ULPT Request: How can I disrupt a business that covers for predatory staff?

Posted by Glittering-Wind4654@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 75 comments

NOTE: I have already reported this to police, liquor board, health department, fire authority and consulted with a couple lawyers. The club is members only, requires a signed waiver that is bulletproof and most of their “staff” are untrained volunteers.

Almost a year ago I was assaulted at a lifestyle club (aka swingers), I was later banned because a friend posted a negative google review. Since then many women have reached out to share that they had similar experiences there and were silenced by management. The place is staffed by volunteers (mostly single men) that prey on vulnerable women.

I have already exhausted all of the ethical and legal options available to me so I’m interested to hear some other ideas even if I never act on them. I believe it’ll provide some catharsis to imagine fucking with their business. Thank you.

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NotAFed1991@reddit

If you have a Fetlife, vaguepost about how you still remember how awfully the club treated you (make sure not to name individuals, that's against Fet terms of service). Make it very clear that you'll name names in direct messages. Make it interesting gossip.

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Glittering-Wind4654@reddit (OP)

I have shared all the deets on fet and named names to any one who messaged me.

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MisterSunshine6969@reddit

So...first, I'm extremely sorry that this happened to you, and I absolutely hate that there are men like that in the scene. While I ponder a good, legit answer, can you at least name the city? I have one club in mine that I have in mind as this being possibly the club. (I would have DM'd you if able; if you have a way to privately give me any info, I'd be in your debt).

Off the top of my head-- clubs at least in my area spread word of events and such in forums. Reddit, Telegraph groups, and especially Fet. I'd get in their business online and tell your story. Clubs absolutely need women, and women should both be alerted to this person and the group's tolerance of his crime(s)! Let it be known! Lifestyle clubs absolutely owe women safety!

I'm sorry this isn't even diabolical at all. I will have this on my mind though, I'm disgusted and mad. If I come up with anything more nuclear, I will obviously be right back here with it.

But any info you can give (as to the club, or at least the city), again, I'd really appreciate that.

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Glittering-Wind4654@reddit (OP)

Club Sapphire Tukwila WA

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PleasantProblem5877@reddit

Whats the story?

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Glittering-Wind4654@reddit (OP)

I met up with a man at the club, he was previously known to me and a long time member/volunteer but on this night he had consumed shrooms, weed + who knows how much alcohol before he arrived. He seemed more high energy than usual but I was unaware of his condition. When we were in a private space he physically and sexually assaulted me. I had to fight him off, he left bite marks down both my arms and bruises where he grabbed me. I reported to the club what happened (not while I was there…I was too stunned that night, I went full ‘fawn’) and initially they kicked him out but they allowed him back in after a “cooling off” period.

I opted not to press charges against him because we had dated and I was still under the belief that he was a great guy who’d accidentally gotten too high/drunk that one time. I don’t know of anyone else that he specifically has assaulted but I was made aware that this is a pattern of club management.

I was able to briefly get the club banned from liquor permits (they don’t need a full license since they only serve not sell alcohol to club members) but they were able to reverse that decision.

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Daltzy@reddit

Press charges

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The_Latverian@reddit

I dont think "I went to a sex club, met and had sex with a man I'd previously had sex with. I'd describe him as a "great guy", but after a few days I realized I had been sexually assaulted" is anything an attorney would consider close a slam dunk.

I think if you want actual revenge, it'll need to be outside the legal system.

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cjw7x@reddit

Sounds like a law and order SVU case

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West-Sound405@reddit

Any lawyer worth their salt could work just fine with the context - besides, if there’s details she’s leaving out, there could be hard evidence of what happened somewhere. If OP was swabbed at any point after this, she definitely has an open shut case.

I know this is ULPT, but with ANY kind of assault, all legal means should be encouraged to be exercised first (especially if you don’t have anything helpful to say otherwise lol). Don’t prioritize edginess over real justice, read the room

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RareFeeling7411@reddit

A club like this allowing alcohol is a huge liability and red flag and depending on where you are possibly illegal

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chank88@reddit

Most wingers clubs have alcohol in some form

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RareFeeling7411@reddit

I guess I'm used to bdsm clubs where, at least in the good ones, prohibit alcohol for consent reasons

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Glittering-Wind4654@reddit (OP)

I reported them to the liquor board and they were banned from serving alcohol for a few months. The owner fought it and now they’re allowed again.

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Siavik@reddit

I dont get it. So you want to ruin the clubs business but let the actual criminal be free without even a slap on the wrist? Either press charges or move on.

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durags@reddit

This. Looks like she’s looking to put the blame on someone else - forcing it to be their responsibility instead of hers

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durags@reddit

Why do you feel the need to take it up with the business, when it’s your responsibility to press charges on him.

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Opposite_Fox_1956@reddit

Honestly, if you reported the same day or a day later they’d take you more seriously. They see this as sour grapes, you get banned and now you want to file a complaint. It looks retaliatory. I’m not saying this is exactly why, but I can see what they think happened.

