What is the most strictly enforced unwritten rule of British pub etiquette that outsiders just don't seem to grasp?
Posted by Necessary_Angle2117@reddit | AskUK | View on Reddit | 250 comments
For me, it has to be the "invisible queue" at the bar. To a tourist, it just looks like a chaotic mob of people leaning on the sticky wood, but everyone in that huddle knows exactly who arrived before them and who is next.
That, and the absolute mortal sin of waving your money or clicking your fingers to get the bartender's attention, instead of just waiting patiently and doing the subtle 'eyebrow raise and head nod'.
Aside from the sacred, unbreakable laws of buying rounds, what is the absolute fastest way someone can out themselves as having zero pub etiquette?
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PatternWeary3647@reddit
If you are ordering a big round which contains one Guinness, ask for the Guinness first.
Admirable-Trouble789@reddit
Also if it is busy and you've got a large round to order at least know what it is that you want.
And for the love of everything can you PLEASE have your payment method ready.
Long time hospitality worker here.
shitty_zombies@reddit
As a long time retail user the not having your payment method in your hand ready gives me PTSD. When a woman does it I think it's called Purse That Stays Dormant.
BreadfruitOdd9974@reddit
What exactly do you imagine your job to be if it’s not better customer service than a self service till could do?
Vanzzer@reddit
In what way is you taking longer to pay and holding up anyone behind you a reflection on the service your getting?
BreadfruitOdd9974@reddit
It is the job of the cashier to provide excellent service to the customer before them. Let inter customer social pressure do the rest. Otherwise the cashier can confidently be replaced by a self service till
Vanzzer@reddit
You didn't awnser my question.
I can only take it you think they should sit there smiling, telling you 'there's no rush, take as long as you need', is some material improvment on the service to you.
BreadfruitOdd9974@reddit
I think their job is to implement the policy set by their management. And I contend that if their job is throughput then it’s hard to make a case that at minimum wage they worthwhile to employ in all but in minimum numbers to supplement automatic tills. They can improve their perception of value by doing that which you so deride.
Vanzzer@reddit
'If they are nice to me they deserve to be paid, if not replace them with a machine. It's better for the company anyway'
Of course you would be American.
BreadBat100@reddit
Sounds like you've met my other half! 🤣🤣🤣
dread1961@reddit
Side note but the modern thing of letting customers have a taste of the beer before buying a pint is fine if it's not busy but keeping everyone waiting while you swill yet another free sample around your mouth is taking the piss.
thecatsothermother@reddit
If it a large order/for more than just me,I write it down.
Sweetie-07@reddit
As a former barmaid, I wholeheartedly agree!
danthemaninacan2@reddit
Pints of Bitter too (although not as popular these days!)
Sweetie-07@reddit
Guiness definitely a lot more so than pints of bitter - you have to give it time to settle at the liberty before topping up the head with a perfect four-leafed clover 😉 I'm very particular about pouring the perfect Guiness! 👍
sihasihasi@reddit
If you were, you'd know it's a Shamrock. And has three leaves.
Sweetie-07@reddit
Shamrock - that's the word, but the pub I worked at first always did 4 leaf clovers, rather than the 3 leaf and the stem.. But thanks for reminding me of the word! 👍😂
Over-Language2599@reddit
No if it's a big round I order my drink first so I can get a second one in at the end of the round.
Snoo-84389@reddit
Moneybags 😉
keyholes@reddit
Out of curiosity, does the same apply to the low alcohol version of Guinness? Friend often has one of these if he might need to drive later.
trial_and_errer@reddit
Absolutely it does. Guinness (all kinds) needs to settle before being served so takes the longest to prepare.
Nine-Eyes-@reddit
I really wish we could give this up finally. It's just an old marketing gimmick that's become a ritual, but it has no bearing on the end result at all and just means more waiting time
Terry__Tibbs@reddit
Guinness drinkers really are weird, like nobody cares if you can sip down to the label in one go
el-destroya@reddit
You needn't leave it that's true but you do need to change the angle about 2/3s the way through to get the head looking perfect, it's just a bit less forgiving than most beers. It's easier for most to pull it partially, leave it a moment and then finish it if they don't do it constantly.
Fit-Jellyfish1675@reddit
The worst thing is people are bothered by this but are cool with bar staff with shit pouring techniques putting the dirty nozzle of a beer tap into their pint instead of just angling the glass more.
Sometimes lager is just too fizzy, but not that often.
Even if you wash the nozzle daily, and most places don't on a summers day that is going to have a hell of a lot of stale beer accumulating on it(empty a drip tray at the end of the shift and let me know if you want some of that in your beer). Not to mention potentially other customers spit if it's a pub that doesn't refuse to reuse glasses(which again most don't)
Slartitartfast@reddit
Yeah it plays to a certain sort of bore who thinks their drink requires special attention. It's entirely marketing, I can guarantee most people wouldn't spot the difference in a blind test.
cybertonto72@reddit
It needs to settle before you pour the 2nd part. That's all. It's a beer, real beers need this too.
