Would you relocate in your 30s?

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Serious-Pride-3203@reddit

Don't do it, it could go wrong in so many ways you can't even imagine.That's my suggestion. It would have been worth if you were single and with an unstable job.

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taxnomad@reddit

33 years old, and I moved to France with my family — a step that completely changed our lives.
Do I regret it? Not at all.

Yes, France has its challenges.
The bureaucracy can be exhausting, paperwork takes forever, and compared to my home country, many things move much more slowly. Sometimes even the simplest task requires patience, appointments, and endless documents.
And of course, there are many cultural differences and habits that take time to understand.

But despite all of that, I still believe this was one of the best decisions we ever made as a family.

Moving here taught me patience, resilience, and how to build a new life from zero. It gave us new opportunities, new experiences, and a different perspective on life.
It’s not always easy, but growth rarely comes from comfort.

Starting over at 33 was scary, but staying in the same place without trying would have been even scarier.

Today, I’m proud of the step we took together as a family — and I wouldn’t change it.

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trippler85@reddit

I feel like I can add to this discussion, I grew up in HK as an expat kid and went back to work for the first 15 years of my career. If you had asked me in 2018 I’d have said I’ll probably see out my whole career there (we were newly married, no kids). Covid came and we had 3 kids (Covid lasted 3 years in HK) and an opportunity came up to relocate to another expat hub came up for me. Financially it was ticked the boxes but it meant my spouse giving up her stable (didn’t love it didn’t hate it) job.. We sat and thought about the opportunity for a long time before we finally made the move (luckily they gave me time to decide). Ultimately, the choice came between stability, which you strongly desire (and I’d highly recommend at the babymaking stage) and the taste of adventure. For us, we realized that the odds were in our favour to live our version of a good life either way but in 20 years we’d regret not making the move. I recommend really doing that gut check with your spouse so that you’re in tune with each other. It looks like you’re aware of the big tkt expenses in HK for families so I won’t rehash those…. Growing up and living in HK wasn’t always easy (as a kid, as a young professional and as a parent myself) but it gave me wonderful stories, opportunities and a truly global group of best friends I still see and visit (and they visit us too) regularly today. Good luck with your call :)

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Fvk-Ironborn-Hq@reddit

mid 30's here, relocated NA > EU, in my opinion this is the best time to relocate! You're experienced, knowledgeable and stable enough to make the transition while still being young enough to fully assimilate. The first year will be wash, 40% increase in salary is great, but moving expenses and culture shock will take a toll, recreating your new circle and support structure will take some time but well worth it. Important insight, its difficult but well worth it, its a blessing to be able to do. Not everyone gets to experience the world.

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Emotional-Shape-6239@reddit

I would do it. 40% is always a life changing amount unless you're currently living in poverty and will still be loving in poverty. Plus the experience of a different culture alone is so worth it.

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Plastic_War3555@reddit

I did at 46. People thought I was crazy. But I was like now or never for me. Things are not always good but i do not regret. There are things you don't like everywhere.

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Ok-Strategy-995@reddit

In 3 months, at 37, I'll be moving from Norway to the Netherlands, not even for a substantial salary increase but for a better peace of mind.. I hope.

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ptherbst@reddit

Do itt, I lived in HK for 6 years and it was the best time of my life. Kids will love it, you can afford a nanny too

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PeachnPeace@reddit

HK isn’t what it was, I lived in HK for 10 years until 2012.

I would not turn back, I truly enjoy slow-pace lifestyle and less stressful work environment.

if you are thinking of having kids, school sucks there. international school fee is high and kids studying in local school suffer so much from stress.

I don’t see HK as a family friendly place at all, apartments are small, lack of hybrid work, pollution, etc. While you see a 40% pay raise, it’s worth mentioning the lack of welfare and social security in general. You pay for everything.

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sum-9@reddit

I did at 33, with kids. It was still a great decision.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

If you don’t mind me asking, where did you move to and what made you decide to do it even with kids?

And what ended up being the hardest part of the move?

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sum-9@reddit

Canada. Because the opportunities and scenery looked great. It’s a great place for kids to grow up.

Hardest part was leaving friends and family behind.

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Able-Impression7567@reddit

What about the taxes?

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sum-9@reddit

What about them?

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Able-Impression7567@reddit

How much are you paying?

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EventExcellent8737@reddit

Surely, you would also want to know what OP gets out of them not just how much they pay. Tax pay on its own is not useful

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sum-9@reddit

Why?

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AppointmentTricky879@reddit

It always is....

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Deep-Juggernaut-9943@reddit

I relocated at 37 yrs old and went with my partner n our 2 kids to Asia specifically Thailand. Been here almost 3 years and absolutely love it. Left Canada n went to Asia best decision we ever made!

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theearthisflatonmaps@reddit

Where did you relocate to?

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81FXB@reddit

I did, at 32. I used the old folks home argument If later when you're in the old folks home and you look back upon your life, would you regret it not having tried the job in Hong Kong?

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BRpics2022@reddit

I moved from Canada to Singapore at 42 for work. Married, no kids. It was a great move for me. No regrets.

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LuHamster@reddit

Yes I did grew tired of London it's price and quality of life just didn't add up for me granted I was earning in the creative sector so much lower then a finance bro on a inflated salary so my life was very different to yours. I am younger at 29 but also had the similar thoughts to you but ultimately I didn't ever want to settle in London or the UK as a whole.

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1_CrazyCatL8y@reddit

I’m 40 and we’re relocating in 3 weeks. Sometimes you just need a change, regardless of age.

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shichiju@reddit

Hong Kong is a fantastic, international city, with great food options as well. Great airport, great transit, cosmopolitan populace.

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Low_Stress_9180@reddit

How many years ago was that though?

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shichiju@reddit

that was 20 years ago, but see reply below!

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Remote-Watercress588@reddit

I was there 2 weeks ago and the above all still applies.

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Due_Campaign_9765@reddit

I did it in the early 30s. It's somewhat of a different situation, since i was running away from Putin who destroyed the last remnants of a chance that the country would be normal in any reasonable time frame so i realistically didn't have a choice at all.

But in all other aspects i'd say my case was extremely similar. My relative prosperity with the new job increased, but not overly so.

In general it's fun, I like experiencing new things, the job situation turned out great.

I don't regret it (even if we forget about Putin for a second), but the "immigrant fatigue" is for sure a thing at least for me. I'm a foreigner here, but i also can't go back now because it feels that i'm a foreigner there too (even if it wasn't for Putin).

