ULPT Coworker keeps asking why me and my husband use our canes
Posted by rabidpeniswizard@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 234 comments
I have a coworker who has been incredibly insensitive to me and my husband about the fact that we use canes. We are both in our early thirties but have lived rough lives and have loads of health issues, which is unusual to the average person. But not reasons to doubt us and be generally insensitive.
They regularly ask why we use them and when we explain he'll respond with, well I think y'all look healthy.
Is there anything I can do to massively inconvenience him or make him regret being alive? Hes actually said and done a lot more crap, but it's coming to a head here and this is the final straw.
No-Quality7947@reddit
My suggestion would be talkvto an employment attorney since there is mo HR about a hostile work environment.
pandapower63@reddit
“Why do you constantly ask me this same question?”
GrandRush@reddit
They won't question you in a wheelchair
Aggravating_Poem_393@reddit
Oh yes, they will. Plenty of people who use a Wheelchair get questioned.
GrandRush@reddit
They won't question after you tell them that your medical history is private, just like theirs ^.^
Aggravating_Poem_393@reddit
Wow, what reality are you living in?
You don’t even have to be in a wheelchair yourself to know that that’s not true. You just have to know one person closely that is in a wheelchair or uses one occasionally to know that people are fucking nosy and won’t leave you alone even if you tell them it’s not their business.
GrandRush@reddit
The kind of reality where no one cares enough to bother asking me :'(
potatodrinker@reddit
I still don't get it Heather. You're as fit as a fiddle. Why cane?
To carry the massive amount of patience I have to not beat you senseless over the head everytime you ask me this
_muck_@reddit
"Just wait until you're old enough to REALLY need it!"
Aggravating_Poem_393@reddit
I tell people that I’m not gonna make it to that age because I’m already feeling as bad as someone that age according to doctors the damage is just as bad as someone 75. I’ll be damned if I’m gonna suffer another 30 years.
Dufresne85@reddit
God I hate this response. I've been getting it since I was 18 and I said my back hurt (because I broke the fucking thing) and so many people would respond with a variation of that and it pissed me off every time. Still pisses me off 20+ years later. And my back still hurts.
ozma0419@reddit
Do you think if I show my rheumatoid disease my ID it'll just fuck off for another 25 years?
Dufresne85@reddit
The fuck does your rheumatoid arthritis have to do with anything we're talking about here?
ozma0419@reddit
Holayy just hostile. I was relating to people saying someone is too young for their aches, pains, and conditions. But go off, I guess
Dufresne85@reddit
I am so sorry. I was commenting back and forth with an asshole on another reddit about a medical thing and I responded to you by mistake. 100% my fault and I was the asshole here. I apologize.
ozma0419@reddit
No worries, my guy. It happens. All is forgiven. Go win you an argument.
ferrum-pugnus@reddit
Damn!!! Best answer!!
liquidify@reddit
Why don't you just tell them to stop asking or you'll report them to HR?
rabidpeniswizard@reddit (OP)
We don't have HR and HR is never on your side.
liquidify@reddit
That bites both ways. Sounds like you need to work it out with the person, or the boss. Why you wanna do something unethical? Have you tried telling the person to shut the fuck up?
rabidpeniswizard@reddit (OP)
Yeah and they keep asking and he fucks one of the managers so I'm not being heard. So I think making him regret being alive is my best route.
Aggravating_Poem_393@reddit
Ewwww I hope you find a safer place to work with mature individuals who know how to respect boundaries and compartmentalize their life properly
nixredux@reddit
You could always make a scene to make his harrassment very obvious. Next time he brings it up respond very loudly that you have been polite the last X number of times hes asked, but you've had your limit of answering his abelist and discriminatory questioning about your personal health.
Make it super uncomfortable for everyone and be very specific about times hes asked so he cant try to back out of it or gaslight you. Then go to HR and ask them to have a chat with him about his poor behavior and how it makes you feel singled out and uncomfortable.
Aggravating_Poem_393@reddit
No HR
UndecidedTace@reddit
"Our car was hit by a train as we rushed our baby to hospital. She died. Any more probing questions?"
