Whats the best English Football Chant?

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Such_Conference_8750@reddit

"Park Park wherever you may be, you eat dogs in your own country, well it could be worse, you could be Scouse, eating rats in a council house"

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neilm1000@reddit

He shoots, he scores, he eats labradors!

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Last season, we (Leeds United) played Millwall at home in the FA Cup. A large number of their fans started singing 'always look out for Turks carrying knives' to mock two of our fans who were stabbed to death in Istanbul, and whose families still attend our matches and were likely there.

One Millwall fan was arrested for something, a young lad maybe 20 years old. In the Elland Road police cell he took a shit on the floor and smeared it all over the walls.

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weateallthepies@reddit

I know nothing about football but I grew up in an area with a lot of Millwall supporters. They were just the worst people. I think they just like to live down to their reputation.

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CourtneyLush@reddit

Years ago, my ex got threatened with a stabbing at London Bridge by a Millwall supporter. I told him not to wear an Arsenal hat on a match day. But NOOO, he knew better.

After that he did remove the hat.

Weirdly enough, my ex boss was a Millwall supporter and he was a really nice bloke but, yeah. They had that reputation for a reason.

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First-Can3099@reddit

I remember my Dad taking me to a Wigan Athletic match in the 80s when I was a little lad. Up the other end there was a full-on riot between fans. The visiting team? Millwall…

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weateallthepies@reddit

BNP and various associated groups were very active in my area too at that time and it all seemed to be many of the same people. Thankfully much has changed since those days.

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CourtneyLush@reddit

I remember. The BNP had very deep links within a few football 'firms' and Millwall was the most notorious for that.

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Gary_Garibaldi@reddit

Weirdly I live in an area now with lots of Millwall fans and get on with lots of them but they do have a sizeable amount of fucking idiots who support them too.

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weateallthepies@reddit

Actually as a young student in Leeds, stumbling into possibly a far too "local" pub. Some of the Leeds fans were....not welcoming :)

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Gary_Garibaldi@reddit

Yes, in some ways Leeds fans are like the Millwall of the north. Both with terrible reputations

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weateallthepies@reddit

Yeah they were seriously scary, lunatic racists with weapons. Very much not my general experience in Leeds, beyond the weird dealers some of my fellow students frequented.

We were of course annoying students which didn't help matters.

My daughter is now a student in Leeds and have other family there so it didn't put me off :)

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Gary_Garibaldi@reddit

Yes, Leeds the city vs Leeds the reputation of the football fans don't really add up!

Although i've been going to watch the football team for decades and the moron element is vanishingly small these days.

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weateallthepies@reddit

Yeah I imagine things have changed somewhat. I'm thinking back to growing up when the whole hooligan thing was a thing, but I guess that reputation is still there regardless.

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Admiral-snackbaa@reddit

My name is always told me if you support millwall you’ll get nits and stink of piss

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Gary_Garibaldi@reddit

And over a decade ago, Dave Jones was managing Sheffield Wednesday- he described us Leeds Fans as 'Vile Animals'. Next time we played them Leeds fans chanted 'we are leeds, we are vile, David Jones is a Paedophile'. That's now morphed int a general chant that gets rolled out from time to time. For example, we played Southampton in the Play Off final 2 seasons ago. Former PM Rishi Sunak is a Southampton fan and was at the match. Leeds fans sang 'we are Leeds, we are vile, Rishi Sunak is a Paedophile'.

Similarly the other night we played Burnley who have an interim manager called Michael Jackson. You can imagine what was chanted.

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fightmilk5905@reddit

He was just making himself at home.

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CalumH91@reddit

Not English but since this is Ask a Brit. East Fife fans in Scotland sign a song about their rivals Cowdenbeath to the theme of The Adams Family that goes;

They come from near Lochgelly They havnae got a telly They're dirty and they're smelly The Cowden Family

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Gary_Garibaldi@reddit

And an English one - 'your sister is your mother, your uncle is your brother, you all fuck one another, the Norwich family'...

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Kind_Ad5566@reddit

Your mother is your sister.

She likes it when you fist her.

Your brother tried to kiss her.

The "insert whoever" family.

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Mr_SunnyBones@reddit

this is the one I was thinking of

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mralistair@reddit

if we are doing scottish one... "Jimmy Hill is a cunt"

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Careful-Builder-9931@reddit

Any of the Scottish ones… the English don’t have a chance if this is a competition.

I don’t even want to post them here because they’re so outrageous/sectarian/(racist), but some of them are funny if you can put aside political correctness for a wee moment

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Beartato4772@reddit

You wouldn't know the chants, they go to a different school.

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Careful-Builder-9931@reddit

?

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Beartato4772@reddit

"They're totally better but I refuse to post them to prove it"

You're chatting shit.

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90210fred@reddit

Some of which are explicitly outlawed by law? I'm thinking of the sectarian ones.

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Reasonable-Key9235@reddit

I’ve heard a few, I don’t get offended and thought they were bloody funny. A mates a Celtic fan and he’s told me a few lol

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Careful-Builder-9931@reddit

Oh I agree, they’re brilliant. Just don’t want to get banned from Reddit 🤣

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Careful-Builder-9931@reddit

Cute English one though -

“I can’t read, I can’t write, but that don’t really matter… cuz I’m a Bristol city fan, and I can drive a tractor”

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Thatchers-Gold@reddit

Um as a Bristol City fan I’ll have you know the last line is “and I’m a fucking wanker”

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Gary_Garibaldi@reddit

Leeds Fans about Man U- 'Follow follow follow, they're a team full of fucking weirdos. Ronaldo's a rapist, Greenwood's a rapist, Scholesy is sucking on toes...'

