Hello everyone,

I would love some advice on a complicated situation.

I am an American (28F) living in Paris. I have been in a relationship with my French partner (27F) for nearly 6 years. We met when I was studying abroad in Paris right before the pandemic hit. I stayed in France and finished my studies via Zoom (the campus had closed during covid).

Before the pandemic and before getting into a relationship I had been planning to get a Master’s in London after my studies. My partner and I at the time were both young and naive, we decided to both forego our masters to do 2 years of internships together and hopefully start a business together afterwards. This choice entailed a very brief internship in Morocco followed by an 8 month internship in Amsterdam. TLDR our great plan didn’t work out as well as expected. After a year and 2 months my partner decided she would get a job in France. We moved to the Alps and then the South of France for two positions for her over the course of 2.5 years. I didn’t work during that time due to lack of opportunity in those locations/visa difficulties. This led to a lot of shame and suffering on my end.

We ended up moving back to Paris nearly 2 years ago because we both a ) wanted to live in Paris again and b) both had professional opportunities. I have been working as an assistant in a furniture gallery. I haven’t been thrilled about my job (very low pay except if I make a big sale, average of one client every two weeks, not much intellectual stimulation). Despite these drawbacks, the experience has led to my desire to strike out on my own in the industry, ideally working as an interior designer as well. I have learned a lot but don’t feel legitimate enough to start a studio off the bat, despite the fact that a lot of interior designers don’t have formal training.

While I was perusing a designer’s work a couple weeks ago I came across a university in London that has a program that I believe could bring a lot of weight and legitimacy to my potential business. I didn’t think too much of it and wrote it off as a pipe dream.

Yesterday my partner told me she saw a job offer in London for the company she used to work for. She told me she wanted to apply. She asked if Id be interested in moving there , I said yes.

Today I spoke to her about the master’s program in London. She told me that after reflection she doesn’t want to move to London and leave her friends and family. At first she criticised my desire, asking if I didn’t think it was ridiculous to get a master’s degree at nearly 30 and that it’s sad I don’t have enough self confidence to start a business on my own. She asked why I can’t do a masters here, to which I replied I prefer not to when French isn’t my first language. She then told me that she would never mpve to London with me unless I had a job and could support myself (rather than being supported by my parents), also telling me that if I were to do a masters here we would move into different apartments because she doesn’t want my half of the apartment to be paid by my parents.

This evening she told me she was unsure if things would work between us because I clearly want to live elsewhere and she didn’t want to move.

She’s now saying it’s ok if I go but I’m saddened by the whole situation and feel guilty about my desire to perhaps go for a masters. Any advice would be appreciated.