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Ghrrum@reddit

Dude, report them for human trafficking, way more likely to get traction, and far more likely to get some people that can't be ignored involved.

I'd also highly suggest tracking down the churches these folks go to, make up some fliers about the goings on and the abuse, then put them under windshield wipers of the congregation on Sunday. Make damn sure you can prove your claims on the fliers if you go this route, if the go to civil trial and come after you, you'll need to be able to prove your claim.

Churches are great leverage for revenge.

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Pristine_Society_583@reddit

Rumors of rampant STDs would hurt their reputation and keep people away. Don't get caught because they could sue for defamation.

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Living_Associate_611@reddit

“ I went to _____ and all I got was herpes!”

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Realfinney@reddit

Sounds like a place with soft furnishings. Go again, and in quiet moments when you appreciate alone, cut open the seams of the back of the sofas, shove in some wet shrimp, and then sew them back up again.

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ImBigRthenU@reddit

Keeping the spirit of this sub alive I recommend anonymous tips to police about prostitution on premises. If the local PD has a vice department I guarantee the club is already on their radar. Let the police kick up the dust and see what settles.

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Icy_Barracuda3885@reddit

You can be anon?

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EntertainmentBig8636@reddit

Pissdisk the CEO office every morning or evening

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Nearby_Dig_2398@reddit

You say you have a group of friends there. Real friends will stop going on your behalf. Social friends will keep going, even when they believe you and support you. Sounds like you have social friends, and as long as they have a place to go, they will be happy and would love to join you. If another place is not possible, they won't help you shut it down/ruin the place. Be prepared to lose those social friends. They may show their true selves to you, and anyone that wants their hangout to stay even when women are being assaulted there are bad people. Re-read that last sentence. Look at this from our point of view and notice the red flags.

Also, the business didn't screw you over (pun intended), the owner and her cronies did. Ruin her, not the hangout. Starve her of new patrons.

Do not create stickers that say "The owner of hangout gave me HIV. She lies. Please don't go there. ☹️" and definitely don't put them in local bathroom stalls.

Don't use her name, because her friends will come to her defence. Just "the owner" is enough to convince potential members from joining.

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spellboundartisan@reddit

Pay someone to dump concrete mix down their toilet.

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billieteaz@reddit

If they have a phone number you can contact, get some friends together and spam them with calls. Keep their phone ringing constantly for as long as you can keep it up. It won't accomplish much, but it will certainly piss off the manager and waste some of their time. Bonus points for calling during their busiest hours.

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Ch_Machiavelli@reddit

Report them for tax fraud. Police don't care, they probably won't investigate... But tax fraud will. You can tip anonymously in most countries.

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cbelt3@reddit

A “waiver” does not make a club immune to negligence. Blast on social…

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aprendido@reddit

You have it backwards. A waiver can preclude a negligence claim but generally not intentional acts like assault

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cbelt3@reddit

“Gross Negligence” like allowing predators uncontrolled access to customers… liability still applies( generally)..

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Glittering-Wind4654@reddit (OP)

I attempted that, didn’t get much traction...except other victims reaching out to share stories.

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NotOppo@reddit

That social media idea is dumb af, never let them know your next move, or they will have time to prepare a defense. Contact a labor law attorney. You can go to findlaw.com and switch to labor law, and your zip code and all the labor law attorneys in your area will pop up. The waiver will not hold up in court. Also contact other victoms, the more evidence you have the better. If you can record times and dates.

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tetheredvoid@reddit

Collect that information, notarize it, and take it to the authorities. They will have terrible ignoring evidence as it stacks up.

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justpress2forawhile@reddit

Indeed, kind of like if they ever had a reasonable amount of Intel on an international child sex trafficking organization, everyone involved from supporting, partaking, and complacent law enforcement would all be tried and convicted.

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Glittering-Wind4654@reddit (OP)

Unfortunately, no one else has been willing to go public because they’re scared of the backlash.

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zalatair_ztr@reddit

Just start punching mfkers

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Long_Disaster_6847@reddit

Maybe talk to your city council or state representatives? They could nudge the district attorney to look into it if they believe you or if you have other witnesses to back it up

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w0nd3rjunk13@reddit

William Burroughs’ tape recorder method

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Monarc73@reddit

Most waivers don't stand up under scrutiny, or at a jury trial. I would still sue.

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chank88@reddit

She claimed to be sexually assaulted by a guy she had dated at a swingers club. She also did press charges against the guy because she thought he was a great guy that had to much.

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BalognaMacaroni@reddit

This\^ an illegal waiver provision is unenforceable but it typically stands to scare people away from challenging something they’ve signed. Reserve your rights, fuck ‘em

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hankhillsucks@reddit

A lawyer needs to be involved

Who knows what criminals are at the top of this operation, and what they are capable of

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Glittering-Wind4654@reddit (OP)

I already consulted with two, they say nothing can be done

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gunsforevery1@reddit

Sounds like there isn’t a case or proof of wrong doing.