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Polish_Shamrock@reddit

Always love this one

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booroms@reddit

Arsenal had especially disgusting chants directed to Emmanuel Adebayor "killed in Angola, it should've been you" in reference to the 2010 Togo national team bus attack and "your dad washes elephants, your mum is a whore".

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Decard_Pain@reddit

The best ones can't be posted.

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PipBin@reddit

Years ago when David Beckham had just married Victoria there used to be a chant to the tune of Bread of Heaven’. It went: Do you take her, Do you take her, Do you take her up the Arse (up the Arse), Do you take her up the Arsenal?

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Ok_Veterinarian2715@reddit

My favourite goes -

"We lose every week,

We lose every week,

You're nuffin special,

Cos We lose every week!"

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Tank-o-grad@reddit

It's only three nil.

How shit must you be?

It's only three nil!

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Fun-Brush5136@reddit

An old one - when Wayne Rooney's wife got pissed off with him and left him, taking their son kai with her, fans started singing "No woman, no kai" to the tune of Bob Marley

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tetlee@reddit

The Chelsea song

We'll just call you Dave, We'll just call you Dave, Azpilicueta, We'll just call you Dave...

Particularly because everyone actually said his name right

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M0T10N@reddit

Grimsby town have a large amount of fish based chants, with them being a major fishing port throughout history. My favourite is "We piss on your fish, yes we do, yes we do"

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pinkandpluffy@reddit

“You’re so shit, you’re so shit, you’re Derby in disguise” from the Forest fans.

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HMSWarspite03@reddit

I heard a large group of Arsenal fans singing " When Tottenham fucked it up" which is hilarious

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infectedsense@reddit

I assume this is true of all teams/rivalries but I love the way Arsenal fans chant about Tottenham at every game. Doesn't matter who they're playing, you'll inevitably hear: what do you think of Tottenham? SHIT. What do you think of shit? TOTTENHAM.

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Wasps_are_bastards@reddit

The Adam Johnson paedophile ones were savage, yet true.

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LivingProgram8109@reddit

As a Sunderland supporter this is the one that comes to mind.

https://youtu.be/23GJZidRTjg?si=XKe-Hog1OiAE130k

excellent username btw - wasps are indeed bastards!

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redandbluebadness@reddit

the was a particularly nasty one Spurs used to sing about Sol Campbell but I won't repeat it here, nor will I repeat what people sing about the Munich air disaster, or chant about Heysal and Hillsborough, mainly because I'd probably get banned.

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First-Lengthiness-16@reddit

Then why bring them up?

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redandbluebadness@reddit

Well that's the point of the thread is it not?

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First-Lengthiness-16@reddit

Yeah sorry. Completely misread what you wrote.

Not gonna do a dirty delete, gonna take the inevitable downvotes that such slapdash Reddit usage deserves!

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redandbluebadness@reddit

No worries!

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tomisurf@reddit

The Chuckle Brothers were well loved British kids TV entertainers who supported Rotherham United. Their catch phrase was "To Me.....To You....To me...To You" back and forth between the two during some slapstick type sketch (google it!). Following Barry's death in 2018 at the Rotherham v Ipswich game fans of both sides took part in a tribute to him with one set shouting "To Me..." and the other shouting "To You..." etc during the game, back and forth. I always thought that one was difficult to beat.

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happymisery@reddit

There are a couple that spring to mind, first is "Van Persie, if a girl says no molest her" to the tune of Bo Selecta or ‘Your sister is your mother and your uncle is your brother you’re all fucking one another it’s the Norfolk family’ to the Addams Family theme.

Special mention for Scots when Andy Goram was diagnosed with schizophrenia - "Theres only two Andy Gorams, theres only two Andy Gorams etc"

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Radio-Birdperson@reddit

The Andy Goram chant is too fucking funny.

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Krakshotz@reddit

“Lee Howey, Lee Howey, Lee Howey! Your brother is a c*nt!”

Context: Sunderland-born Lee Howey played for Sunderland in the 90s. His brother Steve played for rivals Newcastle.

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PMc1666@reddit

I remember when Villa defender Paul McGrath had some alcohol problems Newcastle fans were singing ‘where’s your drunken centre half’ when we were hammering them 5-1 during a PL match back in the 90s. The same game we were also singing ‘are you watching big fat Ron’ at their then manager Ron Atkinson during the same game.

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UTB92@reddit

My favourite Middlesbrough chant was for Joseph Desire Job:
“There’s only one Job on Teesside”

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Crivens999@reddit

I always enjoyed the classic “Does she take it”. Lovely

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malkebulan@reddit

Fuck off Adam Johnson

You’re going down for noncing

You’re a paedophile! You’re a paedophile.

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barrybreslau@reddit

"He's a cunt, he's a cunt, the referees a cunt". To the tune of "Ebenezer Goode" by the Shamen. https://youtu.be/7b2T8K2D-ps

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barrybreslau@reddit

Or the song about Kidderminster Harriers being inbred: https://youtu.be/YUTTnrs4Myo

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signol_@reddit

Usually the chant of "Did you come in a taxi?" is for away fans who didn't come in number. Unless it's directed at an opposition player recently convicted of drink driving and thus banned. (At Norwich, can't remember the opposition player now, it was years ago!)

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Beartato4772@reddit

When the ball hits your head and you're sat in Row Z, that's Zamora.

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Gary_Garibaldi@reddit

The best reply to an offensive chant was Brighton fans when I went to watch Leeds there a long time ago. Some Leeds fans started chanting 'you're just a town full of bummers', and Brighton replied 'you're too ugly, you're too ugly, you're too ugly to be gay!'. It got a big laugh and a round of applause.

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