I also don't think it would be any different if it happened in my 20s. I think the only possible difference would be moving as a student, because at least for me personally my friend group formed during that time. Perhaps if that happened in another country even those small downsides of moving would disappear.

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Tigerliliexx@reddit

My dad was in his late 30s when he brought us (mom, brothers and me) to Singapore from the Philippines. Up to now they are still there and im in Germany.

Listen to you heart :)

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Flaponflappa@reddit

I'm 44. I just procured a Temporary Residence Permit and Visa for an Eastern European country that I'm moving to on June 1st from the US. I budget travelled Europe for 3 months last summer to scout prospective countries and fell in love with Eastern Europe. I returned and have been living frugally just working and saving money since then. I have roughly 1 year of savings and a few job options to assess in the meantime.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

Wow, that’s amazing honestly, especially making such a big move at 44. Are you single or married, if you don’t mind me asking?

What made you want to move in the end? Was it more lifestyle/adventure related, or were you unhappy in the US?

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Flaponflappa@reddit

I'm single with no kids. I felt more and more disconnected from society here. I enjoy bicycling and cooking and riding to the market. I feel like my generous spirit feels at home elsewhere in every other country and especially Eastern Europe.

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godspell1@reddit

This is a rare thing to hear! Which country did you decide to go for?

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Voyagerturkish@reddit

My suggestion is to always go somewhere and stay there for at least two weeks before deciding to move. Many people move to Bali, but when I went there, I realised that I wouldn’t like living there. That’s why I suggest taking a holiday for some time, going there with your family if possible if not alone, and seeing it for yourself.

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MarketByObservation@reddit

Career opportunities continue to appear; life timing does not always. Your current stage — married, pre-kids, financially stable, still flexible — actually is a uniquely movable window. You’re correct about that. Once children arrive and parents age further, the emotional cost of distance tends to rise sharply. But that doesn’t automatically mean you should go. It just means if you ever wanted to try something like this, now is probably the easiest version of it.

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Capital-Rush-6058@reddit

ask yourself - will you regret it if you don't try? i'd say if you can try it for a year or two - why not? that way you'll be able to get the experience and see if it's for you, and if not - you can come back home and have children etc. even if it's not the wisest choice financially, if you can afford it - it doesn't hurt to try. the only thing i'd say, if it doesn't feel right - don't waste your time sticking out there for years, just return home - it's not a failure, it's just not for everyone.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

I think that’s probably the part that keeps pulling me towards trying it - I’d likely keep wondering “what if?” if I never did. What makes the decision harder is more the unknowns around it, and the fact that my husband would potentially need to quit his own job because of my move, which adds another layer of pressure/guilt to the whole thing. And it’ll potentially be harder to have children once I pass 35 mark.

Though I suppose there’s never really a way to know if something like this is the “right” decision beforehand.

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Entebarn@reddit

Fertility starts to decline at 30, more at 32, and more as you continue on. 35 isn‘t a cliff, 32 is the sooner impact, but also not a cliff. This is from my reproductive endocrinologist.

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Capital-Rush-6058@reddit

yeah, that's not an easy choice to make and the situation with the husband is definitely not ideal. making a move for someone and potentially sitting at home without job can very quickly grow to tension and resentment. on the other hand, you may also resent him if you don't go... browse all your options together - maybe you'll come up with some opportunities for him too? or maybe you can move later with children? of course it's more complicated, but not impossible.

also, what about the 35 mark? if you're 34 and not pregnant, you'll be having children past the 35 mark in any case now, so why stress about that?

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

He could potentially relocate internally through his company or otherwise find a new job, so I don’t think he’d struggle forever, but possibly it probably wouldn’t be a promotion for him.

And yeah, to give more context on 35 mark I have an underlying medical condition and was advised not to wait too long. We only recently got into a financially stable enough position to seriously start thinking about kids, and then this opportunity suddenly came up at the exact same time.

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Capital-Rush-6058@reddit

well obviously i'm not your doctor, but at this point i don't think a couple of years here and there will change anything drastically. or move later with children, or even later after they grow up. there are plenty of people moving around in their 40s, 50s and 60s. you're saying that it seems like the last opportunity to move - but it's not, and life doesn't end with having children and hitting 40:) it looks like you should really figure out your priority now - family or career, and do what feels right for you first and foremost, not for someone else

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MilkChocolate21@reddit

Your fertility doesn't plummet the way people think. Tbh, if your body struggles to conceive, that's already true. See a doctor to make sure you don't have any manageable fertility issues (although idiopathic infertility can hit anyone).

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bornagy@reddit

I have relocated in my 20s 30s and 40s and do not intend to stop the trend.

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Telecom_VoIP_Fan@reddit

Obviously, you will be taking a gamble. I must admit I am conservative my nature. I only left the UK because I was in a rut jobwise, and socially. In the situation you describe, I would be super-hesitant to make sure a move. But, if you are a more adventurous, risk-taking type, I could understand you viewing this differently.

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Dapper_Buddy_5370@reddit

I lived in HK for 10 years before moving to London for work. Cost of living in HK can actually be lower than London, especially public transport. MTR is 3x less expensive than the Tube, and that’s not an exaggeration. You can basicallt travel from one end of the line to the other for about 4GBP. Eating out is also more expensive in London, you can get by in HK with 2 viands + rice meals for 40 HKD ( £4) or eat out and spend about 200-400 HKD a meal. Grocery prices are about the same but expect to pay more for milk, cheese and yogurt, but Asian food is very affordable.

It’s a common misconception that HK just has buildings and nothing more. Only 20% of HK is developed, the rest are mountains, beaches and islands. When I was there I would take the ferry to smaller islands to see other parts of HK and it’s always a new discovery.

Rent depends on which are you live in. New territories would have bigger and cheaper housing, near nature but a bit further away from city centre. Kowloon or HK island would have higher rent prices but are more connected.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

Thanks for the input. I do feel like we’d probably still save more in HK overall despite the high rent, especially since day-to-day living seems cheaper than London. Here I barely even eat out anymore apart from occasional work meals 😅

Do you personally enjoy life more in HK or the UK?

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Entebarn@reddit

Go! Don‘t have what ifs. I think daily about this and making the wrong choice (as I did).

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

Thanks for this. I’ll discuss with my husband to evaluate together and try not to have any regrets 🙂

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Mysterious-Class-474@reddit

What I noticed in your question and your description of your background is there is no “we” in there. You mention a wife. Will your wife be working in Hong Kong as well? Your wife is giving up friends to move as well. Does your wife have living parents? Sit down separately and list the pros and cons, then sit down together and compare your lists.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

I should have made it clear - it’s a husband and he has roots in Hong Kong (but never worked or lived there). So in a way it’d be easier to integrate probably since he speaks the language and has family over there. Im originally from Europe and my parents are in Europe too.