Aggravating_Poem_393@reddit
That might shut him up, but it also brings some bad juju you don’t want to speak something into existence that’s negative
SugarFut@reddit
“Are you ok? This is like the fourth time we discussed this.” Then walk away.
NorthExplanation6507@reddit
"are you having memory problems?"
roflpotato@reddit
could be carbon monoxide poisoning
DrunkOnLoveAndWhisky@reddit
"Because y'all look healthy to me"
M3g4d37h@reddit
"And you look like shit, but here we are"
zobotsHS@reddit
I didn’t hit you on the head THAT hard, did I?
PixieStyx8@reddit
"You take 20 years of my life away every time you ask me that question"
gato-afortunado@reddit
Then whack them with the cane.
TampaBob57@reddit
Coworker?
Tell him to knock it off and that if he asks again you will go to HR (document it)
No HR?
Go to owner, make aware that there's are laws like ADA and HIPPA that the coworker is violating and by extension so is the owner if he doesn't do something about it now that he's aware (document that too).
No need to be unethical unless that's your thing, but using ethical practices will get you what you want and if they don't they could possibly put some dollars in your bank account.
rabidpeniswizard@reddit (OP)
Noted. We don't have HR, so I'll be going the second route.
Aggravating_Poem_393@reddit
OK since there’s no HR, why not go to the police and file a harassment suit?
rabidpeniswizard@reddit (OP)
In second thought, I know work place retaliation isn't legal but it happens. I worry about losing my job but ths dude asks probing questions and then is skeptical of our claims. I really try to be patient but it's become a more regular incident.
Verdigrian@reddit
Turn it around and make it about him. You had this conversation several times but he can't remember, is he ok? Did he notice issues with his memory in other areas? Does he need to be checked out by a doctor? You're starting to get very worried about him!
CatherinefromFrance@reddit
Excellent !
GloriouslyGrimGoblin@reddit
I mean, he generally looks ok to you. But there are lots of serious health problems that don't show on the outside, so you're concerned…
Verdigrian@reddit
And if he doesn't let up escalate gradually. Comment how he looks tired/not so good. Start asking if he's sick unprompted, ask if he got a check up yet. Then start commenting how he doesn't need to pretend, it's getting clear something is wrong with him, you're there if he needs someone to talk, and so on.
bottomlless@reddit
Did you brush your teeth this morning? Oh okay, then maybe a smell like that coming out of your mouth is a sign of something serious.
Area51Resident@reddit
"I'm not a doctor but I've heard breath odor like that can be a sign of advanced throat or lung cancer, might want to get that checked."
f1ve-Star@reddit
And ULPT move his stuff to make him and his coworkers concerned. Put his lunch in the freezer. Drop a leaking pen in his pants pocket (much easier than pickpocketing but practice first).
Quirky-Invite7664@reddit
This is a good idea.
OP, keep saying you’re concerned he has dementia. Then do things so he starts believing it! Every time he leaves his desk, move one item slightly. Take his pen and put it in the restroom. Little things like that to make him question his sanity.
Pomegranate_1328@reddit
I would have to start being a jerk back but I just turned 50 this year and kind of started to not care about making assholes mad anymore. I am sure he does not care he is being rude to you so you should stop being patient and let this jerk have it. Let him know it is none of his business and you are sick of him asking. You might look healthy but he is not a doctor and shut up.
jaxxon@reddit
Yeah. Your fucks jar runneth empty in your 40s.
Pomegranate_1328@reddit
EXACTLY! Well said!
oditogre@reddit
Is there a reason you can't just blow him off?
"We've discussed this before, and frankly it's none of your business."
Gertrudethecurious@reddit
then make him feel uncomfortable - my go to reply would be "we used such a big dildo up my arse last night that I can't walk". Maintain eye contact throughout, keep staring as your comment just hangs there.
k8username@reddit
Workplace retaliation is a legit concern imo. Verdigrian has the right of it. Explore his memory and cognitive problems in a ‘caring’ way if you think that’s safer.
Nother1BitestheCrust@reddit
It's not an ADA or HIPAA violation, but it is inappropriate and could be considered harassment. You should definitely say something to the owner if there's no HR.
