You have bought a nightclub. What are you naming it ?

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JohnnyOneLung@reddit (OP)

Spent many a night sleeping in a car in that car park after the driver got pissed !

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Tenof26@reddit

There is a Peppermint Hippo in the US already …

https://www.thepepperminthippo.com

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Nameisnotmine@reddit

Bed

Just so people could say they were in bed last night. Or were going to bed

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emjayjaybee83@reddit

There was a club called Bed in an infamous ep of Sex And The City.

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emjayjaybee83@reddit

I believe it's the one with the aftermath of the Post It break up where Carrie meets Berger's friends and gives them a huge fucking rant? Maybe infamous was the wrong word 😅

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PorschephileGT3@reddit

Man Berger was so nice and Carrie was a pouty foot-faced bitch.

I mean, er, my gf made me watch it

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meringueisnotacake@reddit

There used to be a Bed in Sheffield. I touched David Dickenson's hair in Bed.

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Do_You_Like_Owls@reddit

I thought there was! I have a vague memory of seeing a Bed logo on a flyer when I was coming out of Gatecrasher one of many early mornings.

Couldn't remember if I was moving it up with Bedrock (Digweed label?) though. Jesus Christ my memory is tattered!

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JavaRuby2000@reddit

Used to be a pub / club in Derby called the bedroom and instead of seating they just had old spring beds scattered around.

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Psycho_Splodge@reddit

There was on called that in Sheffield. It was grim.

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beatsshootsandleaves@reddit

Not sure what standard of nightclubs you were used to but I didn't think it was grim at all. At least when I was there at uni between '99-'02.

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Psycho_Splodge@reddit

Same sort of era to a few years later. By the time it closes it was grimer than corp

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Sluggybeef@reddit

Its the tunnels aura affecting the residents

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Particular-Ad-8888@reddit

“I was in Bed with your mum last night”

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charlierc@reddit

Mother/sister/cousin/grandparent (delete as appropriate)

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Nimmyzed@reddit

What do you mean, delete?? Sounds like a party to me

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pu55yobsessed@reddit

Sam,

The first night at BED when you left, Ron made out with two girls and put his head inbetween a cocktail waitresses breasts. Also was grinding with multiple fat women.

When you left crying at Klutch, Ron was holding hands and dancing with a female and took down her number.

Multiple people in the house know, therefore you should know the truth. Use this information wisely.

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Virtual-_-Insanity@reddit

Never fall in love at the Jersey Shore

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Winston_Carbuncle@reddit

This quote was framed on the all in the background of an unrelated post's photo on here a few weeks ago. What's it from?

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poppingcandylights@reddit

There used to be one in Watford called Bed!

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Do_You_Like_Owls@reddit

I thought there was! I have a vague memory of seeing a Bed logo on a flyer when I was coming out of Gatecrasher one of many early mornings.

Couldn't remember if I was moving it up with Bedrock (Digweed label?) though. Jesus Christ my memory is tattered!

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slade364@reddit

Gatecrasher in Birmingjam used have a sexton called Bed, with a sign saying "come to bed".

Ah, the 00s.

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Defiant-Tackle-0728@reddit

Sheffield used to have a nightclub called Bed.

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D0wnb0at@reddit

Used to be a club called Bed in Sheffield.

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Imaginary_Hat4576@reddit

There was a club called Bed in Leeds! I think it sadly closed down in the early 2010s though.

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Goldman250@reddit

I had an incredible night in Bed last night, I was up all night dancing with a whole group of women - I think they might have been a hen do, I’m not sure. We all ended up so sweaty and messy.

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UltimateButtToucher@reddit

Whys it called Puzzles? Thats the puzzle!

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UltimateButtToucher@reddit

I'd open an alternative club in a derelict industrial building and play goth, industrial and metal. I'd call it Ironworks.

Once a month we'd have an under 18s night with no alcohol to welcome in the baby bats and young metal heads. New, local bands would be welcome. We'd do community charity work. Grow the alternative community and music scene.

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Character_Ad5286@reddit

'Champagne Steam Rooms' IFKYK

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bishbashbosh37@reddit

FIST!

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ExcitementForgotten9@reddit

The Gym.

