Best football chant? | TheaterFire

[-]

asymmetricears@reddit

I love the recent spate of chants on the variation of we're going Tottenham, you're going to York. Including one which was we're going to York, you're going to York between two clubs at the bottom of league one. Someone is going to comment to say they've been doing it in the EFL for years.

Reply

[-]

WeDoingThisAgainRWe@reddit

I’ve found it quite funny hearing the Tottenham away ones spread through league one fans this season.

Reply

[-]

QOTAPOTA@reddit

I liked the one when Liverpool were playing Everton. Both doing quite badly but Liverpool were really under par and quite low in the league. Not that long ago iirc. Everton were singing, ‘Going down, going down, going down. ‘ Liverpool’s reply was, ‘ so are we, so are , so are we!

Reply

[-]

WeDoingThisAgainRWe@reddit

Sorry to ruin the moment but that has been the standard reply to the “going down” chant for a long, long time.

Reply

[-]

LondonSal@reddit

That was Swindon. I know because my partner is a fan and it’s still talked about.

Reply

[-]

Thunderlips060656@reddit

As a Hull fan the 'youre getting mauled by the Tigers, mauled by the Tigers' and everyone does a camp claw motion. 😀

Reply

[-]

escoces@reddit

Who's that coming over Brazil? It's Jimmy Torbett. It's Jimmy Torbett! To the Automatic.

Reply

[-]

First-Lengthiness-16@reddit

That’s a terrible chant. A kid was raped

Reply

[-]

escoces@reddit

The many rapes, cover up, rehiring of the rapist, denial of responsibility, forcing the boys club to change their name many years after the fact, hiring a PR firm to deflect, paying millions to victims outside of court while denying responsibility and forcing them to sign non disclosure agreements are all terrible. A chant is not in the same league.

Reply

[-]

First-Lengthiness-16@reddit

You genuinely think that I was comparing a chant about raping kids to actually raping kids?

Reply

[-]

thirty1twenty1@reddit

You should here the Savile ones

Reply

[-]

buckfast1994@reddit

Most people outside of the Old Firm bubble would probably shudder at some of the tunes from the terraces.

Reply

[-]

TurbulentEffect99@reddit

What's the context to this?

Reply

[-]

escoces@reddit

Jim Torbett came over Alan Brazil at Celtic Boys Club. Since the fellow in the original post wanted to chuckle at a Rangers player's misfortune.

Reply

[-]

Noodlearms98@reddit (OP)

Hahaha this was never my intention

Reply

[-]

1_innocent_bystander@reddit

Alan Brazil. I'll let you Google it.

Reply

[-]

TurbulentEffect99@reddit

Ah, that guy. Yeah, very good chant.

Reply

[-]

On-Mute@reddit

Hibs fans were singing "so fucking ugly, oh you're so fucking ugly" to a Hearts player called Steve Fulton. Fulton turned round and blew the Hibs fans a kiss, which the ref did not take kindly to and he booked Fulton. Hibs fans: "Booked for being ugly, oh you got booked for being ugly..."

Reply

[-]

Mediocre_Profile5576@reddit

Lee Howey played for Sunderland and his brother Steve played for Newcastle. Sunderland fans used to sing “Lee Howey Lee Howey Lee Howey, your brother is a cunt” to the tune of the old insurance tv ad.

Reply

[-]

JeffersonBoi@reddit

"If you tolerate Rix, then your children will be next," to the tune of the classic Manic's song, directed at former player and manager Graham Rix, referencing his 1999 conviction for unlawful sexual intercourse with a 15-year-old girl.

