocal@reddit

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Oh and that’s not even recent immigrants who have first name being a cultural name and middle name an American name (or vice versa) because the parents want to give them options. I’d not be surprised to meet someone named: MiNyu Grace Kim

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thomsenite256@reddit

Not everyone but most do to both.

I think the surname thing is funny. The reason I think people still do is to avoid confusion with kids since they will generally have the same last name as both parents that way.

I dunno how it works in Italy but in Spain you take essentially both of your grandparents last names so I feel like that is more old fashioned as if it mattered what lineage you came from.

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Counterpoint: Raised Catholic, still had a middle name from birth. During confirmation, I got to pick a third name as my saint name, and it became like my secret name because it was never written down anywhere except the religious paperwork.

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bureau-caterpillar@reddit

The best, smartest women keep their maiden name when they get married.

Most folks have a middle name.

Whether a woman takes her husband’s name or not is a personal choice. It used to be the norm, but starting end of last century then the choice to retain the Maiden name became common too.

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Kyle81020@reddit

No.

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Street-Length9871@reddit

Most people have middle names, but not everyone, and a lot of women take their husband's name, but not everyone, and this trend is declining. (not Middle Names)

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ksoloki@reddit

most have middle names, and most women still change their name.

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Jdevers77@reddit

Does everyone have a middle name in the USA? No, but most do.

Do all women take their husband’s surname? Not all women are married and not all married women take their husband’s surname, but most do (although less and less over time).

The US is the third most populous country on Earth. It’s also the only top 3 populated country that is basically an immigrant country. You will find people here from every single part of the planet and not in a “look, we have 4 people from Uzbekistan!” kind of way. There are full blown substantial communities of people from all over the world. There is no “ever” or “all” when it comes to the US. You will find people who cover not just every country and culture on the planet but people whose beliefs range across every possible spectrum. It’s what makes living here so awesome and also what makes living here so awful (depending on who you ask).

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justovaryacting@reddit

I did take my husband’s last name and made my maiden name into a second middle name even though it’s not the practice in his family’s culture for women to change their family names when they marry (we’re a multiracial/cultural couple). I made the choice so that I’d have the same last name as our children; I knew that it was likely that they wouldn’t look much like me (I was mostly right). It’s been much easier this way for travel and general “everyday life” purposes.

As for middle names, I’ve always had one (and now two!). My husband does not. Our kids technically do, but their middle names are their given names in my husband’s native language, so decidedly not American.

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MrDBS@reddit

American middle names can be a way to give a child options. I know more than a few people who use their middle names instead of their first. My parents gave my brother a more common middle name in case his first name was too unusual (He turned out to be one of five kids with his first name in kindergarten.)

I'm the only one of my sisters with a middle name. Their mom didn't think they needed one and mine wanted to give me one, so I have a middle name.

I haven't legally taken my husband's name yet only because it's a really difficult process to obtain my birth certificate and be able to legally change it, but I do use it socially. So on social media or when I'm being introduced to people I use his last name but when it comes to legal paperwork I still use my maiden name.

I personally don't see it as old-fashioned or anything, I just see it as a preference. Some people want to change their name when they get married, others don't. Someone want to hyphenate their name with their spouses and someone want to create a whole new name for them and their spouse altogether. It's just whatever works for each couple individually.

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Elivagara@reddit

Most people have middle names. I have three, but that's weird. Most women take their husband's last name, but not all. Some keep their maiden name, some hyphenate, and occasionally a couple mashes up their last names to make a new one. Sometimes the man takes the wife's name, though that's not very common.

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stellarduchess@reddit

Most people have middle names. I did not take my husband’s last name.

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MoriKitsune@reddit

The majority of people from the USA have middle names; I've never met someone without one, and I know several people with more than one!

Also, while taking their husband's surname is the norm, it is becoming increasingly common for women to keep their maiden name after marrying (I kept mine 😊)

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This-Reindeer6063@reddit

No and no.

I have a middle name but there are many people that don't, it's not uncommon to not have a middle name.

And while id assume most women do, many men take their wife's last name or they hyphenate.