That way patrons can just say they are going to the Gym and their friends can think they are trying to get in shape

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liminaltape@reddit

I’ve always wanted one called ‘The loft’ like in Hollyoaks, not that I even watch it anymore 🤣

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fsckit@reddit

Is it still on?

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liminaltape@reddit

Yeah just 3 days a week now

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Truewit_@reddit

Half Life

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blitzwig@reddit

Wake up, Mr Freeman, wake up and smell the ashtrays.

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mixtapetom@reddit

Only if there's a Resonance Cascade every night

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Dragon900x@reddit

Not that I wish to imply you have been drinking on the job

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ExPristina@reddit

The Blue Oyster - I mean really

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Initial_Total_7028@reddit

I'd have two gay clubs in Manchester, and call one Man City and the other Man United.

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maggiemayfish@reddit

Smens

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Gullible-Lie2494@reddit

Scenarios

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Stabby-the-cat@reddit

“At Work”. That way if you’re extra late home & your parents/partner starts giving you crap you can honestly say “I’ve been at work” & they’ll give you a break instead.

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GtrplayerII@reddit

The Kitchen.

"Every good party ends up in The Kitchen"

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BenDavolls@reddit

Sh*ts & Gigs

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soondbokie@reddit

There used to be a club in Kirriemuir called 'The G-Spot). (This is true).

Rumour was that it was only ever frequented by women, as the men couldn't find it. (This may be true).

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oily76@reddit

Baby Seal

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Bbew_Mot@reddit

The Bishkek Bar (I like Kyrgyzstan, and there is a severe lack of things in the UK that are named after places in Kyrgyzstan) 🇰🇬 🇰🇬 🇰🇬

The following songs would be banned:

Starships- Nicki Minaj Uptown Funk- Bruno Mars Blurred Lines- Robin Thicke Sky Full of Stars- Coldplay Anything containing a 'millennial whoop'

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appletinicyclone@reddit

What's a millennial whoop

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Bbew_Mot@reddit

About ten years ago, almost every pop song included a part that went, 'woah oh woah oh woah' or some variation of this. This song is a compilation of millennial whoopsfrom various songs: https://youtu.be/Ntr6PX4KFJY?si=35vxvvuvLIGKGeNl

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JK07@reddit

Banging!
He also has other bangers like Lovecrabs....
https://youtu.be/dR53CZnUsK0?si=kXh3e0qTIAa7kuFR

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Fun_Mouse_8879@reddit

I assumed stuff by Flo Rida etc

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Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit

Blurred Lines would be a great name for a terrible strip bar.

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foulveins@reddit

I Don’t Know

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WeakSnow9457@reddit

If 'I Don't know' wasn't there, what would you put?

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Toastieboy420@reddit

What were the options again?

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levezvosskinnyfists7@reddit

Always the same…

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WeakSnow9457@reddit

'The scotch and the egg'

'The white ali g'

'The fanny and the minge

'I don't know'

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Melchior_Chopstick@reddit

Chod

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w0tth3f00k@reddit

Something horrendous as a social experiment, like thrush cream. See if that’s indie enough for people

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Lilliths-pain@reddit

The queens legs would have been a brilliant name, bit gawdy now.

"what time does the queens legs open" :/

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w0tth3f00k@reddit

Now that’s a class one

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Emergency_Mistake_44@reddit

No Homer's Club

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levezvosskinnyfists7@reddit

The She-She Lounge

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Identiy@reddit

you’re not letting me in this club because i’m wearing the homers?

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space_coyote_86@reddit

But you let in Homer Glumplet!

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keg994@reddit

We're allowed to have one

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MrSometimesAlways@reddit

Swan & Pedo Club

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levezvosskinnyfists7@reddit

It’s got to make a political statement. A very strong political statement.

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Adam-West@reddit

Wetherspoons didn’t name their bar chain Wetherspoons. They named it Lloyds. You need to adapt it a little. Like the Cat and Diddler.

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emjayjaybee83@reddit

With a washing machine in the corner?

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space_coyote_86@reddit

Jesus, I need a drink. An organic scrumpy.

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Funny_Willingness820@reddit

Cant we have at least one lager?

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UnacceptableUse@reddit

Jokes aside I'd actually love that. I want a nightclub that's themed like the old Robot Wars arenas where they used to hang a cooker from the ceiling

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Goldman250@reddit

That’s not the one with a washing machine in the middle of the dance floor, is it? Just thinking about it makes me want a drink.

