Have I become institutionalised to more ‘working class’ surroundings?

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AromaticVacation3077@reddit

'Institutionalised to working class surroundings' is a wild reframe of 'riddled with class prejudice'.

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I don’t think people understand that class prejudice totally swings both ways. I know systemic inequality hits the working class hardest but on an interpersonal level people can be fucking horrible to anyone they think has it better than them and working class people do judge anyone who they perceive as middle class

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Brizzledude65@reddit

Yep. I’m usually perceived as ‘posh’ due to my name and how I speak (solid middle class background tbf). I’ve often drunk in pretty rough pubs and had people get lairy with me because of the perceived poshness. I used to try and downplay it, now I just say “yeah, I’m posh as fuck” which tends to be far better received.

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morriganscorvids@reddit

i feel the same and i grew up middle class, theyre such a bunch of phonies.
ultimately it's about the individual though, but it's true i cannot live in a middle class neighbourhood too fake

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Jip_Jaap_Stam@reddit

My area is becoming increasingly popular with middle class people from down south. Can't even go to Lidl now without hearing posh fuckers with kids called Tarquin and Delilah wondering how much asparagus they need to buy.

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Fit-Mistake-4390@reddit

I work a close to minimum wage job in a call centre as customer support for a relatively “premium” company. The majority of our customers are very upper middle class or quite well off. I totally feel you.

People are so entitled and have such overwhelming egos. Constantly threatening to leave bad reviews or tell people to never shop with us, as if this will have any real impact on the company. We are a large retailer and of course any negative word of mouth is bad, but I’d be lying if I said I was paid enough to care.

I can really tell any issues these people have are seen as catastrophic even if it’s the most mundane problem, like a delay with their delivery. Being screamed at because the deliver drivers are running 2 hours behind and “their poor dog hasn’t been walked all morning” is quite something.

I don’t have much empathy for these people, they feel the need to create problems because in reality their life lacks any real conflict in my opinion

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hollowcrown51@reddit

Constantly threatening to leave bad reviews or tell people to never shop with us, as if this will have any real impact on the company. We are a large retailer and of course any negative word of mouth is bad, but I’d be lying if I said I was paid enough to care.

I mean what other power do they have when they're in a dispute with a large retrailer? They probably know you don't personally care but might have the option to escalate to a manager or something. There's really no other thing that people can do other than a charge back.

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GooseMan1515@reddit

People are people. Sometimes you'll find that the 'nice' areas in otherwise difficult areas attract a set who 'successfully' internalised the grind into treating everyone around them as suckers to exploit. Gated communities are nothing new.

Other times the 'nice' areas are just more separated from post industrial working class poverty by distance and history so people tend to be more trusting.

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_Happy_Camper@reddit

Get rid of that chip on your shoulder mate

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Ok_Chipmunk_7066@reddit

The main benefit of boring middle class suburbia is you can mentally check out. Ignore the Whites next door and thier 3rd new white Audi of the year.

I'd rather a snooty two faced melt, than someone who might actually lob a brick through my window for looking at them wrong. I don't lock my doors, my kids are safe playing out, they come home before the street lights.

Back where they used to love with thier mum they couldn't go out and play.

Like, I get you, I hate middleclass wankness, but I'd take it over the alternatives I've lived.

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spidertattootim@reddit

The main benefit of boring middle class suburbia is you can mentally check out.

We moved to a middle class estate a few years ago, occasionally we forget to shut the back door when we go out to walk the dog in the evening, it always gives us a little glow when we realise and nothing bad has happened.

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AdSlow973@reddit

One of my neighbours is a proper snooty two faced cow and one of them is a proper rough prick who spends most of his time ruining the local area for everyone else, think I know who I’d choose to keep next door…

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BathFullOfDucks@reddit

Nah its live in a village populated almost exclusively by middle class imports from London. The conversations they have are either about money (how much they have) their neighbours (all of them, not you tho.) And entitlement (for example, stepping out in front of my car to declare their house is an unofficial 10mph school zone because of their baby yoga class, I wish I was joking)

They argue all the time about anything, accuse each other of all sorts and when something genuinely important in the community comes up, are nowhere to be found.

