That isn't enough to stick in your eye (This from some elderly friends from the Greatest Generation. We thought it was so hilarious we continued to use it for years.)

Better than a sharp stick in the ear

Homelier than a mud fence

Who's "she"? The cat in the corner? (It's rude to speak of someone in the room with you in the third person)

Queerer than a three dollar bill

I ain't no ugly truck (I never understood this one. Nobody thought you were an ugly truck, mom!)

Colder than a well diggers bottom. Or molasses in January.

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stuck_behind_a_truck@reddit

People definitely get when I say I’m busier than a one-legged man in a kicking contest.

There’s also “up to my eyeballs in alligators.” I don’t think people get that one anymore.

Whenever I expressed a childish wish (as an actual child), my mom would say “if wishes horses, beggars would ride.” She can fuck right off with that one. I never used it on anyone. I’m guessing, however, that it was a Depression era saying that she picked up from her grandmother.

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MontanaPurpleMtns@reddit

My mother came of age during the depression. I rather liked the saying. But then, she did use it at me.

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NotAnotherThing@reddit

Don't be like Sweeney with the wooden ear.

🤣

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jasondbk@reddit

In 2000 I was teaching adults computer skills. Ages went from 21-60. I asked “who’s on first?”

Even the 30 year old went “what?”

I showed them the YouTube video and they were dumbfounded.

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town1d10t@reddit

"What?" --> "He signs lightbulbs."

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Feeling-Lock3170@reddit

I said Far Out the other day and all the youngins at work fell out.

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wyohman@reddit

You make a better door than a window.

My grandma used to say, “My stars!” and “Hot blocks!” When something was amazing.

And “Oh Governor!” When something was ridiculous.

I still say “oh Governor!”

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ehhhhhhwatevs@reddit

Crazy is as crazy does--like actions speak louder than words, but meaning how you act matters more than what you think

When you argue with an idiot everyone else sees 2 idiots (sub in assholes, crazies, whatever)

Crazy is doing the same thing twice expecting a different result

NoSweatBetting@reddit

My dad always called the computer "the confuser" & I still do to this day

He also had all the classics in rotation: - heavens to betsy / heavens to murgatroyd - far out, dig it - put a sock in it

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rdnkgrrl18@reddit

My dad says they WEE-FEE is off (wi-fi)
He calls JC Pennys - Jacque Penay
And target is Tarjay

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NoSweatBetting@reddit

Had some more memories trickle in since this post - we were a "botton box" family, those "clicker" people were not to be trusted

A kid doesn’t need a good or valid reason to cry, man. Kids emotions don’t work like that

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djcaco@reddit

I used to play canasta with my Gram and her friends during the summer. They always said

‘Sh!t and two’s eight when they had a bad hand.’

‘If you had a brain you’d be dangerous.’

‘Ass over tea kettle’

‘Dressed to the nines’

‘Guess I’ll rest when I’m dead’

From my dad

‘Do I look like I own the electric company’

‘You gonna heat the town or the whole county’

‘If I had two bits I’d buy a cup of coffee’

‘Go get me a switch, you won’t be ‘saying’ or ‘doing’ (which ever applied) that anymore’

‘If I said that, my daddy’d get out the 2x4. Yep, he and his brothers were beat with a 2x4

‘Hard as an old buckboard’

I still use most of sayings in this thread.

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EngineeringTom@reddit

Ehhh…maybe.

The buick one is referencing a car salesman and how when that person drank they got chatty, charismatic, Funny, witty etc

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Caustinot123@reddit

Funny me I thought it meant the sound they made when they vomited….buick

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kylanmama@reddit

Maybe. But my olders always used it like that and didn't always include the tequila part. Was some times followed by "he couldve/would've sold icecubes to Eskimos"

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SamSun60@reddit

Ah

Thank you.

Gramma T. Said sheesh. I love the word, my mother hates it

Finer than frogs hair split three ways. (And of course when you asked just how fine he’d say ya ever see one?)

When you call someone and talk( hang up, then answer it’s me again Margaret

If the devil danced in empty pockets, he’d have a ball in mine

Hotter than a doorknob in a brothel on nickel nite

Drunker than cooter brown

@@

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myskara@reddit

Or “fresh”.

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Civil_Concentrate_23@reddit

Yes!! “Fresh” I got that too. Thanks:))

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BaldGuy813@reddit

My grandmother had some fun ones.

Whatcha selling? What are you trying to convince me of?

Who is SHE? The cat? Said after calling my mom 'she' and not mom.

Did it say, "Touch me" when we kids were playing with something we were not supposed to be playing with.