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Mysterious-Class-474@reddit

My comment still stands. What do both husband and wife feel about it, make pros and cons list and then share them with each other. That is how any big decision a married couple makes should proceed.

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LevelBlacksmith1810@reddit

Chiming in on this, personally have relocated the other way round ( asia to eu ).

One major point that is on our mind atm is having kids. As you mentioned that kids are planned. Yes money is good/better, but you will be introducing quite abit of uncertainty in, along with your partner potentially not having a job or coming along.

Timeline wise, when you move there, you might take awhile to settle as well. So 35+, give or take abit you’ll be stepping into 36+ for your first child. And if 2nd kid? Kid growing up in international school is probably gonna cost abit too, unless you would plan to go back in 3-5 years?

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FunAdministration334@reddit

I (42F) moved abroad when I was your age, but in my case, I didn’t have much going for me at the time, so it was my Hail Mary. In my case, it worked out, but if I had what you have, I probably would have stayed in place.

I now have two young children and parents in their 70s on separate continents. It’s something to carefully consider.

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Kooky-Use-8401@reddit

I think nobody can answer ur question, its crucial that what feels more important to you right now

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nanacmm@reddit

Can your partner also get a job there or will they be a trailing spouse? ie no job just trailing after you.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

He will try to get an internal move / promotion as well, if that’s not successful he’ll be trailing after me probably. The promotion isn’t guaranteed unfortunately and we won’t know for a few weeks.

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nanacmm@reddit

I don't know then, it would be harder for him to find a job - check out job listings, also visa work permit requirements to see if there is anything he might be able to do. Think outside the box.

I live in SE Asia and frankly, you couldn't pay me to go back but I've been here forever. Your parents are still plenty young for you to live overseas a few years if its something you really want to do. For me, I guess, it would come down to - do you want to live a comfortable life or do you want to challenge yourself and try something outside your comfort zone and how important is it to you.

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misanthreddit@reddit

Some more info would be helpful - are you from England or did you move there as an expat?

Is your income over 100k GBP? You beginning paying a lot more tax and given you are looking at having kids you could lose daycare benefits if you do have kids. What about your partner and her work?

I recently moved from UK to asia and this was a big consideration in why I moved. Both my partner and I were salary sacrificing pay to avoid the 100k cliff.

I'm not based in HK but one thing I dislike it for kids is the lack of proper playgrounds etc. it's a concrete jungle.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

As a household we’re already over the £100k mark, I’m personally over that threshold in London, so tax is definitely one of the factors pushing us to consider the move too. I moved to the UK 8 years ago and recently naturalized, so I know what rebuilding life in another country feels like. My husband has roots in Hong Kong and speaks Cantonese, although he’s never worked there himself.

I think the difficult part for me is more the emotional side of starting over again in my 30s, new job, new country, new environment, potentially rebuilding our support system from scratch. London feels stable and parents can visit me relatively easily (2.5 hours by flight), so I’m having a bit of a crisis trying to figure out whether we’re making a brave decision or leaving security behind.

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misanthreddit@reddit

Do you speak Cantonese too?

The work environment will be quite different in HK but it sounds like you probably have some familiarity with HK.

It's worth thinking about your partner's ability to work in HK as well.

I moved to Asia for the same reasons you've mentioned but I do miss the UK in a lot of ways and I don't even have family in Europe. That being said you are in your prime earning years and you need to consider that once you're in HK it could feel like golden handcuffs. That's how I feel now based in Asia and while I don't regret the move it's a very different lifestyle.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

I don’t speak Cantonese, no, but my husband does because of his HK roots. That said, he’s never actually worked in Hong Kong and doesn’t have local accredited licences there, so there would definitely still be options for him, just probably not as much compared to the UK.

How do you find the work life balance overall? Do you feel the overall quality of life compensates for the longer working hours?

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misanthreddit@reddit

I'm based in Singapore rather than HK but I would say your work hours will most definitely be longer than in UK. You can expect rent to be higher as well in HK. I assume it is a foreign firm you are working for since you don't speak Cantonese?

Compensation and tax are obviously big winners. Transport in HK is cheap and efficient. Food you can spend what you want to spend accordingly which is a bit different to London where you cant really eat cheap.

Having access to helpers does add to the ease of work life balance. Especially if you have kids (I have a 3.5yo and 6 month old).

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Remote-Watercress588@reddit

I relocated in my 40s, was the best thing I did for my career, enabled much faster career progression and a pivot into senior management. Main things for you to consider is your spouse and what he'll do. Depending on his career or qualifications HK can be a very tough job market. Strong on Finance/Law and has an international workforce, but honestly for non Cantonese/Mandarin speaker most other industries will be tough to find a job.

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DioSeo@reddit

We moved in our 34 as well with a kid. I actually had an option to choose between UK and GCC and decided to go for a tax free option. We made this step mainly because of our home country situation but this is still was very good decision for us.

If you never had such experience but always wondered how to do it your case looks perfect. 40% increase with much lower taxes sounds like doubling your actual income.

Do.your research. I heared a lot of great feedback from colleagues about their Hong Kong experience.

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Opposite-Ad8208@reddit

I’m doing it, moving to North America from Western Europe in a matter of months. I want to settle down there.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

Good luck with your move! Are you moving for a new job/company or a new opportunity?

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Opposite-Ad8208@reddit

Going to use a new job as a bargaining chip if I have to. I’d rather stay with the company and we have a mechanism for it, but spite and politics might scupper that unfortunately.

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pixieviolet517@reddit

Go for a longer holiday in HK and see if you like living there first. Mid 30s is not too late for moving, but it’s too late to be stuck in a place you don’t like for a few year and build your life back when you return.

The Asian financial markets and regulations are very regional. I.e. your exposure would’ve be less transferable compared London/NYC relocation. And ask yourself the question, if you want to move back, would you have the same mandate?

I spent my teenage years in HK, moved to London for uni then job. 2 years ago I was offered to transfer to NYC with 40%+ pay rise, contract was for 2 years then assess if I would stay or return. I turned it down.

HK was a great city in many ways, it has everything you’d ask for all within 1hr commute (work/food/hike/disney). But I was very depressed there — you never see the sky, weather was brutal, social life is limited when you don’t speak canto.

Sometimes I wish that I moved to NYC for the life experience. But 2 years later it is clear that my career growth in London was much faster. London is cleaner, safer, more spacious, more polite. I’d never raise a family in NYC, so why make the detour?