This is in contrast to the normal rural folks, who while a tough group to get to know will help you with anything and walk around with a smile on their face and no ill word about anyone.

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whataboutbenson@reddit

I get you. I'm sort of the opposite; I grew up in an area that became affluent through my childhood and never really felt I fit in. I live in a more "normal" (upper working class/lower middle class) area now and work blue collar and realised that I could also never just get on with upper middle class people. Not really through any fault of theirs or mine, just not compatible. There's a sort of permanent tension in a middle class person. They're scared of strangers, especially straight men, and don't want to interact with their neighbours unless they're also middle class. If you have a regional accent, they like to make fun of it despite it being the default accent of where you live. They drive oversized cars so that, if they get into an accident, they won't be the one to get hurt. Despite that if two of those cars collide the cumulative damage will be far worse. They decide whether to associate with you or not based on what your job is. If they have a problem with you, they will never, ever say it out loud to your face, thus making it impossible to resolve it. Just my experience. Working class people don't really give a shit; they just want to have a laugh and enjoy the moment. It's much more refreshing, even if it can be hard to have a slightly more intellectual conversation sometimes and you sometimes have to put up with antisocial behaviour.

Really though I think it's just an unconscious bias we have OP. Those people aren't doing anything wrong; they're well meaning and well behaved. Pay their taxes. Keep the area clean. You just have to kind of tune it out when they start talking about their Japan holiday or whatever.

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Safe_Grass3366@reddit

ITT: Middle class Redditors aghast that for once there's a post criticising middle class culture amongst the sea of nasty, hateful snobbery usually found on this sub.

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chief_bustice@reddit

It sounds like you just have a massive chip on your shoulder.

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ImpressiveBell3424@reddit

Sounds like you just have a massive chip on your shoulder.

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spidertattootim@reddit

100% this is the situation.

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farr2211@reddit

Definitely comes across as though they think they are better than their neighbours and judge them

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Itchy-Book402@reddit

And stabbing them behind their back with their polarised opinion about the neightbours. Let me talk to them when I see them!

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Fit-Obligation4962@reddit

I’m working class but what I love about middle class areas is that people look after their gardens and the surrounding environment.
Many poorer areas have filthy unkempt gardens and rubbish strewn around the streets. Not all obviously and you have lovely gardens next to shit heaps.
It’s easy to blame the council but people should keep their gardens and surrounding the best they can. It’s locals that are making the mess.

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LifeNavigator@reddit

A lot of working class people just don't have the energy, time and money (resources) to tend their garden. Gardening costs money.

However, the littering definitely does need to be talked as tjis starts at home.

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Fit-Obligation4962@reddit

Yes I understand it costs but cut lawns and just kept tidy cost little.Doesnt have to be fancy just tidy.

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spidertattootim@reddit

I'm far happier living near people being fake than people who are genuine but dangerous.

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warmans@reddit

Sorry but can I ask do you tell these people that you think they're full of shit and that you hate them?

Because if you act friendly and then go and slag them off on reddit, how exactly are you any different from these "fake" people?

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escapingfromelba@reddit

Honestly your post sounds more fake than the imaginary people you invented. I cannot think of anyone from a working class area who'll post that notion of "street rules".

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QSBW97@reddit

I lived on council estates most my life. I've never once called something "Street rules" if someone was coming to a house party with me, I'd just say don't be a twat, but that goes for everything in life, not just when you're on a council estate.

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escapingfromelba@reddit

It reads like someone who learned English off gaming or YouTube insults. It's a fabrication.

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Any_Crazy_500@reddit

The fact that they put ‘No Kid here want for anything’ and then goes on to call same said kids ‘Spoilt bratty kids’ in the same post is very telling.