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Book_Slut_90@reddit

Most people have middle names, and some have more than one. It’s common for married women to take their husbands’ names, but a fair number of people don’t, and a fair number hyphenate. Also a very small number of married men take their wives names or hyphenate.

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GreatRecipeCollctr29@reddit

The other 20% keep their maiden name as a first surname- husband's surname because they want to.keep it for personal reasons.

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anothercynic2112@reddit

Wait, in Italy women don't all have the middle name Marie? Because your American cousins all do.

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captainstormy@reddit

There are very few things that are true of all Americans.

But most Americans tend to have a middle name. It's very common in our culture. Most women take their husbands name when they get married, but not everyone. Some don't change their name at all, some hyphenate. I know a couple that both changed their last name to something completely different and made a new last name. I even know a case where the husband took the wife's name.

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alwaysboopthesnoot@reddit

No, and no. There’s tradition, then variations, but no hard and fast rule nor any mandate that requires someone to do things a certain way.

Not everyone has a middle name or initial. Some people have middle names plus other names as part of their full, legal name.

Hyphenated surnames aren’t the majority but aren’t uncommon, either. Some will incorporate confirmation (“saints names”) or other family names such as a mothers maiden name or a grandmother/fathers first name.

Some people have their mother’s maiden name as their first name, then use their father’s surname as their last name. Some take their mother’s maiden name as their last mane, rather than her married (ie; their father’s), surname.

Some married women take their husbands name, others keep their maiden names, or use both, or even alternate between them at different times; maybe using their maiden name at work, their married name at school events or for hospital visits or admits for their kids, etc.

Some couples whether opposite or sane sex, combine both their surnames and both will take them as their new, legal last names.

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Angsty_Potatos@reddit

My mother doesn't have a middle name.

Full-Grass-5525@reddit

I’m a teacher and most students have a middle name. The only ones who don’t are usually international students or families who are immigrants. I just got married and did not change my last name. I have zero interest in the work to change my passport, SS, all the forms, etc etc.

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Spirited-Way2406@reddit

Middle names are so expected that some people have picked one in adulthood because various bureaucratic offices kept sending their paperwork back marked Incomplete for lack of a middle name.

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MilsYatsFeebTae@reddit

My wife changed her name for her first marriage, but kept her maiden name when we got married. Changing it back was a pain in the ass, she said, and made her professional life a bit more difficult. Plus it just wouldn’t sound good.

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Sad-Conclusion-6160@reddit

I know somebody who had no middle name. When he got married in California, where marriage licenses come with 2 free name changes, he added one just so he could say something in a dramatic voice with one eyebrow raised.

His middle name is Danger.

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Other-Resort-2704@reddit

Most US citizens have a middle name.

I would say most women taken on their husband’s surname when they get married. Unless the wife has some established career where they have published multiple academic papers or they some famous entertainer like Britney Spears didn’t change her name when she got married.

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OhWhyNotMarie@reddit

Nope and nope. Some people have multiple middle names. My fiancés name is Hawaiian and is 10 words.

Astro_Birch_317@reddit

Middle names are much more common than not, but they aren't required and I know quite a few people without. There is also no limit on how many middle names someone has, so I know a few people with multiple.

It is traditional for women to take their husband's surname, but women are increasingly choosing not to. Again, there's no requirement to do it. It's also common for women to add their husband's name to their own, either hyphenated or not. Actually, some men will take their wife's surname. Other couples will pick an entirely new surname, either by combining parts of both of their names or choosing something else meaningful.

A lot of people will follow the naming customs of wherever their family originated before immigration to the US (or indigenous customs, in other instances). But since there are very few rules, some people just get creative because they can.

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almondsmana@reddit

I got married 11 years ago and didn’t change my last name.

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foxy_chicken@reddit

Are people a monolith? Does everyone do the same things?

I’ve known people who have middle names. Who don’t have middle names. Who have multiple middle names.

I’ve known people who keep their name when they marry. People who change it. People who hyphenate it. People who combine it into a unique name for their new family.

We are a combination of a bunch of different cultural traditions, and you cannot paint everyone with the same brush.