Nine-Eyes-@reddit
It really doesn't. I even asked staff at the Guinness Storehouse in Dublin and they say its just a ritual that's stuck around, nothing more
Eltothebee@reddit
Nah, just tip the can upside down and slowly lift up
PatternWeary3647@reddit
Probably. I don’t drink the low alcohol version but I assume it’s still made with nitrogen.
Yaseuk@reddit
When I worked in a pub. It was an unwritten rule that if it was a large round and you ordered the Guinness last, you go it in one pour
Slartitartfast@reddit
Or just tell them to pour it normally given it makes no difference, and it's just diageo marketing.
AvatarIII@reddit
It comes from the old way of pouring porter where you have 2 barrels, a carbonated barrel and a flat barrel and you pour half from the carbonated barrel, let it settle, then top up from the flat barrel. If you don't the head would overflow. Now proper Guinness pumps will do different carbonation whether you push the pump forwards or backwards, so you do the highly carbonated direction first, then leave it to settle, then top up with less carbonation. Now if you don't mind having to overflow it, and waste some of the beer and possibly have the wrong amount of head then it probably doesn't matter that much in terms of flavour but it is wasteful and it's harder to hit the correct amount of head.
Nights_Harvest@reddit
How come?
arethainparis@reddit
Takes ages to pour and you need to give it a rest for the head to develop properly. Order it first so the bartender can get it going and finish off the rest of the order so they all come together as one
Eltothebee@reddit
Fun fact, if you pour it in one go it looks exactly the same 39 seconds later as if you let it rest 67 seconds before pouring the rest
AikidokaUK@reddit
Because tic follows tock follows tic follows tock...
[cue bassline]
Enough-Ad3818@reddit
Here's to you Ahab!
MobiusNaked@reddit
Blah blah a blah la!
Song in my head now
Marigold16@reddit
Because you have to wait
EffDubya@reddit
Takes a few mins to pour and settle, so the bar staff like to get these going first
NrthnLd75@reddit
So they can pour the other drinks while the Guinness's first pour is settling.
explodinghat@reddit
Needs to be poured in two goes. Pour, rest, top up. It's a solid minute that it needs to rest for, in which other drinks can be poured/ made
gtr455677ujbvxz4@reddit
Because it takes time to pour
WaussieChris@reddit
Takes longer to pour.
Eltothebee@reddit
As someone who works on the bar, if they ask for it last it gets poured on one go, looks and tastes the same 40 seconds later
MobiusNaked@reddit
Or any ‘lively’ ale
KarlMcr@reddit
Not sure that makes too much difference these days.
I would order this way, then see staff pull the Guinness, watch the Guinness, top up the Guinness and then go get the rest of the order.
PatternWeary3647@reddit
That’s because they aren’t aware of the sub rule, that you can do something else while the Guinness is Guinessing.
Nomis1982@reddit
Absolutely this
shitthrower@reddit
If the bartender serves you before someone else who was there before you, you have to own up and let the other person order first.
Leaving a coin on the side of a pool table to reserve your spot
evenstevens280@reddit
A lot of pool tables are contactless these days. It's not quite the same leaving your debit card on the side
limpingdba@reddit
You just leave a marker of some sort. Either a coin, or something else. I left a stamp as a marker once. Good times.
tcpukl@reddit
Or your phone!
Dynamite_Shovels@reddit
Even more of a power move tbf
smedsterwho@reddit
Overdraft bitch, next 1000 games are mine
baldeagle1991@reddit
If that's the case leave some other form of token or coin.
At least that's what we do in my neck pf the woods.
Venus_Gospel@reddit
So many don’t do this, yet I always try to make a point of it.
Find a spot that looks thinnest within the mass of people, get a hand on the bar inbetween two people if it’s a club or late night bar, not in pubs though.
Squeeze in once a spot opens, and if they come to you first instead of the person next to you who was there first, a simple “they were here first” and a light hand gesture towards said person is all it takes
northyj0e@reddit
Plus, even if you're not strictly next after that person, you'll nearly always be served next and you carry enough moral credit to get away with it
Srapture@reddit
I also wouldn't do "they were here first" more than once because I'd worry the bartender would stop prioritising me after a while, haha.
headphones1@reddit
Other people getting served before you, despite you having waited longer, are one of the small things that really bloody irritate me.
J8YDG9RTT8N2TG74YS7A@reddit
This is exactly why a lot of people don't want single file queues in pubs; because they're the same type of people who push in front and get very angry about it when called out.