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escapingfromelba@reddit

Reads like an overseas poster frankly.

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JeanDeBrissacLaMotte@reddit

Agreed. It reads like a 15 year old trying to sound hard.

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Few_Respect_5469@reddit

Thought the same, wonder which side of it is real. Council geezer turned nimby the musical.

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LitmusVest@reddit

I grew up on a shit estate. Friends banged up and dead while we were still kids. Really fucking grim.

I live on the other side of the same town now, where it's nice and leafy. I've had to check myself occasionally, like when one of my kids said that one of the two types of apple juice in the fridge wasn't 'the right one'.

I had some great times as a kid, but it isn't the laughs that are the headlines. And I wouldn't want any kid, never mind my own, to experience growing up where I did.

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JeanDeBrissacLaMotte@reddit

I also grew up in a "working class" community, and this kind of language - fake, backstabbing, snob - is usually used by people who are encountering reasonable reactions to their own behaviour. "Fk about you'll get slapped" would suggest that's the case here.

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Sea_Appearance6837@reddit

This sounds far more out of touch than middle class people are made out to be. Sounds like it was written by someone who is the cause of most of the drama in a working class neighbourhood

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PartyPoison98@reddit

Honestly I get you entirely, both on a class thing and a regional thing.

I'm from a midlands village originally, but now work in corporate job in Central London and I find the socialising fucking exhausting and aggravating just from the weird fakeness and the way people present themselves.

I was worried my own mental health was just making me cynical, but when I've spent time elsewhere in the country and in less affluent bits I've felt far more comfortable with the people around me.

At the core of it for me, a big part is materialism/consumerism. In these "nicer" areas theres always a keeping up with the joneses, a trend to chase, some social hierarchy game to play etc and I just couldn't be bothered.

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Visible_Pressure_404@reddit

As always, there’s good and bad in both. Working class people can be down to earth and not snobby, but then there are chavs, roadmen, and shitty yokel type families who are horrible neighbours, violent and destructive and poor parents to the sprogs they keep dropping. Despite what people like Owen Jones and others on the left would have you believe, these people aren’t entirely blameless for the situations they find themselves and they do not represent all of the working classes, many of whom do have high standards of conduct and behaviour and have lives blighted by the chavs.

But then, with middle class people, you get more peace and quiet and acceptance of learning and freedom and being progressive, but also snobbery, constant status games and strutting, money going to money and the social gaps getting ever wider as the generations go on. They have head starts that poor people don’t get and then claim it’s all their hard work etc.

People are people. Take each person as they come and that cuts across all demographics of class, race, gender and lifestyle choices. The brain likes to categorise and generalise for efficiency, but that can be destructive when trying to relate to people.

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Born_Price6063@reddit

I live in an area where they house refugees and I must live in in an alternate reality because they’re all cool as fuck and we get on great, from the Roma gypsys, to Palestinians, to Somalian’s p, Indians, pakistanis.

the biggest issue in my area are all the enlgish lot moving up from brighton to study. as a glaswegian I can’t stand these hipster English tosspots.

im on engineer salary, in the top 8% of earners in UK, I much prefer living in cheap working class areas than the west end posh part of town even though I have the option.

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Iamtir3dtoday@reddit

Haha we probably live in the exact same area

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Born_Price6063@reddit

glesga?

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BikeProblemGuy@reddit

There's more than one type of 'fancy' area. Look around and you'll find places that are safe and enjoyable without being full of pretentious twits.

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Friendly_Yak_2713@reddit

Yeh specifically I've noticed big differences between well off communities that are beside or among more varied communities compared to those that try to segregate themselves (the mcmansion new build estates are the worst of the worst)

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Away-Ad4393@reddit

I lived in an area for quite a while which then became gentrified and I hated it,anyone looking at my background would say I’m middle class but now I’ve moved to a more working class area I am happier and the people around me have a wider range of interests than the ones worrying about materialism.