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stayincalm@reddit

Do it if you’re excited about it. We moved in our 40s with kids to Asia for a few years and it was a great experience. There are no rules in life - just do it if you’re excited about it and think it’ll help you grow personally and professionally.

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shuggy895@reddit

Yes and I would love to live in Hong Kong. I love that place.

I am looking to relocate and I’m in my 30s with a family.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

Hong Kong is definitely an interesting place to be, especially from a career perspective. Best of luck with the relocation. seems like quite a few of us here are trying to figure out similar life decisions in our 30s :)

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Key_Equipment1188@reddit

We were end of our 30s when we went to Asia. Our child was born there and we would do it again.

In terms of salary, always compare the household income after taxes and then add some virtual income (positive or negative) for comparison. Tax advantages go far!

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

Thanks for sharing, really helpful to hear from someone who made a similar move later in life! Very good point as well about looking at the overall household income after taxes, I was actually thinking about that today.

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delerious@reddit

Yes, have moved in my 30s and enjoyed 10 years in HK, some time in other countries across Europe and Asia.

Hong Kong is amazing, if you get paid accordingly. 2x salary increase doesn’t mean much when rent goes 3-4x for the standard you are used to.

Have a kid, enjoy another 10-20k/month in schooling unless you go public.

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No-Ambition-3386@reddit

Add to that you should check if your contract has an education allowance. HSBC used to offer it to their expat employees but they changed it recently.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

Good shout, I’ll ask about additional family-related support. So far educational allowance hasn’t been mentioned.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

That’s really interesting to hear. What did you personally enjoy most about living in Hong Kong compared to Europe?

And was there anything that became difficult long term beyond the housing/schooling costs there?

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delerious@reddit

Culture immersion, proximity to rest of Asia. Hong Kong has a lot more to offer compared to just city life, hitting the hiking trails and/or beaches. The weather, I couldn’t stand London…(lol).

Recently as HK PR you get access to the automated gates crossing over to mainland China, so weekends in Shenzhen is amazing.

Difficulty is work culture, this is not a 9-5 place. People tend to be very money driven and will gladly step over some dead bodies to achieve their goals.

Getting tight friends can be challenging, you tend to end up in an expat bubble if you don’t speak canto.

As with moving anywhere, get into separate classes, hobbies, meet-ups to establish your own network outside of work quickly.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

Luckily my husband has HK roots so hopefully I can learn some canto from him haha. I’ll definitely need some hobbies and my own little community if we move though.

What I’m struggling to picture most is whether life there actually feels more stressful because of the longer hours and pace, or if the overall lifestyle kind of makes up for it in the end.

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taxnomad@reddit

In France 🇫🇷

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Careful-Ball-464@reddit

TLDR: I think that 30 is the worst age to migrate. If you are 20 or 40 with children maybe it's easier to get integrated (either through college or through your children friends families), but in my experience migrating at 30 was great at the beginning but became a trap: you end up being foreigner in both countries, having very few or no friends in either country, and having to accept that you won't be there for your parents last moments....

I(38F) moved countries across continents at 30, for a life changing salary increase (5x), a dream country and a dream job.

It felt the right decision in the moment, but about 5 years later i started to see myself in a trap (in which i'm still now 8 years after moving): i have very strong reasons to go back but also to stay.

On one hand i have my partner here and i'm on my way to build a family which i wouldn't be able to afford in my country due to financial struggles (essentially it's impossible to afford a family back there) so going back home is not an option because this is pretty much my only shot at having a family (when i've moved building a family it wasn't at all in my plans, i was rather thinking of being childless, but that changed later)

On the other hand i'm starting to see how my parents (\~70 yo) are aging, and i'm facing the reality that i will very likely not be with them when they pass away and i will only see them a bunch of times more in my life. That's a very strong a heartbreaking realization.

Additionally it's very hard to get well integrated in a country after 30... people your age don't have time to hangout with their current friends, so you can imagine that making NEW friends is really not a priority for them. So you don't get many local friends, mostly expats but most those friends will move back sooner or later (my first 3 best friends all moved back to their countries within the first 5 years)

In conclusion: you won't have many friends in your new country but ALSO your friends in your homeland will become more of acquaintances, so if you go back you also don't have many friends.

I would not recommend migration at 30 as a woman.

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retrosenescent@reddit

I did

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Live-220485@reddit

Do it ! Omg it’s such a good experience youre still young and you have no Financial Problems

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stolac01@reddit

We did at 33 with 2 kids from the states to London :) Best decision for us as a family as we knew we wanted the kids to experience a childhood outside what was in the states and that was the main driver for the move (plus a job relocation). Our parents are getting older and it does get tougher but we know we did right by the kids.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

Really interesting inputs. :) Do you mind me asking how you’ve found the overall work life balance since relocating? And how do you handle being far from parents/family, do you visit every year?

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stolac01@reddit

Work life balance has been much better for us vs the states, along with the benefits, ie holidays (people actually taking days they have). And we have family visit here or we visit them so we see each other once a year and FaceTime every week :)

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

That’s great, glad it worked out so nicely for you :) Thanks for sharing your thoughts!

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stolac01@reddit

Thank you and best wishes!

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AzureRipper@reddit

I'm 32, moved around quite a few countries with work, and my last move was at 28. I've had a lot of colleagues who moved countries (and continents) in their 30s, even 40s. Some people were moving to their partner's home country, so they had an intention to stay long term there. Others were in a similar boat of trying out a stint in an Asian country (Singapore / Japan / Vietnam / Thailand) because there was a situation that provided them that opportunity. One of these is a close friend (EU national) who moved to Thailand for an internal transfer when she was 30 and got pregnant shortly afterwards.

Based on this limited 2nd hand experience, I would say that it's never too late for these experiences. I think the biggest difference will be whether you view this as a long-term move or a short-term stint (3-5 years ish). For a short-term stint, you'll get a great experience and step out of your comfort zone. If you don't have kids yet, the move might also be easier if you don't have to worry about moving kids and schools. You also won't have to worry about integrating or taking the (future) kids far away from your parents.

If you're seeing it as a long-term move, then you probably need to think of it in a very different way. Work life balance in Asian countries is pretty much non-existent and I know HK is much worse than Tokyo on cost of housing per sq m. So you might face a lot of challenges in raising kids there, rather than just having them. And language will start to become a major barrier if you want to fully integrate.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

Thanks, really interesting perspective actually!

I think for us it would probably be more of a few years move rather than forever, maybe raise kids there while they’re young and move back later to UK once we’ve built enough savings. Of course this can change any time…

Out of curiosity, do you feel the overall quality of life compensates for the heavier work culture and workload in HK? :)

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AzureRipper@reddit

I worked in Japan and Singapore, never HK.

