Other things we object to as a family who rejects the surveillance state: We reject Elf on a Shelf because that asshole is an NSA stooge! And in our house, Santa doesn't watch you for naughty and niceness or watch you asleep and awake; Santa knows that all children are inherently good and trying really hard. Santa might be judgy about adults who are assholes, but Santa knows that all children are inherently good and trying their best, and it's okay with Santa if you mess up as long as you know you messed up. And if Santa skips some houses it's because he knows those houses are Hannukah houses and he respects the Festival of Lights, and knows those parents love their kids enough to give them good gifts.

The first phones I got them HAD NO ABILITY TO TRACK/DO GPS. I got an Amish/Kosher phone (from sunbeam wireless) and first of all they are indestructible because they're meant to have cows step on them, but also my next phone will probably be a Sunbeam Wireless flip phone because I would ALSO like to step away from the app economy!

I will also say, we made our children sign phone contracts, that laid out their rights and responsibilities for having a phone. For example, they are responsible for telling me if there is any bullying occurring in a group chat and I will do my best to keep their name out of it, but I am telling the school. I also have the right to look through their chats and phone records, but my teenagers have had phones for more than 8 years now and I've done spot checks like twice. They're good kids, they listen, they understand why it's important to behave appropriately on their phones, and I have not had to intervene.  We are very upfront with them about problems with technology and things they need to be on watch for.

When we first gave them phones we talked about how they should text us when they got where they were going so we knew what they were there safely, and how they should text people they were visiting when they got home so the people they were visiting knew they got there safely. It's very much just teaching them basic phone manners like anyone would have learned in the last 50 years. And then talking to them about bullying and how bullying can occur via phone apps. They're good kids, they have good friends, it's not really an issue we've had to worry about. But we totally tell their friends that our kids had to sign phone contracts and they're all gobsmacked that we made our kids do that! 

Our entire parenting thing is about scaffolding their independence so they slowly gain more power over their own lives, with us there as a fallback. We started letting them ride their bikes to school and camp and things like that when they were eight, and at first we rode with them all the way, and then we would ride with them until the last bit, and then we would ride with them just part way and let them go the second half, and then we let them go alone. They proved to us that they understood how to bike safely in our community, and as they felt more comfortable and safer riding the second half alone, we let them do that and text us when they arrived.  We talked about what to do in emergencies and ow to handle them, and now they bike all over town wherever they feel like going, and we feel fine about it. 

In fact, as my oldest has started driving, he has shown a remarkable ability to make good decisions, I think because he's being biking on his own since he was 8 years old, so he's very good at making risk decisions. This just isn't his first time navigating traffic, he's already been doing it for 8 years!

Also strong recommend this as a parenting strategy, because I had drive my children nowhere, they ride their bikes everywhere, it is amazing. Other parents constantly complain about having to drive their kids everywhere? I drive my kids basically nowhere.