Before Michael Jackson, who was the main real-life "freak" of primary school urban legends?

Posted by holytriplem@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 74 comments

Sorry, I don't know how to properly ask this question but I hope people know what I mean.

In the 90s and 00s, every primary school child (at least, the ones young enough not to know about the kiddy fiddling allegations) would have known Michael Jackson as the ultimate freak whose nose fell off on stage and who needed to sleep with a gas mask on cause he no longer knew how to breathe. I'm curious to know if people who went to school before the 90s had an equivalent real-life freak character?

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Unhappy_Storm_40@reddit

Bing Crosby being an business father made the rounds in the 80s.

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RiverGlittering@reddit

I have never heard any of those things, except the turning white.

Heard lots in the late 90s about Marilyn Manson having a rib removed so he can suck himself silly though.

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titlrequired@reddit

It was Prince before MM.

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RavenRiotOC@reddit

And Bowie before him iirc..potentially George Michael too, or was he one of the..ehem.. gerbil rumors?

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campbelljac92@reddit

I thought that was richard gere with the gerbil

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RavenRiotOC@reddit

There were a few with the gerbil.that i heard over the years. Gere was the main one but I heard it about several...most recently Charlie Sheen when his scandals were big news. Its crazy how the same things get reused in cycles.

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Ok_Monitor_7897@reddit

It was Marc Almond before Prince.

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gerrineer@reddit

Hell of a thirst you've got there marc almond!

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RiverGlittering@reddit

Starting to think I'm the only person not blowing myself now.

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Nuthetes@reddit

There were lots of rumours about Manson when I was at school.

The rib one, that he once passed a jar around his concert for people to jizz in and drank it, that he threw a kitten/puppy into the crowd and said he wouldnt perform until the crowd killed it etc.

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kettlejuices@reddit

How about the one involving his lips?

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PianoMiddle346@reddit

Errr maybe Google 'Jacko Paedophile' then 🙄

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RiverGlittering@reddit

I mean, we obviously heard that.

However, the phrasing of the post suggested that we weren't talking about that.

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holytriplem@reddit (OP)

Oh yeah, I remember the rib one too.

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Key-Bass-7380@reddit

Michael Jackson wasn't considered a freak in my school, I went to a black school and he was considered a black icon and we danced to his songs

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Elegant_Run_8567@reddit

A black school in the 1980s in the UK?

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Alarmed-Syllabub8054@reddit

Around our way, from I guess the mid 80s, it was Purple Aki.

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neo101b@reddit

Bum or blade, the weird thing is, hes though to be inspiration for the Candy Man.
Clive Barker was a scouser.

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badgerfishnew@reddit

The fear of getting your muscles squeezed was real

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Voodoopulse@reddit

Yep

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DaveBeBad@reddit

George Michael, boy George, Marc almond, Rod Stewart - all had the rumours about the stomach pump and the missing rib.

And there were rumours about that radio one DJ who liked tracksuits and necrophilia…

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Djinjja-Ninja@reddit

The original semen stomach pump story was Rod Stewart.

He's actually addressed it several times, including in his autobiography, as it was started by his ex-publicist Tony Toon after Rod fired him..

“[Toon] fed the press a story in which, as a consequence of an evening spent orally servicing a gang of sailors in a gay bar in San Diego, I had been required to check into a hospital emergency room to have my stomach pumped.” Stewart continues, “I have never orally pleasured even a solitary sailor… And I have never had my stomach pumped, either of naval-issue semen nor of any other kind of semen.”

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Morganx27@reddit

It's always struck me as such a weird story because you'd need to be dealing with some heavy duty loads to need that. Even if you get through 100 sailors, it's maximum like 500ml. It's cum, not bleach, 500ml won't kill you.

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ice-lollies@reddit

Oh I loved Boy George as a kid. I was so disappointed that it turns out he’s a bit of a baddie.

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W51976@reddit

The radiator situation?

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ice-lollies@reddit

Yes pretty much.

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W51976@reddit

Yeah, he obviously has a nasty side to him.

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DameKumquat@reddit

Marc Almond was the only stomach pump one, but Boy George, Rod Stewart and Prince were all rumoured to have had a rib removed.