AdequateSteve@reddit
Complain to their manager and explain that “if we had HR, this would be going to them, but I didn’t know who else to bring harassment complaints to”. Use the word harassment- if their manager manager has half a brain cell, they’ll understand that the employees behavior could be making this a hostile work environment and that people get sued for this shit all the time. If it continues, talk to a lawyer - especially if it impacts your work, your performance, or anything else. Document everything.
slutty_muppet@reddit
HIPAA doesn't apply here. It's a totally unrelated law.
TampaBob57@reddit
On reflection you are correct, but I would still mention it to keep in the spirit of being unethical.
slutty_muppet@reddit
It'll just make them sound like they don't know what they're talking about.
jaxxon@reddit
What a twist. They're telling OP to say something stupid to their boss. THAT is unethical.
thenewfingerprint@reddit
Mentioning things that aren't relevant just makes you look foolish.
TampaBob57@reddit
On reflection you are correct, but I'd still mention it just the same.
ryo3000@reddit
I see lot of people are giving you tips to handle you when he asks the question but that's not what you asked
Super glue his car's door handles.
i_make_people_angry@reddit
Superglue the windshield wipers
dannydrama@reddit
And tyre air valves and windscreen washer jets. Maybe even the wipers but that would probably be noticed.
matsche_pampe@reddit
I love this response
qqpqp@reddit
"Is there a reason you decided to wear THAT to work?"
But sporadically and with no bearing to how good or bad the oitfit is so every morning he is super self conscious putting together an outfit
siannan@reddit
Express concern over their obviously deteriorating memory. Ask if they've had cognitive evaluation for early onset dementia.
OblongAndKneeless@reddit
Squirrel, Giraffe, Porn Star, Hippopotamus
Gold-Carpenter7616@reddit
One of them is not like the other!
It's the Giraffe, right?
OblongAndKneeless@reddit
You've been watching Sesame Street!
bent_my_wookie@reddit
You should both get crutches
00Terrance@reddit
Use your cane to make him use a cane?
khaotickk@reddit
Wait for the guy to turn around and slam it into the back of his knee
haleontology@reddit
Am I the only one remembering that you can get a cane w a sharp sword inside? I'm def not not recommending this of course...
Lepardopterra@reddit
Some sword canes have a liquor flask in the handle, too.
figgypie@reddit
I plan on threatening to whack people with my cane once I have to start using one. I know it's coming (I have joint issues already), and why have a cane if I cant have fun with it?
sealmeal21@reddit
Had an old guy with one as a pt the other day who did this to me. We needed cultures on him so another nurse buddy of mine walked in with bottles and offered to place another line. I immediately jumped in to let him know he better not miss or he's getting the cane as well.
NECalifornian25@reddit
My sister has had some major hip surgeries and needed a cane for a long time. Her husband decorated it for her birthday last year 😂
figgypie@reddit
Aw that's so sweet! Knowing me I'd probably just cover mine in stickers lol.
NECalifornian25@reddit
He did good, they’ve been married for 17 years and he’s a really great guy and husband. He planned a whole hip-themed surprise birthday party. Somehow he found a banner that said “Hip Hip Hooray” with a pelvis between the words 😂
variousnewbie@reddit
I have purposefully run over people's feet with my wheelchair. Usually because they crowd me and act like I'm an inanimate object to move (yes, people grab the chair and move you like a shopping cart) and or reach around. I've done a real hard break and roll back right over the tops of feet completely innocently.
figgypie@reddit
Omg I've read so many accounts of people just grabbing wheelchairs to move them out of the way and it's so fucking rude!
What if next time someone tries to steer your wheelchair without permission, you just scream "I NEED AN ADULT" like they're trying to kidnap you?
variousnewbie@reddit
Some people scream things out. "OW! THAT HURTS!" or "DON'T TOUCH ME!" I don't have the nerve to cause a scene. I haven't had it happen in a long time though because my chair doesn't have any push handles. You have to bend over and push on the back of the chair now if actually helping. They're often trying to help you but it's never helpful to touch a stranger without permission! I've heard of people being injured, because they had their hands on the wheels and ended up with thumbs ripped open. I read a story once about someone running up and pushing a wheelchair at a fast pace then running away! Like wtf, some sort of prank?! Some people are nuts.
im_back_2_me@reddit
Even easier to trip people with them. AND this way they are the one who comes across as the a**hole to everyone who sees.
highnnmighty@reddit
Sword cane is super necessary
Timmerdogg@reddit
Tonya Harding has entered the chat
Freshouttapatience@reddit
Just to be fair, it was her boyfriend, he’s nuts. Tonya has always gotten a bad rap.