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AdministrationTop772@reddit

" Is it considered normal or kind of old fashioned?"

It's considered normal but in a lot of places it's not unusual to avoid doing it.

Though I assure you, it's not an American-specific thing, it's common in Anglophone countries. It's usually done in England, Canada (except Quebec), Australia, etc..

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Hortusana@reddit

Middle names - never met anyone who didn’t. Lots of us have 2.

Last name change - very common but not universal. My mother never changed her name, and my parents were married in 1980. Still happily married.

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upnytonc@reddit

In my experience, most people have a middle name. I think I have only ever known 1 person without a middle name. Also a good majority of us never use our middle name, exception being legal documents. Even then, a middle initial is often used.

Also, yes most women take their spouse’s last name.

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jessnschmur1@reddit

I have three middle names.

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ChaosTorpedo@reddit

I’ve met very few people that do not have a middle name. One lady didn’t, but when she fills out forms online that require it, she just writes X. Another lady had the middle name of L… just the letter.

queenchubkins@reddit

My husband does not have a middle name and I did not take his surname. So, no to both.

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os2mac@reddit

I've seen in at least once case where the man took the woman's last name. I have a brother who hypenated their names for the kids because the wife was an only child and her father really wanted to continue the family name.

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4Q69freak@reddit

My wife took my last name, When she was married to her ex-husband she hyphenated her name. Also her niece has two middle names.

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LadySilvie@reddit

I've only ever met two people without a middle name -- my great grandmother, because she was from a very large, farming family where they didn't give a shit (she decided to pick B. as a middle initial when it was required for some paperwork once, and her sister started calling her "Bob" because of it lol)... and one girl in school. When we discovered she didn't have a middle name, everyone was shocked and we couldn't figure it out haha.

I'd say the majority of heterosexual people I know who got married did have the women take the men's last names; it is also pretty common for women to take hybrid names (so if she was a Bennett and he was a Smith, she might take Bennett-Smith as her new last name). Women who are really devoted to their careers and got married later often keep their original name since it is a pain in the ass to update your name professionally.

I took my husband's name because I didn't like my last name originally (it was meme-able and I didn't want to subject our kids to it) and I had yet to enter my career field at the time, but I did take my "maiden" name as a second middle name for genealogical purposes. So I went from "Lady Reddit Silvie" to "Lady Reddit Silvie Marriedname" but write my name as "Lady Marriedname" casually.

Most homosexual marriages I know have both people update their surnames to be hyphenated combinations of both original surnames, though I have several friends who just made up new last names wholecloth. (So Bob Smith and John Doe could become "Bob and John Doe-Smith", or "Bob and John Rose".

I will say that our society is definitely still built on the idea of Firstname Middlename Lastname with married women taking their husband's name and never getting divorced. I work at a Fortune 500 (very large) technology company as IT and name changes are somehow STILL a pain in the ass to update across the system, every time. Having a child with a last name that doesn't match your own (such as if you didn't take your husband's name, but your child did) can cause security complications at school or the doctor. A middle name or initial is often a required field on online government or other forms.

It is common enough (at least in the surname situation) that there are processes to account for it, but they cause an extra hassle that people who do the traditional thing don't have to deal with.

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Romaine2k@reddit

I said I was going to take my husband’s name then I never did the paperwork. I’m glad I was lazy since the republicans are disenfranchising women whose ID doesn’t match their birth certificate.

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Wild_Cockroach_2544@reddit

I never had a middle name until I got married and started using my maiden name there.

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xRVAx@reddit

Most but not all

Some people only have a middle initial

Puerto Ricans have lots of middle names because of family naming conventions.

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ghostlikecharm@reddit

A lot of women in the past would drop their middle names and change it to their maiden name.

A lot of old school Catholics I know would use their confirmation name as a middle name (at least according to my mom who did both)

Every one I know has a middle name. Idkw🤷🏻‍♀️

I have a middle name and I chose not to take my husbands name when I got married…

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kswilson68@reddit

Many of our female friends, for career purposes, chose to keep their own surnames too.

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My family began using middle names when they emigrated to the US from Ireland. My aunt, first generation American, was the first in the family with a middle name.

