I(29F)am torn between staying in Canada with partner(29M) or returning home

Posted by DisastrousBus4210@reddit | expats | View on Reddit | 5 comments

Hi, I’m 29F and have been in a relationship with my boyfriend (29M) for about 3 years. We’ve been living together and have a stable, healthy relationship with no major issues.

Recently, I’ve been struggling with a big life decision. We are close to getting PR in Canada, but I’ve been feeling increasingly homesick and unsure about building my long-term life here. I also feel behind in my career and worry it will take a few more years to get settled.

On the other hand, my boyfriend has a stable life and career here and plans to stay in Canada long-term. He’s very supportive, but he doesn’t see himself moving back to my home country.

So I feel stuck between two options:
\-Stay in Canada with him and build a life here
\-Return to my home country for a sense of belonging and career reset

Both choices feel like I’m giving something important up.
Has anyone faced a similar situation? How did you decide?

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expats-ModTeam@reddit

While your situation may be influenced by the fact that you're an expat, your question is better suited to subreddits like /r/relationship_advice.

mrm112@reddit

Have you discussed with your partner? My wife was kind enough to move to my country but we eventually plan to move to hers for several years before planning to settle somewhere in the middle. It's possible you and your partner may be able to come up with a plan together that works for both of you.

froglilies@reddit

Im literally going through the same thing. I live with my long term boyfriend of 3 years and im going crazy thinking about this. I am not happy living in this country anymore and wish to eventually return to my home country, but he seems to want to live here until the end of his life...

I do not have any advice for you since I know how difficult this is. The only thing I can say is there is a chance you will build resentment if you stay with him. I wish you all the best

picklelemonades@reddit

I'm going thru this rn. Go home or stay with my husband.. feels like I'm going crazy..

biochiara@reddit

This is a big question, but I need you to be more specific. Is your boyfriend Canadian or do you share the same nationality? Then, are you home sick because of your origin family or for other reasons? What were the initial reasons for which you left your home country and, most of all, are they still valid? Would you have a future if you go back, in terms of evolving your career, or you would have to start from scratch?

However, the greatest advice I've seen from someone here on reddit for existential crisis like this one, is: go back to your home country for a couple of months and see if the reasons of why you left are still there!