UnlikelyStaff5266@reddit
Jeff Gillooly
PixieStyx8@reddit
"Is that a shillelagh?" "No, it's a Gilloly" Wham
Freshouttapatience@reddit
WELL DONE!
SecretCorm@reddit
Name your cane Tonya Harding’s Boyfriend 2000
jarious@reddit
Get with the season call it the e-Tonya Harding's Boyfriend 2001
Refute1650@reddit
It's an old joke sir, but it checks out.
m0n3ym4n@reddit
Once there was this girl who Swore that one day she would be a figure skating champion And when she finally made it She saw some other girl who was better And so she hired some guy to Club her in the knee cap Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm Hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm, hmm-hmm-hmm-hmm
Ok-Repeat8069@reddit
Bravo, now every time that song gets stuck in my head I’m going to hear it with new lyrics.
homeguitar195@reddit
Those lyrics are from "Headline News" by "Weird Al" Yankovic. Check out the whole song, it's a fantasic cover and all of the verses are from different news stories around the time the song was recorded.
throwRA-nonSeq@reddit
Well, her boyfriend has, at least. But don’t worry, Tonya won’t say shit
stabbingrabbit@reddit
Name your cane the Tonya Harding 2000.
GhoeAguey@reddit
I don’t mean to be offensive, I’m just curious. When you and your husband walk side by side, does your pace adjust to each other? Like when I walk next to someone at some point our steps are in sync. Does your cane step become in sync as well?
pilgrimboy@reddit
I'm assuming that he's asking because he enjoys annoying you. Stop being annoyed and be will stop asking. Not unethical, but it will take the pleasure from him.
rabidpeniswizard@reddit (OP)
.... Stop being annoyed by being disrespected? Laame.
pilgrimboy@reddit
It may be lame, but it's best for your mental health.
Normal-Pool8223@reddit
in france we have a saying "c'est pour faire parler les cons", which basically means "to make dumbass talk", which i often use toward people that are being mean about a subject
cbelt3@reddit
Correct me if I’ve got it wrong… but it feels like “so you can talk out of your ass” ? (It’s been half a century since I spoke much French)
DPaignall@reddit
"It is for to do speak the mads" is what I got.
SmolNajo@reddit
Close enough
"It's to make idiots talk"
HitDerem2115@reddit
This is SO unrelated, but I was out of French practice for awhile and was bummed because of how much time I’d put until it so I signed up for a class through Alliance Française - they’re pretty cheap and something I recommend if you’re interested :)
4-ton-mantis@reddit
Et maintenant je le vole
DrunkOnLoveAndWhisky@reddit
"Why do you have a cane?"
"It's a conversation starter for idiots."
Kycrio@reddit
Such a beautiful language
Dregan3D@reddit
https://tenor.com/view/matrix-gif-1615145454942794650?utm_source=share-button&utm_medium=Social&utm_content=reddit
aannoonnyymmoouuss99@reddit
Crutches are a funny story, cane is a sad story. -George
rabidpeniswizard@reddit (OP)
Yeah both my partner and I were chrinichakky homeless growing up and thru adulthood and worked ourselves to fuck and back to get stable. And then between us one having health issues during all of it and the other becoming disabled more recently. It's depressing. We didn't fucking ask for these cards and we don't ever weaponize or whine about our lives at work. It's a badge of honor to be able to have pulled ourselves out of the muck and then to be degraded and not taken seriously???? Tf.
aannoonnyymmoouuss99@reddit
??? Its a quote from Seinfeld
rabidpeniswizard@reddit (OP)
Merry Christmas to the man who dated a high schooler. Wooooo.
Ok_Knee1216@reddit
Have the ADA come to work with you. Then see what they come up with. Not unethical (I apologize), but effective.
Dougally@reddit
If they keep asking, they've crossed over from being insensitive into bullying and harassment. Time to document and involve HR.