And everyone knew about the ex-DJ with his own show to mend things, as well as the film star fond of rodents.

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gerrineer@reddit

In our school when we saw the wham videos it was agreed that Andrew ridgley was gay but wasn't letting on.

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DameKumquat@reddit

"Someone said George Michael was gay. There's no way that nice George Michael could be gay!" - my mum, around 1988...

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titlrequired@reddit

Wait, Roland Rat was on Yewtree as well?

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gerrineer@reddit

Gerbils. hamsters ....im surprised they get him.

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PomegranateV2@reddit

Semen from 35 different people - Marc Almond.

Rib removed - Prince.

I'm just slight too young to remember Joey Deacon though.

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tmbyfc@reddit

Tag urself to show your age. I'm on the Almond/Boy George border

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Jumpy-Jello-@reddit

Marilyn Manson for me.

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PomegranateV2@reddit

There's a lot of misinformation on this thread.

The gerbil up the bum routine is how the Pet Shop Boys got their name. They forgot to use a condom though so one of them had to try and get it out by hand. Couldn't see much so he lit a match. Boom! Hit a pocket of methane and the other one's arse turned into a flame thrower. Look at the album cover and you'll see one of them is missing his eyebrows.

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two_hats@reddit

Haha, I'd never heard that one. That's brilliant

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SteakSandwichSideEye@reddit

Talk about miss-information. Pet Shop Boys got their name from a couple of friends who ran a pet shop, and they referred to them as "The Pet Shop Boys".

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berkleysquare@reddit

Alice Cooper.

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DangerousDisplay7664@reddit

You forgot the one about him having a rib removed so that he could suck himself off.

Clearly an urban legend because IRL he would get young boys to do that 🤷‍♂️

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TeaAndCrumpetGhoul@reddit

Gary glitter?

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Popular_View_5411@reddit

there was an episode of tarrant on tv that featured a yogi tying a boulder to his bollocks and swinging it around. he was the freak tbat every kid was fascinated with

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MainGeneral4813@reddit

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ProsodySpeaks@reddit

Anyone remember this?

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Rock_Star_Ate_My_Hamster

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pezholio@reddit

“Yes, we’d love to donate £10,000 to the Nuke your Granny Society!”

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ProsodySpeaks@reddit

so many hours. so very entertained. man fuck gta6 i htink i'm going back to amiga games

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Pagan_MoonUK@reddit

Yes, It is one of the best headlines ever 😁

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ProsodySpeaks@reddit

the game, not the headline

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Investigator516@reddit

Many of those tabloid rumors were fake or misinformation. Before Michael it was supposedly Elvis.

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3507341C@reddit

Yeah, I remember the Elvis spotted in local chippy stories.

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greeksalad2@reddit

Jeremy beadle

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Dennyisthepisslord@reddit

We used to do Joey Deacon impressions years after he went 80s viral. His legend lived on. Every millennial knows it. We dare not do it now. Mean as hell.

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gerrineer@reddit

Im not proud ..but i still occasionally do it .

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Pagan_MoonUK@reddit

Only in the privacy of my own home. It became the thing in the classroom if you got a question wrong, all the kids would be doing Joey impressions at you.

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V8boyo@reddit

Fred says joey wants fish and chips.

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Signal-Ad2674@reddit

Fred says Joey wants to leave him his million pound house and all his belongings. Fred says he’s the only one that can interpret what Joey says. Fred says you can leave his house now.

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RecipeNo2200@reddit

There was a thing about Richard Gere slipping a hamster up his arse, also something about him sitting on a bed pole as well but vaguely remember that rumour. The hamster rumour definitely did the rounds though.

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NecroVelcro@reddit

That was a ridiculous claim.

It was a gerbil.

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Pagan_MoonUK@reddit

What is the significance of doing this?

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RiverGlittering@reddit

I think that was still doing the rounds in the 00s. My sister started secondary school in early 00s and heard it.

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Weird_Plenty_2898@reddit

I vaguely remember Richard Gear and the gerbil was it?

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gggggenegenie@reddit

They should make these people part of the National Curriculum.

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UnderstandingTop1579@reddit

OP is tapped😂

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holytriplem@reddit (OP)

No idea what that means, but I'm sure you're right

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