Reply

[-]

Mediocre_Profile5576@reddit

I opened this thread to post this one. Hibs fans sang it to Hearts fans

Reply

[-]

Inevitable-Can-552@reddit

Needs context but when Wimbledon moved their club to Milton Keynes, becoming MK Dons, the original fans created a new club AFC Wimbledon. The new club moved up the leagues and eventually played MK Dons. AFC Wimbledon sang “where were you where you were us” to the MK Dons fans

Reply

[-]

Spiritual_Smell4744@reddit

Plymouth to the Exeter fans: "You dirty northern bastards"

Reply

[-]

bbricktop@reddit

His name is rio and he watches from the stands always tickled me

Reply

[-]

JollyPhysics1394@reddit

The Andy Goram chant is awful because a) it trivialises a really awful mental illness, and b) the idiots singing it don’t know the difference between schizophrenia and multiple personality disorder.

Reply

[-]

carolomnipresence@reddit

Dunno, I'm in two minds.

Reply

[-]

Greggs-the-bakers@reddit

Lighten up mate, its funny

Reply

[-]

JollyPhysics1394@reddit

Maybe it is, I dunno. Funny is subjective, I guess. I just never really found it that amusing. Enjoy the rest of your evening, and have a great weekend!

Reply

[-]

Greggs-the-bakers@reddit

That was surprisingly wholesome lol Hope you have a good one too :)

Reply

[-]

OneUnfair1251@reddit

As a spurs fan and at this game against Liverpool away we were losing 4-0 and singing let’s pretend we score a goal and hey presto spurs scored a goal 🤣 I no plenty of ahem rude ones which today wouldn’t b allowed to sing! Also the sky one I find funny 🎵sky tv is f**king 💩🎵

Reply

[-]

No-Locksmith-882@reddit

He's big, he's round, he can't jump off the ground ~insert large 80's strikers name~

Reply

[-]

farmf00d@reddit

I’ll start with Micky Quinn

Reply

[-]

amyflot@reddit

Im not even a football fan but the funniest one I've heard is (to the tune of This Old Man, in a Somerset accent) I can't read I can't write But that don't really matter 'Cause I'm a Bristol City fan And I can drive a tractor

Reply

[-]

AprilBelle08@reddit

My favourite

Reply

[-]

qdbii@reddit

Northern Ireland chant for David Healy Away in a manger No crib for a bed The little Lord Jesus Laid down His sweet head The stars in the bright sky Looked down where HEALY! HEALY! HEALY!

Reply

[-]

Repulsive_Dig_133@reddit

Was at the Hibs v St Johnstone match where we won 8-1 and Andy Goram scored ! Dont know about best football chant but have seen a few funny ones online. Give us our Willie back!, Give us our Willie back! after an inflatable Willie was taken away by Stewards. and just recently "Better that you, Better than you , that F\*cking pigeon is better than you" and there was a pigeon walking about on the pitch that every one was watching :)

Reply

[-]

Otherwise_Living_158@reddit

Scotland do it best ————- They’re dirty and their smelly They come from near Lochgelly They huvnae got a telly The Cowden family ————— We hate the boys in Royal Blue We hate the boys in hoops of green We are the Partick Thistle boys So fuck the pope and fuck the queen

Reply

[-]

Repulsive_Dig_133@reddit

\>The Cowden family :) thats from deepest Fife. Have actually been to Ballingry.

Reply

[-]

phoebsmon@reddit

It was we want our dick back. It might have also been a Dick Advocaat reference, but you'd have to summon a mackem to tell you that much about it. Between that and the beach ball assist, that lot have a serious thing about inflatables. I pass no further comment.

Reply

[-]

Repulsive_Dig_133@reddit

\>but you'd have to summon a mackem I dont want to summon any makems, seems like a weegie board thing and I dont want to summon them either :)

Reply

[-]

phoebsmon@reddit

It's best not to. I'm sure one will be along, but you don't want to fuck it up and end up with multiple apparitions

Reply

[-]

Typical-Audience3278@reddit

No-one mentioned ‘you’re gonna get your fucking heads kicked in’ either. Very disappointed

Reply

[-]

Larvesta_Harvesta@reddit

Also, 'You're going home in a London ambulance"

Reply

[-]

LimeyRat@reddit

St. John’s ambulance

Reply

[-]

Dense_Imagination984@reddit

This was my first thought tooo. I'm off to utube to unlock that memory. Nice one.