Ok_Knee1216@reddit
They don't have HR.
GoatGoatPowerRangers@reddit
Correct answer. Wrong answer for this sub tho.
Dougally@reddit
Bugger. I thought it was r/prorevenge
WearyCarrot@reddit
Rip their company doesn’t have an HR
TyrannicalKitty@reddit
This ^
I'm not a lawyer but I'm pretty sure harassing people about their disabilities is a no-no. At least with HR, but it might be worth exploring legal action too.
Dantheman4162@reddit
That would definitely make their life inconvenient
Icy_Huckleberry_8049@reddit
Do you have dementia, because we've discussed this 15 times already and yet, you can't remember anything that I've told you
AlienGaze@reddit
I was going to recommend this approach. I would start the next time he asks by staring at him with concern for a few minutes too long, and then ask him with a very soft and concerned voice
space_cadett_kiwiora@reddit
‘The outcome of this conversation unfortunately doesn’t change much for either of us’….. 🤣
AlissonHarlan@reddit
"Not all health issues are visible"
tree_beard_8675301@reddit
Spray them with a spray bottle every time. If they keep asking, add some vinegar or lemon juice.
MissO56@reddit
"hey...why'd you squirt me?"
"that's what I do to my cat every time he does some stupid."
The_best_is_yet@reddit
this is perfect
algolian_suntiger@reddit
Next time he comes near, poke him with the cane and say "This is the reason I use a cane. To keep assholes away."
xsmp@reddit
I had to learn to walk again at 29 years old following an injury. At least I have scars to just show someone to shut them up.
dannydrama@reddit
Yeah same here, it doesn't work for my epilepsy or mental health but I can pull my shirt up and say no I really did get stabbed. 👌
mashedspudtato@reddit
Good point. OP doesn’t have to have the scars but they could use photos from the internet and claim them as their own, and subject the guy to as many nasty injury photos with blood and stitches and bruising as possible until he extricates himself.
Witty_and_Blingy@reddit
Anyone responding about HR is either in the wrong forum or doesn't have enough life/work experience to understand 1. Many companies don't have "HR," and 2. "HR" is often utterly incompetent.
In the spirit of the forum, my suggestion? Get a spray bottle with a fine mist setting. Add fresh milk. Gently spritz his office/cube/coat/whatever you can. Watch him slowly go mad.
matsche_pampe@reddit
Lol I thought you were going to suggest you spray the coworker with a water bottle like how people scold cats to get off the table.
No-Attention-2367@reddit
grantbwilson@reddit
HR is there to protect the company, who is currently employing someone who is harassing other employees about their disability.
HR is the devil, but they would absolutely be on his side for this. Other guy would be lucky not to get fired.
mashedspudtato@reddit
Don’t talk to cops. Or HR.
welchplug@reddit
Sure but they will can someone like that to protect the company.
EuphoriKNFT@reddit
HR is there to protect the company, not you.
JupiterSkyFalls@reddit
That should be #1
__thrillho@reddit
you should be #1
jaxxon@reddit
I AM #1!
__thrillho@reddit
But the enemy of my enemy is my friend
/s
Witty_and_Blingy@reddit
Bingo.
ibanezrocker724@reddit
Your mom tired me out last night so I need a little help today.
b0ingy@reddit
because I have style. You should try it.
I_stole_this_phone@reddit
You work with your husband ?
rabidpeniswizard@reddit (OP)
He works my off days because no one likes working overnights.
I_stole_this_phone@reddit
He works on the days you don't work, but on the overnight shift?
rabidpeniswizard@reddit (OP)
Yeah we both work the overnights. But we both interact with the guy cos we have shift trade offs.
I_stole_this_phone@reddit
Ahh I think I understand now. The "because no one likes over night" confused me. So you both work overnight and he works on the nights you are not, you both use a cane and the same dude keeps asking the both of you about it.
rabidpeniswizard@reddit (OP)
Yeah. Amongst other issues but this is the current one and ive had enough.