They'll do a lot of mental gymnastics to tell you that's not the case. But that's exactly why they do it.
ehsteve23@reddit
a while back i accidentally cut in the queue and a guy got arsey about it, said sorry, i thought that you were being served by her (bar staff who’d just put a drink in front of him) insisted he go first and he ended up buying me and my dad’s drink as a thanks
zonked282@reddit
And you must complete the ritual by casually asking the person next to you, who you know full well was there before you and has not yet been served, " have you been served yet?" As a way to nicely say " the barmans fucked up" without being nasty
James_Whiteside45@reddit
Not saying “I think they were before me” when the bartender accidentally comes to you first.
That’s the real test. Everyone knows the order. The bar staff might not, but the punters absolutely do. Take someone else’s turn and the whole pub quietly marks you as a wrong’un.
SlightlyIncandescent@reddit
I'm not a patriotic guy so not many things make me proud to be British but I'm proud of just how sacred the queue is. I honestly don't think there's anyone with enough status to skip the queue and not look like a knob.
Srapture@reddit
You can absolutely tell who is going to do this. The loud type who leans further forward than anyone else and hold a card or note up between their fingers like it's somehow more enticing.
meltymcface@reddit
Oh god I’d forgotten about the wanker holding their card thinking they’re the shit but literally everyone around them is judging them as a pompous prick.
layendecker@reddit
Prefer the head tilt and point.
Worth noting a second bit of etiquette that is seemingly only recently becoming relevant. You only hit the virtual queue if you approach the bar.
I have seen people standing 5 foot away from the bar looking on and expecting to be served before others. This is the place you stand when waiting to help carry a round and is not part of the queue.
folklovermore_@reddit
This once happened to me in a bar and the guy's card got rejected. I like to think that was the pub etiquette gods telling him off.
James_Whiteside45@reddit
That is totally the pub Gods looking down on him and saying what a d**k
musicallymotivated93@reddit
If someone tears open a bag of crisps and puts them on a table, they're fair game. If they've just opened the top of the bag and being held, they're not.
DeirdreBarstool@reddit
For some reason they taste so much better when they’re torn open and left on the table.
Especially if someone else bought them.
smedsterwho@reddit
I put them in my inside jacket pocket so there is no doubt as to ownership.
Ignatiussancho1729@reddit
I make a wet fart noise with my mouth into the bag like we did in middle school
Careless_Count7224@reddit
I put them down my trousers so it's absolutely clear...and if that etiquette is broken and someone reaches for a crisp well....that's what we call "win win".
DeepPanWingman@reddit
These nuts taste funny
musicallymotivated93@reddit
That's a completely different cheese & onion flavour...
J8YDG9RTT8N2TG74YS7A@reddit
A mate of mine used to do this with McDonald's cheeseburgers.
He had a large inside coat pocket and would stick 4 cheeseburgers in there, and every now and then throughout the night he'd be munching on a cheeseburger in the corner of a pub trying not be seen by the staff.
Darthblaker7474@reddit
While you’re queueing, have a look around to see what’s on offer. Most of if is staring you in the face.
snavej1@reddit
It's too crowded and expensive. Do what punters at my local pub do: go across the road and buy cheaper from Tesco Express!
plz_be_nice_im_sad@reddit
Take yer bloody empties back when you’re leaving
Venus_Gospel@reddit
At the very, very least, group them all together on the table so a passing staff member can grab the lot with a single finger pinch if its <5 glasses
nearly_enough_wine@reddit
Do people not stack the glasses in your neck of the woods?
Cheers, a curious Aussie.
Whulad@reddit
It’s actually dangerous - weakens the glass
MPHOLLI@reddit
No idea if it's just a British thing where nearly all the drinks on offer are served in their own branded glass, and they can vary in shape quite wildly. They won't stack with each other, and some won't even stack with themselves.
Admirable-Trouble789@reddit
I work a smallish bar in the country and I have one particular group of men who order quite a few rounds a couple of nights a week.
They NEVER bring their glasses back to the bar, they will stack them up and put them on the floor underneath the table (yes really) before they bring them back to the bar.
I'm always working alone as well and just do not always have the time to go and clear them up after every round. The bar is too demanding.
It's infuriating.
maisykatee@reddit
I just confront it at that point, I just say like you’ve walked up here to get your next pint, can you please bring your empties back next time, just helps us a lot. If they get arsey I am glad to be rid of them🤷🏻♀️
Admirable-Trouble789@reddit
I have started to.
Last week I ran out of the glasses they use for their pints. I was visibly irritated, I think the guy took the hint.
Marigold16@reddit
I have literally never done this at a bar and disagree that it's a rule. But I have seen the smug sods who do:
"OoOoHh. LOok aT mE. I'm A HERO To ThE pEoPLe." Insert SpongeBob meme.