"For crying out loud."

My grandmother would also call it the “toolyweeds”

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SaltMarshGoblin@reddit

My grandmother would also call it the “toolyweeds”

Was she from California or Oregon? I wonder if that was originally from "tule" (pronounced tooley), the tall marsh rushes out here. We have tule fog, and tule elk, and multiple towns named after the stuff. It's easy to imagine it it being called "toolyweeds", and being used as shorthand for the middle of nowhere!

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Blue4668@reddit

Shit fire & save matches.

I learned that one in the early 90s in an academic-aligned office. We worked with a representative from the University of California during a period when the chancellor of U of C had a certain--churn.

It was explained that the role was for a mushroom. That the first year, they keep you in the dark. Second year they feed you shit. And the third, they can you.

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Stop beating a dead horse.

The teenager was gobsmacked that I’d even consider such a thing and insisted on knowing whose horse it was and how did it die. 🤣🤣🤣

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Alit_Quar@reddit

It died from the beating of course. That's how you know to stop.

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latitude30@reddit

"Well, I'll be dipped in banana oil!" My dad used to say it to express surprise, without really acknowledging he was wrong about whatever he learned.

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Alit_Quar@reddit

Never heard the banana oil version before.

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Komaisnotsalty@reddit

"I brought you in to this world, I will take you out."

"Stop crying or I'll give you something to cry about" (which doesn't even make sense!)

"You wanna lickin'? Then stop it."

"I'm going to pull the over and you can walk the rest of the way home."

"Don't pick your nose or your head will cave in"

"Clean your room or I'm throwing everything in the burn pile" (which was a threat that was followed through on, once)

"Don't sit on your legs like that, or they'll have to rip your legs open and put tubes in your legs to get the blood going." (yep, my dad. All 9 grades of education of him)

magicjenn_3@reddit

🤣🤣🤣🙊

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birdlord_d@reddit

"You'd better put your nose to the grindstone." [My dad everytime he was angry at my report card]

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Alit_Quar@reddit

Keep your nose to the grindstone, your shoulder to the wheel, and your eye on the ball. Now try to work that way.

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ReachParticular5409@reddit

which is funny because Millers will tell you that it's a seriously bad idea to get your fleshy bits anywhere near the grindstone when it is in operation

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twas_brillig__@reddit

lol “Are you kids behaving?”

To go back and redo something because you did a poor job the first time

No idea how the car trunk got called turtle hull but everyone I knew when I was a kid called it that.

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Alit_Quar@reddit

Be good. If you can't be good, be careful.

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ResponsibleParsnip18@reddit

When we misbehaved, my mom used to say, “I’ll cut the blood out of you!”

It didn’t bother me until I was an adult and actually thought about what she said.

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ReachParticular5409@reddit

that's metal AF ngl

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Alit_Quar@reddit

It's literal. It refers to abuse, whether OP's mom followed through or not. It meant you were going to be beaten with a switch until it drew blood. My mother did follow through. Often.

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Alit_Quar@reddit

Not that it makes it much better, but it was a reference to using a switch hard enough to draw blood. My mother not only said it, she followed through. Sometimes with a cattle whip.

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FirstLalo@reddit

gif

"Dog in the manger" often requires explanation these days.

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shamwowj@reddit

That time when Jesus left the door open..

If Sandy’s mom let her jump off a bridge…

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After I’d misbehaved, “Your ass is grass and I’m a lawnmower.”

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Squidalopod@reddit

"Everybody and their brother!"

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magicjenn_3@reddit

Some broad....etc....

Sorry about that - say you ask your grandma how long it's going to take.

"Oh, maybe a couple of three days"

Diarygirl@reddit

My mom would say "Crazy, and you're driving the bus!"

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TwoBitFish@reddit

Hey!
Hay is for horses.

Horseshoes and hand grenades.

Via the housemate....

How does it feel to want?

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ReadGardenCamp@reddit

I still don’t understand what my dad meant
Me: “I thought…” Him: “Thought doesn’t live here anymore!”

If I was daydreaming or silly dallying he said “you’re like a cat by the wurst” (which seems quite inappropriate to say to a kid).

“So old, he’s walking around to save the funeral cost.”

“I’ll give you something to cry about”

“The phone must be off the hook.”

“No long distance calls until after 9pm”

Haven’t seen him in a month of Sundays.

I’ll tan his hide!

Don’t sit there like a bump on a log.

Don’t let the door hit ya, where the Lord split ya!

My Dad’s personal nonsense retort when someone asked what something costs, a dollar 237. Just to confuse them and get them to mind their own beeswax, I guess

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