I_stole_this_phone@reddit
That's shitty. What kind of job is it?
rabidpeniswizard@reddit (OP)
Hotel, it's in the middle of a downtown rife w homeless folks and it gets kinds dangerous and drunken folks from bars and events, general rowdyness. But it's a slow job compared to other places I've worked. At first the pros outwieghed the cons but now I'm not feeling it so much
I_stole_this_phone@reddit
Ohh in that case, can you get people to give him bad reviews? Like if he works the counter maybe get a guest to say he's a pervert or something.
Witty_Candle_3448@reddit
When they say, Well you look fine. Respond either way, Well my primary doctor, orthopedist, and surgeon say I'm not fine.
flextov@reddit
It’s a shotgun in disguise.
Basic-Sky-1335@reddit
Say you have health issues. And it’s none of his business.
StopTheBanging@reddit
"Oh. Do you have a disability, too? No? Would you like one?"
alwaysaplan@reddit
Wanna know how I got these scars?
OblongAndKneeless@reddit
Whack them in the head with the cane and the them a rabbit raccoon was about to bite them and you fought it off.
pnw_sunny@reddit
yes, fuck that dude. i do like the approach of "looks like you are doubtful, even though we have told you - are you ok, do you need help" kind of thing.
Poundaflesh@reddit
Not all disabilities are obvious.
Audixix@reddit
“Gaslight” them. “I already told you why I use the cane” it’s not really gaslighting because you have told them, but I bet they’ll think it is.
Gems1824@reddit
Make him explain his question like you can’t believe how dumb he is. Are you actually asking why I need a cane? Seriously? Do you know what a cane is? Have you ever met someone with a cane before? I use it to walk etc. Alternately you can tell him he must be lonely, have a hard time making friends, not know how to make conversation etc. because he keeps coming over to talk about these things. Offer to coach him in social skills (most people don’t love talking about their disabilities every day, here are some other topics that you can consider)
Puceeffoc@reddit
I've seen that mentioned here for women in the workplace when a co-worker makes inappropriate jokes.
Woman- "Can you explain the joke? I said my floor is wet and you said 'that's what she said' and laughed. Can you explain that please?"
Now they're stuck looking like a dope.
_squint_eastwood_@reddit
This is also good for people, like family members, who are trying to bully you and using “it’s just a joke” as the excuse to be mean.
FeveStrench@reddit
Leak an AI photo of them doing something sexual with a gender or person who they'd be ashamed/upset about.
RiddyReddit333@reddit
Him: Why do you use that cane?
You: To beat you with, my little pretty! Muhawhawhaw.
stoic_yakker@reddit
HIPAA laws exist for a reason, this is definitely harassment. Don’t respond in kind. Contact your HR and let them know what’s going on. you don’t owe him or anybody else an explanation I have invisible disabilities too, and I don’t owe anybody anything.
Freshouttapatience@reddit
You might be thinking of OP as being in a protected class. HIPAA are rules that apply to medical practitioners to ensure they don’t release medical info incorrectly.
stoic_yakker@reddit
Gotcha but their personal health information is nobody’s business and they should be told as much.
Freshouttapatience@reddit
Yes, but PHI and protected class are things related to jobs while HIPAA is related to medical doctors. It all has very different rules.
Grammagree@reddit
“And I thought you looked smart till you opened your mouth”
IHaveBoneWorms@reddit
Talk to a labor lawyer your boss is not allowed to ask you that
AffectionateMarch394@reddit
[ Removed by Reddit ]
rookedwithelodin@reddit
"Well you look healthy" "And you look intelligent, but here we are"
kimmy-mac@reddit
Tell this person, well, you don’t look stupid, but here we are having this same convo for the millionth time. I will no longer be responding to this question.
Future_History_9434@reddit
“It’s an IQ test for anyone near me.”
NoVelociraptorsHere@reddit
Tell him it’s your shillelagh
canna-crux@reddit
No HR? No problem! That means you can play the same game. You have no obligation to be nice. Respond to his questions with brutality.
Him: Why do you use a cane?
You: Why do you ask idiotic questions I've already answered? Are you stupid, or do you just enjoy creating an unsafe work environment? These conversations are making me uncomfortable and are unrelated to our work. I need you to stop worrying about mine and my husband's canes and start focusing on your job.
Say it loud enough so that all of your coworkers can hear. Remind him that disabilities are still a protected status and that just because you don't have an HR doesn't mean there aren't legal consequences to him creating an unsafe working environment.