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Lisserbee26@reddit

Yeah similar story here. Mu aunts have the same middle name lol

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Almost everyone has one. A relatively small number of people have more than one. A relatively small number of people don't have one.

It's just way easier in life here if you do have one but harder again if you have more than one.

Almost every identification form you fill out has space for a first name middle name and last name if it's something serious like a government form. If you enter a raffle, you don't need your middle name.

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LogicalAd2334@reddit

I feel like it's 50/50 on middle names (I notice it more among women than men) and most women seem to take their husband's last name, although I think we may see a shift in that from women on the left due to the SAVE act. Hopefully a dramatic shift.

Most Americans have a middle name. Most women take their husband's name.

Not having a middle name can occasionally be annoying with badly designed forms that make it mandatory, people often enter "X" or "NMN" in these situations.

I've heard that in Italy your signature is expected to be your full legal name, so having a middle name is a hassle. This is not true in the US, and in fact there's no expectation that your signature is even legible.

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Constellation-88@reddit

Middle names are super common here, but there are some who don’t have it. In older generations, it was super common for a woman to take her hubby’s name, but in younger generations it is split.

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bargainbinwisdom@reddit

I don't have a middle name but afaik all of my extended family does. My parents just didn't feel like it, but having a middle name is definitely more common.

Women taking their husbands surname is still the most common but it's definitely more variable. I've met married couples that have both just kept their own, hyphenated and used both, they decided the wife's last name sounded better/more unique so the husband took that one, husband didn't have a good relationship with his family so he took his wife's name, and neither had a good relationship with their family or just thought the names were boring so they made up a new one together.

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Queermagedd0n@reddit

No, I didn't have a middle name until I legally changed my name.

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jephph_@reddit

My mom doesn’t have a middle name (and she’s plain ol Generican who has roots in this country since pre-Revolution).. She was the youngest of 6 and maybe her mom just ran out of ideas for a middle name, idk

She had three kids and we all have middle names

At least 3/4 of people have middle names, and at least 3/4 of women take their husband’s last name.

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JimBeam823@reddit

“From what I’ve read online, it seems like in the US everyone has a middle name. Is it true or is it just some people that have one? I’m from Italy and here almost nobody has a middle name, so it feels like a very unique thing to me.”

Most people have middle names. Sometimes it’s another “first name”. Sometimes it’s a family name.

“I was also wondering if women still change their surname to their husband’s after they get married. How do you feel about it? Is it considered normal or kind of old fashioned?”

It’s the usual custom, but is declining in popularity.

That being said, it was NEVER the custom in Spanish/Latin American culture, and a lot of the drop in women taking their husbands surname is due to the rise in Latino population, not necessarily due to changing attitudes.

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-Boston-Terrier-@reddit

It's common place for both but it's not universal.

I don't have a middle name but that's because I'm a Jr. and my dad didn't have a middle name. My siblings all do.

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Donald_J_Duck65@reddit

No, and no. I know many people without a middle name, both of my sisters for example.

Some women maintain their maiden name, some hephenate it, and others take their spous's name.

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JasminJaded@reddit

It’s common to have a middle name, and it’s common to take your husband’s last name and make your maiden name your middle name.

I wasn’t given a middle name and I didn’t take my husband’s last name, so my name, married and 46 years old, is same as what’s on my birth certificate.

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OperationDapper3565@reddit

I took my husband's name because it is generally easier, especially when you have children. I regret not changing it back when he passed away.

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Darkdragoon324@reddit

No and no. Lots of people like to give their kids a middle name honoring a relative, but not everyone.

owlbeastie@reddit

I dont have a middle name and did not take my husband's name.

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iknowyouneedahugRN@reddit

Middle names: majority yes. It can be a source of contention depending on the name or origin of the name.

Example: a branch of the family has a tradition where all males have the same middle name with a less common pronunciation of that name. It is not a name that most people would immediately vote as a modern or even classic name. There is no origin known (like were they a war hero? Did they save an entire town from famine?).

