ULPT request: how to get coworker to shut up
Posted by EnvironmentalSinger1@reddit | UnethicalLifeProTips | View on Reddit | 48 comments
I bring kids from a transition sped program to the local high school to wash dishes. One of the male paras in his upper 50s/lower 60s calls me (42f) a “screenager” if I’m on my phone or even reading on my Kindle (I have a lot of downtime between checking in with my students). What is a good reply to shut him up and make him wonder if I am giving him snark or not? Mine you, he frequently has his phone out. He’s one of the “I’m better than you” jerks.
k5light@reddit
Pardon my confusion but.. They make the special ed kids go to the high school to wash dishes?
bent_my_wookie@reddit
Mmm
EnvironmentalSinger1@reddit (OP)
They get paid. They are 18+ and are in a transitional program to work toward life skills like working, managing money, shopping, etc.
k5light@reddit
Ah. That makes a whole lot more sense.
EnvironmentalSinger1@reddit (OP)
I should have clarified! People are probably thinking 8 year olds 😂
Revolutionary-Half-3@reddit
I know some 8yo special needs kids that would absolutely love that, and others that would never be able to do it.
k5light@reddit
That's exactly what I was thinking
Key-Candle8141@reddit
silverheart-nine@reddit
I don't think I want to know how one might "lather." ...That part sounds like it might be time to talk to a doctor, lol.
letthetreeburn@reddit
Hit him with the gen z stare. Don’t emote. Don’t blink. Slow your breathing as you can.
Lust1991@reddit
I think you got the gist of the answers!
But also if someone makes weird comments just stay completely serious and ask „what did you say?“ „what does that mean“ „oh, so why is that funny“. Just use any method that takes the wind out of their sails.
Sea_Bear7754@reddit
Just make a bunch of old person jokes. “Time for a new hip?” “Wow I’m impressed you can use a cell phone so well at your age” “Do you think you walked faster at 2 years old or now?” “Do you know any good estate planners? I’m sure you’ve been thinking about that?” “You’re going to the bathroom a lot you should get your prostate checked that’s a big thing at your age?” “Were people mad that donkeys were put out of business when the steam engine was invented? “Do you ever wish you could go back in time so you could touch your toes again?”
And do it nonstop.
Also play dementia with him. “You said you were going to grab that 504 for me an hour ago did you forget?” “Did you ever email back X student’s mom like you said you were going to?” “I don’t want you to forget where you put your keys do you want me to hold them for you?”
My dad with dementia HATES when I ask stuff like that.
Lastly when you’re around him make little comments about how it smells bad or smells like death and look over to him.
M-G@reddit
Sounds like a good way to get OP busted for harassment.
Longjumping-Hyena173@reddit
Pretty sure they’re already being harassed, OP is being generous by keeping HR out of this.
Comprehensive_Cut179@reddit
Try to sell him on joining your downstream in am MLM lol use business opportunity, and passive income a lot. Bonus points if you forward his contact info to someone who doesn't that like sells CUTCO lol
MakeWar90@reddit
https://youtu.be/GOo3c-A3Jxs?si=n7Mt9T_TSUK2-MuL
deleted_by_reddit@reddit
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literally_tho_tbh@reddit
DAMN. the donkey one is freaking SAVAGE
browndeskchair@reddit
Just give him the ‘ol “Bless your heart!”
iH8MotherTeresa@reddit
Make him explain every joke he tells, starting with screenager. It's not funny when you have to explain a joke. Make him give context and have him elaborate like you have no idea what he's talking about.
ACynicalOptomist@reddit
Just keep saying what and look puzzled. Rinse and repeat. Make him repeat it over and over again. I do that whenever anyone tries to diss me.
EnvironmentalSinger1@reddit (OP)
Oh I like this!
ACynicalOptomist@reddit
When I used to go to church I did this once to the pastor because he was trying to be snarky back to me. There were a bunch of us out in the parking lot. I just kept walking further away with each time I said huh or what. By the fourth time he realizes what I was doing. His face got so red with embarrassment and he got so angry. It was so funny. I just waved and said bye, lol.
I left the church and then turns out he had a porn addiction. His wife made him take a lie detector test, which I know from watching Housewives are malarkey. He went from the church and apologized and damn it I missed it. The whole church blew up and I never went back. He and his wife acted like he was the football star and she was the head cheerleader it was weird. He just thought he was all that and I had to show him he wasn't, lol.
FreudianSlipperyNipp@reddit
Tell him you sit on your phone or kindle so you don’t have to talk to him.
SuitableExercise7096@reddit
Unethical: Claim he's sexually harassing you to whoevers in charge
Less ethical: Fuck his dad
Ethical: tell him to "::inserert his name::: stop bothering me"
EnvironmentalSinger1@reddit (OP)
Can I fuck his son instead? Dad is probably dead.
sweetalkersweetalker@reddit
Only if you take pictures and post them here
ZZCCR1966@reddit
THIS…🔼🔼🔼🤣🤣🤣🤣
PimoCrypto777@reddit
Generate ai pics of him sucking dick and leave them where only his coworkers will find them.
AvoirReves@reddit
When I want someone to stop talking to me I find putting my hand up, shushing if necessary and looking down or away works quite well.
_Internet_Hugs_@reddit
"Just because you grew up etching words into stone tablets doesn't mean that some of us don't appreciate modern technology."
Hairflipgiggle@reddit
Offer him a breath mint. Then kinda shake your head like saying, “cuz, ya kinda need it…”. Maybe he’ll leave you alone then, but if not next time he talks to you, hold your nose “trying “ to be discreet and walk away.
FairyCompetent@reddit
"did you need something?" anything snarky is going to sound childish.
Careful-Temporary868@reddit
“ there’s a sped that keeps verbally harassing me how do i nuke him metaphorically “
SuitableExercise7096@reddit
hol' up
You take sped kids to wash Dishes?
EnvironmentalSinger1@reddit (OP)
18+ and they’re paid. Working on job skills!
GirlStiletto@reddit
"OK, Boomer"
EnvironmentalSinger1@reddit (OP)
Probably the best.
i-am-foxymoron@reddit
I would laugh hysterically, like it's the funniest thing I've ever heard. Start calling yourself s screenager ir bring it into conversation when you are around them.
No one else gives a rat's ass that he calls you that, just you, right? Own it and it will take the power out of the word.
EnvironmentalSinger1@reddit (OP)
He’s just an annoying prick. I will! Thanks!
GirlStiletto@reddit
"I'm sorry, I think you mistook me for someone who give a single fu<k about your opinion."
"Shh, grownups are talking."
jueidu@reddit
“Okay grandpa.”
INeedAllOfTheCats@reddit
Don't look up from the phone and lift that middle finger up!
Merry_Sue@reddit
Call him a screenager too?
When my husband is on his phone too much, I'll complain about all these (just him) teenagers (in his 50s) being on their phones too much
He doesn't think it's as funny as I do, but that's ok
Fabulous-Educator447@reddit
Shut the fuck up, Joe.
odiin1731@reddit
"Coworker, shut up."
nicci73@reddit
tell him to mind his business, or ignore and move away from him