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Remote_Development13@reddit

Beaten to it by two minutes ffs

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Pentax25@reddit

The Wiggle Room

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RequirementEasy4273@reddit

Probably something boring like "The Local" so people can say they were down the local last night.

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Top_Bodybuilder4729@reddit

Club Bad, after the club mentioned in Green Velvet "Flash":

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l_RfediFJFQ

I've thought about this loads. I'd love to buy and run a proper underground club.

Wednesday - Proper music for the old heads ... northern soul, jazz-funk ... music for the dancers

Thursday - for the youth (under 18s), alternating metal and house music

Friday - electronic music, rotation of stuff (house, techno, d&b, whatever)

Saturday - metal and so on, live gigs for cult bands in that area

Sunday - proper underground hip-hop

Monday & Tuesday as a "weekend" for the staff.

No cheese, no filler .... 100% killer.

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Aldred309uk@reddit

It's a gay club near an airport and I'm calling it "The CockPit".

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Lilliths-pain@reddit

There was a club in northern England called the cockpit that put metal bands on, not known for attracting gay guys but plenty of goth girls up for fun in the loos

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Eastern-Leopard-2866@reddit

yes, it was in Leeds. RIP cockpit

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Lilliths-pain@reddit

Someone's said it's still open!! No idea what it's like now though, went to many gigs there from random bands in the past!

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Eldavo69@reddit

It’s in Leeds. Still going.

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SKScorpius@reddit

It's legacy lives on through various events, but unfortunately the actual venue closed down in 2014.

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mcternan@reddit

Unfortunately not, shut down about 9 or 10 years ago

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Lilliths-pain@reddit

NO FUCKING WAY!

I thought it shut down, I used to go around the mid 00's and listen to some shit black metal bands in the small room (my ex was in one).

Twenty quid and I was wrecked but still had my bus fare home!

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Usaname91@reddit

Hard to love cockpit for gigs. I’m sure it shut down a good few years ago & hasn’t reopened

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charlierc@reddit

Makes me think of the pilot bar in The Simpsons where Homer gets mistaken for a pilot

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RhubarbImmediate7007@reddit

Cockpit was the most important punk/rock/alternative club/venue in West Yorkshire until it shut down. Round the corner was the fruit cupboard, disappointingly not a gay bar either!

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Hollyhop_Drive@reddit

I suspect your club would do very well.

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white1984@reddit

Chicago O'Hare airport was thinking of having a gay bar in the departures hall, which would be a first. The jokes about a potential darkroom there was no good to miss.

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Corona21@reddit

Foxtrot Oscar’s

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Significant-Key-762@reddit

There’s a nightclub attached to a petrol station near Barcelona airport called “Terminal 0”

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fn_fucker@reddit

Good one, are you a dad by any chance

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Aldred309uk@reddit

No, I'm doing the world a favour by not reproducing.

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fn_fucker@reddit

Fair enough. The world needs to turn gay for a couple decades. Overpopulation is shittt

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bigedd@reddit

Free beer

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jfp1992@reddit

Underglow

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Which_Performance_72@reddit

The cured. Play goth music and have food which is exclusively nice meats, cheeses, gherkins and pickles onions

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whatchloedid@reddit

Meats and cheeses always pleases.

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Morazma@reddit

I'll always upvote this despite not even eating meat or cheese. Legendary British moment.

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Satirevampire@reddit

Does your mother sell swords?

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Which_Performance_72@reddit

She works for NASA the supermarket

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WraithCadmus@reddit

Your own... personal... cheeses?

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SamVimesBootTheory@reddit

Honestly that'd be perfect

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Broccoli--Enthusiast@reddit

Im in the queue already

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Riskrunner7365@reddit

Robert Smith makes an appearance once a month to get the punters in

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Dangerous-Survey1@reddit

Elements. Multi rooms, different music in each room and different theme in each room correlating to a specific element.

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Dangerous-Survey1@reddit

Water roon would be some sort of luquid Dub. Fite room would be hard drum and bass. Air room, maybe future House music Earth rokm would be Jungle music.

If I had the money I would genuinely do this in Ibiza.