Since there's no HR, start a "paper trail" for yourself. Email the person and CC your boss, saying, "As per our previous conversation, I've mentioned several times before, I’m not comfortable discussing my mobility aids. Please respect that boundary moving forward and stop asking my husband and me why we use them."
If things escalate, you have proof you asked them to stop, and that your manager knew and did nothing.
You could go a completely different route and pretend you think they’re deeply fascinated by canes and start sending them historical articles on canes, subscription services that will email them ads for mobility devices, as well as informational YouTube videos on what canes are, how they are made, and what they are used for.
Send digital pics of canes to his email, every day, as well as printouts to leave on his desk.
If you have a particular condition and you feel comfortable doing so, send him any and every scrap of info you can: articles, videos, wiki pages, medical journal entries, etc. Sign him up for subscription emails to various informational and support groups for those conditions.
If he asks you why you keep doing it, tell him it's because he seems more fascinated with your canes and conditions than with doing his job, so you figured you'd give him some assistance. If he asks you to stop, tell him to take it to HR.
bigleagchew@reddit
fat
-SQB-@reddit
FormidableMistress@reddit
"How weird that you keep asking. How long have you started at my body to determine I must be healthy? This seems like a very unhealthy obsession you've developed, maybe you should see a therapist."
Chumn_Li@reddit
Well, it is funny that you both use canes in your early 30s. Like, wtf. Lol
UnethicalLifeProTips-ModTeam@reddit
Your comment was removed for violating rule 14: No reason to be a dick. Seriously, get therapy or fuck off.
rabidpeniswizard@reddit (OP)
.....
TheGoochTaint@reddit
"Why do you carry a cane?"
"So I can do this" as you push him down the stairs
TheGoochTaint@reddit
Lmao what? Why did this get removed?
DuckyDoodleDandy@reddit
If your boss won’t stop them from harassing/bullying you, then consult a legal specialist in work related issues and ask them if you have any legal recourse to being harassed and your boss not taking any action to stop the harassment.
DuckyDoodleDandy@reddit
Ask “Are you my orthopedic surgeon? Do you have X-ray vision? Then you don’t get a say in whether I use a mobility aid.”
pammylorel@reddit
Attorney?
mrmrmrj@reddit
I would make jokes about your canes. Disarm with humor and show him you don't care what he thinks.
peggory@reddit
Is it a dole pole though?
BugBugRoss@reddit
Explain that since he can't remember the first eleventy seven times, that you have a video for him to watch about the proper use and reasons for canes. YT has hundreds more for responses to his follow up questions.
https://youtu.be/sinYx6rYPbA?si=qP1b0T6gv4t6CSXX
swabluesky@reddit
I don't discuss my health issues with other's and we have already had this conversation multiple times.
N-Y-R-D@reddit
I dunno. Report him to HR?
WolverinesThyroid@reddit
"We have lots of anal sex so it makes walking a little hard the next day."
motionmatrix@reddit
Patiently explain to him like he was a child that not all illnesses and maladies can be detected visually and that it’s rude to continually ask someone after they have told you about it, because it means you are telling them they are lying.
Alternatively, ask him where he did his residency, and where did he get his doctor’s degree the next time he says you look healthy to him.
Make sure you do these in front of others, the point is to embarrass him into shutting up.
yomammaaaaa@reddit
"Where's your cane?"
"I don't use one."
"Well you look unhealthy enough for one." or "Well you're about to." WHACK
The_best_is_yet@reddit
this is so great
jkrames@reddit
"What an invasive and offensive question/ observation! You must be so embarrassed you said that. Are you embarrassed? I'd be really embarrassed in your shoes."
Every time. Loudly, if there are people around.
justpress2forawhile@reddit
I'm sorry you feel my medical condition is inconveniencing you. I would genuinely prefer to not need such things, but not everyone can be as lucky as you.
CDA_CPA@reddit
Look him straight in the eye and say, “I’ll take Things That are None of Your Fucking Business for $1000, Alex.”
The_best_is_yet@reddit
good one, though I wouldn't even respond that directly. I'd probably just ask him why he looks like he has basic ability to comprehend facts but actually is totally clueless.
redrosebeetle@reddit
"I think you look smart, but here we are."