Sharo_77@reddit
They're probably people who have worked bars. Fun fact - as a result of doing this they're now quite likely to get served faster
ehsteve23@reddit
i’ve never seen anyone brag that they’re better for bringing empties to the bar, it’s just being polite
Slartitartfast@reddit
Unless you're in the beer garden on a sunny day - staff enjoy the fresh air.
Oh, and don't put your fucking crisp packets in your glasses.
AvatarIII@reddit
Where should crisp packets go? I quite often just take it with me in my pocket but I feel like ashtray is gross and in the glass means you only need to pick up and carry one thing back to the bar.
Slartitartfast@reddit
I fold them up and leave them on the table, or in my local I'd take them to the bin when I leave.
socratic-meth@reddit
Crisp packets of course go in the gaps in the table.
Slartitartfast@reddit
Folded up into a triangle, ideally.
Winston_Carbuncle@reddit
Show off
Slartitartfast@reddit
Buy me 2 pints and I'll show you how to do it. Impress your friends!
Winston_Carbuncle@reddit
Sorry but my old man already tried and failed for years. I'm unteachable
folklovermore_@reddit
The real skill is being able to twist it up like a sweet wrapper.
saint1997@reddit
Look at Mr Fancy Pants over here doing triangles! I've only ever known how to do squares
MobiusNaked@reddit
Another one! I do this.
daneview@reddit
Thats to stop them blowing away. Beer gardens rarely have bins
Slartitartfast@reddit
If you don't fold up packets into triangles and stick them in the table gaps can you even call yourself a grownup?
JoviallyImperfect@reddit
Am I weird? I've always worked in pubs/restaurants and I would prefer they were in the glass, I put napkins and everything in glasses when I'm clearing tables, easier to carry
Slartitartfast@reddit
Fair enough, I've just been told by others that it's a faff because of the glass washer. In my local's garden I'd put any rubbish in the bin.
Careless_Count7224@reddit
Best to just leave them to be blown away by the wind?
Slartitartfast@reddit
Tucked in the table in a triangle obvs
Purple_Jump_7403@reddit
I take it inside anyway but especially a sunny day cos of wasps
Slartitartfast@reddit
You're an adult, wasps are nothing to be scared of!
SirQuay@reddit
Unless you're allergic.
0nce-Was-N0t@reddit
That sounds suspiciously like something a wasp would say.
No_Pair8128@reddit
and never put rubbish in the ash tray, especially not chewing gum.
JandsomeHam@reddit
Ehhh I mean when I was a bartender I didn't really mind if people didn't do this or not - the reason for this is is that it almost made it more annoying in my pub when people brought them back tbh because the glass wash was a separate area to the bar, and then if it's busy the bar ended up being a bit cluttered with glasses. So I'd appreciate the gesture but prefer me and other staff members did it right. So in smaller places or bigger places where it's obvious where their glass wash is I usually do it but otherwise probably not
Dynamite_Shovels@reddit
Tbf the more people who DON'T do this, the more I look like an absolute fucking hero when I take them back to the bar
zenz3ro@reddit
Yeah it always amazes me when staff are so thankful, but then I remember how I was exactly the same when doing bar work. Baffles me how basic decency is such a lost art.
TheRiddlerTHFC@reddit
I do the same with trays at airport security.
For some reason, people grab their stuff, leaving the tray on the conveyor. Not all airports have an automated return. Often is just stops the whole line
only1allowed@reddit
Good man!
And helluva username!
Willywonka5725@reddit
Same goes for a cafe, it's how legends are made.
Curious_Sundae_6627@reddit
With you on that, fellow pint glass returner (and MoBo fan)
Dynamite_Shovels@reddit
Legend - still waiting patiently for them to get back together
jrw230291@reddit
Amen brother.
lelpd@reddit
Is this strictly enforced? I’ve never seen it enforced once
Rhym3z_Official@reddit
Some people think it's a thing, some don't. Its definitely not an unwritten rule imo
Various_Dog_5886@reddit
It definitely is unwritten etiquette, you just don't do it
Rhym3z_Official@reddit
As I said....
Various_Dog_5886@reddit
Well, you didn't, which is why I corrected you. You actually specifically said something closer to "it isn't unspoken ettitquette" before you edited your comment
Why would you edit your comment to try and get arsey, please have a diazapam and realise it isn't that important
Rhym3z_Official@reddit
I added to my comment for context but kept in "some people think it's a thing and some don't" I assumed that would be clear enough.. I agree. Its not that deep lol
booroms@reddit
It's on the same level as thanking the bus driver
Venus_Gospel@reddit
No, but this post is about unwritten etiquette.