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whitebelt_ric@reddit

I always thought of calling mine FRV (for Final Rendezvous) as it would be the place everyone ended up at the end of the night

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Popular-History1015@reddit

Teesside's hottest club is: Heeyyyyy!

Built from the bucket list of a dying pervert, this Albert Park bitch parade is now managed by overweight game show host Lardy Walsh. This place has everything, Tweekers, skeevies, Nerf Guns, a child, and a Russian guy who runs on a treadmill in a Rugrats jumper. The bouncer's a bulldog who looks like Tracy Morgan and the password is "dia-beat-us!"

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Empty-Question-9526@reddit

The boom boom room

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Basic_Aardvark398@reddit

Disco Fannies

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hydrora31@reddit

Moderation.

I will also sell a local brew I will call 'responsibly'.

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DingoBingoWimbo@reddit

Diarrhea

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hennelly14@reddit

Vinyl Frontier

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Odd_Cryptographer941@reddit

Bad Decisions or Big Mistake

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Empty_Estus@reddit

The Swan and Tomato.

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PintOfGuinness@reddit

Ronnie Pickering

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drivingagermanwhip@reddit

Club Aqua

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Frap_Gadz@reddit

Champagne Steam Rooms, where everything is spray painted gold.

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pazz5@reddit

Chasers

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Plastic_Sherbert_127@reddit

A Place for Wizards

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Frank_Fhurter@reddit

craic heads

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Not_A_Toaster_0000@reddit

our chain of provincial nightclubs called Flames

So if someone pulls there, we can say they've gone down in flames ?

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death_sucker@reddit

glanpety

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PrunusSpin0sa@reddit

Inda.

Just to make "In Da Cluub" songs more confusing and complicated.

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Ultimate_os@reddit

Bangerz

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macca191@reddit

Club Tropicana where drinks are indeed free. £150 entrance fee.

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PrunusSpin0sa@reddit

There's a lot to be said for that business model...

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Adventurous-Dog-3786@reddit

The Temple Boom !

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OrionGrant@reddit

The Cashpoint, because that's where everybody says they're heading on a weekend evening.

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Mobile-Vegetable7536@reddit

empty pockets

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bucket_of_frogs@reddit

Land of Leather.

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Top-Car-808@reddit

Plan B

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MeboldRice@reddit

The Eclipse

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NecroticOverlord@reddit

Puzzles

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gazchap@reddit

The Titz.

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Sufficient-Star-1237@reddit

Iggy’s

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malctucker@reddit

Flava

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JohnnyOneLung@reddit (OP)

Ah yes, the mid 90’s one of the only places you could drink on a Sunday before 3pm
Then off to some ‘restaurant’ off Oxford Street that was £5 quid for a buffet and sold beers out of a bin, and ending up in Backpackers back up Kings Cross way.

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xcountersboy@reddit

We close at 10

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TheeHappyDude@reddit

Throbbers

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Stephen_Dann@reddit

Used to be a Sunday afternoon place called the Church. Mainly Australian but also Kiwis. Always thought it was a good name so people could go to church on Sundays. Crates of Australian beer and a couple of older strippers. The same two every Sunday. He was tanned and apparently long, she was old and hairy.

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JohnnyOneLung@reddit (OP)

Ah yes, the mid 90’s one of the only places you could drink on a Sunday before 3pm

Then off to some ‘restaurant’ off Oxford Street that was £5 quid for a buffet and sold beers out of a bin, and ending up in Backpackers back up Kings Cross way.

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Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit

Ahhh, the church. Such good, terrible times.

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Hollyhop_Drive@reddit

A goth club and call it The Cauldron.

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breadbinofdoom@reddit

Me and some mates go to a small music festival every year where “Fancy Dress” is a big thing. One year we took our own “Nite Klub” which we called “Cloud 9”. 4 of those chrome poles with the burgundy velvet rope between, surrounding 1m square of sticky red carpet. We had lots of other accessories to bring the authentic experience. It was briefly the East Midlands most exclusive place to see and be seen.

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M1fourX@reddit

Chasers

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HighAbilityLoser@reddit

Nine Bar

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Feintasy@reddit

Lux

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Good_Solution_@reddit

Apache

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Penster78@reddit

Shadynastys

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sharpied79@reddit

r/oasis

Acquiesce

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OneCrispyCritter95@reddit

The Swan and Paedo. Washing machine in the corner stays.