Another example is when a middle name is a rhythmic choice where the first name and middle name are used together (Mary Jane, Peggy Jo, John Paul, Christopher Robin, John Luke, Billy Ray...)

Some people use the middle name to honor/name the kid after a previous generation person. There can be a sense of pride that the kid has that name. It can also be a godparent's name.

Great_Value_Trucker@reddit

Dont think ive met anyone who doesnt have a middle name. I know many people who have multiple middles names. As for women taking their husbands name? I did not and im so happy I didnt. Most women do thought but its not super shocking in this day and age if a woman doesnt.

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Pinikanut@reddit

I never met someone born in the US that didn't have a middle name. It happens but I'd say the vast majority do. Maybe 80-85%?

Snezzy_9245@reddit

Yes, "Arthur Bromley Snuffleson, yóu stop that right now!" Arthur has been spoken to.

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_iusuallydont_@reddit

Not everyone has a middle name but most do. My mom is one of five and her youngest sister is the only one with a middle name. So, it just depends. I think most women still take their husband’s name when they get married. All of my friends have except one.

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CaryWhit@reddit

I did hospital billing work for decades. I definitely saw a few NMN’s typed in the line. Mostly old country folks

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MrPrettyKitty@reddit

No. Also no.

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My middle name is my birth name. I took an anglicized name when I was young to make it easier for people to remember.

My wife didn't change her family name, for career reasons. She has academic publications and professional name recognition, so we didn't consider the loss worth it.

Maybe half the people I know changed their names to make child-raising easier. They faced fewer questions about their relationship to their kids, especially with mixed race couples.

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madogvelkor@reddit

Middle names are pretty standard, at least for White and Black Americans. We also tend to force Spanish speakers to have them since our forms and systems don't handle multiple last names well.

A good number of people have multiple middle names, either officially or not. Catholics sometimes use their Confirmation name like a middle name, and some women getting married use their maiden name as a middle name.

Taking on the husband's last name is still common. Some people will hyphenate, especially in the upper classes. For professionals it's less common to take on your spouse's name as you might have a professional reputation under your current name. It's really rate in academia, since if you're published and change your last name you sort of break the connection to your work.

It is EXTREMELY rare for an American to not have a middle name. My dad doesn’t have one, actually, but he’s the only person I’ve ever met without one. Some people (especially Catholics) will even have two!

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soonerpgh@reddit

I know a couple guys who have no middle name. As for the women taking the husband's surname, that is optional and some choose not to. When my wife and I married, the cost and headache of getting all her documents changed just made no sense, so we left her name as it was. Paying a couple hundred dollars, fifty here, fifty there, and having to fill out all the required forms, then wait for said documents to arrive, then contact all her accounts, send them copies of the new legal documents... yeah, way too much hassle for something that inconsequential.

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Ok_Organization_7350@reddit

Yes, almost everyone in the US has a middle name. We have three names. First name is what people call you. Second name is an extra name either to sound pretty when spoken with the first name, or often named after a special family member. Last name is the surname.

When a woman gets married, she can do what she would like with her name. Often they will replace the third name/ previous surname with her husband's new name. Or sometimes her previous last name will be used as her middle name sometimes. Or they can keep all names for a total of four names.

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sunsetlighthouse@reddit

Not everyone has a middle name, but the vast majority do. I've only met a handful of people without a middle name, and most of them had origins in a different country. Most women do take their husbands' last names, but it's becoming less common with time

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BeepCheeper@reddit

On a slightly related note, there is a not uncommon Sourthern custom to name one of your sons Mom’s maiden name. I knew a Hoffler as a kid, it was his mother’s maiden name.

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Fun story. My grandfather only had a middle initial, but no name with it. My great grandmother saw a space for “middle initial” on the paperwork at the time (1930s) and gave him one, but never gave him a name to go with it. I always wonder if that happened to others his age.

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sparklestronaut@reddit

In my experience, most have middle names. It feels weird when you hear someone doesn’t have a middle name.

Most women change their name (myself and most of my friends included), but it is definitely becoming less common (all 3 of my SILs didn’t). For reference, I’m an elder millennial as are my friends, 2 of my 3 SILs are Gen Z. If I got married again today, I would probably consider keeping my name, whereas a decade ago when I got married it was more of a given.