I LOVED Japan and it was always my dream to live there... but the work culture, language, and just practical difficulties in building a long-term career there made me move. It wasn't exactly a choice - I just couldn't find English-friendly opportunities that were interesting to me. That's also what makes me encourage you to make this move. Such opportunities involve a lot of luck and you may not get a similar chance again, that pays well, takes you to another country, AND is aligned with professional goals (it sounds like it is).

Having said that, it's best to view it as a "different" experience rather than an "objectively better" experience. When I first moved to Japan, I was really happy to be there, so I was okay with the work culture, but then found myself burning out in a couple of years. Now, I live in Copenhagen, with amazing work-life balance, but occassionally feel bored and miss the faster-paced life in Tokyo (and other bigger cities). I've learned to go with the flow and figure out what makes sense NOW instead of thinking about several years in the future.

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snazzysid1@reddit

I’ve moved at 23, 25,27,29,32,33,36,39,40,54

So yeah. It’s an adventure.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

If you don’t mind me asking, what motivated your moves? And were you mostly doing it single, or with family?

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snazzysid1@reddit

Money and opportunity. Started out with a partner and added kids to it. Now the kids are grown so it’s just us on our own. No regrets. Kids are more worldly as a result.

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Mannimal13@reddit

Overall your pay rate is going up 50% and if you have kids in next few years its not like it makes that much of a difference until they hit school age. That's nearly a decade away from your timeline. Considering all the uncertainty about the future Id take the money and make sure you are investing aggressively. That's just me though.

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No-Butterscotch0503@reddit

Personally I wound take that opportunity in a heartbeat, but not without researching about costo of living and housing affordability vs your salary and your current living conditions in London. I mean I would want to keep the same standard of living at least, be able to afford a similar house/apartment, have a similar % or disposable income, all the rest. If by all means your new job offer looks better, as well as career progression, then I’d take it no questions asked!

Moving countries in your 30s is waaaayy better than in your 20s. Chances are you have more stable finances and job prospects, and that allows you to land with more stability, benefits and even help from the company that’s moving you, it’s not like landing by yourself with just a suitcase, a finite bunch of cash, and not knowing anyone in a whole country. Moving in your 30s to me feels a lot more sure footed than in your 20s, in your 20’s can be a lot more about adventure and risky

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

Financially speaking we’d still be comfortable and could afford a similar apartment + keep saving, assuming my spouse’s internal move works out too (if not, we’d need to reassess a bit!)

One of the concerns is probably work life balance, since we’d likely both work harder and longer hours there. I’d need to build new connections and reputation from scratch since it’ll be a new firm.

But you’re right about moving in your 30s, it feels less risky knowing we at least have savings and a bit of a safety net if things don’t go to plan!

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bertles86@reddit

Do it.

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cngjfks@reddit

I’m originally from Australia, so is my husband. we have lived in Canada, Finland, and France and loved it. We now live in Ireland and absolutely hate it, it absolutely sucks here and even though it’s the only English speaking place we have lived since Australia (we were in French Canada), we both feel more foreign here than we ever have elsewhere. It’s only now that I miss home and family in Australia in a way that I can’t shake.

Unfortunately, we are stuck here for at least 3 years (otherwise we have to repay moving costs….), and I am thinking of changing careers as a result, even though I love my job so, so much.

All this is to say that it can be really great to move, but it will depend on how well you are able to fit in and what kind of relationship you have with your family, and a whole bunch of other factors.

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JackStabba@reddit

What do you dislike so much about Ireland? I’m Australian and assumed Irish culture would be much like our own.

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cngjfks@reddit

The weather is crap, the rents are way less affordable than Australia (and I say this as someone from Sydney and who has lived in New York…), the healthcare system and any kind of public service is generally rubbish and not free.

People here are also only superficially friendly in the same way that you find in the areas full of wankers in Sydney, and it has that same sense of being impossible to make friends with any locals unless you went to school or uni here, and the groups of friend tend to be segregated by sex or gender. The Irish generally stick with their own.

So, in some sense, it has a lot in common with Australia in those ways. All of that is fine if you are from the place, but when you’re not, it is quite crap.

What it does have, that doesn’t exist in the white Australian culture is jolly naivety; the bleak and self deprecating humour here masks generational trauma and catholic guilt. That brings some good things, like there is less racism here, most people are pro Palestine etc, not anti-immigration, and also, generally speaking more educated than the average Australian, but it comes with a lingering cloud of heaviness that seems to permeate the affect of the place.

I think these are things that would only really stand out if you lived here, and wouldn’t as a tourist.

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JackStabba@reddit

Wow sounds shit! I’m in Hong Kong and so can recommend it for your next move once you get out of Ireland. Good weather, plenty of local friends, good healthcare. High rent but at least the tax is incredibly low so it kind of balances out.

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cngjfks@reddit

I would love to live in Hong Kong, but I have asthma, so it’s almost impossible for me to live there healthily 😭 I have so many friends in HK though who love living there!!

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Soul_Survivor81@reddit

Note the weather in Hong Kong is generally awesome.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

Honestly… the weather is a bigger factor than I’d like to admit 😂

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Soul_Survivor81@reddit

Can’t blame you, especially living in the UK…
Obviously it has it’s imperfections as every place in the world does, but Hong Kong is great.
Please do note that speaking English is not as common as many would expect, I would strongly advise some language classes.

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JackStabba@reddit

You reckon? I think the English in Hong Kong is generally pretty great, probably second in east and south east Asia only to Singapore? And Cantonese is such a damn difficult language to learn, most people’s English will far exceed whatever Cantonese you might learn. I have had much better results learning mandarin.

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owzleee@reddit

Check out the stuff you’ll need to pay in lieu of tax.
HK is *really* expensive.

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JackStabba@reddit

It doesn’t need to be, it depends on where you live. Apartments can be sizeable and relatively cheap if you live in the New Territories.

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JackStabba@reddit

I moved to Hong Kong at the age of 29 with my wife and I’m still here at 32. For all the reasons you already listed, you should do it. The visa laws are very advantageous for your partner. On a spousal visa they can work straightaway and will actually have a better visa than you as they can change jobs without any visa hassle or need for a sponsor. My wife has had a better career here than she did back home in Australia! You will never experience an easier migration process. Also, you’re right next door to mainland China, which is an amazing place to travel through. We spend a lot of weekends catching cheap high speed trains to wherever we feel like in China.