Not returning glasses isn’t illegal or “wrong” at face value, but it is part of unwritten pub behaviours
Winston_Carbuncle@reddit
That's not just outsiders. Seems to be relatively uncommon with people my age (30s) and younger. I always do it but I'm definitely in the minority.
decentlyfair@reddit
My son lives in Sweden and he says you always know the Brits as they bring their glasses back.
swiftcardine@reddit
I have 0 pub etiquette because I hate them. I only go when I have to. And even then I will get 1 drink because I’d rather die of thirst than stand in a mob of people for an overpriced drink that tastes of shit
doorstopnoodles@reddit
The invisible queue often has an invisible priority lane for regulars. I never have to wait long in my local even if it is heaving because I go there a lot and my order is always straightforward. It's like a little loyalty bonus.
One-Price680@reddit
I dont spend enough time in pubs to totally know the etiquette- the invisible queue/ordering at the bar fills me woth dread and panic
DutchOfBurdock@reddit
Knock someone's drink by accident, buy them a replacement.
ButterscotchFamous@reddit
Unless its Francis Begbie of course
schmoolet@reddit
🤣🤣🤣🤣
Prestigious_Emu6039@reddit
Someone behind the bar drops something that smashes.
Ordinarily at home of course we might expression worry or concern, like any civilised human being would.
However of course in the pub we leave a second for a dramatic silence then as a group let out a massive cheer.
DeepPanWingman@reddit
I'm witnessing a worrying trend from younger pub-goers of general silence or, worse, a disapproving tut if someone does cheer.
tripping_yarns@reddit
Amongst cries of ‘sack the juggler’ or ‘I’m having a smashing time’
NibblyPig@reddit
'wheyy, job opening'
R-Didsy@reddit
Oh man, I'm pretty much done with this one. What's the point? Bar tenders are absolutely over this.
TheRealBrummy@reddit
Yeah agreed, this is definitely dying out
northyj0e@reddit
In Spain they sing happy birthday when this happens, it always makes me laugh.
Specific_Pomelo_8281@reddit
I went to a pub yesterday, barmaid dropped a glass and only our table cheered. She even went “right, why did I get one cheer” 🤣
Thaddeus_Valentine@reddit
I hated that brief period after COVID where everyone carried on queueing single file for the bar.
FunkyYoghurt@reddit
If you're a very good singer, please stop hogging the karaoke queue. Part of the fun of karaoke is the drunk people, the people who can't sing but try, and the group of friends attempting a meddley. If you can belt out Adele really well fantastic. But I don't want to hear you all night.
LFC90cat@reddit
Someone carrying pints gets automatic right of way. You move and make a path clear for them as they're carrying God's nectar
smeghead9916@reddit
And if you knock someone's drink out of their hand, buy them a new one....speaking from experience
sock_cooker@reddit
Yes, definitely don't laugh and tell them it makes them look like they pissed themselves. Also speaking from experience
MobiusNaked@reddit
Cue the bloke in the group you need to pass becoming a temporary Moses
OnlymyOP@reddit
I see quite a few posts asking about the rules of buying rounds, but an irish exit when it's your turn to buy a round is pretty much a sign of zero etiquette.
jinglesan@reddit
A modern variation on this is buying a round 'as a couple' does not automatically cover both people in that couple - it's one round to be bought per person drinking unless you are there for a session so short you won't complete rounds.
I.E. if Andy (single) gets a round, Becky (single) gets a round, then Chris and Debbie (couple) get a round, the next round is not back to Andy, it's Chris or Debbie to get another round first. Four drinkers, four rounds.
Fit_General7058@reddit
I hate it when couples think they are one person when it comes to them putting their hands in their pockets.
DanielReddit26@reddit
They'd absolutely be getting a half pint of Carling with 2 straws next time I was paying to make a point.
Terry__Tibbs@reddit
People who insist on rounds are so cringe, let people drink at their own pace ffs
ehsteve23@reddit
irish exit is just leaving without saying goodbye
Leaving when it’s your round is just being a dick
Mean-Common-3320@reddit
This exit done properly is i) buy a big round ii) leave
GarlicEmergency7788@reddit
I bring 6 beers for my table of 7, they look down to count them and ask "where's yours?"
I am already on my couch eating a kebab with chilli and garlic mayo
Mean-Common-3320@reddit
Ex-actly
mizcello@reddit
My dad will point people out from 40 years ago and say 'i dont like him. he's short on rounds', the guy probably disappeared once from a round and my dad will remember and never forgive them lol
OnlymyOP@reddit
😂 It's hard to forgive the unforgivable..
SteamZ90@reddit
I'm not sure what happened but we've lost the ability to queue around the bar? I walked into what I thought was a very long queue outside of the door, go inside and find the entire bar was empty apart from one section by said door. I queued up in the empty spot, waited awhile until a barman asked me if I needed to be served, said these guys queuing were before me - he said with a very big sigh whoever shouted up their order first will be served first...we all looked at each other and these younger kids didn't say anything...so I gave my round order. I felt bad for skipping 4 people but they looked like deer in headlights.