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Upset_Locksmith_6634@reddit

I'm starting Monday

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TechnicalTrash95@reddit

Crunt

Says it all.

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Strict-Cause2761@reddit

Spunkbubble

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Strict-Cause2761@reddit

Spunkbubble

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losingit1111@reddit

The bada bing

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Silent___CrayonZ@reddit

Fools Gold

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Kiwi_Woz@reddit

The Swan and Paedo

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Taylor_Mars2042@reddit

There used to be a club called Oil Can Harry’s up north It was a dump with sticky carpets

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drinkacid@reddit

It was later renamed to Outlaws and was a hard rock bar in the 80s. Rob Halford went there after a concert and was dismayed it was a straight bar and not a gay leather bar.

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Doug__Quaid@reddit

I've always enjoyed the fighting cocks

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Standard_Rest4364@reddit

Out-Out

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TheShakyHandsMan@reddit

Pub in Leeds called that.

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Puzzled_Caregiver_46@reddit

Frooby Tuesdays

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FogduckemonGo@reddit

Cosmo. A former metro station with Eastern European cyberpunk vibes.

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Dissidant@reddit

Cunning Stunts

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GreyFox_1337@reddit

Stunning Cunts

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Da5ren@reddit

R/PeterExplainsTheJoke

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-cunningstunt@reddit

I approve

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bozwold@reddit

Gas works. I'd have a flaming sign outside, a big bouncer called tiny and we'd play excellent heavy metal music

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MrTurleWrangler@reddit

Funnily enough there's already a bar called Gasworks in Manchester. Its a craft beer place I believe, not been in myself but have walked past

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bozwold@reddit

There was one in Bradford too when I was a teenager, played heavy metal. Going back 20 years now but standard sticky floors and the occasional terrified looking chav are my core memories

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arfur_narmful@reddit

And would there be a lot of people's girlfriends in there?

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bozwold@reddit

Denied. Did you ever find bugs bunny attractive when he dressed up as a girl bunny?

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Quantum_Key@reddit

Schwing!

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bozwold@reddit

Party on

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Fit_Swimming7386@reddit

Carlitos Way

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chaveescovado@reddit

Whiskey Business

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Shadow_Demon999@reddit

Come.

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div29@reddit

Rays boom boom room

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dbe14@reddit

The Blue Oyster Bar, IYKYK

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mondo_generator@reddit

I always thought it would be funny to own a gay bar called 'members only'.

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Ancient_Skirt_8828@reddit

There was an "Exchange Hotel" in Melbourne otherwise known as the "Sexchange Hotel" for obvious reasons.

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icantbeatyourbike@reddit

Beige Pony Club

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Albert_Herring@reddit

Fleabitten roan pony club

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signol_@reddit

New York New York. The nightclub that never sleeps. That closes at 1.

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WeakSnow9457@reddit

I was looking for Chasers but this is better

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Ancient_Skirt_8828@reddit

There is a Chasers in Melbourne, Australia. It's been there for nearly 50 years.

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WeakSnow9457@reddit

Is it still Hooch for a pound and Wonderbras-get-in-free?

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Interesting-Lead-788@reddit

Jepsteins Palace.

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Alarming_Way_8731@reddit

i would call it, The Toilet. The slogan would b, "cuz everyone has to go" 😃🚽

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Kezmangotagoal@reddit

The Gloryhole

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VHS_Pulsewave@reddit

Disco Elysium.

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Accomplished-Tap-897@reddit

"Shufflers"

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Clit_Master69420@reddit

Blazing Saddles.

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Glum_Audience8149@reddit

Clavicular, is that you?

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martyrees76@reddit

Puzzles

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Haunting_Design5818@reddit

Why is it called puzzles?

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weierstrab2pi@reddit

That's the puzzle

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martyrees76@reddit

That’s the puzzle!

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PooCube@reddit

The land of… the sound of… The Astoria.

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SnooTangerines3448@reddit

Night Lunch

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ItsNotAboutThe-Pasta@reddit

Mad dog

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EladBernard@reddit

Renegade I like

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HarrryManback@reddit

Ray's Boom Boom Room

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Mancsn0tLancs@reddit

Throb

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SunDummyIsDead@reddit

Shitty McGee’s Poor Choice Emporium & STD Petri Dish

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Pircster38@reddit

Nookies

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dlt-cntrl@reddit

Crystal Tips, it would be a burlesque club.