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BikeProblemGuy@reddit

Having moved around a lot, I don't think one's neighbours' class or wealth is super important (as long as the council has enough money to keep everything running). What makes the difference is established community - public spaces, events, playgrounds, allotments etc. which bring people together. If people are isolated and drive everywhere, keeping in their social silos, it becomes a less friendly place.

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Individual-Rope-3769@reddit

I know exactly what you mean. I try and remind myself that you get dickheads in every social 'strata', and I'd much rather be where I am now, than where I was raised.

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NrthnLd75@reddit

Dicks at all levels. Saw an interesting theory that city traders/wheeler dealers are exactly the same mentality and skillset as urban drug dealers/criminals, just born into a different strata with different opportunities to flex.

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deiprep@reddit

Tend to be the one who also advocate for men’s metal health, yet bully other guys and call it “banter”

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JennyW93@reddit

My parents moved from a working class background to middle class and were comfortable by the time I showed up.

I had a good childhood. I certainly wanted for things, like any child/teen, but I didn’t *need* for anything. My parents were quite good at indulging things that would be beneficial for me (music lessons) and saying no to things that were unnecessary luxuries (tv in the bedroom, games consoles). I didn’t get rewards for good grades or behaviour, it was just expected of me.

I think they really worried that because I didn’t have the struggle they had growing up that I would become lazy and entitled. And as much as it wound me up as a child/teen knowing full well they could easily indulge my whims, I’m so grateful as an adult that they didn’t. I’m glad they made me work if I wanted pocket money, and I’m glad they didn’t reward behaviours that should be expected (and punished appropriately when I was a shit).

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Individual-Rope-3769@reddit

Yeah I think that sort of stuff will come through me, keeping a lid on things. I've seen plenty of people fall off a cliff (not literally) who had anything and everything growing up, mostly who I knew through sports teams and the in-laws etc.

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AmsterdamWestside11@reddit

The more people have, the more they try to protect it even if it's not under threat.

I grew up middle class in a very affluent area, very safe, very nice. The amount of hypocrisy, passive aggressive behaviour and general snake like behaviour that permeates through that part of society is just draining if you get involved in it too much.

I've chosen to become a tradesman and I enjoy the company of working class people far more. There is honesty, a lot more integrity in my new environment. People still value each other and speak more honestly and openly about life.

My boss is the perfect balance, he's a very wealthy man but has some real community values. It's a choice at the end of the day, some people are just stuck in the ways their parents taught them.

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Feisty-Lifeguard-550@reddit

Better sense of humour too

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EmFan1999@reddit

I am from a working class background and now work with middle class people and am involved with various community stuff with them (because working class people don’t seem to do community stuff?)

The politeness and small talk is a lot to take for me - it comes across as insincere. I prefer directness and authenticity because it’s easier to know where you stand

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deiprep@reddit

I’m very glad I don’t have you as a neighbour you sound like a right pain to deal with if any minor inconvenience arose.

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Soft-Reflection6859@reddit

I've moved to half-decent new build estate. I feel like a leper. No one says hello, everyone gets out of their car with their head down and scuttle into the house before anyone can even look at them. They're all miserable. My theory is that everyone is drowning in debt trying to maintain their 3 cars and children's private ballet lessons.

On the street I grew up on if you didn't treat people around you with manners some cunt would chuck a brick through your window.

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AussieManc@reddit

This isn’t a rich people thing, it’s an arsehole thing. Seek out the people you want to be with. I haven’t had this experience.

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windlep7@reddit

I’ve had a similar experience. I grew up in a modest home with relatively down to earth parents. I struggled with people from middle class backgrounds at school and in the workplace. I went from working in Tesco to working for a competitive IT company and always felt like the workers at tesco were much more pleasant to be around. The middle class people at my IT job were much more judgemental and, in some cases, cruel. Thankfully, I left that job and I’m now working in a different IT environment where the people are much more down to earth.

