ULPT Request: How can I expose a lazy coworker?

Posted by Novel-Sprinkles3333@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 26 comments

I have a perfect job, full time WFH. The bane of my existence is the person who is the database admin. Customer facing documents go out with misspelled words and are not corrected. Internal software has errors and repetition in the database that may make records less searchable. In my role, I have to wade through the bad migration language all day every day to do my job.

So, how can the Bane get a well deserved comeuppance? Yes, .my supervisors know. They are either in too many meetings have some other excuses.

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Impossible-Ground-98@reddit

send a piss disc over Https, just be sure not to be on company vpn

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Zailema0s@reddit

What’s a piss disc? Is it an actual disc shaped piece of frozen urine? 🤢

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DuckyDoodleDandy@reddit

Yes

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ayecheesey@reddit

😄

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monkey_zen@reddit

Yes

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Key-Candle8141@reddit

Or fax them a juicy turd

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Pleasant-Minute6066@reddit

Hmm. Not sure what to do if the higher ups already know...

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Novel-Sprinkles3333@reddit (OP)

Yep, that is true.

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whitewolfdogwalker@reddit

Take a 2 or 3 week vacation and things will happen.

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Chewiesbro@reddit

I’d bet on seven day being enough.

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Popular-Departure165@reddit

In my experience, DBAs were only responsibly for the proper functioning of the database, and not the content that goes into it. Who is creating these documents?

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CatTaxAuditor@reddit

Yeah, a DBA wouldn't be writing internal software either...

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3drabbitx@reddit

Not really unethical but create a spreadsheet and quantify the errors. Turn those numbers into estimate of the effects on brand reputation, sales, customer experience. Put it in a report. Anonymously send to mgmt. Mgmt speaks in numbers and definitives. Anecdotally saying “co-worker is lazy” will usually yield a “but they’re good at y and z so x is forgivable”. But when you quantify it, and sales or complaints happen, and they can point to lazy co-worker as a cause? Changes will happen.

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Embarrassed_Key_4539@reddit

Who gives a shit, focus on yourself

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StrikeSea7638@reddit

Get the clients to complain about the errors

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lskerlkse@reddit

change your work signature to

Somebody doesn't know how to do their job, and it ain't me

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Bratchan@reddit

Go over the supervisors heads. Get into the database and print out some of the databases and just highlight issues. Make it VERY simple and explain that this is ruining the experience for the CUSTOMER. That we can start losing clients if this keeps up. Also say that you are doing two jobs right now cause you have to do his job right now as well cause you have to fix all the database BS.

If your company is trying to do the AI stuff.. Its time.. download the database locally and get AI to explain how things are wrong. Be like you wanted to do an iniative to fix things since X isn't doing it. Using AI tools to help out with it. Have AI give you a full documents about what is wrong with the database.

Ethical: Find a better job that pays more. Refuse to train anyone for your role when you leave.

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Novel-Sprinkles3333@reddit (OP)

This is not AI, this is an actual person who may or may not know the difference between homophones and who is apparently so whiny and fragile that people walk on eggshells.

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PhunkeyMonkey@reddit

I think they meant you should use AI as in: - are your company positively biased towards AI ? - Then !LOCALLY! use an LLM(AI) to summarize all the flaws and errors LazyCoworker are making

And do it locally for the love of all the gods!

Nobody wants to see a news story of someone dumping a prod DB and proceeds to upload it to some random cloud AI service for winning an argument.. or well we do, but you dont wanna be that guy

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ouncez@reddit

Get the customers to complain.

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WhippedHoney@reddit

Here's the real pro tip: the DBA doesn't care, management doesn't care, it seems only you care. So stop caring. A lot. Maybe care so little you can find a way to make the data quality worse. Homophones? Pfft, let's talk capitalization, apostrophes, compounding phrases, screw ASCII, go full unicode madness. Then see if anyone still doesn't care.

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