Reply

[-]

joeyjiggle@reddit

When one of the Chuckle brithers died, Leeds play Sheffield a day or so later. "There's only one Chuckle Brother... Etc"

Reply

[-]

TheLoneRanger2025@reddit

One of my favourites from back in the day aimed at Emmanuel Petit…..he’s fast, he’s quick, his names a porno flick Emmanuel

Reply

[-]

Commercial_Reward_78@reddit

When Justin Fashanu came out, we sang “You couldn’t score with your brother” to John Fashanu. All great “harmless” homophobic fun… til Justin hanged himself. Thankfully things have improved since then - but I’m still ashamed that I joined in.

Reply

[-]

Bose82@reddit

He's got a plant pot on his head

Reply

[-]

Cold_Table8497@reddit

I only know the pineapple version.

Reply

[-]

ReySpacefighter@reddit

Gorams. No apostrophe.

Reply

[-]

Jiminyfingers@reddit

It's Sunshine on Leith no competition

Reply

[-]

Regular-Whereas-8053@reddit

That’s not really a chant though. Forest fans sing “City Ground, oh mist rolling in from the sea, my desire is always to be here, at City Ground” to the tune of Mull of Kintyre.

Reply

[-]

Jiminyfingers@reddit

OK will delete but still the greatest football fan song bar none, not a chat though

Reply

[-]

Regular-Whereas-8053@reddit

Won’t disagree with that. Does bring a tear to a glass eye. Friend’s dad was a big Hibs fan, reduces her to a blubbering mess 🥺

Reply

[-]

BocaSeniorsWsM@reddit

He's here, He's there, We're not allowed to swear, Frank Lebeoufffffff....

Reply

[-]

SteveBM1970@reddit

“When the ball hits your head and stuck in Row Z that’s Zamora “ Also, west ham vs Liverpool, in the Di Canio days Liverpool fans singing “you’ve got Di Canio, we’ve got your stereo” - genius

Reply

[-]

Xenozip3371Alpha@reddit

"We're winning away, we're winning awaaaay, how shit must you be, we're winning away"

Reply

[-]

asymmetricears@reddit

To the same tune It's only one nil, it's only oneee niiil, you're nothing special, it's only one nil

Reply

[-]

Internal-Fan-2434@reddit

Geordies at home, watching the Bill was a particular funny one that Boro fans came up with on our European travels a few years ago. It tickled me any way.

Reply

[-]

LegoVRS@reddit

We've had a few decent ones over the years. My favourite were always about the little fella... "Ole ole, ole ole. Juninihohoho" And "Juninho is magic, he wears a magic hat. And when he signed for Boro, he said I fancy that. He could have signed for Inter, or Parma but they're shite. Instead he signed for Boro cos were f***ING dynamite". Our problem seems to be we come up with the best songs about players who leave quickly! (Like latte lath...)

Reply

[-]

LegoVRS@reddit

The Arsenal chant "he's French. he's slick. His name's a porno flick Emmanuel, Emmanuel!" To Emmanuel Petit was always a good one.

Reply

[-]

Jarcooler@reddit

Park Park wherever you may be

Reply

[-]

Shadowmantha69@reddit

I love that one lol

Reply

[-]

Shadowmantha69@reddit

I like the Ji Sung Park one makes me giggle

Reply

[-]

Miserable-March-1398@reddit

England vs Norway: to the tune of go west by pet shop boys English, You’re shit but your birds are fit x4 Norwegians, go home to your ugly wife x4

Reply

[-]

mark1966a@reddit

[English and Swedish ](https://youtube.com/shorts/F_wbz5m4xH4?si=BhQxPz1M2K4-78rO)

Reply

[-]

Miserable-March-1398@reddit

Internet points for you.