I suspect the comments you’re getting from people who don’t know what you’re talking about and/or blaming you, are the same kinds of middle class you’re referring to. Intelligent but no self-awareness.

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flipflopcuntflaps@reddit

The grass is always grass on the other side.

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D31-M0RT1@reddit

Nah man, I totally get you!

I live in a small/medium town in Oxfordshire, it’s safe enough, but my god what a load of fake arseholes.

5 years of it and I’ve had enough, moving down Brighton ways, it may be touted as “semi dangerous” by the bumpkins around here due to crime etc, but what City isn’t even a little like that? It just means it’s alive!

Breathing sea air and feeling alive again surrounded by people with knowledge and culture, rather than spoilt, disrespectful, disgusting kids and rude, racist, fake adults any day of the week!

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Any_Crazy_500@reddit

You realise that you put ‘no kid here wants for anything’ then went onto call the same kids ‘spoilt bratty kids’ right? Are they spoilt or not?

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Agile-Reply-9723@reddit

That’s how corporate life is, much better your kids learn how to deal with the lots early on

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Virtuous-Patience@reddit

Why do you think the niceness is fake? Overplayed perhaps but fake? May say more about you than your neighbours….

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Fun-Yam2210@reddit

I hate these bastards. They’re shallow, two-faced and transactional: they will assess you to determine what they can get from you and only deal with you if they think it’s in their interests, somehow. They have more than enough but give nothing unless they’ll get something in return.

I went from an environment where a near stranger would give the shirt off his back because he understands what it means to be shirtless. Rich people are nasty.

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sqkz69oioi@reddit

I sense some inverted snobbery here not gonna lie

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Admirable-Mall-9601@reddit

Can I recommend watching the Danny Dyer film, Marching Powder?

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MountainMuffin1980@reddit

You sound like a massive knob head.

Yes I'd rather live next to a snob who looks after their home/street than a shithole covered in rubbish, old mattresses and where a disagreement with the neighbour can lead to dog shit being chucked at your door or a brick thorough your window. Also, how do you k ow everyone there are fakes and backstabbers? Absolutely mental thing claim

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Imaginary_Finger7844@reddit

I don't think it matters where you live. You'll just find fault and make shit up because you're doing ok, are bored, and wanting to sing along with the common people.

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SowwieWhopper@reddit

I grew up poor as fuck, now live in a nice area. Wouldn’t want my kids growing up the same way I did. Sounds like the “price you’re paying” is just a reason for you to complain about nothing

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WordsUnthought@reddit

There's a lot of middle class defensiveness in the comments here lmao.

It's well documented that as financial comfort and wealth increase, community-mindedness and tolerance decrease. Obviously that's a broad trend rather than something that will apply in every individual case but it's going to show over a neighbourhood.

You're not wrong, OP - there are obvious benefits to living in a more affluent area but there are downsides too, and you've recognised one of them.

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Fit-Jellyfish1675@reddit

Maybe it's just me but I'd rather have a load of henrys talking about me behind my back than someone taking out their anger on my face with their fists because that's how they've learnt to handle disputes.

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sawn-off-snotgun@reddit

I live in a ‘middle class’ area that is largely populated by working class people who’ve done alright for themselves. I’d say I’m one of them. A lot of tradesmen who’ve got a successful company or been promoted through the ranks in their careers etc. not exclusively obviously but for the large part it’s 3-4 beds in the suburbs with a van on the driveway.

Sounds like the sort of area you’re looking for.

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pgnlzbth@reddit

I get it. The town I live in is very ‘nice’ and desirable but increasingly it is filled with vacuous materialism and it drives me nuts. I’m not saying I’d rather be in a poorer area, but Id definitely rather be in a more grounded area where material ‘wealth’ (showiness) is less highly valued.