Its so strange to have a queue but empty around the bar. Have Gen Z no idea about this? I say it as a Millennial.
oportoman@reddit
If you know someone has been waiting before you, ensure you don't get served first
oportoman@reddit
Don't order cocktails if there's only one person serving and there's already a queue
jimmywhereareya@reddit
Never whistle to get the barstaffs attention or tell them that you're next
jizzyjugsjohnson@reddit
Keep one bog for actual shites and the other for schnozz
Toatkgstuff@reddit
Coins on the pool table are a queue to play the winner.
IainMCool@reddit
If there are 3 urinals and they are all free, you NEVER pick the middle one.
Aardvark51@reddit
Let's say there are three urinals and somebody is at one of the end ones. If you go to the middle one rather than the other end one, that tends to mark you out as not one of us. (To be honest, that may be toilet etiquette rather than pub etiquette)
parsl@reddit
simply refer everyone to the free pdf, Passport to the Pub: The Tourist’s Guide to Pub Etiquette (1995) by Kate Fox
kitjen@reddit
If you're in a round you don't ask for extras like crisps or snacks when it's someone else's round. A mate of ours would often say 'oh would you get some crisps, just get a few different flavours and open them up on the table' but he'd never actually buy them himself, just ask when it was someone else's round.
I pulled him up on it once and he got all narky saying 'It's only some crisps, Jesus Christ you know what I'll just buy them shall I.'
Swimming_Possible_68@reddit
Alas, the chaos of the bar is seemingly disappearing as some places queuing seems to be norm...
My local has 2 bars, one up the steps from other. Each bar has a little bell that you ring if the bar staff are at the other bar to let them know you are there.
Remote_Development13@reddit
I keep hearing this, but I've only ever seen a queue once (at a Spoons in a posh area), and I'm a somewhat avid pub visitor. Ridiculous behaviour
darklord7000@reddit
Spoons in a posh area? Bit oxymoronic haha
Remote_Development13@reddit
Not really? Cities have affluent suburbs, those suburbs invariably contain a Spoons
Swimming_Possible_68@reddit
It's always a Spoons!
Not quite a pub but.... I was in Rock City this week at a gig and it was a strict queuing system. I'm pretty sure when I 1st went to rock city some 25 years ago it was much more of your usual free for all at the bar.
JoviallyImperfect@reddit
God the queues, you gotta ignore them
Brickie78@reddit
Especially if it's a quiet pub or there are tables outside, it's common for foreign visitors to assume it's table service, and often get a bit pissy when no-one arrives to take their order...
Sweetie-07@reddit
I've worked in a few pubs, and the worst possible thing is when entitled punters click their fingers shouting stuff like "service" 🤦🏼♀️ Then they'd be the last person in a queue situation to get served - however annoyed it made them 😂
folklovermore_@reddit
This is how I responded to those people when I worked in bars. Sometimes they got a pointed "I'll be with you in a minute, sir" (for some reason it was always men of a certain age) as well.
Sweetie-07@reddit
It was always men of a certain age with me too - one bloke in particular had a very high opinion of himself, he would click his fingers while shouting Serving Wench!!! like he was Sid the Sexist from the Viz in an attempt to make the other regulars laugh 🤦🏼♀️ He tapped my backside one day when I was taking a pint to a table for one of my favourite polite punters who was in a wheelchair, and in a moment of pure temper I threw it all over him. He tried to get me sacked but my boss took my side and he was laughed out of the pub 😂
AvatarIII@reddit
The invisible queue is dying out/is pub-layout dependant.
Rounds is probably one of the main ones that tourists don't seem to understand.
Similar-Factor@reddit
It’s the bar queuing. The entire North American continent doesn’t know how to approach the bar and are fundamentally aghast as you walk past the long single line to the 90% empty bar space and get served.
Typical_Efficiency_3@reddit
First round - buy the bar staff a drink “and one for yourself”
Successful_Fan1300@reddit
I have a nearly 3 year old Autistic toddler, who elopes (runs off) but in the pub he has to either sit in his buggy, highchair or on someone's knee. No ifs no buts.
So, for me, it's letting your sprogs run free around a pub with no one actually following, or keeping an eye on them.
If I can keep my Autistic son, who doesn't understand, from running around the pub, then why are you letting your neurotypical children run around, like they're smacked off their tts on drgs?
🤣
Altorode@reddit
You can say tits and drugs on reddit
Lottes_mom@reddit
Tits and drugs!