My mom doesn't have a middle name. She was supposed to, but it was accidentally left off her birth certificate. (I'm sure there's a way to fix that, but it's been over 80 years, so she's used to it.)

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TipsyBaker_@reddit

I have multiple, because my parents are a pain in the ass. Technically 2 first and 2 middle. I never changed my name, because it's pretty pointless and in my family we just don't.

I knew fewer and fewer women who do change their name, especially those in their 20s. To me it's very colonial British coded, thanks to coveture, but even for them it wasn't even as mandatory as a lot of people today like to claim it must be

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txlady100@reddit

Most have middle names. The majority still take their husband’s name. But fewer with time.

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Fun-Dragonfly-4166@reddit

many people do. i do.

too me it just seemed like an opportunity for trouble. i have to book my travel using the exact name as on my passport.

Almost everybody has a middle name. Some don't especially parents who are immigrants, but people are typically a little shocked to find that out.

I think most women still take their husband's last name, that's still the default by some margin. But it's not surprising or uncommon anymore if they don't

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nc45y445@reddit

I’ve never met anyone who was shocked to learn that someone else didn’t have a middle name

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otetrapodqueen@reddit

My mom doesn't have a middle name and I know lots of women (including myself) who didn't change their names when they got married

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Most people have a middle name and fewer women change their name at marriage now than in the past but it’s quite common. My sisters took their husbands’ names but I kept my family name.

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mspolytheist@reddit

Everyone I know in the US has a middle name. At least half of the married women I know in the US did not take their husband’s name. I did not.

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nc45y445@reddit

The US is vast and diverse, it is hundreds of micro cultures

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Visual_Magician_7009@reddit

I’ve only met one American I knew didn’t have a middle name. Their father was from Italy.

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Perdendosi@reddit

I think you've gotten plenty of answers to your technical questions, OP, so I'll answer the last questions about whether I like a woman to change their name or not...

My wife didn't change her last name. I couldn't care less. She already had her Ph.D. and posted papers and didn't want to restart her reputation under a new name. She also has a unique last name, so it's easier for her to stand out in her crowded academic sphere with her old name. But even if her name were Jane Smith, and she said that she didn't want to define herself primarily as someone's partner but wanted her own individual identity, I would have been fine with that.

While it's sometimes a little more confusing when dealing with authorities or third-parties, or when talking about our child (who has my last name only ... our names hyphenated together sound AWFUL), it doesn't make that much difference. And the hassle of a name change / social security records, etc. wasn't worth it for us. And plenty of people know that kids may not have the same last name as their parents.

I am glad, though, that my daughter has my last name, because in the U.S. people can get creeped out by men who are involved in young girls' lives, and will often not believe that they're actually their daughter but instead being kidnapped....

Everyone but me! If your name is unusual enough, you get vastly diminishing returns adding to it. Hypolytia Framingham oprobably doesn't need to be Hypolytia Ann Framingham.

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Adorable_Dust3799@reddit

Most have at least one middle name. A lot of women take their husband's name.

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Alzeegator@reddit

AS mentioned most people in the US have middle names, I wasn't aware of the married women name statistics but my daughter kept her maiden name, if you choose to take your husband's surname you just start using it and if places like the driver's license bureau, bank, voting eg want proof your marriage certificate suffices.

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Razrgrrl@reddit

I think most people have middle names and it is still fairly common for straight married women to take their husband’s name. I’m queer and married, I took my wife’s name because I didn’t much like my previous name. Hers is kind of boring, though. We know some people who made up a new shared name.

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BookLuvr7@reddit

Those are two separate concepts. Lots of people have a middle name given to them by their parents at birth. Men and women have middle names.

1.) Most Americans have middle names. It isn't mandatory, and it might vary based on your family's ethnicity, but it is definitely the norm. Many things in the US specifically ask for the middle initial, and since it is so ubiquitous, some forms are not designed to properly handle those who don't have a middle name (or have more than one) can end up with weird results.