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Mutant-Bambi@reddit

I went through this exact thing a couple of years ago when I had a job that paid ridiculous money. I grew up working class so when I moved to an area known for being safe and affluent, it was actually a massive culture shock.

I was very conscious of how wealth changes people, and I did notice the way they spoke could come off as entitled. I thought that it was because when you are super comfortable financially, you get used to floating from one service person to the next and being around people who can’t actually be real with you and tell you “hey, that was lowkey a fucked up thing you said there” because they risk losing business. If left unchecked and unreflected upon, you can see how it would make someone obnoxious to be around.

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TraditionalScheme337@reddit

I would far rather raise our child in a place where they arent likely to get assaulted or mugged or worse, start doing that stuff themselves.

Also, I know that some people in the nicer areas will seem very different from the more rough areas but they arent all fake. They just have different priorities from people in those places and likely a different way of looking at things.

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romeo__golf@reddit

What makes you think they're being fake? Have you heard them say unkind things about you behind your back?

Realistically, being nice to people's faces even if you don't like them is just generally good manners and this is going to be a snobby comment, but that's something I've always felt some working class people don't seem to grasp. Often that inability to put their feelings aside and be nice is what holds them back from growing the "social capital" that it often takes to get forward in life and get better jobs etc.

I'd much rather someone I barely know smiled at me and was polite even if they hated me rather than have them shout slurs at me every time I left the house.

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Organic-Violinist223@reddit

Yep! I’ve loved about a bit and fortunate to live in a nice town, and rich privilege is everywhere! Me and my partner are from poor families and learning to navigate this other world!

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icabod88@reddit

I may sound crazy to some of you, but I think I actually prefer seeing real dickheads than fake nice people

I don't mind seeing "real" dickheads, but I'm even happier not to live next to them

I grew up in a not great area of South London. The dickheads will steal, litter, blast loud music and drive their shitty cars around at night. I can live without that.

Well-to-do areas have curtain twitchers, snobs and a bit of entitlement, but I know where I'd prefer to live

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ItalianChef22@reddit

I know what you mean. I've lived in wealthier areas, but the "niceness" of the people there was entirely artificial. I much prefer living somewhere normal around normal people, rather than in the sanitised suburbs where people seem to be relentlessly obsessed with status.

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oh_f-f-s@reddit

I know exactly what your mean but it's hard to articulate.

On the one hand, less affluent areas are more dangerous, but respect gets you a long way. People are authentic and straight up, so you know where you stand with them a lot of the time. I grew up around some of those people.

I now work with some very posh people (a couple went to Eton) but the superficial pleasantries do my head in. They're really disingenuous and it's hard to trust them.

Not sure which one I prefer tbh

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Jimny977@reddit

If it was a few I would get it, there are definitely some very fake posh twats about. The way you’ve described it sounds more like you’ve invented a caricature esque version of a load of people in your head, and are perceiving nothings as major issues though.

I doubt most of these people are actually fake or arseholes, I think that’s mostly you projecting what you’ve made up in your head. This is all obviously best guess based on what you wrote, so I could be wrong.

I think you feel out of place where you are and your brain is looking for reasons why that’s really everyone else’s fault.

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OrignalSauce@reddit

This sounds like a you thing or got unlucky, you can get this in any area with any group, I've never experienced much difference between groups at different classes you get dick heads and nice people everywhere.

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Zelengro@reddit

Give them a chance. I do know what you mean, coming to the middle class from another background can be a frustrating experience. There’s a lot more ‘smile through it’, and a lot more head-sand burying for the sake of keeping a steady boat. But I’ve found there’s a broad range in this mentality, and a lot of genuine solid people.

There is also a beauty in not having to express an opinion on everything, take any sides, and those moments where you think, ‘Shit I’d really rather not get involved in this, but I feel a bit like I’d be hedge-arsing if I don’t.’ Middle class? Perfect. Smile and make a polite excuse, you’re out the door and the whole company thinks you ‘handled that very well’. Thing of beauty lol.

