How many times is too many times to raise noise issues with a neighbour?

Posted by Stak1704@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 18 comments

I’m looking for some advice on how to handle a neighbour situation without becoming “that neighbour”.

I live in a flat and the person above me walks very heavily. It’s not music or parties or anything antisocial — just loud stomping/heel-walking that I can hear throughout the day and sometimes late at night.

The awkward part is that I’ve mentioned it to her a number of times over the years. Every time she’s actually been really nice and understanding about it, and things improve for a while… but eventually it goes back to how it was before. We otherwise get on fine.

I feel bad bringing it up repeatedly because I imagine it’s annoying to keep hearing the same complaint, especially when she’s never been rude about it. But at the same time, it genuinely affects my comfort at home.

Has anyone dealt with this kind of thing before? Is there a polite long-term way to handle it? Or is this just one of those unavoidable flat-living realities?

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Difficult_Style207@reddit

I too had a downstsirs neighbour who hsted me walking. My poor toddler son couuldnt run or jump or dance without her banging on her ceiling. The day she left, the whole block had a party.

not_depressed_123@reddit

It’s pretty simple… just talk to your neighbor.

IntelligentNeck8157@reddit

Don’t know if it’s the same reason but I pace back and forth constantly. I got OCD at a severe level and it causes me to pace over and over again sometimes for hours or until my feet have blisters, usually happens when I’m anxious about something or on the phone. Sometimes when I have people over and I’m talking to them and I will place my footsteps in the same spot everytime and count to a even number until I’m temporarily satisfied then do it all over again until I’m worn out. Thankfully I don’t have downstairs neighbours but I know if I did and they asked me to stop I’d apologise and try to stop but I’d inevitably have to pace again and probably pace even more due to being anxious that there mad at me for it.

JazzyJ967@reddit

3 times. Once is a warning, twice is a “if this happens again” scenario & 3 times?

You need to escalate it

Hot-Falcon-1638@reddit

Escalate what, walking??

Emergency-Lock5505@reddit

By doing what? It’s how she walks, it’s not her fault the floor is thin enough the neighbour below can hear it

Aggressive-Waltz1126@reddit

My downstairs neighbour had the same complaint about us, we were 1st floor of a converted house. Landlord replaced the carpet and installed better underlay. TBF the carpet looked like it hadn't been replaced in 20 years.

PM-me-your-cuppa-tea@reddit

I completely relate, I live in the penultimate floor, so my upstairs neighbours have no idea how loud footsteps can be and their kids run around constantly

But I don't think you can reasonably ask her to stop moving around the flat,

I'd focus on what you want from this, like is there a particular time that it's really annoying? You mention late at night, I think that's a reasonable and specific request you can make to her

Sea-Still5427@reddit

I try to distinguish between reasonable and unreasonable noise. Walking is reasonable, so try to focus on a fix that would make it bearable for you, like heavy rugs or better soundproofing underlay and offer to help pay for it. Also add more soft furnishings to your own place as they help to soften noise.

If you own your flat, be wary of escalating as you may have to declare it when you sell.

Freedom-For-Ever@reddit

I'm sure it is just the shoes she wears. Maybe buy her some soft soled slippers?

Dissidant@reddit

Hoover the ceiling

ElevatorHour8020@reddit

Your neighbour is not doing anything wrong.

Open-Trip@reddit

Have a chat with her from the angle of wanting to find a solution. There are lots of great products out there for this kind of thing, such as rubber underlays, etc. Here's a good example: https://www.soundproofingstore.co.uk/soundmat-3-plus

I realise it depends on whether she owns the property or is a tenant, but maybe you could look at splitting the cost between you?

cloudmountainio@reddit

Rented or owned?

Tbh without hearing it myself it’s hard to say but I don’t think walking is an unacceptable noise unless they’re wearing heavy shoes all the time etc. I doubt it would meet any official noise complaint threshold.

I get it though. I’ve lived in flats and it can get noisy, mention it to her, maybe she’ll put some rugs down etc.

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