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funlovinggay@reddit

Just go … you don’t want to regret not taking the opportunity.

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Low_Stress_9180@reddit

I did it at your age. Never regretted it.

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taxnomad@reddit

For sure.

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Original_Musician161@reddit

the "stable life is good but something is missing" feeling is underrated as a reason to move. not everything needs a crisis to justify it. did it at a similar point and the main gain wasn't the place, it was realizing the stability wasn't as load-bearing as it seemed

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truman_actor@reddit

Do it. HK is great if you want to start a family because of the affordable help. I know families who won‘t go back because they’re just so used to having help. It is actually feasible to still maintain a social life even with young kids in HK.

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SeanBourne@reddit

In 2026, I wouldn’t. London has way better career optionality than Hong Kong in finance at this point - and Hong Kong isn’t what it was even in the mid 2010s from a ‘vibrant expat’ standpoint.

If you want to make up the comp difference I suspect you can shop around in London and make that up (though there maybe a lifestyle trade off - but that wouldn’t be different in the HK role).

Add in that you want to have kids and your parents are getting older and moving halfway around the world is not the play.

(This is as a North American living in Sydney currently thinking London is the next move for both of the life reasons.)

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

I think part of why I want to leave London is actually tax and cost of living and thinking longer term about kids. Even on a good salary it sometimes feels like half disappears immediately 😅

My partner also has HK roots which is partly why we started considering the move, but neither of us has actually worked there before so it still feels like pretty unknown territory.

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SeanBourne@reddit

Fair - I totally get wanting to keep more of what you earn - I mean half does disappear immediately on a good salary, haha.

On the plus side, with your SO having HK roots, at least the ‘vibrant expat’ factor doesn’t matter nearly as much.

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hannahkayxoxoxo@reddit

You should defo do it 100%

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Due_County_1493@reddit

None of these moves are permanent. Go for a couple years and then move back to UK. I moved to Europe from US in my mid 30s and now that my partner and I want to have kids we’re moving back to the US to be close to family.

Everything in life is seasons- better to decide what this one is for you vs putting the stress on yourself of also knowing the next ones!

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Tiberius666@reddit

I relocated from the UK to Netherlands in my late 30s.

Single guy, no dependants, IT worker.

Probably best life decision I ever made for pure quality of life, doubled my salary and now own my apartment in the middle of Amsterdam.

Making a success of this from what I've seen with other people who've moved here tends to hinge a lot on how social you are generally. Nobody makes friends staying in the house every day.

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riskeverything@reddit

yes, recently married at the time, no kids, ended up working all over the world. Excellent decision. Hardest issue is spouse. I’d recommend living in discovery bay as family and expat friendly

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

How did you time your move with your spouse? Did you move at the same time or different times?

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riskeverything@reddit

Moved at same time . the working spouse has the instant colleagues but the non working spouse starts from scratch- it’s tough for them

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Careless_Pie_803@reddit

Go. I left in my 40s and wish I’d gone sooner.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

Where did you move, and from where?

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Careless_Pie_803@reddit

US-Germany

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Overall_Plantain197@reddit

Go, I grew up abroad (Middle East and Hong Kong) as parents moved abroad and I left the UK at 37 (a 13 years ago).

Life is better, finances MUCH better. Distance from friends and family can be tough so it depends on you and your family

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Jinniblack@reddit

Is there no way to accept a 'permanent' relocation, but keep your CV current and your options open? (Keep your flat, but rent it out. Keep your ear to the ground when it comes to other opportunities, etc.)

Often, these kinds of moves can really accelerate a career, but can you use that fuel to move you to a different firm in some years with this higher title and specialized knowledge under your belt?

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

If we do decide to move we’d definitely be keeping in mind that we probably wouldn’t stay there forever (maybe 5–7 years, potentially until ILR). It would definitely accelerate my career though. But then again if kids happen, you never really know… we may end up getting stuck there haha.

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fck-nzs1@reddit

Best years of my life. Living in Hong Kong as a well paid expat is like a dream. Just having a domestic maid alone is a LIFE CHANGER.

Primary and secondary education there is excellent. (Assutyour kids would attend private or international schools). Also a million times safer than London.

Go live in HONG LOK YUEN.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

That’s one of the reasons why we are considering the move, safe streets and good school for kids, despite everything is a lot more expensive. Do you have a spouse and if so do they work? How easily were they able to find a job and did you move at the same time?

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

As a household we’re already over the £100k mark, I’m personally over that threshold in London, so tax is definitely one of the factors pushing us to consider the move too. I moved to the UK 8 years ago and recently naturalized, so I know what rebuilding life in another country feels like. My husband has roots in Hong Kong and speaks Cantonese, although he’s never worked there himself.

I think the difficult part for me is more the emotional side of starting over again in my 30s, new job, new country, new environment, potentially rebuilding our support system from scratch. London feels stable and parents can visit me relatively easily (2.5 hours by flight), so I’m having a bit of a crisis trying to figure out whether we’re making a brave decision or leaving security behind.

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Old-Oven-8851@reddit

Just remember that you can always go back.

30F, from Italy and at the age of 21 I moved to Heidelberg, Germany, then at 22 to London, then again to Germany where I stayed for 8 years. I went back to Italy for one year and a half and I moved to Sydney. I was in Sydney as an au pair and my hostfamily was leaving me homeless around NY's Eve, so I came back to Italy after only six months as opposite to my one year plan on Australia.

I loved Hong Kong as a tourist, as you get the perfect balance between city, nature, beaches, fun and shopping and the weather is lovely. Plus, as a theme park lover I love that they have Disneyland and also others. I have also been many times to Mainland China and HK is a perfect gateway to it. I think I am biased as HK, China, Japan and Australia are my favorite places in the world - I have been to 30 countries.

If you feel you want to come back once there you can book a flight and return to Europe. When my hostfamily told me on November that I should have emptied my room on the 28th of December I immediately booked a flight to Rome for less than 48 hours later.

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Unfair_Bank1091@reddit

Well it’s difficult to simply answer if it’s a good idea or not. Honestly if you are happy where you are and you do have everything you need, then why take risk especially thinking about your children? Just because of money or because they potentially would have better possibilities there? Idk how is it in the UK but if I’m not mistaken the working culture in China is much different than in Europe. Maybe you get 1,5x better salary but at the same time you will have to work 2x harder and burn out in overwork, which would affect your children too sooner or later. This is a pretty big risk. But on the other hand, if your children could learn Chinese, then that could be definitely a valuable skill for them later. These are just the first pros and cons that came to my mind, of course there can be hundreds.