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surreynot@reddit

Your mums.

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DrachenDad@reddit

Depends on where it is located. Near aa church? The Crypt. Is it is a techno club? NRG works, even Urban Fields.

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saludpesetasamor@reddit

Dockside Ruby’s.

My fantasy nightclub is in an old tobacco warehouse on the docks in my city. We have live blues, jazz and swing bands every night, and jam sessions on Sunday afternoons. I am Ruby.

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IntrepidMaybe8579@reddit

The Swan & Pedo

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markedmo@reddit

I used to go to one called “my place”. Great name for a club.

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FoundObjects4@reddit

Queen of Clubs

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beautifuljoemarshall@reddit

Hell and Bach. Death metal music and classical music in the toilets. You look rough, did you go out last night? Yeah, I went to Hell and Bach

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SpikeSpeegle@reddit

Meat Market

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GeggingIn@reddit

Wolfgang Prolapse.

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knots_cycle@reddit

Wig

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SpikeSpeegle@reddit

Syrup

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Lara-887767@reddit

Voodoo

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darkdetective@reddit

Barron's Nightclub.

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bristolbaron@reddit

Just one R though please.

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BHolku_17@reddit

The Alibi. I then discovered that in DC comics, there was an "Alibi" bar somewhere in Gotham where the low level super villains hang

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Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit

The Snakehole.

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That_Organization901@reddit

Let’s seal this devil’s three-way right here, right now.

Step one, we buy into this club.

Step two, we roll over to the club either in your Mercedes Benz or my pre-owned Acura Legend.

Step three, I dagger you on the dance floor.

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Poo_Poo_La_Foo@reddit

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barbiepeach@reddit

Pawnee’s sickest nightclub!

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Emergency-Relief-571@reddit

The Matrix.

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Frequent_Flyer_Miles@reddit

Bouncing off the walls!

[-]

laurab27@reddit

Shadynasty's

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barbiepeach@reddit

Drugs! I choose drugs!

[-]

Fluffy_Specialist593@reddit

Clubby McClubface

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quick_justice@reddit

Festering Schlongs of course, how else.

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FigureSubstantial970@reddit

The prancing pony.

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Psychological-Web828@reddit

Yahmumm’s or Swimming.

[-]

GrabbedByTheGhost@reddit

Desele's House of Earthly Delights

[-]

JimmyBallocks@reddit

Club Foot

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Dragonfruit-Agitated@reddit

knotoo Night Club

[-]

noctenaut@reddit

The Chippy

[-]

Soggy_Detective_4737@reddit

Anchors ... but it would have a cute little W design in front

[-]

Golden-Event-Horizon@reddit

The Swan and Paedo

[-]

IhaveaDoberman@reddit

Peppermint Elephant.

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Good_Witch_O@reddit

Nighthawks

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Recidivist67@reddit

The Belleville

Inspired by the godfathers of Techno!

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SmurfBiscuits@reddit

The Hole

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Doctordelayus@reddit

Porcelio

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galgor_@reddit

Dreamy Sleepy Nighty Snoozy Snooze

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Ebio_Amisi@reddit

pLace

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Background-Bison6847@reddit

Eclipse -
Open for an hour 2 nights a year, cover charge $5000.

And yes I did steal this straight from the Haverford play book.

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Arthxrr@reddit

Puzzles

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JadedSignificance990@reddit

Opal

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dinkidoo7693@reddit

Thrusters

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JohnCasey3306@reddit

Britian's first 'in bed by 9' club

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fn_fucker@reddit

Halfcut Humping

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AlfCosta@reddit

Wankers.

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No-Winner8975@reddit

Skankeys

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OkayEffectively@reddit

The Dagmar

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ClassroomDowntown664@reddit

nice nod to classic EastEnders

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Great_Dimension_9866@reddit

Dance Your Blues Away; Groove City; Planet Vibe

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Real23Phil@reddit

Musketeers, I have MS.

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Relative_Shop4676@reddit

Flames is a gay bar in Luton

I would called mine lemonade disco

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