Tips for sailing with small kids?
Posted by wannabecanuck@reddit | sailing | View on Reddit | 23 comments
My partner and I have only very recently learned to sail. I did sailing camp as a kid and learned on a sunfish, and we have had a little sunfish that we had access to using a few times a year, but this year we got the proper sailing licenses required where we live to sail bigger boats (sorry, I don’t know a lot of the sailing words in English but I mean boats with a cabin rather than smaller ones without), and we’re pretty new to that experience (each about 1 year into proper instruction). We’re looking to buy our first boat, and are pretty far along in the process on a lovely Etap 30i. If we pull the trigger, I’m wondering what we can do to make the sailing experience as safe and fun as possible for our two kids (7 and 4). Of course they’ll be in properly fitted life jackets, and I’ve been reading about adding netting to the rails and potentially a tether, but I’d love to hear about any experience or tips any of you have for family sailing fun. Ideally we’d also like to be able to go on longer trips where we sleep in the boat as well. Our 7 year old understands the basics and enjoys knots and helping with the process of sailing, but the 4 year old isn’t quite there yet in terms of attention span. Thank you in advance!
neutral-labs@reddit
Speaking from experience, keep it entertaining and engaging. Hours on end in the cockpit or below deck lead to bored kids, which is a recipe for disaster.
Avoid long passages, anchor frequently, let them swim and play, and ideally have a SUP and/or a small RIB on board to explore the anchorage. Go to shore often and have them run around. If the weather situation permits, kids in the RIB or on the SUP being pulled by the boat is great fun, and with life jackets on it's reasonably safe in calm conditions, and not offshore obviously.
Speaking of life jackets, I support being a role model and wearing your PFD all the time while on deck. Too often I see only the kids outfitted with PFDs (or kids with their parents on a bike, with only the kids wearing helmets), and all that leads to is the realisation that not wearing it is a sign of maturity, so they're eager to get rid of it as soon as they're old enough. :/
Plastic_Table_8232@reddit
Good info. I burned my kids out on long passages. Had TV, games, puzzles, kites, and went out of my way to make the boat as comfortable as possible. I destroyed sailing for them. I’m sure as they mature they will come to enjoy it someday. We actually bought a 3 stateroom boat so they could have their own private births, we’ve owned the boat for almost 3 years now and they have not even seen it.
When they said they didn’t want to go I regret encouraging them despite doing my best to adventure, entertain, and explore with them.
They enjoyed our powerboat much more unfortunately but I stoped launching it because I didn’t have the time to maintain/ operate / pre-post season, ect.
I just thought they would start to enjoy it if they had enough positive experience but it never happened.
FairSeafarer@reddit
That's unfortunate. Our kids are okay now with long passages. I have to say their first long passage was 24 days and we had told them sugar did not exists in French Polynesia. After that, everything was easy, like, "just 10-11 days for this one?". And they since know sweet treats exist everywhere. lol.
What I've noticed with kids is also that destination matters. If you are doing it to reach another boring city as opposed to reaching white beaches and warm waters for endless beach days, it doesn't do the same thing. Kids don't get too excited with hikes either... That's annoying because as adults we are exited with a hike and the views at the end of this hike totally make the sailing worth it... For kids, not so much. We even stop in some places because they have a cool waterpark. It's odd to do that when on a sailboat, but it's the kind of thing you look out for if sailing with kids.
neutral-labs@reddit
You can't force these things, and it can be frustrating. I've got a lot of hobbies that I wanted to share with my kids, and for most of them, there was just no interest. One day I told my daughter how happy I would have been if my parents had given me just a fraction of the opportunities, and she said I had to understand that to them, those things I do and own are nothing special, it's normal and what they grew up with. And it clicked for me. Provide the opportunities, and an open ear, listen to what they are interested in, and you'll have a much better relationship with your kids.
That said, we've had a couple of great sailing vacations, and even though I'm the most nautically inclined in the family by far, and they're a bit older now, they will still hop on the boat with me from time to time, and I cherish these moments while I can. :)
Plastic_Table_8232@reddit
Mine are all creating 20 now. Many of my friends kids do come on the boat more as they age.