If it’s any help, the truly snobby wankers are probably newly middle class themselves. It almost always proves out to be that way.

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Ok-Direction-8257@reddit

Can you give some examples of being "entitled and tone deaf"? Has any of the backstabbing and fakeness happened to you or your wife?

Because from what you've written here, it seems like you have a bit of a chip on your shoulder. Dare I say it, reverse snobbery.

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fergie@reddit

> Everyone here is so entitled and tone deaf.

Saying this gently: maybe the problem is you?

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mattcannon2@reddit

You don't like fake smiles and backstabbing - but you are doing those behaviours yourself?

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Famous-Yoghurt9409@reddit

I do find the sense of community lacking in upper middle class areas. Imo it's to do with the movement of people. Working class areas are more static so people get to know each other over generations (though less so in cities).

I feel big city commuters have a part to play in eroding the sense of community in their respective suburban/rural retreats.

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Kaiisim@reddit

You've changed surroundings at the same time there has been a worldwide cultural change.

Basically shitheads can do what they want and are encouraged now.

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Choice-Demand-3884@reddit

This sounds a lot like when my previously rough-as-guts East London neighbourhood started to gentrify. Facebook dullards wittering on about "middle class hipsters" and "keeping it real".

Honestly, piss off with that. It wasn't "middle class hipsters" that I worried about when walking back from the bus stop at 2am, and it wasn't "middle class hipsters" who turned their front yards into middens, and it wasn't "middle class hipsters" dealing crack from an abandoned car.

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Min_sora@reddit

Oh cool, another post for people to trash the skanky, violent working-class in. Thanks for that.

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AdRealistic4984@reddit

We’re actually trashing the repressed, perverse middle class right now

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Clear-Student-9607@reddit

I think there's a sweet spot somewhere between the two extremes, and it honestly sounds like you're struggling with the lack of authenticity more than the safety. The comment about universal human qualities is spot on—shitty people exist everywhere, they just wear different masks depending on the postcode. There's something deeply unsettling about a community where everyone's pleasant to your face but you can't shake the feeling you're being silently judged or discussed the second you turn around. You're not crazy for missing the straightforwardness of a place where you knew exactly where you stood with people, even if it came with a rougher edge.

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RaidersGuy85@reddit

I get you. Maybe it's just the situations/activities and people you've been around though. I grew up on the outskirts of a council estate, now I live in commuter belt Surrey.

My eldest decided he wanted to play hockey and all the parents there seem to be the same blah people who live hockey and wear the same stuff. Not a fan at all.

My middle child does karate in the same area and everyone there is great to chat to and so 'normal'. One of the sensei's looks like he'd be a typical management dickhead, but even he is really approachable and down to earth.

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unbelievablydull82@reddit

Middle class parents can be worse than working class. The area my parents live has become more and more gentrified by the week, leaving the working class people less space. The parents allow their kids to talk to shop and cafe staff like dirt. Just entitled, spoilt, arrogant behaviour. It's a rough area, but we were taught not to be rude to people who are just doing a job, as we'd be in the same position when we grow up. I've been out in the area walking my parents dog with my sister, and the look of disdain on middle class people walking through the estate, even when my sister says hi to them and is being polite, is disgraceful. Supposedly liberal middle class people treating those with less like dirt in an area like that is going to end up messy

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BelledeJour71@reddit

I have lived in a town like this. Despised it. It was all about what your husband earned and how big your house was. Shallow. The friendships I made, I discovered were superficial. I will always remember how happy I felt when we moved back to my home county (UK). I grew up in a working class village and had a very happy childhood with people who helped one another out, a community. Everyone is too busy chasing money and being self-centered in these posh towns to understand what community is. I found it unsatisfying and I understand how you feel.

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SeaIntelligent4504@reddit

It's reasonable to feel alien in an environment where people act differently. It's snobby to think you are better than them.