In my area, it’s fairly common for women to either not have middle names, or for parents to just give a thoughtless “placeholder” one (Marie, Anne, Elizabeth) with the expectation that they will eventually marry, drop their middle name, and use their “maiden” name as their middle name.

Most women in my area still do this, but I kept my name. My middle name is one of those “placeholder” ones, but I like it and make an effort to use it when I have the opportunity.

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redjessa@reddit

My parents did not give me or my sister a middle name. I know quite a few folks that don't have middle names, but most people do. It seems 50/50 these days on whether or not women are taking their husband's surname. I did and I have a middle name now. Before I was married, I was Redjessa Jones. Now, I'm Redjessa Jones Smith. I kept my original surname as a middle name. I didn't want to drop it entirely.

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InannasPocket@reddit

Most people I know have middle names, but a minority don't.

It's considered pretty normal to change your surname when getting married, but these days it's also not uncommon to keep your original surname (or go by your husband's surname socially but not legally change it, or both hyphenate their names), and outside of some very conservative/religious subcultures I don't hear about anyone facing judgement whatever they decide.

Personally I changed mine because I loathed my birth surname and in my state changing it on marriage is a very easy time to do it (your marriage license literally has a spot for "name after marriage" and both spouses can write whatever they want).

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Olderpostie@reddit

There has been only one president without a middle name, that being Harry S. Truman. The middle initial stood for nothing.

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ButterscotchOdd8257@reddit

Most have a middle name, yes.
Probably most women still take their husband's name, but not all.

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ancientastronaut2@reddit

No and No.

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Fun-Lengthiness-7493@reddit

I have a middle name. Of my four siblings, only one other has one. My wife kept her “maiden” name in honor of her father. My second kid has my wife’s family name as her middle name.

Most people have a middle name, some people (like me) have two. What the names are kind of depends on the family: some people want to name their kids after an important family member but don't want it to be their first name (either because it'd be confusing or they just don't like the name that much lol). Some people can't agree on just one name, so the middle name serves as a compromise.

Changing surnames after marriage also depends. It's still fairly common, but some women will choose to hyphenate their last names, and others prefer to keep their last name for any number of reasons. This is really a personal values kind of thing.

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BreadPuddding@reddit

Middle names are very common. It used to ber very common for women to make their maiden name their middle name when they married. Now many, though not a majority of, women keep their last name when they marry and do not take their husband’s. Some couples create a hyphenated name that they both take. My cousin and her husband decided to both take our shared grandfather’s last name (she’s my father’s sister’s daughter and was given her father’s last name but I guess didn’t want to keep it. Her parents are married, I don’t know her full reasoning).

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Unlucky_Meringue_631@reddit

I’m 64 and wasn’t given a middle name, kids would think my middle name must be really bad so they would try to find out what it was lol. My 3 daughters don’t have a middle name.

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sundial11sxm@reddit

I'm married and kept my maiden name and so did most of my friends.

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mdf7g@reddit

Most Americans have a middle name, but not everyone. We don't really use them, with the exception that some people prefer their middle name over their first name and then they use it exclusively.

Most women take their husband's name in marriage, but there's no obligation to do so, neither legally nor socially. If a woman is for example an author or a scientist, or has some other notoriety under her given name, it's not at all surprising or unusual for her to keep it. Only the very most conservative families would object to that.

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tsukiii@reddit

Most have a middle name, but not all. My dad doesn’t have one (his family is Japanese and middle names aren’t a thing in their culture).

I do and I did...but no, it's not mandatory.

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jc8495@reddit

Sometimes, it depends. You can do whatever you want so there is no one right answer

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DosZappos@reddit

Probably 90%+ have middle names. The women taking their husband’s surname is still pretty common, but becoming less so

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RelevantJackWhite@reddit

No to both. my stepmom has no middle name, and my wife kept her own name when we married

Both are unusual but I'd say not unheard of

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304libco@reddit

The majority of people have middle names in the US and the majority of women take their husband surname. With the middle name thing it’s common enough that I’m usually surprised when I meet someone without a middle name. And with the women, I’m usually pleasantly surprised when I meet women who kept their maiden name.