In my personal opinion, there should be more reason than money if you want to risk this, but this is just my own opinion, I don’t see the whole picture.

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hejitron@reddit

hello! i just made the same move but from the US about a year ago. 33F, single, just me and my dog who moved with me. my salary increase was nowhere near as much as yours but im living a decent life here and saving more than i would have if i stayed in america. i know HK isn’t for me long term, but i also had a similar thought of “what if?” and “why not?”. I knew I would regret it if I didn’t take the opportunity. at the very least, it’s a fun side quest that allows you to see another part of the world and visit so many neighboring countries that are only 3-4 hours away!

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mensmelted@reddit

I did at 50. I had a stable job, a good wage and owned my house. But me, my wife and my daughters were unhappy. They were the real motivation for my choice of relocating. We moved to Brussels 5 years ago and never regretted.

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ItsReemAlBlahBlahDee@reddit

If I was single, I’d do it in a heartbeat. With family and aging parents, I’d want my kids to grow up around them. However, this is entirely personal, factor in tha Hong Kong is expensive and determine how much you guys can end up saving - if at all.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

That’s very true, and honestly that’s exactly the part I’m struggling with. Financially it would probably make sense for us, I’d be on a relatively high salary there and taxes are much lower than in the UK, so savings potential would almost certainly be better even with Hong Kong costs.

The harder part is more personal/emotional. Being far from family and potentially delaying kids for a few years feels like the real sacrifice, not necessarily the move itself.

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theearthisflatonmaps@reddit

Where would you consider relocating to?

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MilkChocolate21@reddit

How does COL impact your savings rate? Will the salary increase and lower taxes cover family sized housing and schooling? Since the money is tempting, make sure it will really provide that advantage for a family of 3 or 4.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

Financially it would definitely be a good salary for Hong Kong, especially with the lower taxes, but I’m also realistic that once you factor in larger housing, potential kids, flights back to Europe regularly etc., it probably stops feeling “super rich” quite quickly.

My husband would realistically need to work too if we wanted to comfortably cover future kids-related expenses and maintain a good quality of life, which adds another layer to the decision since he’d potentially be giving up stability initially because of my opportunity.

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MilkChocolate21@reddit

Good luck with your decision. I think you're correct about the inflection point. It would be easy to do 5 yrs ago or single. I think many ppl I know who landed there will be there for life (I'm American).

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KulshanStudios@reddit

I did it at 38

Best decision ever

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

From where did you move to where? Did you have any difficulties?

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KulshanStudios@reddit

From US, to Sweden, to Georgia, and eventually, back to Sweden

I'm a dual national with Sweden, and have many friends, and my GF is Georgian, so, no difficulties

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Consistent-Barber428@reddit

What does your spouse think? If they are ready to go have an adventure, then I would do it.

There’s no practical difference between 25 and 34, except for fertility issues. I know it feels like there is; people will tell you there is; society will try to convince you that you should be living in a certain way, but trust a 65 yo who has had 5 different careers and been married 3 times, you have a loooooong life ahead of you. You can choose to have adventures, well, almost, forever. If your parents are healthy, they will likely live another 30 years. They won’t need you for decades.

That said, keep in mind that Hong Kong is going through some difficult changes as China asserts more, and more rigid, control. You will be moving from one of the world’s great democracies to a totalitarian regime. I’m not sure what that means for expats and, potentially, their children, from a social and political POV. Perhaps it has little practical effect. If you are comfortable with that, I would unhesitatingly do it.

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DenOnKnowledge@reddit

If you have a stable social circle and you parents live nearby, I would strongly recommend not to do it. For a relatively small increase in pay, you will essentially destroy to some extent everything you've been building for years.

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Working-Active@reddit

I moved from Atlanta to Barcelona when I was 33 and I had to start all over again. For me it was worth it even though I moved without having a job lined up and just had savings from selling my house. Overall better work life balance, better public health care and my wife is happy as she never adjusted to living in Atlanta.

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khkhkh1@reddit

Late 20s and single, moved two years ago. A great experience and I learned a lot about myself, but I miss my family and stability (financially and emotionally) and I am planning on moving back in a year. I don’t think the financial aspect of relocating is talked about enough. However, if you have enough saved incase you change your mind and want to move back, do it.

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number1alien@reddit

I would jump at the chance to move to Hong Kong at the same salary, let alone a 40% increase. But that's just my emotions and preferences for city living talking.

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yeahsureican@reddit

I grew up in Hong Kong- it’s an amazing city! Would love to live there again as an adult

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Efficient_Science_47@reddit

I had a nice stable job and family in the UK. Got a nice offer to move abroad and took it. I had just turned 41. No regrets.

Mind you, I've been foreign all my life so this distance is not something new to me. My father is almost 80, still lives abroad. My brother and I have barely lived in the same country, let alone continent

It's not for everyone, that is for sure. You start from scratch socially and professionally. If you hate it, you'll need to move back. Any dependants moving with you may also need to adjust. Kids do that much better than adults. And having a partner give up their job to move with can be a source of tension with time. Trailing husbands or wives can get very bored if they were used to working, and no guarantee they will ever find work.

You are good to be cautious, but it could also be the best decision you ever took.

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dat_mane47@reddit

Just saying I live in HK in my 30s and it’s honestly the best time to be here. Great expat community and a wonderful place to live. Do it

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Cornholio231@reddit

Kids are not as much of a hindrance to moving around as needing to take care of your parents.

Go explore the world while you still can.

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Defiant-Dare1223@reddit

I left London at 31 with a new born.

Never regretted it. You can always go back.

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Few_Interaction_2411@reddit

Go for it, life is a journey of experiences!

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papa-hare@reddit

I wouldn't relocate right now but there's no way another country could pay me better. I also have a mortgage so that makes things harder.

Anyway, I'm kinda jealous of your opportunity though, I think I would take it in your shoes.

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curiouslyhungry@reddit

I work in finance too. Relocated when my children were 14 and 16 (just starting gcses and a levels). We did London to amsterdam. I think it was one of the best decisions we ever made. I think daughters and wife would agree.

It is addictive though. 6 years later and my wife and i are in the US

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WafflingToast@reddit

It’s probably easier to have a kid there. Easier to afford a nanny.

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gowithflow192@reddit

The only drawback is the distance to parents. But if they are both alive (they have each other), not a big deal.

Go for it.

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Vast-Departure-3199@reddit

AI Slop

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machine-conservator@reddit

I did in my mid-30s. It was nice to make a big move like that with solid footing in my career and a good chunk of savings to help make the landing easy. Much different experience than moving cities in my 20s.