I never forced it, I just begged them to come a few times and it didn’t change their perspective.
With the way we sail it’s hard to go to the boat and do a 1 hour sail. Were to far from the boat and once we were onboard to took an hour to get out of the bay. No locations like restaurants, ect in the bay so short hops would be relegated to simply bay sailing which they also didn’t find enjoyable.
Shifted to destination sailing with them and then I just stoped taking them along.
Maybe one day, maybe not. Either way this is my wife and I’s hobby / lifestyle not the kids. They are always welcome but never show.
I was with my grandpa on the water all the time as kid. Sometimes it did get boring but how often was I bored at home at that age? Bringing a friend along would have made it more fun but they never wanted to bring a friend.
Maybe now that they are older they will find it more likable.
neutral-labs@reddit
This is a good point. With mobile devices and social media, kids' brains are no longer used to boredom. Even I find that when at home or working, I'll instinctively reach for my phone all the time just to check if there's anything new. When sailing, I can and will just stare at the water for hours. Cathartic bliss. We even need boredom in order to be creative. But imagine what smartphone use does to a young brain.
Plastic_Table_8232@reddit
I have been injured with limited mobility and have spent way too much time on Reddit, YouTube, ect. I actually deleted Reddit from my phone last week because I feel it pulling me away from tasks at hand.
neutral-labs@reddit
Good call! I only use it on desktop myself.
Naive_Adeptness6895@reddit
You should also know how to sail, don’t rely on them alone.
wannabecanuck@reddit (OP)
What? Im not sure you read my post. I..do know how to sail and am obviously not relying on my kids.
Naive_Adeptness6895@reddit
You should also know how to sail, don’t rely on them alone. /s forgot to put this symbol. Joking!
sailing_by_the_lee@reddit
When my kids were that age, three-quarter-round netting gave everyone a greater sense of comfort, especially my wife. It allowed the kids to walk around the deck more securely, and it prevented one roll-off. As an adult, you don't notice netting as much at thigh level, but kids are short and it gives them something more to hold on to.
Teach them about always having 3 points of contact when on deck.
We also had two "safety spots" for tacking where they wouldn't get hit by a sail, a line, or an elbow. Find those spots on your new boat. And, of course, we'd send them below when things got too rough or wet.
Also, pool noodles. They're great for swimming at anchor. It let's the kids float around and play without crowding around the stern ladder.
And treats. Have them associate sailing with better access to treats.
FairSeafarer@reddit
We have 4 kids on our sailboat, full time. They are now older. But basically, you are lucky. At 4 & 7, they already listen to you, maybe half the time. But surely they understand danger.
Just tell them that when it’s serious, mom and dad will ask of them to stay in the cabin.
They’ll love it. You are lucky, you can do 1 for 1 in terms of ratios for adult and kids.
Tether them when they are in the cockpit until they understand how to behave for tacks and the dynamics of it. Practice man overboard, especially showing them how fast objects disappear when tossed in the water.
Our youngest had fears of the boat healing. After much explaining and much sailing, he finally got how balance and the keel worked.
Do not underestimate your 4 years old. He or she can understand a lot. There is an inherent danger of being on a sailboat and I’ve find kids are most conscious of it. It’s scary to think you’d fall in the water and be left behind. Gosh, it’s a scary thought as an adult, then even more so for a child. No doubt he needs an eye on at all times, but I’m just mentioning it for you to be comfortable bringing them out there!
You’ll do just fine. Happy family sailing!
wannabecanuck@reddit (OP)
Thanks so much! I think it’s great advice to have us practice man overboard maneuvers with them, we’ll definitely be doing that!
Novel-Atmosphere8995@reddit
Maybe obvious but for the man overboard, think about how to practice if you (or your partner) are the one that goes in the water.
Infamous-Adeptness71@reddit
Take precautions. Make sure they are strong swimmers. Buy them PFDs that they like to wear.