Successful_Fan1300@reddit
I did not know this! 😅 Thanks for letting me know. 😅
BoredReceptionist1@reddit
I mean plenty of the other children may also not be neurotypical
Successful_Fan1300@reddit
Where I live, you can normally differentiate between the neurodivergent children and the neurot
BoredReceptionist1@reddit
You're making some pretty sweeping assumptions/judgements. As the mother of a neurodivergent child I would think you would be more conscious of avoiding stereotypes
Successful_Fan1300@reddit
Hey, this just what I have personally observed in my local pub. When I go out and about I don't make any of these connections. Most neurodivergent childrens parents also have an Autism awareness lanyard close by their child too. I have two separate ones. One for my son which is more colourful and then one for myself which is a lot more dull. I'm also Autistic myself, to which I'm very observant of my surroundings. My comment is literally based upon my local pub, which most of us Autism parents know each other anyways, as there's only currently one support group for us in our town, it is also based upon my observations. Our town is rather small, just to add.
But I will take on board what you have said, as I was late diagnosed (this time last year) and I am still learning.
I hope you have a wonderful day and I hope you get to go to your local and have a beer (or drink of preference) in their beer garden. 😃
Less_Win2234@reddit
Friday night is fight night.
TimedDelivery@reddit
It took me ages to get my head around the rules and etiquette of buying a round after I moved to London from Australia.
Undrcovrcloakndaggr@reddit
Can't believe you've overlooked the requirement to cheer whenever someone drops a glass!!!
SuperExstatic@reddit
Some bar staff don’t even understand the invisible queue and just start serving people they know or want to know
charliedacey@reddit
People on reddit always make out that there's loads of strict implicit rules in pubs, in reality almost none of these stand
Infinite_Spring_3564@reddit
It’s so fucking cringe man. ‘Violation of these most sacred tenets of the pub must rightly be seen as a declaration of war!! 🤪’ Literally none of this matters. Please just let us drink in peace.
rumour13@reddit
Having run pubs for the last 15 years 90% of these are accurate
whatmichaelsays@reddit
"WHEYHAYYYYY!!!" at the sound of a dropped glass.
Allydarvel@reddit
My Irish mate never grasped the unwritten rule about buying rounds when you enter the pub..even after a decade.
Basically, if you walk in and your mates are less than halfway down their beers, it is the last person who bought who will get them a drink. If it is more than halfway, then the new guy buys a full round.
You could see him dreading it walking in, or if he was sitting with a beer and someone else arrived..just waiting to be told if he needed to buy
InTheZone135@reddit
Unbeknownst to me as a young person, a long time ago. I was drunk, at the bar and started waving my twenty note at the barman. They then spiked my drink, I nearly died that night.
InducedChip89@reddit
That’s what you get for waving your money at them
rumour13@reddit
A more modern one but get off your fucking phone when ordering at the bar and give staff the courtesy of your full attention. I personally will ignore anyone till they get off the phone if theyre trying to get served.
Different-Employ9651@reddit
You don't tell the bar tender who is next.
purplepatch@reddit
Unless he comes to you and there’s someone who’s been waiting longer.
pip_goes_pop@reddit
Yeah the ultimate in etiquette is "nah this chap was before me"
BobBobBobBobBobDave@reddit
To be honest, I think the pub invisible queue thing is largely nostalgia.
Sometimes it worked. Someone else jumping in front of you, bar staff having no idea who was next, people pushing their way to front waving a note, etc. also happened pretty regularly.
To read a lot of internet comments you would think pub queueing prior to COVID was positively Utopian.
Anyway, for me, the answer would be knowing what you are going to order before you get to the bar (as much as possible). I used to work in a busy pub, and people who waited to get served and the stared at you like a rabbit in the headlights as if it had just occurred to them that they needed to choose something were a persistent menace.
Macky93@reddit
You still shouldn't be forming a full on queue at a pub, just form around the bar, and make do the awkward "oh she/he was here first" nod
BobBobBobBobBobDave@reddit
Did you actually read the comment?
Yes, you SHOULD do this, what I am saying is that the belief there was a golden era where this was the norm people didn't try it on, is false.
pender81@reddit
"anything else"
"ahh yes, 3 pints of Guinness"
SuperDinkle406@reddit
Don't talk to me, or my dog, unless I talk to you first.
NWgayslag@reddit
You must be a southerner with that attitude.
If you bring your dog to the pub, then the dog is certainly getting a “hello” at least, and most likely a stroke!
It’s the pub dog tax.
Sometimes I wish dogs would leave their miserable owners at home when they go to the pub!
Justboy__@reddit
A glass smashes you shout “wheeeey” . It’s just the rules.
LordThys@reddit
The queue definitely. Its uniquely British, doesnt matter if you're rich, poor, upper, middle, lower class, black, white, male, female, in the pub queue everyone is equal, waiting their turn/ "You were first mate"
onionsofwar@reddit
Oh I wish I lived in that perfect world you described. People seem to be every one for themselves most of the time.