Reply

[-]

OK_LK@reddit

Someone did a couple of hours ago https://www.reddit.com/r/AskABrit/s/98PNH6ZgYo

Reply

[-]

Noodlearms98@reddit (OP)

I stand erected

Reply

[-]

modelvillager@reddit

Ha. I commented this exactly in that thread. Got a auto mod warning for hate speech and comment auto removed... It was genius.

Reply

[-]

OK_LK@reddit

Aw, I was about to link to it as I can still see it! https://www.reddit.com/r/AskABrit/s/98PNH6ZgYo

Reply

[-]

neilm1000@reddit

Was that the thread with "he shoots, he scores, he eats labradors" in it?

Reply

[-]

Dense_Imagination984@reddit

It's mad how strict they are but by US standards. Lost in translation.

Reply

[-]

SocieteRoyale@reddit

Millwall Millwall, you're all really dreadful and your girlfriends are unfulfilled and alienated

Reply

[-]

Scrot123@reddit

Don't follow football but my favourite is England Vs Italy in the last world cup: _"you can shove your twirly pasta up your arse, you can shove your twirly pasta up your arse, you can shove your twirly pasta, shove your twirly pasta, you can shove your twirly pasta up your arse"_

Reply

[-]

Thatchers-Gold@reddit

>Shit Tesco sandwich, you’re just a shit Tesco sandwich Aimed at Elliot Justham >When the ball hits your head and you’re sat in row zed, that’s Zamora To Bobby Zamora

Reply

[-]

phoebsmon@reddit

His name is a shop, his name is a shop, Lenell John Lewis, his name is a shop Just because why the fuck not

Reply

[-]

hscbaj@reddit

For Iain Dowie. “There’s only one E in Dowie, one E in Dowie”

Reply

[-]

happymisery@reddit

I made reference to it https://www.reddit.com/r/AskABrit/s/gl1J1dd9ez

Reply

[-]

dodgycool_1973@reddit

Wayne Rooney - “He’s just a fat granny shagger, fat granny shagger….he’s just a fat granny shagger” After he got caught with a “mature” prostitute :)

Reply

[-]

UntappdBeer@reddit

Park Ji-sung the Korean footballer had this one: Park, Park, Wherever you may be, You eat dogs in your country, It could be worse, You could be Scouse, Eating rats in your council house!

Reply

[-]

sparky_tupp@reddit

I went to see Wrexham play away at Gillingham about 20 years ago, and the Welsh crowd started singing 'We love shagging sheep'! That one tickled me 🤣

Reply

[-]

Regular-Whereas-8053@reddit

It was very much the thing for away fans to sing to Aberdeen fans “sheep shagging bastards, you’re all sheep shagging bastards”. Aberdeen fans took it and ran with it, and now sing “we’re all sheep shagging bastards”. During the 2014 league cup final, the chant became “sheep! Sheep! Sheep are on fire!”

Reply

[-]

Dennyisthepisslord@reddit

Nothing takes the humour out of a funny chant like typing it out. It's like explaining funny joke to someone who didn't get it.

Reply

[-]

Wiccamanplays@reddit

I can’t recall the clubs but I remember after one of the club’s young fans(?) died in an electrical accident, the opposing team’s side chanted ‘It’s my attic and I’ll fry if I want to’ to ‘It’s My Party (And I’ll Cry If I Want To)’ by Leslie Gore.

Reply

[-]

jaggy_bunnet@reddit

"Maw, maw, fuck yer maw, Fuck yer Maurice Johnson" was funny the first time.

Reply

[-]

qualityvote2@reddit

Hello u/Noodlearms98! Welcome to r/AskABrit! --- For other users, does this post fit the subreddit? If so, **upvote this comment!** Otherwise, **downvote this comment!** And if it does break the rules, **downvote this comment and report this post!**

Reply

Reply to Post

88 Comments