It's past time to start documenting his bullying based on your physical disabilities and get him fired.
The_best_is_yet@reddit
lol this is fantastic. Also why are people downvoting you.
severe_thunderstorm@reddit
If it’s the same coworker asking repeatedly, then maybe you should start asking why they have dementia and can’t remember the previous times they asked.
The_best_is_yet@reddit
this is perfect. I would also give them a paper that says "reminder in case you forget: please see your doctor for early onset memory loss as conversation at work has been VERY concerning"
SecretCorm@reddit
My initial recommendation was removed for physical harm(which… yeah, that’s the unethical part) but as others have said, question their memory! Or sign them up for every single home improvement service you can find. They will get SO many phone calls.
k8username@reddit
Use his contact info to tell the Mormons and Scientologists that you’ve inherited a pile and want to save your eternal soul or learn about Dianetics
4point5billion45@reddit
"How strange to be asked such a personal question. We don't answer those."
Level21DungeonMaster@reddit
Do you have HR? Tell them he is creating a hostile work environment.
Freshouttapatience@reddit
Get loud since they don’t seem to hear you and make it uncomfortable. You should say the same thing over and over again but get louder. When they ask why you’re responding so loud, ITS BECAUSE THIS IS THE 17TH TIME IVE ANSWERED ABOUT MY MEDICAL DEVICE SO YOU MUST NOT HAVE HEARD ME, BOB.
No_Educator_6376@reddit
Tell him it’s for self defense purposes. Watch some episodes of Bat Masterson and copy his style
tree_beard_8675301@reddit
“That’s where I keep my sword.”
Bratchan@reddit
If u have a desk. Make a sign. X days where y hasn't asked about my cane.
Print up details about ur health issues from google. Be like since you clearly can't grasp the health issues I have I printed them so you can read it instead of asking me every time. From there on be like I guess you can't read . I'm sorry about your disability you look so you and healthy.
Just start changing the reason why. Oh yeah this week attack by a snake. When he like why it change? Well you see you can't understand how insensitive it is to keep asking someone about crontic illness.
When he ask just shake his hand and be like wow thank you for being a doctor who thinks that age magically determines how healthy you are.
tree_beard_8675301@reddit
When he asks, don’t say anything, just reach up and erase the number and write a zero. If you’re not at your desk, pull a card out of your pocket and hand it to him. The most dramatic option is to have business cards printed, but for the simple
Ikillwhatieat@reddit
Ask them why they use both feet, when they seem plenty healthy to hop on one?
Green_Yesterday3054@reddit
File a complaint with HR
SmolHumanBean8@reddit
"I'm so sorry i look healthy, I'll go and saw my leg off real quick. Will I be allowed to use my cane after that, doctor?" And if you're particularly pissed off, "Or will I go to jail? Lock them up, officers, they look healthy!"
rabidpeniswizard@reddit (OP)
My partner actually responded along these lines. And told him not to ask again but the coworker didn't take it seriously and laughed it off. We don't have HE but I don't really trust HR
superduperhosts@reddit
Best him with your cane 🦯 and tell him that’s why bitch
decmcc@reddit
ask HR or a manager right in front of them if they are mentally disabled.
Because if they keep asking you a question about your disability to the point where it's becoming harassment, you need to know if there's mitigation before making an official complaint.
BullPropaganda@reddit
HR
Hegiman@reddit
HR is there to protect the company not you.
BullPropaganda@reddit
Yup, and the hr will protect the company from the coworker
New-Geezer@reddit
Well you look smart yet here we are.
SecretCorm@reddit
Start hitting them in the shins. I’m not joking.
dark_places@reddit
Inform your boss of the behavior and possible ADA violations. Then get in your stupid coworker's face. People can "look healthy" when they have cancer and other terminal diseases. You need to school this fucking idiot on how to shut his asshole mouth about tjings he knows less than zero about, bluntly and directly.
UnicornSheets@reddit
“Nunya”
Nunya business
salemandsleep@reddit
Have a hot coffee and accidentally trip into him when he asks.
I_am_D_captain_Now@reddit
Let HR deal with it.