Whatever you do, don't spend the entire time on the water hen pecking them constantly. That completely defeats the purpose. Keeping a very close eye is fine, but a constant stream of "oh honey careful" "oh honey that's close enough" is going to drive everyone mental.
longbrass9lbd@reddit
Jack lines, and harness as well unless seated in cockpit. Little ones kinda enjoy it especially going forward.
Infamous-Adeptness71@reddit
Kid always tied to the boat? No way. That's the opposite of what I'm saying.
Glenbard@reddit
My wife and I have been sailing with our 2 kids since they were toddlers. We’ve had great success… they are both still alive….. and they both love sailing.
It came down to two things: 1. Establish and enforce ground rules 2. Make it fun… always (especially when it’s not - like during the surprise squall)
When they were really young I installed safety netting on the lifelines. That helps somewhat… the aft was still open and there are spots at the bow not fully netted in. It was more about peace of mind as our kids were not allowed out of the cockpit at anytime whatsoever while we were underway and then never at dock or anchor unless an adult was with them. It was like herding cats but we always enforced that simple rule.
We didn’t have toys aboard that would roll easily. A child will chase their favorite ball off a cliff… or off the stern into the water…
We bought PFDs specifically for kids and (painfully - those things are expensive) replaced them with new ones as they grew. The PFD rule was always while underway… starting before we’d even fire up the diesel. My wife and I also wore them…. We tried not to have as many “kids only rules” so it wouldn’t become a “do as I say, not as I do” situation (those never work out well in the long run). We also had lifelines for them with an attachment point in the cockpit. We used them when they were little but stopped when they were around 7 unless sea conditions deteriorated… if they got too bad my wife would go below with them. Again though, if you can keep them in the cockpit (as long as it’s safe) they’ll do better…. Less seasickness and you can make riding the waves and getting sprayed in the face fun…. It was a mix of safety and keeping it lighthearted and fun.
We got the kids involved… both loved being at the helm from an early age. They’d help on the winches…. Play with the chart plotter (tip; have your nav charts on a second device, like an iPad or something, for when they inevitably change a setting so bad you’ll need to consult the manual when you’re next at anchor)… basically let them help with and then do as much as they can as that will make them feel involved and they’ll have fun. My son’s big day was when he got to radio the port authorities upon arrival to Port Royal when he was about 6 years old.
We kept things onboard for them to do. They get board helping with the lines or navigating… that’s fine. Let them do what they have the attention span for and then let them go play. Maybe you didn’t teach them everything you wanted to that day… it’s fine… they’ll get it later.
Anyway, with any luck your kids will be safe and you’ll foster a love for a hobby more expensive than a cocaine habit….
wannabecanuck@reddit (OP)
Any advice to making it fun when it’s not? This is one of the things I’m thinking about a little more. My instinct is to keep them safe under deck when things get “unfun” but that’s probably short sighted.
Luckily the club we’d be joining with our marina spot has a very robust arsenal of kid stuff, including PFDs for all sizes, and hard rules that the kids need to have them on everywhere on the club grounds except in the restaurant.
Very much appreciate the iPad tip!
Hopefully they’ll be so broke from sailing they won’t have any cocaine money left when they’re older…
notadamnprincess@reddit
With smaller kids, the 4 year old in particular, teach them early about tacking and how to walk without being thrown around/into things. Otherwise your kid will end up with lots of bruises and people asking questions. Also, if you need them still give them a “job”. Holding the tail of a cleated line during tacks can be “very important” but keep a kid seated in the cockpit when you may have a lot going on. Might not work on the 7 year old but likely would on your 4 year old.
wannabecanuck@reddit (OP)
You’re right, I might be underestimating my younger son. Thanks for the advice!
pdq_sailor@reddit
Life jackets and safety harnesses.. Rules.. no leaving the cockpit... no mesh on life lines... We raised two from infancy to adulthood on our boat... They need books, toys, a lee cloth on their bunks... a TV helps. We bought each of our children their own optimist sailboat for their sixth birthday... they could each sail before riding a two wheel bicycle...we enrolled them in Junior sailing camps a year before they were permitted to do so... They became proficient sailors...