Wonder_Shrimp@reddit
The trick is to keep track of the people immediately around you, just one or two either side of you. If the bar staff takes your order when you know someone at your side was there first then it is bad etiquette not to pass the bar staff onto them. So the whole chaotic system is managed with a mix of self-policing and also the bar staff themselves keeping as close an eye as they can
Also, once you've got your drink then piss off out of the way. I HATE it when people hover round the bar so no one can tell if they're still being served or if they're just blocking everyone else's way. And it's almost always the latter
darklord7000@reddit
Unless they’re a regular bar fly, then the barman/regular table seaters always know what the deal is and keeps them tanked up
samfitnessthrowaway@reddit
If it's busy and there's only one on the bar, don't try and order any cocktail more complicated than a gin and tonic.
wallado7303@reddit
When buying crisps/ nuts, open the bag up for the table to have a nibble. In addition, if someone does so, don't be greedy, take a few and be thankfull.
LucyLovesApples@reddit
Wait your turn at the bar
Expensive-Draw-6897@reddit
Stop adding to the order. Especially when others are waiting.
hhfugrr3@reddit
Definitely the invisible queue at the bar. A group of Americans walked up to the bar and pushed ahead of me in the queue recently. I admonished them with my most derisory tut AND an eye roll! Disgraceful behaviour.
purrcthrowa@reddit
If you're buying multiple drinks, order Guinness first (and don't order cocktails/complex drinks which require mixing if the pub is very busy).
Puzzled-Job9556@reddit
Have we always referred to barman/maid as a bartender?
stripped-2020@reddit
The clicking and waving? Noooo. Never. Any barman/barmaid worth their salt would ignore a customer like that until they piped down, otherwise they'd be lording it over you all night.
rashleymo@reddit
Don't form a bloody orderly queue FFS... I have not and will not
ajame5@reddit
I was in Dublin last weekend and a 20-deep queue of tourists had formed at the bar. I walked to the actual bar, got served instantly after #1 in the queue. I've still not come down off the adrenaline rush.
AxargoOpium@reddit
Moving someone's coat off a chair to take it. That coat isn't a forgotten item, it's a sacred placeholder that means my mate is at the bar, this seat is spiritually occupied, do not test me. It's the pub equivalent of planting a flag on occupied territory, and a declaration of war.
Marigold16@reddit
If you're part of the group, then no. We're all sitting at the same table.
If you are however invading a table and just removing the placeholder coats, then no.
ArgumentativeNutter@reddit
you're right, but I don't think I've ever seen that. i can't even imagine how i'd feel
Fit_ashtray252@reddit
Yeah but if the table is empty it's fair game
TakovacsPlays@reddit
The bartender knows who's next. They are the only true arbiter of that.
Clicking, waving money? Back of the queue.
flangeflangeflanges@reddit
Sitting down at a table that has other people sitting at without asking if it’s ok first.
tripping_yarns@reddit
I like to sit at the bar. Populate the edges first, leaving the middle area clear for new arrivals. If it starts getting busy and there’s a few of you chatting then it’s good manners to form a ‘conversational triangle’ or whatever polygon you have the bodies for.
Snaggl3t00t4@reddit
Either...stand your round...or know your place in the Q.
mizcello@reddit
There always responses about bar staff not knowing whos next, as bar staff, I can assure you, we know, often times we will say 'whos mext' but im always aware of whos just arrived and who's been standing there, usually im asking 'whos next' to make sure my co-workers hasn't already served them. I have told people 'no this person was first' plenty of times.
Anyways mine is, be ready!! it's so annoying when it's busy, someone gets to the bar and hmm and errms, you've been stood there for 5 minutes, how do you not know what you want!
BoredReceptionist1@reddit
Because we needed to see what wines/juices/spirits you have behind the bar!
mizcello@reddit
noooo, not if you'd had your hand on the bar for 5 minutes, that's plenty time to look and see what others are getting.
Easterncrane@reddit
People are increasingly ignoring the bar queue and forming an actual queue in line. There’s a sign in the local which tells people not to do this however the staff will always serve the queue first irrespective of who actually turned up first and ignore people at the bar.
evenstevens280@reddit
Not ordering a Guinness before the rest of your drinks.
ruobrah@reddit
And everyone else’s Guinness second.
Cultural-Ambition211@reddit
And don’t suddenly say at the end “oh and a passion fruit martini and sex on the beach cocktails” as they take fucking ages to make.
GuybrushFunkwood@reddit
At least order a pint and a bag of pig shavings BEFORE you jimmy open the fruity …. It’s just good manners …
Historical_Project86@reddit
Pretty much the invisible queue, but also that it's dog eat dog and complaining about being overlooked is laughed at. I always used to associate it with machismo, since when I was growing up it was usually men who went to the bar. I'm 56 and still hate the thought of trying to get a drink at a crowded bar.
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