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Vinc_Sz26@reddit

One life

J'ai vécu 7 ans en Asie et je ne regrette pas. De plus, on apprécie encore plus la vie "normale" lors du retour d'expatriation

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pajamapolice@reddit

If your spouse quits their job to join you, what are their career/job prospects in HK? If they can't get a new job quickly, is your (albeit increased) income enough to support you both indefinitely and would they be happy or stressed?

I made this move at 33 and learned so much and enjoyed it, but I wasn't partnered up so it was a no brainer.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

For the first few months we’d probably be okay financially on my income alone, but long term I think he’d realistically need to work too for us to feel comfortable, especially if kids eventually enter the picture.

I think the emotional side is honestly just as important though. I do worry about the pressure, giving up stability and then needing time to rebuild professionally in a completely new environment.

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pajamapolice@reddit

If you won't be comfortable without his income, his career prospects are going to be the make or break in this decision IMO.

Depending on his industry, if he doesn't speak Cantonese and/or Mandarin, the job opportunities may be very limited.

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RoundAd4247@reddit

Immigrate. People move and immigrate, companies and financial entities “relocate”. I hope you are a human being?

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

Fair enough 😅 I used “relocate” because it started as a job opportunity discussion in my head, but I understand your point that once it becomes long term, it’s really immigration from a life perspective.

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Sufficient-Job7098@reddit

For how long they are sending you abroad?

After certain times your “relocation” becomes an immigration, with all the negatives that comes with immigration.

So if you keep it short then your relocation will carry fewer potential negatives and will unlikely require major long term planning, major restructuring of your life.

That said I personally would not move my family for a year, I would just take vacations instead.

( I immigrated in my mid 20s)

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

In my case it would actually be more of a permanent relocation rather than a temporary assignment, since the role itself is based in Hong Kong. I initially told myself “maybe 5 years,” but realistically if we ended up having kids there it could easily become much longer than that.

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DifferentWindow1436@reddit

I would put that part aside. I am guessing your company will treat you as a "local hire", right? I.e. - you would not be seconded nor have a specific path back to the UK?

That does not mean this is a permanent decision. I'd stay away from the mindset that this is something once done that cannot be changed. I moved to Japan 3x and back to America twice. Took some negotiating and timing, but I did it. And organizations change too - you might have more opportunities and relationships internally that simply don't exist now.

I would look at how you feel about the role, the offer, and how your family will adjust. What support will they have. Also, your feelings are very valid about leaving home and family. It's something I wonder about as I get older (abroad for 20 of the past 30 adult years now).

Also, perhaps you could look at what you want out of this experience? Would you like a few years of international living? Plenty of expats do a 2 to 3 year stint and move back and it works for them.

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

That’s actually a really helpful perspective, thank you. And yes, from what I understand I’d essentially be treated as a local hire. I’d actually start in London for the first few months, and then once I’ve learned the basics / completed training I’d be relocated to Hong Kong permanently afterwards.

I think part of what’s overwhelming me is exactly what the first comment mentioned, once kids/family/life get involved, a “5 year move” can quietly become immigration without fully realizing it.

There are also a lot of other life things tied into the decision beyond just the role itself, potentially giving up our flat in London, my husband having to restart professionally because of my move, delaying kids a little longer, being further away from aging parents, etc.

At the same time, it’s reassuring hearing from people who have moved countries multiple times and managed to come back again later too. I think mentally I’ve been treating this decision as much more irreversible than it maybe actually is.

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HVP2019@reddit

Worth mentioning another common problem people on this sub need help with. Some people move temporary and see how they like it so they can decide later.

But after 2-5 years of such trail run they understand that at this point it is time to decide should they stay or should they go, but unfortunately both options ( staying abroad or going home) have similar amount of positives and negatives.

I am not saying this to sway your decision. I am saying this so you will anticipate that decision to stay in HK or to return home can be similarly not-obvious.

This is another problem that is impossible to give advice.

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Sufficient-Job7098@reddit

Well, call a spade a spade and get into habit of thinking about it as “immigration” not just “relocation”

You are about to pick a country your kids will consider their home. They will grow culturally different than you. Your parents will grow old without you. You will miss tons of weddings, births and funerals. You may have to figure out your retirement in foreign currency.

Both you and your spouse may develop very different opinions about your host country, will have different experiences finding friends, dealing with loneliness and assimilation, being away from home, raising kids away from home, growing old away from home. It is possible one of you will want to stay while another will want to leave. This can create extremely messy problems.

I don’t mean to paint a negative picture. I have been a happy immigrant for 2+ decades, I have a partner and we raised 3 kids.

I was OK with negatives I mentioned but, for some reason, many people don’t expect those problems, move abroad and then ask advice how to deal with those issues. There is not much that can be done at that point.

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MilkChocolate21@reddit

Nobody likes to think worst case scenario but I definitely know people who will never be able to return to their home countries bc they had kids abroad and divorced. The kids are fully foreign citizens who would be unlikely to even attend college in their parents' home country, and leaving would mean being half a world away from them

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

That’s honestly one of the things that scares me the most about moving abroad long term. It’s easy to think “we can always move back later,” but once kids, schools, citizenships and entire lives become tied to another country, it obviously becomes much more complicated emotionally and practically.

I think that’s partly why this decision feels so much heavier than just “taking a new job.” Thank you for sharing that perspective.

it’s not something people talk about very openly, but it’s important to think about realistically too.

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rmk556x45@reddit

This right here!

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Present-Carob-7366@reddit

Will your partner be able to get a job/allowed to work? What do they think of the move? If you get a 40% increase but become the sole earner and your partner hates sitting at home all day in a tiny apartment?

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

My partner actually has roots in Hong Kong, although he’s never worked there before, so it wouldn’t feel completely random for him.

That said, it would probably take him some time to find a good job there since an internal relocation isn’t guaranteed. He also likely wouldn’t move at the exact same time as me initially, which definitely adds another layer of uncertainty to the decision.

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terdles1121@reddit

I left a job a many in my field coveted and moved abroad at 34. Not married, no kids, but have a dog. Its been 1 year now and its been one of the best decisions I've made.

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AstroRoverToday@reddit

Yes (I did) but only with the same firm. Changing continents (and new culture) AND firm (with new culture) is too much uncertainty. Changing only one at a time is better! On the other hand, YOLO 🤣

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Extreme-Song-8143@reddit (OP)

Honestly that would probably be my ideal scenario too! same firm, just different location/culture. But unfortunately I don’t think that’s realistic for me for at least the next few years, maybe longer. There just don’t seem to be any openings internally in the foreseeable future 😅