What happened when you tried to go after the person who assaulted you?

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Glittering-Wind4654@reddit (OP)

I chose not to pursue legal action against the individual (perhaps somewhat foolishly) but wanted to hold the club in some way accountable. Or at the very least warn others.

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gunsforevery1@reddit

You want to hold the establishment responsible for a private individual attacking you?

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Glittering-Wind4654@reddit (OP)

I want to hold the establishment responsible for kicking me out because I reported an incident involving a beloved volunteer who is close friends with the owner. I blame the individual who assaulted me AND I’m pissed I was punished…my paid membership was cancelled, I was banned from events I prepaid for, they refused to refund me. A shitty thing happened to me there but I still wanted to hang out with my friends and move past what happened. The owner was only concerned that I’d out her special boy.

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Murtomies@reddit

If there is a provable patter of behaviour where the business protects their volunteers/friends and kicks out/bans any accuser of abuse without investigating at all, then sure there's grounds to sue, possibly even win. But sounds like you're more angry toward the business than the person who attacked you, which is super strange. I think you have it backwards. If you want consequences on the club, then you should definitely want them on the attacker. The club banning you and refusing to refund your prepaid things is secondary.

Also consider this: the club has shown who they are, take that lesson and take your business elsewhere. If you have friends frequenting that club too, I'm sure you can convince them to change to a better club that respects their clients.

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gunsforevery1@reddit

Report them for what? What did they do besides kick you out of the private club? You should have filed a police report. There’s still an opportunity to do so, so do it.

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CMDR_Kantaris@reddit

They want an easy payday

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gunsforevery1@reddit

That’s what I’m getting. The person has no money or assets so they are trying to blame the establishment who probably says you are an adult and anything you do with another adult not their responsibility.

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FuckTripleH@reddit

Well there you go that's how you can disrupt it. File a police report

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hankhillsucks@reddit

Then find one who gives a shit

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BuffaloAgreeable372@reddit

You want to topple the US government?

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Conchobar8@reddit

As a fellow swinger, press charges. The fact that it was a club doesn’t protect him.

Secondly, make sure everyone your play group knows. If you meet others, tell them how bad the club is. From my experience the lifestyle lives on reputation. Talk to the others who came forward and get them to speak up in swinger groups. They can keep it hidden from the vanilla peeps, but make sure the pineapples know.

Kill their reputation, dry up their customer base. Starve them out.

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Glittering-Wind4654@reddit (OP)

Thank you for this. There is a robust whisper network amongst the women thankfully. I just hate that it’s necessary.

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Conchobar8@reddit

I play as a single male. The amount of extra effort needed is atrocious. And even worse is that it’s all necessary!

I hope you have better luck in the future.

Also, check out r/swingers is you haven’t, they’ll have good advice

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SporkPlusOne@reddit

So, to fit the theme of this sub, can you send those prank glitter cards to the club? At this point, let’s just inconvenience them and cause some commercial carpet cleaning company to make some money.

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Glittering-Wind4654@reddit (OP)

Yesss

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DaftPump@reddit

Browsing thru the comments I get the vibe a piece of this story is missing. Two consultations of lawyers both saying nothing can be done. Find more, maybe in another town/city in your state/province.

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Glittering-Wind4654@reddit (OP)

The situation is basically that I felt unable emotionally to press charges against the individual when it happened. I hoped the club would take action or that they had some protocol in place. Turns out their only plan is to force all parties involved to take a cool down period away from the club until they’re over it. The owner was kind and supportive until I revealed that I spoke to another member about the assault, she immediately extended my required cool down period and kept repeating how important confidentiality is at the club. Then I was banned.

So yeah, there’s not enough to take legal action so I’m being petty because the owner was a bitch to me during a vulnerable time. I was a regular and had a group of friends I’d see at karaoke n shit but I wasn’t able to say goodbye or exchange info with them. I’m pissed that I was abruptly kicked out after a shitty thing happened to me.

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DaftPump@reddit

Yup it sucks. This is still a taboo scene to most people so in a way I get their POV but I ultimately get yours. Maybe your demise will force them to clean their house up. Chalk it up and chive on, it's all ya got fo now. :/

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Map-Soft@reddit

It would be a shame if that place randomly burnt down....

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CarpetCaptain@reddit

Local news would love this

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bendecco08@reddit

so you're trying to over throw the gub'ment....

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Glittering-Wind4654@reddit (OP)

Yes 🤫

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EagleBigMac@reddit

So I'm just going to state for no reastother than I love marine safety, marine flares fired from a flare gun burn at over 3500° in the water and it would be dangerous to fire them over a buildings roof.

Also again for no reason other than safety never mix large quantities of Styrofoam with kerosene in a glass bottle it makes napalm is sticky and burns forever.

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Seeks_Fluffy_Tails@reddit

When the law fails you…

On an entirely unrelated note, it’s important to take care with alcohol it is very flammable.

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