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Andries89@reddit

Can you expand on what you mean with fake nice people? As you may just be misinterpreting their civic friendliness for something else

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zephyrmox@reddit

How much do you actually interact with these people?

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Mediocre-Spell-6090@reddit

You'd think that. But living in an area where your packages could be stolen or dogs barking constantly, someone parking in your spot can be mentally and physically challenging. You'd be stressed living somewhere like that.

You probably grew up in humble surroundings so you don't relate or identify with the circumstances you're in now. But no way you should want that for you or your children.

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SpiritedAd5993@reddit

I love this post.

When I moved into the city I’ve been in for 20 years, I moved with my family to a very middle class area. Family abuse took place on the doorstep - people looked from behind their curtains and nobody called the police.

Things were happening in plain sight but nobody wanted to get involved. Before long, I was living in a council estate where some people have lived for decades. There are absolutely some problem residents, but everybody has everybody else else’s back. People piss people off, there are fights in the street every so often, but I’ve never had nicer neighbours.

I am completely with you; the only thing you can do is try and change it from the inside and maybe one or two people will follow your lead and it will spread… Fingers crossed!!

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Illustrious-Divide95@reddit

I think you're just unlucky.

I've moved out of the city (London - a mixed working class and middle class neighbourhood) recently to a largeish village where it is mainky "middle class" i guess. A few big houses for the upper class and a small development of social housing.

I live in a modest 1960s house on a development. Everyone owns (mortgaged) and most kids go to the local state primary school or nearby Secondary. Small minority go private.

Classic lower middle to middle class i guess. Everyone is so lovely and friendly, the kids are generally polite and apart from usual school nonsense, have been so welcoming to my kids who started mid year.

I've been pleasantly surprised that there's so little entitlement and attitude similar to what you described.

I guess it depends on where you are.

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iambeherit@reddit

Sounds like me at work. Surrounded by absolute snakes and two faced back stabbers. At least growing up I knew what a junkie was, what a bamstick was gonna do. These people, fuck me, they're so fucking high and mighty and think they're so much better than each other.

It's a struggle man.

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yoloswaggins92@reddit

Get the feeling. I still live in a typically "working class" area, but I've worked my way up from an entry level call centre job to a more kushy office role. Money is good and the work is less stressful but my GOD the patter is chronic. I'm still good friends with folk I met in the call centre over ten years ago, but I wouldn't dream of joining a WhatsApp group chat with these surface-level drones I'm stuck with now lol

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AdRealistic4984@reddit

I know exactly what you mean, to be honest, though it’s got a lot more to do with the conflict-averse, bitchy, “”polite”” parts of middle class life

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cold_tap_hot_brew@reddit

I grew up in wealth as a child and chose a simple life for my adulthood.

I think I’m slightly too autistic and too interested in conversation to be a participant in the lifestyle you’re speaking about. No point shoving a square peg in the round hole if there are plenty of other options.

Your privilege is your ability to choose, not your prison.

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da316@reddit

do you know these people well enough to say they're all fake back stabbers? or are you unfairly judging them?
its not the price of being in a safe place as its not that black and white.
I grew up working class in a rough area and if it came down to it, id 100% take fake nice over the fear of getting the shit kicked out of me every day. im still paying for some of that stuff now at 36.

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tiny-but-spicy@reddit

You'd rather be threatened with physical violence than deal with someone slightly snobby? Yeah this is a you problem mate

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Scared-Room-9962@reddit

I get it, but I'd rather live in a street of snobby wankers than the mentally ill sociopaths that inhabit the worst estates.

No one has ever tried to stab me in Gosforth. Can't say the same for Jarrow.

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ConsiderMyTimbers@reddit

I fear you may be overthinking it.

You clearly don't like the people that you're now surrounded with but like the lifestyle that you have.

Don't stress it too much and remind yourself of how you feel now if you ever find yourself becoming the people you are surrounded with.

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